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Once again, I am not the author so direct all resposes to the email 
address mentioned below. And enjoy!
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..so wear your ego to the funeral
of a frightened friend
I'm so low that I wish I was dead
with a knife in my chest
and a bullit through my head
I'm so low that I wish I was dead
must I go on?

(don't know who wrote it but some idiot like
   me digs it.)

---------- Forwarded message ----------
			      ***********
Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction story and I feel like I am 
following in the footsteps of some wonderfully inspiring writers such
as Paula Graves.

  This story is a romance fanfic so if that's not your deal then I 
suggest you run like then wind, if you're still here then I hope you
like it. 

   This isn't an actual X-File, it's just some romance I thought I would 
write. In real life I am avidly against our heros getting together (
except maybe in the FINAL episode) but for this world I think they're
made for one another.
 
RATING: NC-17 Not TOO graphic sex, but loving romance and loving sex.

Disclamer: I own no-one. Thank you to the Indigo Girls who don't know
I borrowed their beautiful song. Thanks to Chris Carter, as well.

  Hope you enjoy it. Any comments please mail to beadlek1@lasalle.edu

			   ****************

...rosemary is for remembrance...
   by: Kelly Beadle

9:30 pm
Washington, DC

   He'd seen too much and he couldn't handle being alone, but there he 
was, alone as always in the darkness of his apartment. He sat on the 
couch and stared into the stillness of the room. On the table before him 
was an unopened bottle of Scotch, his badge and his gun. He sat still 
with his back straight, his eyes unblinking and unfocused wishing he had 
the strength to pick up either the bottle or the gun.

   Outside of the apartment the first hurricane of the season slammed into
the east coast. The wind ripped at the apartment windows, the rain poured 
down flooding the streets with cold, angry water. Inside the apartment 
the only thing he could hear was the storm beating against his walls and 
the sound of his own breaking heart. He closed his eyes.

   There was only so much he could go through, so much the hidden powers
of the government could do to him before he would break like a willow 
caught in a vicious summer squawl. Someone he never knew took away  
his childhood with one well thought out action; he had denied himself a 
present because of his search for the truth; and ultimately, he supposed, 
he was robbing himself of a future because he couldn't stand the aloneness 
of this moment, the not knowing, the longing to find Samantha and with 
that the forgiveness of his now dead father. Deep down he wanted someone 
to take away all his pain, all the emptiness; but since there was no-one 
who could do that, no-one he would allow, he sat alone. He had adopted 
his self destructive streak long ago hoping to avoid this night, thinking 
it would only be a matter of time before he drew that one assignment, that 
final assignment, which would end all of this: his pain, his nightmares, 
his life. 
   
   "Mulder, how long are you going to sit here in the dark?" Scully
asked from the doorway. 

   He looked up briefly before returning his gaze to the nothingness of 
the room in front of him. Scully leaned against the door jam and sighed. 
She knew he wouldn't hear her come in, not if he was in one of his moods, 
and from the sight of him, a beaten and battered silouette on the couch, 
she could tell he was. It broke her heart to have to stand there and stare 
at him through the darkness silently wishing his misery away.

   Recently they had seemed to developed a hands off policy and it had come 
around as slowly as their hands on policy had developed. He had been 
pulling away lately and she could see it everyday in the lines of his face, 
the pain of being alone in the battle against the powers-that-be. Even she 
hadn't been as supportive as she could be lately, especially after the 
case with quiet, tortured Lucy, who drowned in a river she never saw so a 
child she never knew could survive and overcome what she, herself, 
and never been able to.

   Slowly Scully slipped out of her coat and put it on the chair by the 
door. She stood still again digging her hands into the pockets of her 
jeans waiting to see if he would speak. He was silent and as her eyes
adjusted to the dimmness of the room she could make out the bottle, the
badge and the Smith and Wesson on the coffee table that stood between her 
and her partner. 

   She closed her eyes briefly and sighed again, this time feeling pain 
creep into her chest. He only drank on those rare occasions when he simply 
had no other options left. She knew it was only human nature to turn to 
something ,albeit liquor, food or whatever, in an effort to stave off the 
pains of life. His tendency to occasionally seek an anstethetic for his  
relentless pain didn't scare her; however,  the sight of the gun on the 
table alongside the Scotch did.

   Quietly Scully crossed the room pausing briefly alongside the
table in order to bend down and pick up his gun. He didn't move as she
removed it and walked into the kitchen where she dropped it into the 
drawer he kept all his junk in, the drawer alongside the sink he didn't 
think she knew about. She turned and walked back into the living room after 
taking two milk glasses out of the cabinet alongside the refridgerator. 
Scully knew Mulder's kitchen as well as she knew her own and she wondered 
if he realized that, she wondered if he realized just how well she knew him. 

   Sitting down on the couch alongside of Mulder she set down the two
glasses and reached for the unopened bottle of Scotch. As she wrapped her 
pale fingers around the neck of the bottle Mulder's left hand reached out 
and covered it.

   "What are you doing?" he asked in a quiet, tired voice.

   "Pouring us a drink." she stated flatly gently pulling away from his 
grasp. She cracked open the seal and unscrewed the cap, breaking the 
mussoleum silence of the apartment. Placing the bottle between her knees she 
reached for the milk glasses. She poured two generous portions of Scotch 
into the milk glasses and put them back on the table. One in front 
of her and one in front of Mulder. She recapped the bottle and placed it on 
the floor alongside of the couch and sat back staring at him.

   "Scotch isn't your drink," he said in the same tired tone.
   "Oh, what is my drink, Mulder?"
   "Red wine."
   "You've been paying attention." she said leaning forward and picking up 
the glass between her thumb and forefinger. She settled back on the
couch and balanced the glass on her knees as she pulled her legs up 
against her chest, making her look younger than she already was. 

   Too young in fact, he often thought on the nights sleep never came to 
relieve him, too young to have eyes that wise and nightmares that 
vivid.

   "Go home, Scully, I'll see you at work tomorrow." Mulder said his voice
taking on an almost automated quality.

   "There is no work for you tomorrow, Mulder, just sleep." Scully said
simply. He watched him as she tipped the warm Scotch into her mouth. It
burned like mercury sliding down her throat. She grimaced then relaxed
as she felt the liquid warm her storm chilled belly.

   "No work, Scully? There's always work to do; lies to support, lives 
to ruin or worse leave ruined. I'll work tomorrow and I'll sleep in 
hell." Mulder answered in low tones. Scully looked at him and 
finished the rest of her Scotch and set the empty glass on the table.

   "I'm already one ahead of you, Mulder, I suggest you catch up before
I finish that bottle all by myself."

   "Go away,Scully."
   "No."
   "Scully,"
   "Damnit, Mulder," she snapped quietly, "don't do this to me, don't 
lock me out of your life like this."

   Mulder looked at her with heavy, red rimmed eyes and asked in a gentle
and sincere voice, "What life, Scully?"

   Scully lowered her knees and shifted herself around so she was facing 
him, sitting with her feet tucked beneath of her, adding slightly to her 
height. He only looked at her briefly and then returned his gaze into
the dark leaving her staring at the side of his face. She shook her head
and reached out to gently touch his shoulder whispering, "This life, 
Mulder."

   "I have no life here, Scully. I'm a lonely man, who comes home to
an empty apartment every night. My obsessions lead me to dead ends
and my partner and only friend into danger."

   "You're not alone, Mulder."
   "Of course not, Scully, we almost forgot about my vast collection of 
woman hiding on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in my bedroom."
   "At least you finally moved them from the bookcase in here."

   Her humor felt flat, even to her, and she sighed and reached for the 
bottle, again pouring another generous amount of Scotch into the milk 
glass.

   "Why are you here, Scully?"
   "To save you from yourself,"
   "Isn't that just a little bit cliche, even for you?"
   "Mulder, what do you want from me?"
   "To go home and stop drinking my liquor."
   "I'll gladly buy you another bottle, Mulder, but I'm not leaving."

   He turned and stared at her hard and she remained unflinching,
once again balancing the glass she was holding on her knee. He looked 
at her, her fiery red hair, fierce aquatic blue eyes and just shook 
his head. She had eyes he could get lost in, drown in, eyes that reminded 
him of the skies before a summer thunder storm. Eyes filled with every 
emotion he couldn't express. All he knew how to express anymore was sarcasm,
rage and exhaustion. He didn't know how he forgot all the emotions in 
between. 

   He turned away when he realized he was staring. He reached for the milk 
glass on the table.

   "What?" she asked as he lifted the glass of Scotch to his lips and
knocked it back without flinching. He replaced the glass on the table
and leaned back on the couch letting the warmth spread across his body.

   "Why won't you go home, Scully?" he asked in a distant voice.

   "You know, Mulder, I'm beginning to feel unwanted. I drove all the way 
over here, through a hurricane for God's sake, and all you want me to do 
is get the hell out."

   "Why?" he repeated his question looking at her. Her eyes were emotional 
whirl pools he instantly fond himself sinking into.

   "Because I don't want to go home, Mulder."
   "Nothing'll happen if you leave."
   "Doesn't matter, Mulder, I doubt anything would have happened if I 
didn't come over."
   "What makes you so sure?" he asked simply. 
   She looked at him and met his eyes kindly, "Because you wouldn't do that 
to me."

   Mulder looked at her defeated. He stretched his legs out and propped 
them on the table. It was over. She had shown up on his doorstep, walked 
into his apartment, dismantled the bomb ticking softly in his chest, and 
now all he was left with was a bottle of Scotch and his beautiful partner 
by his side. 

   Scully leaned forward and poured him some more Scotch. Then she put 
the bottle back on the floor she leaned back and handed him the glass
smiling. He took it from her hand, careful not to touch her fingers as
he did so, and set the glass against his chest. She watched him with a
mild smile and after a second she put her glass in the air between them,
bridging the chasm, which they had dug together in acts of self 
preservation, with one motion.

   He looked at her through half closed eyes, his face voiced the question
his silence supported.

   "To us, Mulder,"
   He breathed a short laugh as he lifted his glass to meet hers.
   "To us, Scully,"
 
   They watched one another as they clinked their glasses and swallowed 
their liquor. Mulder reached for her empty glass and set it on the floor 
alongside his own and let them fall into silence.

				***

   "So, where'd you put my gun, Scully?"
   "In your junk drawer in the kitchen."

   Mulder looked down at her with a furrowed brow. She was laying on the 
floor with her head on her hands. He was stretched face down across the 
couch and she was spread out on the floor alongside of him. 

   "How do you know about my junk drawer, Scully?"
   "I'm with the FBI, Mulder, it's my job to know these things."
   "So, what else do you know, Agent Scully?"
   "Uh-uh, I will never reveal the fruits of my careful government 
investigations, Mulder." she replied turning over on her back and staring 
at the ceiling. They fell into a friendly silence again.

				***

   "Now what happens?" he asked listening to the sounds of the stereo and 
the cold summer rain beating against his window. Scully shrugged 
looking up at him from the floor. His eyes were clearer than they had 
been when she first walked into his apartment earlier in the evening. His 
face didn't look as pained, but she knew her presence did very little to 
asuage the war which raged within his heart, mind and soul. When she first
walked into his office, how ever many years ago it had been now, she never
thought this would have happened, she never would have thought this was 
the responsibility she was taking on. She never thought they would wind up
feeling so responsible for one another. 

   "I don't know."

   Scully yawned and stretched her back out against the hardness of the 
floor. She heard muscles and tendens creek and crack in the quiet of the 
apartment.

   "Getting old there, Scully?"
   "Well, I personally hold you responsible for any premature grey I may
find in my hair."
   "Me, Scully?"
   "You, Mulder."

				***

   She heard his watch chime midnight. She wasn't sure how long she had 
been asleep on the floor but she could feel him sitting alongside of her
stroking her hair gently.

   "It's getting late, Scully."
   "I know," she said, her voice scratchy with sleep. She yawned and kept 
her eyes closed. 

   "I don't think I'm going into work tomorrow." Mulder said quietly as he
ran his fingers through her hair enjoying the feel of her red locks 
against his long fingers.

   "Probably a good idea, I'll get more done with you home, anyhow, less 
of a distraction." she added absently. She rolled over onto her side and 
moved closer to Mulder's warmth.

   "I'm a distraction, Scully? I'm insulted."

   "So much for your undying quest for the truth," she said feeling him 
spread a warm afgan over her tired body. She didn't move as she felt him
stretch out alongside of her under the afgan. She could feel his warm 
breath against her forehead as he continued to stroke her hair.

				***

   "I should go, it's late." she said quietly, she could feel herself
slipping slowly back into sleep.
   "Of course you should go," Mulder said quietly. She didn't move and 
neither did he.

				***

   His watch chimed again and this time she woke up in his arms. He was 
on his back with his head against a pillow, his mouth opened slightly.
She found herself leaning her head on his outstretched arm, her own arm
draped carefully over his rising and falling chest. His other hand gently 
held her own. She looked at him without the slightest trepidation. Nothing
had happened, he was a gentleman who hadn't even gone so far as to take 
off her shoes. It was only a matter of time before they wound up there, 
together, arm in arm as if they had been long time lovers fearless in the
safety of his apartment in Alexandria.

   She had stopped deceiving herself long ago, stopped living in fear of 
the enevitable. Two people who worked so closely together, lived so 
close,  breathed the same air, thought the same thoughts, would eventually  
come to this. She had been in no hurry, though. No. No hurry at all. Her 
mother had taught her patience as a child, patience which she had been 
drawing on like a saving well since she had met Mulder, since their first 
case together, their first stake out, their first cup of coffee shared as 
friends. They had become confessors and eventually confessors often found 
themselves in places like these.

   She closed her eyes but didn't fall asleep, she simply moved closer to 
him and resting her head in the crook of his arm wondering what he was
dreaming.

				***


   "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are, Scully?"
   "No, Mulder."
   "You are honestly the most beautiful woman I've ever met."

   She opened her eyes and saw him looking at her. During the night they 
had again changed positions and this time she was on her back and he was 
alongside of her, his head propped up on his hand, and his other hand
resting gently on her stomach.

   "What time is it?"
   "Dunno."
   "How long have you been staring at me?"
   "A while,"
   "Oh,"

   She turned her head and looked out the window. It was still raining. 
She slowly turned back and looked at Mulder who was still looking down
at her.

   "You're the only person in the world I trust, Scully."
   "You better, Mulder, we're all we've got."
   "Who would have thought it?"

   "Not me, Mulder, not me." she said lifting her hand and touching his 
cheek. She gently began to trace his jaw line, running her pale fingers 
along the curves of his face, his chin, and up to his ears. His mussed 
hair gave his face a young boyish look, the brown of his hair bringing 
out the gentle earth tones of his wide bright eyes. She opened up her
hand and touched the side of his face with her palm feeling the bristles 
of his beard against her hand. He was warm and she could feel him 
trembling slightly against her touch. 

   Without removing her hand she turned onto her side and faced him in 
the gentle light of the dark room. They were silent. She met his soft
gaze, sinking into the misty light of his eyes, seeing her own reflection
in his face. They were calm. She continued to touch his face, she traced
his eye brows with her thumb, moving slowly to his eye lids which fell 
closed gently. She ran her thumb across his cheek bone and then down the
plane of his face finally resting on his lips. He instinctively wet his 
lips as she traced the lines of his mouth. 

   He could feel her learning his face, discovering the gentle contours 
and slopes which made him different from other men she may have been 
with in the past. He could feel the gentleness, the kindness of her 
touch, and he revelled in the unadulterated tenderness and love of her 
hands. He had never felt something so loving and he knew he would never 
find that love in the arms of any other woman.

   Mulder opened his eyes and saw her staring at him with an open face. He
knew what she wanted and he slowly gave in to her silent pleading. He
searched her eyes for a moment and then reached out and touched her face
with a warmness she had never felt. He placed his palm against her cheek
and covered her lips with his thumb.

   "I need you like I've never needed another woman in my life, and 
never will need another woman ever again. I look at you and you remind
me I'm alive, remind me that I'm not alone, that there is one person out 
there I can trust..." his voice trailed off for a moment as he looked
at her softly.

   "You've stood by me, you've followed me, you've lead me, you've saved 
me and you've let me save you. You're my partner, my best friend, my
confidant, my sanity, and the only woman I'll ever love." he said 
watching her lips curl gently beneath his thumb. 

   "I don't want to ever be without you, I don't want to go running off 
without you anymore. I want you by my side for always because I don't
think I could ever live without you. Dana," he said blinking slowly 
letting warm salty tears slip from his bright eyes, "Dana, I'm not sure I 
know how to do this, how to do "us" but I know I can't live without you.
I tried once.." he paused blinking his eyes, "and I don't ever want to do 
it again."

   Scully reached for his hand with her own and clutched it tightly. She
moved his hand and kissed his palm carefully and moved it away from her
mouth and whispered, "Fox, just love me and let me love you and 
everything else will just happen..." she said letting her voice trail
off losing herself in his wet eyes. He smiled slightly and squeezed her
hand. 


				***
It's coming along Christmas
they're cutting down trees
putting up raindeer and singing songs of joy and peace
wish I had a river I could skate away on
but it don't snow here, stays pretty green
but I'm going to make a lot of money and I'm going
to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so wide I could teach my feet how to fly
I wish I had a river I could skate away on,
cause I made my baby cry....
				***

   Gently Scully pulled Mulder's hand toward her, rolling back onto the
floor she led him to her. Mulder moved slowly, carefully, leaning down
and looking at her beautiful face against the light wool of the throw
rug beneath her. He looked at her hair, her forehead, her eyes, her nose 
and her lips. He had seen her this close before but it had always been in 
the comfort of sleep. He had imagined touching her, kissing her, making 
love to her a thousand times, a thousand different ways but he never
thought that reality could be more sensual than what his taxed mind could
imagine.

   "I've dreamt about this," he whispered touching her face with trembling
fingers.
   "I thought you didn't sleep, Mulder." she breathed slowly.

   "Only when I'm thinking of you, Scully." he said, his voice shakey. 
Scully smiled and waited for him. Their eyes met and he slowly lowered his 
face to meet her own. Scully closed her eyes and held her breath. Mulder 
paused for only a short moment, taking in her still face only a hair's 
breath from his own. He closed his own eyes as their lips met. 

				***
Tried hard to help me, put me at ease
loved me so naughty made me weak in the knees
and I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish 
and I'm sad
and I lost the best baby that I ever had
and I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so wide, teach my feet to fly
wish I had a river I could skate away on
cause I made my baby say good-bye...
		
				***

   His touch was very hesitant at first. He merely brushed her lips with 
his own in a light, innocent kiss. He breathed in her scent, her breath
and slowly touched her lips again. She touched his face and her fingers 
were electric.

				***

It's coming along Christmas
they're cutting down trees
putting up raindeer and singing songs of joy and peace
God! I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I wish I had a river I could skate away on,
cause I made my baby say good-bye....

				***

   He slowly opened his mouth and tasted her lips with his tongue, tasting
her sweetness, tasting her. He probed her lips for the first time feeling
as if he was tasting something sweet, something he had been dreaming of his 
entire life. He felt safe, aroused, in love and at peace. He felt her open 
her mouth and touch his tongue with her own. Her movements were equally as 
hesitant, equally as sensual. 

   She slowly moved her tongue over his lips, edging past his teeth in to 
his open mouth. She met his tongue and moved around it carefully with 
her own. It was the innocent first time kiss of two high school virgins, 
slow, gentle. She pulled him closer to her.

   He let her draw him nearer to her, he felt her heart beating through 
her shirt, thumping against his chest. How he loved this woman he held
trembling in his arms.

   Scully pulled away from his lips and looked up at him. He stared back 
at her, watching himself reflected in her pale eyes. He watched as tears
slid down her cheeks as she smiled at him gently.

   "Make love to me,"
   
   He looked at her and closed his eyes, his breath catching painfully in 
his chest. He lifted his hand, shaking, and touched her face carefully.

   "I love you," he said quietly, almost inaudibly.
   She turned her head and nuzzled his hand, "And I love you,"

   Slowly, Mulder began to take off her shirt. Scully layed back and 
allowed him to undress her. With trembling hands he unbutton the blue
denim shirt she was wearing. When he reached the final button he allowed
the shirt to fall open exposing a dark green bra. He ran a hand down 
her chest, over her stomach and let it rest on the button of her jeans. 
Her skin was so soft beneath his warm fingers. He looked at her face 
briefly and saw the faint smile which played across her pink lips as she
layed still with closed eyes. He let his eyes move down her body slowly. 
He sat up and leaned over to unlace her walking boots. He slipped them 
carefully from her feet and slipped off her socks. Slowly, after moving 
the boots out of the way, he layed back down alongside of her and unbutton
her blue jeans. With slow, deliberate hands, he unzipped her jeans and 
pulled them slowly from her body. He looked at her through sparlking eyes 
laying alongside of him in her open shirt, green bra and matching plain 
bikini panties.

   Looking at her laying on his floor like that, in all her beautiful 
glory, he was almost afraid to touch her. She opened her eyes and sought
out his own in the darkness. 

   He slipped off her shirt and set it on the couch with her jeans. As
he sat next to her he pulled his own t-shirt off and slowly pulled off the
faded blue jeans he was wearing. He layed back down in only his boxer 
shorts and put his hand against her belly. 

   "You're beautiful." he said leaning down and kissing her. She lifted 
her arms and wrapped them around him in a tight embrace as their kiss 
became more passionate, more needy as arousal engulfed them both sweeping 
them away in its tide. 

   Mulder moved his hands down Scully's back and unclapsed the bra and 
slowly pulled it from her. He moved away from her mouth and explored
first her neck, then slipped down to her collar bone tasting her sweat
and breathing in the scent of her being. He kissed her breasts, taking her
hardened nipples into his mouth, moving his tongue slowly, carefully and
then sucking harder until she called out his name and buried her hands in 
his hair. He moved his mouth slowly from her pale breasts and trailed kissed
down her stomach pausing to dip his tongue into her naval. She gasped at
the pleasure of his firey touch and whimpered when he finally pulled her
panties from her body, dropping his mouth into the core of her being,
exploring her, tasting her, exciting her in the most intimate ways.

  Scully closed her eyes and arched her back needing him against her,
melting at his touch, feeling like she had never felt before. She wanted
to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to beg, she wanted to take
him in her arms and hold him forever.

   "Mulder....Fox, my god," she gasped as he moved away from her gently,
slowly moving so he could look into her eyes. She reached her hands up
and grasped his face pulling him to her. He touched her hands briefly and 
moved away so he could slip off his boxer shorts. He returned to her grasp
and looked into her face as he moved his naked body against hers. She 
could feel his hardness against her and she stopped.

   They looked at one another for a long minute.

   Mulder opened his mouth to speak and she silence him with her fingers. 
She looked at him with loving eyes and he leaned down and kissed her 
gently, touching her lips with his own, feeling the heat from her mouth
mixed with his own. As he deepened the kiss, feeling her draw his tongue
into her own mouth he slowly moved closer.

   Scully breathed deeply as she felt him move on top of her. The need to
have him against her, in her, merging with her, filling her and making her
whole was agony. She moved her hands down to his hips and guided him 
slowly as she opened her legs for him.

   He entered her slowly overwhelmed by the first touch. He sank into her
feeling her tightness, hearing her whimper slightly as they merged into one
being. He paused as he waited for her to look at him. Scully opened her 
eyes and looked into Mulder's. Slowly, she began to move her hips and 
lead him gently. He leaned down and kissed her as they began to move 
together. As he increased the pace of their love making she dug her nails
into his back and whispered his name.

   Mulder closed his eyes as he gave into the passion of their love 
making. His mind was clear of everything but Scully, the woman he was
drowning within. Their pace became frantic and needy as their hands
explored greedily, their mouths merged and their breathing became one.

   He pulled away from her lips and buried his face in her hair as he 
gripped her shoulders in overwhelming passion. She cried out biting 
into his shoulder as she felt herself tumbling helpessly towards the bright 
white light of ecstacy.

   He cried out her name breathlessly feeling sweat pouring down his 
body.

   She yelled out his name as she felt herself letting go.

   Their lips met as they gasped for air. He pulled her close to him, 
burying himself deeper into her as he fused himself with the only woman 
he could ever love.

   Scully cried out with him, holding him tightly, as she finally fell
into a world she had never known before. 

   Mulder pulled the afgan up to cover their cooling bodies. He pulled 
Scully close, enjoying the feel of her heartbeat against his chest. She
was beginning to doze off in his arms, their hands entwined. He thought
about whispering kind word into her ear but decided to let the silence
between them speak all the "I love you's" that his heart and soul could
muster.
  
   He felt her squeeze his hand and he closed his eyes still feeling her
racing heart slow down and the rain continue to fall outside of his 
apartment. He let sleep overcome him and for the first time he held 
everything he had ever needed and ever wanted. 

   He held his life.



The End