From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 12 Jun 2005 17:13:56 -0000
Subject: Root of the Problem (8/14) MSR, NC-17 by Cybill & Donnilee
Source: direct

Reply To: cybill@pacbell.net;, donnilee@snet.net


XXXXXXXXXX 
CHAPTER 8 
XXXXXXXXXX

NEW MILFORD HOSPITAL 
ROUTE 202 
NEW MILFORD, CT 
MAY 29, 1997 
THURSDAY - 11:30 AM

Three hours and fifteen interviews later, I was sick of hearing 
myself talk. The only productive thing I'd accomplished was to 
confirm how well-loved Christina Fuller had been and that no one 
could imagine wanting to hurt her.

I also managed to get a list of hospital employees.  After returning 
to Kent, I would see if the Town Hall could cough up a list of 
residents. I had a feeling that although Christina's secret admirer 
was an employee of the hospital, he was a resident of Kent, just 
like she had been. Something was happening in that town and it 
was starting to creep me out. I wanted to find out what it was 
before more people died. It was just a hunch, but I was sure all our 
killers were residents of Kent.

Only one employee had raised a red flag with me. His name was 
Bernard a/k/a Bernie Schultz. He'd called in sick since the date of 
Christina's death and no one had seen him in over a week. He was 
also a resident of Kent. Definitely someone to track down and talk 
to.

I considered brainwashing cults, devil worship, and drug problems. 
None seemed to fit these scenarios. I was stumped and I hated 
being stumped. It made me really cranky.

I decided that I would grab a sandwich, realizing we'd skipped 
breakfast in our haste to get to the crime scene. I had grabbed four 
of Alice's hot fresh rolls from the table on our way out and put 
them in a plastic evidence bag. My stomach was rumbling and I 
imagined that Scully's was too. I went out to the car and retrieved 
them, and then made my way through the labyrinth of hallways to 
the cafeteria.

There I made Scully a hearty salad including cottage cheese and 
chickpeas. I got myself a gyro stuffed with lamb strips and 
peppers, and oozing sour cream out the top.

I licked some sour cream off my finger as I made my way to the 
elevator, balancing my purchases. The lady had been kind enough 
to put two iced teas in a bag for me. The bag was dangling off my 
ring finger precariously as I used my elbow to press the button, 
which summoned the elevator.

Somehow I managed to make my way to the morgue in the 
basement of the hospital without dropping anything.  My arrival 
was announced by a swishing of the hydraulic doors into the 
autopsy bay.

"God, it's cold in here," I said.

Scully didn't look up from her perusal of the boy's insides. "It's an 
autopsy bay, Mulder. What do you expect?" she said blandly.

I chuckled, setting down my parcels on the steel counter next to the 
washing sink.

Her head came up and she sniffed the air dramatically. "What is 
that I smell?"

"My gyro. I come bearing gifts."

Just then her stomach rumbled loudly. Her eyes went wide with 
surprise and then we both laughed. "It wants me to feed it," she 
said solemnly.

I grinned. "Well, take a break. Let's feed that monster."

She peeled off her cap, gown and bloody gloves, disposing of them 
in a biohazard container. Once stripped of her apron, she came to 
the counter wearing just her scrubs and paper booties.

I grinned at her. "You look so cute in scrubs," I said as she washed 
and dried her hands.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, they're a real fashion statement."

I just smiled and handed her the salad I'd made.  "Oh, this is great 
Mulder."

"It gets better. Guess what I pilfered on the way out of the B&B 
this morning?"

"What?" she mumbled around a mouthful of lettuce and cottage 
cheese.

I held up the evidence bag.

"Please tell me that's not confiscated from the scene," she said in a 
droll voice.

I gave a bark of laughter. "No, even I'm not that bad. These are 
fresh from Alice's breakfast table."

"Oh, yum. Hand it over, you thief," she teased.

We munched contentedly for several minutes in silence. I'd eaten 
my gyro and both my rolls by the time Scully finished her salad 
and started on one of the rolls, dipping it in the ranch dressing 
floating in the bottom of her salad bowl.

"So did you get anything from the interviews?" she asked.

"Not really. Everybody loved her. There is one guy that interests 
me. He hasn't been in to work since her death and he lives in Kent. 
Name is Bernie Shultz. I intend to go to the Town Hall when I 
leave here and get a list of residents and compare it to the list of 
hospital employees I have here. It will be interesting to see if there 
are any matches other than Bernie."

"Sounds like a good plan. I have to finish up here and order the 
toxicology although I'm not sure what I expect to find."

"All right, we can meet back at the B&B. I'll go do my gumshoe 
routine, and you can finish here."

"You take the high road, and I'll take the low road," she teased.

"And I'll be in Scotland afore yee!" I teased back. I watched her eat 
and felt the familiar rise of lust building up in my body. She caught 
me staring at her as she finished her roll and turned to stare back.

"Mulder?" she questioned.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me, Scully?" I said in a low, 
raspy voice.

She swallowed noisily.  "Oh God.  Mulder, we're working," she 
said in automatic protest. She must have detected the lecherous 
intent in my eyes.

"We were working yesterday too when you jumped me in the car."

"That was different, we weren't in a public building."

"Hypocrite," I accused her gently.

She looked down, blushing and I reached out, pulling her close by 
the shoulders. "Mulder, this is very unprofessional."

"Since when have I ever been concerned with being overly 
professional?"

"Just because things have changed doesn't mean we can just go 
around groping each other whenever we feel like it."

I didn't bother answering her, I just leaned down and kissed her.  I 
tipped her head for the perfect angle and began devouring her 
mouth. I couldn't get enough of her, plain and simple. I'd been 
wandering in a desert, and Scully was my oasis. I was going to 
drink my fill, and damn the consequences.

XXXXXXXXXX

NEW MILFORD HOSPITAL MORGUE 
NEW MILFORD, CT 
MAY 29, 1997 
THURSDAY - 1:00 PM

The minute his lips touched mine I was a goner. He expertly turned 
my head from side to side, ratcheting my desire up a hundred fold.

I remember thinking how utterly ridiculous we were reacting to 
each other and out of character our actions were. It was one thing 
for a relationship to slowly move to another level, but our 
overwhelming desire for one another coming about so quickly was 
disconcerting. Nevertheless, I knew I'd wanted the man from the 
moment I'd laid eyes on him. Who wouldn't? He was gorgeous, 
and had a way about him that drove women wild with lust; me 
being no exception. The man was hot. Hot in that, 'Oh my God, 
how can I be expected to work with such eye candy, day in and 
day out?' way.

The one question that could not be ignored was about the 
recklessness that we were both displaying. It bothered me to 
extreme proportions. I couldn't understand why we suddenly chose 
that moment to let our inhibitions run rampant. What was it about 
this town and this case that drove us to a physical manifestation of 
whatever it was we had between us? I'm sure it had always been 
lurking under the surface of our professional veneers, but why 
now? Was it love? I didn't know. Why couldn't I control myself?

I'd never let myself consider the possibility of love. We were 
partners and best friends. In our jobs, we didn't have time for love. 
It was almost an unspoken agreement between us that we would 
never take our special bond to another level. To do so could be 
disastrous to our goal, to the truth we'd spent years searching for. 
How could we risk it all for something that might break us up in 
the end?

My thoughts were blasted from my mind as his tongue circled 
around my left nipple, his hand holding down the cup of my bra. 
When had he removed my scrub top?

"Jesus, Mulder. We're in the morgue, anyone can come in here and 
find us," I'd complained.

He looked me in the eye and nodded with finality. He turned 
around towards the door and I'd thought maybe he was going to 
leave. I was so wrong. "Don't move," he said over his shoulder.

I'd been butted up against the metal counter next to the sinks. I 
obeyed his request, not knowing what the hell to do with myself. I 
think I may have been in shock, and the tone he used was 
demanding. I couldn't see what he was doing. The sinks were in a 
small cove off the bigger room of the autopsy bay.

I heard two clicks and realized his intentions. He'd locked the 
double doors. Oh shit. My mind swirled with fear as it dawned on 
me that we really were going to fool around here; at the same time 
I could feel my lower extremities soften in preparation to receive 
him.

He entered the small area. His jacket and tie were removed; where 
he'd set them I wasn't sure. He moved towards me like a panther 
and I was his prey. My knees trembled. His gaze was feral and his 
hands were unbuckling his belt, and undoing the button and zipper 
on his pants.  They drooped on his lean hips and I wanted to touch 
him there with a desire that was nearly crippling.

His hands reached out and cupped my cheeks reverently. I was 
nervous. For whatever reason, I was nervous and believed he could 
see it in my eyes. "I can't wait to have you, Scully."

I nodded not knowing what to say. He slid his pants down, taking 
his boxer briefs along for the ride, and shoved them down to his 
knees, exposing himself.  He slowly took a hold of his engorged 
flesh and I gasped.

"This is what you do to me," he said as he lightly stroked his 
length.

I licked my lips and looked down. In our previous encounters, I 
hadn't really had the chance to fully see his equipment; I could 
only feel how huge he felt when he was within me. He seemed 
even bigger under the fluorescent lights above us. I watched him 
continue to stroke himself slowly. A small drop of pre-cum 
appeared at the tip of the large head.

I licked my lips and bit the bottom one. I don't know what came 
over me but I had to taste him.

He looked at me, his eyes were completely dilated and a sly grin 
adorned his beautiful face.

I looked from his eyes to his penis. He watched me while I waged 
war within my own mind. Did I want to kiss him or wrap my lips 
around his cock? In the end, his cock won. I fell to my knees in a 
whoosh. I gripped his hips keeping him steady and licked the tip, 
tasting the forbidden fruit. I slid my tongue all over the head, 
teasing him.

"God, Scully," he said as his hands came out and grasped the 
counter behind me for balance.

I smiled around his member as I took as much of his length as I 
could manage deep within my mouth. His hips tried to move from 
the kung fu grip I had on them to control his movements. He 
groaned loudly. I removed my lips from his length. "Mulder, you 
better keep it down or someone will hear us." I used my stern, 
don't-mess-with-me tone.

He nodded and I went back to work on him. I did everything I'd 
ever fantasized about. I let my tongue slide up and down his 
length, sucking hard on the head during my retreat and rubbing my 
lips around it.

I brought my hand up to cup and massage his balls, rolling them 
around like huge marbles. His breathing picked up to the point 
where he was shaking. I was able to get one last long suck of his 
cock when he suddenly pulled away. I looked up at him and 
frowned.

He gripped my underarms yanking me up and I fell against his 
body. His mouth came down on mine hard and fast. He gripped my 
hips and pushed me against the metal counter, my back biting into 
the edge.

"Ughhh," I grunted in pain.

"Are you alright?" he said between pants. His hands were kneading 
my hips.

"Uh huh, just the edge," I said as I rubbed the tender spot on my 
back.

"Do you want to stop?"

"Hell no! Are you kidding me? You do not get me all hot and 
bothered and then stop because of a little bruise." I was dead 
serious when I spoke. I wanted to be fucked and fucked now.

He waggled his eyebrows and gripped my hips tighter. His thumbs 
entered the edge of my scrubs and swiftly pushed them and my 
panties down to the floor. I stepped out of them and before I knew 
it he had lifted me up and set me on the cool metal counter top. His 
hands came around my ass bringing me to the edge. Our centers 
matched up perfectly. "You're all hot and bothered, huh?" he 
asked.

He was teasing but I could see the need for reassurance as his gaze 
held mine. "Yes, damn it.  You're driving me crazy."

The counter was freezing cold but I didn't care. I felt silly with just 
my orthopedic shoes and paper booties on for Christ's sake!  All I 
could focus on was his cock caressing my sex. It was divine.

"Scully, I don't know what's wrong with me. I want you 
constantly," he whispered in to my ear.  "I can usually control 
myself, but lately, God, woman.  You're driving me to distraction. 
I've never felt desire like this."

I wanted to tell him the feeling was mutual but he took that 
moment to fondle my opening with his fingers. I moaned and 
tipped my head back, leaning against the cabinets above the 
counter. "Mulder, now, please," I begged shamelessly.

He centered his cock at my entrance and shoved into me. I cried 
out in pleasure. He tipped my hips and moved in and out of me 
with long thrusts. The tempo was maddening.

"Harder.  More, mmmm," I egged him on.

He clenched my hips and started pounding into me, relentlessly. 
His body shook with the effort.

I held the edge of the counter as if I would fall off at any moment 
and arched my back, offering him the potential to push deeper 
within me.

His mouth came down on my neck and nipped the smooth skin.

I jutted my breasts closer to his face and he took the bait.

His tongue reached out and licked each puckered tip without losing 
the momentum in his lower body. He played me as if I was an 
instrument, instantly knowing which cord to pluck and when.

The symphony of our bodies came to a crescendo and I screamed 
out with the intensity of my orgasm. He covered my mouth with 
his, swallowing the sound.

The walls of my sex squeezed and clenched him as my heels dug 
into his lower back.

He groaned loudly and spilled into me. I found it amazing that our 
bodies were so in tune with the other that we would reach our 
peaks at the same time. Even in physical pleasure we were one. 
After the fireworks abated and our breathing slowed, we leaned 
against each other in a dreamy state of bliss.

"Mmmm, thank you, Scully," he said through small kisses to my 
cheeks, forehead, and anywhere else that struck his fancy on my 
face. "I needed you."

'Who knew he'd be so tender and sweet?' I thought.

He moved away from me, his penis slipping out. I bit my lip, 
trying not to whimper at the loss.

He moved over two feet to the sink next to us. He wet a couple of 
paper towels and came back. Without thinking I let him wipe me 
clean and then pat me dry. He tossed the paper towels into the 
nearby trashcan and lifted me off the counter, settling me on my 
wobbly legs. Everything he did seemed to be for my benefit. He 
was not the same man that ditched me and left me to my own 
device. He was different somehow.

He grabbed a couple more paper towels, cleaned himself up, and 
fixed his pants. He turned around and walked out of sight. Was he 
leaving, without saying anything to me? I chastised myself for the 
glum thoughts when he came back with the top half of my scrubs, 
handing it to me with a shy smile. I realized then that we had just 
screwed in the morgue and he was fully clothed save for his tie and 
jacket. 'Should I feel cheapened by our actions? No, it was 
Mulder,' I reminded myself.

I quickly put my scrubs back on and smoothed my hands over my 
hair. We left the little cove.

He sat back down where our lunch was and took a long drink of his 
iced tea while he handed me mine.

I gulped down several deep swallows of the cool drink.

"So Scully, you have more to do here, right?"

"Yeah, I still have the organs to weigh, close the body and provide 
the samples for the toxicology screen. I'd also like to get on the 
county intranet and review some information on the other two 
bodies."

He nodded. "Okay, well I'm going to head over and get the list of 
residents in Kent that work at the hospital." He stood up and put 
his jacket on. His dress shirt stretched against his chest reminding 
me of what I didn't get to touch during our current loss of control. 
"Do you want me to pick you up when you're done here?"

"No, that's okay. I'll call for a ride and meet you back at the B&B, 
unless something else comes up."

"Sounds good."

He picked up his keys from the small bench and came over to me. I 
had no idea what his intention was and lifted my eyebrows.

He slid his hand around my neck and kissed me. It was just a small 
pressure as he brushed his lips against mine. His thumb brushed 
my cheek in a wistful fashion. Then he pulled back and went to the 
door.  "Talk to you later." Then he was gone.

Okay, it was one thing to lose control during the heat of the 
moment, but it was another thing entirely to kiss your coworker 
goodbye. The scary thing was that he'd done it without a goofy 
smile or facetious grin, but a tender smile on his face. It was 
almost as if it was normal, like a husband kissing his wife 
goodbye, before he left for work in the morning. That had never 
been the case with us.

For some reason his gesture of affection bothered me more than 
the four times we'd lost control the past few days. That little kiss 
and thumb stroke indicated volumes about a relationship that I 
didn't know if we were ready to have. I sighed in frustration and 
went back to Mr. Johnson.

"What can you tell me that I don't already know?" I spoke to the 
lifeless body.


XXXXXXXXXX 
CHAPTER 9 
XXXXXXXXXX

NEW MILFORD HOSPITAL MORGUE 
NEW MILFORD, CT 
MAY 29, 1997 
THURSDAY - 9:00 AM

I pulled off my cap and protective glasses having completed the 
autopsy on victim number three, Mark Johnson.

I sat down at the small desk in the office and booted up the 
computer. While it woke from its slumber, I pulled out the files on 
Rebecca Stowe and my friend Christina Fuller from my briefcase. I 
reviewed the autopsy findings and compared the victims. The only 
thing that seemed remotely interesting was their stomach contents. 
All three victims had eaten bread within a few hours of dying. That 
connection however, wasn't uncommon. All American's eat bread 
on a regular basis, and often with every meal. No wonder obesity 
was an epidemic in this country.

I pulled out the toxicology reports from Rebecca and Christina. 
Mark's wouldn't be back until later on tonight. Everything looked 
normal. Rebecca had been taking Loestrin, a birth control pill, and 
Christina and been on Deprovera. A standard headache medication 
was found in both, antacids in Christina's, and a small trace of 
THC in Rebecca's.

Looked as though Rebecca liked to have the occasional joint of 
Marijuana. She was a college student. That wasn't unusual. They 
both showed traces of ginseng; probably iced tea drinkers. 
Although, a closer look revealed that the levels of ginseng 
compound were a lot higher in Christina's results than in 
Rebecca's. Much too high for a couple glasses of iced tea. What 
caught my attention though was the substance called yohimbine. 
I'd never heard of that before.

The computer was finally booted up. I was glad to see that New 
Milford Hospital wasn't that behind in technology and had a high- 
speed Internet connection.  I immediately began a search for 
information on the organic make-up of ginseng.

I reviewed the information and found nothing extraordinary except 
that it was considered an aphrodisiac. However, that theory had 
been debunked a hundred times over. There was no scientific 
evidence to support that theory. I then did some research on 
yohimbine. It was one of the other substances that showed up in 
both Rebecca and Christina. Yohimbine and a human hormone 
called LH.

Yohimbine was an alkaloid. It could be found in Rubaceae and 
related trees. These were generally found in Africa, which didn't 
make sense.  This substance was most likely imported. That could 
be a lead. If we could track down the importers, distributors, and 
subsequently, the buyers of this substance, it might be significant. I 
continued to read about yohimbine but stopped when something in 
the last paragraph caught my eye.

There was evidence that human pheromones elicited changes in the 
hormone levels of other humans. No conclusive proof that human 
pheromones altered hormone levels in other humans was available 
prior to 1996. However, in 1992, a scientist named 'Kohl' first 
presented evidence in a journal article called, 'Luteinizing hormone 
(LH), the link between sex and the sense of smell.'

The report also continued with the interesting information that 
male axillary extracts effected pulsatile secretion of luteinizing 
hormone [LH], which in turn, affected the mood of female 
recipients.

In short, what all that mumbo jumbo meant was that these victims 
all had elevated levels of ginseng, the alkaloid, yohimbine, and the 
hormone, LH, in their systems. That was simply too weird. If I'd 
learned one thing from Mulder, it was that there was no such thing 
as coincidences.

'Now why would both women have high levels of this in their 
system?' If Mark Johnson turned up with the same things, we could 
be on to something. I didn't remember Christina being an avid 
health food eater. Although Rebecca's levels were much smaller, I 
wondered if she could have been into ginseng tea. Nothing added 
up.

I picked up my cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"Mulder," he said cheerfully.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked, rubbing the knots out of my 
neck. Leaning over a dead body and the recent sexcapades with 
Mulder had done nothing for the tension in my muscles.

"Well, two hours ago I had a hot little redhead's heels digging into 
the small of my back. That's a pretty good reason to be happy." He 
laughed and waited for my comeback.

Oh, that reminded me of my own battle with the counter and I 
stretched. My back was still sore. "Is that right?"

"It was so right, Scully," he said like a lovesick puppy.

I giggled before I could contain it.

"What was that I just heard? Was that a giggle? My Scully 
giggles?" he teased.

'His Scully? Since when?' I wondered. I had to turn this 
conversation around to a more work-related and safe topic.

"Mulder, I found something interesting in both Rebecca and 
Christina's toxicology findings."

"Oh yeah, what did you find? Don't take the smile off my face. 
Give me some good news."

"Well, it seems that both women had ginseng and a substance 
called yohimbine in their system, which is a alkaloid found in 
African trees in the Rubaceae family. There is also a pheromone 
called LH that has been known to alter a female's moods, and 
excite males."

"Ginseng, yohimbine, and a pheromone?"

"Yeah."

"I'm going to start drinking Green Tea with Ginseng from now on, 
how about you?" he joked.

"Mulder, be serious. Something is affecting these people and if this 
isn't it, I'm at a loss for what it could be," I said.

"Ginseng is used in hundreds of things. It's also been cleared by the 
Food and Drug Administration long ago. It's a standard herb you 
can get in any health food store. How could that possibly turn 
someone into a murderer?"

I sighed completely frustrated. "I don't know. I only know that both 
women had larger amounts than can be explained by a couple 
glasses of iced tea. Maybe they were taking supplements?"

"That's possible."

"The most likely explanation is that this combination of 
pheromone, alkaloid and herb is producing some unusual mood 
levels. In some people, that turns out to be a good thing. In the case 
of our perps, it's turned out to be a bad thing. I'll know more when 
I get the tox screen from Mark Johnson. So what have you found? 
Anything?"

"Actually, I've got the list of residents and have compared it to the 
hospital employees. There are only a few people that commute to 
New Milford from Kent." His tone sounded confident.

"Lay it on me, partner," I requested.

"I thought I did that earlier," he said in a perfectly calm tone.

"Mulder, be serious. What did you find out?"

"Alright, I'm sorry, Scully. Well, the other four employees, besides 
Bernie Schultz, all have ironclad alibis during Christina's time of 
death. Three of them were doctors, and the other a nurse. They 
were all working at the hospital at the time."

"And where was Bernie?"

"According to the employees I spoke to earlier, he left after a staff 
lunch that day. He claimed he wasn't feeling well."

"Sounds pretty suspicious to me. I think we should have Sheriff 
Hartley bring him in."

"You're right, Scully. We don't exactly have probable cause, 
although, we can question anyone in a murder case. The most 
interesting thing about Bernie is that he's called in sick since that 
date. Hasn't returned to work."

"Hiding out, you think?"

"Could be.  We need to talk with this guy."

I nodded to myself and started gathering my things. I needed to 
shower and change. The smell of formaldehyde was everywhere. A 
clicking noise rung in my ears. "Ah, Mulder, I have another call. 
I'll talk to you later."

"Who? Your boyfriend?"

"Very funny, Mulder. I'll see you in a few hours." I clicked over to 
the other line.

"Scully," I said briskly as I walked towards the faculty showers.

"Agent Scully, this is Sheriff Hartley," he said in greeting.

"How can I help you, Sheriff?" I stripped off the bottoms to the 
scrubs I was given, juggling the phone as I pulled the top over my 
head.

"I wanted to let you and your partner know that we have Mark 
Johnson's killer in custody. Her name is Jennifer Schmidt."

"Really? That's great news. How did you find out that it was her?" 
I asked, surprised at the quick resolution.

"We didn't. She turned herself in. Said she couldn't live with the 
guilt of what she'd done. To be honest, I can't believe it myself. 
She's a nice gal, this Jennifer. You'd never think her for a 
murderer," he said somberly.

"Well Sheriff, not all murderers look like John Wayne Gacy."

He chuckled. "You're right about that, Agent Scully.  So, I imagine 
you and Agent Mulder would want to interview her."

"Yes we would, thank you for asking. We also think a hospital 
employee by the name of Bernie Schultz may have had something 
to do with Christina's death. He's been out sick since her body was 
found and went home ill after lunch on the day of her murder." I 
grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around my body then 
sat on the bench outside of the shower stalls.

"We've compared records and he's the only hospital employee who 
seems suspicious," I finished.

"Okay, we'll pick him up. I'll have one of our boys fax you her 
written confession tonight. You can interview Ms. Schmidt and 
Mr. Schultz tomorrow morning, provided Mr. Schultz doesn't give 
us any problems."

"We appreciate that, Sheriff. We'll see you then. Thank you."

"Evening, Agent Scully." He hung up.

'Tomorrow ought to be an interesting day,' I thought as I stepped 
into the steaming shower.

XXXXXXXXXX

All showered and changed, I exited the locker rooms. As I walked 
down the halls, I saw a man and a woman in white coats practically 
mauling each other against the wall. They were grinding their 
bodies against one another. I chuckled on the inside. They must not 
have realized that there were people working in the dungeon of the 
hospital.

I walked by at the exact moment the man hiked up the woman's leg 
and put his hand down her pants. Woo boy! They didn't even care 
that I was within three feet of them. It reminded me of what 
Mulder and I had done earlier. Just the mere thought of our noon 
dalliance made my mouth water.

I had it bad and I had no idea what to do about it. I'd called a cab 
earlier. It was waiting for me as I exited the hospital. I told the cab 
driver where to go and we were off. I watched the scenery pass by 
as I contemplated my relationship with Mulder.

We'd been together for years now. It was natural that our 
relationship would reach this stage at some point. I just didn't 
expect it to happen abruptly as it had. I was still concerned with the 
how's and why's, especially while on this case. It just seemed so 
out of character for us. Who was I kidding? It was out of character 
for me, more than Mulder. He'd always been a passionate man. I, 
on the other hand, have never been as passionate as he.

I'd prided myself on how in control of my actions and emotions I'd 
been able to be around him. I truly couldn't fathom how this had 
happened between us so quickly. One moment we were partners, 
friends, and confidants. The next we were fucking like rabbits. I'd 
even gone so far as to jump the man in the car for heaven's sake! 
How in the hell had I gotten the nerve to do something so 
outrageous?

Every question led to more questions.

The cab driver stopped in front of the B&B to let me out. As I 
walked up the pathway, I could see two people making out on the 
porch swing. They hadn't a care in the world as I clunked up the 
steep stairs. I found it odd how two couples, in various parts of 
town and within less than half an hour, would have such blatant 
disregard for public exposure.

This guy had his hand on her breast and was squeezing it while his 
tongue invaded her mouth. I shook my head at the display. Then 
again, who was I to judge? I had spent a part of my day going 
down on my partner in an autopsy bay.

What was it with this town? I entered the building and went 
straight to my room. I was exhausted and Mulder and I had a long 
day ahead of us tomorrow. I debated calling him for a moment, and 
then decided I'd better not. It could wait until later.

XXXXXXXXXX

COOPER CREEK B&B 
KENT, CT 
MAY 29, 1997 
THURSDAY - 3:00 PM

When I left Scully, I'd gone to get the list of residents from the 
Town Hall in the center of Kent.  It had been a productive 
endeavor. It nothing else, it highlighted Bernie Schultz as a prime 
candidate in Christina's murder.

Scully had called me before I could visit the OB/GYN that was on 
my list of things to do. Her information was most interesting; I 
needed to discuss it with her.

I didn't believe in coincidences. One person having some odd 
culinary tastes was one thing. Two or more was significant. I 
would have to also discuss that in greater depth with her later. 
While she'd brushed off my innuendo, it hadn't been with the 
exasperated, acidic tone that I was used to.

She had softened in the last few days. Making love agreed with 
her. Hell, it agreed with me as well.  Despite the harrowing reason 
for our presence here, I would never forget this investigation. It 
would forever be etched in my memory as the place where I finally 
lost my mind and Scully went along for the ride.

I was concerned that we still hadn't really talked.  She'd actually 
seemed surprised when I'd given her a kiss good-bye. I supposed it 
was unusual. However, after what we'd just shared, I couldn't just 
walk away. Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am was not my style. I 
wanted her to realize that this was about more than the sex, for me 
anyway. I wondered if she'd gotten the hint.

Hinting hadn't always worked with Scully in the past.  She liked 
her empirical evidence, the spoken or written word. I was willing 
to give her that. Thus far, however, she'd been unwilling to listen. 
That bothered me a great deal.

My interview with Dr. Elizabeth Happle had been brief. She'd 
advised me of what I already knew from the newspaper article 
Scully had shown me before we left Washington. Women in Kent, 
Cornwall, and Warren, had suddenly turned up with and 
unprecedented amount of pregnancies. Since these were small 
towns with populations of between one thousand and two thousand 
residents each, the percentage of pregnancies was an anomaly. Dr. 
Happle serviced a lot of women for their health needs in the area, 
not just in Kent, and had never seen this happen before.

She'd gone on to say that not all the pregnancies were in women 
who were married. The number of teen and young adult 
pregnancies was taking an alarming trip up the statistics scale as 
well. While these pregnancy statistics might be normal in the big 
cities, it wasn't common around here. The people here weren't 
stupid. She went on to explain that they weren't exactly caught in a 
time warp, either.

On the other hand, most of the locals were folks with simple 
lifestyles and churchgoers that taught their kids old-fashioned 
values.  Small populations meant that these children and teens 
received a lot of individual attention from teachers, parents, and 
friends, right up through their senior year of high school. True bad 
apples were rare and promiscuity among the younger members of 
the population was even rarer.

While many married couples were thrilled, many irate parents were 
not. She'd compared charts of quite of a few patients and could 
find nothing that linked them together in their medical histories. 
She'd began questioning her patients about recent activities and 
life's events as well, finding no common ground. She was stumped.

So was I.

Something was niggling at the back of my brain. I knew I was 
missing something important. I just hadn't made the connection 
yet. I hated it when that happened. I shook my head, knowing that 
the harder I tried, the farther away the elusive connection would 
run from me.

I pulled up to the B&B and parked the rental car.  I had no idea if 
Scully had made it back yet. I hoped so. Although we'd had lunch 
together and only a few hours had passed since then, I was eager to 
see her.  We needed to talk. No more putting it off. Last night had 
gone awry when my dick took over the conversation.

If I had to put Mulder Jr. in a vice tonight, I would. We WOULD 
have this conversation. No more avoiding the issue. She'd 
promised. The call to Kent Falls had delayed everything. God, I 
wanted to solve this case and go home. This town was driving me 
nuts. While it had its charms, I found driving a half hour to get gas 
an inconvenience I couldn't put up with for the long-term.

I hit the door at a trot, smiling at the couple making out on the 
bench in front of the B&B. What was it with people lately? The 
sheriff and his deputies reported higher incidents of intimacy with 
their wives, people were making out on the sidewalks, Scully and I 
were fucking in an autopsy bay! What was the world coming to?

Wait a minute.

If I were a cartoon character, screeching noises would have been 
heard as my brain skidded to a halt.

Increased sexual activity in at least three closely-located towns.

Married people getting their groove on again after months of 
abstinence.

Teens and young adults boinking like bunnies.

Ginseng, LH pheromone, yohimbine in two, possibly three, 
victims, which has been stated to increase moods and excite males 
sexually and make them more aggressive and less inhibited.

'Come on, Mulder! Put it together!' I admonished myself.

"Something in the water," Deputy Harrison had said.

NO! Not the WATER. The FOOD! Oh my God. Why hadn't I 
thought of it before? It was so obvious. It had to be some locally 
purchased food item.

I chewed on this idea as I took the stairs two at a time. There was a 
lot of food around here, even though it was a small town. That had 
to be it. I knew Scully would want her scientific proof. I was onto 
something, though. I could feel it.

The bounce returned to my step by the time I reached the second 
floor. Screw sleep. I had to talk to Scully. I knocked sharply on her 
door three times.

I heard her murmur and then the door was swinging open. She 
stood there waving me in. She'd changed and was wearing loose 
fitting cotton pants with an elastic waist with a scoop necked shell. 
She looked sexy as hell. I looked down and saw her painted 
toenails sticking out from the hem of her pants and was shocked at 
the bolt of arousal that flew through me.

'No,' I thought. 'I was going to control it this time.' I looked back 
up to her face and found her smiling at me, clearly amused.

"Mulder, what's up? I'm glad you're back. I'm starving. Are we 
eating downstairs or going out?"

"We're not eating here tonight," I said with finality and brushed by 
her to enter the room. I turned as she closed the door.

"I was napping, but now I'm hungry," she said.  It was stated 
simply, but it struck me as adorable.  She was practically pouting 
as she spoke.  However, I didn't think she would be amused by my 
observation.

"I think I figured something out, Scully."

"What?" she asked immediately, her interest peaked.

I sat on the end of her bed and she came over, sitting on the side of 
the bed and curling one leg underneath her to face me. I twisted so 
I could see her face, mimicking her pose. "It's the food."

"What?"

"I had a conversation today with the sheriff and the deputies. 
Deputy Harrison said something interesting that I forget to 
mention. He and his wife have been having a lot of sex lately."

"Married couples do have sex, Mulder," she said sarcastically.

"I know that," I growled. "His exact words were that 'she was 
insatiable lately'.  A little prodding got the other deputy and the 
sheriff to admit that their wives have been extraordinarily horny 
lately."

"They said that?" she asked incredulously.

"Not in those words. I won't repeat the ones they actual used. The 
point is that their behavior has changed. I was talking to Dr. 
Happle and she said that all her case comparisons on the rash of 
pregnancies in Warren, Cornwall, and Kent have yielded no 
common denominators."

"You're losing me," she said quietly.

"Stick with me, Scully. So Harrison made a comment about 
'something in the water'. I asked about a town water supply."

Her eyebrow rose. "I hadn't thought of that."

"It was a bust. They laughed at me. There is no town water supply. 
Everybody has a well around here, but then as I was contemplating 
all this, it fell into place. You found those chemicals in the tox 
screens in two victims. I'm a betting man. I'd bet you find the same 
things in Mark Johnson. What I'd like to know is if our alleged 
murderers have the same elements in their system. If so, it could 
easily be something in the food."

"There are a million food items, Mulder. It would be impossible to 
track down something that vague. We might be able to trace 
distributors of yohimbine or even ginseng, but even that's a long 
shot."

"Maybe not. Think about it. It's only happening here and in a few 
nearby towns. It's got to be something purchased and eaten locally; 
something that isn't distributed out in the big, bad world."

Both eyebrows went up this time. I knew she was intrigued when 
both eyebrows went up. "Okay, I see where you're going now. I 
still don't know how we can determine which food it could be.  We 
don't know at this point if it's even an edible food product that's 
causing this."

"How many food items are going to have those ingredients?" I 
asked.

"Good point, but where do we start?"

"I'm not sure. I'm thinking maybe it's not a staple item. It's got to 
be something that you don't get everywhere, so that narrows it 
down a little. Maybe we should check with the local grocery and 
see if they buy any products from local manufacturers, rather than 
established companies like Coke and Pepsi, for instance."

"It's a start. We may be trying to find a needle in a haystack, 
though. However, the only common major food item both victims 
had in their stomachs was bread."

"Maybe it's some sandwich meat product. I don't know, but it's all 
I've got at the moment. I can't tell you why but I just know it's 
something in the food."

She nodded. "I trust your hunches, Mulder."

"You do?" I asked with surprise.

She smiled. "Yes, I do."

"Well, well. You learn something every day," I teased.  She 
chuckled and I felt my groin tighten.  Shit, I had to get out of here. 
"Why don't we go to New Milford or somewhere close and find 
someplace to eat?" I suggested.

She frowned. "I'm hungry," she said again.  My God, she was 
pouting.

I grinned. "I know, but now that I think it's the food, I'm hesitant to 
eat here in town."

She groaned. "I don't want to drive all the way back to New 
Milford. It's at least twenty minutes!" she complained.

I was getting a kick out of this. Scully was whining!  It was so 
cute! I didn't think she'd appreciate that observation either. "Trust 
me. I'll drive, you can continue napping if you want."

"All right, but let's go now. I'm starved."

I stood up. "Let me change into something comfortable."

She groaned again in mock indignation.

I laughed. "I'll be two minutes. I'm not like you.  It doesn't take me 
an hour to get ready to go somewhere."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, not sure whether to be 
insulted or not.

I leaned over and planted a quick kiss right on her lips. "It means 
I'm a man, and you're a woman," I stated simply.

"Astute observation, Agent Mulder," she said wryly.

"That's why they pay me the big bucks," I shot back at her.

She was smiling when I exited through the connecting door, 
already ripping my tie off. True to my word, I'd simply stripped 
my suit and left it lying on the bed. I yanked on a pair of jeans and 
my sneakers.  Rather than a tee shirt, I pulled on a clean dress shirt. 
I wasn't sure where we were eating and I didn't want to be dressed 
like a bum. I rolled up the sleeves and slipped my glasses on my 
face. I was finding I needed them more and more to drive, 
especially at night.

I knocked on the connecting door and she swung it open. Her eyes 
frankly raked me up and down. I felt my body respond with 
tingling and ruthlessly suppressed it. "Let's go," I said, waving her 
ahead of me.

We were in the car and headed back to New Milford in under five 
minutes. I'd snagged a brochure in the lobby of the B&B that listed 
area restaurants. Scully was scanning it with the dome light on as I 
concentrated on the road.


XXXXXXXXXX 
CHAPTER 10 
XXXXXXXXXX

THE BISTRO 
31 BANK STREET 
NEW MILFORD, CT 
MAY 29, 1997 
THURSDAY - 7:30 PM

We ended up at a quaint little place called The Bistro. Scully 
ordered chicken cord en bleu and I ordered a New York Strip 
steak. The food was delicious and reasonably priced. We were both 
impressed.

We ate in silence for a while till the bulk of our hunger was 
satisfied. As we slowed down, I said, "We need to talk, Scully."

"Mmm. Yeah, I was thinking about it. Trying to come up with a 
strategy about how to approach this food thing. Maybe Alice can 
give us a list of local grocery stores and places that sell foods 
produced by local cottage industries."

I sighed, tamping down my exasperation. "I meant about us, 
Scully."

She stopped in mid-chew, staring at me. After a beat, she finished 
chewing slowly and swallowed. She took a drink of her seltzer 
water and patted her lips with her cloth napkin.

I waited, never taking my eyes off her face. Finally she lowered 
her head for a second as though gathering herself and then looked 
up to meet my gaze. "Okay, talk."

"You're acting like I'm the firing squad again," I said. Even I could 
hear the hurt in my voice and I cursed internally. As much as I 
hated looking weak in front of Scully, I couldn't help it sometimes. 
Our relationship was too important, and her constant denial that it 
existed, except when I was buried inside her or had my tongue 
down her throat, was really starting to irritate me. What did she 
think I was going to do? It was like she was forgetting that we 
were friends.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to say."

"This isn't about what I want you to say. I want you to tell me how 
you feel about this. Every time I've broached the subject," I began.

"We've ended up having sex," she completed the sentence for me.

I nodded. "When we've been together, Scully, its felt right," I 
admitted. I hung my head, looking at my unfinished steak and 
feeling a lump form in my throat. I cleared it loudly and shook my 
head, a bit embarrassed.

"I agree there's something between us, Mulder," she said quietly.

"Something?  That's it?" I asked.

"Damn it," she swore softly.  "I'm not good at this."

"I'm not grading you, Scully. Relax. I'm just saying that we can't 
keep sleeping together and then not talk about it, like there's 
nothing unusual going on here. We've been partners for a long 
time."

"Over six years," she stated the obvious.

"You've turned into more than my best friend, Scully.  You're my 
confidante, the only one I trust."

"I trust you too, Mulder. I guess I'm confused as to why this is 
happening now. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like it's all 
happening so fast."

"Well, the physical part is, but you have to know it's not just about 
the sex." I paused. "Don't you?"

Her face softened into a close-lipped smile. "Same here, Mulder. I 
guess I never allowed myself to think of us as a couple," she 
admitted.

I smiled sadly. "Not true for me," I admitted in return.

"No?" she asked, encouraging further explanation.

I guess if I wanted her to be forthcoming, I was going to have to do 
the same. Somehow, I felt like I was opening Pandora's Box. If I 
didn't handle this just right, I could screw the pooch in a big way. 
No pun intended. "I've thought about us a lot."

"Really? What, exactly?" she asked.

"You, me, together," I clarified.

"Could you be more specific? Together how?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "How can you be so 
blind?" I said, nearly under my breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, her voice curt.

Uh oh. Pay attention, Mulder. Screwed pooch approaching. "I just 
mean that it's nearly incomprehensible to me that you don't know 
how I feel about you."

She stared at me for so long that I didn't think she was going to 
respond. I opened my mouth to continue, but finally, she said, 
"How would I know, Mulder?"

I guess she had a point there. Although I clearly remembered the 
time after a brush with death in the Bermuda Triangle where I'd 
told her I loved her.  I later realized her less than reciprocal 
response was because she thought I was drugged to the gills.  I 
was, but I had been sincere. The drugs had just loosened my 
tongue and my inhibitions.

She continued, "I mean, we obviously work well together, and if 
the last few days is any indicator, we play well together too."

I grinned and waggled my eyebrows. It fell flat but she smiled at 
my lame attempt at levity anyway.

"At the same time, I just don't get it. Why now?  After all this 
time?"

"Maybe the time was right. Maybe we needed to be in a place 
where neither of us was in a life or death situation." I paused. 
"Neither one of us was were injured, drugged, or emotionally 
needy."

Her head snapped up suddenly. "Wait a minute!"

"What?" I asked.

Her brows scrunched in concentration. "Maybe we were drugged," 
she suggested.

"What?"

"You said yourself that you suspect that it's something in the food. 
We've been eating there. The sheriff and his deputies are having a 
holiday with their wives revived libido." Her voice rose slightly as 
she warmed to her theory. "People are all over each other. I don't 
know if you saw them outside the B&B, but there was a couple 
going at it right there on the bench. There was another couple at 
the morgue that was groping each other like it was their last day on 
earth.  They were so involved in one another they didn't even 
notice me walk by. Christ! I'm a professional. You, well, you're a 
professional too, most of the time," she qualified.

I frowned. Now it was my turn to not be sure whether to be 
insulted or not.

"Even I couldn't control myself!" Her voice lowered to a fierce 
whisper in an attempt not to attract the attention of other diners.

"Even you, huh?" I said sarcastically.

"We fucked in an autopsy bay, for Christ's sake," she hissed.  "We 
couldn't control ourselves while we were on a case, while we were 
in the middle of an investigation. Jesus, while I was literally on the 
job!" she finished.

I felt the backs of my eyelids sting. My eyes pooled with tears and 
I blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. I couldn't look at her. 
Obviously this meant a lot more to me than it did to her.

"What's the matter, Mulder?" she asked, suddenly concerned.

I raised my hand and signaled for the waiter, forestalling my 
answer. He approached and handed me the check. I handed him 
my credit card and he walked away.

"Mulder," she said, trying to get my attention as I stared at my lap.

"Give me a minute," I hissed through clenched teeth.  She just 
didn't get it. We weren't on the same page at all. I had that sinking 
feeling I always got when I got to close to a woman. I'd thought 
Scully would be different. Maybe it was too much to hope for. 
Unfortunately, I was afraid she was going to do the same thing that 
every other woman I'd allowed close to me had done.

She was going to break my heart.

Damn me for a fool. I was going to let her do it. I was helpless to 
stop it. Knowing how I felt about her, this one was going to hurt 
worse than all the rest put together.

The waiter appeared and I scribbled my name on the slip and 
handed it back to him. I grabbed the receipt and shoved it 
unceremoniously into my pocket and stood up.

She followed me silently to the door with a puzzled expression on 
her face. Jesus, she didn't even know what she was doing to me.

Once outside and away from nosey patrons, she grabbed my 
forearm to stop me.  "Mulder, what the hell? I'm trying to talk to 
you and you suddenly clam up on me. What's going on?"

"How does it feel, Scully?" I snapped.

"Damn it, I'm trying!" she cried.

I skidded to a halt and spun so fast that she was startled and took a 
step back, releasing my arm. I nearly growled at her. "Maybe YOU 
fucked in the autopsy bay," I shot at her.

"What?" she asked, clearly confused. "Was I the only one there?" 
she asked, now indignant. "If everyone is being drugged somehow, 
then so are we, Mulder. It's as plausible an explanation as any," she 
finished coolly.

"That would be nice and convenient for you, wouldn't it?" I spat at 
her.

"What the hell are you talking about? Those are the facts, Mulder!"

"Yeah, and you love your facts, don't you? Well, let me tell you 
something, Ms. I've-Got-It-All-Figured-Out. If you think our trip 
to this town was the first time I dreamed about sleeping with you, 
you are sadly mistaken."

"What are saying? We weren't drugged?"

I pressed my lips together and swallowed noisily. I tried to make 
my voice calm, despite the roiling emotions inside me. "I don't 
know what you were doing, Scully." I paused, deciding to go for 
broke.  I had nothing left to lose anyway.  If she was going to 
break my heart, there was nothing I could do to stop her. "So what 
if we were drugged? That isn't the point, Scully!"

"Then what is the fucking point?" she yelled.

"The point? The point is that I wasn't FUCKING. I was MAKING 
LOVE to you," I hissed.

Her eyes went wide in her face. I couldn't look at her. I spun and 
took off down the sidewalk, zeroing in on the car. After a moment, 
I could hear her trotting to try and keep up.

I got into the car and popped the locks without saying a word. She 
slid in silently next to me. When she turned her face to the 
window, avoiding me, I knew I had my answer. She hadn't been 
making love to me. This was just physical for her. She'd been 
fucking me.  She was horny and I was a nice hard piece of 
satisfaction. While I wasn't against a good, satisfying fuck now and 
then, that wasn't the extent of it for me. I was in love with her. Was 
it only yesterday I'd said to myself that I couldn't be her fuck- 
buddy? Would I be able to keep that resolve?  How could I resist 
her?

I drove back to the B&B with a heavy heart. The entire twenty- 
minute trip was made in total silence.

XXXXXXXXXX

COOPER CREEK B&B 
KENT, CT 
MAY 29, 1997 
THURSDAY - 9:30 PM

When the car came to a halt in front of the B&B Mulder jumped 
out and took the steps to the entrance two at a time. I tried to keep 
up but his much longer legs left me in the dust. He opened the door 
and slammed it behind him before I could enter myself. 'Fine, he 
wants it that way, he can have it that way,' I thought to myself. As 
I entered, he shot up the stairs to our rooms. I could hear his door 
slam behind him.

Alice was sitting at her post and cringed when she heard the noise. 
"Troubles, deary?" she questioned.

Great, just what I needed.

She made her way slowly from behind her alcove and took my 
hand. "Why don't we have a little tea in the kitchen?"

I almost told her that I was too tired to have tea but she wasn't 
having it. "Your fella there will be fine on his own. Just give him a 
little time."

The old woman ushered me through the dining room and into the 
kitchen where a small breakfast table sat invitingly. I sat at one of 
the wooden chairs, placed my elbows on the table and clasped my 
head in my hands. I sighed loudly.

I sincerely had no idea how I was going to handle the situation 
between Mulder and me. I was honest with him when I'd said that I 
wasn't good at this sort of thing. I'm not. I've never been good at 
relationships. There was always something more important 
happening in my life at the time, whether it had been my schooling 
or my career goals. I was good at using these as excuses for not 
working on personal matters.

I had never really considered settling down with any of the men in 
my past. It just didn't seem to be in the cards. Then when I was told 
I was unable to have children, the point was moot from then on 
out. In my mind, half the purpose of marriage was to have 
children.  While I wasn't against having a relationship, if I couldn't 
have children, I didn't really see the point in getting married.

What the hell did he mean when he said he made love to me? Was 
he trying to say that he really was IN LOVE with me? I knew he 
was fond of me, and now that I thought about it, he had been more 
open since the case began. I'd taken his reciprocation as a man 
happy to be having sex again after a long draught. That didn't mean 
that I was willing to change our relationship after six years because 
of a few rolls in the hay.

'Now Dana, you know he means more to you than that. Even if you 
were drugged it didn't magically make you desire the man. That's 
been there all along,' I chided myself.

If I were honest with myself and Mulder, I'd tell him how strong 
my feelings were for him. That the mere possibility of him not 
being in my life makes me feel like I'm going to have a heart 
attack. Whenever he's had a run-in with death, I've had earth 
shattering panic attacks.

The fact was that no man in my entire life could compare to the 
amount of pleasure emotionally, spiritually, and most recently, 
physically, that I'd received from Mulder.

I was knocked out of my reverie by Alice setting a steaming cup of 
tea in front of me. "Thank you, Alice." I took a sip.

She nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head.

"I often find that when you can talk about your problems with 
someone else, you can better understand how to handle the 
problem yourself." She looked at me with sincere blue eyes.

"It's nothing personal, Alice, but I'm a very private person."

"I understand."

"I don't normally discuss my private life with anyone."

"Maybe that's the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that nobody's an island. We all need somebody sometime. 
Do you have any girlfriends you might talk with?"

"No, our work keeps us pretty isolated most of the time. I have my 
family, but my social life suffers for the job.  I've never minded 
that, really. I've never been a social butterfly."

"Hmmm. Now you're obviously upset though. I know we don't 
know each other well, but I'm willing to listen. Sometimes it's 
easier to talk to a stranger. Besides, who am I going tell? You'll 
leave here once you solve your case."

I stared at her for a moment before deciding to give in and try her 
way. "Okay, well, my partner and I are fighting," I said with a sigh.

"And is that unusual for the two of you?"

"No, not at all." I chuckled. "We often disagree on a great many 
things. It's part of who are, and it balances us when dealing with 
work-related things."

"But this isn't a work-related problem, I'm assuming." She smiled.

"No, it's not," I said glumly, not knowing how to continue.

She took mercy on me. "So, then you're having romantic problems 
with the young man?"

I nodded.

"And you're not used to this? Is your relationship new, honey?" she 
asked without any hint of prurient interest.

"Yes," I said miserably.

"Well, what's the problem? You can tell me, sugar."

Her kindness did me in. Before I knew it I was sobbing into her 
arms as she patted my back comfortingly.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. He practically told me he 
loves me and I reacted horribly." I sniffed and she handed me the 
tissue box on the table.

"Do you not love him?" she asked softly.

"I do. I know I do, but it's so hard for me to admit it to him. Our 
relationship has never been like that, and all of a sudden I'm 
expected to just come right out and admit everything I've spent the 
better part of six years hiding from him!" I sobbed.  I was 
embarrassed by my loss of composure.

She was not surprised at my outburst. She just stroked my arm 
soothingly. "Sugar, you're going to have to tell him if you don't 
want to lose him."

I nodded. "I know Alice, and that's all he wants from me is my 
honesty. It's just, we've been through so much together, and I have 
a hard time risking what we already have. It means the world to 
me. He means the world to me, and if I were to lose him, I don't 
know what I'd do."

"I know, sugar, I know. You don't have to worry about that. He 
told me that he loved you."

"He did?" I was shocked. Apparently Mulder didn't have a problem 
sharing information about his personal life.

"Yup. Right after you stalked out from dinner the other night. I 
thought that it might have been my cooking but he told me 
otherwise."

"Oh Alice, your food is amazing. All of the places around here are. 
We especially enjoyed that restaurant, what was it again, Fife and 
something?"

"Fife & Drum. Of course it's great food. My nephew owns the 
place and uses all my homemade recipes for just about everything 
on the menu." She puffed with pride. "Now back to you, that man 
up there loves you. Why are you so afraid to love him back?"

That was the question of the century. What was I afraid of? "I don't 
know, Alice. When I was younger I never really thought of myself 
as the type that would settle down. I rejected my mother's lifestyle 
as a Navy wife. Don't get me wrong, I adore my mother and 
always appreciated her loving support. I just never thought I would 
be able to be that selfless. I chose to put all my efforts into my 
career.

"After finding out that I was barren a couple years ago, I was 
surprised how undesirable it made me feel. I guess I didn't realize 
how much that meant to me as a woman until the choice was taken 
away. I'm a professional woman. I replaced my desire for a 
husband and family with my career. Or, I thought I did. It also 
made me reevaluate the value of marriage. My partnership with 
Mulder is everything to me."

Boy was that hard for me to admit. I'd never told anyone of my 
fears before now. I didn't know why I was telling her but she just 
felt like a grandmother of sorts.

"Honey, does this fella upstairs want to have children?" she asked 
her question hesitantly.

I imagined she might have been afraid to ask after realizing the 
severity of what I'd told her.

"We haven't discussed it. He's never mentioned having children 
before."

"So then, might it stand to reason that he's unconcerned with such 
trivial things?" She paused. "Seems to me you've made a lot of 
assumptions.  One being that he cares whether or not you can have 
children.  Two, that he feels that this makes you undesirable. Just 
because you feel undesirable doesn't mean you are undesirable. If 
what he said to me was any indication, he desires you plenty."

I looked up at her stunned. How could she think that having 
children was trivial?

"Don't you think there's more to life than a family, Sweetie?"

"I guess."

"My Ollie and I were married 45 years before he passed, and we 
never had children. We were too much in love with each other and 
too selfish to give up what we had to raise children. Sometimes it's 
just about choices. Other times it's about dealing with the hand 
your dealt. Either way though, I think you're not being fair to your 
young man. You're making assumptions and you don't even really 
know how he feels about these things."

"You've got a point there," I said.

"Listen to me. Children are great for some people, but they aren't 
for everyone. Do you believe in fate?"

I grinned because she almost sounded like Mulder for a second 
there. "I'm not sure."

"Well, I think everything happens for a reason.  Maybe you can't 
have children because you're simply meant to do other things. 
There's a whole big world out there. Children aren't the only legacy 
a person can leave, you know? Think of Einstein! Think of 
Christopher Columbus, or Emmeline Pankhurst!"

I thought hard and remembered Emmeline Pankhurst and her 
daughters, Christabel and Sylvia.  They were the founders of the 
Women's Social and Political Union in 1903.  The members were 
later called suffragettes after a term first used in a British 
newspaper.

It was hard not to be sucked in by her enthusiasm.  "I don't think 
I'm destined to be a great scientist, discoverer, or suffragette," I 
replied ruefully.

"Maybe not, but the point is that you don't know what you're meant 
to do. You just have to go out there and do the best you can. That 
means with relationships too. I might not have children, but I have 
this place, I have a wonderful nephew, and I have secret recipes!" 
she declared proudly. "Sometimes we make our own future."

"Are you saying I have to make my own happiness?"

"I'm saying that I think you're fighting it."  She tapped my sternum 
lightly. "Look in there. You'll know the right thing to do. Tell him 
how you feel, sugar. There's no reason for the two of you to be 
alone. I can see it in the way that you look at each other that there 
could never be anyone else. Why put yourselves through life alone 
when you can have so much more?" She leaned forward and kissed 
the side of my cheek just like my grandmother used to do when I 
was a kid.

"Thank you, Alice. I'll do just that."

"If you don't believe in fate, then how about God's will?" she asked 
softly.

"I have a strong faith," I said immediately.

"Do you?  If so, then you also believe that everything happens for 
a reason. Maybe you're just not meant to know what that is yet. 
That's always the hardest part of doing God's will for me."

"What's that?"

"Accepting the answer he gives me."

I nodded in understanding. With my resolve settled, I was off to 
talk to Mulder. Hopefully after everything I've put him through the 
past few days he can see through it to forgive me and we can start 
over.

Lord willing.


XXXXXXXXXX 
CHAPTER 11 
XXXXXXXXXX

COOPER CREEK B&B 
KENT, CT 
MULDER'S ROOM 
MAY 29, 1997 
THURSDAY - 10:00 PM

I knocked on his door until his muffled voice filtered though, "Go 
away, Scully."

'Fine I will,' I thought.

I entered my own room and went to the bathroom where our rooms 
were connected. He never locked the connecting door and I wasn't 
willing to let him refuse me. Alice had made things so clear to me. 
I realized that I didn't need to fight this change between us. It was 
inevitable. This was just another portion of my life that I had to go 
through.  Hiding from it or denying it wasn't going to make it go 
away.

I turned the knob to his room. Just as I thought, it was unlocked. I 
opened the door. He was lying on the bed on his stomach, his face 
buried in a pillow. Only one of the bedside lamps was on. An ice 
bucket and a glass of what looked like whiskey in a tumbler sat on 
the end table. To my relief, it didn't look like he'd even touched the 
drink. Almost as if he'd dropped the ice into the glass, poured it 
and then forgot about it.

"Scully, some privacy please. I really don't want to see you right 
now." The pillow muffled his words.

I went to the bed and sat down on it. I lifted my hand to his head. 
He flinched at my touch. I realized I had a lot of making up to do. 
I'd hurt him and this wasn't going to be easy.

"Mulder, I want to talk to you." I wisped my fingers through his 
scalp hoping that the caress would make him realize that I wasn't 
here to make things worse.

"I thought you said all you needed to say at the restaurant. Look, 
its okay, Scully, you don't need to do this. I'll be fine. You don't 
need to coddle me." He turned around so that I wasn't touching him 
any longer. "I'm a big boy, really. I'm not in high school anymore. 
I think I can handle the girl I have a crush on not wanting to wear 
my ring." He was trying to be cool but it wasn't working.

"It's not like that, Mulder," I said with a sigh.

"Then you tell me what it is, Scully?" He got up and started pacing 
the room. "You've never admitted your feelings to me. You always 
have to be so strong. Why can't you be honest with me?" he 
questioned. "What?  I'm good enough to fuck but I'm not good 
enough to trust with your feelings?"

I really didn't have the answer he was looking for. I didn't know 
why I felt this need to hide things from him, or never let my true 
feelings show. "Mulder, it's not you. It's always been like this for 
me. I've never been able to easily let my guard down with men."

"I'm not just any man, Scully. I'm your partner. You and I have 
been through hell and back. The only thing that kept us from losing 
everything time after time was each other. You and me." He 
pointed his finger between us to emphasize his comment.

"I know Mulder, and I'm sorry. All of this has been so sudden," I 
started and he cut me off.

"It's been six years! It's not as if I woke up yesterday and thought, 
'I love Dana Scully. What do you know?' I agree with you that the 
physical part started recently. Yes, we may have been drugged but 
it only brought out our desire, not created it.  It just lowered our 
inhibitions.  It's not as though that desire wasn't there before we 
stepped foot in this town."

I nodded.

"If you're going to break my heart by saying that you've never felt 
that way before, I'd rather we didn't drag it out, all right? Just 
leave 
now."

"No, I wouldn't say that. It's been there for me too," I admitted.

"It has? You have? You've desired me?"

"Yes."

"Then what is so wrong about wanting more and taking that next 
logical step in our relationship? What is it about me that scares you 
so much?" He sighed and collapsed into the chair across from the 
bed.

"Mulder, you are so passionate, so all encompassing.  I'm afraid I 
won't be able to keep up sometimes."

"Passionate is a bad thing?"

"For me, yes. I could so easily lose myself in you. Everything 
we've worked so hard to achieve could be lost."

"Scully, we're still the same people. Just because we choose to 
spend our nights and weekends together, as well as our workday, 
doesn't make us any less driven towards the truth. It actually might 
make us more driven to find the answers we so desperately seek. 
Without the constant sexual tension, I might add." He clasped his 
hands around his knees and looked at me.

I was shaking uncontrollably. I knew I wanted to tell him 
everything I admitted to Alice but it was so difficult.  "It would 
change everything."

"Only for the better. I can believe in just about anything. You 
know that, but I can't believe that loving you is wrong. I won't 
believe it. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.  Damn 
it, Scully, it hurts so bad when you shut me out."

My breath hitched as he once again mentioned loving me. I 
decided now was the time to take that risk. Lord help me, for I've 
fallen.  "I want to wear your class ring, Mulder," I said softly.

He looked at me, confused, then his eyes squinted with 
uncertainty. His earlier statement must have dawned on him and he 
gazed at me as if I'd grown horns. "Scully, don't. Just don't get my 
hopes up." He got up from the chair.

"I'm so sorry, Mulder." I bowed my head in shame for putting him 
through all of my teetering back and forth between wanting to take 
the plunge and being to afraid to.

He strode back to me, daggers in his eyes. "Sorry for what, Scully? 
Sorry that you hurt me? Sorry that you're breaking my heart? What 
else is new? Every woman I've ever been with has broken my 
heart. It would only make sense that the one woman I really loved 
and wanted to love me back, didn't!"

"But, I do," I whispered as tears rolled down my cheeks. I swiped 
them away quickly not wanting him to see me cry and bowed my 
head from his prying eyes.

"What did you say?" He tipped my chin and forced me to look into 
his eyes.

I shook my head, once again afraid to tell him the truth.

"No Scully, no fucking hiding! What did you say?"

"I said that, I, I do love you," I stuttered.

"Don't say it because you want me to feel better or you somehow 
want to mend this rift between us." His hands came down on my 
shoulders.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Mulder. You know that," I said.  I closed my 
eyes. I'd lost the battle with my tears and they slid down my face 
unchecked. I was leaving myself open and raw to him. He would 
understand the gesture.

He kissed each of my tears away. "You love me?"

I opened my eyes and nodded. "You love me?" I turned the 
question around on him.

"With everything I am, Scully."

"Show me."

When I asked him to show me, I rather expected this encounter to 
be as quick, fast, and hard as the last few were. He wasn't having 
any of that.

His fingertips moved from my shoulders and skimmed up the sides 
of my neck, over my hairline, down my cheekbones. His thumbs 
settled on my lips. I kissed each of them.

"Scully, if we do this, there's no going back to before. I can't be a 
fuck-buddy. I can't just have sex with you anymore. It has to be 
more."

"I know, Mulder." I grabbed his forearms and pulled him over me. 
He came down on me with a grunt. "You're worth the risk," I told 
him.

He nodded and straddled me.

I pushed myself to the center of the bed so that my legs didn't 
dangle off the edge.

He unbuttoned my blouse one button at a time. His fingertips 
barely touched my sternum and down over my navel in light 
feathery caresses. He pushed aside my blouse and I lifted onto my 
elbows so that I could take it off. I wanted nothing between us this 
time, full skin on skin action. He pulled down the zipper to my 
skirt.

I kicked off my heels and shimmed out of the skirt and my nylons 
the best I could, with a one hundred and seventy pound man 
straddling me. There I laid in a baby pink cotton bra and panty set.

His eyes roved over me as if I was a veritable feast in front of him. 
Truth be told, I loved it when he looked at me as if I was a piece of 
meat he couldn't wait to take a bite out of. It made me feel 
feminine, desirable, wanted. The feelings were such a stark 
contrast to the very buttoned-up Agent Scully. He made me believe 
I was beautiful, with just one feral look. When I considered it, it 
sounded chauvinistic to me, but I'd never had a man look at me in 
such a way. It made my head spin and my mouth water.

He took his time staring at me. I was sure I made one helluva 
vision, almost bared in front of him, chest heaving, mouth open, 
sucking in air as if each breath was my last. It would be 
embarrassing if it weren't Mulder. I trusted him enough to let 
myself be vulnerable.

Finally his hands unbuttoned his own shirt. His eyes didn't leave 
my body. It seemed as if he were cataloging all of my body parts. 
Knowing Mulder, it very well could be what he was doing. He 
dropped his dress shirt to the floor and tugged the undershirt over 
his head. He tossed it to the growing pile of clothes by the bed. He 
stood, unbuckled his belt then dropped his jeans and boxers in one 
big heap at his feet. He nudged his shoes off and pulled off his 
socks. He never took his eyes from my body.

Talk about visions. He was the most stunning specimen of a man 
that I'd ever seen.  He had a beauty you'd never get tired of seeing. 
At the same time, he was like the sun. If you looked at him too 
long, you'd go blind. My mouth opened but no words came out. 
His entire body from the top of his head to the tips of his toes was 
utterly fascinating. Nothing should be that gorgeous.

I finally licked my lips and whispered, "Damn, I'm one lucky 
woman!"

"I'm the lucky one, Scully," he said reverently as he crawled back 
over my body straddling me once again.

I scraped my nails through the fine hairs on his large, muscular 
thighs. He practically purred. His hands settled on the sides of my 
head as he curled into a position where he could nip and kiss at my 
neck easily. He licked my neck. "Mmmm salty," he whispered.

He kissed his way down to my right breast and blew on the cotton 
fabric making my nipple visible through the cup. He then put his 
mouth over my breast and the material, sucking as much of my 
breast into his mouth as he could. The friction of the wet fabric on 
my sensitive tip made me moan loudly.

"Silky," he mumbled through the fabric. He continued to pluck 
each tip with his fingers as his lips lightly dragged along the skin 
of my belly stopping at my navel. He dipped his tongue into the 
tiny crevice and swirled it around. I'd just about rocketed off the 
bed. Thank God he was holding me down. I'd never known that 
was an erogenous zone for me. No one had ever found it before.

"Sweet," he said as he nipped around the tiny edge.

"Jesus, Mulder." I tried not to sound too wanton but I don't believe 
I succeeded in that venture.

He just looked up at me and grinned that cat-that-ate-the-canary 
smile. His mouth started moving down from my naval, his teeth 
lightly biting and grazing the tender skin. It was driving me 
absolutely insane with lust. Every pinch of his teeth was sending a 
flush through my entire body. I was so heated for him; I could 
hardly wait for him to just take me.

"Mulder, I need you," I whispered. He was hovering over the tiny 
cotton panties covering my sex.

"You have me, Scully," he said, kissing the triangle of fabric.

"No, inside me," I said with a groan.

"Not yet. Slow, Scully. I want you crazy for me. I want you to the 
point where you couldn't fathom this act again unless I'm a part of 
it. I want to make love to you like nobody ever has. I want to erase 
the memory of every other man that's ever touched you."

I sucked in a huge breath of air and tried to control the emotions 
spilling to the surface for this man. I whipped my tears away 
quickly then laid back and tried to take calming breaths as he 
kissed each ankle.

His tongue licked up the inside of my leg sending goose bumps 
everywhere. I felt cold and hot at the same time. God, what he did 
to me! He repeated the same action with the other leg. His hands 
reached under me to cup my ass. It seemed as though he knew 
everything to do to bring me to the edge but not push me over it. I 
wanted him to do something, anything, to speed up this wonderful 
torture. I wanted it to last forever.

His thumbs finally hooked into the sides of my panties. 'Oh God, 
please,' I thought.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Show me," she'd said. Oh, Scully, be careful what you ask for. 
She looked like Venus or Aphrodite laid out there; my own 
personal goddess.  She was so beautiful.

I reached back into my memory for every bit of information I'd 
stored over the years about how to excite a woman. I found the 
pressure points in her ankles, nipping gently and feeling my heart 
soar as she moaned and tipped her head back in pleasure.

How many times had I envisioned scenes just like this? "So 
beautiful," I murmured.

"You make me feel beautiful, Mulder."

"You are beautiful. I've never understood why you don't think so."

She chuckled but didn't respond.

I couldn't stand the undergarments anymore, as lovely as they 
were. After divesting her of her panties, I reached up and flicked 
the clasp on her front loader bra. The cups sprung open and her 
milky breasts spilled out. I gasped and reached for them with 
trembling fingers.

I kneaded gently and she hissed through her teeth.  Unable to resist 
the lure, I bent down and took one hardened nipple in my mouth, 
feeling it bead up harder against my tongue. My fingers found the 
other peak and scratched it lightly.

She moaned and pressed her breast into my mouth.  "Oh God!" she 
cried, arching up.

I decided I had to taste her and made a slow journey back down her 
stomach, placing kisses along that way. I reached the treasure 
between her legs and settled in, putting her legs over my shoulders. 
We'd been so hurried and frantic before; I hadn't gotten a chance to 
do this properly. I breathed gently on her glistening sex and she 
whimpered. The sound went straight to my cock.

I licked her thoroughly, exploring the dips and valleys of her labia 
and then stabbing my tongue inside. I inhaled the exotic fragrance 
of her juices and felt my cock twitch in response. My dick was hot 
and heavy, crushed between my stomach and the bedspread.  I 
teased her until her whimpers were strained and a bit shrill. I slid a 
finger inside and suckled on her bulging clitoris.

"Aaaawwww, Mmuullddeerr!" she groaned and I felt her walls 
contract on my finger. She pushed her hips into my face and I 
didn't mind at all, riding it out with her, licking her from stem to 
stern.

When she calmed, her eyes opened. They were hooded and she 
looked sated. "Get up here," she whispered.

"Not yet."

She whimpered again and I smiled. I knew once I was inside her, I 
wasn't going to last long, so I wanted to do all I could before I got 
to that point. I gently coaxed her over onto her stomach.

She hugged a pillow beneath her. I lowered myself to her; feeling 
my chest drag along the exposed, cool flesh of her back. One hand 
slipped beneath her to palm her plump breast. The other slipped 
down over her hip and slid down until I found her sex. I cupped 
her entire juncture in my hand and loved how wet it was. I began 
to gently caress her bundle of nerves with my fingertips.

My hips rocked involuntarily in response to my arousal and the 
feeling of her baby soft skin on my shaft. I burrowed gently 
between her legs and teased my shaft over the cleft of her lips, 
dragging it back and forth, intentionally bumping her clitoris from 
behind.

She moaned and I stretched, digging two fingers into her vagina as 
deep as I could go and flicking her clit with my thumb. I kissed the 
back of her neck and nipped at her shoulders, licking the salty 
sweat off her skin. In another thirty seconds or so, she was bucking 
her ass into my pelvis and coming all over my fingers again.

"Mmm, Mulder, please!" she begged.

"What? Please, what?" I whispered.

"I need, I need you inside me," she huffed out between labored 
breaths.

I sat back on my haunches and turned her onto her back again. She 
reached for me and I stopped her with a hand on her wrist. I moved 
her hands next to her head, pinning them there and lacing my 
fingers through hers. I leaned down to take my weight on my 
elbows, still on my knees.

Her legs rose up and wrapped around my hips. She used her heels 
on my ass, trying to pull me toward her.  "Relax," I whispered.

"Damn tease," she gritted out.

I chuckled then. I couldn't help it. "Look at me," I commanded.

Her eyes snapped up to mine. "I want you to keep your eyes open. 
I want you to see me, know it's me making love to you."

"I do know."

I shook my head. "Watch," I growled.

I poked at her entrance, seating myself. I stared at her, letting her 
see everything. How much I loved her, how much I needed her, 
and how much I respected her.  I felt energy flow out of me toward 
her and felt it hit me in return. "Jesus," I hissed and pushed 
forward.

"Oh God!" she cried out again. I looked down between us, 
watching her swollen nether lips whiten from the strain of 
engulfing my shaft. Then I was sliding deep. My cock was steely 
and her tunnel felt steaming hot.

"You ready to be loved?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Say it."

She hesitated but then whispered, "Please, love me, Mulder."

Not fuck me, love me. I groaned and thrust forward embedding 
myself deeply and knocking at the door to her womb. I looked 
down again. Below my flat, hard stomach, I could see my shaft 
buried inside the most beautiful woman I'd ever known.

She twisted and churned her hips against me, angling for 
maximum depth. I moaned feeling her muscles quiver around me 
in a snug embrace. I let my legs straighten out underneath me and 
felt myself sink incredibly, deeper, pressing against her cervix and 
stretching it. She held me in a delightfully constrictive embrace as 
I began to pump.  I kissed her slowly and deeply but then retreated 
to watch her face.

"Oh God, it feels so good, so different," she panted.

"Different how?" I asked, determined to get her talking about how 
she felt from now on.

"I don't know. It's a pleasure I've never felt, something to do with 
the size of you I'd imagine."

I chuckled again and kept my pace slow, wanting to draw this out 
as long as possible. Before long, I couldn't resist the urge and sped 
up. I hurled myself into her with banging thrusts that rocked her 
tiny body on the mattress.

She let out the cutest, little grunts each time we collided together. 
"Oh God, I can feel you, Scully.  Your growing tighter and 
tighter."

I bit my lip, hoping to hold on. I wanted to make her come again. 
Knowing how spectacular it had felt the other times, I wanted to 
feel it on my cock.

We stared into each other's eyes as we became one thrusting, 
groaning mass of pleasure. The sensations ripped through me in 
waves and I could see her struggling to keep her eyes open. Her 
breasts were crushed between us and I laid my mouth over hers to 
drown out the noise I knew was coming. She screamed into my 
mouth as she came, her eyes rolling back in her head.

I released her mouth and shouted as I felt my cock expand and then 
shoot a torrent of sperm deep inside her. I didn't go soft right away. 
I continued to pump her leisurely, enjoying the trembling quiver of 
her muscles on my shaft as we rode out the aftershocks together.

Finally, she hissed in discomfort and I stopped, pulling back gently 
until my spent equipment flopped out of her onto the bed. I kissed 
her again and then whispered, "I'm so in love with you, Scully. 
Promise you'll try to make this work."

She blinked away tears and cupped my face in her hands. "I 
promise. I love you too, Mulder, I really do."

I kissed her again, but felt sleep pulling at the edges of my mind. I 
was exhausted, physically and emotionally. "Need to sleep," I 
muttered.

She nodded. "Can you get to my room?"

"Why?" I asked.

"I have no wet spot."

I laughed out loud then and she laughed with me. We dragged 
ourselves up, cleaned up in the bathroom then made our way 
through the connecting door to her room.

We curled up under the covers and I spooned up behind her. "Love 
you, Scully."

"Love you too," she mumbled and was asleep like someone had 
flicked a switch.


XXXXXXXXXX 
CHAPTER 12 
XXXXXXXXXX

COOPER CREEK B&B 
KENT, CT 
MAY 30, 1997 
FRIDAY - 6:00 AM

We woke in the morning to the sound of something being 
crammed under the door. I sat up quickly and then steadied myself 
as I felt my head swirl with dizziness. I looked toward the door and 
there was a manila envelope on the floor. "Shit," I muttered, rolling 
out of bed.

I picked it up and opened it. It was the tox reports from the latest 
autopsy, along with the typed confessions of the two perpetrators 
they had in custody. I went to Scully's little desk and stuffed it in 
her briefcase. She rolled over and asked, "What time is it?"

"Early, it's only 6:00 AM."

"What's that?" she asked, waving toward her briefcase.

"Looks like the sheriff faxed over the confessions, and the lab 
faxed over the tox screen on Mark Johnson."

She groaned.

"We don't have to get up yet," I informed her.

She sat up. "Might as well. I won't go back to sleep now anyway. 
Besides, I'm hungry."

"Yeah, we need to keep your strength up."

She smirked. "Shower?"

"May I join you?"

"Of course."

We managed to shower without getting too out of hand, although 
some serious groping was involved. When we emerged, we 
decided to dress in casual clothes and go rummage in the kitchen 
for a snack. Breakfast wasn't until 7:00 AM and neither of us 
thought we could wait that long. Plus, we were scheduled to meet 
up with the Sheriff at the station to interview Bernie Schultz and 
Jennifer Schmidt the newest perp as soon as possible.

It would be amazing if we could have this case closed by the end 
of business today. Scully needed to mourn her friend before she 
went back to work. I wanted to have an entire weekend alone with 
her so that we could get used to the concept of being a couple. A 
couple. The thought of being attached to Scully for life just made 
me euphoric.

The place was quiet as a church as we made our way downstairs. I 
figured Alice must be up if she was the one that had stuffed the 
faxes under the door.

Scully went into the pantry off the kitchen and found some cereal 
and peaches. I found plenty of milk in the fridge and a couple of 
spoons. We settled down at the kitchen table and ate.

I heard an odd rattle, and looked over to the side of the sink. 
"Where does that go?" I asked, pointing at an old wooden door 
recessed into the wall between the industrial size double sink and 
the pantry door.

Scully shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe it goes out back."

I stood up and walked toward it.

"Mulder, what do you think you're doing?" she whispered fiercely.

I winked at her and turned to the door. It had one of those old cast 
iron latches that fell down into a grooved metal piece. There was 
no lock on the door.  I lifted the latch and tugged on the door. It 
swung open easily and I peered into utter darkness.

The pungent smell of dirt, herbs and spices wafted out from the 
dark. I felt around on the wall and found a light switch. Turning it 
on lit up a dim bulb that barely illuminated the stairs. I started 
down the steps.

"Mulder!" Scully hissed again, but I heard her get to her feet to 
follow me. "Mulder, we can't just go snooping around here!" she 
scolded.

I saw the vague outline of a switch on the wall near the bottom of 
the stairs and swiped my hand over it. I gasped at the sight that 
came into view.

It was a root cellar, a big one, with dirt floors.  It must have 
spanned the entire length of the B&B underground. There were 
waist high planters filled with various herbs that were being grown 
under artificial lights.

I walked down one aisle and felt my heartbeat accelerate. "Scully, 
look at this."

She came up behind me and I pointed to an open planter about five 
feet long. There were green plants with odd brown colored roots 
sticking out of the dirt. Scully broke off a small piece of one and 
sniffed. "Ginseng."

We looked at each other and both moved at the same time to look 
at each of the planters. It was like a green house down here only 
there was no sun. At the far end, I came to a wooden hutch. I 
opened the double doors and gazed at the shelves inside. There 
were rows of jars and baggies along with a mortar and pestle. I 
picked up some of the small jars and read the labels. Some were 
marked, 'yohimbine', others were like ampoules of insulin. They 
were marked 'luteinizing hormone'. There were several other 
common herbs there too.

I turned to stare at Scully, holding up a jar of yohimbine and an 
ampoule of the hormone. "Jackpot," I said.

Her eyes widened and her face paled. "No, it can't be.  Why would 
she do this?"

I didn't want to believe that sweet Alice meant any harm either, but 
the proof was hard to ignore. "I think the real question is, would 
each of our killers and victims have eaten at the B&B? The 
residents of the town would have no reason to eat at a bed and 
breakfast." The whole thing was confusing but it had to add up.

"Not exactly, Mulder. Alice mentioned to me that she not only had 
secret recipes but that her nephew owned the Fife & Drum 
restaurant. She said he has been using her recipes for years!" she 
exclaimed.

"Well, that is one of the hot spots in Kent. It would make sense 
that the victims and the killers had eaten there, and probably more 
than a once. Then again, this hasn't been happening for years."

"Maybe she gave him a new recipe recently," she reasoned.

Just then we heard footsteps on the stairs. We turned to see Alice 
watching us as she descended the stairs.  "What are you two 
youngin's doin' down here?" she asked calmly.

XXXXXXXXXX

"We should be asking you what it is you're doing down here, 
Alice." I couldn't believe that this sweet woman would 
intentionally concoct a product that reacted lethally on the 
population in the area.

"I don't understand your question, deary?" She looked from Mulder 
to me in a confused manner.

"Alice, what are you growing down here?" Mulder asked, even 
though he knew the answer to the question.

"Herbs. What does it look like I'm growing down here? I don't 
have no funny plants that the youngsters are growing in these parts, 
if that's what you're suggesting," she said clearly irritated.

"No, we didn't suggest that at all, Alice." I changed tactics to get 
her off the defense. "This is quite a setup you have here. What 
have you used these herbs for?" I asked in a non-threatening tone.

"I've used them in my recipes for years. Mostly in my homemade 
breads and rolls. Pretty much all things breaded. I also send over 
bushels to my nephew to use in some of the items on the menu at 
the Fife & Drum."

Mulder and I looked at each other in silent understanding.

She continued, "These fresh herbs and a dash of extract give 
everything that extra oomph food needs." When speaking of the 
oomph, she gestured the way you see Italians making a point, by 
tipping her hand up and pinching her fingers together.

"A dash of extract?" Mulder spoke up.

"Well yes, the cabinet that you're looking at now. There are all 
kinds of little extracts I add into the mixture. Just a couple drops 
though. Wouldn't want to put too much, it might make the bread a 
little doughy, you know?"

God, this was going to be so difficult. Unless this woman was an 
Oscar winning actress, she had no idea what she was doing.

"Why do you call them extracts, Alice?" Mulder asked.

"Well, my Ollie made them for me for years and years. He would 
just continue to make them and put them in that cabinet for me to 
use. He was raised in Africa when he was boy, you see, and was 
told by a tribe's medicine man, that the extract from the ginseng 
plants, roots and other trees, blessed anyone who consumed it."

Mulder and I nodded our heads in understanding. She looked off 
into the distance, almost as in a dream state and continued, "His 
Mama took to the tribe's ways. They were missionaries, and 
believed in the people and their culture. They showed his Mama 
how to cook with it, and told her that whoever ate from the earth in 
such a way, would be blessed with an uncontrolled love for their 
fellow tribesman." Alice smiled repeating the story her husband 
must have told her a thousand times before. "So, my Ollie taught 
me and I am in turn, teaching my nephew," she said with pride.

"Have you changed anything recently?" Mulder asked.

"Well, I did run out of the tree bark extract for a while after I used 
up what Ollie had made. I just went on without it until I finally 
found his receipts. I hadn't known where he purchased it. Once I 
did, I ordered some up."

"Alice, did your husband ever tell you of a side effect to these 
particular herbs and extracts?" I asked.

She grinned widely. "Well, I was told that the tribes people were 
very active in their love for one another." She winked at me. 
"Supposedly, all the women were pregnant most of the time Ollie's 
parents were there, so that's gotta tell you something." She sat 
down on a crate near the steps.

I blew out the breath I'd been holding. How the hell were we going 
to arrest this woman when she didn't know what she'd done? I took 
a deep breath. Mulder and I sat on a wooden bench near Alice. 
There was no easy way to put it, I had to just suck it up and tell the 
poor woman what she'd done.

"Alice, the herbs and chemicals you've been adding to your 
recipes, as well as the food at the Fife & Drum, have been reacting 
unfavorably on some of the people in the area," I said in one long 
breath.

"What do you mean, unfavorably, sugar?" she questioned 
sincerely.

"What Scully is trying to say, is that we think that the herbs you've 
added to the food here, and at the Fife & Drum, has contributed to 
the death of three people."

She gasped. Her hand came up to her heart and she looked 
confused.

"Alice, ginseng and the chemicals you've been adding to the food, 
are known to alter behavior and sex drive in humans. We have 
reason to believe that this additive has changed the behavior in 
people who would have otherwise not reacted violently," Mulder 
said as neutral and calm as I'd ever heard him. "We're investigating 
three deaths at this time."

"You're saying that my cooking may have killed three people!" 
Tears sprang to her eyes and she pulled a handkerchief from the 
sleeve of her robe to pat her eyes.

"Not exactly," I clarified for her. "We'd have to do some tests to be 
sure, but we think this mixture has altered the personalities in at 
least three people, leading them to react lethally towards the 
opposite sex."

Mulder added. "My theory is that while under the influence of the 
mixture, if the love is returned, all is well. Perhaps Ollie's 
tribesman had open relationships. Here though, if someone is 
shunned and unable to release the sexual tension these chemicals 
cause, it makes them angry; generating a lethal rage."

Tears fell from her eyes as she twisted the handkerchief with her 
knarled fingers. "Nothing like this happened when Ollie was 
making it."

"Could you have mixed up the proportions or something?" Mulder 
asked gently.

She nodded. "I guess anything is possible."  After a moment of 
silence, she sobbed, "You mean, that nice doctor was killed 
because of me?"

"We don't think it's your fault. She was most definitely killed by a 
madman but we don't know all the details yet. She was being 
stalked beforehand," I added. "We don't know about the other 
two."

I rushed over to Alice and pulled her into a hug. She held onto me 
as if I was the last soul on earth. She was distraught and at her old 
age, I was worried about her health.  Could she physically handle 
being involved in three murder cases?

I felt Mulder nudge my shoulder. "Scully, I think we're going to 
have to call Sheriff Hartley," he said sadly.

I nodded.

Alice pulled from my embrace. "No! I will get dressed and I will 
take myself to the Sheriff. If I had anything to do with what's 
happened to these poor innocent souls, I want to turn myself in." 
She stood and straightened her robe. She sniffed and wiped her 
eyes and nose of her tears. Maybe she would come out of this okay 
in the end. I could only hope.

"We'll drive you, Alice," Mulder suggested quickly. She nodded 
and turned to the stairs. This was going to be another long and 
tragic day for us, and the people of Kent. I hoped to hell and back 
that Bernie was responsible for Christina's murder. I couldn't wait 
to get home.

XXXXXXXXXX

KENT POLICE STATION
KENT, CT 
MAY 30, 1997 
FRIDAY - 8:00 AM

The car ride over to the station was somber. I looked back at Alice 
a few times through the mirror on the sun visor. She seemed utterly 
distraught over the situation, and with good reason. I was unsure of 
her fate. The odds were high that she would be charged with 
second-degree manslaughter.

However, because it was not her hand that killed these three 
people, nor was her contribution premeditated or intentional, she 
might get off with something as simple as a misdemeanor or 
community service. One could only hope.

Mulder parked right in front of the police station. He held Alice's 
arm as we climbed the stairs and entered the building. Mulder had 
called Sheriff Hartley while Alice changed and apprised him of 
events, as we knew them. He informed him that we'd be driving 
her in for questioning, she had insisted on turning herself in.

Bernie Schultz was already being questioned in New Milford about 
his whereabouts during the time that Christina was murdered. 
Jennifer Schmidt was being held at the same location, awaiting her 
arraignment.

As we approached the Sheriff's office, Alice sighed in defeat. 
Mulder knocked on the door to the small office and the Sheriff 
looked up as he opened the door. His face was etched with lines. 
He looked like he was suffering from lack of sleep, if the bags 
under his eyes were any indication. He stubbed out a thick brown 
cigar.

"Alice," he gestured towards a chair in front of his desk.  "Agents," 
he greeted us.

"We're going to go talk to Ms. Schmidt and Mr. Schultz," I said 
from the doorway.  "Update us when you have a chance."  He 
nodded and we exited the office to give them privacy.

I worried about what was going to happen to Alice after her 
questioning. Verification of the presence of her additives to the 
food in the blood systems of the killers would be easily acquired. 
She was such a sweet old women. She really had no idea that she 
was essentially creating a mind altering drug, if it could, 
technically even be considered a drug. I sighed at the absurdity of 
it all.

Mulder grabbed my forearm. "Scully, it will be okay. I have a 
feeling that Alice will make it though this without having to serve 
any time. They'll go easy on her."

I nodded and straightened my back, putting my professional armor 
firmly back into place. We exited the building and entered our 
rental. The drive to New Milford was a complete blur to me. I was 
demoralized by the events of this case. We came here to figure out 
what happened to Christina and another murder took place before 
we'd figured it out.  In the end, there wasn't even a real villain.


XXXXXXXXXX 
CHAPTER 13 
XXXXXXXXXX

NEW MILFORD POLICE DEPARTMENT
 ROUTE 202 
NEW MILFORD, CT 
MAY 30, 1997 
FRIDAY - 10:00 AM

After signing in, we were escorted to the small cells toward the 
back of the station. "Here's your gal," said the gruff police officer 
as he unlocked her cell.

Jennifer Schmidt looked up in horror. There were deep purple 
shadows under her eyes. Her already pale skin was ghost white. 
She sat on the small cot with her knees pulled into her chest. She 
was rocking herself back and forth in a self-comforting motion.

Mulder sat on the edge of the cot next to her while I leaned against 
the cold concrete walls. A chill ran through my body.

Unexpectedly, Jennifer looked over at Mulder and spoke. "I didn't 
mean to do it," she whispered.

"Kill Mark?" Mulder questioned.

She nodded her head as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Then why?" Mulder asked softly.

"I don't know. I loved Mark more than life itself. He was 
everything to me." Mulder nodded and waited. I could tell by the 
way Jennifer looked at Mulder so intensely that she trusted him. 
"Something came over me. We were having a wonderful day, 
hiked through the Falls like we always did. I'd planned a huge 
picnic, you know?"

Mulder and I both nodded.

"I was hoping that he would see me differently. As more than just 
his best friend."

"Go on," Mulder encouraged.

"After we picked our picnic site, we set out our blanket and I 
dished out the food."

"Did you make the lunch yourself?" Mulder asked.

Her eyes lit up just a glimmer. "Oh no, I can't cook very well. I 
ordered it from our favorite place and picked it up before I met him 
at his house."

"Your favorite place?" Mulder asked.

"The Fife & Drum. They have the best food and I knew Mark 
would love it."

Mulder looked over at me and I met his gaze.

I nodded my head answering the question he didn't have to 
verbalize.

"Then what happened, Jennifer?" he prompted.

"I reminded him of our anniversary that day and how I thought of 
him as more than a friend.  Then one thing led to another and we 
were, uh, you know, um, having sex. It was amazing."

We both looked at her in understanding but Mulder and I for 
different reasons. We knew how it felt to go from best friends to 
lovers so suddenly. It felt as though reality had slipped away and 
you were the only two people left on earth.

She stopped talking and put her head down on her knees.

"Its okay, Jennifer, you can tell us. We know it's difficult," Mulder 
said softly.

She lifted her head from her knees and daggers were in her eyes. 
"Then he told me that what happened between couldn't happen 
again. He actually told me that he was GAY!"

"Gay?" I gasped. She looked over at me.

"Exactly! You two seem close." She pointed between Mulder and 
I. "Probably been partners for a long time, right?"

We nodded not knowing where she was going with her 
questioning.

"How would you react if you were in love with him and after you 
make love, he tells you he's gay?" She got up from the cot and 
began to pace in small circles. "I fucking loved him and gave him 
everything I could. Now, I shouldn't have reacted the way that I 
did, but I was so angry. I went crazy. I couldn't see straight. I don't 
ever remember being that angry. I was humiliated, too. I felt so 
used. Like he was humoring me, like I was so bad, he had to say he 
was gay to make sure it wouldn't happen again."

"We understand, Jennifer."  He paused.  "Say, would you be 
willing to submit to a blood test?"

"Why?"

"We suspect there may have been some agents in your food that 
lowered your ability to control your emotions."

"What?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

"It might help your case. Will you let us do a blood test?"

"Sure, whatever."  She shrugged.

"Thank you for speaking with us," Mulder said as he stood.

'That's my cue,' I thought. I banged on the cell bars. "Officer," I 
yelled.

The same person that brought us back opened the cell door. I took 
one last look at the girl. She had taken up her position on the cot 
again, rocking back and forth. She was chanting in a small little 
voice, over and over again. "Why couldn't he just love me?  Why 
couldn't he just love me?"

"Officer, when will we be able to speak to Bernie Schultz?" I 
asked the man.

"I don't know. He's been in there for a long time. According to the 
officer in charge, they finally got him to admit killing a baby 
doctor here in town. It might be awhile," he said sadly.

My heart soared. He did kill Christina. Thanks to Mulder's 
investigative skills we'd gotten our man. I smiled so wide I thought 
my face would permanently stay that way. I looked at Mulder and 
his expression mimicked mine.

"Let's go get some lunch, Scully."

"Absolutely," I said, happier than I'd been in the past week, with 
the exception my time with Mulder.  Bernie Schultz's arrest didn't 
bring Christina back, but at least justice would be served this time. 
Whether Alice's concoction had contributed or not, Bernie was a 
stalker of the first degree. He was headed down that road for sure, 
with or without help.

XXXXXXXXXX

THE BISTRO CAFE 
31 BANK STREET 
NEW MILFORD, CT 
MAY 30, 1997 
FRIDAY - 12:00 PM

We ended up at the same little cafe as the night before.  Located 
right in downtown New Milford, it was a charming little place. It 
was constructed of bricks, and a dark chocolate trim around the 
windows and door. There were lovely lace curtains adorning each 
window. We chose a table in the corner. The place wasn't packed 
but had a steady stream of customers entering, ordering coffee to 
go, and exiting. There weren't many patrons who actually stayed 
and enjoyed the atmosphere, which suited us just fine.

"Looks like we got our man," Mulder said in a low voice.

"That we did. I can't wait to read his confession so that I can 
provide Brad with the closure he needs to move on with his life."

Mulder nodded and sipped his coffee. "I can't wait to go home." He 
looked at me and caught my attention. "I want to be alone with 
you." He winked and waited for my come back.

I gulped my own coffee and patted my lips with a napkin. This was 
so hard but I knew for Mulder's sake, and my own, I had to try to 
be different. I had to get used to the fact that I wasn't alone 
anymore.

"That would be nice." I figured that sounded promising.

He grinned. "I want to take you home, wine and dine you, and 
make love to you in every possible way imaginable."

That time I almost spit my coffee out. "Jeez, Mulder." My cheeks 
turned rose-colored as I envisioned exactly what we'd be doing in 
the comfort of our own homes. The possibilities were endless. "A 
little warning would have been nice."

He chuckled and shifted in his seat. I couldn't tell if he was doing it 
to make himself more comfortable, or because he was hiding 
something.

"Is this the kind of talk I have to look forward to from now on?" I 
teased.

His face went completely serious. He leaned over and tilted his 
chin for me to come closer. I leaned as close to him as my small 
stature would allow.

He whispered, "Scully, you have no idea the levels of pleasure you 
have to look forward to. This week was a beginning, if you will; a 
small taste. When I'm done proving my love for you, you might 
need a week's vacation to recover."

I opened my mouth in awe.

He grabbed my neck and laid one helluva a kiss on me.

I was stunned for a minute. After he was through with me, I could 
hardly breathe. He let me go and I plopped back into my chair, 
breathless. I wiped the moisture from my lips and looked around. 
The rest of the customers quickly looked away. We must have 
given them quite a show because their cheeks looked almost as 
crimson as I imagined mine were.

"Mulder, you don't have to prove your love to me. I know it. I feel 
it."

He smiled wide and waggled his eyebrows. "But isn't proving the 
truth extremely rewarding?"

I laughed and sipped my coffee. "That it is; that it is," I agreed.

"So tell me, Scully, what did you think of Jennifer?"

Our food came the moment he asked the question. I waited until 
the waitress set down our sandwiches and left.

"Actually, I got a strange feeling from that girl. I think she was 
regretful, however, the anger about what happened between her 
and Mark was still there just under the surface.  She wasn't like 
Graceson who was truly baffled and remorseful.  His anger was 
gone, hers wasn't."

Mulder nodded his head and took a huge bite of his food. At least 
now we didn't have to worry that our food had something strange 
in it.

"It was almost as if the girl had a split personality. It seemed as 
though the food wasn't the only thing that she had against her," I 
added.

Mulder smiled around a mouth full of sandwich and nodded his 
head. "It will be interesting to see what a psych panel on her will 
say." He wiped his mouth. "I wouldn't be surprised at all if she had 
her lawyer plead temporary insanity as her motive."

It was my turn to nod around a mouth full. "However, the way she 
killed him, said a lot about how much rage she had in her. For 
someone to actually slice off a vital organ and then slit that same 
person's throat goes a long way towards proving insanity. Any 
jury, if half of them are male, will definitely agree to the insanity 
theory."

"Rage doesn't equal insanity, though remember," he offered. "She 
definitely has some mental problems, maybe borderline 
personality, or schizo-affective disorder, I would guess, from our 
short conversation. That doesn't make her legally insane either. 
However, if she has a disorder, wasn't being treated, and was under 
the influence of the additives in the food, that might make a 
temporary insanity plea stick."

"I'm just wondering what's going to happen to Alice." I set down 
my food and laid my chin on my hand, elbow resting on the table. 
Not exactly lady-like, but it fit the mood.

"It's too early to say, Scully. We probably won't know until well 
after we've already left Connecticut.  I told the Sheriff to go easy 
on her and I think he will. He'll know there was no intent there."

We ate the rest of our meal in a comfortable silence. Both of our 
minds were going over the events of the case. At least we were 
both safe in the knowledge that all responsible parties were being 
questioned and held under policy custody, without the option of 
bail.

XXXXXXXXXX

NEW MILFORD POLICE STATION
ROUTE 202 
NEW MILFORD, CT 
MAY 30, 1997 
FRIDAY - 1:30 PM

We went back to the police station after lunch and found out that 
they were finally through booking and interviewing Bernie. We 
asked to see him and he agreed to talk to us.

I glanced at Scully as we went down the hall to the cells once 
again. This time, we stopped at the first one, two cells away from 
Jennifer. The cop opened the door and we went inside, sitting on 
the two folding chairs they'd provided for us.

"You feds?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm Fox Mulder. This is my partner, Dana Scully."

He nodded, his eyes floating up and down Scully's body. I saw her 
stiffen and I glared at him until he looked down. "Can you tell us 
what happened?"

He coughed and didn't bother to cover his mouth. I was glad we 
were sitting several feet away. His hair was receding on the sides 
at the top of his forehead, but the rest of the brown patch covered 
his pate.  His eyes were watery and his nose was red. I guessed he 
would be about five feet, ten inches tall if he stood up. He was in 
decent shape although not overly muscular.

"I loved her," he said.

"Did you know she had a boyfriend?" Scully asked.

He snorted. "That panty-waste? Yeah, I knew."

I looked over to see Scully's cheeks darken with anger. "Let's leave 
the insults behind, okay?" I suggested. "How long did you know 
Christina Fuller?"

"A couple of years. I worked at the hospital."

"We know that. We also know you'd been harassing her," Scully 
added.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Letters, phone calls, that sort of thing," I supplied.

"That wasn't harassing, that was wooing."

"You thought you were courting her?" I asked.

"Sure."

Scully nearly spit. "Once a woman says no, she means no, and that 
should be the end of it."

He eyed her with amusement. "Really?  How long did lover boy 
here take to get into your pants?"

I was out of my seat and had him by the shirt collar in seconds. I 
spun him and slammed him into the bars.  The cop peeked in but 
did nothing to interfere.  "Let's get one thing straight here, Bernie. 
You're the murderer. My partner and I are the FBI agents that put 
your sorry ass in this little jail cell. Now you either cooperate and 
tell us what we want to know, or I'm going to make your life 
fucking miserable. A lot more miserable than it already is. You 
speak to my partner with respect, or I'll make sure you go to the 
worst federal pen I can find."

I released his collar and he shrugged his shoulders and retreated 
back to his seat on the cot. "Now, let's try again.  Tell us what 
happened."

He licked his lips, but put up no further protest.  "I'd wanted her for 
a long time. I was getting tired of waiting. That day the staff 
ordered some sandwiches for lunch. They asked me if I wanted 
one, so I took one. It was free food and besides it was delicious. I 
saw the doc there and heard her say she was leaving for the day.

"I don't know what happened. It's not like I really planned it, but 
something inside me snapped. I had to have her. I left the hospital 
ahead of her and sped all the way back to Kent. I knew where she 
lived, so I parked on one of the side roads leading there, knowing 
she would pass me on the road. I got out to make sure she would 
recognize me.

"She did. She pulled over and asked if I needed a ride. I said yes, 
and when I got into her car, I pulled a knife and made her drive 
further down the road. There's a turn around there, less 
conspicuous.  That's where I'd left my car.

"She fought me and it pissed me off.  I was angrier than I'd ever 
been. I thought I just wanted to kiss her but it got out of hand. I 
ended up yanking her out of the car and putting her in the back 
seat." He paused and looked up at the ceiling.

"Then what?" I prompted.

His head came down and he looked right into my face.  "I had sex 
with her. I tore off her pantyhose and went to town."

"You raped her," Scully spat.

He looked at her again, but his gaze slid back to me.  "Then I 
panicked and put her in my car, drove to an even more remote spot 
on the road to the reservoir where there are no guard rails." He 
paused again and then said, "I pitched her down the embankment 
and ran."

The entire story had been told with no emotion and no visible signs 
of regret. I could feel the waves of anger and pain emanating from 
Scully. I reached out and put a hand on her forearm. I didn't want 
her to lose it here. He wasn't worth it.

She took a deep breath, but continued to be silent.

"You didn't go to work."

"I was afraid to leave the house. It hit me later what I'd done."

"Don't you think that made you look guilty?"

"I wasn't thinking about that."

"All right then. You wrote all this down for the cops upstairs?"

"Yeah."

"We're done here," I shouted, standing up and banging on the bars.

The cop appeared and unlocked the cell. As it clanged shut behind 
us, Scully turned and stared at him. "I hope you burn in hell."

XXXXXXXXXX

Mulder picked up a couple of copies of Bernie's confession and 
asked that we be kept apprised of the progress on the case. 
Assurance in hand, we went back to Kent and stopped at the police 
station.

We were relieved to find out that the Sheriff had called all three of 
the victim's families and explained the situation. None of them 
wanted to press charges against Alice. Since she couldn't go in the 
reports and go unpunished, the Sheriff had set up a hearing with 
the local district attorney.

"What will happen to her?" I asked.

Sheriff Hartley smiled. "She'll be okay.  We'll get her in front of 
Judge Mulharen and he'll give her community service or 
something. Attorney Weinstein lives here in town.  He said he'd 
represent her at the hearing for free. He's already postulating that 
her little potions wouldn't have affected these people adversely 
unless there was already something wrong with them to begin 
with. I'm sure the lawyers will all insist on psych exams anyway, 
before we're done."

"That's good to hear. We'd be glad to be character witnesses if she 
needs them," I informed him.

"I'll be sure to let her know that."

"Where is she?"

"Alice? I released her on her own recognizance. I don't think she's 
a flight risk," he deadpanned.

We chuckled and said our good byes. As we headed for the door he 
stopped us.  "Agents."

We turned and he said, "Thanks, by the way. It wasn't bad working 
with you after all."

"Same to you, Sheriff."

We left to go back to the B&B. We were met by Alice who 
showered us with hugs and thanks for 'putting in a good word for 
her'. She promised us she was throwing out all her yohimbine and 
other extracts. She would only use things she was sure were safe 
from now on. We assured her that her food would still be delicious.

We had some time to relax, so we went up to the room and 
watched some silly movie on TV, cuddled up on his bed. After an 
early dinner at the Fife & Drum, where we were assured none of 
the food was tainted, we decided it was time to go see Brad.


XXXXXXXXXX 
CHAPER 14 
XXXXXXXXXX

HOME OF BRAD CRANE &
CHRISTINA FULLER 
KENT, CT 
MAY 30, 1997 
FRIDAY - 5:30 PM

We knocked on the door, having waited until we knew he'd be 
home from work.  He opened the door and smiled at us. "Come 
in."

"I guess you've heard," Scully said.

He waved at the TV that he had turned down low.  "Yeah, it's all 
over the local news. I'm relieved."

"We wanted to make sure you knew and to answer any questions 
you might have."

"Will he fry?"

Scully gave him a sad smile. "Probably not.  Connecticut has the 
death penalty, but they don't use it much."

"Yeah," he said sadly.

I said, "I think we can safely say that he'll be behind bars for a long 
time. With or without the tainted food, this guy was stalking her. 
We've given our statements to the police and I'm sure they'll want 
yours. We all might be asked by lawyers to give depositions. At 
this point, he's not remorseful. I don't think they will be as lenient 
with him as the others. He already had a pattern of stalking."

Brad nodded. "I'll be following the case for sure, believe me. They 
called to release her body to me," he whispered. "Her parents came 
out from San Diego.  They didn't want to stay here. They're at the 
Heritage Inn."

"When's the funeral?"

"The wake is tonight, family only.  The funeral is tomorrow 
morning.  That's for everyone."

Scully looked at me, and I said, "I can move our flights to a later 
time."

She nodded. "I want to go."

I squeezed her hand. "Of course."

"Well, sit down you two. Sorry, I'm not much of a host these days. 
Can I get you some coffee? I just made a fresh pot."

"Sure," we said in tandem.

He smiled and left to get it for us.

We spent an hour there talking about everything and anything. 
Brad and Scully exchanged stories about Christina and made each 
other laugh. I think it was cathartic for both of them. "I'll miss her," 
Scully said, her voice strained.

Brad nodded. "We all will. I have to get ready to go to the wake."

"Take care. We'll see you at the funeral tomorrow morning."

"It's at the St. Andrews Church, right in the center of town. You 
can't miss it."

"Did you want to go to the wake, Scully?" I asked.

She hesitated but then said, "No, let Brad have time with the 
family."

"You are family," Brad said.

She smiled and stood up to kiss him on the cheek.  "We'll see you 
in the morning."

He nodded, and we left, making our way back to the B&B. I was 
tired and glad we were staying one more night.

XXXXXXXXXX

COOPER CREEK B&B 
KENT, CT 
MAY 30, 1997 
FRIDAY - 6:30 PM

Once back at the B&B, I called the airport and made reservations 
for a 3:00 PM flight out of Bradley. It would take us at least an 
hour to get to the airport from here and I wanted to leave some 
extra time so we didn't have to rush.

We packed up everything except what we would need in the 
morning and climbed naked into bed. Without a word she turned to 
me and pulled me on top of her, her mouth meeting mine.

I kissed her tenderly. Her hands came up to cup my face.  She let 
her fingers trail over my eyebrows, my nose and cheeks and her 
thumb brushed my lips. "I don't know what I would do if I lost 
you," she whispered.

She was thinking of Brad's loss. It was the fear we all had, losing 
the thing that was most precious to us. "Me neither," I agreed. "I 
don't even want to think about it."

I kissed her again and she eagerly accepted me. Her legs wound 
around my waist and urged me closer. I moaned at the feeling of 
her skin against mine. I reached down to play in the folds of her 
sex until she was wet and ready for me. I decided suckling her 
breasts while I was at it, wasn't a bad idea either.

She gasped and said, "I'm ready."

I braced myself and stared down into her eyes as my shaft pushed 
gently inside her, just a couple of inches. She moaned as I slowly 
proceeded to impale her fully. Her hands gripped my biceps firmly 
and she began squirming and rolling her bottom against the sheets. 
"Eager?" I teased.

"Shut up and make love to me, Mulder."

"Yes, ma'am," I said through my grin. I began to thrust and throaty, 
unintelligible sounds came out of her mouth. I kept pistoning in 
and out of her until I was plunging into her with a strong rhythm 
and she was meeting me stroke for stroke.

"Oh God, it's never been like this before, Mulder."

I tried to keep my pace slow but it was no use. I felt tingling and 
pressure in my groin. I knew I was ramping up to my climax. "I 
love you, Scully, so much," I whispered and kissed her again.

I began swiveling my hips, making my cock move around inside 
her core and the new movement seemed to hit something sensitive 
inside her. A few strokes later she was moaning and arching her 
back off the bed.  "Oh God! Yes!" she cried out.

I continued pushing my entire length in and out of her. I wasn't far 
behind. The sensation of her muscular walls fluttering over me was 
too much. I groaned and buried my head in the crook between her 
neck and shoulder. "I love you, love you, love you," I chanted as I 
released myself deep inside her.

We stayed that way, locked together for a minute or so. I carefully 
rolled to the side and moaned with displeasure as I emerged from 
her warm cavern.

She got up and returned with a wet washcloth.  After cleaning up, 
we curled up together again. I couldn't remember ever being this 
content. "Do you want to talk?" I asked.

"Not now. I'm sleepy. Let's get some rest. We'll talk after the 
funeral, on the way home, okay?"

I nodded and kissed the top of her head where it lay on my 
shoulder. "Sleep, baby. I've got your back."

I felt her lips smile against my chest. "Love you," she whispered.

"Love you, too," I mumbled, feeling sleep tug at me as well. That 
was the last thing I remembered before Scully's travel alarm woke 
us up the next morning.

XXXXXXXXXX

ST. ANDREW'S EPISCOPAL CHURCH
1 NORTH MAIN STREET
KENT, CT 
MAY 31, 1997 
SATURDAY - 10:00 AM

Reverend Roger Whittaker presided over the ceremony.  It was a 
touching service. He'd obviously known Christina personally. 
When it came time for people to say eulogies, we were surprised to 
see striking woman in her early thirties advance to the microphone 
instead of Brad.

"Hello everyone.  My name is Maggie.  I am a nurse at New 
Milford Hospital and Christina was my best friend."

I figured this must be the Maggie O'Connor that had sent Scully 
one of the original faxes about the death of Christina.

I focused on her as she continued. "It's an honor for me to stand 
before you today to celebrate the life of Christina Fuller. She was a 
daughter, friend, fiance, and godmother. There are probably those 
more qualified to be here talking about Christina, others who knew 
her before I was born. Nevertheless, I'd like to share my thoughts 
and feelings on Christina's life with you."

"It seems we were meant to share part of our lives together. We 
have shared many adventures and many confidences in the years 
that followed our meeting, just after she moved here to Kent. 
When I was asked to do a eulogy, my first thought was, 'What can 
I say that won't sound trite or superficial? There really are no 
words to express the love one has for a daughter, best friend, 
fiance, and a godmother. She dedicated her life to helping others 
and every soul that touched hers walked away better for it. There 
are no words, but there are memories to keep us company in the 
days ahead."

"Christina took pride in her heritage. She was Irish to the bone!" A 
few giggles were heard at that comment. Scully had never 
mentioned that she was Irish. It was one more connection they had 
shared.  "When I think of Christina, I think of her baked beans, her 
doing the Irish jig in the hospital cafeteria, and the only woman I 
ever knew who actually said, 'Just a wee bit.'"

There were more snickers.  She continued.  "Her joy for life and 
her love for her friends was expressed in so many ways, they're too 
numerous to list. None of us will forget her parties though, her 
hospitality, or the gentle touch of her hands on our sick children. 
She was there through countless picnics and charity events, lending 
a hand wherever it was needed."

"She was a secretary for the Lions Club and the town's volunteer 
fire department. She never hesitated to pitch in and give all she 
had to give. Her favorite question was, 'What should I bring?' And 
our favorite response was always, 'Bring your baked beans!'"

"She showed her joy of life in her enthusiastic holiday decoration. 
Who could decorate like Christina? Be it Easter, Thanksgiving or 
Christmas, no one missed the pilgrimage to the Fuller/Crane house 
to see the spectacular decorations, telling the world that, 'Here, 
here we celebrate."

She removed a tissue from her pocket and dabbed her eyes. I heard 
Scully blowing her nose beside me but tactfully did not stare at 
her. I put my arm over her shoulders and hugged her instead.

"For many, Christina was a pediatrician, one that was trusted and 
liked. For whom could you trust more?  Where could your child be 
more safe, be more loved, than with Christina? She drove two 
hours to be at my graduation from nursing school. My thanks 
brought only a wave, a shrug and an, 'Oh Gosh, Maggie. Wouldn't 
miss it, wouldn't miss it.'

"When someone is taken too soon, too young, the first thing we 
ask is, 'Why?' It seems so unfair. Life gets so complicated, but our 
children still see the world with child-like simplicity and faith. 
When my husband, Joe, asked that very question in my kitchen, 
my son, who is 7 years old said, 'I think God needed more angels, 
so Christina went to live in God's house and be an angel for God."

This elicited more than a few sniffles. Even my eyes got teary. 
Scully was openly weeping now and holding a tissue to her eyes.

"I believe God needed more angels. Angels of mercy. And why 
wouldn't he want Christina, the wild Irish rose? She was surely 
OUR angel. She cared for all of us at some point, even at expense 
to herself.  Loyal, generous, hard working, and compassionate -- 
these are the words that come to mind when I think of Christina. 
What better qualities for an angel?"

"We will miss her, and there is a hole in our lives now. How do 
you replace someone like Christina? You can't," she said with 
finality. "However, we can honor her. I don't wish to dwell on the 
hard times or her death. I wish to honor her by remembering the 
good times and the laughter. She will live in our hearts, for the 
love she gave away cannot be erased and it stays in the heart 
forever. She is in a place of peace and serenity now."

"She has her new wings. She's probably sewed shamrocks on them, 
but I'm sure she has wings."

There was actually a smattering of applause at the end of her 
speech. I was touched and I hadn't even known her. A man stood 
up and walked to the podium. "I'm Ryan, Christina's brother, for 
those that may not know. I would like to read a poem by A.L. 
Frink," he began. "It's called, 'The Rose Beyond the Wall'."

**Near shady wall a rose once grew, Budded and blossomed in 
God's free light, Watered and fed by morning dew, Shedding its 
sweetness day and night.

As it grew and blossomed fair and tall, Slowing rising to loftier 
height, It came to a crevice in the wall Through which there shone 
a beam of light.

Onward it crept with added strength With never a thought of fear 
or pride, It followed the light through the crevice's length And 
unfolded itself on the other side.

The light, the dew, the broadening view Were found the same as 
they were before, And it lost itself in beauties new, Breathing its 
fragrance more and more.

Shall claim of death cause us to grieve And make our courage faint 
and fall? Nay! Let us faith and hope receive - The rose still grows 
beyond the wall,

Scattering fragrance far and wide Just as it did in days of yore, Just 
as it did on the other side, Just as it will forevermore.**

The ceremony concluded with some scripture and we joined the 
procession to the cemetery where the reverend read the 23rd Psalm 
and invited everyone back to Brad's for refreshments.

We said our good-byes at the cemetery and headed for the airport. 
Scully was quiet and I didn't push her to make conversation. She 
needed her time to grieve.  The investigation had put grieving on 
hold. She would talk when she was ready.

I found an oldies station and turned it low. I listened to the music 
and concentrated on the road for the rest of the trip to Hartford.

XXXXXXXXXX

UNITED FLIGHT 451 
SOMEWHERE OVER THE EAST COAST
MAY 31, 1997 
SATURDAY - 3:30 PM

The silence was finally broken after we settled into the plane and 
had taken off.

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently, pulling it into my 
lap.  "I'm here when you want to talk," I said softly.

She turned to me and flashed a sad smile.  "I know, Mulder. God, 
life is so fragile sometimes. I always forget that, even doing what
I do. Somehow, we never think it's going to happen to us, do we?"

"I guess not. I'm more aware of my mortality than when I was 
young, but it still doesn't stop me, so I guess I still don't really 
believe I could die suddenly."

"Every time I lose someone, I remember how precious life is, how 
important it is to not leave things undone. It shouldn't take that 
to wake me up, but it does."

"I think that's human nature, Scully. None of us likes to think 
about dying, or losing anyone. I love you. You know that now. I 
don't ever want to think about losing you. I know I'd go mad."

She squeezed my hand in reply and laced our fingers together, 
setting them on the armrest between us.  "I've been thinking, and 
not just this morning."

"Uh oh," I teased.

She chuckled. "This thing is so new between us."

"Yes, but I think it's a good thing, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. I was worrying so much about what I was going to do 
once we got back."

"In what way? Juggling the relationship with work?"

"Yeah, and telling my family, and all sorts of things."

"Come to any conclusions?" I asked.

She leaned over to me and kissed me on the nose.

I smiled at her, waiting to see what she would say.  She was rarely 
this forthcoming without prompting.

"Yes, I've decided that I'm going to make a concerted effort not be 
such a worry-wart, and not to be such a tight-ass."

I couldn't stop the bark of laughter that shot out of me. I looked 
around but it didn't seem that I had disturbed anyone. She was 
grinning when I looked back at her. "Is that so?" I asked, trying to 
keep a straight face.

She smiled. "I realized I don't enjoy my life enough.  Being with 
you has brought that into stark focus. We could both use more fun 
in our lives."

"You'll get no argument from me," I said.

"We still have to work together," she added.

"Yes, but I think we can handle it. We're professionals, Scully. We 
worked all right on this case and it was full of personal stuff, 
your friend, and our new relationship. We still solved the case.  
We got the bad guy. We're going home."

"You don't think this will interfere?"

"Will you stop questioning my theories with science?"

"No," she said emphatically.

"Will you stop covering my back?"

"No!" she said, almost indignant now.

"Will you stop being there when I need you?"

"No."

"Will you have hot monkey sex on the desk with me in the 
basement?"

She laughed this time. "No!"

"Damn," I said, snapping my fingers.

"What's the point, Mulder?"

"The point is that we are still the same two people, Scully. We're 
still the same agents. Loving you isn't going to change that. I'm 
not going to stop investigating the paranormal. You're not going 
to stop being a scientist. In fact, I think it will remove a lot 
of tension that we've had to deal with up until now. Or at least, 
I have."

"What kind of tension?"

I looked into her eyes. "I've worried about losing you.  I've been 
jealous every time some lecherous cop checked out your ass."

She was shaking her head in exasperation now.  "Mulder," she 
scolded, her cheeks turning pink.

"What?" I asked, blinking innocently.

"Don't give me that look!" After pausing, she asked, "Were you 
really jealous?"

"Constantly. Now though, you're mine, baby," I declared, and 
leaned over to kiss her.

She kissed me back and I tried to keep it less than obscene. We 
were on a public plane after all. "We can do this," she said.

"Yes, we can. As long as we're together, Scully, we can do this. 
We can do anything."

THE END.

AUTHORS NOTES

Donnilee:

Cybill: Wow. This was quite an experience. Donni girl, you are 
amazing. Believe it everybody, this girl writes FAST! Donni, you 
are truly a gifted writer. I appreciate you for enduring my 
insecurities, issues with "raunchy" terms, <for lack of a better 
word> and for rooting me on when I really didn't feel as though I 
was good enough. The experience was well worth the journey my 
friend. Thank you.

Donnilee:  She's too modest for her own good.  This entire story 
and plot line was her idea and she had the whole thing mapped out 
and outlined before I ever put a word on paper.  So don't let her 
fool you.  I keep telling people the fast writing is an illusion, but 
alas, no one will believe me.  ~sigh~  This was a bucket of fun 
from start to finish.   Thanks for giving me a chance to partner with 
you.  No, no, thank YOU.