Title: Wounded Heart.  
Author:Sherry Davis.
E-mail:SherryDav@aol.com
Category: S MSR  
Rating: NC17 For language and sexual situations.
Spoilers: Up to and including US5.
Archive:Anywhere as long as my name and addy remain.

Summary: A body found in Mulder's home town shatters his dreams and 
prompts him to question his memory of the events surrounding his 
sister's disappearance.

Feedback:You betcha.

Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Walter Skinner and a host of 
other X-Files characters do not belong to me. They belong to Chris 
Carter, 1013 and the FOX network and no copyright infringement is 
intended.

Authors Notes: This story has taken the best part of seven months to 
write. In case anyone is wondering this is my first dip into 
fanfiction. My sincere thanks go to my newly found grammar guru, 
Polly, for her endless help and patience. Thanks also go to Rhonni 
Lake who not only beta read this for me and put up with my terrible 
punctuation, but also encouraged me to post this. Or should I say 
threatened, Rhonni.<g> 

I must also pay homage to Dawson Rambo who's amazing literary works 
have inspired me to try this out for myself. Way to go Daws!

Lastly, I'm a Brit. I hope that my different spelling of certain 
words and phrases is not distracting. Be aware that this story pulls 
no punches. It has strong language and some very unsavoury elements 
that might offend. It also has graphic descriptions of sex between 
our two favourite agents. Just ask Rhonni. You have been warned.            

Enjoy.
------
Wounded Heart
By 
Sherry Davis.			          

	Special Agent Fox Mulder paced incessantly around the Assistant 
Director's outer office. His movements were economic; his tall six 
foot frame only using that energy required to get him from one end of 
the room to the other. He had it down to a fine art now, knew that it 
only took ten of his long strides to cross from his chair next to 
Scully to reach the end of the room and the black filing cabinets 
that marked its boundary. A quick pivot on his heels and it took ten 
more paces for him to return to the exact same spot from whence he 
had started. Mulder ran a hand through his unruly short brown hair 
and let out an audible sigh.

	What was taking Skinner so long? After all it had been the 
Assistant Director himself that had called down to the basement 
office and had requested their presence post-haste, before Scully had 
even had time to take her coat off this morning. He had sounded 
uncharacteristically nervous, even worried on the telephone, a sign 
that the psychologist in Mulder hadn't overlooked.  Mulder glanced 
briefly at his watch, it was almost twenty minutes since Kimberly had 
announced their arrival in the outer office and there was still no 
sign of their boss. It was beginning to make Mulder nervous and he 
didn't do nervous well.  No sir, not at all.

	He took a deep breath and looked about the room to try and take 
his mind off of the multitude of reasons his boss could have for 
calling them up here. But there was nothing much of note in the well 
decorated office that caught Mulder's eye. Everything just served to 
justify his long held belief that the people in charge of the Bureau 
budget had no idea as to where to spend the hard earned cash of the 
average American taxpayer.
	
	**I could provide them with a few alternatives,** he thought 
wryly. Such as giving him and his partner of five years a decent 
office to work in. One that was bigger than a storage cupboard and 
had the added luxury of some windows! Still, he pondered to himself, 
if they were to do that he would miss the old place downstairs that 
housed the 'FBI's most unwanted.'
	
	He shot an affectionate glance toward his partner and amended 
his earlier thought. The basement office was no longer the sole 
domain of the lone wolf of the Bureau. It hadn't been since the day a 
fiery young redhead had walked into his lair and, without knowing it, 
into his life.
	
	That day the lone wolf had been given a mate.
	
	He felt a blush spread across his face at the thought of those 
words. That wasn't exactly true since their relationship was not an 
intimate one, but he couldn't help feeling that he and Scully were 
joined together on every other level that could exist between a man 
and a woman.
	
	He gazed at her as she sat quietly in a chair, one leg casually 
crossed over the other at the knee. She browsed idly through a copy 
of the latest edition of the inter office magazine. Unlike Mulder, 
she came across as the perfect example of poise and control.
	
	Mulder knew that deep down she was probably champing at the bit 
as much he was, but she would never be the one to show it. So instead 
of pacing and sighing her frustration at having been kept waiting, 
she was filling her time catching up on the latest gossip in the 
magazine. No doubt during the next boring stakeout she would impart 
that gossip to him, and as always he would be amazed at how she 
managed to keep her finger on the pulse of the Bureau when she lived 
in the subterranean world of the basement office.
	
	Mulder let a small smile play across his lips. Nothing ever 
fazed Scully, she always took everything in her stride. He couldn't 
help but feel a tad jealous of her capacity to always look totally in 
control of every given situation. That rock steady Scully self 
control had gotten him out of some pretty intense situations and 
he took a moment to thank the powers that be for having bestowed her 
upon him.
	
	Sensing his gaze on her, Scully looked up from her reading and 
gave him a small smile. He returned it before resuming his pacing of 
the office, looking once more at his watch.
	
	"Have you any idea why the Assistant Director wants to see us?" 
Scully asked Kimberly.
	
	The short blonde secretary shook her head, "Sorry. I have no 
idea. What I can say is that it wasn't planned, he asked me to 
rearrange several important appointments so that he could fit you in 
this morning." With that she shrugged her shoulders and returned her 
attention back to her computer monitor.

	"If it was so important, why is he leaving us hanging around?" 
Mulder stated irritably.  He had better things to do than waste his 
time sitting around the Assistant Director's office. There was a 
casefile that had piqued his curiosity. He was itching to get back 
and read it one more time before trying to think of a way he could 
get around Scully to pursue it.
	
	The door to Skinner's office suddenly opened, breaking Mulder 
from his train of thought regarding the new case. He looked toward 
the doorway and caught sight of Skinner's broad chest as he moved to 
fill the gap between the two offices. Mulder glanced up quickly to be 
met by the concerned and compassionate stare of his boss.
	
	Mulder's radar suddenly kicked into gear. The worried tone that 
he had heard in Skinner's voice during their telephone conversation 
was now apparent upon his face for all to see. He chanced a quick 
look in Scully's direction and was relieved to see that he hadn't 
imagined what he had seen. She had seen it too and her eyes told him 
that the uncharacteristic look upon their boss' face had her worried.
	
	Skinner ushered the partners into his office with a slight wave 
of his hand.  As they passed him in the doorway, Scully couldn't help 
the impulse she had to check that the room was uninhabited.  Looking 
hesitantly around the corner of the doorway, she scanned the room and 
detected no other person present. She was also relieved to note that 
the smell of stale cigarette smoke was also thankfully absent from 
their boss' office.
	
	As she crossed the threshold into the spacious room, she became 
aware of Mulder's hand as it came to rest at the small of her back. 
That small chivalrous act never failed to speak volumes to the petite 
redhead. And right now it was telling her that whatever trouble they 
were in, they were in it together. It was a gesture that over the 
five years of their partnership had become a source of reassurance to 
her.
	With Mulder's guiding hand still resting on her back, the 
partners almost moved in tandem toward the two leather chairs that 
sat in front of Skinner's wide mahogany desk. Reaching their 
destination, the agents separated and took their usual seats across 
from the Assistant Director.
	
	Turning from the doorway Skinner shot a quick look over his 
shoulder at his secretary, "Kim, could you..."
	
	"Hold all your calls." Kim replied.
	
	Skinner nodded curtly and quietly closed the door on his 
secretary. Kim frowned as the door closed. She too had noticed the 
look on the face of her boss. Something was up and it concerned the 
Bureau's two most notorious agents.
	
	Somehow she didn't think it was going to be something good.
	
	She gave the closed door a final look before resuming her work. 
No doubt whatever was about to happen in that room would make its way 
onto the grapevine, it always did, and then she would find out what 
all this had been about.

	Picking up the telephone she started the long business of 
canceling all Skinner's immediate appointments and she never looked 
back at the door again.


Office of Walter Skinner
FBI Headquarters
10:05 A.M.

	Skinner closed the door to the outer office quietly and leaned 
against it for support. What he was about to do was not going to be 
easy. His dark brown eyes glanced over toward the two agents that 
were now seated in front of his desk and he felt a pang of intense 
pain grip him. He pushed the feeling away. It was his job as an 
Assistant Director of the FBI to be the bearer of bad news. It was 
always at the back of his mind that someday he might have to appear 
at the home of a relative of one of his agents to give the news that 
their loved one had been killed or injured in the line of duty.

	It had been something that he had been taught to do; but still, 
it hurt to be the bearer of such sorrowful news. It was especially 
hard, Skinner realized, when he was going to have to give that news 
to somebody that he not only respected as an agent, but looked on as 
a friend.

	He noticed Mulder begin to squirm in his seat, impatient as 
always for whatever the cause for this meeting to begin. Scully's 
small pale hand reached out to gently touch her partner's forearm.  
The contact immediately stilled Mulder's movements and appeared to 
settle him. A small smile passed across Skinner's lips, their unique 
bond never failed to amaze him.

	Unable to put off the inevitable any longer, Skinner pushed 
himself away from the door and walked toward his desk. Lowering 
himself slowly into the highback leather chair, he took a moment to 
compose himself. He glanced at the small, unlabeled manila file 
before him, the contents of which filled him with a dread that he 
hadn't felt since his days in the Vietnamese jungles.

	His fingers subconsciously made their way toward the folder, 
only for Skinner to pull them back before they made contact as though 
burned. He quickly looked up, to be met with the concerned sapphire 
blue eyes of Dana Scully, viewing both him and the file with 
trepidation.

	"Are we in some kind of trouble, sir?" Scully asked.

	Skinner shook his head once, "No Agent Scully, you're not in 
any kind of trouble."

	"Then could you tell us the nature of this meeting?" Mulder 
interjected, his impatience was at breaking point and he couldn't 
keep it from coming out in the tone of his voice.

	"This meeting has nothing to do with Bureau matters." Skinner 
informed the two agents sitting before him. They took a moment to 
glance at each other, the same confused look registering upon both of 
their faces before they returned their attention to the man in front 
of them.

	Skinner's hands came to rest upon the manila folder.

	"I was called into the office at four-thirty this morning..." 
He let a few seconds pass before he continued, "...The call came from 
the Director. That in itself is most unusual, but he felt that the 
information that he had received was too important to be given to 
anyone else in the agency."

	"What information?" Mulder moved forward in his seat, suddenly 
eager to know what was in the folder that the Assistant Director 
seemed to be guarding almost obsessively. If it wasn't anything to do 
with the Bureau directly, could it be something to do with the X-
Files - indirectly?

	Skinner noted Mulder's eagerness. It was obvious that the young 
agent was thinking that he had been given some important news 
concerning his quest for the truth. In a way he had, but it wasn't 
going to be the kind of truth that Fox Mulder was going to want to 
see or hear. This truth was going to have a shattering effect upon 
the man sitting in front of him.

	Taking a final glance down at the file, Skinner took a deep 
breath before beginning his narrative.

	"The skeletal remains of a young child have been unearthed by a 
construction crew in Chilmark."

	The room became deathly quiet. Skinner noticed Mulder's face 
drain of blood at the mention of his old home town.

	"Chilmark?" Mulder repeated in a hushed whisper.

	Skinner quickly continued, "They were digging the foundations 
for a new hospital when they came across the body. Local police were 
called to the scene and the remains were taken to the office of the 
Medical Examiner, "Skinner chanced another look at his young male 
agent, "it would appear from the initial examination that the body is 
that of a young girl. The Medical Examiner puts her age between seven 
and ten years." If it were at all possible, Mulder's face became even 
paler.

	Skinner watched as Scully's hand left the comfort of her lap to 
clasp Mulder's hand tightly; as she intuitively made the mental leap 
that Skinner had known she would make.

	"The body..." Skinner hesitated and cleared his throat, "had a 
healed break to the left collarbone." The tough ex Marine looked away 
as he saw the anguish flood Mulder's face. He wished somehow he could 
make the words he were saying more bearable, but he knew that there 
was no way that he could.

	If it was physically possible for a human being to literally 
deflate, Scully knew that Mulder would have. He slumped forward in 
his seat, his elbows resting on his knees, his head bent low between 
his legs as though he were fighting off a bout of fainting. Scully 
ran her hand over his back, never taking her eyes off of him.

	"Samantha?" Mulder's anguished whisper was barely audible in 
the large office, but the two other occupants both heard it as though 
it were a shout.

	Skinner nodded although neither agent could see him, caught up 
as they were with their own reactions to the news that had just been 
delivered.

	"They ran the details they had through the missing persons 
database. They came up with the missing persons file that you 
initiated when you first started the X-Files. They ran a match and it 
looked promising, so they went on to obtain, through the Bureau, 
details of your DNA to match against that of the victim." Skinner 
hesitated, taking off his wire-rimmed glasses and placing them gently 
upon the ink blotter on his desk.  He squeezed the bridge of his nose 
between his thumb and forefinger and let out a heartfelt sigh, "It 
would appear that they discovered a ninety-eight percent match."

	Mulder let out a small moan, and buried his face in his hands.
"No!" He looked up at the Assistant Director, "There has to be 
some kind of mistake.  It can't be her...  it can't..."

	"There's no mistake, Mulder." Skinner ran a hand over his bald 
pate wearily, "I triple checked everything I could before I called 
you up here this morning. It all checks out."

	"I refuse to believe that." Mulder stated, denial and anger now 
lacing his words, "It's some kind of elaborate set up. They tried to 
make me believe she was dead once before on the Roche case...  
they're trying to do it again."

	"Mulder.." Skinner began.

	"Sir," Scully interrupted, "may I take a look at the report?"

	Skinner frowned at his female agent and wondered at her 
request. It wasn't that she didn't believe him, he knew that. It was 
probably more to do with the fact that if she read the report and 
confirmed Skinner's findings it was more likely that Mulder would 
believe it. In part that was one of the reasons that the file had sat 
on his desk, but he also knew that there were some things in that 
report that were going to hurt the tall dark-haired man before him 
even more than the news of his sister's death.  Reluctantly, Skinner 
slid the manila folder over toward Scully's outstretched hand.

	She took it and settled back into her seat. Opening the file, 
she immediately made her way to the back where the preliminary 
autopsy report would have been filed by the Medical Examiner.  
Skinner watched as she quickly scanned the data that was neatly typed 
out upon the crisp white sheets. She suddenly stopped, her eyes 
growing wide and she nervously bit at her lower lip. Looking up 
momentarily from the report she met her boss's silent gaze. The deep 
sadness in his eyes only served to mirror that of her own as the 
words that she had read sank in.

	She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall and slid her 
gaze away from Skinner's to rest upon the anguished man seated beside 
her. He was now staring stony faced out of the large window behind 
Skinner's desk that overlooked the Washington skyline; but she knew 
that his thoughts were far away, possibly decades away reliving that 
nightmare moment when his world had been torn apart.

	"Mulder..." Scully called his name quietly, trying to break 
through the wall of memories that he had erected around him. There 
was no reply. He continued to stare into nothingness, his mind 
twenty-five years in the past. She placed the file back on Skinner's 
desk and stood. Crossing the small distance to where Mulder sat, she 
squatted down in front of him, gently taking both his hands in hers 
and caressing them softly. "Mulder..." she called his name again and 
this time he responded, looking down at their entwined hands before 
allowing his eyes to travel up her body to finally rest on her 
composed face.

	"The report appears to have been thoroughly investigated." She 
said softly, choosing her words as carefully as she could, "The 
Medical Examiner in Chilmark has done everything that I would have in 
obtaining the identity of the victim." She felt her lower lip tremble 
with emotion as his eyes filled with tears, one broke free and began 
a slow journey down his tortured face. His grip on her hand became 
almost unbearably tight as he fought with his rising emotions.

	He shook his head forlornly, hanging onto his denial as though 
it was his last link with sanity. "It's not her, Scully." He 
disengaged their entwined hands and stood up, moving past her and 
beginning to pace the room much in the same way that he had paced the 
outer office, "I would know if it was her, I would feel it." He 
looked at his partner, "I know I would..."

	Skinner broke into the conversation, "The police in Chilmark 
want you to go up there and officially identify the body."

	Mulder spun on him, "I refuse to identify the body of a 
stranger as that of my sister." He began marching around the room at 
a frantic pace and Scully became increasingly worried that he might 
at any moment lash out at something, anything, to release the grief 
and frustration that he was feeling.

	Skinner slid two arline tickets across the smooth surface of 
his desk, "You're both booked on the next available flight to 
Boston," he glanced at his watch, "it leaves in a little over an 
hour.  When you arrive, a Bureau car will be waiting to take you to 
the crime scene and then onto the Medical Examiner's office to 
formally make the identification."

	Scully picked up the airline tickets and gave them a cursory 
perusal, "These tickets are first class?" There was an unmistakable 
question in her voice.

	Skinner nodded, "They were purchased on the instructions of the 
Director himself."

	"Finally I'm recognized." Mulder replied, sarcasm practically 
dripping from his tongue. He strode over to the desk in front of 
Skinner and rested his hands upon it, "Don't you see its closure that 
*they* want. Any form of closure will do, as long as it gets me off 
their backs."

	"We all know the lengths to which *they* are prepared to go," 
he pointed at the file on Skinner's desk, "this is just another 
attempt to get me to go away.  What better way than to give me the 
one thing I've been looking for... my sister."

	"I don't think so." Skinner replied. "Look, I didn't come down 
with the last shower, Mulder.  I did my stint as an investigator just 
like you and Scully. I checked this out... thoroughly...  I've been 
here since before dawn trying to make sure they weren't yanking your 
chain. I found *nothing* to implicate the Consortium in this... 
nothing. I think this is genuine. I think it's your sister that was 
found in that unmarked grave in Chilmark and I think it's your duty 
to go up there and see for yourself."

	"It's not her..." Mulder replied through clenched teeth.

	"Then prove it!" Skinner countered.

	They stared each other out for what felt like minutes, but was 
only a matter of seconds. Mulder broke the contact first. Without 
saying another word, he turned on his heel and marched for the door.  
Yanking it open he walked through and slammed it after him. The 
pictures and citations hanging on Skinner's wall jumped and swayed 
with the force of the impact.

	Skinner turned his attention to Scully, "What the hell is wrong 
with him?"

	"He's in denial." She ran a hand through her auburn hair and 
sighed, "He's spent his entire adult life searching for her. How do 
you expect him to feel when he finds out that she has been dead all 
that time and that all of his efforts, no matter how noble, were for 
nothing?"

	Skinner leaned back in his chair, "How's this going to effect 
him, Scully? Is he going to be able to go on up there and look at 
this objectively?"

	"I'm not the psychologist, sir." Scully replied brusquely.

	"No, but you are a Medical Doctor," Skinner dropped his voice a 
fraction, "and more importantly you are his friend." She nodded her 
head in understanding, "Is he going to be able to hold it together up 
there?"

	"I don't know." She worried her bottom lip with her teeth, "I 
honestly don't know." With that she turned to leave, having said 
everything that she was prepared to say on the matter. She hadn't 
been strictly honest with their boss, she had an idea just how badly 
this was going to effect her partner, but there was no point in 
bringing her fears into the open when there was nothing that could be 
done about them.

	She paused at the door, her hand upon the doorknob and looked 
back over her shoulder at the Assistant Director. "Sir, is there any 
way that *they* could have known about this?  Do you think that 
*they're* capable of allowing a man to be haunted for so long, when 
they already had the answer to his suffering? Could *they* be that 
inhumane?"

	Her questions hung in the air.  Skinner furrowed his brow, 
doing his best to think her questions through, using his limited 
knowledge of the Consortium to gain an answer. After a while, Scully 
gave up and opened the door preparing to walk out and leave her boss 
to his deliberations. She was halfway out the door when Skinner's 
voice caused her to turn back.

	"I think *they're* capable of anything, Scully. Anything to 
keep *their* secret agenda alive. I wouldn't put it past them to have 
known all along the whereabouts of Samantha Mulder's body and for 
some perverse reason they've kept that location a secret." He 
hesitated momentarily before continuing, "What we have to ask 
ourselves, Scully, is why?  Why wait until now to leak that 
information? What do *they* have to gain from it? Why should Mulder 
finding his truth now, after all these years, be important to them?"

	They stared at one another, neither in possession of the 
answers that they needed. Scully once again turned to leave. Skinner 
once again stopped her.

	"Take care of him, Scully." She nodded once and slipped through 
the open door closing it quietly behind her.

	Inside the office, Skinner picked up the manila folder and 
opened it. He scanned the documents once more, trying desperately to 
figure out what those bastards had in store for Mulder now.

	The answer eluded him. In frustration he slammed the file back 
down on his desk. Swiveling his chair around he faced the window 
behind him and stared out at the mid-morning traffic. He wanted those 
answers. He wanted them badly, he felt a strong need to protect the 
tortured man that together with Dana Scully made up the best 
investigative team the Bureau had.

	*They* were out to get Mulder. That much Skinner was sure of, 
but the how and the why were much more complicated. He steepled his 
fingers and rested them under his chin. He was going to find out, 
somehow... someway... and when he did, he was going to do everything 
in his power to protect the two agents that had just left his office.

	"Sometimes you have to draw a line, Walter," he told himself, 
"and I'm drawing that line right here and right now."

*******************************************************************

FBI Headquarters Building,
Washington DC, 10.25 A.M.

	The first thing Scully did after leaving Skinner's office was 
to head straight back toward the basement. She needed to find Mulder 
and instinct told her exactly where she thought he would be. Walking 
with purpose toward the elevator, she didn't stop to casually chat 
with any of the other agents that she passed, although it was obvious 
that a couple were trying to catch her eye.
	
	She couldn't help wondering if the scene inside Skinner's 
office had already managed to get on the Bureau's version of the 
'Jungle Telegraph.' For Mulder's sake, she hoped not. She stabbed at 
the down button, noticing as she did that Agent Humphries had begun 
to walk toward her. She bit back a sigh and waited for the elevator 
to arrive, praying that it would make its entrance before the agent.
	
	Luck, for once, was on her side. The elevator arrived with an 
audible ding, the doors slid open and she quickly stepped inside.  
For a second it looked like Humphries was going to pursue her into 
the interior of the elevator car, but one stern look from her blue 
eyes made him physically recoil. For once in her life she was truly 
thankful for her Ice Queen reputation.
	
	The doors closed and she let out a long breath. She felt the 
elevator begin its slow decent and used the time wondering how Mulder 
was truly coping with the news of his sister's death. His show of 
bravado in Skinner's office had been for their bosses' benefit, she 
was sure of that. Deep down she had known that no matter how hard he 
tried to deny the words that had been spoken, a part of him had 
somehow known that it was the truth.
	
	The elevator came to an abrupt halt, jarring both her thoughts 
and her body as it shuddered to a stop. She stepped out into the 
gloomy long corridor that served as the entrance hall to their 
office. As she passed the claustrophobic rows of cardboard boxes that 
lined the walls, she couldn't help the flash of memory that assaulted 
her from five years ago.
	
	The very first time she had dared venture down into the bowels 
of the FBI building was to meet her new partner. It hadn't been an 
auspicious occasion. She was somewhat stunned to have been given, 
what was in her opinion at the time, a sideways or even downward 
assignment. Her mood hadn't improved when she had stepped off of the 
elevator and took in the surroundings of her new home.
	
	It was unbelievable. After five long years of working in this 
cramped, dull, working environment; with its almost prehistoric 
amenities, she had to admit that she had grown fond of it.
	
	There was certainly something to be said for 'Spooky and Mrs. 
Spooky's' dungeon.
	
	She passed the office bearing Mulder's nameplate and gave it a 
quick glance. She still hadn't managed to nag Mulder enough to get 
her name affixed to the door. Although she had to admit she did now 
have her own desk, complete with desk lamp, pencil holder and a small 
brass nameplate stating her title and name.
	
	*I guess I can wait another five years for the door,* she 
silently mused to herself as she headed away from the office and 
continued down the poorly lit corridor.
	
	A dozen or so steps later and she stood outside the closed 
outer door of the Men's washroom.  She paused and looked up and down 
the corridor, knowing full well that it would be an X File in itself 
if she were to see another soul. Satisfied that nobody lurked in the 
shadows, she put the palm of her hand against the washroom door and 
pushed it open. With one last check that the coast was clear, she 
slipped inside and closed the door behind her.
	
	"Mulder..." Her inquiring voice was answered by the sounds of 
someone retching in one of the stalls to her right. She grimaced at 
the sound and forced herself to stand still, wanting to go to him, 
but knowing that he wouldn't want her to see him in a moment of 
weakness. He would be embarrassed enough just knowing that she had 
been a witness to his body's traitorous deeds.
	
	She closed her eyes and leaned back against the cool white 
tiles.  She forced her body to relax and wait him out.
	
	"You know..." she said after a few minutes, "I think I'll stop 
traipsing up three flights of stairs to go to the ladies room and use 
this one instead."
	
	The lock on the far stall door slid open and Mulder emerged.  
He looked pale and sweaty, he moved to the washbasin and ran the 
water, scooping it up in his hands and bathing his face with it. He 
reached out blindly for a paper towel to no avail. Scully crossed the 
room and grabbed a handful for him, shoving them into his wildly 
flaying hand and waiting for him to finish his ministrations.
	
	He screwed up the towels and deposited them into the waste 
basket.
	
	"You'd start wicked rumors about us, Scully, if you did that." 
He tried to smile, but it was a half-hearted effort at best.
	
	"Well there're enough wild rumors circulating about us anyway, 
Mulder, my sharing a bathroom with you would be very tame in 
comparison."
	
	"Really?" His eyes widened slightly, "So what are you supposed 
to be sharing with me?" Mulder asked, a truly devilish smile breaking 
across his lips.
	
	"You don't want to go there, Mulder." She replied sternly, but 
not without a slight flicker of amusement in her eyes.
	
	He shrugged at her and ran a hand through his hair. She didn't 
miss the noticeable tremor of his fingers as they slid through the 
silky brown strands.
	
	"Our plane leaves in less than an hour." She informed him. "I 
never thought I'd say this, but it's a good job we've taken to 
keeping a packed suitcase in the trunk of our cars. At least we don't 
have to go home."
	
	"I'm not going." Mulder stated flatly.
	
	"What!?" she asked, her right eyebrow arching to her hairline, 
"But you have to go. She's your sister."
	
	"Is she?" he retorted. He placed his hands on his hips and 
locked eyes with her. "I haven't changed my mind about it being a 
hoax. They want me to believe it's her..." he paused, his eyes slid 
away from hers and he gazed instead at the soap dispenser over her 
shoulder. "Well I'm not going to."
	
	"What if you're wrong?" she asked him. Before he could answer 
she closed the distance between them and placed her hand on his arm. 

	"What if it is her? You can't just ignore this lead because 
it's something you don't want to hear. You owe it to her memory to 
make sure..."
	
	"Stop talking about her as though she's dead!" he snapped, and 
shrugged her hand away from his forearm. He stepped back from her and 
shook his head in what looked like disappointment. "I never thought 
you would buy into their lie."
	
	"I haven't, Mulder, but there's a body of a little girl up in 
Chilmark that needs to find some peace." She saw him flinch at her 
words, "Whether you're her brother or not, she needs to be laid to 
rest and those responsible for her death need to be brought to 
justice."
	
	"You still believe in *justice?*" His voice betrayed his own 
feelings regarding that subject. Justice was something he had given 
up on long ago. After the death of her sister, he had thought Scully 
had given up on it too.
	
	"Among other things." she replied enigmatically, and he 
couldn't help wondering about the nature of the other things that she 
put her belief in.
	
	"Do you believe it's Samantha?" His voice was low and it caught 
upon the last syllable of his sister's name.
	
	*How do I answer that?* she asked herself. *If I say yes I'll 
shatter what's left of his heart, but if I refute the claim and agree 
with him, then I'll be giving him false hope.* And the last thing he 
needed right now was false hope.

	"I believe...," she hesitated, still not knowing what to say.  
She could feel his eyes burrowing into her like a couple of hot 
coals, he was literally hanging on her every word, wanting her to 
give him an out.  She sighed, a little in frustration and a little in 
resignation, "I believe that there are enough similarities to warrant 
further investigation."
	
	*When in doubt, Dana, fall back on tried and tested 
investigative techniques,* her mind supplied sarcastically.
	
	Mulder appeared to sag in front of her. Rolling backward and 
forward on the balls of his feet. His face showed a thousand emotions 
as he fought his instinct to run away from this case as fast as his 
feet could carry him.

	"I can't do this!" he finally said, looking up from the floor 
and meeting her eyes.

	Scully's hand once again found his arm and gave it a gentle 
squeeze, "Yes, you can. You have to, Mulder, for that little girl's 
sake."

	They stared at each other for a long moment, taking strength 
from each other. Mulder looked away first and turned toward the 
mirror hanging over the sink. Giving his reflection a once over, he 
straightened his tie and ran a hand through his hair, trying to make 
it conform to a semblance of tidiness. When he was satisfied he 
turned back to face his partner, a little of his composure back in 
place.

	"Let's go, Scully, we've got a plane to catch."

	They left the washroom together, not caring whether anyone saw 
them and jumped to conclusions or not. Briefly they stopped in their 
office to collect a few files and Scully's laptop, then without 
another word they left for their flight to Boston.

Scully couldn't shake the cold coils of dread that began to 
seep into her bones. If the body in Chilmark did turn out to be 
Mulder's sister, how would he react to the situation? She couldn't 
forget Skinner's words from earlier either, that if the Consortium 
were behind this belated closure of a twenty-five year old mystery it 
was for a reason. For their own personal gain.

She made a vow to herself on the way out to the airport. She 
was going to shield Mulder from as much pain on this case as she 
could. If she could, if he would let her. And if the Consortium were 
using this as a sick means of getting rid of him, she vowed that they 
would have to go through her first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chilmark Road
Martha's Vineyard, MA.

It had started raining. It seemed appropriate somehow that the 
sky should decide to participate in the somber events that were 
playing out this day. The slight misty drizzle that had enshrouded 
the Bureau car as it pulled away from the airport earlier had now 
become an insistent deluge.

Scully watched the wiper blades trying valiantly to wipe away 
the spray kicked up by the highway as their car made its slow, steady 
progress toward the site where the body had been uncovered. The wiper 
blades put up a heroic struggle, but the force of the water hitting 
the windshield and its accompanying gusts of wind won out in the end.

The young field agent that had been assigned as their driver 
slowed the car down to a steady crawl and tried to squint through the 
rivulets of water. When it became apparent that neither the weather, 
nor the vehicle in which they were travelling, were making much 
progress, he decided to pull over onto the shoulder and wait the 
storm out. He stopped the car and shut off the engine. Turning in his 
seat he peered over his shoulder at the two agents that had become 
his charges and wondered what was so important that they had needed a 
chaperone.

"So," he said idly, scratching the side of his small nose with 
his index finger, "what brings two of the Bureau's top guns to the 
vineyard?"

Mulder eyed him suspiciously. That in itself was nothing new, 
anyone that he didn't know instantly became a victim of his paranoia.  
He had learned by cruel and harsh methods that in order to survive he 
had to trust no one.

No one except Scully.

The eager face of the young agent staring back at him reminded 
him of himself not long after his graduation from the academy. He did 
a quick mental profile of his companion and decided that it was 
probably a good bet that Agent Daniel McConnel had graduated from the 
Academy within the last six months. No experienced agent would have 
belittled themselves by becoming the designated driver for a couple 
of Feds from headquarters. That sort of detail was always left to 
'newbees,' and Agent McConnel had newbee written all over his boyish 
face.
	
"Top guns?" Scully asked, as she raised her hand and used 
the sleeve of her trenchcoat to wipe the steam from their 
intermingled breaths from her side window. It made little, if any, 
improvement.  The difference between inside and outside temperature 
only served to re-steam the interior almost immediately. She sighed 
and turned back to face the agent staring at Mulder in wide-eyed awe.

"We're not 'top guns,' Agent McConnel, just a couple of grunts 
doing their jobs." She hoped her use of military jargon would 
distract the young agent from his obvious adoration of her partner.  
Spooky's reputation had obviously struck again and the last thing he 
needed right now was a young and naive newbee asking details about 
the present case they were working on and its connection to the 
division of the Bureau that had been cruelly dubbed, 'The Spooky 
Patrol.'

"Grunts?" Agent McConnel echoed, his eyes narrowing in 
confusion, "What's a grunt?"

Scully smiled.  She must be getting old and the Bureau must be 
getting soft if the newbees of today hadn't heard of the word 'GRUNT' 
during their initiation at Marine barracks Quantico. During her 
period of training, the word had become like an extension to her 
name. All the instructors had used that term when referring to the 
new intake, she had disliked it at first, but after the first couple 
of weeks it had grown on her.
	
Probably, she considered, because she spent most of that time 
doing just the thing the word so adequately described. She had 
grunted her way through the assault course, the ten-mile hike and the 
hand to hand combat sessions.
	
"We're nothing special, Agent McConnel. Just a couple of field 
agents going about their business." she reiterated.
	
"Yeah!" Agent McConnel, replied, his disbelief obvious in his 
tone of voice, "Sure, whatever you say, Agent Scully." Realizing that 
he wasn't going to get an answer to his question, and in turn no 
twenty bucks from the field office in Boston, he turned back around 
in his seat and stared contemplatively at the fogged up windshield.  

He moved his hand to the air conditioning unit and turned the 
dial to high. Cold air filled the cabin of the car and he shivered. 
Oh well, let the Prima Dona's in the back freeze a little, it didn't 
matter to him.
	
Mulder shifted in his seat and pulled his trenchcoat further 
around his body. This assignment had him feeling as though he were 
being pulled apart. By accepting it, he had provisionally agreed that 
the body found in Chilmark could be that of his sister. That 
acceptance had made him feel as though he were letting his sister 
down... that he were somehow giving up on ever finding her again.
	
That thought didn't sit comfortably upon Fox Mulder's psyche.

He had vowed never to give up looking for her. Not until she 
was found...  Not until he had her safely back again.

*But what if the report was right?* A little voice in his head 
queried, *What if the body you're heading toward is that of your 
sister, Mulder?  What then?*
	
He shook the thought away with a visible shake of his head. He 
felt a warm weight upon his arm and he didn't need to check to know 
that it would be Scully's hand. He checked anyway and sure enough 
there it was, resting comfortably upon his forearm, filling him with 
strength and reassurance. He allowed his free hand to slide over hers 
and gave it a gentle squeeze, thanking her for once again knowing how 
to break up his gloomy and melancholy mood.

"You okay?" she whispered against his ear, mindful to the 
presence of the other agent in the car.

"No, not really," he replied, "but I'll survive."

"Make sure you do, G-man," she responded with a small smirk, "I 
don't feel like breaking in Agent Newbee over there as my new 
partner."

He gave her a small upturned smile of his own. "I don't recall 
you ever 'breaking' me in, Scully?" He gave her a friendly leer at 
his innuendo.

She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance, but was thankful that he 
had at least tried to banter with her. Even if the effort was half 
hearted and didn't come anywhere near his usual standard of off 
colored remarks.

"One of these days, Mulder, I'm gonna take you up on your offer 
and scare the shit out of you," she whispered slowly in his ear 
before quickly pulling away and looking out the now clear side 
window.
	
*Why do you think I try so hard,* his mental voice silently 
replied, *I live for that day, Dana Katherine.*
	
The rain had subsided and Agent McConnel decided it was time to 
go. He restarted the engine and pulled away from the shoulder. He 
glanced in the rear view mirror at the two agents in the back seat 
and noticed that they were holding hands. He furrowed his brows and a 
small grin crossed his boyish face.

Maybe he could still claim that twenty bucks after all...

*********************************************************************

McAlpine Construction Site
South West of Chilmark, MA

	The ground all around the excavation site was wet and slippery 
after the earlier storm. The police liaison, Lt. Phil Caffrey, led 
Mulder and Scully toward the taped off area. Agent McConnel had been 
told, as diplomatically as possible, that his services were not 
required at the crime scene. This had not gone down well with the 
young agent and it was obvious that he was displeased with the whole 
deal by the sulky way in which he had gotten back into the Bureau car 
to wait for them.

	"As you already know the body was taken to the local morgue." 
Caffrey stated as they trudged across the field. Mulder nodded 
somberly, fighting to keep the rising tension within his body from 
being noticeably visible.

	"We just need to take a look around the area where the body was 
discovered. Sometimes crime scene photographs aren't enough to go 
on." Scully informed the plain-clothes detective who nodded in 
understanding. It wasn't clear to Scully whether the detective had 
been briefed as to Mulder's role in the investigation. He hadn't 
seemed to make any link between the supposed identity of the dead 
body with that of her partner.

	She had every intention of keeping it that way.

	Idle earthmovers, with their large gaping jaws hanging empty, 
stood sentry over the open grave. The bright yellow crime scene tape 
fluttered in the strong breeze. The detective pulled it up and the 
three investigators ducked under it and gathered around the 
gravesite.

	Mulder hunkered down on his haunches and ran a open hand around 
the edges of the grave. It looked so small, too small to be the last 
resting place of a girl, who when alive, seemed much larger than 
life. His mind flashed him a mental picture of Samantha with her 
braided long brown hair and her large hazel eyes staring at him in 
deathly silence.
	
	He gasped at the image and shut his eyes tightly to ward 
it off. He swayed on the balls of his feet toward the open grave and 
for a moment he thought he might topple into it. At the last minute 
he regained his balance, along with a decent amount of his previously 
lost composure, and mentally pulled himself back from the abyss.

	He grasped a handful of the clotted earth and played with it in 
his hands, waiting for his still thundering heart to settle. His mind 
tried to get back on track, anything to rid him of the vision that he 
had so clearly seen staring at him from that deep dark place.

	He hadn't read the casefile. He had refused to, even though 
Skinner had sent it by messenger to the airport so that it was 
waiting for them when they had arrived for their flight.

	He still didn't know why he had done that. It was so unlike 
him. Usually he was the first to dive headlong into a casefile, 
looking for the overlooked or obscure clue that would lead them to 
the first step in hunting the prey that they were looking for.

	This time he had been quite content to let Scully handle that 
side of things. He had even noticed that she had seemed almost 
relieved that he did. He couldn't be sure, but he was pretty certain 
that he had heard her make an audible sigh of relief when she had 
turned one of the pages in the file as she was reading it on the 
flight out. He didn't know why she had done it, but she had visibly 
relaxed after that and had even left the file out where he could have 
picked it up and read it had he wanted too.

	It was almost as if something that she had possibly viewed 
earlier, in Skinner's office, had been thankfully missing. 

	It had nearly been enough to evoke Mulder's curiosity. Almost, 
but not quite.

	He stared into the gaping hole before him and tried to rein in 
his tattered thoughts. He had to try and view this as a normal crime 
scene and all thoughts as to who the victim may be had to be banished 
from his mind.

	"How was she killed?" He finally managed to ask the question 
that had been gnawing at him since the conversation in the A.D.'s 
office earlier that day. He looked up at his partner with hooded eyes 
and avoided the rather curious look that was being sent in his 
direction by the detective.

	Scully thumbed through the file in her hand and read from the 
Medical Examiner's report. "The M.E. states that 'death occurred due 
to blunt force trauma to the cranium,'" she announced in her best 
pathologist's voice. "It would appear that one blow was all it took 
to fracture the skull and cause enough trauma to rupture the 
cerebellum."

	She closed the file, keeping her thumb inside the folder to 
mark her place. She looked into Mulder's sorrow-filled hazel eyes and 
her heart clenched in her chest. She was certain that he was becoming 
more convinced that the body was that of Samantha. She didn't know 
how, but his instincts were now telling him, no matter how hard he 
still tried to deny it, that the girl murdered and buried in this 
small shallow grave was the little girl who had unwittingly mapped 
out the life path of the tortured man in front of her.
	
	Mulder took a deep breath and swallowed hard. His Adam's apple 
bobbed up and down at his effort to keep his meager airline lunch 
from being regurgitated all over the crime scene. His mind was 
flashing now with a thousand different possibilities as to the 
perpetrator of this crime. His eyes still locked on that of his small 
auburn-haired partner, he asked the other question to which he needed 
an answer.
	
	"Was there a fabric heart missing, Scully?" It took all that 
was left of his failing resolve to get the question out without his 
voice breaking or trembling.
	
	Scully's eyes widened perceptively. *Oh dear Lord, Roche....* 
Her mind supplied a mental image of the sick bastard that had played 
such hideous mind games at Mulder's expense. The tall pedophile with 
the soft voice and the icy stare that had nearly destroyed Mulder's 
career, let alone his sanity. Even now, nearly a year since Mulder 
had put a bullet in his head, Roche was still haunting him.  Teasing 
him with the knowledge that this victim, albeit Samantha or not, 
could be the owner of the last small fabric heart that Mulder kept 
locked away in his desk drawer.

	"Fabric heart?" The detective repeated at Scully's side but she 
didn't hear him. Her eyes were locked with Mulder's, his haunted 
stare awaiting her answer as though his life depended upon it.

	She shook her head slowly from side to side, her auburn hair 
swirling over her shoulders, "It's not the same M.O., Mulder. It's 
not Roche."

	"Roche?" The detective repeated a little annoyed to be left out 
of the obvious meaningful conversation taking place between the two 
FBI agents.

	Scully broke contact with Mulder's eyes and tore open the file.  
She quickly glanced down at the typed sheets of paper, scanning them 
for any sign of Roche's 'Modus Operandi.' There wasn't any and there 
was no mention of any fabric heart being cut from the victim's 
clothing either.
	
	"Nothing was missing from the victims clothing, it was intact 
when the body was found." She searched out his eyes with her own and 
noticed the anxiety that was there previously slowly fade away.  His 
eyes closed for a brief second before reopening and focusing on hers.  
He nodded his head slowly.
	
	"You're right, Scully, this couldn't be Roche. It's not his 
style." He threw the piece of clotted earth into the grave and dusted 
off his hands. Then standing gingerly he took a few steps and stood 
by Scully's side. Hesitantly he reached his fingers over toward the 
file in her hand.

	Knowing what he wanted, but still unsure whether in the long 
run it would be in his best interest, she reluctantly handed the file 
over 
to him.

	He scanned it quickly, searching for any evidence or clue that 
would be enough to get him inside the head of the murderer. He 
browsed the pages at least three times before shutting the file and 
slapping it against his thigh in agitation.

	"There's something missing." He said to nobody in particular.
Scully's mouth went dry and she hastily looked away. How did he 
know? How could he be so attuned, that he could pick up so easily if 
something was off kilter?

	"Something's just not..." he hesitated as though he were 
reaching in his mind for the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle, "I 
can't quite grasp it... but something is definitely missing."

Scully felt her cheeks redden and she silently cursed both her 
fair complexion and her boss. All right, so maybe Skinner was right 
when he had decided to not include a certain piece of the report she 
had read earlier, from the version that Mulder now had in his hand.  
She'd admit that when she saw that it was missing as she read the 
file on the plane she had been relieved.

When she had turned that page knowing what she was going to 
find there, only to find it missing, she was sure that she had 
audibly sighed her relief. Instead of the stark white sheet of paper 
with the Medical Examiner's autopsy findings written upon it, there 
was another stark white sheet of paper with a large segment relating 
to said autopsy that was missing. A post it note was attached to the 
top of the sheet. Obviously Skinner had realized that Scully would 
probably get to the file before Mulder.
	
'I leave this unsavory element of the case to your discretion, 
Agent Scully.  Do as you see fit.  If this is Samantha Mulder, then I 
leave it up to you to decide whether you feel, as his friend, your 
partner is up to this disclosure.  Otherwise, some things are best 
left unsaid. -Skinner.'

He had put her in an unenviable position. Knowing Mulder's 
almost obsessiveness with trust, any non disclosure, no matter how 
good the intentions were, would be seen by him as a betrayal of that 
trust. He would see it as her siding with Skinner and therefore 
possibly with the Consortium against him. Although that notion was 
preposterous, she knew that he would perceive it no other way.
On the other hand, how would his knowledge of the missing 
pieces of the report affect him?  How much more could he take?

"I've seen enough here," Mulder's voice broke into her 
thoughts, "I want to go to the morgue and see the remains." His voice 
was clear, crisp and full of purpose. She wondered if he had 
convinced himself yet again that it couldn't possibly be Samantha 
after all, or whether it was another attempt at covering up his true 
feelings from both her and the detective that was standing beside 
them.

She turned back to see the retreating figure of Fox Mulder 
making his way through the slippery sludge toward the Bureau car and 
'Agent Newbee.' Scully took a second to look one last time at the 
small grave, then she pivoted on her heel and slowly sauntered after 
him and the detective. Glancing up at the leaden sky, she gave up a 
small prayer to a God she had almost given up faith in.

*Just give me the strength to know and do what's right. That's 
all I ask.*
	
She continued toward the car and after thanking the detective 
for both his time and input, she settled once again in the backseat 
of the car, next to her partner. Agent McConnel seemingly over his 
fit of pique at being left out, started the engine and silently 
pulled away.
	
As they left the crime scene and headed toward Chilmark proper 
and the small office of the Medical Examiner, it began to rain again.  
The raindrops bounced off of the hood of the car making loud audible 
plops as they steadily fell harder and harder.
	
Mulder and Scully paid no attention to the cacophony of sound 
coming from the rain outside, they were lost in their own thoughts.
	
The dark Bureau car slowly made its way toward the city limits, 
the Medical Examiners office and the recovered body of a lost little 
girl.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~


Offices of the Medical Examiner
Chilmark, MA

	Dr Benjamin Nolan was out on a call by the time that the agents 
arrived at his office.  This call unlike the previous one a couple of 
days ago was not thought to be anything untoward.  A businessman had 
been found in his fume-filled car, an apparent suicide.  The Medical 
Examiner had left a message that he wouldn't be long, but that the 
agents from Washington could start their investigation without him as 
much of what he could tell them was already typed up in his report.

	Scully had mentally sighed her relief at the M.E.'s absence.  
Again it forwarded her the opportunity to side-step the issue of the 
missing data in the file. If the M.E. had inadvertently mentioned the 
missing chunk of information, she would have found it impossible to 
keep the nature of the missing segment from her partner. And Scully 
was convinced that at this moment in time, Mulder wouldn't be able to 
cope with the added stress that missing segment would put him under.

	Accompanied by the Medical Examiner's assistant, they made 
their way to the morgue and the awaiting body. She noticed that as 
they entered the mortuary it was in darkness, as black as the grave 
itself, then suddenly the lights flickered on without the need of the 
assistant touching them.  It took her a few minutes to realize that 
the door had triggered some kind of sensor that automatically 
switched the light on when somebody walked into the room.  It was 
obviously some kind of cost effective measure to stop the wastage 
that was caused when lighting was kept on when not needed.

Although an interesting concept, it only added to the already 
creepy feel to the mortuary.

The assistant walked over to the bank of stainless steel 
refrigerator doors. It hadn't really been necessary to keep the body 
refrigerated since it was only the skeletal remains that had been 
found, but the small morgue had nowhere else to store the body, so it 
had been decided that the refrigeration unit was the best bet in the 
circumstances.

The assistant paused at one of the doors, his hand grabbed the 
handle and he turned toward the two awaiting FBI agents.  It was 
Scully who nodded for him to pull the drawer open, which he did with 
the minimum of effort.  The door slid open on well oiled tracks 
revealing what looked to be a small mass covered by a thin white 
sheet.

Scully heard Mulder take a sharp intake of breath as the 
assistant made to uncover the remains.

"That will be all Mr. Stanmore, I think my partner and I can 
take it from here." She smiled her thanks at the young assistant.  He 
returned her gesture before moving off toward the door leading out of 
the mortuary. A few seconds later they were totally alone.

"Thanks, Scully," Mulder said and he let out a long held 
breath. His hands reached out and gripped the shiny sides of the 
drawer, his head bowed and he took a couple of deep lung filling 
breaths to steady himself.

"Would you prefer it if I..." Scully began.

"No, I have to see her for mys..." he broke off his sentence 
and she saw him close his eyes tightly, fighting his self control.  
His hands turned white as he increased his grip on the sides of the 
metal drawer, the metal digging into his palms until it hurt.  His 
eyes snapped open and he caught her concerned look, "What I mean 
is...  I have to see the *victim's* body myself before I can come up 
with a profile for the murderer."

Scully nodded her understanding, allowing him one last moment 
of denial.  Tentatively she reached out her hand to take hold of the 
sheet covering the body.  As her fingers curled around the top of the 
sheet, they were joined by Mulder's, and together they tugged the 
piece of fabric off of the remains of the victim.

The room became deathly quiet as only the sounds of the two 
agents breathing filled the air.  Scully glanced across at Mulder to 
see his reaction to the now uncovered body. His face looked calm and 
collected almost noncommittal as he stared down at the body. It was 
almost as if he were viewing any other victim of a violent end.

Almost.

Scully studied his eyes and what she saw there hurt her more 
than anything she had witnessed in the last five years of her 
partnership with Mulder.

Acknowledgement.

She saw acknowledgement written in the depths of his hazel 
eyes. An acknowledgement that his search was over and that his quest 
had come to an end.

Fox Mulder's eyes filled with tears as he continued to stare 
down at the body in front of him. He paid no attention as his eyes 
overflowed their anguish and the tears steadily ran down his cheeks 
to accumulate at his chin and drip onto the clean stainless steel 
surface of the mortuary drawer.

His right hand gingerly made its way to the healed left 
collarbone. His fingers reached out and softly caressed the bone with 
loving tender strokes. His hand didn't shake, nor his fingers as they 
moved up and down and over and over the area.

Mulder's body began to heave with the pent up emotions he was 
trying so desperately to hold inside of him. His tears refused to 
abate, instead they flowed incessantly down his now flushed face. His 
nose ran uncontrollably and he found it hard to breathe through it.  
He opened his mouth to gulp in air and a choked sob escaped from him 
to echo around the empty room.

That first lonely sob was like a dam breaking inside of him and 
he couldn't have held back the rest even if he had tried. His body 
began to shake, his chest heaved with his efforts to get some air 
into his starved lungs. His vision began to become fuzzy and blurred 
and his ears were ringing. The rushing sound in his head was so loud 
that he was only vaguely aware of Scully uttering something, possibly 
his name, but he couldn't be sure.

His legs couldn't hold his weight any longer and he fell to his 
knees, bruising them as they hit the hard concrete tiling of the 
mortuary floor. He felt himself falling forward and he didn't try to 
resist the impulse for his head to just make contact with the floor 
and the awaiting oblivion he would find there.

He was saved by Scully who had rushed around from her side of 
the drawer as his legs had begun to give way. She took the full force 
of the fall of his now limp body, struggling to keep both herself and 
her partner from crashing to the floor. She managed to snake an arm 
around his waist to hoist him to his feet. He leaned into her small 
frame, nearly toppling them again before he somehow managed to get 
his feet temporarily under him and somewhat stable.

He heard Scully's muffled thanks as she shuffled them over 
toward a small desk chair. He half sat, half fell into the chair, his 
long legs sprawled out in front of him.

"Mulder!" He could hear Scully's voice, but it sounded so far 
away.  His vision was tunneling and he could feel himself falling 
toward the blackness once again. His eyes became heavy and he could 
feel them fluttering closed.

He suddenly felt a sharp stinging sensation to his left cheek, 
it was followed seconds later by another and then another. Finally, 
his eyes snapped open again.

"Mulder...  Damn-it!  Stay with me!" Scully's worried blue eyes 
gazed into his. "C'mon, Mulder, hang in there..." She raised her hand 
and slapped him across the face, trying to stun him into coherence.

"Scu...  llee.." Mulder mumbled.  His head lolled backward and 
forward on his shoulders. He seemed unable to carry out the simplest 
bodily function.

"I'm here, Mulder.  I'm *right here*."

"Stay..." He managed to get out between deep gulps of air.

"I'm not going anywhere. Mulder, try to regulate your 
breathing...  you're hyperventilating..."

He nodded slowly, understanding suddenly dawning on him. He had 
lost it.  He had spaced out and was now in the process of near 
unconsciousness due to too much oxygen in his bloodstream. He tried 
to take deep lung filling breaths, but it was easier said than done.  
His body wanted sharp, shallow breaths, but he knew that if he kept 
that up he would just pass out.

"Mulder... c'mon concentrate.	Deep breaths.  Take nice deep 
breaths." He could feel Scully's breath warm against his face, he 
opened his eyes and focused his attention upon her. She was taking 
deep breaths, trying to coax him into following her. Slowly he did 
so, inhaling and exhaling as she did and slowly he began to 
counteract the symptoms of the hyperventilation.
	
"That's it... that's it, Mulder, you're doing fine." There was 
relief in Scully's voice. Her hand brushed against his sweaty 
forehead and pushed the bangs away from his face. He felt her fingers 
as they glided through his hair, over his skull to the base of his 
neck and around where they rested against the strong beating pulse 
there.
	
"Okay, that's better.  Your pulse is coming back under 
control." She allowed a small smile to grace her full lips, "Welcome 
back partner.  You scared the hell out me back there."
	
"Sorry," he said.  He could see the worry lines on her face and 
he knew that he had truly frightened her - and it took a *lot* to 
frighten his partner, "I don't remember losing control."
	
"It's okay. You're okay now," her cool fingers went back to his 
neck and felt the pulse again, "it's nearly back to normal.  Another 
couple of minutes and you'll be fine."
	
"Scully..."

"Hmmm..." she replied absently as she went about checking his 
status.

"It's her! It's Samantha!" His voice broke on the last syllable 
of her name.

Scully's bottom lip trembled and she bit it with her teeth to 
stop herself from succumbing to the emotion that she heard in 
Mulder's voice.  She nodded stiffly.
	
"I know..." her eyes locked with his, "I am so sorry, Mulder.  
God, I am so sorry." She stifled a sob, but couldn't stop a tear from 
breaking free and travelling down one pale cheek.

"I need you to do something for me?" Mulder said and he 
straightened in the old desk chair. His back stiffened as though he 
had found an extra ounce of resolve. He reached up and took a hold of 
Scully's shoulders. "I need to know for sure it's her. I know it is 
*here*," he touched his heart with his fingers, "but I need to know 
*here*," he touched his forehead with the same fingers.

"You want me to perform another DNA test, don't you?" Scully 
asked, already knowing the answer.
	
"Yes," he swallowed hard, "I can't be sure the test they did 
with the Bureau files was conclusive. I know I'm clutching at straws, 
Scully. I already know the outcome, but..."
	
"You'll only trust my analysis." She finished for him.
	
He nodded and then closed his eyes as the anguish threatened to 
fill him to breaking point again. A gentle shake on the shoulder 
opened his eyes.
	
"Will you be okay while I go fetch some medical supplies?" she 
asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine, just don't be too long."
	
"Be back before you know it." She smiled a sad smile in his 
direction.  Then she turned slowly and headed out the door.
	
As it swung closed behind her the room seemed ominously quite.  
Mulder shifted in the desk chair until he was comfortable that it was 
indeed holding his weight. His eyes suddenly fell onto the body lying 
on the slab across the room almost forgotten in the aftermath of his 
near collapse.
	
He stared at it for a long time, at least it felt that way to 
him. He knew he needed to say something to the little girl lying 
there. To somehow sum up how he felt after a quarter of a century of 
searching for her. He rose unsteadily to his feet and crossed the 
small distance. He stood over the body of his eight-year-old sister.  
Resignation had set in and with it a calmness that had been missing 
minutes earlier.
	
He reached out and brushed his fingertips along the skeletal 
hand of his long departed sister. He slowly bent his head and gently 
set his cheek against it. It felt cold and rough against his skin and 
it rasped against his stubble. He fought back a shudder and tears 
once again prickled against his sore and gritty eyes wanting release.
	
"Sam..." He started out unsteadily," I never gave up Sam...  
Never." he brushed his cheek against the hand again resisting the 
urge to kiss the bony fingers, "I kept looking... no matter what 
everyone said, I never gave up looking for you."
	
"You were my life, Sam.  You were my reason for living," his 
fingers tightened on the small bony hand, "I never expected to find 
you like this... I don't know what to do!"
	
A tear fell down his cheek and came to rest between his face 
and the skeletal hand, "Why did they take you, Sam?  Why you and not 
me?" He sobbed quietly, his shoulders quaking in the empty room, "It 
would have been so much better if they had taken me..."
	
He pulled the hand away from his face and returned it slowly 
and gently once more to the cold stainless steel table. He wiped his 
tears from his eyes and sniffed.
	
"Goodbye, Samantha." He took in a shuddering breath, "I always 
loved you. I always will."
	
He broke into renewed sobs, hugging himself around the waist 
trying desperately to make the pain and the hurt go away. As he 
hugged himself, he didn't notice the door to the mortuary swing 
silently closed behind him as Scully quietly slipped back through the 
door she'd just entered.
	
On one side of a door, a man cried for the loss of his sister.  
A loss that had taken a toll upon his own tortured life. Twenty-five 
years of searching for a life that had already been taken and could 
never be replaced.  Fox Mulder let the grief and torment seep from 
his body wondering as he did so whether there would be anything of 
him left afterwards to salvage.
	
On the other side of the door, in a corridor filled with 
medical equipment, Dana Scully stood leaning against the wall. She 
clutched a small medical kit against her chest, as she finally 
allowed her own tears to cascade down her face.

Unabated.

Unashamed.

Dana Scully's tears were for the man on the other side of the door. 
For a man who had endured more in his thirty-seven years than any man 
should have to go through in any lifetime. And still his torment 
wasn't over... even if he may have thought so... in that room beyond 
as he let out his grief.  For she knew one more secret regarding the 
body of the girl in that room and it was a secret that filled her 
both with fear and dread.
	
It was up to her to decide whether or not that secret needed 
telling. Whether the already tortured soul of Fox Mulder could 
withstand another onslaught or whether the secret she bore inside her 
would be enough to send him irrevocably over the edge into insanity.

*********************************************************************

Teena Mulder's Residence
Greenwich, Connecticut
00:51 A.M.

	The drive had been a long and almost silent one. Mulder had 
fallen into a fitful sleep almost an hour earlier. Only the sounds of 
his heavy breathing, punctuated occasionally by a muffled cry or sob 
had kept Scully company on the long drawn out drive to Connecticut.
	
	She still harbored grave misgivings about Mulder seeing his 
mother. She was sure that he still hadn't grasped the full impact of 
the days events. Yet stubbornly he had told her that it was his duty 
to inform his mother of her daughter's demise. Scully had wanted him 
to at least wait until the morning to deliver the news, that way he 
would do so after getting a little sleep. But he had been insistent 
and had overruled her anxious plea.
	
	A soft whimper cut through the silence in the cabin and she 
glanced across at her partner as he began to shift uncomfortably in 
his seat.
	
	"Samantha!" It was nothing more than a strangled sob as though 
even in sleep he were trying to deny himself the truth about his 
sister. Scully's hand moved to brush away the lock of stubborn hair 
that fell across his forehead, but at the last second she resisted 
the temptation and withdrew her hand.
	
	Instead she used it to rub at her tired eyes and stared out the 
windshield at the two-story house in front of her. It was mainly in 
darkness save for a light that shone dimly through drawn curtains in 
the front bedroom. She glanced at her watch, it was way past 
midnight. She fought with the urge to restart the car, find a hotel 
room and come back in the morning.
	
	Dana Scully wished fervently that her analysis of the remains 
earlier that day had refuted that of Dr. Nolan. But there hadn't been 
one single piece of evidence that had contradicted that of the 
Medical Examiner. Scully's mind wandered back to a few hours 
previously.
	
	<<< For the better part of four hours, Scully ran test 
after test to confirm beyond any doubt that the remains lying upon 
that cold, shiny, stainless steel table were that of Samantha Mulder.  
She had taken a fresh blood sample from Mulder upon her return to the 
room. He had been subdued and withdrawn, watching silently as she 
took a vial of deep, rich blood from his right forearm.

	He had walked out of the lab then and gone to wait in the 
doctor's small tidy office. Scully had set to work at once running 
every test that she knew of, and a few she made up, to ascertain the 
true identity of the small broken child. Not trusting the Bureau 
work-up of Mulder's bloodwork or his DNA profile she had started 
again from scratch, knowing that at least that way she would be one 
hundred percent sure that the results hadn't been tampered with.

	In the end, her precaution had served little purpose. There had 
been no doubt as to the identity of the little girl. Scully had 
slumped back into her seat by the microscope and had let out a sigh 
of resignation. There was nothing else left that she could think of.  
She had exhausted all avenues of investigation, her scientific 
fountain of knowledge had been tapped until it was bone dry.

	Taking off her glasses and throwing them onto the workbench 
before her, she had rubbed her temples with her fingers as she 
contemplated telling Mulder the news. Although science had always 
been Scully's guiding light, she had wished that just this once it 
had been proven fallible.

	In the end she hadn't needed to go off in search of her partner 
for he had come to her.

	"It's true then?" His voice broke her out of her thoughts and 
she spun around to find him standing just inside the doorway. His 
eyes were red and puffy and she was certain that he had spent his 
time away consoling himself in his grief.

	She rose from her seated position and walked toward him. There 
was no need for words, she knew that if her reluctant body language 
hadn't spoken volumes then the sadness in her eyes would have. As she 
reached him, she held out her arms and opened them, he almost fell 
into them as she embraced him. His body had shaken with renewed sobs 
and her mind flashed back to a hospital room in Rhode Island and the 
last time she had held him like this.

	Mulder'd sunk to his knees, taking her with him on the way and 
that's how they'd stayed for a long time. Scully kneeling on the cold 
tiled floor of the mortuary and cradling Mulder in her arms, offering 
him whatever comfort he could find in her small body. He'd clung to 
her like a child, his fingers bunching up her surgical scrubs in a 
vice-like grip.

	"Why, Scully?" He sobbed as he clutched her to him, "Why her?"

	"I don't know.  I wish to God I did, Mulder." She'd rocked him 
slowly back and forth, "It's going to be okay." she'd said soothingly 
as she'd allowed her fingers to run through his hair, "You are going 
to 
get through this. I'm going to help you. We're in this together, 
Mulder, don't ever forget that."

	He mumbled something incoherent as a reply and seemed to burrow 
himself even further into the confines of her body. She'd continued 
to rock him, whispering words of comfort and compassion. As she 
listened to his quiet sobs and felt the impact of his quivering and 
shaking body, a spark of pure anger filled Dana Scully's soul.

	The idea that someone, somewhere, had known of the location of 
Samantha's body and had deliberately withheld that information made 
her blood boil.  How could anyone do such a thing?  How could any 
organization think itself more important than the piece of mind of 
this anguished, tortured man?

	*Bastards!*  Scully thought to herself, *How dare they play 
with people's lives as though they were pieces on a chess board!* Her 
ire was slow to cool and she'd made a silent promise to the man lying 
spent and devastated in her arms, *They're going to pay, Mulder.  I 
promise you.  Those bastards are going to pay.*>>>

	"We're here?" Mulder's sleepy voice brought her out of her 
musings with a start, "How long have we been here?"

	She turned her head so that she could see him, "Not long," she 
whispered truthfully, "I was just about to wake you."

	His eyes shifted until they were looking at the house in front 
of him. He took in the light in the bedroom window and Scully noticed 
a shudder go through his body.

	"You know it's still not too late to do this in the morning.  I 
passed a hotel a few miles back, we could check out a couple of 
rooms.  Whaddaya say?"

	"If it were the one room...  I might take you up on it, 
Scully," he smiled faintly at his teasing.

	Scully contemplated going along with him, if it managed to get 
him to reconsider his actions tonight. Was it fair to wake his mother 
and deliver such devastating news? Then again if it were her in that 
position, she knew that, like Mulder, she would want to break the 
news to her mother as soon as possible.

	It had been one of the few things she had been spared when 
Melissa had died.

	Mulder took a deep breath and opened the passenger door. The 
cold night air rushed in taking his breath away. He looked across at 
his partner, "Better get this over with," With that show of bravado 
he pushed himself out of the car and slammed the door.

	Scully climbed out the drivers side and locked her door.  
Pulling her trench coat tightly around her to ward off the chill in 
the air, she followed sedately behind him. Climbing the steps to the 
front porch they came to a stop in front of the old oak panelled 
door. Mulder raised his hand to the bell pull and hesitated.

	"I don't know what to say to her, Scully." He confessed, "I 
always imagined this so differently...  not the bearer of bad news...  
but of good." He shook his head from side to side, "I never 
envisioned having to tell her that I couldn't bring her baby back...  
I always thought I would."

	Before Scully could reply, his hand came down upon the bell 
pull and he tugged it hard three times. Somewhere at the back of the 
house they heard the bell chime their arrival. A light came on in the 
hallway and they heard the sound of the deadbolts being thrown back. 
The door creaked open and stopped short upon the security chain. A 
grey-haired woman stared out at them.

"Fox?" Teena Mulder said in puzzlement, "What are you doing 
here so late?" Before he could answer, she pulled the security chain 
away from its housing and yanked open the door. The lighting from the 
hallway fell across her son's body and also that of his colleague 
whom she hadn't noticed before.

"Agent Scully, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." She pulled 
the door open fully and beckoned the two agents inside. Furrowing her 
brow in curiosity she closed the door behind them and re-locked it, 
"Fox, is there something wrong?"

Mulder gazed down into his mother's grey eyes, his hand tracing 
a line down her cheekbone. He was having difficulty finding the right 
words to say. Any that formed in his mind felt like poison to him. 
His heart clenched as he saw his mother's gaze turn more concerned as 
she watched his silent struggle.

"Mom, I need to tell you something," he took her hand in his 
and headed for the living room, switching on the light as he arrived 
there, "you need to sit down, Mom."

"Fox, what is it?  What's brought you out here in the middle of 
the night?"

"There's something I have to tell you... something..." he 
hesitated and ran a hand through his hair, damn-it he wasn't making 
this easy, "it has to do with Samantha."

His mother's eyes widened perceptively, "Oh goodness gracious." 
Her gaze locked with that of her son's and he squeezed her hand 
gently, "I think you better sit down, Mom."

Teena Mulder nodded once and sat down upon the plush floral 
couch. Mulder sank into the cushions next to her and gathered his 
mother into his arms. This blatant show of affection was obviously 
something that the Mulder family rarely displayed because his mother 
pulled away sharply.

She watched him suspiciously as though looking for signs of 
intoxication. That would be the only reason that he would have 
indulged in such a loss of composure. However, all she saw was a deep 
anguish in his hazel eyes. Teena chanced a quick look over at his 
partner and found almost the same look on her more guarded 
countenance.

Agent Scully was standing just inside the doorway to the living 
room, her dark trenchcoat open and her hands stuffed inside the 
pockets. Teena couldn't help noticing that the young female agent 
looked rather uncomfortable, as though she were trespassing on some 
private family event.

"Fox, are you here on business?" Her question was directed at 
her son, but her eyes never left Scully's, "Is that why Agent Scully 
is with you?"

"Mom..."

"Mulder, I think perhaps I should leave you alone." Scully 
turned quickly on her heel, deciding on heading for the kitchen. She 
felt as though she were intruding upon a family tragedy and she 
couldn't bear to see the look on Teena Mulder's face when Mulder 
finally told her what had brought them to her door this late at 
night.

"Don't go, Scully.  Please..." his soft plea stopped her in her 
tracks and she turned back around. Mulder was holding out his hand 
toward her. His mother looked even more confused than ever at her 
son's outward show of emotion toward his partner and pinned Scully 
with a withering look. Scully swallowed hard and walked over to her 
partner's outstretched hand. She curled her fingers around his and 
sat down next to him on the couch.

"Fox, what does this display have to do with Samantha?" His 
mother's tone was curt and was meant to convey her displeasure at her 
son's obvious lack of professionalism in the way that he handled 
himself around his partner, "What is this all about?"

Scully felt Mulder take a deep, lung-filling breath, his hand 
in hers trembled slightly and she squeezed it reassuringly. This was 
tearing her apart, she didn't dare think what it was doing to Mulder.

"Mom," he swallowed convulsively, "Mom, they found the remains 
of a body two days ago in Chilmark."

Teena Mulder's eyes went wide and her hand flew from her son's 
to her mouth in a effort to subdue the startled gasp that threatened 
to escape. Her face remained a pristine mask of control and composure 
and yet in her eyes Mulder could see the fear begin to rise to the 
surface.

"It was a little girl, Mom," he knew he was trying to soften 
the blow, but he wished he had the damn nerve to just come out with 
it, instead of building this up into the tragic climax he knew it 
would become, "her details matched those that I posted with missing 
per..."

"No!" Teena Mulder shook her head emphatically, "I do not wish 
to listen to this any further!" She narrowed her grey eyes as she 
looked at her son, "if you think for one moment that you can ask me 
to identify this unfortunate child... you have come a long way for 
nothing."

Scully found herself shrinking back at the sound of the iciness 
in Mrs. Mulder's tone. She sounded so cold. So detached.

"I've already identified the body, Mom." Mulder's voice was 
barely a whisper and his grip on Scully's hand increased tenfold, 
causing her to bite down on her lower lip to negate the pain.

"Fox, why are you doing this?" Teena stood up from the couch 
and looked down at her son, "You can't expect me to go along with 
this."

"Mom, it's her! I wish to God it wasn't, but it is.... it's 
Samantha."

"How dare you!" Her voice trembled, "How dare you come here at 
this late hour and say such hurtful things."

"It's the truth, Mom!" Mulder's voice cracked and tears welled 
up and fell down his cheeks,"I'm sorry...  I'm sorry...  I'm sorry, 
Mom."

"You're sorry!" Teena's features were now carved in stone. "You 
come to me with some preposterous story that your sister's dead... 
and you're sorry. " She waved a hand in the air,"What ever happened 
to 
your pledge, Fox?  Are you shirking from your responsibilities? Your 
father always said you would... you never had any intention of 
finding her, did you?"

"Mrs. Mulder, I think you are being unfair." Scully replied as 
Mulder sank into desperate sobs at Scully's side.

Mrs. Mulder ignored her comments, "Are you using this body in 
Chilmark to give up on your sister, Fox?  Is that it?"

"Now wait a minute..." Scully intervened, but to no avail.

"Mom...  please..." Mulder sobbed, "I'm sorry I didn't do it 
right.  I'm sorry I couldn't find her, Mom." His face was a mask of 
pain and suffering, his tears ran hotly down his cheeks, his 
breathing hitched as he tried to catch a breath, "I'm sorry I let 
them take her...  Oh, God, I'm sorry I let you and Dad down...." he 
crumbled in front of his mother, the last of his resolve deteriorated 
and he was left feeling naked and exposed.

"If you think I'm going to agree to this body as being that of 
my daughter, just so you can salve your conscience, Fox, you can 
forget it."

"My God!" Scully rose out of her seat and confronted Mrs. 
Mulder face to face" What the hell kind of a mother are you?"

"I beg your pardon?" Teena Mulder looked at the female agent 
with heated indignity.

"What kind of a mother does this to her son?" Scully couldn't 
believe the things she had seen and heard in this room tonight. She 
had been expecting something a whole lot different.  Grief.  Sorrow. 
An outpouring of emotion as only one would expect from a family in 
turmoil. What she had witnessed was something so alien to her own 
upbringing that it shook her to her core.

No wonder Mulder had begged for her support. Had he known that 
this would be the likely outcome of his revelation? Had his family 
always been this repressed with their feelings? Had they always been 
in constant denial?

Had he always been made to feel as though he was the sole 
person responsible for his sister's disappearance?  Was it that and 
that alone that had fuelled his drive all these years? Had his 
parents made him feel so responsible for Samantha's abduction, that 
it was that guilt that made him devote his life to making amends?

Not to Samantha.

Not to himself.

But to them...
	
*Nobody talked about it, it tore my family apart,* Mulder's 
words from their first case echoed in her mind.  *Sure nobody talked 
about it, Mulder, but it's been made more than obvious to me who they 
held to blame,*  Scully thought as she stared angrily at the grey-
haired woman in front of her.

"How can you do the things I've just witnessed?  Are you so 
shut off, that you can't afford to give your surviving child any 
modicum of comfort."

"This is between my son and me, and I'll thank you to stay out 
of our business, Agent Scully!" Teena Mulder wrapped her dressing 
gown around her slender figure and brushed back a loose strand of 
hair, "You have no idea how this family works and I'll remind you 
that you are a guest in this house."

"I may not know how this family works, Mrs. Mulder, but I'm 
getting more and more enlightened by the second." Scully drew herself 
up to her full height, "Did you know that your son has had to endure 
a day of immense sorrow and grief. That he had to visit the scene 
where his sister's body was found in a small, shallow grave."

"Stop it! " Mrs. Mulder's voice rose sharply.

"After that he had to go along to the morgue and identify the 
remains of a young girl as that of his sister!" Scully noticed Mrs. 
Mulder go white at the mention of this and begin to shake her head 
frantically from side to side.  There was no way now that Scully was 
going to let this sorry excuse for a mother off the hook.  Mulder had 
tried to break the news gently, well she had now decided that one way 
or another Teena Mulder was going to hear each and ever sorry detail 
that made up the demise of her daughter.

The Scully way...

"She died from a blow to the head. A single, hard blow to the 
back of the head to be precise. It ruptured the cerebellum. Do you 
know what happens when that occurs Mrs. Mulder?"

"Don't." Mrs. Mulder pleaded, but her plea went unanswered.

"It causes blood to flood into the cranium, the pressure...  
the pain... becomes so unbearable that the victim embraces 
unconsciousness. Eventually all messages from the brain to other 
vital organs cease and the body shuts down. The lungs forget to take 
in a breath, the heart stops beating, after a couple of minutes the 
body goes into cardiac arrest... and dies..."

"Stop this!  Stop this now!" Mrs. Mulder's hands gripped 
tightly into fists.

"Of course the type of blow that caused this type of damage 
would have to have been inflicted by an outside force.  She couldn't 
have done it accidentally, like falling and hitting her head, it was 
inflicted by someone else, possibly the person who abducted her.  The 
very same person who came into your house uninvited and snatched your 
baby away from her Tender. Loving. Family."

Those last words dripped with a venom that left Scully reeling.  
Never one to deliberately hurt others, she was finding this barrage 
against her partner's mother somewhat liberating.

"Scully...," she heard a warning sob off to her right, but 
chose to ignore it.

"Do you honestly think that your son would identify another 
child's body as that of his sister?  Are you that self absorbed that 
you can't see the pain that he suffers every God-damned day!"

"Scully..." the voice was getting more insistent.

"I confirmed the findings, Mrs. Mulder.  I ran all the tests.  
So if you're going to accuse your son of being a liar, you'll have to 
accuse me too.  It's your daughter lying in that mortuary... it's 
Samantha." Scully gave the woman standing before her a look of pure 
disgust. "Although if you're true to form, I'll doubt you'll cry any 
tears over her death."

Quick as lightning Teena Mulder raised her hand and struck 
Scully hard across the face," How dare you come into this house and 
treat me like this." Mrs. Mulder was trying to rally her defenses 
against Scully's well aimed attack, "What right do you have to treat 
me in such a way?"

"How dare *you* treat your son in such a degrading manner.  And 
to answer your earlier question, Mrs. Mulder, I have every right to 
interfere with your business, if it concerns the well being of my 
partner.  For the last five years *I've* been the one that's put him 
back together time and time again whenever his been lead down a path 
to a dead end.  *I've* had to listen to his constant nightmares, as 
he relives the night that she was taken.  It's been *me* who's nursed 
him back to health when those bastards, that *your* husband 
associated with, have left him half dead and bleeding out. 

And for what? Because he's gotten too close to the secrets they 
cherish so much!?  Where was his precious mother then?  Where was she 
when he needed her so much that he cried for her in his dreams?"

Mrs. Mulder gasped at this revelation from her son's angry 
partner.  Did he really still call out for her?  Was it true?

"Scully, stop it!" Mulder's voice had gotten stronger, "She 
doesn't need to hear this."

"For God's sake stop protecting her, Mulder!" Scully responded 
angrily, "It's about time she took on her responsibilities as a 
mother.  She's so quick to come down on you when she thinks you've 
failed as a brother... it's about time she had a taste of her own 
medicine, if you ask me it's way overdue."

"Fox, get this woman out of my house," Teena's eyes shone with a 
shimmer of anger that hadn't been there previously,"get her out of my 
house... now!"

"Come on, Scully." She felt his hand on her arm, but she 
shrugged it off.

"Your daughter was murdered, Mrs. Mulder.  Do you understand 
that? Murdered.  It probably happened around the time of the 
abduction.  She's been dead for twenty-four years."

"Nooooo!" Teena Mulder sank to the floor and hugged herself.  
Mulder fell to his knees next to her and pulled her into a tight 
embrace.  He looked up at his partner as he cradled his sobbing 
mother in his arms.

"Did you have to do that to her?  Damn-it!  Did you have to be 
so callous about it, Scully?"

Scully bit back a reply and closed her eyes.  Oh, God what had 
she done?  Maybe Mulder's mother had been right, maybe she didn't 
have a right to interfere with the Mulder family. But how could she 
have stood there and let Mulder be attacked in such a cruel and 
callous way?

She couldn't.  She spent most of her time defending him, it had 
become second nature to her.  First with the other agents at the 
Bureau, then sometimes with Skinner, it seemed natural to defend him 
against his mother's backlash.

Had she been so wrong?  Oh, Christ had she gone too far?  Would 
it damage their partnership?

"Mom, it's okay, Mom," Mulder rocked his mother in his arms, he 
stroked her white hair with his hand, "I'm here, I'm right here, 
Mom."

She pulled away from him abruptly, "It was you, wasn't it?" Her 
voice hissed with accusation and Mulder physically pulled back.

"What are you talking about, Mom?" He asked trying to pull her 
back into his embrace, but she pushed him back so hard that he almost 
fell over.

"We left her with you.  You did it, didn't you!" Her fist 
smashed against his chest, "You never liked her.  I heard you telling 
her that you wished she were dead.  You killed her!" Her fists 
smashed into him again and again, "You killed my baby!"

She dissolved into floods of tears, all the time hitting Mulder 
more and more. Her strokes were getting heavier and heavier and he 
was doing nothing to stop the reign of blows against his torso. His 
face had drained of color as his mother's accusation sank in. He 
shook his head slowly from side to side in disbelief.

"Mom, I never...	I could never...  You have to believe me..." 
he spluttered.

"YOUR FATHER KNEW!" she screamed at him, "He told me that I 
shouldn't trust anything that you said.  That's why I never believed 
any of those damn stories about aliens...  You're sick, Fox, you were 
a sick little boy..."

"No!  Please, Mom, don't say that..." he tried to pull her into 
an embrace again, but she pushed him away even harder.

"Stay away from me! I don't want you near me. You murderer...  
you killed my baby....  you killed your sister!" She collapsed onto 
the carpeted floor, hysterical, calling out the name of her daughter 
over and over again.

"Mom!" Mulder shouted, "I didn't do it.  I didn't...  you have 
to believe me....  They took her away...  it was them not me.  Mom, 
please don't do this," He was frantic, his fists clenched and 
unclenched at his sides, his eyes were huge and dilated. His breath 
came out in strangled gasps. "I loved her.  I didn't mean the things 
that I said.  It was just a little boy getting frustrated with his 
kid sister....  God, please don't believe I hurt her," he fell back 
to his knees in front of his prostrate mother, "Please...  please...  
OH, GOD!"

Teena Mulder began screaming.  Her cries were loud and echoed 
through the old house.  She screamed over and over again, her throat 
becoming raw with the effort.  She rolled around on the carpeted 
floor wailing like a crazy woman.  The shrill sound of her anguish 
made Mulder want to cover his ears just so that he could block out 
the noise and the grief that was associated with it.

He had no idea as to the best thing to do in a situation like 
this. Instinct took over and he leaned forward and picked his mother 
up, cradling her sobbing body in his arms. At first she seemed to 
calm down, but then she opened her eyes and saw who had a hold of 
her.

"MURDERER!" She screamed, "GET AWAY FROM ME! YOU KILLED HER!" 
Her gaze became a beacon of pure fury and outrage, "MAY YOU BURN IN 
HELL!"

"MOM!" Mulder sobbed, but she started to kick and fight against 
his hold.  Quickly he strode to the couch and placed her gently upon 
it, he took a hurried step back as her arms and legs began to punch 
and kick out at him.  He looked around for a blanket and found one.  
Grabbing it, he draped it over his mother's shuddering body. He 
turned to say something to Scully and found that she was gone.

*********************************************************************

Teena Mulder's Residence
Greenwich, Connecticut
1:25 A.M.

	*Oh God, no!* He thought to himself. *Please don't let Scully 
believe the words my mother said.* He searched the rooms downstairs 
and he briefly wondered if she had retreated somewhere so that she 
could call the police and have him taken into custody.

	No. That wouldn't be Scully's way. If she thought for one 
minute that Mulder had been the perpetrator of that heinous crime 
against his sister, he would be eating carpet right now as Scully 
threw him on the floor and cuffed him.

	She had her Sig on her and her handcuffs. She could quite 
easily take him down. She had before. He knew she could, and would, 
do so again if she felt she had to.

	So where the hell was she?

	As if in answer the front door flew open and she appeared in 
the doorway. Her eyes took in his startled look for a moment before 
they slid away from him and focused instead upon his mother. She 
stepped quickly into the living room and over to his mother's prone 
figure, it was only then that Mulder realized that she was carrying 
her medical bag.

	He let out a sigh of relief. She must have gone to fetch it 
from the car when his mother had started screaming. He walked to the 
open front door and closed it. Then he went in to join his partner.

	"I think you better call the family doctor, Mulder. I think 
she's going into shock." He saw her produce a hypodermic from her 
bag. He softly touched her arm and stilled her motions.

	"What are you giving her?" he asked, feeling foolish to doubt 
her motives.

	She seemed to read his mind and she gave him a chastising 
glare. "It's a mild sedative. It'll help her calm down." she smiled 
at him, "Honestly, Mulder, do you think I'd kill your mother?"

	He thought of a witty comeback and decided now wasn't the 
proper time. Instead he moved to the telephone and dialed the local 
G.P.  A few minutes later he was back at her side.

	"He said he'd be here in twenty minutes." He watched as Scully 
ministered to his now quiet mother's needs. The sedative must have 
been taking effect because he thought that if his mother knew that it 
was his fiery partner looking after her, it would have sent her 
straight back into a case of the screaming jeebies.

	"How is she?" He asked tentatively.

	"She's quieted down. I still think she's in shock.  She's way 
too cold and clammy; we'll know more when the doctor arrives." She 
ran a hand around the back of her neck to ease away the days tension 
as she turned to face him.

	"Christ, Mulder, I'm sorry." He looked a little perplexed so 
she continued, "I can't help feeling that I was the cause of this.  I 
laid into her pretty hard. I guess I underestimated how much she 
could take."

	"You were pretty tough on her, Scully," he saw her lower her 
head in what appeared to be shame. He put his fingers under her chin 
and forced her head up to meet his steady gaze. "Hey, that's not to 
say that she didn't deserve a lot of it.  I'm not used to someone 
fighting my corner so passionately, Scully.  Especially where my 
parents are concerned."

	"You mean nobody ever did?" she asked him, already knowing the 
answer.

	He shook his head, "Where were you when I needed you as a kid, 
Dana?"

	"Stuck on some Godforsaken Naval station, Mulder. Complete 
with two asshole brothers and a flirtatious sister."

	"That explains how you got so good at ass-kicking, Scully," he 
said around a smile.

	"Better believe it, Mulder, and don't ever forget it," she 
replied with a small smile of her own.

	Mulder allowed a chuckle to escape, but the levity quickly 
dissolved. "Dana," she looked up at the sound of her first name and 
couldn't help seeing the change now apparent on his face.

	"What's wrong?" She asked. Genuine concern shone out from her 
sapphire eyes.

	"What she said...." Mulder looked down at the carpet for a 
moment before raising his head to once again meet his partner's 
worried gaze. "I didn't do those things, Scully. I swear to you...  I 
didn't do those..."

	She silenced him with a finger to his lips.

	"I know. I never thought otherwise."

	"It's just that..." he shook his head forlornly,"if she keeps 
insisting that they're true...  people may begin to believe her.  
Especially around here..." he swept a hand in a circular motion, but 
she knew that his words encompassed more than just the house they 
were standing in.  He was referring to the community in which his 
mother lived. The white, middle class, middle America community that 
his mother was a respected member of. "People around here have never 
liked me..."

	"I don't care what *they* think," Scully replied softly, "You 
and I both know the truth."

	She watched as his tense body finally seemed to relax at the 
reassurance of her words. How on earth could he have thought that she 
would have believed those hurtful things that his mother had accused 
him of? Sometimes he had such a low opinion of himself it took little 
more than a small harsh word to knock him down. Other times, like 
those times when law enforcement officers or Bureau personal 
ridiculed him, he had such thick skin that he reminded her of a 
rhino.

	She stretched out her hand and touched his shoulder lightly, 
"Okay?"

	He took a moment to answer and she saw him staring down at his 
now quieted mother, finally he nodded slowly, a sad smile passing 
briefly across his lips, "Okay, Scully."

	The doorbell rang at that moment and he moved away from her to 
answer it. As he walked toward the door she took in his posture. He 
looked like a defeated man. One of those shell-shocked, war heroes 
you read about from time to time in magazine articles. Someone who 
had taken one too many blows and was on the verge of total collapse.  
He needed rest.  He needed sleep... preferably the non-nightmare 
variety, but she knew that was a rarity in Mulder's case.

	As he moved out of her line of sight she expelled a long breath 
and ran a hand through her hair. God. This was turning into the 
longest day she had ever known and there was still no sign of it 
ending.

	The person at the door turned out to be the doctor. Mulder let 
him in and ushered him into the living room. Scully instantly 
switched into doctor mode and began giving details to the family 
doctor about Mrs. Mulder's symptoms and its cause. She diplomatically 
left out both her outburst and Mrs. Mulder's accusations toward her 
son. The doctor seemed to agree with her diagnosis and called for an 
ambulance to take Mrs. Mulder to the local hospital for observation.

	When the ambulance arrived, both she and the doctor assisted 
the paramedics. Scully had even gone so far as to go up to the 
bedroom and arrange a change of clothes for the stricken woman's 
hospital stay. They loaded the now sleeping Mrs. Mulder into the back 
of the ambulance and after giving thanks to the doctor for his prompt 
help, Scully returned to the house in search of her partner.

	She found him asleep in one of the living room chairs. She 
debated leaving him there or at least waking him enough to lead him 
to a guest bedroom. For a reason she didn't quite understand she woke 
him and lead him to the car. Finding the keys to the house, she 
locked it up and got into the car. Starting the engine and 
negotiating a narrow three point turn, she pointed the car in the 
direction of the motel she had seen earlier and drove off into the 
darkness of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Greenwich Meridian Motel
Greenwich, Connecticut
03:30 A.M.

	A piercing scream dragged her out of her sleep with a jolt.  
Her eyes flickered to the bedside table and read the luminous dial on 
the travel clock.

	An hour. She had been asleep for barely an hour.

	Another heart-rending scream had her out of the bed, gun in 
hand and flying toward the connecting door that lead to Mulder's 
bedroom. The door had been left half open in case Mulder had needed 
her in the night.  She hadn't expected to be needed quite so soon.  
She gingerly pushed it the rest of the way open and stepped through 
it, sweeping the room with her gun, but finding no intruder in the 
room, just her partner in the grip of a nightmare.

	"Please..." he sobbed, "please don't hurt her...  don't hurt 
Sammy..."

	She crossed to the bed and sank down on it. Mulder was tangled 
up in the sheets, the blanket had been kicked to the floor with all 
his thrashing about. He was kicking out in his sleep and his hands 
were bunched up in the topsheet.

	"Sammy..." Scully ducked under his arms as they swept up and 
outward beseechingly, as though he were trying to grab somebody, 

	"Please stop hurting her...." his voice was shaky and low, 
"Daddy don't hurt her anymore!"

	"What!?" Scully narrowed her eyes and glanced at her still 
sleeping partner.

	This was not the normal pattern of his nightmares. This one was 
different. In the five years that she had been his partner she 
thought that she had come across most of the ways in which his mind 
decided to torture him during his sleep. She unofficially classed 
herself as an expert when it came to Fox Mulder's nocturnal 
nightmares.

	It wasn't as though she hadn't been expecting one to appear.  
They were about as reliant as Cancerman smoking a cigarette and she 
had been sure that the extra stress of the days events would trigger 
one. But what was he dreaming about? She hadn't come across this one 
before, it was new and therefore totally unpredictable. She knew how 
to handle his other ones. She knew the details of them and how they 
affected him and she knew what to do to break him out of their 
clutches.

	She almost felt as though she shared them with him. She was the 
only person he would ever let see him like this. She fought his 
dragons... she knew how to slay them. She had fought them on his 
behalf so often that she felt as though she should list them on some 
kind of battle standard, the way regiments did their battle honors.

Samantha's abduction.

Her abduction.

Donnie Pfaster.

Robert Patrick Modell and the macabre game of Russian Roulette.

That bastard Roche and the Paper Hearts case.

His tests with the Black Cancer in Russia.

Her cancer. Thank God that one was no longer in his repertoire.  
It had vanished as quickly as her cancer had after her remission.

He started to sob and moan in his sleep.  His legs kicked out 
savagely as he desperately tried to make contact with his phantom 
adversary. "Daddy....  Daddy... please.  Don't lock me out, Dad," his 
head thrashed to and fro on the pillow, "What are you doing?  What 
are you doing to Sammy?"

He unexpectedly screamed at that moment and it startled Scully.  
Her heart began to hammer in her chest as she tried to regain control 
of her composure. She put her weapon down on the nightstand and took 
him by the shoulders.

"Mulder," she shook him gently, "Mulder wake up.  It's only a 
dream, Mulder. C'mon you know the routine, wake up for me."

He screamed again, his hands clenched into tight fists and they 
beat down upon the mattress with exaggerated force. "Let me in!  
Daddy, let me in! What are you doing to her? Oh God, what are you 
doing, Daddy?"

His body flew up in the bed and his sudden and unexpected 
movement knocked Scully off balance. She flung out a hand to grasp at 
something... anything... to break her fall. She found nothing and 
crashed sideways into the nightstand, her hip made contact with the 
sharp edge of the wooden cabinet and a blazing hot pain seared 
through her side.

"Shit!" She took in a painful breath through her clenched teeth 
and rubbed her side gingerly. She was going to have one hell of a 
bruise come morning. The sickening sensation in her stomach from the 
pain subsided enough to allow her thoughts to focus once again on her 
anguished partner. She climbed back upon the bed and knee-walked over 
to where Mulder was sitting bolt upright, arms flaying about wildly 
in all directions.

Using all her upper body strength she managed to pin his arms 
to his side. His breath was coming in labored gasps and his body was 
sweaty and slick. He was fighting her tooth and nail as though his 
very life depended on it. Wherever he was in his dreamstate, he felt 
threatened, furthermore, he felt Samantha was threatened and he was 
trying to do everything in his power to help her.

"Mulder," she spoke softly to him. Trying to reach him with her 
familiar words and tone of voice. Her arms tightened around his chest 
and she leaned her body against his. She had no idea of how to break 
him out of this particular nightmare. Being new she didn't know how 
far into it he was. She didn't know how worse it might get.  The one 
thing she did know was that if she let him go, he would probably hurt 
himself.

Badly...

She hung onto him. Her side decided to remind her of her own 
pain and started to throb incessantly, but she pushed all thoughts of 
herself to the back of her mind as she tried to break her partner out 
this new nightmare, "Mulder, it's me...  it's Scully....  c'mon now 
you have to wake up."

"Samantha!" He continued his struggles against her. His arms 
were trying desperately to break free from her. His muscles bunched 
and flexed as he tried to prize the anaconda like hold she had around 
his chest. Tears began to course down his face, mingling with the 
sweat from his exertions. The still night air was broken with his 
sobs of pain and anguish, "What's going on?"

"Daddy say something...?"

"Please..."

His voice dropped to a low whisper, "Talk to me?"

Scully's short arms were beginning to cramp from her hold on 
him.  She tried to work the kinks out by flexing and unflexing her 
muscles as she held him. During one of these maneuvers, his right arm 
broke free and on an anguished cry of frustration and terror, he 
swung it in a wide arc.

Scully saw it just in time to duck as it passed dangerously 
close to her head, but in doing so she inadvertently let go of her 
hold on him.

That was a big mistake.

Before she knew what had happened, Mulder had her pajama top 
gripped in his fist. He pulled her roughly towards him. She watched 
as his face turned into an angry grimace. His teeth and jaw clenched 
as hard and tightly as he held her nightware between his fist.

"What did you do to her?" His voice was hard with an edge of 
pure steel.

"Mulder, it's *me*." Scully replied, and she was aware that her 
own voice had an anxious tremor in it. His eyes had a good way of 
revealing things to her that the rest of him refused to do and right 
this minute it was telling her in big black lettering that she wasn't 
reaching him.  The death grip that he was holding her in combined 
with the total look of anger and hatred in his eyes did nothing to 
quell the rolling anxiety that was beginning to permeate her body.

In his dreamstate he was confronting his adversary.

His father.

"YOU BASTARD!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER!!!!" His voice was no 
longer that of the terrified little boy it had been earlier, now it 
had the full force and venom of a full-grown man. When Scully didn't 
answer, he shook her violently, "ANSWER ME!"

Both hands now grabbed her roughly. In his pure anger, he tore 
the soft material of her pajama top. The long jagged tear sagged away 
from the rest of the material exposing smooth, ivory colored flesh 
beneath. He whirled her around on the bed as though she were nothing 
more than a child's rag doll, she couldn't help the cry of fear that 
escaped from her throat as he threw her down upon the mattress 
beneath him. His mass towered over her, his eyes blazed his fury, his 
nostrils flared open wide with it. The anger and hatred for the man 
in his dreams came off him in waves.

She had witnessed his anger before. She had seen him lose it 
with assholes like Roche and that guy in the gargoyle case. She had 
even had to pull him off of a couple of cops once who had pushed his 
buttons a little too often for their own good. And if someone 
threatened her...

But she had never seen him this angry before. She had never 
seen him this damn close to losing it.

Big time.

With her.

She knew of course that he wasn't seeing her. She wasn't even 
in the scenario that was at this moment in time playing out in the 
dark recesses of his nightmare filled mind.

That made it worse.

That made her scared. The uncontrollable shaking in her body 
only emphasized that point as she tried desperately to think of 
something that would break through the barrier and penetrate his 
conscious mind.

*Think.  Dana. Think! *

Mulder's patience was beginning to wear more than a little 
thin, "YOU SON OF A BITCH!  WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!!!!!" One hand 
rose from its grip on her nightware and she watched in utter terror 
as his hand formed a fist and he drew it back as though to strike 
her.

Oh sweet God in heaven, "MULDER!" she screamed, "IT'S **ME**!"

His head snapped up as her scream finally registered through 
the red haze that had been fogging his mind. His eyes widened as he 
took in the scene in front of him. Scully sprawled out on his bed, 
him straddling her small body, his right fist drawn back as though to 
strike her.

He could see the whites of her eyes as she stared at him in 
what looked to be sheer terror. Those eyes looked like huge saucers, 
even in the muted light that filtered in through the open curtained 
window. Her breath was coming in ragged puffs and both her hands were 
wrapped around his drawn back fist as though trying to stop him from 
delivering his blow.

"Scully?" he asked, confusion in his voice.

He shook his head.  Where was his father?  He had been there a 
minute ago. The bastard had been about to tell him the truth about 
what had happened that night. How the hell had Scully gotten here?

Scully swallowed a couple of times before she could make the 
dry sandpaper feeling of her throat workable for producing coherent 
words, "Mulder, I'm going to let go of your arm now."

Slowly... hesitantly...  she let one hand fall away from his 
fist. She wasn't sure if he was in complete control of his reality 
right now, but she had to trust him not to hit her. When he didn't 
make a move to follow through with his blow she allowed the other 
hand to slip away to land with a dull thud on the mattress.

Mulder unflexed his fingers and dropped his hand to his side.  
Finally, Scully allowed her taut body to relax and she let out a huge 
sigh of relief.

"Scully.... I don't..." he began, but she didn't let him 
continue.

"You were having a nightmare. I came in to see if I could 
help." She rubbed her hand across her still throbbing hip, "You were 
dreaming about your father and Samantha...  It wasn't your usual 
nightmare, Mulder."

He became aware that he was still effectively pinning her down 
on the mattress with his weight. He slipped off of her caged body and 
kept his distance from her. What on earth had he been about to do?  
What had happened to his father?

Scully heaved herself up into an upright position on the bed 
and took a couple of deep lung filling breaths. She could feel the 
shakiness that she had been feeling start to fade away. She was used 
to adrenaline rushes, it came part and parcel with the job.  Problem 
was...  you started to shake more after the rush than during it and 
that was something she didn't want Mulder to see. She didn't want him 
to know how much he had scared her.

She clawed her hands through her hair a couple of times in 
order to hide her shakiness, hoping Mulder wouldn't see, but already 
feeling that his eyes were intently focused on her just the same.  

She took the time also to regulate her breathing and slow her heart 
rate down to a more manageable level. When she was certain that she 
had herself back in some semblance of control, she turned toward him.

"Jesus, Mulder. I don't know where you were, but you certainly 
weren't responding to my calls."

"I'm sorry," his apology seemed laced with shame.  He fingers 
reached out and traced her cheekbone. "Did I hurt you, Scully?"

"I'm fine, Mulder. Just a few bruises that's all," she watched 
as pain crossed his face at her words, and his eyes shut tightly 
together.

"Mulder, it wasn't your fault. You thought I was your father." 
She wiped the back of her hand over her eyes while she composed her 
thoughts.  He was going to need her to fill in some of the blanks and 
hopefully he would be able to fill in a few of his own. His 
photographic memory came in handy when it came to analyzing dreams.

"You were going berserk, Mulder. Thrashing about... kicking 
every which way. Do you remember any of that?"

He shook his head dolefully. She continued.

"You were screaming Samantha's name... screaming at your 
father... telling him not to hurt her anymore." her eyes met his, 
"What the hell was going on, Mulder?"

He gasped as his mind suddenly kicked into gear and he 
remembered a part of the dream. He was standing outside a door. A 
white door... in the house in Chilmark. Behind the door he could hear 
Samantha screaming... begging for someone to stop hurting her.

"Daddy, stop..." a strangled scream, "Daaaadddddyy!  Noooo! 
Daaaadddddy!"

Everything.  Everything that happened that night came back to 
him with crystal clarity. Every sickening, gut wrenching thought, 
feeling and emotion. Bile surged into his throat and he knew he 
wouldn't be able to swallow it back down. He lurched off the bed and 
sprinted toward the bathroom, just about making it before his stomach 
began to eject the meager amount of food he had forced down into it 
that day.

He heard Scully's hurried footsteps as he continued to retch 
into the toilet bowl and he cursed the fact that this was the second 
time that day that she had had to witness this.

"Mulder?" Scully rushed after him, "are you all right?" She put 
a hand to his forehead, but it was cool, no sign of a fever.

He dry heaved into the toilet for a few seconds more before 
straightening. He flushed the toilet and ran cold water into the 
basin. Scooping up the cold water in his hands he splashed it on his 
face. The stark coldness woke him up even more, so he did it a couple 
more times.

He met Scully's worried gaze in the bathroom mirror. "It wasn't 
a nightmare, Scully, "he saw her arch an eyebrow in curiosity, "it 
was a memory. A very deeply repressed memory."

"How do you know?" she asked as she followed him from the bathroom to 
once again sit on the edge of his bed."How do you know it wasn't just 
a dream?"

"Because I remember what happened that night, Scully." His hazel eyes 
suddenly looked sad and his whole body tensed," Vividly..." His eyes 
rose to meet her blue penetrating gaze, "And I wish to God that I 
didn't."


Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut,

	She felt the mattress dip as his weight came down upon the bed 
as he sat down beside her. He sank his head into his hands and 
clawed his fingers through his scalp. He was quiet, too quiet for 
Scully's liking, but she stayed silent waiting for him to compose his 
thoughts. She watched as his eyes clenched shut and the thought that 
maybe he was reliving a particularly bad moment from his dream... his 
memory... passed through her mind.

	Minutes passed before she saw him finally raise his head so 
that he could meet her inquiring gaze. His eyes were pools of tears 
and somehow, through sheer willpower, he refused to allow those tears 
to fall. 

	He bit down on his lower lip hoping that the pain would 
ease both the imminent fall of tears and his anguished soul. Before 
she knew what she was doing, Scully reached out with her fingers and 
brushed them tenderly across the teeth marks that he had bitten into 
his bottom lip.

	"Tell me," she said softly, continuing her smooth stroking 
movement upon his lip, "what happened that night, Mulder?"

	His hand came up quickly and stilled her movements upon him.  
He clasped her hand in his and entwined his fingers with hers. He 
looked down at their joined hands and pondered in amazement how 
someone with as big a heart and soul as Dana Scully could have such 
small hands.

	"Jesus, I have been such a fool." His words were low and 
hesitant, Scully had to lean forward to even hear them.

	"In what way?" she asked.

	"In every possible way, Scully." He turned his head toward 
her, "But mostly for being so arrogant in my single minded pursuit 
of the truth. I let them use me, Scully." His eyes slid from hers 
and focused instead on the carpeted floor, "I let them use me and a 
trail of broken twisted bodies have been left in my self centred 
wake." 

	"Mulder..." Scully began, but he stopped her short with a brush 
of his free hand in the air.

	"I arrogantly believed the lies that they fed me. If this 
hadn't happened to me...  if I didn't now know the truth...  I would 
still be believing them."
	
	"What are you talking about?" 

	"The memories, Scully. The memories concerning Samantha's so 
called abduction." His head rose from his study of the carpet,      
"Those false memories have caused so much bloodshed...  so much pain 
and torture...  and do you know what the worse thing is?"

	She shook her head slowly in the negative. Her auburn hair 
swirled around the shoulders of the navy pyjama's that she wore. Her 
movements caught Mulder's gaze and he followed with his eyes until he 
came upon the torn segment of the top that he had caused in his 
struggle with her earlier. His hand left her tight grip and made its 
way slowly over the soft material. If he saw Scully's eyes widen at 
his touch, he didn't acknowledge it. He touched the torn flap of 
material and tried to place it back in its original position, but as 
soon as his hand moved away the material fell away from the gaping 
hole just over her chest.

	"The worse thing is..." Once again his warm hazel eyes met 
hers, "... I have caused you so much pain...  so much torment. You 
more than anyone have paid the price of my reckless folly." His hand 
ran down her clothed arm and grasped her hand again, "Is it any 
wonder your brother calls me one sorry son of a bitch!"

	"That's not true, Mulder, and Bill had no right to call you 
that." 

	"But it is true. I didn't think so at the time and after your 
recovery I still didn't want to believe it, but now..." He shook his 
head dolefully, "Now with what I know, it's so easy to see how right 
your brother was."
	 
	"Mulder, stop beating yourself up all the time. Don't you see 
it has never been your fault. Never. I was chosen to work with you.  
I was chosen because they thought they could use me to shut you down.  
They were wrong." She grabbed his chin in the small palm of her hand 
and pulled his head around to look at her, "I once told you that I 
wouldn't change a single day, Mulder. And I meant every word of it."

	"You may not want to Scully, but I sure as hell do." A tear 
broke free and cascaded down his face. It dripped off the end of his 
chin and splattered onto his naked chest. He barely felt it. His 
mind and his heart were full of the pain of realisation.

	Realisation that a big chuck of his life had been lived as a 
lie. A lie that had at first drawn him into the shadowy world of 
covert Government conspiracies and even deeper into the dark rancid 
world of the black operations units that did Governmental and even 
International dirty work. He alone had decided to fight them...bring 
them down with a notion of blind Justice and a belief that in doing 
so he would uncover the secrets to a mystery twenty-five years in the 
making.

	That in uncovering the truth that was bound up in the myriad 
web of lies and deceits that he daily uncovered, he would uncover the 
truth about the existence of extraterrestrial life on far distant 
planets and his sister's abduction by said creatures.

	**Asshole. Fucking delusional prick.** He thought to himself 
in disgust and self loathing.

	But playing the lone wolf only pissed off the very people that 
he was trying to bring down. So they decided that they should 
introduce another player into their little web of lies. Someone 
who's innocence could be shattered by the sheer weight of what she 
would be forced to see. Who's faith.. so hard and resilient at the 
start of her journey, would gradually fade over time until she nearly 
lost it all together.  Who's life would be taken over by forces 
beyond her control, forces who could take her away at a moments 
notice to experiment upon her body and force it to do things against 
her will.

	Someone who's sense of Justice would be tested to its very 
limits by the very organisation that they swore to uphold. Whose 
family would be made to pay for her allegiance to the lone wolf and 
her steadfast refusal to turn against him and the work that they both 
so passionately pursued.

	All in search of a folly....

	Mulder knew that now. A folly created by the very people they 
tracked down. Instigated to cover a lie for one of their own. To 
stop one of their own from being convicted of a heinous crime.

	Infanticide.

	Mulder's hand rose to his mouth again as his stomach lurched 
and he feared that he would be dry heaving again any second.

	Scully's cool hand rested on his shoulder and stroked it 
slowly. 

	"Mulder, what do you remember?" She made sure her voice was 
soft and coaxing. She knew him well enough to know that his little 
outburst was just a way for him to put off the moment when he would 
have to reveal his recovered memory to her. It wasn't like him to 
run away from the truth. After all wasn't it the one thing he had 
been searching for, for almost a quarter of a century. Whatever 
revelation he had uncovered scared him...  and that in itself had the 
knock on effect of making her feel rather uncomfortable too.

	Mulder couldn't put it off any longer. He needed to tell her 
what he had remembered. A roll of nausea ran through his stomach and 
he felt the bile rise in his throat. He swallowed the hot acid back 
down and resisted the instinctive reaction to gag.

	"Everything that I have told you about that night was a lie.  
There was no alien...." He swallowed convulsively, "... alien 
abduction. There wasn't even an abduction at all." Scully's eyes 
narrowed when she heard this and she cocked her head to the side as 
if asking a silent question, "That basic assumption has lead me on a 
fools errand all these years and it stops right now."

	"So what did..." She began.

	"My parents left the house as I told you. They were due to 
have dinner at the Galbraith's just across the street from our house.  
Everything leading up to the point where I thought Samantha was 
abducted remains the same." His hand ran through his hair raggedly, 
his fingers trembling. Once again his eyes sought out hers.

	 "But then Dad came back..." he told her, "Alone..."	

	Scully inhaled a deep breath and studied her partner. Although 
he were looking directly at her, she could tell that once again he 
was far away. His mind and his memory were back in 1973, reliving a 
night that would have a profound effect upon the life of a young 
twelve year old boy.

	"But why, Mulder? Why did your father come back?"

	"I don't know why he came back, but what I do remember is the 
anger. The sheer forcefulness of the anger that I saw on his face."

	"Anger? Why would he be angry?" 

	Mulder shrugged his shoulders at her question, "He always had 
a drink problem. Now that I think about it, he would sit in his study 
for hours drinking scotch and staring out of the window. He had done 
it that night...  before getting dressed for dinner...  I saw him."

	"Did your mother know?" Scully asked softly.

	"She ignored it. She was a woman of her time, Dana." Scully 
smiled at his use of her first name, he was doing that a lot lately,  
"She was the dutiful wife and mother. She did what they all did... 
she turned a blind eye."

	**Looks like it's a habit she hasn't grown out of.** Scully 
thought to herself, but managed to curb the urge to say so out loud.

	"Maybe it had something to do with his work on the Project.  I 
dunno, but he was real tanked up by the time they left. I remember 
actually being relieved when they went out the door... let the 
Galbraith's deal with him, but within half an hour he was back...  
and back with a vengeance."

	"What do you mean?" Scully asked.

	"Just that. He flung the door open and half staggered into 
the room. The damn door bounced off the wall so hard that it sounded 
like a gunshot." Mulder's eyes widened as his mind supplied him with 
a mental picture of his words, "He slammed it behind him and headed 
straight for us as we sat and played on the floor."

	"`Fucking Bastard! You Goddamn fucking bastard!'" Mulder's 
words were spoken loudly and with such venom that Scully actually 
flinched until she realised that he was quoting his father 
and hadn't intended them for her.

	"`Whore! She's a Goddamn Whore! How could she do this...  
How could she do this to me!'" 

	 Mulder blinked slowly, "That's all he kept saying, Scully.  
Over and over again. His words were slurred, but I could make out his 
meaning."

	Pain etched across Mulder's face causing the creases in his 
forehead to resemble crevices, "Sam was getting scared. She sidled 
up beside me and grabbed the sleeve of my T-shirt. She never liked 
confrontation, Scully. Never."

	"What happened, Mulder?"

	Mulder swallowed hard and his eyes clenched tightly closed.  
When he next spoke his voice trembled, "I tried...  I tried to stop 
him. I really did, but he was too strong. He was so damn strong."  
Tears poked out of the corners of his eyes and began running silently 
down his cheeks, "I'm sorry, Sam...  I am so..  so ...  sorry!"

	"Mulder, what happened? What did he do?" Scully's stomach 
was beginning to tighten in apprehension.  

	"He grabbed her. Dragged her up from the floor." His head 
fell into his upturned hands, "His eyes, Scully. There was so much 
fury in his eyes. They were the eyes of a madman..." 

 	 Mulder's thoughts were in a turmoil as his mind played the 
scene in his head again. His father reaching out toward his sister.  
Mulder trying to hold onto her as his father forcefully pulled her 
out of his grasp. The thoughts and accompanying images began to 
become too much and he shook his head violently trying to push them 
away.

	"`Whore's child!'" Mulder's voice once again spoke the words of 
his father. He let out a strangled cry as an image viciously 
assaulted his consciousness.

	 "He hit her! He drew back a fist and hit her." he moaned 
aloud, "Why did you hit her? Why did you hit her, Daddy?" A 
plaintive sob erupted from his throat and echoed around the still 
room.

	Scully didn't know what to do. Should she let him continue?  
It was evident that this memory  was a traumatic one. Maybe too 
traumatic considering the day that he had already had. Deep down she 
had to admit that she wasn't too sure if the memory could be relied 
upon. It could have been a vivid dream brought on by the stress that 
he had endured. It may not be a memory at all.

	"Mulder, maybe you should try and rest." She encouraged.

	 "No!" His voice had a edge of steel to it. When she chanced a 
glance at him she couldn't help noticing the look of icy 
determination in his eyes.

	"Don't you see... I have to get this out. I have to tell 
someone. Jesus, this has been festering away inside of me for twenty 
years." His eyes pleaded with hers, "Scully, I want you to know.   
I need you to know what really happened."

	She nodded her head as if she were giving him her approval to 
continue, which in a way she was, "Okay, Mulder. But if this gets 
too much..." She let the rest go unsaid.

	Mulder nodded once and swallowed hard before continuing, "His 
grip was too strong for me to break. He pulled her roughly away from 
me. She was crying. I could tell she was really scared and one look 
at my father's face told me that she had every right to be. I had 
never seen him so angry. Not even when I screwed up....  Not even 
when he would punish me for screwing up. The beatings were nothing 
compared with..."

	"Wait a minute!" Scully said, concern showing on her face,   
"What beatings?"

	 Mulder didn't answer her question. Instead he turned away 
from her intense stare and focused on the bureau in the corner of the 
room, "I begged him to let her go. I asked him where he was taking 
her, but he wouldn't answer me."

	Scully sighed in frustration. If he wanted to play it that way 
then fine, but the matter of the beatings would not be forgotten.  

	"I pulled at his jacket in an attempt to slow him down. That 
just got me a kicking for my trouble."

	"Jesus." Scully whispered.

	"I couldn't understand what was happening. All I knew was 
that my father was hurting Samantha. He had never laid a finger on 
her before that night. I was always the one that he took things out 
on....  I couldn't understand why he was beating her. What had she 
done?"

	Mulder suddenly jumped up from the bed and began to pace the 
room. The small lamp on the table cast long yellowing shadows on the 
motel room walls, "He took her into the downstairs guestroom. She was 
screaming and blood was running out of her mouth and nose. I was 
scared. So scared. I didn't know what to do for the best. Should I 
go to the Galbraith's and get Mom or should I stay and try and 
protect Samantha? Where was Mom? WHERE THE HELL WAS SHE?"

	"He locked the fucking door! I couldn't get in. I couldn't 
get past the fucking door!" 

	He slumped onto his knees in the centre of the room and Scully 
was by his side in a second. She took him in her arms and held him 
as the tears beared down upon him with a vengeance.

	"I kept screaming at him to let me in. I beat on the door 
until my knuckles were bloody and torn. I kicked at the damn thing.  
It just wouldn't budge." He took a shuddering breath, "And all the 
time I could hear Samantha's cries...  her pleas... begging him not 
to hurt her..."

	He turned in her arms and buried his face in the soft satin 
material of her pyjama's, "I couldn't save her, Scully." He broke 
down uncontrollably. Sobs tearing from his mouth and tears cascading 
down his cheeks to run hotly into the soft material that nestled 
against his face.  

	Scully soothed him the best she could. Ran her hands over his 
back and shoulders, brushed the damp locks from his brow. His sobs 
eventually quietened and she wondered how many more times over the 
course of the next few days she would be called upon to calm his 
frazzled nerves and grief stricken heart.

	She would gladly do it no matter how many times he would call 
upon her.

	His hiccuping breaths alerted her to the fact that he was 
coming out the other side of the trauma. His body stilled and he 
leaned back into the cradle of her thighs as she moved around behind 
him on the floor. She pulled his body back against her chest and 
slid her arms around his waist, holding onto him tightly. 

	They sat that way for nearly an hour. Mulder staring fixedly 
at the far wall allowing Scully to support him with her body. They 
didn't speak at all. Words no longer seemed necessary between them.  
He was hurting and she was soothing him, that was all they needed to 
know. Finally Mulder stirred.

	"The last words I ever heard her say were No, Daddy, no!"  
His body began shaking as new sobs tore through him and Scully 
tightened her hold on him, "I should have saved her, Scully. I 
should have tried harder to save her from him."

	He felt her shift against his back and the featherlight touch 
of a kiss as she placed it on the top of his head, "You were a 
little boy, Mulder, you did everything you could." she whispered 
into his hair.

	"It wasn't enough... It wasn't nearly enough..." He shook 
his head sadly from side to side. They were quiet again for a long 
time and when Scully glanced out the window she could see the first 
stirrings of the dawn as the sun began to break slowly over the 
horizon. From Mulder's slumped position against her she was 
convinced that Mulder had finally fallen asleep, but when she moved a 
little he stirred and turned around to face her.
	
	"You know what's crazy?" he asked, his voice hoarse from his 
crying. Scully shook her head, "All the time the answers were 
there." He pointed at his forehead, "Right in here waiting for the 
right moment to be unlocked." He grinned at her, "Everything I 
remembered from my hypnotic regression still makes sense."

	 "How?" Scully asked confusion radiating in her blue eyes.

	"You know my dreams as well as I do, Scully. Jesus, you've 
had to deal with the aftermath for the last five years." He moved in 
closer to her, "What particular themes are always recurring in my 
abduction dream?" 

	She thought for a minute as she went over in her own mind all 
the things he had told her and she had witnessed of his abduction 
dream.

	"You always remember a blinding white light," she said and he 
nodded, "a door knob being turned and the door shaking in its 
hinges." He nodded again, "And Samantha disappearing through a 
window surrounded by the same white light."

	"All those same points still apply. I think my mind has been 
trying to tell me all along what had happened, but somehow I twisted 
it into some alien abduction theory."

	"But, Mulder, that's been the basis of your search for the 
past twenty-five years, " she said and he didn't miss the note of 
disappointment in her voice.  

	"I'm not saying that there isn't such things, Scully. I still 
believe that alien abductions do occur." He saw her smile return,   
"I'm just saying that it didn't happen to Samantha."

	"But how..." 

	"They planted the memory. They made me believe it, because if 
I remembered the truth my father would wind up serving life in 
prison.... on paying a visit to the electric chair."

	"How? How did they plant the memory in the first place?" 
Scully asked, "I can't see how they would have been able to find the 
time to get you away from the police inquiry to plant the false 
memory?"

	Mulder winced as he realised that there were still things he 
hadn't shared with her, even after five years together he hadn't been 
able to tell her the full extent of the aftermath of Samantha's 
abduction.

	"Look, let's just back up a minute." he stated and he shifted 
around until he was sitting Indian style in front of her, "The point 
I was trying to make was that the three things that I have always 
remembered vividly and without alteration where the three things you 
mentioned."

	"The light, the door and the floating through the window," 
Scully said.

	"Right. Now, even in light of the new events surrounding what 
happened to Samantha, those three things still took place."

	"Huh?" Scully said.

	"Okay." Mulder waved a hand in front of her to stop any 
further comments, "Point one, the light: The light was there that 
night, but it didn't come from any kind of alien ship." He paused 
for effect, "It came from my father's car."

	"It did?" Scully asked.

	"Yes. Point two, the door is a representation of my struggles 
with the locked bedroom door in an effort to reach Samantha on the 
other side." Scully looked a little more sceptical at that one,     
"Point three, the disappearing act through the window in the bright 
light: Dad had to be able to get Samantha out the house without 
anyone getting suspicious. He couldn't do that by taking her body 
out the front door. So he drove the car up to the back of the house 
where the guestroom backed onto the small piece of land that we 
owned. The lights are the car's headlights, Sam floating through the 
window is Dad hauling her body through it so nobody else would see 
what was going on."

	"I don't know, Mulder," Scully said doubtfully.

	"I'm not saying it happened exactly that way. What I am saying 
is that those recurring points in my dreams are some form of 
symbolism that was trying subconsciously to trigger the true memory.  
I saw it all with my own eyes, Scully. I remember that now. But 
they took it away from me... they planted the false memory to cover 
up what my father did. We know he was important to the project, they 
couldn't afford to lose his input or their agenda being discovered.  
Come on, Scully, you know to what lengths they will go.  Messing with 
a child's memories would be a piece of cake. They would have the 
equipment at hand to do it... they were conducting the experiments 
even then...  we know that....the DOD guy told us as much."

	He fell silent.

	Scully stretched her tired and aching muscles as she pondered 
his new hypothesis. Right now it was way too much to take in let 
alone analyse. She needed rest and so did he. She stretched again 
and her spine cracked and popped as her vertebrae repositioned 
themselves after her long spell sitting in one position on the floor.  
She rubbed her hand unconsciously over the bruised area of her hip 
and bit down on her lip as the pain registered.

	She wondered if maybe she should get the hip checked out, maybe 
she chipped a bone or something.

	"You okay, Scully?" Mulder's voice broke through her musing.  
She nodded slowly and stifled a yawn with the back of her hand.

	"Just getting old I guess. The old body isn't what it used to 
be..." She wasn't about to tell him about the bruised hip, he had 
enough guilt running around in his mind as it was, she wasn't about 
to add any more to it, "And it has been a while since I last pulled 
an all nighter." She smiled warmly at him.

	"Not quite the type of all nighter you would have preferred, 
huh Dana?" He waggled his eyebrows at her in a friendly leer.

	Scully chuckled at his remark and yet again wondered about the 
nature of his mood swings.  Even in the deepest, darkest moments in 
his life, he still managed to throw innuendoes at her. She knew that 
the psychologist in him would probably explain it away as some sort 
of defence mechanism that enabled him to shield his true emotions 
from being seen.

	Even so... she had to admit that she liked his 
unpredictability.  If anything he kept her on her toes. And for once 
she decided that maybe it was time to see if Mulder could take it as 
well as he dished it out.

	"Well, the night might be over, but we still have the rest of 
the day. Who knows... maybe I'll get lucky?" She stared at him 
pointedly.

	There was no mistaking the gulp that she saw Mulder make at her 
own thinly veiled sexual comment and she found it difficult to keep 
the straight face that she was trying to present to him. He continued 
to stare at her in total shock and she decided that her lobbing back 
one of his innuendo's had thrown him through a loop.

	That thought gave her a very satisfied feeling deep down 
inside.

	"Ah.. I think I better..." Mulder stopped and pointed over 
her shoulder, "Take a shower, " he said abruptly and scooted up off 
the floor and dashed for the bathroom.

	"Cold one, Mulder?" She threw over her shoulder as he hurried 
past her. He made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded 
almost like a low groan. Scully cut off the laugh that was starting 
to bubble up from her stomach at his reaction to her words. She 
heard the bathroom door slam behind her followed instantaneously by 
the sound of the lock being thrown.

	She shook her head in amusement before deciding that Mulder's 
idea of a shower was probably a good one after all. It was pretty 
certain that neither of them would be sleeping anytime soon, so they 
may as well get dressed and decide what they were going to do with 
the rest of the day.

	Besides she wanted to check in with the hospital to see how 
Mrs. Mulder was doing. If nothing else it might ease the guilt that 
she was feeling about that whole sorry episode. She levered herself 
up off the floor and wandered toward the open doorway connecting 
their rooms, she was nearly there when a thought stopped her dead in 
her tracks and she had to reach out with her hand to grab a hold of 
the doorframe to steady herself as the enormity of her revelation 
smacked into her.

	"Oh, Jesus Christ.... no." she whispered to herself even 
though she knew that her denial of the truth was a misguided one.  
She hung her head low and closed her eyes debating with herself the 
best course of action to take. Should she tell him or not? Did she 
have a right to hurt him even more?

	Did she have the right to hold back on the information that she 
possessed? Wouldn't that just make her as bad as everyone else?

	Suddenly the heaviness of the burden that she had upon her 
shoulders became too much and she wished that she was home... in 
bed... far away from this place...  far away from the tortured man in 
the other room who was oblivious to this tug of war that was being 
played out in her mind.

	The noise of the shower turning off was her cue to get out of 
the room before Mulder returned and noticed that something was wrong.  
She hurried through the connecting door and closed it behind her.

*********************************************************************

Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut,06.45 a.m.

	
	It had taken her an hour to shower and change into casual 
clothing. Scully sat at the end of her bed and stared down at the 
cellphone nestled in the palm of her hand. She gazed at the small 
piece of plastic and wiring as though it were some kind of oracle.

	All seeing.

	All knowing.

	As though it would help her make the decision that she knew 
needed to be made.  

	She would tell him. It was the right thing to do. He had a 
right to know. But she would wait... wait until she had confirmed 
the details for herself.

	She hit the dial button and pushed one of the memory buttons.  
A second later she heard the sound of the connection being made and 
after three rings the call was answered.

	"Skinner," a gruff voice said on the other end of the line.

	"Sir, it's Agent Scully. I need you to do something for me.  
I need you to dig out the file on William Mulder's murder and run 
some tests on his DNA?"

	"What's wrong, Scully?" Skinner asked.

	"Maybe nothing," she hesitated, "maybe everything." 

	 "Are you all right, Agent Scully?" Skinner's voice sounded 
concerned on the other end of the line.

	Scully shook herself and made herself think before she answered 
that question, "I'm fine, sir, it's just been a very long night."

	"How's Mulder doing?" Skinner asked softly.

	"He's getting by..." She knew her reply sounded noncommittal 
and she wondered if her boss would call her on it. "Sir, I hope you 
don't mind, but I need you to run a DNA test on the bloodwork that we 
hold on William Mulder's file. If the lab can't do it from what we 
already know, then there should still be some tissue samples up at 
Quantico." She could faintly hear him scribbling in the background 
and she waited to give him a moment to jot down the details.

	"Okay, what next?" he asked, giving her the go ahead to 
continue.

	"I then need you to match those DNA findings against the DNA 
sample that was found in the Medical Examiners autopsy report on 
Samantha Mulder. I think you know the part I'm talking about, sir.." 
She heard his sharp intake of breath over the phone, "That part of 
the report that is missing from the one we have up here." She 
confirmed in the very small case that he had misinterpreted her 
earlier remark. There was a long pause on the other end of the line 
and she waited for the question that she knew her boss would ask.

	"You think William Mulder..." he began.

	"It's starting to look that way." She quickly broke in, not 
wanting to engage in anymore talk on the matter just in case Mulder 
came into her room and overheard.

	"Jesus!" Skinner expelled the word softly almost under his 
breath. Something in Scully's tone told him that she didn't want to 
discuss the matter further at this point and he silently agreed.  
However, he couldn't help wondering what they had uncovered since he 
had last spoken to them for Scully to believe in the involvement of 
Mulder's father, "Okay, Scully, I'll get on it right away."

	"Could you please messenger the findings to me care of the 
Greenwich Meridian Motel, in Greenwich, Connecticut."

	"Greenwich?" Skinner asked curiously.

	Scully swallowed hard before answering this new question,      
"Mulder told his mother last night." A cold shiver ran down her 
spine as she remembered the confrontation that had taken place.

	"My God! How is she?" 

	"In the local hospital under sedation." Even she could detect 
the cold and detached tone in her voice, she was certain that Skinner 
would pick up on it.

	"From the sound of your voice, I'd say the truth didn't go 
down so well," Skinner said.

	Damn he had picked up on it, "You could say that, sir, " she 
replied, not wanting to be drawn into having to tell Skinner about 
Mrs. Mulder's accusations toward her son, "Look, I'm also gonna need 
you to send all the details of the missing forensic work."

	"You're going to tell him?" Skinner knew it wasn't really a 
question.

	"Yes," Scully replied and she couldn't help sighing softly as 
she expelled the word, "I have to tell him.  He'd never forgive me 
if I didn't."

   	"Are you sure he can handle it?" Skinner's voice once again 
gave away his concern for his agent.

	"No, sir, I'm not sure he can handle it, but withholding it 
from him only makes us as bad as everyone else and I can't and won't 
be a party to that." Her voice held an icy determination to it that 
travelled down the phone to her boss. He knew she had no intention 
of playing by the same rules that their enemies did, namely keeping 
Mulder in the dark. The tone of her voice also indicated that if 
necessary she would do it against her boss' instructions.

	"I understand, Agent Scully," Skinner replied solemnly. He 
had to admire her unflagging loyalty to her partner as well as the 
depth to which her friendship with the bureau's least loved employee 
went.

	"Thank you, sir, I was hoping you would." She was beginning 
to get a little ansty about staying on the phone. By mutual consent 
neither of them locked the communicating door between their rooms, 
and she was becoming worried that Mulder might at any minute walk 
through the door and hear a part of this conversation.  A 
conversation that at this moment in time, Scully didn't feel 
comfortable revealing to him, "I'll keep you posted on the 
situation."

	"I'll get the tests carried out immediately and get the 
findings and the autopsy data to you asap."

	"Thank you, sir." 

	"Scully..." Skinner said before he hung up.
 	
	 "Sir?"

	"You've told me how Mulder is...  but how are you holding up?" 
His voice was soft with the same concern he had shown toward his male 
agent and Scully knew that he was genuinely worried about them.

	"I'm fi.." she began, but stopped herself before she finished 
her usual stock answer, "actually sir, I'm feeling pretty shitty." 
The words came out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them 
and her eyes opened wide in shock.

	"That rough, huh?" Skinner's tone was gentle and she silently 
thanked him for not picking her up on her slip of the tongue.

	"I've never seen Mulder, like this..." she confessed. "He's 
not exactly falling apart, but he's not far off either. This isn't 
even the first time that I've come across such raw emotions from 
him." She paused momentarily and Skinner knew that she was weighing 
up whether it was prudent to tell him anymore about her partner's 
mental state.   
	
	He heard a low drawn out sigh on the other end of the 
connection, "But seeing him like this... watching him trying not to 
crumble in front of my eyes..." She swallowed down the sob that 
threatened to break free from her throat, "It's tearing me up 
inside." she paused again, "I want to be able to do something for 
him, but I'm not even sure what to do? What's best to help him? I 
keep telling myself that all I can do is be there for him, but that 
just feels so very inadequate.. it just doesn't feel enough... 
somehow.." Her voice trailed off into a soft whisper, "... I just 
want to do what's best for him."

	"Just be there," Skinner replied, his own voice matching 
hers in its softness. "Scully, I'm sure I don't have to tell you 
this, but Mulder derives a lot of strength just from your presence 
alone."

	He felt her smile down the line, "Yours is an unique 
partnership, Scully. I've never come across anything quite like the 
relationship that you and Mulder have. Quite, frankly, I'm a little 
envious." This time he heard a faint chuckle down the line, "Never, 
*ever*, doubt how much he needs you, Dana." His voice turned more 
serious, "It's more than you could possibly imagine."

	Her boss' utter sincerity and truthfulness took her by 
surprise. It was obvious that he knew more about the inner workings 
of their partnership than either one of them had given him credit 
for. He understood the uniqueness of their special bond, how they 
seemed to compliment each other so well, how they needed one another 
to supply the things that they were individually lacking.

	She heard Skinner's voice in her ear again, "Take as long as 
you both need up there. Don't worry about things at this end.. I'll 
handle them."

	"We'll probably need a couple of days to arrange the funeral 
details." She paused briefly before continuing, "I think Mulder 
would appreciate it if you could come along?"

	"Just tell me the time and the place, Scully."

	"I'll let you know as soon as I do. Goodbye sir." She 
disconnected the phone and dropped it unceremoniously upon the unmade 
bed. God! she hadn't even thought about the funeral. With his 
mother's incapacity it would be left up to Mulder to arrange for 
Samantha's burial... yet another weight to be borne on his already 
over laden shoulders.

	A soft knock broke into her thoughts before she could continue 
them. She saw the door swing open gently to reveal Mulder as he 
stood hesitantly in the doorway.

	"I heard your voice," he said by way of introduction. "Who 
were you talking to?"

	"Skinner, I was just giving him a progress report." She 
covered, and hated herself for the white lie she was telling him, and 
vowed that it would end as soon as she got that report from her boss.

	"Oh, I thought it might have been the hospital,"  he said a 
touch disappointed.

	Her eyes widened. God, she had forgotten all about the 
hospital, "Mulder, I'm sorry, it went clean out of my head." She 
scrambled around for the cellphone again and snatched it up in her 
hand, she began frantically tapping in the number that the paramedics 
had given her. Mulder stopped her movements with a brush of his 
fingers over her hand. He hit the cut off button and gently eased 
the cellphone from her fingers.

	"I wasn't chastising you, Scully," he said around a soft 
smile, "you've been looking out for me for the last twenty four 
hours." His cool fingers brushed across her cheek tenderly, "You've 
gone without sleep. Without food." His smile grew wider and more 
softer, "I don't expect you to do everything for me. I'm quite 
capable of calling the hospital myself."	

	"I'm fine, Mulder, really," she said.

	"You're wiped out.  Get some sleep, I'll ring the hospital and 
then rustle us up some breakfast."

	"It's not necessary...  I don't need..." she began to 
protest, but his fingers stilled her lips.

	 "Trust me, Scully, I'm a doctor," he said with an 
authoritative voice.
	
	"You're not that kind of a doctor, Mulder" she told him with 
mock reproach in her voice, but a smile in her eyes.

	"Are you finding fault with my bedside manner, Doctor Scully?" 
His eyes, that were moments ago tender, now twinkled with 
unrestrained mischief once again.

	"I wouldn't know. I've never sampled your bedside manner," 
Scully replied and blushed profusely at the way that sounded.

	"I do believe the enigmatic Doctor Scully blushes." Her face 
reddened further at his teasing and he decided to take advantage of 
the situation by leaning in toward her. He watched as her blue eyes 
widened as his face inched toward hers, "Thought you were hoping to 
get lucky..." he whispered seductively against her lips just as he 
brushed his lightly across them. He felt her shudder with the 
contact.

	"Get some sleep, Scully." He pulled away and got to his feet.  
He headed toward the door taking the cellphone with him.

	"Mulder?" There was an unmistakable tremor in her voice and 
he turned back around to face her, "The kiss...  what was it for?" 
she asked.

	"To say thanks... for being here... for helping me get through 
this..." He pivoted back around and resumed his walk toward the door.  
As he stepped through it, he looked back over his shoulder at her,   
"And because I couldn't resist the temptation anymore. I've wanted 
to kiss you for years." He went through the door and closed it 
quietly behind him.

	Scully stared at the door for a minute as her mind processed 
his last remark. Languidly she fell back upon the unmade bed and 
stared at the ceiling, touching her lips where they still tingled 
slightly from his featherlight touch. She hadn't missed the shudder 
that had gone through her body when his lips had first made contact 
with hers, or how good it had felt either. **He'd wanted to kiss her 
for years...** 

	Was he pulling her leg? 

	If he wasn't, what the hell did it mean?
	
	"I think we're in a lot of trouble," she whispered softly to 
herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut. 3.15 p.m.

	The next day...


	The trip to the funeral home had been awful. Much worse 
than she had expected.

	Mulder had been subdued throughout the discussions concerning 
his sister's burial. The funeral director had tried to be polite and 
helpful, but he was met with a wall of silence from the tall FBI 
agent and had eventually become exasperated at his lack of progress.  
Scully for her part had tried to mediate between the two men, but she 
had little idea as to how Mulder wanted to handle these delicate 
proceedings. Finally, after meeting the same wall of silence as the 
funeral director had, she had taken him to one side to talk to him.

	"We don't have to do this today, if you don't feel like it." 
She had started to say but Mulder had cut her off with a quick slash 
of his hand in the air.

	"I don't want to do this!" He stated simply and looked away 
from her. 

	"Well...  we could come back tomorrow." Scully suggested, but 
he just shook his head impatiently as though she had missed some 
vital clue in a case they were working.

	"You don't understand," he said and he leaned down toward her 
diminishing her personal space, "I. don't. want. to. do. this!" He 
repeated his earlier remark, but with an emphasise on each and every 
word.

	"Mulder, I know this isn't easy for you," she started and 
once again he proceeded to cut her off before she could finish.

	"I don't want this responsibility." He raked an angry hand 
through his hair mussing it up, "I've had more than my fair share of 
taking the brunt of everything for the last twenty five years... and 
I don't want it anymore. I can't do this. I refuse to do this." He 
brushed past her and headed toward the glazed doorway leading out 
into the street beyond. 

	 Scully caught up with him before he reached it and grabbed him 
by the arm twisting him around, "Mulder, you're the only person who 
can.... Who else is going to do this if you won't?" she questioned 
him.

	"My dear devoted mother," he replied with unaccustomed venom 
in his voice, "oh.. but I forgot she's in deep denial mode right 
now." His hand settled on the handle on the door to open it. 

	"Do it for Samantha, Mulder," Scully said as she gently slid 
her fingers over his on the door handle, " she needs you to do this 
for her..."

	The force of his sudden pivot caused Scully to stumble backward 
a couple of steps and her hand left his as he spun around to face 
her.

	"DON'T!" He yelled at her as he jabbed a long index finger 
into her chest, "DON'T YOU DARE USE HER TO GUILT TRIP ME INTO DOING 
THIS!" The anger in his hazel eyes matched that of the other night 
when he was in the grip of the nightmare, but this time Scully knew 
that the full force of his anger was now directed at her and her 
alone.

	"I'm sorry." She kept her voice calm and low, "I didn't mean 
it to sound like that. You know I would *NEVER* do that to you." She 
put her hand again upon his arm and patted it gently. He relaxed a 
little and she couldn't help but feel that this little outburst was 
probably more directed at his parents than at her, even though her 
choice of words just now had been a poor one.

	"I just don't want to do this..." he repeated for the third 
time and he shook his head to emphasise his point, "This is just 
something that I never intended doing... you know?" 

	She nodded sadly at him, "Mulder, if I could wish for anything 
at this moment... I'd wish that this last week of your life had 
never happened." She gripped both his shoulders with her hands and 
gently shook them, "Jesus, Mulder, I'd even wish that the last 
twenty-five years of your life hadn't happened if it would take away 
the pain that you're feeling right now." Her hands slipped down his 
arms until they held his hands softly in hers, "But I can't... all 
I can give you is my support and a promise that no matter what it 
takes, I'm gonna get you through this." She gave him a small smile 
and squeezed his hands in hers.

	He ducked his head down and she thought that maybe he was 
hiding tears from her view. She was also aware that the funeral 
director had been watching them from his position behind a desk and 
would at any minute ask them if he could be of any help. She didn't 
want Mulder to have to show the extent of his grief to this man, even 
if he had dealt with grieving relatives everyday, this was much too 
personal to the tall man before her.

	 "Would it help if I had a word with the funeral director?  
Maybe get him to make a few suggestions regarding the service." She 
ducked her head a little to get some eye contact with his bowed head, 
"Until you're ready to proceed.... if that is still what you want to 
do."

	His head rose up and she could see the tracks on his face where 
the tears had been shed, "I never wanted to bury her, Scully. All I 
ever wanted to do was bring her home safely." He furrowed his 
eyebrows into an intense frown that creased up his forehead and 
narrowed his still watery eyes, "I wonder what another psychologist 
would make of me leaving out this scenario?" His voice was like that 
of a sad little boy and his shoulders shrugged as he finished his 
musing.

	"I don't know, Mulder, but I know what I would say?" she 
whispered and he raised his head further to meet her eyes.

	"I'd say that Samantha was blessed to have a brother like you.  
One who dedicated his entire adult life to search for her. It may 
not have turned out the way that you wanted it to, but you do have 
her back and she'll always have a safe and secure place right here." 
She tapped the spot where his heart was in his chest lightly with her 
hand, "And that's more than many living sisters can say."

	"Will you help me?" His voice broke off and he swallowed 
hard before continuing, "Help me with the arrangements? I don't 
think I could do this on my own, Scully." 

	"Do you really need to ask?" She stood on tiptoe and ran her 
hands down his flushed cheeks to wipe away the evidence of his tears. 
She felt his hot face nuzzle briefly against the palm of her hand as 
she caressed his tears away and she felt an almost physical pain at 
the sorrow that she felt for him. How on earth could his mother 
betray him at a time like this? She just couldn't fathom it at all 
and the only thing her pondering did was to make her own resolve that 
much more stronger.

	"You know, the Irish believe that a funeral and the wake 
thereafter should be a celebration of a life... that it should be a 
happy occasion full of the joy for the memory of the departed and not 
remembered for the sorrow and misery of the final goodbye." She took 
his hand in hers and walked them both slowly toward the awaiting 
funeral director who was watching them with a concerned look on his 
face, "I think we should treat Samantha's funeral the same way, as a 
celebration of a life tragically cut short... but we should also 
remember all the joy that she brought to your life, Mulder, and all 
the happy moments that you both shared together."

	She felt his fingers tighten on her hand as they finally 
reached the spot they had vacated minutes before. Mulder sat down 
unsteadily, his hand not leaving the warm grip of the woman next to 
him. His watery gaze met with that of the sombre looking funeral 
director across the polished desk.

	"We'd like to see a sample of your children's caskets.... 
preferably white... silk lined and brass handled. The floral 
arrangement should be lilies, irises and white roses..." His lips 
curled in a small smile, "Oh... and daises.... as many daises as you 
can get...." He turned to Scully, "She always loved daises. She said 
the tall ones reminded her of me..." His eyes misted over, "I want 
her to have a reminder of me...."

	 Scully smiled and nodded slowly before turning her attention 
to the man behind the desk, "The service will be small, and 
conducted at the graveside." She looked over at Mulder knowingly, a 
tender look in her eye, "And we'll be needing the services of a 
Rabbi." She saw Mulder's eyes open wide at her revelation.           
"Preferably a Reform Rabbi not Orthodox and..." She stopped and 
stared at her wide eyed partner "I'm sorry, Mulder, I'm not as well 
educated in Judaism as I am in the Catholic traditions regarding 
funerals.... is the Kaddish a part of the normal service or will we 
have to ask for it separately?"

	His smile widened showing a row of pearly white teeth and his 
eyes told her that he was going to ask her later how she knew he had 
been brought up in the Jewish faith. He was especially interested as 
he had left it off of his records at the bureau. He also knew that 
she probably already knew the answer to her question and that she was 
using this moment to ask, in her own inimitable way, whether he 
approved. 

	 "It's a part of the traditional service, Dana, but thank you 
for asking." He knew his reply would be his own cryptic acceptance.

  	"We would also like to hire the services of a groundskeeper, 
if that's necessary to keep the gravesite maintained," she 
continued, "we're out of town a lot and need somebody who will keep 
the site looked after until *we* can get up to do it ourselves." 

She saw the deep look of gratitude cross over her partner's 
face, not only for the foresight she had shown, but also in the way 
in which she had included herself in the overall responsibility of 
the gravesite.

	"Is there anything else?" The funeral director asked as he 
finished scribbling down their details.

	"No," Mulder replied appreciatively, "I think she's got it 
all covered." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut,
	
	Later the same day...

	Skinner had been as good as his word and had sent all the 
relevant data that Scully had asked for up to her by messenger. The 
package had been awaiting her when she and Mulder had arrived back at 
the small hotel after spending that afternoon making the funeral 
arrangements. Luckily Mulder had gone straight to his room 
complaining of a headache and hadn't seen the large padded manila 
envelope that had been awaiting her in the lobby.

	Now that same envelope sat unopened upon the small writing desk 
in her room. Scully sat in the old overstuffed chair in the corner 
of the room staring fixatedly at the yellow envelope. She couldn't 
bring herself to open it. It was as if she knew deep down the 
contents already.  

	**Well you know enough to already have a pretty good idea what 
it's gonna say, Dana.** She told herself, but still she made no move 
toward the package.  

	She took a sip of the coffee that she had purchased in the 
lobby and savoured the bitter tasting liquid before swallowing.

	**Just do it, Dana. Get it over with. The sooner you open the 
damn thing... the sooner you'll know if you're right.** She grimaced 
at the thought, **What if I am right? How can I tell him that?**

	Finally running out of anymore reasons not to open the envelope 
she stood and made her way to the table. Grasping the package in her 
hand tightly she proceeded to tear open the top and pull out the 
contents, placing them against the now redundant envelope. Slowly 
she started to read the data of the tests that she had asked to be 
carried out.

	Her blue eyes widened perceptively as she read the words and as 
she reached the last paragraph of the report she couldn't stop the 
gasp from escaping her now wide open mouth.

	"Oh.... sweet Mary mother of God!" she whispered to herself 
as she closed her eyes and pressed the sheets of paper tightly 
against her chest. When she opened them again she forced herself to 
re-read the last few paragraphs of the report to make perfectly sure 
that she hadn't missed anything.  

	The results were even worse than she had first thought.  She 
hadn't really been expecting any surprises, she had suspected most of 
what the report had confirmed for her, but the last few paragraphs 
had indeed held an extra secret that only now had been revealed.

	"Oh, Mulder." She stared across the room at the communicating 
door knowing that he was probably sleeping soundly upon the other 
side, "Why is it that your life just keeps getting more and more 
complicated?"

	She shook her head regretfully and sighed deeply. There was 
now no way that she would even contemplate keeping the information 
that she knew from him. Telling him, however, was going to be hard 
and she suspected that it would exact a high price from her.... maybe 
even cost her the precious relationship that she had nurtured between 
the tortured man next door and herself.

	She glanced briefly at her watch noticing that Mulder had been 
asleep for a couple of hours. Knowing how he rarely slept more than 
a few hours anyway, she knew that he would soon be rousing and that 
she could wait to give him the news. In the meantime she decided that 
in order to prepare herself she would take a quick shower and gather 
her thoughts.

	She locked the documents into her briefcase and quickly 
undressed. Grabbing her robe and toiletries, she went into the 
bathroom and started contemplating just how she was going to break 
this news to him. At the same time she couldn't help but wonder how 
he was going to take the startling revelations she had uncovered? Of 
more importance to her; was whether they'd still have any kind of a 
relationship left afterwards.

*********************************************************************

Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut,7.15 p.m.

	She glanced at her reflection in the small vanity mirror and 
couldn't help but notice the worry that registered upon her pale 
face.  

	She sighed. She had put this moment off long enough, if she 
didn't do this now then she knew that she'd never do it. Picking up 
her comb she took a few seconds to run it through the shiny auburn 
locks and watched as they fell into perfect place around her 
shoulders.

	Giving herself a last once over she turned and headed for the 
bed where the documents lay undisturbed upon its surface. She picked 
them up reluctantly and turned again, this time toward the door 
leading to Mulder's room. She knocked on the door lightly, almost 
hesitantly and waited for his signal for her to come in.

	"I'm decent, Scully, so you can come on in." Her hand went 
for the door handle, "Although I could be lying in which case you 
may be about to get a thrill of a lifetime." She smiled to herself 
and wrenched the door open anyway stepping through quickly and 
shutting the door behind her in one swift movement.

	"It wouldn't be the first time I've seen you naked, Mulder," 
she replied in all seriousness, "believe me you haven't got anything 
that I haven't seen before." She hid the small smile of pleasure 
with an effort as she registered his eyes widen at her remark. She 
was teasing him and she knew that he knew it. She leaned against the 
closed door and studied him for a moment taking her time to drink in 
the very essence of the man before her. 

	He lay fully clothed upon the motel room bed one arm lazily 
propping up his head, while the other held the remote as he surfed 
the channels of the small tv in the corner of the room. His hair was 
tousled with wisps of hair flying in all directions like a 
schoolboy's and his eyes were a warm soft hazel. His long frame 
looked languid as it sprawled across the bed, his long legs crossed 
at the ankle and his bare feet poking out of his sweatpants. He 
looked more relaxed than he had in several days and Scully was loathe 
to break his good mood.
	
	 Her stomach muscles tightened as she remembered the documents 
in her hand and the reason behind her appearance in his room tonight.  
Once again she couldn't stop her thoughts from wondering if their 
relationship would survive the conversation that they were about to 
embark upon. A deep pain filled her heart and emanated outward to all 
her extremities making them tingle with the dullness of the fearful 
ache that she had inside.

	She couldn't lose his friendship, it meant way too much to her, 
but right now she knew she was about to gamble with it and all 
because Skinner had deemed it fit to hide something from the original 
report.

	Something that she had allowed to be hidden. Now she must face 
the consequences for both their actions and she wondered if the price 
may be one that was too high to pay.

	"How's the headache?" she asked as a means of starting the 
overdue conversation.

	"Down to a dull thud. I think the couple of hours sleep did 
me some good." He shifted a little on the mattress and glanced 
toward her, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company tonight?" 

	She took a couple of steps in from the door and nodded toward 
the softly playing tv set in the corner, "Could you turn that off, 
Mulder, we need to talk."

	His face changed from relaxed to tense in the space of a 
heartbeat as he took in the seriousness of her voice and he complied 
with her wishes and turned the tv off. The room fell silent and he 
glanced at her again. Her posture was rigid and tense, she looked 
worried and that in itself alerted him that something was wrong, but 
he didn't know what. His eyes wandered over her body until they came 
to rest on the documents that she was holding limply in her right 
hand. His eyes narrowed in curiosity.

	"What's that?" He jutted his chin out in the direction of her 
hand.

	"The reason I need to talk to you," she replied quietly and 
he saw that her eyes refused to meet his.  

	"Scully..." He sat up straighter on the bed and locked his 
gaze on the small frame of his partner, "What's going on?"

	She crossed rigidly to the bed and sat down upon its edge, the 
mattress barely moving under her weight as she fidgeted to get in a 
comfortable position. She placed the documents that she held on the 
surface between them, but as Mulder moved to take them in his hand 
she stopped him by placing her own hand over them, palm down.

	"Before you read these I need to tell you something." Her 
eyes finally rose to meet with his and he drew back physically as he 
registered the look of fear and worry that he saw in their blue 
depths.

	Scully took a moment to compose herself before she continued.  
He watched as her eyes slid shut and she inhaled deeply, almost as 
though she were getting ready to do battle. His body broke out in a 
prickly sweat as his mind tried to fathom that concept.

	Her eyes opened once again and found his, "I've been keeping 
something from you. Something that's been withheld from the original 
report that the Medical Examiner made on Samantha's autopsy."

	"What are you talking about?" Mulder's voice was low and soft 
in the silent room.

	"There was something in the original report that was missing 
from the file that Skinner sent to us at the airport..." She 
hesitated trying to find the right words to use to make this easier, 
but unfortunately none were forthcoming, "Skinner thought..." She 
shook her head, "No, that's not right, in a way it was a joint 
decision...." She cleared her throat, "*We* thought that maybe 
something's were better left unsaid... at least for the time being."

	"What kind of things?" There was a flicker of anger in his 
voice as she knew there would be.
	
	"Mulder.."
	
	"What kind of things, Scully?" His voice was more forceful 
now and his irritability was gaining strength.

	"Mulder, you have to try and understand that we thought we 
were doing the right thing. You were already so grief-stricken, we 
didn't think we could add this to your burden. I didn't know if you 
could take knowing the full extent of..."

	 He broke in angrily, "Stop stalling, Scully, and answer the 
fucking question? What did you hold back from me? What was so 
fucking bad that you and Skinner felt you had to protect my already 
bruised psyche from it?" His eyes bored into hers with a fiery glint 
to them.

	She stared into his gleaming eyes sadly. She couldn't think of 
a single thing to say that would deaden the blow that he was about to 
receive. There was no way that she could sweeten the bitter pill 
that she was about to make him swallow. She knew how much this was 
going to hurt him and she felt totally powerless to stop it. Her 
eyes filled with unaccustomed tears as she realised that she had to 
just come out and say the words and then hope he would still allow 
her to pick up the pieces that would be left after this bombshell was 
dropped.

	"She was raped. He raped her, Mulder." Her voice shook and 
cracked on his name.
	
	Mulder jerked back at her words as though stung by them. His 
mouth opened and his lips tried to form words, but none came out.  
She could see his tongue moving against the palate at the top of his 
mouth, his head was trying to shake in denial to her words but his 
body just couldn't move. Tears filled his eyes and he tried to blink 
them away repeatedly. A tear poised on the tip of one of his long 
lashes ready to fall onto his cheek.

	He just stared at her in numbed silence.

	"The Medical Examiner found traces of semen on the remains of 
her clothing... of course because of the skeletal remains we can't be 
sure that full penetration took place, but the presence of semen 
suggests that..." She broke off abruptly and ran a hand over her 
eyes.  God she had sounded so damn clinical as though she were 
speaking to him about any other case. He didn't need this right 
now... he didn't need a fucking blow by blow description, that more 
than likely was already going on in his head.

	The room became so quite that she wondered whether if she 
listened hard enough she would hear their hearts thudding in their 
chests. Mulder was still silent although he had closed his mouth, 
but his eyes were still glowing like hot coals behind the watery 
shield of his unshed tears.
	
	"How long have you known?" He bit out the question between 
tightly clenched teeth and she thought that was a sign of him trying 
desperately to hold onto his composure in her presence.

	"Since the meeting in Skinner's office. Although I didn't 
make the connection with your father until your memory of that night 
returned. Once I made the connection, I had some tests ran at 
Quantico using your father's DNA sample that we have on file. The 
results arrived by messenger today." She took her hand off the pile 
of documents that she had been resting it on, "All the data is here 
for you to look at, along with the original Medical Examiner's 
report."

	"Three days," Mulder mumbled under his breath.  He brushed 
the stubborn tear away with the back of his hand and glared at her 
again, "you knew for three days and you didn't tell me!"

	The accusation in his voice was more than evident to her as 
well as the hurt that he felt from her withholding any kind of 
information from him.

	"Mulder, you were already hurting so much..." she stopped 
when he intensified the glare even further. She tapped her thumb and 
forefinger against her lips before opening them and letting her teeth 
graze against the sensitive pads in nervous frustration, "I'm 
sorry... I thought I was doing the right thing."

	"So what happened?" he spat at her contemptuously, "get a 
guilty conscience?" He suddenly jumped up off the bed and stalked 
around the room, "I thought I could trust you, Scully."

	"You can.." she replied.

	"No. I can't. You kept this from me." His voice was beginning 
to rise again, "You and Skinner decided to keep me out of the loop.  
If you can do it on this... then how do I know you don't do it on 
other things that you both don't want me to know?" 

	"Mulder, that's ridiculous. This is the first time that I've 
done something like this...." She ran a hand through her hair, "Do 
you think this was easy for me....  to watch you trying so hard to 
keep everything together... watching you make it through the darkest 
couple of days of your life when all the time I knew there was more 
pain to come.... that wasn't easy, Mulder."

	"Then *why* did you do it?  *Why* did you betray my trust in 
*You!*" He slammed his fist into the table by the window wanting 
nothing more than to lash out at something... anything than the woman 
in the room with him.

	"I swear to you, Mulder, you can still trust me. Don't you 
understand that I couldn't take the risk of telling you so soon after 
you finding her body. You were so close to the edge that I was 
frightened, Mulder. I was frightened that if I told you it would 
push you over that edge and you'd never come back. Never come back 
to *me!*" She stopped short knowing that she had already probably 
said too much, but also knowing that in his anger he hadn't really 
listened to her anyway.

	"I would *NEVER* have done this to you, Scully, " he stated 
vehemently, "*Never!*"

	"But you already have, Mulder."

	That brought him up short and he spun around to stare at her, 
the anger in his eyes still evident and smouldering.
		
	"I have *NEVER*... " he began, but she broke in before he could 
finish.

	"My ova!" That's all she said as she returned to the bed and 
sat down again on its edge.

	He didn't have an answer to that. It was true and he knew that 
she knew it. He had kept her out of the loop that time because he 
felt that she wouldn't be able to take the news of her sterility on 
top of the diagnosis of her cancer. 

	But that had been different.  Hadn't it? 

	All of a sudden his legs were refusing to take his weight and 
he felt that he had to sit down before he collapsed. He glanced at 
the bed, but Scully was sitting there and he didn't really trust 
himself being that close to her just yet. He settled for the old 
overstuffed chair next to the table and sunk down into it heavily.

	"That was different," he finally said.

	"How so?" she countered.

	"You had just been diagnosed with cancer..." he replied 
quickly.

	"You had just been told that your sister was dead..." she 
retorted, but without any malice in her voice, "there's no 
difference, Mulder. Let's cut the fucking crap and face the truth." 
She saw him glance up at her with wide eyes at her use of an 
unaccustomed expletive.

	 "We're both capable of withholding things from each other.... 
but thankfully we only do it in an effort, albeit an misguided one, 
to protect the other. That's all I was doing, Mulder, even though I 
knew it was wrong. Even though I knew you would react in just this 
way. I was only trying to protect you from more pain. Just as you 
did when you withheld the information about my inability to have 
children."

	He winced at her choice of words even though he knew that it 
was the truth. No matter how he tried to avoid it he also knew that 
she was right that they did withhold things from each other.  
Personal things.... things that each of them knew the other may not 
want to hear and sometimes if he were honest with himself he withheld 
things from himself too.... emotions that he wasn't entirely ready to 
explore yet. Even so, it still made it hard for his stubborn 
character to forgive her easily.

	"Is there anything else you're withholding, Scully?  Anything 
else that I need to know?" 

	He saw her take a deep breath and he sighed loudly, "Oh God!   
There's more... isn't there?"

	She nodded slowly at him and nibbled at her bottom lip with her 
teeth, "But it's nothing that's been kept from you." 

**Not that it makes it any better,** she thought to herself.

"It's something that was thrown up when they did the tests that 
I had asked for." She gathered up the papers on the bed and held them 
out to him, "Maybe it would be better if you just read the results 
for yourself."

	He shook his head and waved the papers away, "You know I don't 
understand that scientific stuff, you'd only have to explain it to me 
anyhow.... so spill it, Scully."

	"I think I know why your father was so upset the night of 
Samantha's death." He cocked his head at her in surprise, "I think 
somehow he found out the same thing I did today."

	"What was that?" he asked quietly, not even knowing whether 
he was ready to absorb even more revelations about his family.

	"There's no easy way to say this..." She bit down on her lip 
again nervously, "But it would appear from the DNA analysis that 
Samantha was not your father's daughter."

	"What!?" He leaned forward in his chair, "That can't be."

	"I'm afraid it is. The tests prove it conclusively. Your 
father was not Samantha's biological father."

	Mulder digested this new information as he sat silently in the 
chair. His father had brutally raped his eight year old sister and 
then murdered her. Suddenly his sister's screams inside that locked 
bedroom took on a whole new meaning.

	**Oh Christ...  Oh, Jesus Christ....** His hands began to 
shake in earnest as his mind supplied him with the memories of those 
last few moments. Sam's frantic screams for her father to stop 
hurting her. His banging and kicking of the bedroom door. His 
sister's last strangled cries.

	**No! Daddy..... No!**

	He screwed his eyes shut as the pain engulfed him again. His 
hands clenched shakily at his side into a fist and he beat them 
against his thighs to counteract the pain that his mind was 
supplying.

	"Jesus!" he said as he finally managed to get control of his 
voice, "That's why he said the things he said." He ran a trembling 
hand through his hair, "He must have found out my Mom was playing 
away from home." He stared at nothing for a while as his mind 
contemplated this information, then he looked directly at Scully.  

	"Am I my father's son?" he asked in a dull whisper.

	"Yes," she replied and she saw his shoulders sag.  She 
guessed that maybe he was hoping that he wasn't related to that sick 
son of a bitch, but that hadn't been the case.

	"So Samantha was only my half sister then?" It was a sad 
statement rather than a question and Scully left it unanswered.

	"She was still your sister, Mulder, whether you shared the 
same father or not." 

	He nodded weakly in agreement and ran a hand once again through 
his hair in deep thought. Scully sat in silence watching as the 
inner turmoil played out upon her partner's expressive face. The 
pain and fear that she saw soon gave way to revulsion at his father's 
acts. That emotion was soon superseded by anger and his countenance 
suddenly became dark.  

	"That *FILTHY* sonofabitch! That lying...  sick .... fucking 
bastard..." Tears brimmed and fell down his cheeks, his hand lashed 
out at the nearby table and picked up the nearest object. He hurled 
it with all his might at the nearest wall and it smashed into tiny 
pieces before falling into a heap on the floor.

	"He lied to me for years." He stood up rigidly, "That 
motherfucker made me believe that I had lost her...  That I had let 
them take her away." He began to slowly pace back and forth like a 
caged tiger, "He knew what he had done all along and those bastards 
he worked with covered it up." A sob broke from his chest, "He 
raped her!  That.  Filthy.  Lying.  Sonovabitch.  Raped Her!!!"

	He made a noise that sounded like a wounded animal. A long 
keening wail of anguish and pain. He needed to feel the pain and 
before he knew what he was doing he had crossed to the wall and began 
repeatedly smashing his fist into it. The pain of the impact shot up 
his arm, white hot and intoxicating. His mind vaguely registered 
Scully shouting at him to stop, but he ignored her and continued to 
take out his anger on the motel room wall.  

	Scully was forced into action as she watched his fist make 
contact with the hard wall over and over again. His knuckles split 
and tiny rivulets of blood smeared the old faded wallpaper. She 
rushed from her place on his bed and pulled back his arm before he 
could do more damage to himself. 

	He froze.

	Slowly he looked down at her hands holding his elbow in check 
and his eyes registered the blood that was trickling over his hand.  
He looked back at his partner, her wide eyes telegraphing to him her 
fear and concern for his welfare. He pulled his arm away from her 
sharply and allowed a cold glance to pass across his face. She 
wasn't forgiven for keeping this information from him. Right now he 
couldn't bear her touching him... let alone her concern.

	"Mulder," Her voice was soft and low and there was an 
unmistakable edge of guilt attached to it, "please don't shut me 
out, Mulder..."	

	He took a step away from her and then another, distancing 
himself physically from her. He watched as her chin dipped down onto 
her chest in resignation at his defensive posture. He thought he 
could detect the faintest hitch of her shoulders as though she were 
holding back a sob.

	"I'm gonna go for a run." He stood up and crossed to the 
closet. He took out his running shoes and rummaged in the nearest 
drawer for some socks to put on, "I need some time alone to think 
things through." He finished dressing and headed for the front door, 
"I need to think *all* of this through." He reached for the door 
handle ignoring Scully still standing in the same spot, "Don't wait 
up, Scully. I don't know how long I'll be gone." He stepped through 
the door and closed it behind him.

	The room was suddenly unbearably quiet. She stood still in the 
silence gazing at the door he had walked through before slowly 
scrutinising the rest of the room. The papers that she had brought 
with her were still lying in a heap in the centre of the bed. She 
crossed to them and picked them up squinting in the dull light to 
read the words printed on them.

	In a fit of pure anger that surprised her in its sudden 
ferocity she spun around and hurled the papers at the far wall. The 
documents broke apart from their bindings and fluttered around the 
room, gently coming to a rest in a puddle on the floor. She sank 
down onto the mattress her head going into her hands.

	"Bastard!" she screamed through her hands, " You bastard... 
Bill Mulder.  How could you do this to him?" A sob that she had been 
holding back broke free, followed hot on its tail by the first of her 
tears, "How can you do this to me?" 

	She sank back further onto the mattress tucking herself into a 
protective ball, her arms hugging her knees as she let the tears 
fall. Is this what the Consortium wanted?  To tear Mulder apart blow 
by sickening blow. Losing his quest for his sister. Losing his 
belief in the memories that he had adhered to for decades and by a 
lack of judgement on her part... losing her in the process.

	Was this how it was all going to finally end?

	Her sobs gave way to punctuated hiccups until her breathing 
evened out and she fell into a tortured slumber curled up in the 
centre of Mulder's bed.


Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich, 
Connecticut,11.21pm.

	She felt the heavy dip of the mattress next to her body and 
awoke with a start. A warm pair of hands grasped her shoulders and 
pushed her gently, but firmly back upon the bed.

	"Relax, it's only me, Scully, it's okay. Go back to sleep." 
His soothing voice forced its way into her sleep fogged brain and she 
felt a comforting warmth at its sound. He smelt of shower gel and 
shampoo and his still damp hair brushed against her neck as she felt 
him nestle down next to her upon the bed.

	"I should go," she started to say sleepily and made to rise 
again only to be gently lowered to the bed once more.

	"There's no reason for you to go." She felt him brush her 
hair away from her forehead and opened her eyes. The room was dark 
apart from the moonlight that filtered through the open curtains to 
cast an almost eerie silver light across the bed, "You're tired go 
back to sleep." 

	She felt him shift the comforter from under them and then the 
warmth and comforting weight of the duvet covered her body along with 
his.

	"Mulder," she mumbled.

	"Shush, it's late." He snuggled in close to her and she could 
feel the heat of his body through the thin T-shirt that she wore.  
	
	"I still think it would be better if I spent the night in my 
own room," she said half heartedly and she knew he had picked up on 
it as he chuckled lightly next to her.

	"Whatsamatter, Scully, don't you trust me?" he asked in a low 
whisper.

	"I don't think I trust myself," she whispered back just as 
softly.

	He chuckled again against her back and then surprised the hell 
out of her by slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her body 
back against him until he was spooning his body around hers.

	"Take the sweatpants off, Dana," he told her and he felt her 
stiffen in his embrace.

	"What!?" She almost stammered the question and heat suffused 
her cheeks, burning them until she thought they might be glowing in 
the darkened room. Mulder laughed throatily behind her and she could 
feel the warmth of his breath on her face.

	"They're too restrictive. You won't be able to sleep 
comfortably with them on," he whispered in her ear, "take them 
off."

	"They're no different from pyjama bottoms, Mulder, and I think 
it'll be safer if I keep them on." She felt rather than heard the 
mirth in his body at her reply.

	"You can rest assured that you're perfectly safe with me, Dana.  
I swear I won't molest you in the night.... unless you want to be 
molested of course.... in which case I'm your man." 

	Was he testing her trust in him? Was that what all this was 
about? Did he think they needed testing in how far they could trust 
one another?

	She sighed to herself and began fidgeting around in the bed. A 
moment later the sweatpants along with her socks were discarded over 
the side of the bed. She was more than aware that she was now 
dressed in nothing more than a flimsy T-shirt, no bra and a pair of 
bikini briefs. What's more here she was in her partner's bed with 
his lanky body practically wrapped around hers.

	If this is what he needed to prove that their trust in one 
another was still intact who was she to deny him. Anyway she had to 
admit it felt good to have his body nestled against hers.  

	"Nite, Mulder," she said around a yawn and she felt him 
tighten his hold on her.

	"Nite, Scully," he replied. She relaxed again and found that 
she wasn't that far away from sleep, but just as she began to doze 
off he spoke again, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

	"I deserved it, Mulder. In fact I was half expecting it, so 
don't beat yourself up over it."

	"Still.... you were only trying to do the right thing." She 
felt his lips brush against her hair before moving away.

	Against her better judgement she turned around in the bed to 
face him. His eyes were hooded in the dark light of the room, but 
she could make out the whites of his eyes as he gazed at her.

	"Mulder I deserved everything I got. I felt like a shit 
withholding that information from you. The only consolation I had 
for doing it was the fact that I didn't think that you could mentally 
handle it, but it didn't stop me from still feeling like a total 
shit!"

	His arms tightened fractionally around her body and he gave her 
a gentle squeeze, "I'm the shit," he stated matter of factly. "I 
keep things from you too, like not telling you about the ova. Then I 
expect *you* to be the more noble one of the partnership and tell 
me everything. You could say I got my just dessert today."

	"For what it's worth, I've already forgiven you for not telling 
me about the ova." Came her whispered reply, "Don't get me wrong!  
I was as mad as hell at you when I found out, but deep down I could 
understand why you did it."

	He bent down before she could stop him and brushed his lips 
against hers tenderly.

	"I'd say that our slates are now clean, wouldn't you?" He 
leaned in and brushed her lips again, slower this time and more 
deliberately.

	"Let's just forget about it, okay?" And as his lips 
approached this time she dodged them.

	"Scully?..." he enquired.

	"I think it's safer if we just both went to sleep," she 
whispered as she gazed up into his eyes. Eyes that were now twinkling 
again even in the dark with his restrained mischief.

	"I've never liked safe, Scully," he declared as he moved his 
hands to cup her face between them, "safe just isn't in my 
vocabulary." He pulled her toward him and captured her lips with 
his, holding her face still in his hands as his lips gently moved 
over hers.

	Alarm bells were ringing loud and clear in Scully's head, but 
somehow her body was ignoring them. She found her own hands slipping 
up his chest. A chest that was exquisitely bare and firm, with a 
delectable mound of soft, silky chest hair that at this very second 
she was running her fingers through.

	Oh Lord, what on earth was she doing?

	His lips were soft and warm as they nuzzled over hers, nipping 
and tugging at her bottom lip trying to tease her into opening her 
mouth for his full assault. His tongue brushed against her lips and 
she was gone. She opened up to him on a soft moan and felt the wet 
slide of his tongue as it slipped into her mouth to run over her 
teeth.  

	Her hands ran over his chest and shoulders until they reached 
his neck. There she ran them up into his still damp hair and pulled 
him down further toward her to deepen the kiss. His body moved then 
to cover hers with his warm weight, she shifted under him and spread 
her legs to accommodate his body cradling his pelvis in between the 
softness of her thighs.

	Then she felt him through the material of his boxers. He was 
rock solid and she could feel him pulsating against her thigh. She 
pulled back from the kiss and took air into her oxygen starved lungs.  
Her lips trembled from the force of their kisses and her body shook 
from the fire that was threatening to consume her. She stared 
silently up into eyes that she knew would be filled with desire for 
her. 

 Her partner lay atop her quivering body, his weight being 
comfortably taken on his forearms so as not to crush her, his own 
ragged breath coming out in small puffs that stirred her hair.

	"I could tell you not to think about this, Scully, to just 
feel, but I know that's not who you are." His soft whisper ruffled 
the hair against her cheek as he spoke and it brushed softly against 
her skin, "So instead I'm gonna ask you to take your time.... to 
think this through because no matter how much I want to make love to 
you right now... It's more important to me that you don't regret it 
in the morning." He kissed her cheek softly before rolling off of 
her body to lay on his back next to her.

	A wave of affection shot through her body. How many men would 
have done that for her? How many would have pulled themselves back 
from the brink in order for her to be the one to decide whether they 
took this any further or not?  She knew most men wouldn't have been 
so chivalrous in the circumstances, but somehow Mulder had picked up 
on her own hesitancy.

	God it had all happened so fast. One minute they were talking 
and the next...  the next they were an hair's breadth away from 
making love.  

	She tried to steady her breathing until it was less ragged and 
more even. Her body missed the warmth of his covering her even 
though the comforter still draped across her. She could feel her 
heart thudding loudly in her chest and for the first time she became 
acutely aware of the wet, sticky feeling of her own arousal as it 
cooled in the crotch of her panties.

	Jesus what were they about to do? Alright she knew what they 
were about to do, they were about to careen madly out of control on a 
cocktail of hormones. But she had wanted it too, hadn't she? Christ 
how could she deny it.. the bloody evidence was all over her panties 
for godsake!

	As though to further answer her own question, her groin began 
to throb with an urgency that she had nearly forgotten that it was 
capable of. She wanted him, she could no longer deny that.... not 
just any man, but him.  

	Mulder.

	She had known it for a long time, but had steadfastly refused 
to do anything about it. Now it would appear that fate and 
circumstance were conspiring to do it for her. Was it right to do 
this now? What if he were only reacting to the great levels of 
stress that he had been under these last few days? What if she were?  
She had to know.... she had to ask him.

	"Mulder.." Her voice was soft and timid even to her own ears.
	
	"Hmm," She felt him shift onto his side, but he didn't touch 
her. He was keeping his distance so as not to influence what had to 
be in the end her decision.

	"Did you want to make love to just any woman tonight.... or 
was it specifically me?"

	"You already know the answer to that question, Dana." His 
voice was low and soft and the way he said her Christian name sent a 
thrill through her body.

	"Maybe I do... but I still need to hear you say it, Mulder."

	"I only wanted to make love to you, Dana. I *still* only want 
to make love to you." His hand rested gently on her abdomen and she 
felt the weight of it rise and fall with every breath that she took.  
	 
	She had the confirmation that she had needed. Now it was up to 
her to make the final decision. What would she do? Stop things now 
before everything went too far... or take this moment between them 
to its ultimate destination... to the place that she knew they had 
been heading for since the day she walked into his life five years 
before.

	It was strange in a way because she felt no fear, no 
apprehension whatsoever. Maybe it was knowing that this had always 
been an inevitable outcome or maybe it was because of the total trust 
that she felt in the man lying next to her.  

	She didn't know.  At this point she didn't really care.

	She turned slowly onto her side and stared up into the darkened 
shadows where Mulder's face gazed at her. She wished that she could 
see his face if only to read his eyes, but somehow it seemed right to 
do this the first time in the dark. There would be many times for 
them to watch each other in the future, but right now all she really 
wanted to do was feel.

	Her hand reached out and cupped his face feeling the prickly 
sensation of his stubble as it grazed the palm of her hand.

	"No regrets, Mulder." She wasn't totally sure, but she 
thought she saw the gleam of his teeth as he smiled at her.

	"Do you trust me, Scully?" he asked her and she felt his warm 
hand stroke up the inside of her arm. The feelings that that 
innocent gesture evoked almost stopped her from answering his 
question, but at the last second she was able to pull her thoughts 
together enough to answer him.

	"With my life," she said. 

	"What about with your body, Dana, and more importantly, what 
about with your heart?"

	She took a moment to process what he had said. As always with 
Mulder he was asking a very different question than the one that had 
been posed. Of course he wanted an answer to that one also, but more 
important to him was knowing that she understood that what they were 
about to embark upon meant more to him than the purely physical.

	"I trust you with everything that I am, Mulder. Everything."

	He moved to take her into his arms and pulled her over his 
prone body. His hand went to the nape of her neck and tangled in 
her hair as it spilled out over his fingers. His other hand drew 
down her back and rested in that special place that she had come to 
call his. It stilled at the small of her back and he stroked her 
there softly.

	"Be very aware that this is much more than a roll in the hay 
with me." His voice was all seriousness. He wanted her to know the 
full extent of what getting involved with him could mean, "I never 
do things by halves, Dana, you know that about me. That extends into 
my sex life too. I'm intense...  sometimes I think I'm too intense, 
but that's just the way I am."

	Her fingers grazed across his jaw before smoothing over his 
lips. He shuddered at the touch and drew in a gasp of air.

	"I can take whatever you have to give, Mulder, don't you know 
that by now?" Her fingers stopped their perusal of his lips and she 
replaced them with her tongue, brushing it swiftly over the surface 
of his bottom lip. His body tensed below her and his hips rose 
slightly off the bed to rub sensually against hers.

	"It's not about what you can take, Scully," he replied a 
little breathlessly. He was fighting against his body's instinct to 
cut out the talking and just get on with the physical part of loving 
her, but he desperately needed to get things straight with her. He 
couldn't allow himself to take her body without her knowing exactly 
what that entailed, "it's more a question of what you can give?"

	He drew her to him and touched his lips against hers tenderly.  
She made to deepen the contact, but he drew back and ran his hand 
down one pale cheek, "As far as I'm concerned this is the real 
thing. Should we become lovers tonight it will be forever." His 
hand stilled at her jaw and he gently ran his thumb across her bottom 
lip mirroring the actions of her tongue on his lip seconds before.

	 "Can you give me that kind of commitment, Scully? Because if 
you can't... if all you're thinking about is a short term 
relationship...  then I don't want to know. I'm sorry, but with me 
it's all or nothing. I've been hurt too many times in the past to 
contemplate anything else."

	All or nothing. Was she ready for that kind of a commitment?  
She didn't think that she had ever given all of herself to anyone, 
certainly not with Jack and that had been her last serious 
relationship. Could she do that with Mulder? Could she give herself 
entirely to him?  Body. Mind. and Soul?

	It would mean opening up to him on a level that they had never 
allowed before. To let him know all her secrets...  all her 
fears....  all the things she kept locked up tight inside. Could she 
really do that?  

	Christ she had wanted to. For most of her adult life she had 
yearned to share these things with someone... to share it with the 
one person who would be the love of her life....  the man she would 
share the rest of her life with.  

	Was Mulder that man?	

	Forever. The word scared her, it scared the shit out of her, 
but only because of the meaning behind it.  Forever meant life.  He 
was asking her to spend the rest of her life with him.  Nobody could 
truly say that they entered any relationship with a view to forever.  
Even married couples would be lying if they said that they did.  

Nothing was ever that concrete.  That cut and dried.  People 
changed over time....  sometimes they grew apart... it happens... it 
was a fact of life.

	Could he really love her forever?  Could she love him for that 
long? Did he really understand what he was saying, what he was 
asking of her? 

	"Mulder, have you really thought this through?" she asked him 
softly, "I mean you're asking me for a lifetime commitment here. Do 
you understand what that means?"

	"I know exactly what that means, Dana. I know what I'm 
asking of you. It's what I want more than anything in the world.  
It's what I realised I wanted so much when I thought I was losing you 
to the cancer. I know what I'm saying."

	"I can't give you children." Her voice was low and timid, 
"I'll never be able to give you children, Mulder. We'll never be a 
true family."

	"We can adopt," he replied matter of factly, "or we can look 
into other methods of conception, like donor eggs."

	"I'm not sure I could do that. If I decided that my 
infertility meant never having children in our lives, could you agree 
to that?"

	"I'd hope that you would include me in the discussion, Scully.  
That sounded awfully like you would make the decision independently."

	"I can't believe we're even having this conversation. One 
minute we're talking... the next we're on the verge of making love 
and now we're having a deep meaningful conversation about whether or 
not we're gonna have children."

	"Do you love me, Scully?" he suddenly asked.

	"Where the hell did that come from?" she replied shocked at 
his sudden change of subject.

	"Do you?" He continued before she could answer, "I know I 
love you. I know I'm *in* love with you, whether we have children or 
not isn't gonna change that fact one iota. It's you I want. It's 
you I want to make love to all night. You I want to be with for the 
rest of my life. Children, Dana, whether we had them naturally or 
not would only be the icing on the cake." She felt his hand link 
with hers, his long fingers spreading hers apart and interlocking 
with them, "So... the real question is:  Are you in love with me and 
can you spend the rest of you life with me?"

	He drew her to him for another long and hunger filled kiss.  
His erection that had never truly gone away tightened even further as 
he felt her body respond to him. Her nipples hardened against the 
fabric of her thin T-shirt, he could feel them as they brushed 
against his chest. Her legs parted and came down on either side of 
his, cradling his now throbbing manhood against the warm heat 
emanating from her own aroused centre.

	Scully broke the kiss and nuzzled against his neck,"Keep 
kissing me like that G-Man and I'll agree to anything."

	"Just answer the question G-Woman." 

	"There's been so many I don't know if I remember which one I'm 
supposed to be answering?" 

	"Scully..." he said warningly.

	"Okay, okay..." She sat up quickly and straddled his body 
with her smaller one. Reaching across him she found the nightstand 
and switched on the light. The room was suddenly bathed in a harsh 
yellow glare and it took them both a few seconds to adjust to the 
sudden brightness.

	"Scully, what the hell..."
	
	"I wanted you to be able to see me. I want you to be able to 
look into my eyes and know I'm telling you the truth."

	"What truth?" he asked and suddenly he wasn't so sure he 
wanted the answer.

	"That I love you and I want to commit to you. Tonight. Now.  
In this bed.." With that she pulled the T-shirt off her body and 
threw it over the edge of the bed onto the floor below, "So no more 
stalling G-man and get that mouth working."

********************************************************************* 

Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut,11.50pm.              ** NC17 **


	She bent forward and her naked breasts pressed against his bare 
chest. She tipped up his chin and clamped her mouth over his, sucking 
his tongue into her mouth as she delved her own into his warm moist 
depths. He groaned loudly, his hands running up her back as he pushed 
her tighter against him.

	He rolled them over until he was covering her body with his.  
He kissed her slow and languidly allowing his hardened body to rub 
teasingly over hers, swallowing her gasp of pure pleasure with his 
mouth. One hand trailed lazily down her body, across her shoulder and 
down her arm. His fingertips light with their touch, causing 
goosebumps to break out wherever they passed.

	"Nice and slow, Scully. I'm gonna make love to you nice and 
slow," His husky whisper caused her body to jerk as his words, 
concocting erotic images in her mind. He pulled back a little and 
she felt the cool air wash over her hot skin. Her nipples puckered 
and hardened until they were two sharp points digging into his chest 
hair.  He began to rain small, tender open mouth kisses over her 
shoulders and chest. His body moved slowly down hers, his silky chest 
hair brushed across her oversensitive nipples and she couldn't help 
but moan.

	"I don't think I'm gonna survive nice and slow," she gasped as 
she brought her arms up around his shoulders and gripped him tightly.  
Already her groin was throbbing incessantly with her need to have his 
length tightly sheathed inside of her. She thrust up against him, 
rotating her hips so that they made the longest contact against his 
own arousal,"How about we change that to wild and fast?"

	His light laughter rumbled across his chest as he lent down to 
quickly brush his lips over the tip of her taut peak. He was 
rewarded with a sharp cry from the woman under him, so he latched 
onto the hardened nipple and sucked it into his mouth, laving it with 
his tongue and teasing it with his teeth.

	Dana's hips began to rock sensuously against his groin and his 
arousal hardened further as he began to feel the extent of the heat 
and dampness that was congregating between the apex of her thighs.

	"So long... I've waited so long for this..." His voice was 
breathy and low, the warm air from his mouth played over her breast 
mingling with the traces of his saliva where he had been sucking on 
her nipple. The combination of cooling liquid and hot air tightened 
the sensitive nubbin further until it was almost a pain in itself.

	"Touch me..." She let out a hoarse cry as his tongue flicked 
again against her breast, "God...  please...  touch me." Her hand 
found his and began to push it slowly down her body until it rested 
on a warm thigh. He didn't need anymore motivation as he trailed his 
fingers across the heated skin of her inner thigh toward the source 
of her arousal.

	His fingers made contact with the sodden material of her 
panties, he could feel the heat emanating from her lower body and he 
groaned at the feeling of her wetness on the tips of his fingers.  
Teasingly he began to trail his hand over and around the shape of her 
folds, and a wave of male satisfaction washed over him as he felt 
another gush of warm, wet liquid stain the thin material.

	"Mulder... don't...  tease." Scully half sobbed, "Take them 
off." She pushed her hips off the mattress so that his hands could 
lower the drenched material. Long, tender fingers glided up her 
outer thighs to rest lightly against her hips and the waistband of 
her panties, but he didn't take them off. Instead his mouth kissed 
and nipped at her flushed flesh as he steadily made his way down her 
body. Reaching her small concave stomach he stopped to brush tiny 
featherlight kisses around her navel.

	Dana could only gasp at the contact and push her hips further 
toward him. Words couldn't begin to describe just how frantic she was 
beginning to feel. She knew where his mouth was heading and her mind 
was already envisioning how his mouth was going to excite her there.  
Her centre was pulsing constantly in time with the rapid beat of her 
heart and her inner muscles, so underused until now, were beginning 
to twitch with expectation.

	The tip of his tongue trailed across her stomach and it made 
her flinch as he hit a particularly sensitive area, she felt his lips 
pull back in a wicked smile and she knew that he had stored away that 
piece of information for later use.

	"Jerk!" She tried to sound as though she were rebuking him, 
but it came out as a low breathy moan and he tormented her further by 
running his tongue over the area again almost causing her to leap off 
the mattress.

	His fingers gripped the waistband of her panties ready to pull 
them down, his eyes sought out hers and she couldn't help noticing 
how dark and sultry they had become as he stared up over her near 
naked body. He grinned at her slyly before his hands began there 
slow descent over her hips lowering her underwear, his head dipped 
down so that he could watch her aroused lower body being uncovered 
for his perusal. His tongue unconsciously snaked out of his mouth 
and wetted his lips. 

	Scully closed her eyes in sweet anticipation of what that 
tongue was about to do to her.

	"Where the hell did that come from?" His sudden clear and 
concerned voice caused her eyes to pop open again with a start.  
Pushing herself up onto her elbows she looked down her body to see 
Mulder staring intently at the deep purple/black bruise that adorned 
her left hip.

	"It's nothing, Mulder," she said almost absently as her mind 
and other parts of her body were trying to concentrate on more 
pressing needs.

	"Did I do this to you?" His eyebrows furrowed with the 
question.

	Scully almost let out a frustrated sob. Christ. Mulder's 
timing was as impeccable as ever. Trust him to get a guilt attack 
during foreplay, "I've told you... it's nothing. Forget about it."

	His fingers brushed over and around the bruised area tenderly 
and there was a look of utter sadness and shame upon his face, "It 
happened the other night, didn't it. During my nightmare."

	Scully couldn't hold back the long drawn out sigh from escaping 
her lips. She sagged back upon the bed and stared at the ceiling,   
"Don't do this now, Mulder." Her body was still in the grips of 
arousal and she desperately wanted him to finish what he had started, 
"Please.... let's not get into this. This is not what I *need* right 
now," she sighed again heavily.

	The room was silent. The tension, sexual and otherwise, was 
almost palpable.

	"Is this what you need right now?" She felt a strong tug 
against her upper thighs and the sound of material tearing. She shot 
up again on her elbows to see Mulder holding what was left of her 
underwear in his hand. As he took in her shocked look he bunched up 
the sodden garment and held it against his nose and inhaled sharply.

	Scully's vagina suddenly clenched in response to his actions 
and she stifled a gasp.

	"I wonder if you taste as good as you smell." His dilated 
pupils glinted with a darkness as black as coal and Scully's mouth 
went dry with his implications. His large, warm hands made there way 
to her knees and pulled them up so that her feet were braced on the 
soft mattress. He pushed her feet further back until they were 
touching her ass before slowly prising her knees apart and settling 
his eyes on her swollen, glistening labia.

	The heady, musky aroma of pure arousal filled the room and 
permeated Scully's nostrils. God it had been such a long time since 
anything like this had happened to her. She was transfixed as she 
watched her partner's hot gaze almost scorch her with its intensity.  
His lips twitched up into a small smile of satisfaction and his eyes 
locked again with hers.

	"You're pooling, Dana...  it's dripping from you." She felt the 
heat rising in her face and she knew she was blushing profusely.     
"It's beautiful."

	He lent inward, his hands coming down on either side of her 
spread knees. His head dropped downward, his tongue poked out 
between his lips and he ran his tongue up the full length of her 
exposed folds from opening to clitoris, scooping up the sweet 
nectar of her inner juices.

	"Aaaahhh...  Jeeessssuuusss...  Ceerrhhh...rrrissist." Scully's 
voice exploded from her mouth and she fell back against the mattress. 
All she could feel was the sensation of his pebbled tongue lapping at 
her most intimate places. Her legs were trembling and sweat began to 
dot her brow and upper lip.

	Over and over again his tongue touched her. Covering all of 
her in one maddeningly long, sensuous lick. He lapped at her like a 
cat, tasting her, drinking from her pool of flowing liquid.  Her head 
began to move from side to side on the bed, her hands clenched at the 
sheets and bunched them tightly in her fists.  Her hips were moving 
of their own volition against his mouth, grinding and thrusting 
wanting to make even deeper contact with his tongue as it played with 
her.

	"Mulder.." she moaned, "Mulder...   please.... please...." 
She could hear him making small inarticulate noises against her and 
his hands came up to steady her legs as they threatened to collapse 
under his onslaught.

	His tongue brushed across her quicker this time and then 
quicker still, flicking at her labia and swirling around her 
clitoris. She cried out and arched upward and Mulder's hands pushed 
her back down upon the bed, "Yeeessss. Ohmygod.... Ohmygod...." 

	She was thrashing madly against him all thoughts of control and 
composure slipping from her mind, "Touch it again.... please...  
please, Mulder....   touch it again....."

	His hands slid over her sweaty thighs to her warm, wet pubic 
mound and she felt him gently easing apart her genital lips to reveal 
the bundle of nerves that it protected. She clenched her eyes 
tightly shut as the tip of his tongue flicked at her throbbing 
clitoris, the sensitive nerves caused her vagina to twitch and clench 
as her body began its climb toward orgasm.  

	His tongue was replaced with his middle finger and it stroked 
her slowly, building up the exquisite pressure of release gradually.  
Even with her eyes clenched shut she knew he was watching her.  
Watching her reactions to his intimate stimulation of her body. She 
was hot all over and perspiration was now sliding slowly between the 
valley of her breasts.

	"You're beautiful, Scully," he whispered in a hoarse like 
voice, "I never dreamed you would look this beautiful during the 
throes of passion." His lips caressed and kissed her thighs as his 
finger continued to work over her, "Come for me, Scully.  Let me 
watch you... as you come for me."

	  "Yes..  please....  please..." She was panting wildly, her 
breath caught somewhere deep in her chest.  His tongue went back upon 
her and she whimpered in delight, a second later two long fingers 
parted her and pushed there way inside her.  She arched off the bed 
and began pumping her hips roughly against his embedded fingers.  Her 
inner muscles clenched and rippled around them as they jabbed and 
thrusted inside her. Her state of near orgasm reached an even higher 
precipice.

	"Are you close, Scully?" Mulder asked in a tone of voice that 
dripped like syrup, "Do you want me to take you that final step?"

	"Yes!" she wailed, "God, Mulder....   yes....  yes...  yes.."

	His fingers pumped harder inside her making contact with the 
fleshy wall of her cervix as it quivered against them. His tongue 
circled and flicked rapidly at the point of her clitoris before he 
drew the throbbing bud into his mouth to suck on it hard and Dana 
Scully's world imploded.

********************************************************************* 
 
**NC17**  

Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut.


	"Muuullll...ddddeeeerrr!" Her scream was almost deafening in 
the small hotel room. Her body arched clean off the bed and pumped 
wildly against Mulder's mouth. Wave after wave of rippling, mind 
blowing orgasm engulfed her body as every nerve and muscle went into 
spasmodic overdrive.

	Mulder's hands gripped her hips as he rode the tidal wave out 
with her. He drank from her as warm come shot out of her vagina into 
his mouth. He kept his fingers moving rapidly inside her, feeling 
her tight muscles almost stopping the circulation as they clamped 
around them and still it went on.

	She was moaning and writhing and groaning and crying out non 
stop. Inarticulate words mingled with gasps and sobs as her body 
refused to let the ecstasy of her orgasm abate. It was turning into 
torture....  her pleasure almost turning into pain.

	The crashing waves turned into ripples then into small tremors 
before slowly dying away altogether. Her hips thrusted once, then 
twice and then stopped.  

	Mulder lowered her shaking body gently down upon the mattress 
and gathered her up in his arms. He whispered soft words into her 
ear, but she had no idea what he was saying. Piece by piece her 
world slowly came back into sharp focus.

	"Am I still alive, Mulder?" she asked in a tremulous voice.

	She turned her head to face him as he chuckled against her 
neck, "You're still alive, Scully." He placed a soft kiss over her 
rapidly beating pulse and then kissed her mouth,"Are you okay?"

	"Yeah," she replied, "but I lost myself for a moment back 
there." She ran a hand down his cheek and drew it across his lips,  
"You've got a great mouth, Mulder." She leaned forward and kissed 
him languidly, tasting herself upon his full lips. They rested in 
each others arms just allowing the kiss to run its course. Finally 
they broke apart to take a well deserved breath of air, "You know, I 
think you should come with a Federal health warning," Scully said 
raising an auburn eyebrow at him.

	He pulled her across his body and wrapped his arms tightly 
around her waist, "Are you suggesting that I quote the National 
statistics for heart disease as I come inside you, Scully?" He 
chuckled merrily at the look she gave him, "Cos I think that's too 
kinky...  even for me..."

	She smacked him hard upon his shoulder for his wiseass remark 
and he yelped in pain. Taking pity on him she bent forward and ran 
her tongue over the redness that she had caused to appear. Mulder 
gasped in response.

	"You're lucky that I've decided to take pity on you, Mulder, or 
I'd kick your ass." She smiled broadly at him and kissed the tip of 
his nose, "Besides I have other plans for this gorgeous body of 
yours."
	
	She pulled his head up to meet her lips as they slanted across 
his. He moaned his appreciation and opened his mouth to her, 
wallowing in the feel of her warm, wet tongue as it swept into his 
mouth and duelled hotly with his own. His hands slid up her back and 
over her shoulders tenderly massaging her shoulder muscles with his 
soft caresses.

	Her mouth left his and trailed along his jaw, dropping tiny 
kisses over his stubbled chin and continuing down onto his neck. She 
paused there taking in the scent of his worn cologne and the sweet 
smell that was all Mulder. Her tongue flicked out and tasted his 
salty skin and she sucked upon his carotid artery.

	"You trying to give me a hickey, Scully?" Mulder mumbled 
languidly.
	
	"You taste nice." Came back her reply and she took her mouth 
off of him and looked into the warm dark pools of his eyes. 

	With a quick movement he rolled her body underneath his and 
nuzzled her ear. "Not half as good as you do." His lips found her 
earlobe and he sucked it into his mouth and laved it with his tongue.

	She moaned softly and ran her foot up the back of his calf, he 
groaned and rocked against her and she felt his arousal nudging 
against her stomach. Mulder's hands took ahold of her own and ran 
them down his sides until they rested against his hips in the soft 
silk material of his boxer shorts.

	"Are you ready to make that commitment, Dana?" he asked.

	"Yes." He lifted himself off her slightly and together they 
drew down the silky material of his boxer shorts effectively 
disposing of the last barrier that stood between them.

	Mulder settled back down upon her and kissed her long and 
passionately. His teeth nipped at her full bottom lip and she 
whimpered beneath him. His tongue slid across the area that he had 
bitten and soothed away the pain, she whimpered again and bucked her 
hips up against him and he felt his cock brush against her nakedness.

	"Scully..." he hissed out through clenched teeth.

	Her small hand travelled down between their entwined bodies and 
touched him. He jolted back upon a feral cry as her fingers wrapped 
around the hot hardness of his shaft. She ran her thumb over the tip 
of his manhood and smoothed the thick milky pre-come over and around 
his length.

	"You're huge, Mulder." And her face broke out in a radiating 
grin of pure lust, "God... I'm looking forward to feeling that 
inside me." Her fingers tightened around his base and slid up his 
full length. His eyes closed tightly and he breathed raggedly 
through his mouth.

	"Don't!" he warned, "I want to come inside you." His eyes 
opened and found her dilated sapphire eyes looking back at him, "If 
you keep doing that....  it isn't gonna happen."

	She nodded in understanding and removed her hand from him, 
sliding it over his hip and resting it there.

	"Make love to me, Mulder." She brought her legs up and opened 
her thighs wide, her hand slid back down to guide him to her 
entrance. She ran his engorged cock through the pool of juice at 
her entrance and closed her eyes on a soft sigh as she felt him 
briefly part her. Mulder poised above her and dipped his head to 
kiss her lovingly.

	"I love you, Scully." His hands braced themselves above her 
so that his weight wouldn't crush her small frame. She reached up and 
pulled him down for a soft, languid kiss before releasing him.

	"I want to feel you inside me, Mulder," she whispered softly, 
"Now!"

	He pushed his hips forward slowly and he felt a slight 
resistance coming from her body. He looked in her eyes for guidance 
and saw only a deep abiding love shining out from their blue depths.  
He pushed slowly forward again and met with the same resistance.

	"Harder," Scully said, "It's been a long time...  so you're
gonna have to be a little more forceful." 

	"I don't want to..." She covered his lips with her fingers.

	"It'll be okay. You won't hurt me....  I promise." She smiled 
at him and then rested her hands against his backside, "Don't treat 
me like a piece of china.  I like it hard and I like it deep and 
fast." Her fingers lightly brushed along the underside of his 
cheeks, "And with you, Mulder, I'll even enjoy slow and tender."  She 
arched up under him and claimed his lips with hers, "Whether you 
want to be a wildman or a gentle...man.  I can take it."

	She kissed him firmly once more before settling back upon the 
bed. He gazed down at her, his eyes alive with love and tenderness 
and the stubborn lock of unkempt hair spilling out over his forehead.  
She felt his hips pull back sharply and then he drove into her with 
one long hard thrust. Her back rose off the bed as his length and 
thick girth stretched and parted her walls and buried itself deep 
within her. Her eyes snapped shut and she stifled the gasp of pain 
that his initial thrust had caused her.

	Jesus.... he was BIG. He completely filled her, his cock 
nestling against her womb, his balls jostling against her backside.  
She felt totally possessed by him. He was filling a part of her that 
had gone too long without....  she felt whole again.  She felt like a 
woman again.
	 
	He settled himself within her for a few seconds before 
withdrawing almost entirely out of her. Her eyes fluttered open so 
that she could focus on his expressive face as he made love to her.  
His body slammed into hers again and she let out a deep throaty moan. 
He set up a deep fast rhythm as he took her body with his own.  
Scully watched mesmerised as his face registered the pure delight in 
being able to perform this intimate of acts with her.

	"G..o..o..d." Mulder gasped as he continued to pump roughly 
into her welcoming body, "This feels so good." Harder and harder and 
deeper and deeper he rammed his hardened flesh into her. With each 
withdrawal he tried to change the angle of his hips so that his tip 
would make contact with different areas inside her.

	She was beginning to murmur softly.  Her hands grabbed a hold 
of his waist and pulled him into her with exaggerated force. God she 
meant it when she had told him she loved it hard and fast. The warm 
wet hairs at her apex brushed against him as he slid in and out of 
her and the sweet contact added to Mulder's already sensitised state.

	"Sccuullleee," he moaned as he felt her vagina twitch around 
his engorged member. His mind was disappearing fast into the ether 
of pre orgasm, to a place where thoughts took second place to pure 
sensation. He dragged himself back into reality long enough to 
realise that they were both on the verge of oblivion. He forced his 
body to suddenly slow down its thrusting, he stopped penetrating so 
fully inside her. He slowed down his movements until they became a 
slow, tender worship of her body.

	"Mull...ddeerr," Scully crooned, "why'd you slow down?"

	"Not yet..." he whispered breathlessly, "want to enjoy this 
some more."

	With an effort on both of their parts they managed to slow 
their bodies down and dampened a little of their ardour. He ran a 
trembling hand over the rise of her breast and cupped it, squeezing 
the pale mound and hearing her moan her pleasure beneath him.

	"Kiss it." She was struggling to keep the tremors of 
excitement out of her voice, "Lick it....  suck on it, Mulder."

	His closed lips brushed sensuously over the soft silky skin.  
He felt the warmth of her beneath his lips and slowly opened them to 
place gentle butterfly kisses on her. His tongue followed where his 
lips had just been before and laved at her, causing her nipple to 
hardened in response. He flicked the tip of his tongue over the hard 
nubbin and sucked it into his mouth, suckling her breast with all the 
intensity and forcefulness of a new-born.

	"Oh yeah..." Scully sobbed, "yeah... don't stop....  don't 
stop." 

	Their lower bodies automatically began to increase the pace of 
their lovemaking. His cock began to penetrate her deeper and faster 
once again, its tip nudging and butting against the fleshy outer wall 
of her cervix. It was causing strong rippling vibrations to cascade 
throughout her body and she felt herself begin to tighten as though 
she were a well wound spring.

	Mulder's breath was getting ragged. Sweat dripped off his 
forehead to land unnoticed on her heaving chest. His lips were 
pulled back in a tight grimace of concentration and his eyes stayed 
focused dazedly on the writhing woman underneath him. Again they 
reached that moment when both bodies were a hair's breath away from 
total ecstasy and again he began to slow his movements down.  

Scully's hands gripped at his buttocks as he tried to lessen 
his penetration and stilled his hips.

	"Let go..." she told him and she took a gulp of air into her 
overtaxed lungs before she could continue, "don't hold back any 
longer, Mulder.  Let all of it go..." His hips were unconsciously 
moving against her as she spoke to him, "This isn't a dream.  I 
promise that I'll be here in the morning. I'll be here the very 
second after we both explode around each other." She wiped some of 
the perspiration off of his face, "I love you..."

	His face lightened with her words and he nodded to her 
silently. He began to thrust into her more forcefully and he felt 
the slick slide of her legs as she embraced his hips, drawing them 
around him and firmly anchoring him in place.

	"Scully.... scully... scully..." he chanted as he felt his 
own body start to approach the abyss.

	"I'm right with you." She was pounding her groin against him 
and she knew she was going to be sore in the morning.

	He was becoming frantic now and any finesse that he had been 
showing had been lost. His balls had tightened painfully and he felt 
the beginnings of his orgasm start to pulse out from his scrotum and 
down his cock.

	"Oh God, I'm coming," he yelled and his hips slammed against 
hers almost violently. Once, twice and on the third hard thrust his 
entire body shuddered with the impact of his climax.

	Hot liquid shot out of him into the deep depths of her vagina 
and the head of his cock butted one last time against the sensitive 
spot of her cervix. Her womb clenched tightly before spasming 
uncontrollably sucking in the liquid life that her partner had 
ejaculated into her body.

	"Mulldeeerrr!" she yelled, "I'm there... I'm coming. 
Oh sweet Mary... I can't stop coming!!!"

	 Her body was rocking hard against his as the rippling waves of 
pleasure flowed out and around her. Her lungs gasped for air and she 
felt her calf muscles around his back begin to cramp with the 
pressure of being so tightly wound around him.

	Their bodies kept up the rhythm for a few moments more until 
Mulder's body couldn't stand it anymore and he collapsed on top of 
her. She gasped for air under his weight, running her nails up and 
down his sweat slickened back, feeling the last of the twitches and 
tremors leave her sated body. Mulder rolled slowly over onto his 
back taking her with him and suddenly she felt the chill of the night 
air hit her exposed back. She shivered.

	"Here." Mulder said gently, and he pulled the almost 
forgotten comforter up and around her shoulders. They lay in silence 
listening to each other's breathing slowing down and feeling the hard 
thudding of their hearbeats slowly diminishing back to there normal 
levels. 

	Eventually she trailed a lazy hand over his broad upper body.  
She placed a soft open mouthed kiss over his heart and looked up at 
him smiling. He returned the smile and she sighed audibly.

	"Is that contentment I hear?" he asked as he ran his hand 
over and through the damp fiery auburn hair on her head.

	"Satisfaction," she replied enunciating every syllable 
slowly, "what you see before you my dear, Mulder, is a woman well 
satisfied."

	He chuckled and rolled them over until he was covering her body 
again, "Good because it's gonna take me a while to recover."

	"And then?" she asked teasingly, one auburn eyebrow rising 
mischievously.

	"And then I'm gonna satisfy you all over again," he replied 
in a low sexy voice that made Scully's heartrate increase in 
anticipation.

	"Ooohhh," she giggled, "I've got me a stud!" 

	They laughed and kissed for a short while until Mulder moved 
off of her, his now limp penis slipping from the warmth of the 
sanctuary he had found in her body. He settled beside her and 
slipped his arms around her, pulling her against his side, not 
wanting to break this new found connection for a second. He felt her 
turn toward him, resting her head on his chest and sliding a soft 
warm leg over his.

	They were silent in the room basking in the afterglow of their 
lovemaking, each of them coming to terms with the new dimensions that 
their relationship was about to take. Feeling comfortable with the 
commitment that they had made to each other that night and in it's 
physical consummation.

	Mulder finally turned out the light and snuggled closer to his 
partner. She had been quite for sometime and her soft breathing was 
an indication that she was close to sleep.  

	"Nite, Starbuck," he said softly and placed a tender, loving 
kiss on the crown of her head.

	"Mulder..." She shifted her face as it lay on his chest and 
stared up at him in the darkness.

	"Yeah," he said, stifling a yawn and tightening his arms 
around her soft naked body.

	"Can I ask you something?  And will you answer it honestly?"

	His brow furrowed in the darkness and he didn't say anything 
for a few seconds as he wondered what was on her mind.

	"What do you want to know?" he finally asked.

	Scully paused for a moment and ran her hand over his face above 
her, "The other night... when you were telling me about your 
recovered memory you mentioned something that disturbed me." She 
shifted her body so that she was half leaning over his prone frame,  
"You said that your father used to punish you for screwing up."
	
	"Scully..." Mulder said quickly knowing where her question 
was heading and not sure if he was gonna be able to answer it, "I 
don't want to talk about this."

	"Did he beat you, Mulder?" she asked softly, her hand 
smoothing over his cheekbones soothingly, "Did he physically abuse 
you?"
	
	"Scully, I can't talk about this right now.  Please don't 
spoil what has been a truly wonderful night....   let's just enjoy 
what's happened between us," He lowered his head and brushed his 
lips across hers.

	"Have you ever spoken to anyone about it?" 

	He was quiet for a long time before she felt him shaking his 
head slowly, "No.  I couldn't.... I still can't....  it's way too 
raw...."

	"Oh Mulder." She rolled onto her back and pulled him against 
her, he came without a struggle and rested his head between her 
breasts. She smoothed her hand through his hair like a mother 
soothing a frightened child, "I'd like to think that you will share 
it with me one day. Talking about it might help." 

	"I don't like to remember." He pressed his lips against her 
breasts, "If I tell anyone....  It'll be you, Scully."

	It was her turn to drop a kiss onto the crown of his head and 
she ruffled his hair with her fingers, "I'm so in love with you, do 
you know that?" She could feel his lips curve against her naked 
breast, "I'm glad tonight happened." He nuzzled against her breast 
with his lips and she sighed contentedly, "Sweet dreams G-Man." 

	She settled her arms further around him and together they 
slipped into a peaceful, exhausted sleep.

********************************************************************* 
 
Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut,9.15 a.m.          ** R **
	
	Two days later....   

	The day of Samantha's funeral broke overcast and grey. Thunder 
rumbled and a heavy rain pattered against the motel room window. 
Mulder had awakened at the first sound of the approaching storm and 
had silently listened to its ever building cacophony of sound.

	He was dreading this day as he had dreaded no other.  

	Until now he had been able to push thoughts of the coming 
funeral out of his mind. He had forced himself to not think about 
what was going to occur today and how he was going to cope with 
having to say a final farewell to the little girl that had shaped so 
much of his life. Already he could feel the spectre of his grief 
shadowing his heart and he didn't feel as though he could cope with 
allowing it full access to his emotions, which were already 
unbearably mixed.

	God, how he wished that certain aspects of this week had never 
happened. That he had never received Skinner's call to go to his 
office that morning. That the body they had been sent to identify 
had been someone else's and not Samantha's. That he could erase his 
mother's hurtful words that even now still sent shudders down his 
spine. That he had never remembered the details surrounding that 
fateful night and the depths of his father's deception. That he 
didn't have to go ahead and live out the details of his sister's 
funeral.

	There was a stirring of the sheets next to him and he smiled 
softly as Scully's bare arm trailed up over his chest and her small 
pale hand came to rest over his heart.

	Now that was one thing that he didn't and would never regret 
happening. His own hand tenderly settled over hers protectively and 
he turned his head slightly hoping not to disturb her as she slept.  
It was such a pleasure to watch her sleep.  He couldn't get enough of 
it.  

	She always looked so young in these off guarded moments and it 
reminded him of the youthful woman who had walked through his door 
all those years before. The smile on his face broadened as he 
remembered her no nonsense approach to that first case together. How 
she had looked at him with unconcealed incredulity when he had begun 
to spout off his theories regarding the abduction of those kids in 
Oregon.

	Was he in love with her as far back as then?

	No, he decided, it hadn't been love. That had taken a little 
while longer to surface and then when it did he had brutally pushed 
it down so that it wouldn't interfere with his search for the truth.  
It had only been when she had been taken and he had listened to her 
frantic pleas for his help that he had been able to admit to himself 
how much he loved her.

	God seldom gave out second chances. Yet with Mulder he had 
seemed to have given him a second and a third. Not only had he 
allowed Scully to come back to him from her coma, but he had also 
allowed her to fight her way back to him from the near fatal cancer 
too. 

	She stirred again and her mouth opened into a slight pout, her 
warm red lips puckering as though she were dreaming of being kissed.  
He leaned into her body and dropped a small tender kiss upon those 
lips and watched as they rose up in the corners at the beginning of a 
smile.

	He knew now that he could never survive without her by his 
side. The fact that she had agreed to commit herself to him still 
filled him with a sense of awe. Why she should decide to stay at the 
side of such a damaged man was beyond his comprehension, but he would 
do his best to prove to her that the choice she had made that night 
was the right one.

	The morning after their first night together Scully had given 
up her room and moved all her things in with Mulder. It made sense 
considering that only one room was now being inhabited and as the 
rooms were being paid for, not by the bureau, but out of their own 
pockets it had made monetary sense too. Of course it had made the 
room a little more cramped, but Mulder had to admit that the benefits 
of the arrangement vastly outweighed any negative aspects.

	Thunder crashed loudly outside the window making the panes of 
glass shudder in their mountings. He felt Scully stirring again and 
when he looked down he found her sapphire gaze staring up at him.

	"Hey," he whispered, "sorry the storm woke you up." 

	"I'm not." She reached up and wrapped her arms around his 
neck, with a gentle tug she pulled him down to her and pressed her 
lips against his. They nuzzled silently for a few seconds before 
breaking the kiss, "It used to be coffee that got me going in the 
mornings," Scully mused, as she stifled a yawn, "now it would 
appear that I can't make it outta bed unless I've had my morning dose 
of Mulder."

	She settled her small hands on his waist and tugged gently. A 
small chuckle rose unbidden from his mouth as he moved over her body 
and settled himself on top of her.  

	"Hmmm. It would appear that the feelings mutual," she said 
wickedly as she felt his morning erection poke against her stomach.

	"Yeah, well I know if I'm not up and ready when you wake up 
there'll be hell to pay." He tenderly cupped her chin in his hand 
and brought her lips to his, "Remember I've seen you when you've had 
to go without coffee." His lips curled up as they rested against 
hers and he felt her giggle softly.

	His lips opened and claimed hers just as his hardened flesh 
slipped effortlessly into the comforting embrace of her aroused body.  
They made love slowly and silently, their eyes, hands and mouths 
communicating all that was needed to be known as their body's 
continued to rock against each other.

	It was almost as though he were worshipping her body, Scully 
thought as she felt him gently ease his hardened manhood in and out 
of her. Slowly he brought her to the edge of the abyss and she found 
that she couldn't tear her eyes away as his expressive face 
registered the multitude of feelings that this intimate act brought 
out in him.

	Her early morning orgasm was the sweetest and most tender that 
she had ever experienced. Mulder spent himself inside her body with a 
shudder of his hips and an open mouthed but silent cry, and it 
occurred to her that not a word had been spoken during the entire 
duration of their lovemaking. She cradled his head, as she often did 
now, upon the soft pillows of her breasts as he fought to regain 
control of his sated body.

	Her hands moved through his slickened hair and brushed it back 
off of his forehead and she waited quietly until he was able to focus 
once more upon his surroundings again.

	The sudden sobs that broke from his mouth surprised her and her 
movements in his hair stopped abruptly. His body was quaking against 
hers and she could feel the splatter of his tears as they ran down 
his face and into the valley between her breasts.

	"Mulder....  you okay?" she asked softly as she lowered her 
hand form his hair to rub it soothingly around and over his back. The 
thought occurred to her that this sudden outpouring was due in some 
way to the coming days events. That the impending funeral of 
Mulder's sister was causing him to breakdown in her arms. 

	She was wrong.

	Slowly he raised his tear stained face and watery eyes to meet 
her steady gaze. His face which only a moment ago had looked so 
happy in the throes of passion, now looked drawn and pale as the 
anguish inside of him finally broached the last of his inner 
defensive walls and poured forth.

	"It started when I was six." His voice hitched slightly and 
the tears broke once more and ran down his face, "And it didn't stop 
until I was sixteen and strong enough to hit the bastard back."

	"The beatings?" Scully asked.

	"Yeah." His voice was thick with tears and he had to clear 
his throat several times before he could continue, "I've never been 
able to understand what started him off, but once he began there was 
no stopping him."

	He drew his gaze away from hers and settled once more on the 
cushion of her breasts. Her arms went around him in a strong embrace 
and she placed a soft kiss in his hair.

	"Sometimes he would hit me for the smallest of reasons.  
Sometimes for no reason at all... I was constantly confused and there 
was never any pattern to his behaviour. I've thought a lot about it 
since I became a psychologist, but I still can't quite fathom it all 
out." 
	
	He proceeded to tell her in excruciating detail the torturous 
decade that he had spent at the hands of his violent father. How he 
had been beaten so severely that at one point he had been 
hospitalised as the doctors had feared for his spleen. That at other 
times rather than wait for Bill Mulder to decide when the beating 
would take place, the young boy had goaded his father to the point 
whereby he would instigate the beating himself.

	"That way I at least felt a little in control of the 
situation." He had sobbed as he stayed cradled within his lovers 
arms.

	Scully had been incensed at Bill Mulder's actions toward his 
small son and by the hospitals total lack of investigation into the 
boys constant trips to the ER. She couldn't bring herself to believe 
that the hospital could have been so naive that they had no idea what 
was taking place in the Mulder residence. She decided that it was 
more likely that they decided to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to 
what was truly going on.

	He completely broke down in her arms as he began to tell her of 
one particularly bad beating. One that had been for no apparent 
reason and probably only occurred because his father was so tanked up 
on alcohol that night. The tears that he had shed at the news of his 
sisters death were nothing compared to what she was witnessing now. 

	 She knew what a courageous act it had taken for him to decide 
after all these years to confide in her. She held him tightly as he 
continued to relate this sad and dark episode of his life.

	"After Sam..." he paused, "the beatings just got worse. At 
the time I thought it was because he thought that I was to blame for 
losing her. Now I figure it was probably that he feared that I might 
remember what he had done to her. He was really trying to cause 
damage those times. He used his fists and feet and he really did a 
number on me. I use to pee blood for days after and I spent so much 
time off of school that a private tutor had to come by the house."

	 Silent tears coursed down her face as she listened in silence 
to his words. She hated Bill Mulder with an hatred that she had 
never known existed until now. She hoped that Mulder's so called 
father was spending eternity in the cold dark place that Luther Lee 
Boggs had spoken to her about so long ago. Only there could he even 
begin to pay for the evil that he had inflicted upon his children.

	"When I was sixteen he hit me one time too many and I 
retaliated.  I punched him back and the sonofabitch landed smack on 
his ass on the floor.  He never laid a finger on me after that, I 
guess he figured I could take him down if I really wanted too. My 
parents divorced shortly after and two years after that I got my 
scholarship to go to Oxford."

	Her throat was constricted with her tears and she couldn't form 
a word of comfort to say to her lover. He was silent below her and 
he was slowly recovering from the strong sobs that had wracked his 
body. So he was totally unprepared when Scully rolled them over so 
that Mulder was flat on his back. His eyes widened as he saw the 
tears that pooled in her blue eyes and the teartracks that had ran 
down her face. He reached a hand out to brush away the tears, but 
she intercepted it and shook her head silently.

	She pressed his hand to her lips and kissed his fingers 
lovingly. She may not be able to tell him what she was feeling at 
this point, but she was determined to show him. Her kisses continued 
to fall upon his prone body. Over his face and chin, down his neck 
and across his chest. When he reached for he and pulled her toward 
him to claim her lips, she stilled his actions again with an adamant 
shake of her auburn head.
	
	This was going to be for him. Finally he seemed to understand 
and he nodded briefly before lowering himself back upon the bed. She 
made love to him. First with her hands and mouth upon his straining 
flesh and then with her warm welcoming body as she sheathed him 
deeply inside her. She rode him slowly, building up the tension and 
passion until it became unbearable and he climaxed on a hoarse cry, 
shuddering uncontrollably inside her.  

	She didn't follow him over the edge and she hoped that she was 
able to show him how much she loved him in the action she had taken 
and in her willingness to forego her own release.

	When it was over he pulled her to his sweat slickened body and 
held her tightly in his embrace. He dropped kisses into her hair and 
ran one hand smoothly over her back. He pulled back to look at her 
for a long time and she saw wonder shining from his eyes.

	"Whatever did I do in my miserable life to deserve you?" he 
said softly as he placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

	"If your father wasn't already dead, I would hunt down the 
bastard and kill him," she replied with venom in her voice,         
"Krycek did you a big favour, Mulder."

	"Well don't be too upset if I don't shake his hand, Scully," 
he replied before slanting his mouth over hers to taste her long and 
deeply.

	They laid silently listening to the ebb and flow of the storm 
outside.  A fragile peace settled over them, one that they both knew 
would be shattered again at the funeral with the reminder of the 
lives that had been shattered on that night twenty-five years ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Greenwich Meridian Motel,
Greenwich,
Connecticut,11.15 a.m.

	After breakfast and a shower the two agents began the process 
of readying themselves for the funeral which was scheduled for twelve 
noon.

	Both had bought outfits in town the day before that were 
befitting the sombre occasion which they were attending. Scully had 
already dressed and was putting on the finishing touches of her 
makeup as Mulder stepped up to the mirror and ran a comb through his 
dampened hair.

	She gazed fondly at his reflection and she noticed that his 
eyes were far away. Absently he picked up the black tie that they 
had selected for the funeral, running his fingers over the silk. His 
shoulders dropped and she saw his Adam's apple bob up and down in his 
throat as he tried to swallow around the obvious lump that was 
forming there.

	Scully turned away from there joint reflections and stepped 
closer to him. He noticed her movement and quickly looked up at her 
and she smiled sadly at him, "Come here... let me do that."

	She gently removed the tie from his unresponsive hands and 
draped it around the shoulders of his starched white dress shirt.  
Her hands deftly flipped up his collar and she ran the tie around it 
listening to the rasping noise it made as it slipped over the cotton.  
She brought the two ends of the tie together and began to cross and 
fold the pieces until she had the makings of a respectable looking 
knot. Tenderly she pushed the knot up against the top button 
of his shirt so that it wasn't too tight against his throat. Finally 
she flipped the collar back down into place and finished with her 
task, she stepped back.

	Mulder's hand shot out before she had taken a second step and 
reached for her hand. He pulled her back toward him and engulfed her 
small body in a tight embrace. His arms wrapped tightly around her 
shoulders and his face buried itself into the strands of her red 
hair. They stayed that way for a few minutes until she felt his body 
begin to reluctantly release her. His lips kissed her softly on the 
crown of her head as he stepped away from her.

	"Are you gonna be all right?" she asked him, her concern 
showing in the warmth of her blue eyes.

	"No, but I'll survive, Scully." He smiled wanly and moved 
toward the bed to pick up his jacket.

	Scully moved back toward the vanity unit and picked up her comb 
and ran it once more through the fine auburn hair, watching as it 
settled back in its usual place just touching the shoulders of her 
black dress. Putting down her comb, she grasped the small purse on 
the vanity and flipped open the catch. She put her hand inside to 
retrieve the item that she had put in there the day before and took 
it out slowly. She gazed down at the item in her hand and then back 
up to the mirror that showed the reflection of her partner as he went 
about slipping his black jacket on over the rest of his clothes.

	She spun around and walked slowly over to him. Again he seemed 
to sense her before she reached him and he looked up.

	"I've got something for you," she told him as she held out 
her hand, "but I'm not sure whether you'll want to wear it or not."  
Her fingers uncurled to reveal a black yarmulke resting in the palm 
of her hand.

	Mulder's eyes widened as he realised the significance of the 
item she was holding. He stood motionless as he stared at the small 
black skullcap as it sat in her outstretched palm. Slowly his 
fingers inched their way forward as though he was frightened to touch 
the item in her hand. They brushed lightly over her palm and picked 
up the yarmulke reverently and he drew it back toward him.

	"I meant to ask you the other day how you knew..." He 
swallowed before continuing and his eyes rose up to meet with hers,  
"... how you knew which faith I was brought up in?" He looked at 
her quizzically and full of wonder, "I didn't even include it on my 
service records at the bureau, Scully?" 
 
	"It's no great mystery, Mulder, " she said softly around a 
small smile, "it's no act of psychic phenomena or any kind of sixth 
sense. In fact it's something quite mundane." His eyebrows rose 
sharply at her remark and her smile widened, "I'm well trained in 
observation both as a doctor and as an investigator..." He shook his 
head slightly still not making the connection, "I noticed the 
Menorah on the side cabinet at your mother's house the other night 
alongside a rather cute picture of certain young boy taken during his 
Bar Mitzvah."

	Mulder's head dropped in what looked like embarrassment and he 
chuckled lightly, "Nothing gets past you, does it?" He looked back 
up sheepishly at her, "I'm gonna have to be very careful around 
you."

	"Better believe it G-man. You won't be able to hide all those 
FBI groupies anymore." She teased him.

	"I don't need groupies, Scully. Not when I've got all I'll 
ever want wrapped up in one small, dynamic package," he replied 
looking at her with sincerity in his warm hazel eyes.

	"I hope that's not a dig at my lack of height, Mulder," she 
retorted with mock irritation resonating in her voice.

	He stepped forward and pulled her to him until she was pressed 
firmly against the bulk of his body. His head lowered and captured 
her lips in a soft kiss. Automatically her arms went around his 
waist as she responded to the warmth of his lips. She stood on 
tiptoe so that she could reach more of his mouth with hers and she 
opened her mouth to him on a soft moan.

	After indulging themselves in a brief kiss they broke apart, 
"We better go. There'll be waiting for us at the cemetery," Scully 
said as she made her way over to the closet and pulled out her 
trenchcoat.

	Mulder nodded reluctantly as the dread in his stomach coiled 
like a snake around his intestines squeezing so tightly that he 
didn't think he would be able to move.

	"You're gonna make it through this partner, " Scully whispered 
softly, "I'm with you every step of the way. If the going gets tough 
just reach out for me and hold on real tight." 

	"I've been doing that for years, Scully," he replied, a ghost 
of a smile flickering across his sombre face.

	Scully shrugged on her trenchcoat, "Then you should be really 
good at it by now." She crossed the small space between them and took 
a hold of his hand, "Just remember one thing. Today when you reach 
for me and I hold you in my arms, it's not gonna be because I'm your 
partner and I'm trying to console you. It'll be because I'm your 
lover and I'm showing my love for you." She raised his hand and 
brushed her lips tenderly across his knuckles.

	"Everyone's gonna know." Mulder said quietly, "They're gonna 
take one good look at us and they're gonna know." A frown appeared on 
his face, "I'm not gonna be able to hide it, Scully.  Not anymore... 
not after what's happened between us."

	"I'm not asking you to," she replied softly, "I have no 
intention of hiding what we feel for each other, I've spent way too 
long doing that."

	"But Skinner.." 

	"Will understand. Mulder, I think Skinner understands a lot 
more than we give him credit for."

	"But he's our boss." 

	"Today he's our friend." She tugged gently on his hand, "We 
better get a move on or we're gonna be late."
	
	He nodded once and turned to pick up his own trenchcoat that 
was lying on the bed. He draped it over his arm and with the other 
free hand he ushered Scully out of the small motel room into the 
stormy day beyond.

	A little girl was waiting for them.  Waiting patiently for her 
brother to finally lay her to rest...



Mendelssohn Zionist Cemetery,
Greenwich,
Connecticut, 12.05 p.m.

	
	Mulder's dread hadn't abated on the short drive to the 
cemetery, in fact it had steadily increased. His body felt like it 
did whenever he was on a case that turned ugly. His fight or flight 
instincts were both vying for attention and if he were honest with 
himself he would admit that the latter emotion was running the risk 
of winning that particular battle.

	Every now and then he would feel Scully's intent gaze upon him, 
but he couldn't bring himself to return it. As the car ate up the few 
miles toward his rendezvous with destiny he became more isolated,  
more caught up with his own inner turmoil.

	He knew that if he could avoid actually looking at that small 
coffin he stood a better chance of holding it together. But one 
look...even the smallest of glances would be enough to break through 
the thin veneer of composure that he had fought since dawn to erect.

	The rental car passed slowly through the open gates leading 
into the small cemetery. He inadvertently drew in a sharp breath and 
felt Scully's warm hand settle on the top of his left thigh. His own 
hand found and entwined with hers and he let the breath he had 
inhaled burst out through his pursed lips.

	The car continued on its slow progress passing row upon row of 
well kempt graves. Mulder's eyes swiftly moved over the rows of 
silent witnesses, not stopping long enough to register the names and 
ages of the varied occupants. The car finally slowed and came to a 
halt by the grass verge. Broken from his inspection of the other 
graves, Mulder's eyes focused instead upon the small group of people 
that stood a few feet away from their car. 

	Scully killed the engine and turned toward him, "You all 
right?" 

	"Give me a few minutes, Scully." He wasn't looking at her, 
but he felt her nod of understanding nonetheless. She exited the car 
slowly and softly closed the door behind her. Mulder watched as she 
walked toward the small congregation of people, she started speaking 
and after a few seconds everyone turned and walked over the still 
damp grass toward the graveside. He could make out the small white 
casket that stood out starkly as it perched over the gaping hole 
below it.

	Mulder found his fingers tightening around the yarmulke that 
Scully had given him earlier. The thin silk of the skullcap felt warm 
and soft to his touch, but he couldn't help feeling that it still 
felt a little out of place. He hadn't actively practised his religion 
for over twenty years. His Bar Mitzvah was probably one of the last 
times he had set foot in a Temple as a participant.  

	His faith had slowly and irrevocably diminished over the years 
following Samantha's disappearance to a point whereby he had 
forgotten almost everything that he had ever been taught by the 
Rabbi's. Maybe forgotten was too strong a term considering his 
photographic memory. It was more a case of his mind becoming more 
selective and as memories of his days spent with Samantha in the 
Temple were too painful, he had chosen to let them slowly slip away. 

	He sighed to himself softly and gazed once more out of the 
window toward the group of people awaiting him. There wasn't one 
person present that had actually known his sister. The people here 
today were mourning Samantha's passing by association only. Their 
only reason for being here confined to their association with him and 
his long quest for the truth.

That thought made him feel incredibly uneasy and somewhat sad 
and lonely.

	His mother should have been here. He shouldn't have to deal 
with this all alone. He'd been dealing with it all alone for so damn 
long, he needed a respite; he needed the burden to be lifted from his 
shoulders.

	He took one last look at the yarmulke in his hand before 
affixing it to the back of his head with the two small clips. He took 
a couple of deep lung filling breaths and exhaled. Grabbing the door 
handle, he let himself out of the car and slowly walked toward the 
gathering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mendelssohn Zionist Cemetery,
Greenwich,
Connecticut, 12.15 p.m.

	The wind had died down to an occasional strong gust and the 
rain, that had furiously lashed the area earlier, had thankfully 
stayed away. Small, dry leaves skittered across the cemetery, 
adhering to the sides of the gravestones and the clothing of all 
those that stood silently and reverently beside Samantha Mulder's 
grave.  

The Rabbi stood looking austere at the foot of the grave. His 
dark clothing billowing out and around him as an errant gust of wind 
swept across the graveyard. The wind fluttered at the pages of the  
book that he held in his right hand, threatening to tear the thin 
paper that contained the sacred text. The Rabbi's voice took on a 
singsong quality as he recited the long Hebrew words, his cadence 
changing every now and then as he reached a more solemn or meaningful 
passage.

	Mulder was riveted to the spot; his head bowed low, his eyes 
fixed on his shoes and refusing to rise to the spot where the casket 
lay a few feet in front of him. He listened to the sounds of the 
Rabbi's prayers and found himself surprised at just how much of the 
extracts he could remember from his days attending the Temple.

 	His lips began to murmur and echo the words spoken by the Rabbi 
without him consciously making the effort. Slowly.. hesitantly.. like 
a wounded animal being coaxed out of an unsafe haven, he allowed his 
eyes to move up and away from the ground. Still he couldn't bring 
himself to focus them on the small white casket. Instead they settled 
upon the members of the small congregation. 

	Across from him stood the imposing figure of Walter Skinner. As 
always the Assistant Director was dressed impeccably. Expensive black 
suit, white silk shirt and a silk tie the colour of charcoal; a deep 
black trenchcoat made up the ensemble.  

To the casual observer it looked as though the big, burly ex-
marine were standing at attention, but that premise was only an 
illusion. He was in fact standing with his head slightly bowed, his 
soft brown eyes staring sadly at the small casket before him.  

It took Mulder a full minute to realise that like himself, Skinner 
was wearing a black yarmulke upon his head. The young agent couldn't 
help wondering if his boss were doing so out of a mark of respect or 
whether he were of the faith himself. His question was answered as 
the Rabbi began another prayer and Mulder's keen eye picked up the 
infinitesimal movement of Skinner's lips as they moved in time with 
the Rabbi's words.

	Mulder's eyes moved away from the figure of his boss and 
settled next upon the trio of men that stood by Skinner's side. Even 
dressed alike, in sombre black, the Lone Gunmen stood out amongst the 
rest of the gathering. A small smile played across Mulder's lips as 
he focused upon Frohike's attire. The last time he had seen the 
little man looking so dapper had been when Frohike had come to visit 
Scully in the hospital.

	Mulder pushed the memory that accompanied that thought savagely 
out of his mind, as it was too painful for him to cope with right 
now. Scully was all right; in fact she was standing right next to 
him, but he couldn't shake the feeling of fear that had sliced 
through him at the memory of her coma. Reaching for and finding his 
partner's small, cool hand he wrapped his fingers tightly around it. 
The feel of her tiny fingers in his filled him with warmth and 
comfort along with a huge dose of reassurance that allowed his eyes 
once again to move on.
 
Standing next to Scully was the only other woman that held a 
special place in Fox Mulder's heart. A woman who's strength and 
unconditional love had gotten him through two of the most horrendous 
moments of his life.  Someone who had welcomed him into her family 
without question and in a time of great sorrow and who had treated 
him with love and understanding instead of the derision and loathing 
he had come to expect.

	Maggie Scully stood silently at her daughter's shoulder and 
Mulder took a brief moment to study both women's profiles. 

	Strong.

	Proud.

	Resolute.

	The Scully women had a backbone made from pure titanium. Solid, 
unbreakable and unyielding. Their fierce loyalty, once given, knew no 
bounds. He was constantly amazed at how much the two women before him 
had endured and still they came back for more, still they kept on 
fighting.

	The signs and scars of her hard fought battles were beginning 
to take their toll on Maggie Scully's countenance. There were more 
deep lines upon her face and grey streaked most of her black hair.  
During Scully's battle with cancer, Maggie had distanced herself both 
from Mulder and her daughter. At first he couldn't understand why she 
were doing something so uncharacteristic, but it soon became apparent 
that it wasn't because she blamed him for Dana's illness, nor that 
she were jealous of Dana telling Mulder of her diagnosis before her.  
No. It had more to do with the battle that Maggie had decided to 
undertake on her daughter's behalf.

	Scully had stubbornly refused to turn back to her faith even as 
the illness looked as though it was going to win and claim her life. 
So Maggie had decided that it was up to her to double her own efforts 
in a bid to ensure her baby girl's salvation. In the end Scully had 
turned back to the faith that she had believed in for so long and God 
or the chip that sat under the skin of her delicate neck had given 
her the welcomed reprieve.

	Mulder's eyes travelled across Maggie's body and came to rest 
upon the Rosary that she clasped tightly in her right hand. Maggie 
had never known the little girl that they were laying down to rest, 
but still her compassion and her deeply held Christian faith was 
trying to ensure that the little girl would find her everlasting 
peace.

	Mulder swallowed the huge lump that had suddenly formed in his 
throat before turning away from Maggie and finally resting his eyes 
on the one place he were dreading. The small white casket that bore 
his sister's small broken body.

********************************************************************* 

Mendelsshon Zionist Cemetery,
Greenwich,
Connecticut, 12.35 p.m.

	Looking at the casket was every bit as painful and soul 
destroying as he had anticipated it to be. The small white coffin 
seemed way too tiny to hold the contents within it and Mulder was 
reminded of the similar observation he had made at the crimescene a 
few days ago.

	Had it only been a few days? It seemed to feel like a whole 
lifetime had passed since he had walked into Skinner's office and had 
been given the news that had brought him to this moment. Then, 
Samantha had been alive and well and living in his every waking 
moment. Now she lay cold and still inside a small white box awaiting 
to be returned to the very earth that had so reluctantly given her 
up.

	But this internment would be different. This time the fresh 
faced little girl with the long braided hair and the large curious 
hazel eyes would be laid to rest by someone who loved her. Not the 
cold hearted and evil man that had taken away both her innocence and 
future, but by the brother who had spent his entire adult life 
searching for a dream that had died on a terrifying night twenty-five 
years before.

	Mulder felt the first sobs begin to rise in his chest and 
forced them back down. His eyes stung and welled up wanting nothing 
more than the cathartic release of salty tears. His hands clenched 
into fists at his sides, his nails digging into the soft flesh of his 
palms until they hurt. Teeth clenched, posture rigid, breathing 
shallowly to alleviate the pain gathering in his chest he continued 
to stare at the casket.

	Sensing his anguish and knowing he needed to release it, Scully 
ran her fingers over one tightened fist and began to softly prise 
open the fingers. Her intimate gesture wasn't lost on her partner and 
she felt him relax so that his fingers uncurled enough to allow her 
to slip her hand inside his. 

	One hard squeeze of his hand told him what she couldn't say to 
him in words. **It's alright to let go, Mulder. I'm here.**

	In one moment of clear understanding he relaxed further and 
allowed the anguish that permeated his body to flow unabated. The 
tears began to fall silently and softly and his shoulders quaked with 
his efforts to keep the depth of his release in check. Nevertheless 
one broken sob still managed to escape through his stronghold and 
it's sound was carried by the breeze across the desolate graveyard.

	The sob turned quickly into sobs as his defences crumbled and 
he finally allowed himself to let go. Scully's arms were going around 
his waist and pulling him fiercely against her before his mind could 
even register her change of stance. She held him tightly and firmly, 
her short arms locked around his body.

	One of his hands snaked around her own waist while the other 
travelled up her back to guide her head toward his body. His open 
palmed hand ran through her hair as she laid her cheek against his 
chest.

	The Rabbi's tone of voice changed and he began to rock slowly 
back and forth on the balls of his feet as he spoke the words of the 
`Kaddish' the Jewish prayer for the dead.

	Through the tears that threatened to close up his throat Mulder 
began to recite the ancient prayer along with the Rabbi. A soft 
fluttering against his chest drew his eyes away from the casket and 
down toward his partner. Her eyes met his halfway as she pulled her 
head away from its resting place and he saw her softly uttering the 
Hebrew words as she performed the ritual alongside him.

	His heart swelled and clenched in his chest. How had she found 
the time over the last couple of days to memorise the text? His eyes 
conveyed to her his deepest gratitude for the gesture she were making 
and a single shaky finger drew across her lips as he kept his eyes 
steadfastly locked upon hers.

	The prayer finished and a heavy silence descended upon the 
graveside. 

	"Scully." Mulder's voice was thick with unshed tears. She lent 
up and brushed her lips over his before taking a couple of steps away 
from him.

	He took a deep breath to steady himself and took a step toward 
the casket and picked up the two long straps that would be used to 
lower his sister once again into her earthy resting place. His eyes 
glanced up to fix upon those of Walter Skinner who was gripping the 
straps on the other side of the casket.

	If Skinner had thought anything about the scene between Mulder 
and his partner a moment earlier it wasn't apparent upon his face. 
Without the utterance of a word they began to slowly lower the casket 
into the ground.

	When they had finished their task the two men stepped back and 
looked toward the Rabbi. The Rabbi uttered a few more words, closed 
his book, bowed toward the grave and turned and walked away from the 
graveside. The rest of the congregation began to disperse as well 
leaving Mulder and Scully alone.

	Mulder bit down on his full lower lip and blinked a couple of 
times before looking toward his partner.

	"How do I do this, Scully? How do I say goodbye? It's so 
hard to find the right words."

	"They're already chosen, Mulder. They're right here." Her hand 
brushed over the left side of his chest, "You just have to let them 
be spoken aloud."

	Taking his hands in hers she brought them to her mouth and 
placed a loving kiss upon them. She moved away from him toward the 
casket in the ground. She stopped to pick up a solitary white lily 
from the immense piles of flowers that surrounded the graveside. 
Stopping at the graves edge, she tenderly tossed the lily onto the 
casket.

	"I wish I could have known you, Samantha. You don't know how 
much I would have liked to have met the amazing little girl who 
created such an extraordinary man. Rest in peace, Samantha, you 
deserve it." Scully crossed herself and stepped back from the edge. 
Wordlessly she walked away from the graveside to give Mulder the time 
to come to terms with his thoughts.

	Mirroring his partner's earlier movements he found himself 
standing at the edge of the grave, staring sadly into the gaping hole 
and the casket held snugly within. 

	"You will always be in my thoughts, Sammy. No matter what I do, 
or who I decide to spend the rest of my life with, you'll always have 
a safe place in my heart. Sleep tight little sister. Sleep with the 
angels."

	He picked up a big handful of the mass of tall white daises 
that bordered the other flower arrangements. Bringing the delicate 
petals to his lips he kissed a few of them gently before tossing them 
into the grave. They fell upon the casket, scattering, embracing and 
entwining with the single lily that Scully had tossed in earlier.

	"Something to remember me by." Mulder whispered softly as he 
dug his fists into the deep pockets of his black trenchcoat. He 
pulled the coat tighter against him as the breeze picked up once 
again.

	He took one long last look at the small casket cradling his 
sister's remains before turning sharply on his heel and striding 
determinably away from the grave. Scully stood silently waiting for 
him a few yards away and when he reached her, he pulled her into a 
fierce hug.

	Upon releasing her a few moments later, he cradled her face in 
his hands and lowered his head to kiss her tenderly upon the 
forehead. Pulling back he stared intently into the sapphire blue 
depths of her eyes.

	"It's over." He stated resolutely and she nodded once, 
swallowing down the huge lump in her throat that threatened to choke 
her. They reluctantly moved apart, turning and walking across the 
still rain dampened grass and windswept leaves. Walking toward their 
car.

	Toward their future.

********************************************************************* 

Dana Scully's Apartment,
Annapolis,
Maryland, 8.15 p.m.

Five Months Later.

	Fox Mulder's fingers tapped lightly over the keyboard sending 
words scurrying across the screen of the computer monitor. Letters 
merged into words, the words into sentences and the sentences into 
paragraphs as he worked upon a document that would mark an end to one 
part of his life and the start of another.   

	So many changes.  Some good, others not so good, but all of 
them had lead one way or another to this day. He sighed softly to 
himself as he put the finishing touches to the document. It was done. 
There would be no more turning back. Now all he had to do was print 
it and sign it and it would all be over.  

	 His finger paused over the mouse button and he watched as the 
flashing cursor on the screen circled around the print command. Even 
now, after all the late nights spent in deep discussion with Scully, 
he was still finding it hard to take that final step. 

	"Com'on, Mulder, there's nothing left for you here," he chided 
himself softly as his finger depressed the left hand mouse button. 

	The printer kicked into life with a soft whirr and Mulder sat 
back in the deskchair resignedly. 

	Five months. He had tried for five long months to continue on 
the path he had chosen so long ago. The only path that he had ever 
truly travelled along, but it became apparent after only a few weeks 
that something was sorely missing.

	He still respected the work. His well honed mind still sought 
out the mysteries of the unexplained and tried to give them 
understanding and meaning. He threw himself into the cases and was 
relieved to find that he hadn't lost his ability to look for extreme 
possibilities.

The deep rooted conviction to bring about the downfall of the 
shadow men and to widely publicise their traitorous and inhumane 
experimentation's still burned fiercely within him. The single minded 
determination to seek vengeance upon those that had covered up the 
murder of his sister didn't abate. He wanted nothing more than to 
meat out the justice that Scully yearned for to bring about the 
closure she so desperately needed to heal herself.

But the spark was missing. That special something that had 
fuelled his search in the past was mysteriously absent. It didn't 
take him long to decide that the reason for its absence was because 
it no longer resided within him; instead it lay cold and silent in a 
small well kempt grave along with a broken and abused body.

Doubts about whether he should continue his search began to 
plague his mind. They poured into his consciousness like a floodtide, 
washing away his defences and damning up his resolve to carry on.

Depression settled over him like a dark shroud and the 
departments solve rate fell drastically. Scully diagnosed clinical 
depression and tried to convince Mulder that it was due to the grief 
he were still suffering over his sister's loss. Deep down inside he 
knew that her well meaning explanation wasn't the answer. The true 
meaning for his debilitated state lay in his ever growing doubts over 
his ability to carry on the role he had created for himself.

 	He took a three week leave of absence to sort himself out. 
Secreting himself away in a cabin in the mountains that belonged to 
an old friend while Scully fended for herself and held down the ever 
crumbling fort. Not only was this absence a test of the partner's 
fledgling relationship, but Mulder found it to be excruciatingly 
painful. He missed Scully's presence terribly and couldn't resist 
calling her almost hourly just to hear her voice and be reassured 
that her feelings for him hadn't changed.

 	Up in the loneliness of the cabin he was forced to face his 
problem head on. He could no longer guarantee his continued work on 
the X-Files. Without that necessary spark to fuel his passion for the 
truth he wouldn't be able to function to the best of his ability. 

If he wasn't focused when he went up against the Consortium it 
could be lethal. He might overlook an important clue and in doing so 
put both himself and Scully in danger. If he were still on his own he 
would probably think that the risk was worth taking, but he wasn't 
alone and he knew more than ever that Scully would stick by his side 
as though she were some form of superglue. 

The decision in the end had turned out to be simple to make.

Upon his return from his mountain retreat he confided in Scully 
his decision to leave the bureau and find another line of employment. 
Astonishingly she didn't put up an argument and Mulder found himself 
wondering if maybe she knew more about the things that had been 
plaguing his mind than she had let on. 

He began looking around for another path to travel while he 
continued to work cases for the bureau. Finally he made a decision to 
put his Oxford degree to some good use and accepted a job with a 
small mental health practice as a clinical psychologist.

	And that had lead him to this moment. Writing out his formal 
resignation to hand to Skinner in the morning. The printer finally 
stopped its whirring and spat out the sheet of crisp white paper. 
Taking it out carefully so as not to smudge the drying ink, he 
glanced over the words one last time.

Everything was in order. There could be no more stalling.

Picking up the ink pen on Scully's desk he signed his name with 
a heavy heart and folded the now dried paper into three sections. 
Sliding an envelope out from the neatly piled stack he slipped the 
letter inside and stuck it down. Flipping it over he wrote Skinner's 
full title and name on the front and put the pen down with a 
heartfelt sigh.

A pair of warm delicate hands took that moment to slide over 
his stiff shoulders and began massaging away the knots. A smile 
crossed his lips and he turned slightly in his chair and raised one 
hand and placed it softly over hers. 

"Is it done?" Scully asked as she eyed the envelope sitting 
upon the desk.

"It's done." Mulder replied as he pulled the hand he had been  
holding toward his lips and tenderly kissed her knuckles, "I tried, 
Scully. I tried for five whole months to make it work." He shook his 
head sadly, "It just wasn't there anymore."

He let go of her hand and swivelled around in his chair to face 
her, "I still respected the work. I still wanted to find out the 
truths to so many things, but the spark, that ember that used to 
ignite the passion for the search...," he hesitated for a moment, "it 
was gone, Scully." His voice softened,"It just wasn't there."

Scully leaned toward him and kissed him gently upon the lips,"I 
know how hard you tried, Mulder. I know how much you wanted this to 
work, but sometimes you just have to know when to cut your losses and 
walk away."

"I feel like I've let her down, Scully. I feel like I've let a 
lot of people down." His eyes held hers, "Including you."

"You haven't let anybody down, Mulder. How can you say that?"    

"I'm walking away. I'm letting those bastards win." His eyes 
glinted with a faint trace of anger and Scully suspected that the 
anger was directed solely at himself.

"It's time for you to step away from the plate and let someone 
else start taking some of the hits." She fingered the edge of the 
envelope sitting on the desk. "We had our fair share of Home Runs, 
Mulder. THEY didn't always win the game."

"We had our fair share of dangerous pitches too, Scully." His 
eyes clouded over momentarily in pain as the memory of all their 
combined losses invaded his thoughts. His hands dropped to cradle her 
small waist as he met her eyes again, "At least now with me out of 
the way you'll get a good crack at the career you deserve."

Scully's eyes lowered from his and she looked sheepishly away 
for a moment. One hand disappeared behind her back toward the pocket 
of her jeans, only to return a moment later with an identical 
envelope to the one already sitting on the desk. Casually she tossed 
the envelope onto the desk and it landed next to his.

"What's this?" Mulder asked.

"What's it look like?" Mulder stared at her for a few moments 
as if waiting for some answer from the heavens to descend upon him. 
His eyes widened as understanding hit him full force and he shook his 
head at her emphatically.

"No. You don't have to do this." He shook his head again to 
drive home the point.

"Mulder, there's NOTHING left for me at the bureau. After all 
the lies, all the evidence that they stole from us, after 
everything that Blevins and the rest of those bastards put us 
through, do you honestly think I would stay?"

Mulder was silent for a long time, his eyes staring over her 
shoulder at some point on the wall opposite. He was thinking her 
decision through trying to find some argument against it, but she 
knew the effort would be futile. There was no way she was going back. 

His eyes eventually came back into focus and locked again with 
hers, "What will you do, Scully?" His voice conveyed a well hidden 
trace of trepidation and fear. 

He was waiting for her to say she was going to leave him. To go 
away and never come back. God, he could be so stupid sometimes that 
the impulse to slap him was almost overpowering.

"Not what you're thinking, you jerk." His eyes widened again and 
she smiled at him. "I'm not about to leave you. I'm not about to 
grab my bags and make a run for it. I've made a commitment to you."

"You don't have to stand by it. It isn't written in blood, 
Scully. In fact I could understand if you did want to make a clean 
break."

"It may not be written in blood, Mulder, but it may as well 
have been." She ruffled his hair with her hand,"I love you. I'm 
staying exactly where I am." She paused to stab a finger at his 
chest," I didn't take my vows in a church full of people just to play 
at being a bride for a day. I meant every word and so did you."

His face broke out in a huge lopsided smile as his memory 
evoked the images of that day only two months before. Scully all 
decked out in virginal white being walked down the aisle by a beaming 
and obviously proud Walter Skinner.

"Every. Single. Word." Mulder's eyes filled with tears as he 
looked into her blue eyes,"Although I still can't work out why you 
agreed to marry me?"

"Umm. It was a slow day. I didn't have anything else planned 
to do." Scully's eyes told him she were teasing him. She leaned 
toward him again and whispered softly against his ear, "Plus you give 
the best sex I've ever known. I would be stupid to pass that up now, 
wouldn't I?"

He smiled lecherously at her before pulling her down to claim a 
kiss. A kiss which Scully returned with as much heat and lust as she 
could convey with just the use of her lips. 

They broke apart breathlessly and Mulder ran his hands around 
her waist and stroked her hips, "You didn't answer my earlier 
question, Scully?  What will you do?"

"Apparently anything I like." She reached toward one of the 
desk drawers and pulled it open. She extracted a small file folder 
from within its confines and placed it upon the smooth surface of the 
desk. Opening the file she proceeded to show Mulder the contents. 
There were at least a dozen job offers awaiting her acceptance.
	
"It would appear that my credentials with the bureau have the 
ability to open countless doors." 

Mulder selected a few of the letters and scanned them quickly.

"So which one of these are you going to accept?" he asked.

"None of them." Scully replied and was once again the subject 
of a confused look from her husband. She waved her hand before he 
could put his confusion into words,"What I mean is I will accept one 
of the offers on a temporary basis, as a kinda stop gap until I'm 
ready to start my new career."

"And that would be?" Mulder asked quirking his eyebrow in a 
mimic of her own well used look.

She nibbled at her lower lip nervously before answering.

"I want to specialise in Paediatrics." 

Mulder's mouth gaped open at her revelation and it took him a 
while to find his voice. When he did say something it was to voice 
his concerns.

"A paediatrician. Scully is that wise?" He swallowed hard 
before continuing,"I mean you'll be working with..."
	
"Babies and small children.  Look, Mulder, I'm not a masochist. I 
don't want to do this as a means of torturing myself over something I 
know I can't have. That's not why I want to do this."

"Then why are you?" he asked softly.

"It's hard for me to explain." She sighed and ran a hand 
through her auburn hair. "I've spent so much time administering to 
the needs of the dead. Finding out what caused their deaths and 
reading the stories that their bodies have to tell. I've spent such a 
long time seeing to their needs, that I feel as though I've somehow 
forgotten how it is to be with the living."

"That's what I want to get back, Mulder. That sense of being 
a part of the living, breathing world again. What better way than to 
work with those that have just started out on life's journey."

"You'll be leaving yourself open to a lot of pain, a lot of 
hurt." Mulder took her hand in his and squeezed it gently,"What 
happens when you come across a child you can't save, Scully? It will 
happen... eventually. What will you do when it brings back all that 
pain and sense of loss?"

He wasn't berating her for her choice of career that much she 
knew. He was just concerned for her and as he had done in the last 
five years of their partnership he was trying to protect her.

"Believe me I've thought about that, Mulder. I'm not that 
naive. I know there will come a time when I will have to deal with 
terminally ill children and that it will bring back memories that I'd 
rather forget."

"But how will you deal with it?" Mulder asked, worry clouding 
his eyes and sadness echoing in his soft voice, "You've got to be 
able to deal with it or it's gonna tear you apart."

"I'll deal with it like I always have. To detach myself from it 
as I've been taught to do. I'm a good doctor, Mulder. I've been 
trained from day one to distance myself from the pain and suffering 
of others. That's what made me so good at my job."

She smiled at him once again and cupped his chin in her hand.

"Besides, if the going gets tough I know a really good psychologist 
that I can consult." She brushed her lips softly against his. He 
could feel her lips quirk up at the edges,"And I hear his rates are 
reasonable for the service he gives."

He pulled back from her and stared at her in mock seriousness.

"You can't afford me," he said.

Scully shrugged her shoulders,"Then I'll just have to pay you 
in kind." She kissed him again, "Mulder, this is what I need. What I 
want. I can do this."

"You'll need to re-qualify?" Mulder pointed out rather 
needlessly because he knew she knew that as well as he did. 

"Yes, I will and take the Board exam to become certified to 
practice. I figure two years if I study hard."

He nodded somberly,"So which of the job offers will you take?"

"One that gives me a chance to study. That means that both the 
Assistant Medical Examiner position and becoming a full-time 
emergency practitioner are out. They're not conducive to study, no 
matter how tempting they may be." She glanced at the pile of letters 
spread out fan like upon the desk. She drew her hand toward the pile 
and slid one letter out with her finger.

"Teaching. I'll accept the teaching post at the University of 
Maryland. I can teach Pathology. I went there, it'll be like giving 
something back. Plus it will give me time to, hopefully, study."

"So double barrelled resignations, huh?" Mulder said as he picked up 
the two envelopes and tapped them against the top of the desk.

"Goes with my new double barrelled surname." Scully retorted 
dryly,"By the way, that goes when I start at the University. From 
then on out I'm just plain old Mrs. Mulder." 

  	"There's nothing plain or old about you, Scully. If you like... 
I can prove it you." The twinkle which she had come to know as 
Mulderlust sparkled in his eyes.

"Got time for a free consultation, Dr. Mulder?" she asked in 
her most seductive voice and she watched as his eyes turned a sexy 
shade of deep sea green, "I've kinda got addicted to your bedside 
manner."

She took his hands in hers and pulled him out of the chair. 
Walking backward she lead him toward the bedroom and the most 
welcomed and well tested of all their wedding presents. A large, king 
size four poster bed courtesy of Maggie Scully.

"I guess if I'm going to be doing consultations for a living, 
I'm gonna need all the practice I can get." Mulder whispered as 
Scully pulled him into the bedroom and shoved the door shut with a 
bump of her hip.

"If I ever find out you're doing this kind of consultation work, 
with any of your clients, Mulder; the only thing you're gonna be 
needing is a new set of male genitals." 

"Ouch! That kind of talk does nothing for my libido, Scully."

But as it turned out Mulder's libido was just fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Assistant Director Walter Skinner's office,
FBI Headquarters,
Washington DC 9.15a.m.

	Special Agent Fox Mulder was once more pacing around the 
interior of the Assistant Director's outer office. The strong feeling 
of deja vu at this scenario did not escape the lanky FBI agents 
notice.

	He glanced at his partner and saw that she was sitting in the 
exact same chair that she had been seated in the last time that they 
had been in this situation. Once more she was reading the inter 
office magazine and if Mulder tried hard enough he could almost make 
himself believe that they were back where they had started out from 
nearly six months before.

	However, this time the meeting had not been requested by the 
Assistant Director. It had been Mulder and Scully that had asked to 
meet with Skinner and the joint resignation letters that they had 
come to deliver were sitting snugly in Mulder's inside pocket. Those 
two envelopes felt almost hot enough to sear through the fabric of 
his suit.

	He began pacing back and forth between his chair and the big 
black filing cabinets. Scully looked up from her magazine and watched 
his measured steps for a few moments. He was nervous and still a 
little reluctant to go through with the plan that they had decided 
upon. It showed in his stance and in the way that his shoulders 
seemed bowed slightly, as though the whole worries of the world were 
perched precariously upon them.

	"Mulder, come and sit down. You're wearing a hole in the 
carpet."

	"I'm fine, Scully." He resumed his pacing, his long legs eating 
up the carpet space.

	"Sit down and relax," she said.

	"I'm fine, Scully, really I am," he answered with a nervous 
smile on his face.

	She frowned and watched as he began to pace more furiously. It 
started to remind her of the tigers she had once seen at the zoo. The 
ones that were so agitated with the sheer lack of anything to do that 
they paced around and around in ever decreasing circles until they 
drove you up the wall.

	"Mulder!" 

	He stopped his pacing and spun around to face her. She was 
glaring at him, one auburn eyebrow quirked upward in curiosity. He 
sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again she was still 
staring at him with the same look on her face and he knew he was 
gonna have to tell her what was wrong.

	He crossed over to the vacant seat beside her and sank down 
into it.

	"What's wrong?" Scully asked as she folded the magazine she 
had been reading and returned it to the pile upon the coffee table 
beside her.

	"I just want to get this over with. I'm not looking forward to 
this, Scully. I'm turning my back on everything I know."

	"You're making the right decision, Mulder. We both are."

	Before he could respond the door to Skinner's office opened and 
the Assistant Director appeared in the doorway. "You wanted to see 
me Agents?" he asked in his usual drill sergeant voice.

	"Yes sir," Scully replied, "It'll only take a few minutes of 
your time."

	Skinner nodded for them to proceed him into the office. They 
rose together and walked past the tall, broad figure of their boss 
for possibly the last time and entered his plush inner office.

	Skinner closed the door softly behind them and made his way 
back to his seat. When he reached his leather chair he noticed that 
both agents were already seated and a quick look at their faces told 
him they were feeling tense.

	"What's all this about?" The Assistant Director asked as a 
means of starting the conversation.

	Mulder reached into his inside suitcoat pocket and produced the 
two white envelopes. He placed them upon the well polished surface of 
Skinner's desk and pushed them toward the Assistant Director without 
comment.

	Skinner picked up the envelopes and noticed immediately that 
they were written in both agents handwriting. He frowned and looked 
first and Scully and then at Mulder.

	"Is this what I think it is?" Neither agent responded to his 
question, so he tore open the first of the envelopes and pulled out 
the sheet of paper inside. He read the contents of the letter quickly 
and his eyes rose sharply to meet Mulder's stare. He tore open the 
second letter and read its contents silently, his eyes only rising 
briefly to be met by Scully's cool blue gaze.

	Putting both letters down on his ink blotter, Skinner rose and 
walked around to the front of his wide desk. Leaning back against it 
with his hips, he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his 
two agents.

	"I take it there's no point in me trying to talk you both out 
of this?" he asked.

	"No sir," Scully replied for both of them, "We've given this a 
lot of thought and we've come to the conclusion that this is the best 
course of action for us to take."

	"Very well," Skinner sighed audibly, "Are you planning on 
your resignation taking effect immediately because if you take all 
the vacation time that's been allotted to you, you could probably 
leave before the end of the week."

	"No sir." Mulder replied shifting a little uncomfortably in 
his seat, "We thought that we would take the normal notice period to 
enable us to brief our successors to the different protocols that 
have to be followed when working in the X-Files division."

	Skinner's eyes widened at Mulder's bold statement. "Agent 
Mulder, there will be no replacements. Surely you know as well as I 
do that the moment that you and Agent Scully walk out of this 
building for the last time, the X-Files will go the way of the 
dinosaur."

	"I was hoping you may be able to pull a few strings, sir, to 
ensure the projects survival?"

	Skinner sighed again and ran a hand across his bald head, 
"Agent Mulder, I couldn't even find out why the Consortium leaked the 
information regarding the whereabouts of your sister's body. It 
wasn't a coincidence as they wanted us to believe it to be, we both 
know that. What makes you believe that I could possibly have enough 
influence with the powers that be to ensure the survival of the X-
Files?"

	"It was just a thought, sir." Mulder replied dejectedly.

	"I'm sorry Agent Mulder, but my hands are tied."

	"I understand." Mulder nodded once and was then silent.

	"I have to confess that your resignations were not a surprise 
to me." Skinner saw both sets of eyes suddenly focus upon him 
intently, "I have been aware for sometime that you have been having 
some problems with your solve rate." Both agents nodded absently, but 
refrained from opening up further. Skinner bit back another sigh and 
pushed himself away from the desk,"I'll see that all the necessary 
paperwork is filled out to enable your discharge to go through 
channels smoothly."

	"Thank you, sir," both agents answered in unison.

	Skinner walked back behind his desk and sat back down. The 
agents waited for him to formally dismiss them, but it didn't come. 
Instead Skinner reached into a deep desk drawer and pulled out a 
brightly wrapped box. 

	He placed the box upon his desk and Mulder and Scully eyed it 
with curiosity.

	"I know it's a little late, but I've finally managed to track 
down a descent wedding gift for you."

	"But sir..." Scully began and stopped dead in her tracks at the 
look that the Assistant Director was giving her.
	
	"I searched high and low trying to think of something that 
would compliment your differing tastes. I think this is the very 
thing that you both require. It speaks volumes about who you were 
before your union and hopefully it will GROW as I hope your 
relationship will grow over time." 

	Mulder took a quick glance at Scully and saw a small enigmatic 
smile cross over her full lips.

	"You shouldn't have gone to such bother, sir," Scully said to 
her boss, "It really wasn't necessary, you've done more than enough 
for us."

	"It was no bother Agent Scully, no bother at all. It was 
something that had to be done. After all there are certain traditions 
that have to be followed when one undertakes to give away the bride."

	**Why do I get the feeling that you're giving away more than 
just a bride here, Walter?** Scully thought, but wisely kept her 
mouth shut.

	"You did me a great honour that day, Agent Scully; by asking 
me to be the Father of the Bride. This wedding gift is my token of 
thanks for that rare moment." He slid the box toward Scully and she 
accepted it.

	**Okay, I'm gonna go along with this, but there's a whole set 
of matching luggage at my apartment that you gave us for a wedding 
present, Walter.** 

	Scully gave Skinner a small smile as if telling him she knew he 
were up to something. Skinner returned the look and added a small nod 
of approval that she were choosing to go along with him in this.

	Mulder watched the interaction between his boss and his wife 
with just a little confusion of his own. It almost looked as though 
they were having a completely different conversation to the one that 
he had been hearing.

	"You're dismissed." Skinner pulled open the nearest file and 
began making notes in one of the margins. Mulder and Scully rose from 
their seats and walked toward the door. Mulder's hand slipped to its 
usual place at the small of Scully's back as she walked clutching the 
big gaily wrapped box in her arms.

	Mulder had to shift slightly to reach for the door handle, as 
his fingers closed upon the handle the silence in the room was once 
more broken by Skinner.

	"That gift in non returnable. So if I've chosen incorrectly, 
it would be in your best interests to destroy the contents instead of 
keeping something that you no longer need."

	Mulder spun around as the words of the statement sank in. 
Suddenly he was very aware of the contents of the box that Scully 
held in her arms. His eyes locked for a short time with those of his 
boss, his friend and then Skinner lowered his gaze back to the open 
file before him.

	Mulder opened the door and ushered Scully out the room closing 
the door behind them with a soft snick.

	Walter Skinner looked up from the file he hadn't really been 
reading and stared at the door that his two agents had left through. 
A smile tugged at his lips and twinkled in his eyes.

	"It's all about drawing a line, Mulder." 


END OF STORY.