The Switcheroo

By  SpookieBear

>For Trekkie6< 
********************************************************************* 
New Orleans. 
The day was hot and muggy with humidity. 
Mulder and Scully just finished up a case. 
Good thing too because they were starting to get on each other's nerves. 
They bickered about how to solved the case, they bickered about who the suspects were. 
The Agent assisting them watched them. 
She walked up to them and got a strand of hair with out them knowing it. 
"Mulder, I'm going to my hotel room." Scully said leaving in a huff. 
"Fine. I'll stay here and look at the Gulf of Mexico...Alone." He replied. 
The Agent shook her head. 'They need to respect each other.' She thought and got into her car and drove home. 
===================================================================== 
-The Agent's house- 
She walked in, shut her door and went down the basement. 
She lit candles and sat in a circle. 
She pouired blood into saucers and cut the strands of hair in half. 
She put one strand in a saucer and chanted. 
She did the same with the other. 
After a few moments, She put Mulder's other half of a strand into Scully's bowl and put Scully's strand into Mulder's bowl. 
She did another chant and stopped. 
"The spell will be broken when each one admits to respecting one another." She said and blew out the candles. 
===================================================================== 
-The Switcheroo- 
Scully felt quite strange. 
She put her pajamas on and layed in bed. 
She fell asleep a few moments later. 
********************************************************************* 
Mulder felt a bit strange himself and drove back to the hotel room. 
He layed in bed and quickly fell asleep. 
-3:21am- 
'Mulder' got up and went to the bathroom. 
He pulled down his pants and wet himself. 
He shook his head then looked to see that he had on satin pants. 
"WTF?" He asked loudly. 
He walked to the mirror and turned on the light. 
He let out a scream. 
********************************************************************* 
'Scully' heard the scream and went to 'Mulder's' room. 
She stopped when she realized she was a bit taller, and was wearing pants and a coat. 
'Mulder' Opened the door and saw 'Scully'. 
He pulled her in and pointed to the mirror. 
They both looked in it and screamed.

'Mulder' drove to Scully's apartment. 
"What?" 'Scully' asked. 
"You need to get out." 'Mulder' said. 
"Oh, your apartment." He said. 
"Listen to me. You do not make a mess in there..Got it?" He said. 
"Got it." 
"Good." 
'Scully' got out and went inside. 
'Mulder' drove to his apartment. 
===================================================================== 
-Scully's Apartment- 
'Scully' walked into her apartment and looked around. 
Mulder went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. 
"AAAKKK! Health freak!" He yelled and closed the fridge. 
He walked around and noticed how much nicer her apartment was. 
He got an idea and walked to her bedroom. 
He opened her drawers and looked at her bras. 
He stretched one out, grabbed the middle by his teeth and pulled back and let go. 
"Waterballoon launcher!!" He said looking at Scully's reflection. 
He bopped his head around and hopped on her bed. 
"Comfy." He said and landed on his back. 
"Ahhhh!" 
He got up and looked at the bathroom. 
"BUBBLE BATH!!" He yelled and went to turn on the water. 
He hummed the 'Stripper' and slowly took off 'Scully's' clothes and did a little dance, then got into the bathtub. 
He relaxed. 
'How bad can it be to be a woman?' He thought and rested. 
-Mulder's Apartment- 
'Mulder walked into his apartment and stopped. 
She shook his head and looked around. 
She went to the fridge and saw an old box of pizza in there with a beer. 
She shook his head and looked around again. 
She went into his room and put on shorts and a shirt and got cleaning materials and began to clean the apartment. 
'Why does he watch these?' Scully asked herself looking at the "videos". 
She was polite about them and neatly placed them on a shelf. 
She moved his bed and heard magizines fall. 
She shook his head and picked them up. 'These are going in a box.' She thought and placed them in an old box. 
She spent all night cleaning his apartment. 
She finished and the place looked clean. 
She dumped out the water and went to take a shower. 
She closed her eyes while putting on his underwear. 
She crawled into his bed and layed down. 'I hope this is over soon.' She thought. 'I really hate to be Mulder when we go to work.' 
'Mulder' got out of the bathtub and put on pajamas. 
He stood in front of the mirror and moved her chest in and out. 
He smiled then pulled back the covers and layed in the bed. 
"AHHH Scully." He said and fell asleep.


-At the Office- 
'Mulder' and 'Scully' woke up and realized they were not in their bodies. 
'Mulder' got out of bed and took a quick shower and looked in the mirror. 'I have to shave.' She thought and opened the medicine cabnet. 
She pulled out the shaving cream and got a razor and was very careful not to cut himself. 
She finished and wiped his face. 'Not bad.' She thought and went to get dressed. 
===================================================================== 
'Scully' got up took a quick shower and got out. 
He walked to the closet and pulled out a pantsuit and layed it on the bed. 
He walked to the underwear drawer and pulled out a bra. 
He looked at it and couldn't figure how to put it on. "These things are easier to take off then put them on." He said slipping it on backwards. 
He looked in the mirror and noticed it was on wrong and it hurt. 
He took it off, and put it on the right way and smiled. "10 min to put a bra on." He said and walked over and got dressed. 
When he put on her pants, he looked in her closet and found a pair of flat shoes and put them on. "Such tiny feet." He said with a smile. 
He looked in the mirror and realized he didn't put makeup on her. "I'll just take the bag and have her do it." He said and walked out of her apartment. 
===================================================================== 
They walked into the building at the same time. 
"You did a good job at shaving." 'Scully' said. "But you need to learn how to fix a tie." 
She stood in front of 'Mulder' and fixed his tie. 
A few agents walked pased them, noticed this and raised an eyebrow. 
'Mulder' looked at 'Scully'. "You didn't put make up on." He said. 
"I don't know how to put make up on." 'Scully' said. 
'Mulder' sighed. "Let's go down to the office and I'll put it on you and fix your hair." He said. 
'Scully' smiled and followed behind 'Mulder'. 
Walking behind them, seeing and hearing everything was Skinner with a big "WTF?" written on his face. 
He decided to go down to the basement to see what was going on with his Agents.	

'Mulder' and 'Scully' walked into the office and 'Scully' sat down. 
'Mulder' looked down at her. "Ok, what you need to do is, make sure that the foundation is ligtly on your face. Did you bring my make up bag?" She asked. 
"Yeah." He answered and handed it to him. 
'Mulder' took out the foundation and lightly put it on her face. "See? Now get the powder and lightly tap it on." He said and tapped the powder on with his hand. "Now, you need mascara. Rule number one of putting on mascara..Do not sneeze. You do and you look like a racoon." He said applying the make up to her face. "There, I look so much better." He said and put the cap back on the mascara. 
Skinner walked up and knocked on the door. 
'Scully' Stood up. "Sir." She said. 
'Mulder' turned around and looked at him. 
"Did you two do something while you were in New Orleans?" He asked. 
"No sir. Why?" 'Scully' asked. 
"You two are acting rather strange...Stranger than usual." He answered. 
"We are just not ourselves." 'Mulder' said. 
"Uh-huh." Skinner said. "I'll see you two in my office in ten minutes." 
They watched him leave. 
"Now what?" 'Mulder' asked. 
'Scully' smiled and stood up. "I think I should go see what it's like to be a woman in the FBI." He said and started towards the door. 
'Mulder' grabbed her arm. "Don't be messing with my body." She said. 
"Scully, I'm kidding." He said. 
'Mulder' let go of her arm. 
"Besides we need to figure out a way to get ourselves back before the end of the month." 'Mulder' said. 
"Why? What happens at the end of the month?" 'Scully' asked. 
'Mulder' leaned over her. "That's when you get my peroid." She said. 
A horrid look came over 'Scully's' face. "I'm going to go to the library after we turn in out reports and look up how this happened." He said. 
'Mulder' Started to laugh. 
"This isn't funny." 'Scully' said. 
"Oh yes it is." 'Mulder' said and got his report and walked to the elevator. 
'Scully' grabbed her report and ran after him. 
Skinner paced his office as 'Mulder' and 'Scully' sat down. 
'Scully' sat with her legs open and 'Mulder' kicked her. 
'Scully' turned and looked at 'Mulder' who crossed his legs. 
*OH* she mouthed and crossed her legs. 
They looked foward. 
"Everything seems to be normal here." Skinner said. 
They looked at him. 
"Anything to add?" He asked. 
"No sir." They said at the same time. 
"Good, dismissed." 
'Mulder' and 'Scully' walked out the door and to the elevator. 
When they got back to the office, 'Scully' looked around. 
"What are you looking for?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"AH HA!" 'Scully' said and pulled out a candy bar. 
"You wouldn't." 'Mulder' said. 
"Hmmm hummm hummm." 'Scully' said peeling back the wrapper. 
"Do you know how many calories that is?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"Yes I do." And he took a bite of it. 
'Mulder' started to breathe hard. 
He walked out to the fridge and came back with yogurt. 
"Is that yogurt?" 'Scully' asked. 
"Yes it is." He replied and opened the top and took a spoonful out of it, and ate it. 
A shudder came across 'Scully' and continued to eat the candy bar. 
'Mulder' finished the yogurt and smiled. 
They sat down and each one got a stomach ache. 
"We switched bodies but not our stomachs." 'Mulder' said. 
The phone rang and 'Mulder' picked it up. "Sculder. I mean Mulder. ok. Mulder I'm needed to go do an autopsy." 
'Scully' looked at 'Mulder', 'Mulder' looked at 'Scully' "Oh no!" they said at the same time.




"Scully' looked at 'Mulder'. "I can't do an autopsy." He said. 
"Just let me go with you and you keep guard." 'Mulder' said. 
'Scully' shook her finger at him. "That's a good idea." He said and stood up. 
They walked up to Skinner's office. 
'Scully' took the file from his secretary and walked and handed it to 'Mulder.' 
She shook his head. "This is going to be hard." She said. 
They walked to the elevator and got on. 
"Let's take your..my..whatever's car." 'Mulder' said. 
They got into Mulder's car and drove to the morgue. 
'Mulder' parked and got out and 'Scully' followed. 
"Can you walk a bit slower?" 'Scully' asked. 
"Oh am I walking to fast for you?" 'Mulder' asked. 
'Scully' looked up at him and snarled. 
They walked into the room and saw a body on the table. 
"Ok Mulder. Guard the door." 'Mulder' said. 
'Scully' peeked out the door once and a while as 'Mulder' performed the autopsy. 
'Scully' saw his hands being put into the body and pulling out different body parts. 
"EWWW!" He said. 
'Mulder' looked at 'Scully' and continued to do the autopsy. 
'Scully' looked out the door and looked back at 'Mulder'. 
She was done in a few hours. 
'Mulder' snapped off the gloves. 
"Well?" 'Scully' asked. 
"He died of 9 gunshot wounds." 'Mulder' said. 
"Whew! I'm glad. Because if this was an X File,we would be out there looking for what killed him...Like this." 'Scully' said. 
'Mulder' walked over and gathered notes and placed them in a folder. 
He then took off his labcoat and glasses. 
"Wow, I actually did an autopsy." 'Scully' said. 
"No big deal." 'Mulder' replied and walked out of the room with 'Scully' following him. 
"Oh man." 'Scully' said. 
"What?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"I need the bathroom." 'Scully' said walking to the men's room. 
'Mulder' grabbed her arm and directed her to the ladie's room. 
"Sorry." 'Scully' said and walked in. 
'Mulder' had the urge also and went into the mens room. 
"Scully' looked around. "So this is what it looks like." He said and walked int a stall. 
'I don't believe I'm using the bathroom like a woman.' He thought and finished up. 
'Scully' washed his hands and dried them. 
'Scully' walked out of the bathroom and looked for 'Mulder' who came out of the Men's room. 
"That was the most disgusting thing I had ever had to do." He said and walked down the hall. 
"Urnials?" 'Scully' asked. 
'Mulder' Stopped. "Yes! And I thought you weer going to go figure out how to get us back to our bodies?!?" He yelled. 
"Wow. I never seen myself with a temper." 'Scully' said. 
"AUGH!" 'Mulder' said and went to the car. 
'Scully' smiled and ran. "Wait! My little feet can't keep up with you!" 
'Mulder' stopped and looked at her. 
"Well you should slow down then--ladder legs." 'Mulder' said. 
"Oh that hurt." 'Scully' said getting into the car. 
'Mulder' got into the driver's seat and drove 'Scully' to the library.
'Mulder' parked in the library parking lot and 'Scully' got out. 
'Mulder' decided to follow just in case. 
They walked into the library together and went to the fiction section of the library. 
'Scully' looked around and gathered books on Witchcraft. 
"Scully' then went to the non fiction and gathered books on Voodoo, and White Magic. 
"You sure you are going to fing it in there?" 'Mulder' asked. 
'Scully' looked up at him. "Yes." He said. 
They sat down and 'Mulder' watched 'Scully' go through the books. 
"I can't believe I'm reading those things." 'Mulder' said. 
'Scully' looked up at 'Mulder' then continued reading. 
A few hours later, 'Scully' closed the last book. "Ok." He whispered. "We may have been cursed." 
'Mulder' started to giggle. "No, you WILL be cursed at the end of the month if you don't figure out how to get us rearranged." She said. 
'Scully' shook his head. "I mean when we were in New Orleans, we may have been cursed." He said. 
"A body switch?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"Yep." 'Scully' said. 
"How do we get out of it?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"Meet me at your apartment, I have a few ideas to toss around." 'Scully' said. 
They both got up and walked to the car. 
As they left, a woman cought 'Scully's' eye. 
'Scully' turned and smiled at her. 
The other woman raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I perfer men." She said and walked away. 
'Mulder' started to giggle. 
"I have to get my body back." 'Scully' said and walked out the door. 
'Mulder' drove 'Scully back to Headquarters. 
'Scully' got into her car and drove back to her apartment. 
'Mulder' turned around and drove back to her apartment. "I hope Mulder knows what he's doing." He said to herself. 
'Mulder' parked behind 'Scully' and got out. 
They walked into the apartment and 'Mulder' gasped. 
"What did you do to my apartment??" He yelled. 
He went into the bed room and saw the clothes all over the place. 
He picked up a bra. "Do you know how expensive this is?" He asked. 
"I just wanted to see if it would--Uh---Match what you had to wear." 'Scully' answered. 
He stood with a bra in one hand and a pair of underwear in the other. "Get me my body back!" He said. 
"Ok, Scully. One way to break the curse is to--uh..." 
"What Mulder???" 
"Kiss." 
"Kiss?" 
"Yes. In the one book I read. It said a curse can be broken if kissed." 'Scully' said. 
'Mulder' folded the bras and underwear up and placed them in the top drawer. 
He closed it and looked in the mirror. 
He turned and looked at 'Scully'. 
"Fine." He said and walked up to herself. "Kiss me." 
"Oh gee, I wanted to light candles and have wine. This is rushing." 'Scully' said. 
"MULDER!!!" 
"OK!!" 
'Mulder' leaned in and 'Scully lifted herself up. 
They could feel the hotness of their breath. 
"I feel like I'm kissing myself." 'Scully' said. 
Their lips bearly touched when Mulder's cel phone rang. 
'Scully' stepped back. "You need to answer that." She said. 
'Mulder' reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone. "Mulder." 
'Scully' watched as 'Mulder' talked. 
He pressed end on the phone. "The Gunmen want to see you--Me--Mulder." She said. 
"Well we better get over there." 'Scully' said walking to the door. 
'Mulder' looked around the apartment. "I want my place cleaned when we get back to outselves." He said pointing a finger at her. 
"Yes ma'am." She answered and followed herself out to the car.
'Scully' parked in front of the Gunmans place and got out. 
'Scully' rang the doorbell and waited til the door opened. 
Frohike straghtened himself out when he saw 'Scully'. 
Mulder saw this and decided to have a bit of fun. 
They walked in. 
"What do you three want?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"We found a few UFO landings in a certain area." Langly said turning to the computer. 
'Scully' stood by 'Mulder' and noticed Frohike was watching her. 
'Here's the fun' Mulder thought and smiled at Frohike. 
Frohike felt a bit flushed when she did this. 
He walked over and talked about the areas where they most frequently landed. 
'Scully' lifted her arm, rubbing against Frohike, and crossed them. 
He moved them under her boobs to make them seem bigger. 
Frohike got a crack in his voice as he saw this. 
'Mulder' cought on and began to stare at 'Scully'. 
'Scully' looked at 'Mulder' and backed down a bit. 
"Well Frohike. That was very interesting." 'Scully' said. "Can you print this out for us?" 
"Uh- yeah- sure." He said and walked over to the printer and printed out a copy for them. 
'Scully' walked up to Frohike. "I know you liked me for a very long time." He said running her fingers across his hand. "I wanted you to know, I respect you for that." 
"You do?" Frohike asked. 
'Scully' leaned in closer. "Yes." He whisperd close to his lips. 
"OHHHH!" he said as 'Scully' walked away. 
'Mulder' grabbed 'Scully' and pulled him aside. "What did you say or do to him?" 
"Nothing. He really likes me-you." 'Scully' said. 
"Do it again Mulder and I will hurt you!" She told him. 
"Ok. Sorry." 'Scully' said and turned to the guys who just stared at them. 
'Mulder' and 'Scully' just smiled at them. 
"Wierd." Langly said. 
"Yeah, Mulder I understand, but Scully?" Byers whispered back. 
Frohike just looked at 'Scully' in a dreamy state then handed 'Mulder' the copied papers. 
"Thank you." 'Scully' said breathly and kissed his cheek. 
'Mulder' grabbed 'Scully' and walked out of their place. 
Frohike swayed and fainted right where he stood. 
"I told you not to do anything!" 'Mulder' yelled. 
"AW Scully. The guy liked you. I thought you kissing him would make him feel good." 'Scully' said. 
They got into the car and drove back to 'Scully's' apartment. 
'Mulder' handed 'Scully' the papers and got out of the car. 
'Scully' got out of the car and went into her apartment. 
'Mulder' got out and looked at her. 
"What?" 'Scully' asked. 
'Mulder' grabbed her and kissed her. 
They kissed for a few seconds then backed off. 
"Feel any different?" 'Scully' asked. 
She swollowed hard. "Yes, but I'm not back in my body." He shouted. 
"Well me either!" 'Scully' yelled back. 
They both turned around and walked away. 
'Mulder' got in his car and drove to his apartment. 
'Scully' went inside hers. 
Sitting in the car watching them was CSM. 
He shook his head. 'Finally getting Mulder to crack.' He thought and drove off.

'Scully' sat on the couch thinking. 
"I'm bored." He told herself and got up. 
He looked around and smiled. "Going to go shopping." 
He got up and walked out of the apartment and drove to the mall. 
'Scully' walked into a few Women deparment stores and looked around. 
"Jeans." He said. "Scully needs jeans." 
He walked to the jean section and pulled out several pairs and went to try them on. 
"Boy she looks good in these." He said looking in the mirror. 
He took them off and set them aside and put on another pair. 
"Ohhhh these are so much better." he said and ran his hand across her behind. "I'll get her these." 
He put back on the slacks and walked out of the dressing room. 
He paid for the jeans and went down the mall and into a Victoria's Sceret and looked around. 
He saw a few things that interested him. 
'Oh, Scully would look so good in these.' He thought looking at a pair of satin pajamas. 
He looked around some more then bout a few other things that Scully looked good in and left. 
He looked at her watch and decided to go home. 
********************************************************************* 
'Mulder' paced around the apartment. 'How do we get back to outselves?' She thought. 'The kiss didn't work.' 
She paced looking and thinking. 
She finally gave up and went to read up on a few reports. 
As she sat down, Mulder's phone rang. 
"Mulder." 
"Agent Mulder, this is Skinner, I need to see you in my office." He said. 
'Mulder's' eyes got wide. "Yes sir." She said and hung up the phone. 
'What would Skinner want with Mulder this late?' She thought and got up and left. 
As she was driving, she pulled out his cel phone number and called him. 
"Scully." 
"Mulder it's me." 
"Scully, what can I do for you?" He asked. 
"Skinner wants to see you-me-me as you in his office." She said. 
"Did he say why?" He asked. 
"No." She answered. 
"Well, I'll meet you there in a few moments." He said and pressed end on the phone. 
'Mulder' pressed end on the phone and placed it back into his pocket. 
'I wonder what Skinner wants?' Scully thought driving to Headquarters. 
********************************************************************* 
'Scully' turned around and drove to Headquarters. 'I hope this is not an X File.' He thought. 'Scully won't be able to handle it.' 
He took a deep breath and shifted in her seat and drove to Headquarters.

Just as 'Scully' pulled into the parking area, her celphone rang. "Scully." He aswered. "Yes sir, I'll be right there." 
'Scully' pressed end on her phone and got out. 
He met up with 'Mulder'. "Skinner wants to see me too." He said. 
"Oh no! A case." 'Mulder' said. 
"Just do what you do best Scully." 'Scully' said. 
He sighed. "Fine." He said and pressed the elevator doors. 
They walked into Skinner's office together. 
He looked up. "You got here fast Scully." Skinner said. 
'Scully' just smiled. 
Skinner handed them a case file and sat down. "Three women, all killed. No motive, no reason. I thought you may have a take on this Agent Mulder." He said. 
Both looked up at Skinner. 
"Is there a problem Agents?" He asked looking at them. 
"No." They said at the same time. 
'Mulder' swallowed hard. "I need to really read into this to know what's going on." He said. 
"I see." Skinner said looking at them funny. 
"Well here are your plane tickets. I want this case sloved." He said and handed it to them. 
They took the tickets and walked out of the office. 
When they got into the elevator 'Scully' smiled. 
"What Mulder?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"You got here fast Scully." 'Scully' replied. "Boy I wanted to say something." 
'Mulder' gritted her teeth and slapped 'Scully' in the back of the head. 
"OW!!!" 'Scully' said. 
"DAMN!" 'Mulder said. 
"What?" 'Scully asked. 
"I messed up my own hair." He said. 
'Scully' smiled. "What ever you do to me affects you later." He said bouncing. 
"mulder' just looked at herself and got off when the doors opened. 
"I need a change of clothes." 'Mulder' said. 
"There's a set in the trunk." 'Scully' answered. "Oh and I bought you some clothes." 
"You did what?" 
"Buy you clothes. I bought you jeans." He said holding out the bag. 
'Mulder' walked over to herself. "How did you know what size to buy?" 
"I tried them on to see if they fit you. And boy do you look good in them." 'Scully' said. 
'Mulder' got a bit flushed. 
"Wow, I never seen myself get flushed before." 'Scully' said. 
"Fine." 'Mulder' said and walked to his car. "Meet you at the airport." 
"Sure thing." 'Scully' said and got into the car and drove to the airport. 
Skinner watched them from the security booth. 
"They need some time apart." He said to the guard. "They are begining to act like one another." 
He turned and walked back to his office.

'Scully' leaned over and turned on the radio and flipped sme stations. "OH! Shainia Twain!" He yelped and turned it up and started to dance and sing to the song: 
~~I'm going out tonight-I'm feeling alright 
Gonna let it all hang out 
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice 
Yeah I wanna scream and shout~~ 
'Scully' did a dance and tossed his head back at the "AH" 
~~No inhibitions-make no conditions 
Get a little out of line 
I an't gonna act politically correct 
I only wanna have a good time~~ 
~~The best thing about being a woman 
Is the prerogative to have a little bit of fun and...~~ 
~~Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-froget I'm alady 
Men's shirts-short skirts 
Oh, Oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style 
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction 
Color my hair-do what I dare 
Oh, oh oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel 
Man! I feel like a woman~~ 
He moved again and did the "Hoo!" putting out his hands. 
~~The girls ned a break-tonight we're gonna take 
The chance to get out on the town 
We don't need romance-we only wanna dance 
We're gonna let out hair hang down.~~ 
He sang the chourus and did the "OW! OW!" while dancing. 
He pulled beside Scully and motioned her to roll the window down. 
'Mulder' gave herself a confused look while 'Scully' was dancing. 
He leaned out and yelled. "MAN I FELL LIKE A WOMAN!" 
'Mulder' clenched her jaw and drove when the light turned green. 
'Scully' was laughing as he pulled into the parking area. 
He got out and got her bag and walked into the airport. 
'Scully' saw 'Mulder' and walked up to her. 
"Hey!" He said with a bright smile. 
"Having fun Mulder?" He asked. 
"Nope, not yet." He replied and pinched his behind. 
'Mulder' took a deep breath and boarded the plane. 
The Flight Attendendant looked at 'Scully.' 
"His time of the month." He said to her. 
"Oh, I know all about that." She replied. "I have a man at home." 
'Scully' smiled and walked over and sat by 'Mulder'. 
"Please do not embarass me." 'Mulder' said. 
"I won't. I promise." 'Scully' said. 
A pilot looked at Scully and smiled. 
'Scully' smiled back. 
He felt a kick in her leg. "Ow! I was just being polite." 
"Quit it Mulder!" She said through clenched. 
"Ok." He said "Sheeh." 
They sat back and went on their flight. 
But that was just the begining of the desaster to come.

Mulder and Scully walked to get a car and then drove to a hotel. 
They got seperate rooms and went to start on the case. 
'Scully' drove while 'Mulder' looked over the case. 
"So what do we have?" 'Scully' asked. 
"Looks like they were killed the same way." 'Mulder' said. 
"And?" 
"And, they were all women..Same age." 'Mulder' said. 
'Scully' nodded her head. 
"We need to go to the morgue first. You need to look at the body." 
"I need to look at the body?" 'Scully' asked. "You know I hate that." 
"It needs to be done." 'Mulder' said. 
"Ok." 'Scully' answered and looked at the map where the morgue was and drove to it. 
They got out and walked inside, showed their badges and went to see the bodies. 
'Scully' cringed at the site of the bodies. 
'Mulder' snapped on the gloves and looked them over. 
'Scully' walked to the door and looked to see the Sheriff walk up. 
"Scully, the Sheriffs coming up." She said and stepped back. 
'Mulder' took off the gloves and walked over to 'Scully'. 
The Sheriff walked in. "You Agents Mulder and Scully?" She asked. 
'Scully' looked at her with wide eyes. 
The Sheriff walked up to 'Mulder' "I heard so much about you." She said taking his hand. 
'Mulder' pulled his hand out of hers. "Thanks." He said with a smile. 
"Well I hope you find out who did this and why." She said and left. 
'Scully' had a smile on his face. "I'd go for it." He said. 
"Mulder, your're sick." She said and went back to look at the body. 
'Scully' made a 180* and went back to the door to keep on the look out. 
'Mulder' smiled and examined the body. 
A few hours later, 'Mulder' walked up to 'Scully' "They were killed the same way: asphyxiation, then the throat was cut." She said. "I got a print. I'm going to go run it through the computer." 
"I'll go to the crime scene." 'Scully' said. 
"Be careful. The suspect may come after you because you are a girl." She said. 
"I can fight." 'Scully' said. 
"Oh GAWD! I've seen you fight. You get your A$$ kicked all the time. You die. How in the Hell are we going to do the funeral?" 'Mulder' said. 
"I want to be buried in a Cheerleader uniform." He quipped. 
'Mulder' did all she could do to keep her head together. "Just be careful." She said and walked out of the morgue. 
'Scully' walked out also and walked to the first crime scene just down the road. 
As 'Scully' walked he saw the Sheriff walk up to her. 
"Can I ask you something?" The Sheriff asked. 
"What?" 'Scully' asked. 
"Is Agent Mulder married?" She asked. 
'Scully' swallowed hard. "No." 
"So you and he are not??" 
'Scully' looked at her. "No." 
"Oh, I should ask him out to dinner." She said. 
'Scully' smiled brightly. "You should. He's been so tense lately. I think he'd enjoy that." He said. 
"Where is he at now?" The Sheriff asked. 
"Getting a print traced." He answered. 
"I'll see you later Agent Scully, thanks." The Sheriff said. 
"Not a problem." He said waving with a smile. 
'Scully' walked around the crime scene getting clues. 
Around the corner, 'Scully' was being watched by the suspect.

'Mulder' was getting a printout of the suspect when the Sheriff walked up to her. 
"Agent Mulder?" The Sheriff asked. 
'Mulder' turned around. "Yes?" 
"I was wondering if you would join me for dinner." She asked. 
'Mulder' looked at her and smiled. "Uh-I'm on a case right now." She said. 
"When it's over?" The Sheriff asked. 
"Uh-I-uh....Hummm. I'll think about it." 'Mulder' answered. 
"Ok." The sheriff replied and lightly tugged on his tie. 
'Mulder' took a deep breah. "Mulder." She said and walked out of the police station with the composite of the suspect. 
She walked fast that his legs took long strides. 
'Mulder' Looked over to see 'Scully'. 
She walked over and saw the suspect run and grab him. 
'Scully' kicked and screamed. 
'MULDER!!" 'Mulder' yelled and ran up to him. 
The suspect picked up 'Scully' and ran to a van where they sped off. 
'Mulder' ran to where she couldn't run any more. 
She turned and ran back to the police station and got assistance to trace the van. 
She then got into the car and sped off in the direction that the van went to. 
"Don't you hurt my partner." She said gripping the steering wheel. 
===================================================================== 
'Scully' was tied to a bed. 
He looked around and saw the suspect and a partner walk towards him. 
"Oh we got a nice one." One said. 
"Oh yes we sure did." The suspect said opening her jacket and ubuttoning her shirt. 
'Mulder' felt fear run through him. 
"Wait. I need one too." The parner said. 
"Ok. We'll get you one, but she is mine." The suspect said. 
'Scully' watched them leave. 
He looked up to see her arms and legs tied. 
He twisted and turned her wrists to get out of the ropes, but they were too tight. 
He layed on the bed and waited..for the worst. 
===================================================================== 
'Mulder' searched frantically for her partner. 
She looked at every van and checked the tag to see if they matched. 
She got upset and kicked the car tire. 
"You do know that the car had nothing to do with your partner being kidnapped." The Sheriff said. 
'Mulder' turned to see her. "I know." She answered. 
"She's a smart woman. I think she can take care of herself." The Sheriff said. 
"I'm going to search some more." 'Mulder' said and got into the car and drove away. 
The Sheriff got into her car and asked for assistance for Agent Mulder to search the area. 
===================================================================== 
'Scully' looked around the room and thought. 'I need to do what Scully would never do.' He thought. 
He heard the door open and saw them drag another woman and tie her to the other side of the bed. 
'Scully' looked at the terrified girl and knew whatr he had to do to get out with the other girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~PG-13 coming up~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
'Mulder' looked around the town searching for 'Scully'. 
He stopped and got out of the car and actually looked in a few dumpsters. 
She sighed and got back into the car and drove away. 
********************************************************************* 
'Scully' layed in bed looking at the suspect and his partner. 
He took a deep breath. 'Ok, here we go.' He thought as the suspect walked up to her. 
The suspect ran his hand down Scully's thigh. 
He closed her eyes and made a moaning sound. 
"Oh you like that." The suspect said. 
'Scully' nodded his head. 
The suspect did it again and he moaned. 
The suspect ran his hand up her abs and to her neck. "If I take off the gag will you scaream?" He whispered. 
He shook her head no. 
The suspect took off the gag. 
He faced 'Scully's' face and bearly touched his lips with hers. 
"I'll do whatever you want." 'Scully' said in a very sexy whisper. 
The suspect ran both hands up and down 'Scully's' body. 
He moaned again. 
The suspect's partner got up. "I need a beer run." He said. 
'Scully' watched the partner leave. 
The suspect looked at the girl. "Wanna watch? You may learn something." He said and pulled up 'Scully's skirt. 
'Scully' looked up and noticed the rope had a loose knot in it. 
He looked down to see the suspect untie her legs. "Let's have some fun." He said. 
"Oh let's do." 'Scully' said and watched as the suspect kissed her inner thigh. 
Right as he looked up 'Scully' wrapped her legs around his neck. 
"Ohhh kinky." He said. 
"Yeah." 'Scully' said and squeezed as hard as he could with her legs around his neck. 
The suspect tried to get away but couldn't breathe. 
'Scully' watched as he turned red, then purple then blue. 
He kept her thighs tight around his neck til he went limp. 
He let go and the suspect fell right between her legs. 
"ICK!" 'Scully' said and kicked him off of her. 
He then eased up and untied the loose know with her teeth and got the ropes loose. 
'Scully' then untied the girl and they got off the bed. 
'Scully' walked to get her gun and waited for the partner. 
As soon as he walked in, 'Scully' yelled at him to get on the floor. 
He then procceded to put the handcuffs on the suspect and read him his rights. 
The girl opened the door and saw sirens and ran out to them. 
'Mulder' got out of the car and went up to 'Scully'. 
"Are you allright?" She asked looking at herself. 
"Yeah." He replied. 
"Mulder, could you please button up my shirt, you're showing everyone my bra." 'Mulder' said. 
"Oh sorry." He said and buttoned up the shirt. 
They walked out with one suspect in cuffs and the other they needed a body bag. 
"How did you kill him while you were tied up?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"Let's just say he tried to hurt the wrong Agent." 'Scully' answered and walked to the car. 
'Mulder' looked at the suspect then went to the car and got in. 
She looked at herself. "Mulder, what happened?" 
Mulder forced a Scully smile. "Nothing." He said. "Take me to the hotel." 
'Mulder' sighed and started the car and drove to the hotel. 
'Scully' walked into the room and locked the door. 
He went to the shower and washed the suspect off of her body. 
For that moment in his hole life, he was glad that he had killed someone. 
'If I was not Scully....' He thought, shook his head, and continued to shower.

'Mulder' layed down on the bed and thought about how the suspect died. 
'What did he do?' She thought. 
She shook his head and went to get ready for bed. 
She layed down and covered herself and turned to look out the window. 
She slowly went to sleep. 
********************************************************************* 
'Scully' came out of the bathroom and went to get her sleeping clothes on. 
He looked down and saw bruises forming on her thighs. 
He shook his head and put on her pants. 
He walked to the bed and layed down. 
'Oh Scully.' He thought and looked out the window. 
He slowly fell asleep. 
********************************************************************* 
The next moring, the Sheriff was at 'Mulder's' door. 
She knocked on it and she got up to answer it. 
"Hi." The Sheriff said holding a file. 
"Hi." 'Mulder' said. 
"I thought I'd bring you a report solving the case." She said with a smile. 
"Thank you." 'Mulder' said taking the report. 
"Well nice meeting you." The Sheriff said and walked away. 
'Mulder' walked into the room and shut the door. 
She looked over the report and was pleased. 
She walked to 'Scully's' room and knocked on the door. 
he woke up and walked to the door and opened it. "Yeah?" 
"Oh geeze, I look awful." He said to herself. 
"Scully, I've known that for years." He replied to her. 
She snarled at him. "I came to give you the Sheriff's report." She said. 
He took the report and sat down. 
"Looks good to me." He said a few moments later. "Ready to go home?" 
"Yes. And you need to figure out a way to switch us back." She said crossing his arms. 
"Ok Scully. One thing at a time." He said and went to change. 
'Mulder' left the room and went to change also. 
'Scully' was at the car putting in the suitcase when 'Mulder' walked out. 
"You are making me wear those?" 'Mulder' asked. 
'Scully' looked down. "Yeah, Why? Do these make your butt look too big?" He asked. 
"No." She answered. "It seems I have a big A$$ whenever I'm with you." 
'Scully' stood with his mouth open. 
'Mulder' smiled and went to turn in the keys. 
She came out and sat down. 
"Boomerang." He said. 
"Boomerang?" She asked. 
"I said something to you and you turned it around to me." He answered. 
She smiled and started the car and drove back to the airport. 
********************************************************************* 
The flight home was quiet for them. 
'Mulder' was handwriting the report and 'Scully' was trying to figure out a way to turn in his report to Skinner without telling her about what happened. 
He smiled when he figured it out. 
"Why are you smiling?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"No reason." 'Scully' answered. 
"You sent the Sheriff after me. Didn't you?" She asked. 
"Well if I was you, which you are...Oh never mind." He said and sat back. 
'Mulder' shook her head and continued to write her report.

They landed safely and got off the plane. 
'Scully' walked and got her suitcase. 
'Mulder' did the same and walked out the door. 
"I'll see you later." 'Scully' said. 
"Oh you'll see me in a few minutes." 'Mulder' said. 
"You going to your apartment?" 'Scully' asked. 
"Yes, I'm going to my apartment." 'Mulder' answered. 
"Alright. I'll see you there then." 'Scully' said and walked to her car. 
'Mulder' got into his car and drove to her apartment. 
A few moments later, they pulled up right behind each other. 
They got out and went into the apartment. 
"Why do you need to come here?" 'Scully' asked. 
'Mulder' turned. "I'm taking a bath. All you have is a shower." She said and walked past herself. 
She looked in the bedroom and shook his head. 
She went into the bathroom and drew himself a bath. 
'Scully' looked and she shut the door on him. 
"Why did you do that? I know what 'my' body looks like." He said. 
"Shut up Mulder." She said and got undressed. 
She sat in the tub and ralized she was a bit to tall for it. 
"Oh geeze!" She said then turned off the water. 
She layed back and lifted his legs out of the tub. 
She looked and noticed that they were up to his calf. 
She shifted in the tub and got comforable. 
'Scully' walked around and went into the kitchen and made some tea. 
He placed the cups on the table and waited for Scully to come out of the tub. 
A few moments later, 'Mulder' came out and walked to her kitchen. 
"I made tea for you." He said. 
She smiled and sat down. "So have you figured out how to get us back?" She asked sipping the tea. 
"To be honest..No. We may never get ourselves back." He said. 
'Mulder' nodded her head. "Do you think it originated in New Orleans?" She asked. 
"I never thought of that..Did you piss someone off?" He asked. 
"Mulder, I never pissed anyone off." She answered. 
"Well one of us did and I think they put a curse on us." He replied. 
They sat quietly looking at the tea cups. 
"Well I better get to your apartment." 'Mulder' said. 
"Yeah, I have a report to fill out." 'Scully' replied. "I'll see you tomorrow." 
"Yeah." 'Mulder' said leaving her apartment. 
'Scully' shut and locked the door and went to her computer and began to write his report. 
'Mulder' got into his car and drove to his apartment. 
She parked and got out and walked up to his apartment. 
She walked in and got undressed. 
She put on his sleeping clothes and crawled into bed and quickly fell asleep. 
'Scully' finished his report and printed it out. 
He signed the back: Dana Scully and closed it. 
He got up and got ready for bed. 
He looked down and saw the bruises getting blueish black. 
He shook her head and put on pajamas and went to bed. 
'Let's just hope these bruises get better before we switch.' He thought then fell asleep.

The next morning, 'Scully' went to Skinner's office and waited for him. 
He walked in and saw her. "Agent Scully, you're here earily." he said. 
"Yes sir. I need to talk to you." 'Scully' said. "It's about what happened on this case." 
Skinner looked at her then walked in his office. 
'Scully' followed behind. 
He handed Skinner the report and sat down. 
Skinner sat down and read the report. 
30 min passed when Skinner looked up at him. "I don't know what to say." He said. 
"Just keep this between us. I don't want Mulder or anyone else to know what happened. I feel sort of embarrassed that it happened." 'Scully' said. 
Skinner closed the file. "This is a matter between you and me. It will never be discussed again." He said locking his fingers together on top of the file. 
"Thank you sir." 'Scully' said and stood up. 
As she left for the door, Skinner stood up. "Tell Mulder I want to read his report when he gets in." He said. 
"Yes sir." 'Scully' said and opened the door and walked out. 
'Scully' took a deep breath and walked to the elevator and went to his office. 
********************************************************************* 
'Mulder' walked in the office a few minutes late. 
"Your alarm clock doesn't work." She said looking at herself. 
"Oh, I frogot to tell you that." He said smiling. 
"you are starting to really get under my skin." 'Mulder' said. 
"Gee, I thought I already was." He replied. 
She shook his head and sat down. 
"Uh-Skinner wants you in his office. He wants your report." He said. 
'Mulder' got up and looked at herself. "No make up again?" She asked. 
"You do know I don't know how to put make up on." He said. 
She shook his head. "At least put on some foundation." She said and walked out the door. 
He watched her leave. 'Boy my butt looks good.' He thought with a smile. 
He opened a drawer and took out the make up bag and opened it up. 
He looked at the bottle of foundation and opened it. "How do you see while putting this on?" He asked herself. 
He gave a big bright smile. "The bathroom." He said and put the top back on the foundation and grabbed the bag and went to the ladie's bathroom. 
********************************************************************* 
'Mulder' sat in front of Skinner as he went over the report. 
"Anything to add?" He asked looking at him. 
'He gives that look like a kid who is about to do something wrong to me.' She thought. "No sir." He said. 
"Well then, dismissed." Skinner said and 'Mulder' got up and walked out the door. 
She walked down the hall and into the elevator and into the office. 
'Mulder' sat down and looked over some reports and sighed. 'I never knew his life was like this.' She thought. 
She leaned back in the chair...A little to far and fell over. 
She did a summersault and got up on her knees and looked around. 'Good, no one saw that.' She thought and sat back in the seat..This time not leaning back so far. 
A few moments later, she was laughing to herself and shaking her head. 
********************************************************************* 
'Scully' looked in the mirror and lighly put on the foundation on her face. 
She then lightly put the powder on and looked at it. 'Too much.' He thought and got a tissue and lightly wiped some of it off. 
He then put on mascara and lightly put on lipstick. 
"There." He said smiling. "Cover Girl would be proud." 
He gave herself a kiss in the mirror and walked out of the bathroom. 
Two female Agents came out of the stalls and looked at each other. "What's up withy Scully?" One asked. 
"Probably has a boyfriend." The other one said. 
They raised their eyebrows at each oher, washed their hands and went back to work.

'Mulder' paced the office and looked at his jacket. 'He needs new clothes.' She thought. 'Well since he bought me some, I shall go get him some suits..But with a woman's touch.' 
She gave a smile and walke dout of the office and went up the stairs to the parking area and got in his car and drove to the mall and went shopping. 
'Scully' walked into the office and threw her arms out and yelled "TA DA!" 
He looked around. "Scully?" 
He looked outside the office. "Now where did she go?" He asked. 
He went inside and sat in his seat and picked up a file and read it. 
********************************************************************* 
'Mulder' walked into a clothing store and went to the suit area. 
"May I help you?" A man asked. 
"Yes, I need a new suit or two. Can you help me with that?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"Yes sir we can." He said and went to go get a mesuring tape. 
He came back a few moments later and mesured 'Mulder's' legs and arms and went to the back. 
'Mulder' loked around and came back with several suits and matching ties. 
She smiled and took them into a dressing room and tried them on. 
She came out and looked into the mirror. "This looks good." She said stretching out his arms, bending down and standing up. 
The man handed her a tie and put it on. 
'Mulder' looked in the mirror. "Perfect." She said. "I'll take this one. But let me see how the other suits look." 
"Yes sir." The man said and handed her another suit. 
She took it, got out of the other one and put it on. 
She looked at his reflection and shook his head. "No. looks like an undertaker." She said and took it off. 
"Let me see another suit." She said. 
She was handed another suit and she put it on. "This is it!" She said happily. "Damn Mulder looks good in this." 
She walked out and looked in the mirror to get the whole view. "I want this one too." She said. 
"Yes sir.' The man said and handed her a tie that matches. 
"Oh, this is good." She said turning around. 
She smiled and walked back into the dressing room and put on 'Mulder's' suit and walked out with the two she wanted. 
She was beaming as she paid for them and left the store. 
********************************************************************* 
'Scully' got up and waled to the filing cabnet and tried to reach the top of it. 
"Daman Scully, you're short." He said. 
He got a chair and stood on it to reach the top. 
He still couldn't reach it and stepped on the arms. 
Skinner walked in. "Agent Scully." he said. 
'Scully' was startled and slipped. 
Skinner ran and cought her just as she fell. 
He held her and looked into her eyes. 
'Scully' smiled nervously and Skinner let him go. 
"Thank you." He said and straightened out her suit. 
"Mulder' really puts these on top doesn't he?" Skinner said reaching for the file. 
"He likes to be on top of things." He said then felt his face flush. "Sorry." 
Skinner smiled. "I didn't hear a thing." He said. "Anyways, the reason I'm here is to ask you for a favor." 
"What?" 'Scully asked. 
"I need to go to a ball and I was wondering if you would like to go with me?" Skinner asked. "I would take someone else but you seem to be the only one I could think of." 
'Scully' looked at him with fear and anxiety. "Uh-Can I get back with you? I need to see if uh-Mulder needs anything." He said with his knee shaking. 
"Sure. Just call me and let me know before Saturday night." Skinner said and smiled. 
He walked out of the office. 
"OMG! Scully just got asked out by Skinner..Wait, I'm Scully!" He said. 
He plopped in his seat and started laughing.

'Mulder' walked into the office and saw herself laughing. 
"Ok, what's so funny?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"Skinner just asked me out." He said. 
"He what?!?!?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"Skinner asked me-you-me, to go to a ball with him." 'Scully' answered. 
"What did you say?" She asked sitting down. 
"I said I had to ask you first." He replied. 
'Mulder' tilted his head to the side. "You put make up on me. It looks actually good." She said. 
'Scully' beamed. "Anyways, want to go to a Ball with Skinner?" He asked. 
'Mulder' sighed. "I don't know." She said sitting back. 
"May meet some interesting people." He replied. 
"Just don't go home with anyone." She said looking at herself. 
"AWWWW come on..A pretty brunett??" He asked with wide eyes. 
"Mulder!" 
"Kidding. Jeeze, even as a man you still have no fun." He said dusting off her jacket. 
"Leave the boobs alone." She said. 
"You men, that all you can think of are boobs!" 'Scully' said, tossed her head back and walked out the door. 
'Mulder' looked at herself with his mouth wide opn. 
'Scully' peeked in. "Yes, it is all we think about!" He said and left. 
"I have no idea what's more disturbing, Mulder admiring my boobs or that he has a date with Skinner?" She asked. 
She started to giggle. "What if Skinner desides to kiss him?" She said. 
She started to laugh, bent over in the chair, and fell off laughing hard. 
********************************************************************* 
'Scully' walked off the elevator and went into Skinner's office. 
He looked aound for his secretary. 
He saw that his door was open walked over and knocked on the door frame. 
Skinner looked up and saw 'Scully'. 
"Agent Scully." He said standing up. 
"I'll go with you to the Ball." He said. 
"Good, the dress is nice but not sleazy." Skinner said. 
"Oh I would never dress sleazy." 'Scully' said. 
Skinner smiled. "I'll let you the time later on." He said. 
"I'll be ready with a dress to knock out all the Agents." He said with a smile. 
Skinner nodded and watched as 'Scully' left. 
'Scully's got a date with Skinn-er. Scully's got a date with Skinn-er.' Mulder sang through her head as he stepped into the elevator.

'Mulder' picked herself up and sat back in the chair. 
She looked at the door and picked up a file and read it. 
'Scully' came in. 
"Well?" He asked. 
"You have a date with Skinn-er." He sang. 
"I need to ge a dress." 'Mulder' said. 
"Well then, let's go shopping." 'Scully' said. 
'Mulder' stood up and walked towards herself. 
"Oh by the way, I got you a few new suits." 'Mulder' said. 
"Really?" 'Scully' asked. 
"Yep and I have ties that match." She said. 
'Scully' shook his head and walked out the door. 
They got into the elevator and 'Scully looked at 'Mulder's' tie and fixed it for her. 
They got off and went to Mulder's car and got in. 
'Mulder' drove to the mall and got out. 
'Scully' followed 'Mulder' into a store and watched as she searched for a dress. 
"This one and this one." She said and handed them to 'Scully.' "Go try them on." 
'Scully' got the dresses and went to go try them on. 
He walked out and Scully looked at herself. 
"Yes, this one will do." She said walking around herself. 
"You sure? It feels very uncomfortable." He said. 
"Where at?" She asked. 
"In the..Uh-boobie area." He said. 
"Oh, well go try the other one on." She said. 
'Scully' walked back into the dressing room and tried on the other dress. 
He came out. 
"Wow." She said walking around herself. 
"This is the one." 'Scully' said. "You look real good in it." 
"What will Skinner think?" She asked. 
"Hopefully, he likes the way you look." He replied. 
Scully giggled. "Feel like Scott Bacula in Quantum Leap?" 
'Scully' looked up at himself. "Oh Boy." He said with a smile. 
'Mulder' smiled. and stepped back. "You do know you need shoes to go with that dress." 
'Scully' peeked his head out. "Heels?" 
"Yep." 
"Damn!" He said and went back into the dressing room. 
He came out with the dress and walked to where the shoes were and tried on several pairs til they found the right ones. 
'Scully' had trouble walking in them at first the adapted to them. 
"Well that's it then." 'Mulder' said. "You are all ready to go to the ball." 
'Scully' looked at 'Mulder.' 
They payed for the dress and shoes and left the store. 
They got into the car and drove back to Headquarters and put the dress into 'Scully's' car and went into the office. 
CSM looked at them and gave his creepy smile. 'Wonder what they are up to?' He thought and drove away.

100389.101 in reply to 100389.97 	
They sat in the office finishing up the reports that were placed on the desk. 
The phone rang and 'Mulder' picked it up. 'Scully' it's for you. 
'Scully' took it. "Scully. Yes sir. I'll be ready then. Bye." He said and hung up the phone. "I have a date with Skinner. This Friday night at 7pm." He said. 
"Well, have fun. AND DO NOT DO ANYTHING TO MY BODY!" She said loudly. 
"I won't." He replied. 
She looked at herself. "Friday we are taking a personal day off and you are going to get me all pretty." She said. 
"What do you mean 'all pretty?' " He asked. 
"A manacure, pedicure, spa treatment." She said. 
"Oh that. Okay." He said bouncing in the chair. 
"And another thing..QUIT BOUBCING! I DO NOT BOUNCE!" She said. 
"Scully, calm down. I'll be you and you be me. Which we are being." He said looking confused. 
She sat back down and finished up the reports. 
********************************************************************* 
Friday came and 'Mulder' was at 'Scully's' apartment. 
They got him ready and went to get him all fixed up fo tonight. 
'Mulder' sat while 'Scully' got her nails polished and trimmed. 
He really loved the massage and spa treatment. 
They fixed his har and put on the right make up and he went in and changed into the dress and shoes. 
'Scully' walked and stood in front of 'Mulder'. 
"Damn! I look good." She said. 
The styilsts looked at them wierdly. 
'Mulder' checked her nails and face. "Ok. you go have fun with Skinner." She said. 
They walked out and got into the car. 
"So is he going to pick you-me-up?" She asked. 
"Yes." He answered. 
'Mulder' nodded her head. "I want details." She said. 
'Scully' smiled. "Oh, I'll tell you everything." He said. 
'Mulder' parked the car and got out. 
'Scully' went into the apartment and waited for Skinner. 
'Mulder' saw Skinner arive and get out of the car. 
He was in a bow tie suit and held a rose. 
"Oh how so sweet." She said. 
Skinner knocked on the door and 'Scully' opened it. 
"Agent Scully. You look...Really nice." He said. 
'Scully' looked down at herself. "Thanks." He said and smiled. 
"Here." Skinner said handing her a rose. 
"Thank you." He said. "Let me put this over here so nothing will happen to it." 
He came back and put his arm in his and walked out of the apartment. 
'Mulder' watched as 'Scully' was led into the car by Skinner. 
He opened the door and shut it for her. 
Skinner walked aroung to the driver's side and got in. 
'Mulder' watched as he drove past him. 
"God I really hate myself right now." She said to himself. 
She got out and went into her apartment to wait for Mulder and for him to tell her what happened. 
	
Skinner parked his car and got out. 
he walked over and opened the door for 'Scully'. 
He got out and smiled at Skinner and walked with him into the hotel. 
"So who's going to be here?" 'Scully' asked. 
"Just people from the FBI. They come from all over the country." Skinner answered. 
'Scully' walked into a huge ball room and looked around. 
There were Agents in suits and ties, and long flowing dresses. 
He looked at the floor which was marbled in gold and black. 
Burgundy curtains swayed across the walls in U's. 
He looked up to see the crystal chandelier giving just enough light so everyone could see. 
"This place is increadible." 'Scully' said. 
"I know. You should see it when it's dressed up for a wedding." Skinner replied and walked 'Scully' to a table and sat him down. "I'm going to go get us a drink. Wine ok?" He asked. 
"Yes sir." He said. 
"Uh-Scully. You can call me Walter." 
"You can call me Dana." 
Skiner gave him a smile and left. 
'Ohhhhh! We are on a first name basis.' He thought with a smile. 
'Scully' looked around and saw a few men looking at her. 
They smiled at her and walked up to her. 
"Would you like to dance?" One asked. 
"No thank you. I have a date." 'Scully' answered. 
"Okay." He replied and left. 
A few moments later Skinner came back with a glass of wine and handed it to him. 
"Thank you." He said and sipped the wine. 
Skinner sat beside him and looked around. 
"You know we don't have to stay here." Skinner said. 
'Scully' paused the glass of wine as he drank it and looked over at him with his eyes. 
He slowy put the wine glass down. "What do you mean?" 'Scully' asked. 
"I mean, I just needed to show up and say hi to a few people. I can take you home whenever you want to." Skinner replied. 
"Oh,ok." 'Scully' said somewhat relieved. 
The music started and a few people were dancing. 
'Scully' looked out into the crowd and looked at Skinner. "Would you like to dane?" He asked. 
"You sure?" Skinner asked. 
"Yeah, why not? The last time I went to something like this was......" Mulder had to think fast. "My prom." 
Skinner looked over at him and stood up. 
Skinner reached for his hand and walked him out to the dance floor. 
Just as they got the re, the slow music started. 
'Oh crap!' 'Scully' thought as Skinner put his arm around his waist and held the other hand and moved in closer. 
'Scully' put on a forced smile as he danced with Skinner. 
'Oh this is creepy.' He thought feel ing Skinner's body against his. 
He felt his breathing on his neck. 
"Dana, thank you for coming tonight. It's been so long since I've been out since I got divorced." Skinner said quietly. 
"Not a problem." 'Scully' said stiffening up. 
When the music stopped, Skinner stepped back and looked at 'Scully'. "You are very beautiful." He said. 
Skinnner looked into his eyes and leaned in. 
	
'Scully' stepped back. "Uh- as much as I like you. I don't think that would be appropiate." He said. 
Skinner felt embarrased. 
"Don't worry sir. I had a good time." He said touching Skinner's cheek." 
"Ready to go home?" Skinner asked. 
"Yes. I have a long day of cleaning ahead of me tomorrow." He said. 
Skinner escourted Scully out and drove him home. 
'Scully' sat in the seat still a bit nerved about almost kissing Skinner. 
Whe he stopped in front of 'Scully's' apartment building, he turned and looked at him. 
'Scully' leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you." He said and got out of the car. 
Skinner smiled and drove away. 
"Thank god that's over!" He said loudly. 
He walked to her apaertment door and unlocked it. 
He stepped inside and saw himself on the couch asleep. 
He shook her head and walked over to himself. 
"Scully." He said gently rocking him. 
She woke up and loked at herself. "Back so soon?" She asked sitting up. 
"Yes." He said taking off the shoes. 
"What happened?" She asked. 
"Well for starters, Skinner tried to kiss you-me." He said. 
"You have got to be kidding?" She asked. 
"No." He answered. "All and all it was a real good date." 
"Did you eat anything?" She asked. 
"No the kissing thing made me loose my appitite." He answered. 
'Mulder' started to laugh. "I have some other bad news for you." She said. 
"What?" 
She reached over and got her agenda book. "You have an appointment with a gynecologist on Thursday." She said. 
'Scully's' Face went white. "I should have kissed Skinner. It would not have been as bad as doing that." He said getting up and going to the bedroom. 
"Oh Mulder, it's not that bad. The period is worse." She said. 
She saw the door fly open and him wlking out of the room. 
"What are you doing?" She asked. 
"Finding a way to get us back to where we belong. There is no way in hell I'm going to have a period!" he said. 
'Mulder' was on the floor laughing as he was typing on the computer to see how to reverese the curse. 
After a long while, 'Mulder' sat up and looked at herself. "You know if we never get back, we can be together. I mean you can stay home and have the babies and I can go be a doctor." She said. 
He stopped and looked at himself. "I like the together part, but no babies." He said. "And the doctor thing...Well my mom would freak if I became a doctor." 
"Everyone in the FBI would." She said. 
"Scully' looked at 'Mulder' and 'Mulder' looked at 'Scully'. 
He got up and walked over and kissed her. 
This time with meaning. 
After a long passonate kiss, they pulled away and looked at each other. 
"I feel different." She said. 
"You probably need to take a cold shower. Trust me it works." He said sitting down and did reasearch. 
'Mulder' couldn't sit still and she got up and noticed something different. 
She shook her head and went into the bathroom and took a long cold shower. 
'Mensral cycle. HA! Deal with being a man and in the mood.' He thought and laughed to himself.

'Mulder' stood in the shower and waited. 
The cold water helped alot. 
She got out and dried off and got dressed. 
Looking in the mirror, she wondered if 'they' really were going to stay that way. 
She ran her hand through his hair and walked out. 
'Scully' had fallen asleep on the couch. "Rough date?" She whispered and covered herself and went into the kitchen and got cleaner and cleaned her apartment. 
********************************************************************* 
The next morning, 'Scully' woke up and saw 'Mulder' in her bed. 
'I finally get my body in that bed and it's not me.' He thought. 
He went into the bathroom and took a shower and got out. 
He put on her robe and quietly walked to the closet. 
'Mulder' shifted in her bed and 'Scully' looked at himself. 
He looked back into the closet and took out a suit and went back into the bathroom and got dressed. 
As he was putting on her pants, he saw the bruises turning yellow. 'They are getting better.' He thought and put the pants up all the way. 
He zipped them and tucked her shirt in and buttoned up. 
He walked out of the bathroom to see himself sitting up in the bed. "Good moring honey." He said with a smile. 
"Oh shut up.' She said standing up. 
"What's wrong? You didn't sleep well?" He asked teasing. 
She shot him a look that made him jump back. "Damn! I never made that face before." He said. 
'Mulder' stood up and went to the bathroom. 
"Hey! Make sure you put the seat down when you are done!" He said. "I always wanted to say that." 
He walked to the closet and put on a pair of shoes and waked to the mirror and put makeup on. 
He finished and made sexy looks at herself. "You sexy thing you." He said blowing kisses at herself. 
"CUT THAT OUT!" She yelled looking at herself. 
"What? You don't find yourself attractive? Well I do." He said. 
"Mulder, it's too freaken earily in the morning to be messing around." She said walking past herself. 
"You know for a 'man' you seem to have PMS!" He said. 
'Mulder' stepped back into the bedroom. "Honey with PMS, you will 'want' to shoot yourself. Why may you ask? Because men give off a certain vibe around that time of the month. At gets really annoying, the smell, the look, and sound of a man. Then as soon as 'it' starts, you want to have wild passonate sex with him. Trust me Mulder, you 'do not' want that feeling." She said then walked back out. 
He looked in the mirror. "Well at leat it won't be the first time I ever hated myself." He said to himself and finished getting ready.

'Mulder' walked back into the bedroom and looked at herself. "You do know that today is Saturday." She said. 
'Scully' put down the mascara. "It is? Boy do I have my dated messed up." He said. 
'Mulder' watched him go and get a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out and go into the bathroom and come out. 
She looked at herself. "You do know that's not me." She said. 
"I know. It's me." he said. 
Scully sulked and sat on the bed. 
They heard a knock on the door. "hark I hear the door knock." He said and walked to the livingroom. 
He opened the door and saw Skinner standing in the doorway. "Sir." He said. 
"Agent Scully, thank you for last night." he said. 
"Not a problem." He replied. 
"I'll see you on Mondy then." He said and walked down the hall. 
'Scully' shut the door and looked at himself. "I think Skinner's got it bad for you." He said. 
'Mulder' shook her head. "Please tell me you didn't do anything." She said. 
"All I did was kiss him on the cheek that's all." 
"You Sure?" 
"Yes. Besides, I'm not that kind of guy." He said. 
'Mulder' started to laugh. 
"Come on Scully, let me go buy you lunch." 
"With your money." She said. 
"I'll stop by the bank and make a withdrawl." 
They smiled at each other and went out to have lunch. 
As they walked, Men looked at 'Scully' while women looked at 'Mulder'. 
They sat at a bench and talked about things that they never discussed before, Scully talked about woman things and Mulder about men things. 
As it got dark, 'Scully' looked at 'Mulder' "Have you ever thought about what it would feel like to have sex this way?" 
"MULDER!!!!" She yelled. 
"I just wanted to know what it felt like to have more than one...You know.." He said. 
"No. You are not going to do that. If you do I'll shoot you." She said. 
"I was just asking." He said. 
'Mulder' looked at 'Scully'. She was too embarrassed to admit she was thinking the same thing. 
"Well I think we better turn in for the day." 'Scully' said. 
"Yeah." 'Mulder' replied and walked to his car. 
'Scully' got in and 'Mulder' drove him home. 
"Be careful with my body." She said. 
"I will." He replied and walked into the apartment complex. 
She drove back to his apartment. "Skinner likes me. No he likes Mulder as me. EWWWW!" She said to herself and shuddered. 
'Scully' walked into her apartment and tossed the keys on the table. 
He sat on the couch and took off her shoes and layed down on it. 
"Oh, Scully." He said. "How do we change back?" 
He crossed her arms and thought all night about it, he had to get back before he had to go to the gynecologist. 
That thought made him shudder.

Sunday was not a good day for 'Scully.' 
He couldn't figure out how to do her laundry. 
He reached over the bed and picked up the phone. "Hello?" 
"Hey Scully. How do you do your laundry?" He asked. 
"Uh-just leave it there til I get there." She said. 
"No Scully, I think I can do your laundry." He said. 
"NO you can't. You have to seperate the clothes, put the underwear and bras in a little bag... Wait til I get there." She said. 
"Ok, fine." He said and hung up the phone. 'What little bag?' 
He looked around and saw nothing. "I think she's crazy." He said to himself and got off the bed. 
He walked to the kitchen. "On the catwalk, on the catwalk, I shake my little tush on the catwalk." He sang to herself while doing a little dance shaking her behind. 
'Mulder' Got dressed and went out of the apartment and went back to her apartment. 'Laundry. He's going to do my laundry. Nah uh, no way.' She thought and gripped the steering wheel. 
She pulled into a parking area and got out. 
She walked up to her door and knocked on it. 
'Scully' answered the door and smiled. "Hi. You came to do my laundry?" He asked. 
"No I came to do mine." She answered. 
'Scully' smiled and watched as she divided the laundry and put them in a specific order. 
She then put the underwear in a little mesh bag and zipped it up. 
"See how easy that was?" She asked. 
"For you maybie but for me..Nah." He replied. 
"There is so much for you to learn about being a woman." She said looking at him. 
He just looked at himself with a smile. 
She shook his head. "I hope we don't have any cases to go on this week." She said. 
"Why?" He asked. 
"Wanna see yourself do another autopsy?" She asked. 
"NOPE!" He said quickly. 
"Good. Now let me go wash these for you." She said. 
'Scully' watched himself pick up the basket and walk out the door. 
"I'm too sexy for my body." He sang walking back towards the kitchen. 
'Mulder' put the basket down and put quarters in and started three of the washers. 
She put in the clothes and waited til they were done. 
She then put them in the dryer, except for the bras and underwear. 
She sat on a washing machine while the clothes dried. 
She stood humming to himself while folding the clothes. 
A neighbor walked in and saw 'Mulder' folding her clothes. 
She gave a wierd look as she passed him. 
"Hi Mrs. Hill." He said. 
"Hi." She said cautiously still looking at him. 
'Mulder' noticed the look. "Oh this? My partner and I decided to swap duties for a day." She said trying to cover himself. 
"Ok." Mrs. Hill said and went to do her laundry. 
'Mulder finished up and walked back to her apartment and opened the door to see herself dancing. 
"MULDER!!" 
He spun around and saw himself holding the basket. 
"Hi baby!" He said. "Wanna boogie?" 
"That's it." She said dropping the basket on the floor and walking up to herself. 
"Scully, you need to loosen up some. If we never get back to the way were were..Which was a good song and movie...We have to be who we are." He said. 
'Mulder' sighed and sat on the couch. 
'Scully' looked at himself and saw that he was crying. "Scully." he said putting her arms around him. 
"I'm scared. I want my body back." She said. 
"I want my body back too. But we have to deal with what we have." He said. "I know you are me and I am you. That's all that matters now ok?" 
She nodded his head and looked up at herself. 
"Go wash my face." he said. 
She got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face. 
'That's the first time I ever saw myself cry.' he thought. 'Not a pretty sight.' 
He got up and picked up the basket of clothes and went to the bedroom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Right Said Fred. "I'm Too Sexy" :1991~~~~~~~~~~~

'Mulder' came out of the bedroom and saw herself put up the clothes. 
She leaned against the doorway and watched Mulder neatly put the clothes up. 
"See I'm not that big of a slob." He said smiling at her. 
She shook his head and sat on the bed. "Ok, a few things you need to know. My mom may call for lunch tomorrow. Say you have to do an autopsy and can't made it." She said. 
"Wait, you don't want me to have lunch with your mom?" 
"Bill will be there." She said. 
"Hey it will be the first time I've been around him and he will like me." He said. 
"No. Anyways as I was saying, you need to tell her you are doing an autopsy. Then make sure everything is ready for tomorrow." She replied. 
"Ok, I think I got it." He said. 
She stood up. "I need to go for a long walk." She said. 
"Want me to go with you?" He asked. 
"No. I need to sort things out." She answered and walke dout the bedroom door and the apartment. 
'Scully' looked at the laundry and finished putting it up for her. 

'Mulder' walked down the street and stopped at the corner park and sat on a bench. 
She took out his badge and looked at it. 'If we stay this way, I'll make sure everyone of those people who made fun of you get's a slap of reality when you become a doctor.' She thought. 
She placed the badge back in his pocket and sat back watching the children play til it got dark. 
She looked at his watch and smiled. 'Loosen up? I think I will.' She thought getting up and walking back to her apartment. 

'Scully' was sweeping the floor dancing around. 
'Mulder' walked in. "Hey! Let's go out." 
"Where?" He asked. 
"To a club. Let's go dancing." She said. 
'Scully' smiled. "You have no idea how badly I wanted to hermyself say that." He said. 
She watched as he ran and put on a pair of flat shoes. "Ready?" 
She smiled. "Yes." 
"Mulder' as 'Scully' and 'Scully' as 'Mulder' went to go to a club and have fun.

The club was jumpin with people walking around with drinks in their hands. 
'Scully' grabbed 'Mulder's' hand and went down the steps to a table and sat down. "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK?" He yelled. 
"JUST A BEER." She yelled back. 
"HAND ME MY WALLET." He said. 
'Mulder' handed him his wallet and watched as he went to the bar. 
'Oh this is so stupid.' She thought looking around. 
She glanced over and saw a very nice looking woman smile at her. 'Oh dear lord.' She thoght as she walked up to her. 
She sat in the seat and moved to her breasts could be seen. "HI." She said. 
'Mulder' smiled. "Hi." 
"What's your name?" She asked. 
"Mulder." 
"I'm Britt." She replied leaning foward. "Can I buy you a drink?" 
'Mulder' looked up to see 'Scully' put a bottle of beer on the table. "He's with me." He said looking at her. 
Britt put her hands up. "Sorry." She said and walked away. 
'Scully' leaned in and smiled. "If I was me, he'd be on my bed." He said. 
'Mulder' got a bit flushed at what he said. 
"Just kidding." He replied sitting down. 
'Mulder' shook his head and drank the beer. 
'Scully' made a face. "I have to go to the bathroom." He said getting up. 
"Mulder..." 
She watched as he went into the crowd and disappeared. 
She sighed and drank the beer. 
'Scully' went into the bathroom and used it. 
He came out and washed her hands and looked at how the women dressed: Prostitutes. He shook her head and went back out to Scully. 
A man followed her and tapped her on the shoulder. 
He turned and looked at him. "Yes?" 
"Wanna dance?" He asked. 
"No thank you." He said and walked away. 
He grabbed her arm. "I asked you nicely." 
"And I said no nicely." He replied. 
The man grabbed the other arm and pulled him close and kissed him putting one hand on her behind and the other on her breast. 
'Scully' pushed him back, made a fist and punched him in the face sending him over a table and crahing him into three chairs. 
All the women cheered and a few men appladed. 
'Mulder' came running up to herself. "What happened?" She asked. 
"He..He..ARRGH!" He said and stormed to the door and was stopped by the bouncer. 
He shook her hand and looked at it. 
'Mulder' came up to him and saw tears in her eyes. "I hurt your hand." He said. "I'm so sorry." 
She smiled at him. "It's ok." She said. 
The bartender came up to 'Mulder' and handed her a towel with ice. 
She placed it on her hand and smiled. 
He looked up at her and turned to see the cops come in. 
"$20 that Skinner will be getting a call here shortly." 'Scully' said. 
"Oh gawd." 'Mulder' said. 

"What the hell is going on with you two??" Skinner said looking at them in the interrogation room. 
He stood looking at 'Mulder'. "I want to speak to Scully alone." He said. 
'Mulder' got up and walked out the door. 
"Crap.' He thought looking to see Skinner pull the chair closer to him. 
"What happened?" Skinner asked looking at 'Scully's' swolen hand. 
'Scully' took a deep breath. "I came out of the bathroom and the man tapped me on the shoulder, asking me to dance with him. I said no. He then grabbed me and said 'I asked you nicely'. I said 'I said no nicely'. He then grabbed me, kised me, then..." He put her head down. "Grabbed my behind and breast. That's when I hit him." 
Skinner looked at 'Scully' and grabbed her hand. "I'll see he's charged with sexual assult on a Federal Agent." He said standing up. "Why did you go there anyway?" He asked. 
"Mulder and I wanted to go get a drink, that's all." He replied. 
Skinner nodded his head and walked out the door. 
He noticed 'Mulder' sitting in a chair with his legs crossed. 
He shook his head and walked past her. 
She stood up and went into the room. "What happened?" 
'Scully' stood up. "Got on Skinner's good side." He said and walked out the door. 
She shook his head and followed. "Let's go home." 
'Scully' wrapped her arm around his and left the police station.

'Mulder' drove back to her apartment and helped 'Scully' go inside. 
She walked over to the medcine chest and took out a few asprins. "Here." she said handing thim to herself. 
He took them and walked to get a glass of water and tossed them back. 
'Scully' walked to the bed and layed down. 
'Mulder' went in and covered him up. "I'm really sorry." He said. 
"Mulder, I would have done the same thing. Besides, I'm keeping quiet about you kissing a guy." she said. 
'Scully's' face went white and he jumped out of bed. 
"Mulder??" She asked. 
She looked into the bathroom to see him brushing her teeth and rinsing several times. 
She started to giggle as he came out. "Shut up Scully." He said and went back to bed. 
She smiled at him as he layed down. 
She shook his head. "I'm going to your home." She said and left her apartment. 
She had a smile on his face as he drove back to his apartment. 

'Scully' sat watching tv when her phone rang. 'Oh please don't let that be her mom.' he thought as he picked it up. "hello?" 
"Agent Scully? I just wanted to check up on you." Skinner said. 
"Oh I'm fine sir. The swelling has gone down some." He answered. 
"Good, I hope to see you on Monday." He replied. 
"Monday it is." He said. 
Skinner hung up the phone and 'Scully' smiled. "Skinner likes Scul-ly. Skinner likes Scul-ly." He sang to himself as he went to go take a hot bath. 

'Mulder' sat looking at his fish. 'Increadable how they just swim around with no life.' She thought. "OMG! I'm a fish!" She said suddenly. 
She then got up and walked to the bathroom to take a shower and go for a long walk. 

'Scully' sat relaxing in the tup listenting to the radio when the phone rang. 
He sat up and listened: "Dana, it's your mother. If you get this mesage, we are having dinner at home tonight. But if you don't call me back you are probably out on a case. Anyways, I'll see you soon." 
'Dinner at the Scul-ly's? Hummmm.' He thought. 'Should I or shouldn't I?' 
He smiled. "Nah, Scully will kill me." He said to herself and sat back in the tub. 

'Mulder' walked back into the apartment with several books and placed them on the coffee table and began to read. 
She finished 2 book in an hour and looked at the time. 'I'm supposed to have dinner with my mom tonight.' She thought. 'I need to get back to my body.' Then it hit her: "New Orleans! If we canget another Voodoo person, maybie they can reverse the spell, curse, whatever." She said to herself. "Oh no, I'm talking like Mulder now." 
She got up and picked up the phone and called her apartment to tell Mulder her idea.

'Scully' got dressed and walked around the apartment. He was singing "Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel." Everytime he passed the mirror. 
The phone rang and he danced a step, turned and picked up the phone. "Agent Dana Scully here." He said. 
"Mulder, how can you be so chipper?" She asked. 
"Well because I can." He said. 
It got quiet on the like. "Just wait." She said. "You are going to hate it in a few weeks." 
"Awww, come on Scully. I feel new. Your hand hurts like hell, but hey I feel new." He replied. 
She took a deep breath. "I have an idea. What if we got another Voodoo person to break the curse?" She asked. 
"Nope. Can't happen." He said. 
"Why?" 
"Because the only way to break a curse is to have the original person break it for you." He answered. 
"Oh damn!" She said. 
"Besides your mom called and asked you to dinner tonight." He said. 
"Did you talk to her?" She asked. 
"Nope left a message on the machine...By the way you are out of bubble bath." He answered. 
"Ok. I'll go pick some up." 
"Hey Scully." 
"Yes Mulder?" 
"Skinner called you today. He wanted to check up on you." He answered with a big smile. 
"He did?" 
"Yep. I think I'm in a bit of a competition with him. But I know you better than he does." Mulder replied. 
There was silence. "Mulder, I'll see you at work tomorrow." She said. 
"Sure. Want me to call your mom for you?" 
"NO!!! I'll do that when we get back to ourselves." She answered. 
"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." 
"Bye Mulder." 
'Mulder' hung up the phone and sat back on the couch. 
She put her head back and started to laugh. "What if my period comes earily?" She asked herself. "OMG! Do I tell the slap happy guy? Nah, I want him to at least have cramps." 
She sat up and got another book and started to read it, smiling as she though about how Mulder was going to react when it started. Then she started to laugh "The Gyno.". 
She stood up and did a little dance. "Oh, how I want to be a fly on the wall in that room." 

'Scully' got her clothing for work and sat it out. 'She has such great legs, I think I'll show them off a bit.' He thought and placed the skirt suit on the door knob. 
He went back into the living room dancing and singing to "Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel" 

~~~~~"Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel"--Tavares..1970-something.~~~~~

Monday, 'Scully' strutted into the building with a smile on her face and being cheerful. 
All the other Agents looked at her strangely. 
He stepped into the elevator and pressed basement. 
When it reached the basement, he got off and walked to unlock his office door. 
He stepped in and sat in his seat propping her legs up on the desk, getiing a file and kicking back to read it. 
'Mulder' walked in. "Why are you wearing that skirt set?" She asked. 
"Because it looks good on you." He replied. 
"Listen dumb a$$, did you look at it carefully?" She asked. 
"No why?" 
"I had an accident with bleach. It's on the left side where you can see it." She said. 
"Where?" He asked and lookd down. "Oops." 
She shook his head. "Give me my car keys." She said. 
He handed her the car keys and she left the office. 
"Now why didn't I see that?" He asked herself. 
He sat back down and waited. 
She came in with a pair of black slacks. "Here, put these on." She said and handed them to him. 
"Sorry." He said and went to the back part of the office and put them on. 
The phone rang and she picked it up. "Sculder. Sorry, Mulder." 
She handed him the phone, it's for me." She said. 
He walked over and took the phone from her. "Scully." His face went white. "Thanks." 
"What?" She asked. 
"They moved my appointmet up to tomorrow." He said. 
She lit up. "They did?" She asked. 
"Scully, I do not want to go and do this." he said. 
"If you are going to be me..You have to." She replied. 
He sat down and looked at himself. "We need to get back to our bodies." He said. 
She slapped his forehead with his palm. "WELL DUH!!!" She said. "What do you think I've been telling you for the past few days?" 
He looked up at himself and felt bad suddenly. "I don't feel well." He said. "I feel like a drank too much water." 
'Holy s*it!' Sully thought as she reached over and got the calendar and counted the days. 'Well, this is going to be interesting.' She thought as she watched herself go out of the office and head for the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~My take on the 'PMS' revenge~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
'Scully' came back. 
"Feeling bad?" She asked. 
"I feel quite different." He replied and sat down. 
'Mulder' walked over and opened the desk drawer. "Here." 
He looked at himself as he pulled out a bottle of Mydol. "Take two of these." 
He took it in her hand. "Ah, Mydol..Strong enough for a man but made to control a woman from killing him." He said opening the bottle. 
"Mulder, do not drink caffene with it." She said. 
"Why?" 
"You will be bouncing off the walls." She said. 
"Yeah right." he said and tossed them back with a soda. 
She rolled his eyes and wathed him carefully. 
She shook his head and went about reading cases and files. 
A few hours passed and 'Scully' was feeling a bit drowsy. 
The phone rang and 'Mulder' answered it. "Mulder." She looked over at herself and clenched his jaw. 
"Mulder, Skinner wants to see us." 
'Scully' Stood up and walked to the elevator. 
They got off on Skinner's floor and walked into his office. 
"Mulder' and 'Scully' sat in front of Skinner as he went over the police report. "Agent Scully, all you need to do is sign here and the suspect will be charged with sexual assult." He said. 
'Scully' signed the repirt and sat back. 
His secretary opened the door and walked in and started to talk to him. 
'Scully' started to droop and pop her head up and down. 
Finally, 'Mulder' turned and 'Scully' slid out of the chair and under the desk.
"MULDER!!" She yelled moving the chair out of the way and picking herself up. 
Skinner and his secretary ran to carry 'Scully' to the couch. 
"What happened?" Skinner asked. 
"He-She took a pain killer." She said loking at him. 
'Mulder' picked up her head. "Scully?" She asked feeling wierd calling her own name. 
'Scully' was in a deep sleep by this time. 
Skinner walked over and covered her with his jacket. "Let her stay here and sleep it off." He said. 
'Mulder' got up and took off her shoes. "I'll check up on her later." She said looking at herself passed out on the couch. 
She walked out of Skinner's office and down the hall. 'Man can't handle the Mydol.' She thought and smiled to hereslf. 

A few hours later, 'Scully' woke up and looked around. "Where am I?" He asked. 
"Agent Scully? I see you are awake now." Skinner said walking towrds him. 
"What happened?" He asked sitting up. 
"You passed out from a pain killer." He said. "Was your hand hurting?" 
'Scully's' eyes got wide as he picked up her hand and looked at it. "Uh-yeah. I think I should have taken half a dose." He said. 
Skinner was quiet then looked at her. "You can take the rest of the day off if you like." He said. 
"No, I'm fine." He said getting up and looking for her shoes. 
He found them and put them on. "I better get back to Sc-er I mean Mulder." He said walking to the door. 
She placed his hacket on his desk and tripped walkng backwards out of the office. 
He shut the door and leand on it. 
Skinner's secretary looked at him. 
"PMS." He said. 
She smiled. "I understand." She said and went back to work. 
'Scully' walked to the elevator and went down to the basemnet. 

'Mulder' paced around the office reading about 'Male sexuality' when 'Scully' came in. 
"Hey Mulder, how are you?" She asked. 
"I have no idea how I feel. I feel weak, tired, irritated, bloated, and I have this urge to drink a soda with a candy bar..A Coca-Cola and a Milky Way..Frozen." He said. 
"PMS. Then when you 'do start'." She said putting his fingers in quotations. "You will be so wanting to have sex you won't believe it." 
He looked up at himself. "When will I actualy start?" He asked. 
"A few days to a week." She said sitting down with a cheezy smile on her face. 
He sat in his seat and looked at her. "Do you feel this way 'all' the time?" He asked. 
"Just 11 days out of the week. Why?" She asked. 
He sat looking at her. "I feel like S*it. And your boobs hurt." 
She leaned in. "Welcome to the club." She said and sat back wathing her make an uncomfortable face.

***********Puts on Anti-Flame Suit..Sorry guys.********************** 

'Scully' felt bad all day. 
'Mulder' sat in front of herself. "Tomorrow at the doctor's, just let them do everything." She said. 
'Scully' looked at himself. "Let them do everything?" He asked. "What exactly are they going to do?" He snapped at himself. 
"Mulder, calm down." 
"Calm down? I feel like crap and you tell me to calm down?" He said tearing up. "You don't care." 
'Mulder' watched herself start to cry. 
"These shoes kill me, these pants are too tight, Skinner has the hots for me, I feel awful, it's hot in here, I have an uncontrolable urge to scratch my eyes out and you want me to calm down?" He said. 
'Mulder' just looked at herself and handed him a tissue. 
He grabbed one and blew her nose. 
"Go home Mulder." She said. 
"I will." He replied and walked out of the office. 
'Stage one.' She said putting the tissues back on the top shelf. 

'Scully' took a shower and got dressed. 
He looked in the mirror and tried to fix her hair but couldn't and started to cry. He then wiped his eyes and attempted to put make up on. He got to the mascara then just tossed it across the dresser. "Forget it." He said and walked over and put on her shoes and went to the door. 
He opened it and saw himself. "What do you want?" He asked rather rudely. 
"To take you to the doctor." She said. 
"Great! The doctor!" He said. 
"Why didn't you fix myself up?" She asked. 
He looked at her. "Have you ever tried to put make up on felling like crap?" He asked. 
"My whole life." She answered getting the hair brush. 
He stood still while she brushed her hair and fixed herself up a bit. 
"There. Now let's go to the doctor's." She said. 
'Scully' took a deep breath and follwed himself out the door to his car and got in. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~PG 13 The Gyno~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
'Scully' was handed a hospital gown. "Take everything off." The nurse said and left the room. 
'Oh man' he thought and took off her clothes. 
He put the gown on and sat up on the 'chair'. 'Please let this go by fast.' He thought waiting. 
His heart started beating as the doorknob turned and the door opened. 
"Dana Scully?" The doctor asked. 
"Yes." He answered. 
"How are you today?" She asked. 
"Fine." He answered. 
He watched as she put down the file and turn to him. 
"Lay back please." She said. 
'Scully' was a bit afraid. He had no idea what was going to happen next. 
The doctor opened the front of her gown and began the breast exam. 
He squinted when she pressed hard to find anything. 
"Ok." She said. "I didn't feel anything, but I want you to have a mommogram when we are done." 
"Ok." He said quietly. 
The doctor covered her up and walked over to write something down, washed her hands, then dried them. 
She got a pair of gloves and put them on. "Hand me a new one, I don't like the way this looks." She told her assistant. "Ok, slide all the way down." 
He did what he was told to do. 
"Ok just relax." She said. 
He sucked in air and tensed up. "Dana, relax, I'm almost done." 
He bit her lip and 'tried' to relax. 
"There. Done." She said throwing away her equipment and snapping off her gloves. "You can sit up now and get dressed. Then we can have you go across the hall to get the mammogram." 
He watched her leave and looked at the door. 'Ok, that was not fun.' he thought and got to her feet. 
He walked over, took off the gown and got dressed. 
He walked out and was greeted by the doctor's assistant. "This way please." She said. 
He followed her to a room. 
"I need for you to get undresed again and put his on." She said. 
He did what he was told and waited. 
She walked him over and pushed his back straight up and placed a breast on a plastic surface. She then pushed a button and squeezed the brest as flat as it would go. "Don't move." She said and walked behind a screen "Take a deep breath." 
He took a deep breath and she took two shots a few moments apart. 
She came back, lifted the machine off her breast and did the other side. 
He was on the verge of tears on this one. 
She came back and let the breast go. "That's it." She said. "You can get dressed now. 
She left and closed the door behind her. 
He walked over and put her clothes on massaging the pain out of Scully's breasts. 
He walked out and went up to himself. 
"How did it go?" She asked. 
He didn't say a word, and walked out of the office. 
She bit his lip and followed herself out the door.

'Scully' walked to the car door and opened it. He slowly sat inside the car on the chair. 
'Mulder' got in and looked atherself. "What's wrong?" 
"They smashed your boobs, and it hurt." He said putting on the seatbelt. 
She put on his and looked again at herself. "Does..." 
"YES!" He snapped at himself then leaned her head against the window. 
She started the car and drove back to Headquarters. 

'Mulder' watched herself get pale and lean foward. 
"What's wrong?" She asked. 
"Are you supposed to hurt after you do that?" He asked. 
"Where do you hurt?" She asked. 
"Your lower back, stomach, and inner thighs." He answered. 
"Oh, those are cramps." She said. 
"I've had cramps and I never felt them like this." He said. 
"Mulder, these are mentral cramps. They go away when they want to." She said. 
He wrapped her arms around her stomach and bent over. 
"Let me give you half a dose of Mydol." She said and walked out of the office. She came back and took out the bottle and gave him half with the bottle of water she got. 
He drank it, and threw it up a few moments later. 
"That bad." She said. 
He was bent over the trash can. He sat up a few moments later, and felt her legs shake. He then started to rock back and forth in his chair. 
'Mulder' got up and went to the back of the office and cleared and area. She layed his jacket down and walked back to herself and helped him lay on the jacket. 
She walked back to her chair and picked up a file, watching him curl up in the fetal position. 
She felt bad for him, this was his first time he experienced this. 

A few hours later, he got up and sat in his chair. 
"Still feeling bad?" She asked. 
He nodded her head yes. 
"Let's go home." She said standing up. 
She walked over and helped herself get up and walk out of the office. 
"I'll folow you to my apartment." She said and got inhis car and followed her car to her apartment. 
'Scully' parked and got out. 
He walked into the building and up to her door and unlocked it. 
'Mulder' showed up a few moments later and walked in behind him. 
He took off her jacket and shoes and went to lie down on the bed. 
'Mulder' shut and locked the door behind her and took off his jacket and shoes and layed beside him. 
"Why does it hurt?" He asked quietly? 
She put his arms around herself. "I don't know." She answered quietly. "I'm a doctor and still don't know." 
He rubbed against his chest and fell asleep with Scully awrapped around him.


'Mulder' got up and went into the bathroom and searched for *pads*. 'These will be easier for him to use.' She thought looking at them. She looked up tinto the mirror and stared at Mulder's face. "Him to use?" She said and started to laugh then quickly covered her mouth to keep quiet. 
She peeked around the corner to see him still asleep on the bed. 
She put the pads on the counter and turned off the light and walked into the livingroom, laying down on the couch. 

'Scully' woke up and walked into the bathroom and got undressed and started the shower. 
He stood under the hot water, relaxing and letting the water run down her face. 
He reaced for the soap and began to wash. 
He got the shampoo and washed her hair. 'I can't believe the only way I can wash her hair is to be her.' He thought. 
He stepped out and dried off and noticed the *pads* on the counter. 'Oh good god no.' He thought looking at them. 
He took a deep breath and read the directions on the outside. 
He dried off and put on her bra and underwear and put the pad on. 'HA! And I bet she thought I'd put it on upside down.' He thought and sipped the underwear on and finished getting dressed. 
He stepped out of the bathroom and walked to put on a pair of shoes and stepped into the livingroom. 
He walked over to himself and knelt down. "Scully." He said. 
She woke up looking at him. "Feeling better?" She asked. 
"Sort of." He answered. "How long will this thing last?" 
She sat up and looked at herself. "4 days." She answered. 
"That's it?" He asked. 
"Yeah. I used to be a week." She replied. 
He stood up and walked to the kitchen to get some tea. 
She ran his hands over his face and looked at the tv screen. "Mulder, I think I know how to get us back." 
'Scully' came walking into the livingroom. "How?" He asked. 
She turned and looked at herself. "We need to go back to the library." She said. 
He shifted her thighs to get the pad fitted right. "Let's go then." He said. 
She got up and walked out of her apartment. 
He put on her coat and walked out. 
She walked passed him and got 2 more pads and walked out of the apartment. 
"Sorry." He said. 
"Not a problem." She replied and got into the car. 
He sat down feeling a bit better but still bad. 
She sat in the driver's seat and started the car and drove to the library. 
"Scully, thanks for staying with me last night." He said. 
"Your first time..It's the worst." She replied with a smile. 
He smiled back and watched the cars go by.

They walked into the libray with 'Scully' shifting her legs to get her underwear straight. 
'Mulder' went up to the Non-Fiction section and looked around: black magic, Voodoo, Spells and curses...She pulled out each one and walked to a table. he placed them down and went over to the 'religion' section and pulled out several books on Catholic Curses. 
"Catholic Curses?" He asked. 
"Yes, if done the right way, you can use the power of the Faith to plant a curse." She said. 
"Marie Laveau." he said. 
"Who?" She asked looking at herself. 
He shifted in her seat. "She was a Voodoo Queen. She was respected and feared by the Cathloic Church." He answered. 
'Mulder' flipped the pages and found a section on her and read it. "Mulder, go get me her bio." 
He stood up and pulled out her underwear from her pants. 'I don't believe he just did that.' She thought looking at herself. 
He looked around and found it and walked back to the table and handed it to himself. 
"So?" He asked. "What are you looking for?" 
She smiled. "I think I found it." 
He looked over and read a chapter: Soul switching. 
"How did this person get something personal of ours to do that though?" She asked. 
'Scully's' eyes lit up. "What's the one thing we use for DNA other than skin and blood?" He asked. 
She turned to herself. "HAIR." They said at the same time. 
"But the thing is, how do we get back?" She asked. "Whoever placed the curse had to have said something, for us to say somthing, to get us back." 
He looked at himself. "Let's go. I think I have an idea." He said. 
They got up and put the books back and left the library. 
"What is it?" she asked herself. 
"You'll see." He replied and got into the car. 
'What's he got planned? Oh god no. No-no-no-no-no I'm not having sex with him. Ohh, Ick!!' She thought as she sat in his car. 
She looked at herself and started the car. "Where to?" She asked. 
"Back to your apartment." He answered and sat back. 
'My apartment?' She sook his head and headed for her apartment.

~~~~~~Ok, gross but true stuff coming up. Beware!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
'Mulder' pulled into her parking spot and turned off the car. "Ok. What do you have in mind?" She asked. 
"We need to go inside and discuss this." He said. 
She sighed and got out of the car. 
He got out and stood up. 
He stood making a face. 
"What?" She asked. 
"I just felt a rush of something warm run out of me." He said. 
"Oh, you get used to that." She said walking to the door. 
He closed the door and followed himself. 
They walked into the apartment, 'Scully' still making a face, and sat on the couch. 
"Ok, what?" She asked. 
He sat for a moment, too afraid to stand up. "We need to talk about things that happened and how it affected us." He said. 
"Like what?" 
"Everything, how we felt about it and stuff, maybe admitting to something will switch us back." He said. 
She sat back and started to think. 
He got up and walked to the desk for a note pad. 
"MULDER!" She said sitting up. 
"What?" 
"You soaked through." 
He stood looking at her. "What?" 
She got up. "You need to change your pad." She replied. 
His face when white. "Please tell me you're joking." He said. 
"No. You need to." She answered. 
He walked to the bathroom. 
"Wait." She said and ran ahead of him. She pulled out some baby wipes. "Use these." She said. 
He looked at himself. 
She walked out and he shut the door behind himself. 
He undid the zipper and sat down. 
He felt his lunch come up as he changed. 
He put on a fresh pad and tossed the used one in the trash. 
He then got up and put on the underwear. 
Right before he zipped up the zipper, he had to pee. 
He poulled down the pants and sat down. 
The creepy feeling came back as he sat there. 
"How can they go through this?" He asked himself. 
He reached over and got the baby wipes and wiped himself off and threw them in the trash can. 
He got another one and flushed the toilet. 'I don't want to look in there.' He thought. 
He stood up and picked up the underwear and pants. 
He washed her hands real good and walked outside. 
"That was the grossest thing I had ever experienced." He said. 
"Really? Not even when you stuck your hand into that blob of Bile from Eugene Tooms?" She asked. 
He looked at himself and pointed her finger at himself. "That was different." He said. 
She smiled. "Come on Mulder. Let's admit to things to see if it will snap us back to ourselves." She said. 
He sat down and looked at himself and smiled.	
'Mulder' got comfortable then got up. 
"What?" He asked. 
"I need the bathroom." She said and went to her room. 
She shut the door and lifted the seat up and unzipped his pants. 
She stood for a few moments the looked down to see how neatly he wrapped the used pad. 
She didn't realize what she was doing until.... 
'Scully' stood when he heard a yelp. He ran to the bathroom door. "Are you ok?" He asked. 
'Mulder' was bouncing trying not to cry or let him know that she did something wrong. 
"Scully?" 
"I'm fine Mulder." She said with tears running down is cheeks. 
"Ok." He answered and went back to sit down. 
She walked over and got a pair of scissors and cut the hair that she had cought in his zipper. 
Then she slowly un did the zipper and breathed deeply trying to let the pain pass. 
5 min later, 'Scully' came to the door. "Are you sure you are alright?" 
"Yes, I just needed to do something in here." She answered. 
"Oh ok." He replied and waited til she came out. 
She washed his face trying to get the 'crying look' out. 
'Poor Mulder.' She thought looking at his reflection. 
She dried his face and walked out. "What?" She asked. 
"You better not be doing what I think you are doing." He answered. 
"Oh that's so sick." She said. 
"Why is that so sick? Have you even tried it?" He asked. 
She turned and looked at him. "No, but I'll be sure to get some magizines with Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise on the cover and go for it." She answered. 
"Ewwww! No! I don't want my-to be-NO! EWWW!" He said covering her ears. 
She sat on the couch and looked at herself talkling to herself. 
"Mulder, what's this plan you have?" She asked after a few moments. 
He looked at himself. "Oh yeah, that." He said and walked over and sat beside himself. 
He got comfortable and started to talk when the phone rang. 
He growled and reached over and picked it up. "Scully." 
He ran her and through her hair. "Yes sir, I'm on my way." He said and hung the phone up. 
"What was that about?" She asked. 
Just then his phone rang. "That." He answered. 
"Mulder." She said answering the phone. "Yes sir, on my way." 
"Let's go." He said getting up. 
She cleared his throat. "Pants?" 
"Oh yeah." He said and went into the closet. 
"Get black." She shouted. 
He pulled out a pair of black slacks and took off the ones he had on, and put on the black ones. 
"Ready?" He asked. 
"Yeah." She replied and walked out of her apartment, not knowing what he had planned to get them back to their original bodies.

'Mulder' and 'Scully' sat before Skinner. 
"I think you two need some time apart." He said. 
Fear gripped them both at the same time. 
'Scully' leaned in a bit. "Sir do you think that's wise? I mean right now?" He asked. 
"Why? You two planning something I don't know about?" Skinner asked. 
'Scully' sat back. "No sir." He said. 
"Good. I want you two to go to different meetings." He said handing them their files. 
"Mulder, you will go to the Missing childrens group and Scully will go to the FBI medical group. I think they may like you there Agent Scully." Skinner said. 
They took the files and looked at Skinner. 
"Dismissed." He said. 
They stood up and walked out the door. 
They got into the elevator and 'Mulder' hit 'Scully' "Now what?" She asked as the door closed. 
"Let me think." 'Scully' said. 
"Oh now we are going to be like this forever." She said. 
'Scully' gave himself a snarl. 
"Wait!" He said and looked up at himself. "I love you." 
Two Agents behind them raised both eyebrows at them. 
"You what?" She asked. 
"I love you." He answered. 
She looked down at herself and shook her head. She noticed the look in her own eyes and smiled. "I love you too." 
The Agents were now dumbfounded at what they heard. 
Right before the elevator stopped, he looked up. "Nothing?" 
"Nah nothing." she answered. 
"Well it was worth a try." He said stepping off the floor. 
She took a deep breath and followed herself. 
"I think they have been working together a bit too long." One Agent said. 
"No, I think she's rubbed off of him a little too much." The other replied. 
The doors shut and they went bct to the floor they were supposed to got off of. 

"Scully, I can't go to this medical thing." He said. 
"Well I can't go to this Missing child thing." She replied. 
"Want to switch?" He asked. 
"Why not? We've switched bodies why not cases?" She answered. 
They switched files and went to their cars and drove to their destinations.

'Mulder' walked into the room and looked around. 
"Can I help you?" A lady asked. 
"Yes, I'm Agent Mulder. I'm here to take Agent Scully's place." She said. 
"I see." She said. "Well take a few pamflets and sit down in a seat." 
She did what she was tolds and sat down. She glanced around and saw the most goregous guy. 'Wow." She thought and searced for a ring. 'Not married.' She watched him sit down and realized he was looking at her funny. 'F*ck! I'm Mulder.' She then played it off by looking at the chalk board. 
The guy looked at the chalk board then 'Mulder' and sat down. 
'I need to be more careful.' She thought. But the way te guy looked had her thinking very bad thoughts. 
The class started and she wrote down different things that she already knew about. 
She finally looked up at the guy during the break and had a 'private' thought. She shifted in her seat felling very uncomfortable. She closed her eyes and reached between her legs. 'Oh God not again!' She thought to herself. She sat in the seat the whole class time, desperately needing to use the bathroom. 'Think about something bad. Parents having sex, no. Grandparents having sex.' That seemed to calm her down a bit to where she could relax. 
At the last break, she got up and went to use the bathroom. She stood over the toilet for what seemed to be forever and carefully zipped up and went to wash his hands. She dried them and walked out. 
"Just one more hour then it's over." She heard and smiled. She went back to her seat and got ready to finish the class. 

'Scully' walked into her seminar and took in everything there was to know about missing children. He sat down and wrote all the information down and looked to see a guy looking at him. 'Oh no.' He thought as he looked at him. He smiled and went back to writing things down. When the first break happened, they guy came up to him and handed him a glass of juice. 
"Hi." he said. 
'Scully' smiled. "Hi." 
"This your first time here?" He asked. 
"Not really, I came to one once before." He answered taking a sip of the juice. 
"Oh, ok." They guy replied. "Would you like to go to dinner?" 
"Excuse me?" 
"Dinner." 
"No thanks." He said and walked over and sat down. 
"Listen, you are the first woman I've seen in a long time that is really nice to look at." He saidtouching her arm. 
"I'm a Federal Agent. You touch me again, I'll areest you." 'Scully' said. 
He stepped back and noticed a few people looking at them. "Sorry." He said and walked away. 
He took adeep breath and sat back in the seat. 'Poor Scully.' He thought. 'She does have plenty of problems as a woman.' 
The class started again and he continued to take notes. 

'Mulder' left the classroom and walked to his car. 
He sat in it and looked around. 'Thank god no one saw that.' She thought and started the car. She pulled out and drove home. 

'Scully' finished up and walked to her car and got in. 'Still can't beieve I got hit on.' He thought and started the car. He pulled out and drove to her apartment. 

Sitting on his couch, she put everything in order to fill out a report for Skinner. 'Only getting back to ourselves was this easy.' She thought placing one paper on top of another. 
She stopped when thephone rand and got up aot answer it. "Hello." 
"Hello me." He said. "How did the seminar go?" 
"Ok. Can I ask you something?" 
"Sure go ahead." He said. 
"Does your uh-um-uh do things he's not supposed to do?" She asked. 
"Oh yeah, he has a mind of his own. Why? Did he stand at attention?" 
She was quiet. 
"AHHHHHH! HE DID!!!! With whom? HUH? HUH?" He asked. 
"A cute guy." She said quietly. 
"EEWWWW! SCULLY! That's so gross! Oh ick. My-uh for a guy? Oh ick!" He said. 
'Mulder' started to laugh. 
"That's not funny." He said. 
"At the time it wasn't but not it is." She said. 
"Scully." 
"Yes?" 
He hung the phone up on her making her laugh even more. 
He looked at the reciever. "That is so gross." He said. He put the phone down and went to the kitchen to pour himself a drink.

'Mulder' got up and got ready for bed. She put on his pajamas and layed down and covered herself. 
She snuggled in and fell asleep. 
She started to smile when the dream came to her: She was herself on the beach with the guy she saw at the seminar. He walked up to her and volenterred to put sunscreen on. She put her head foward and he rubbed the oil on her..All over her. He undid her top and started to rub her chest. She layed on the blanket fo him to get her entire back. She rolled over and he poured oil on her stomach and rubbed it in, then he moved down to her legs and feet. She squirmed on the towel as he did this. She then rolled on her stomach and felt a piece of tree barh on her stomach. She then sat up and looked at the guy who ran away screaming. She looked down at herself and..Woke up. 
She sat up in Mulder's bed and tried to catch her breath. She pulled the blanket back and sat the Solidier standing at attention. "GO AWAY!" She yelled. She got out of bed and went to take a cold shower. 

'Scully' changed her pad once more and went to bed. He layed down and got comfortable. "Oh Scully. I enjoy being you but I really love being with you." He said before falling asleep. 

'Mulder' crawled back into bed and sat up for a while. She shook his head. "I hate this." She said. "I really do." 
She slid down the sheets and covered herself. "No more dreams." She said and fell asleep. 

'Scully' was in the office when 'Mulder' showed up. 
"Gee, I look like hell." He said. 
She smarled at herself. 
"Why do I look like that?" He asked. 
"I don't know. Ask your parents." She snapped. 
He smiled at himself. "I know what happened. You had a dream didn't you?" He asked. 
She sat down. 
"You did!" He ran around the desk and hopped up on it. "Tell me." 
She looked at herself. "It had to do with a man." She replied. 
"Me?" He asked with her eyebrows up. 
"No.." She answered. "A guy I saw at the seminar." 
He hopped off and waved her hands in front of her. "I don't want to know." 
She licked his lips. "Don't worry I was me." She replied. 
"Really?" He asked. 
"Yep. In a two piece." She answered. 
"Go on." He said sitting beside himself. 
She looked at herself. "No more." 
"Plese go on." He begged. "I want to know why my-uh kept you up. So to speak." 
"No!" She said. 
"Fine." He said and got up pulling out a weegie. 
"Stop that!" She said. 
"Sorry." He replied sitting down in his chair. 
They sat reading reports. 

Shaking his head was Skinner. 'Very bizarre' he thought and walked up the stairs with a case he had frogotten to give to them.

Skinner stoped halfway up the stairs and looked back. He shook his head and walked back to Mulder's office. 'Whatever they are up to..It's their problem.' He thought and knocked on the doorway. 
"Sir, what can we do for you?" 'Mulder' asked. 
Skinner walked in and handed them a file. "I need for you two to go undercover for a while." He said. 
'Scully' took the file and read it. "You sure about this?" She asked. 
"Yes." he answered and walked to the door. "And when you are done with this case. I want you two to take a vacation." 
They looked at each other and continued to read the file. "I can't do this." She said. 
"Oh I know I can." He replied. 
She shook his head and walked to the door. "Let's get this over with." 
He walked over to himself. "So-uh baby face.." 
She stopped and looked at herself. "Don't start." 
He started to laugh. "Sorry, but I already did." 
"Mulder..." 
"Ok. Ok. Lover.." 
"Quit!" 
"Oh honey I love it when you get mad at me." He whispered walking to the elevator. 
She didn't say a word as they boarded the elevator. 
They got off and headed to the car. 
As they passed a few Agents, 'Scully' pinched 'Mulder's' behind. 
"Oh boy am I ever firm back there. Uh-huh." He said. 
She turned and pointed a finger at herself. "You are lucky we are on this case. Because if we were not.." She said. 
"What?" He asked stepping close and putting his finger in her mouth and sucked on it. 
"Oh! EW!!!" She said pulling it out of her mouth and drying it on his coat. 
He smiled. "Come on, this is the first and probably the only time we get to be 'Lovers'." He said. 
"Mulder, you are so lucky I love my body so much. Because I'm going to sleep on the couch." She said. 
"So 'I' get the bed?" He asked. 
"No my body does." She answered. "If you were in your body, you still will be on the couch." 
They got into his car. "You know Scully. This is a retreat. I think you need some real nice clothes." He said. 
"I have nice clothes." She answered. 
"Yeah right. The only 'daring' thing I have on are the lace underwear. I mean who sees those? Other than me?" He asked. 
She started the car and pulled out. 
He continued to read. "OHHH!" He said making her lips completely round. "They have 'stripping' classes." 
"No Mulder." 
"Why not? I could learn a few steps or two." He said. 
She slumped in his seat. 
"Scully, relax. We can deal with our problem while we are on this case. OK?" 
She nodded his head. 
"Good. Hey they even have a cooking class." He said with a smile. "Horseback riding, tennis, swimming, canoeing, and hiking." 
"I'd like to try horseback riding." She said. 
He looked at himself and saw a relaxed look. "Hey Scully, even massages. I think that is a must for us." He said. 
She turned off into the road and drove up her street. "Pack several sweaters please." She said stopping his car. 
"I will." He replied. 
"I'll pick you up in an hour." She said. 
"Uh! But I need to get ready." He whined. 
"Mulder..." 
"Ok. Bye lover." He said giving himself the dreamy eyed look. 
She rolled his eyes and waited til he shut the door and left. 
He was bouncing to invisible music. "Scully's gonna sleep with me." He said walking into her apartment.

'What to pack, what to pack.' He thought looking in the closet. He pulled out several articles of clothing and layed it on the bed. He switched clothes around matching shirts and pants. "This will work." He said and opened her underwear drawer. He picked out matching undies to go with the clothes. 
He spun and picked up the suitcase and carefully folded her clothes and placed them into the suitcase. He walked to the bathroom and got her toothbrush, toothpaste, and bubble bath. He turned to her make up and put everything into a bag and walked back to the suitcase and put it in. 
"Scull-ee! That's me. Scull-EEEEEE! That's me." He sang getting a jacket and placing it into the suitcase. "Oh please be with me..Scull-EEEEEEE!" He did a little dance and zipped up the suitcase. 
"I once was a man, now I'm a chick. Minus the Whoa!!! Scull-eee please be with me. Scull-eee!" 
He sang the tune the rest of the time he got herself ready for the case. 

'Horseback riding. Sounds like fun.' She thought packing his bag. 'I just hope that he keeps my hands to himself.' 
She packed several pairs of jeans and t-shirts. She shearched his closet for shoes and found a pair of boots. She packed them with the rest of the clothes and out on the leather jacket. She picked up the suitcase and walked to the living room. She turned and went back into the bedroom and got a pair of slacks and a shirt and went into the bathroom and got his toothbrush, toothpaste, and brush. "There." She said and walked over and unzipped the suitcase and put the stuff in and zipped it up. 
She picked it up and walked out the door. She dragged it to the elevator and got on. 'Let's get this case over with.' She tought as the doors closed. 

'Scully' was sitting at the table eating chocolate fudge browine ice cream, reading the case when her phone rang. 
She put the spoon in the container and walked to the phone. "Hello?" 
"Mulder, it's me. I'm on my way to my apartment." She said. 
"Ok, I'm ready." He replied. 
"Did you pack a sweater?" She asked. 
"Why?" 
"Because it gets cold and..." 
"Oh yeah, that happens when I get out of the shower." He said. "Interesting." 
"MULDER!" 
"What? I'm just observing your body that's all." He said. 
"I'll be there in a while." 
"Bye." He said and hung up the phone. 
He walked over and sat in front of the icecream. "If theat didn't piss her off, this surely will." He said slowly licking the ice cream off the spoon. 

Within a few moments, there was a knock on the door. "Hark! I hear my other half at the door!" he said and got up and answered it. 
"What is that on your lips?" She asked. 
"Uh-Lipstick." He answered. 
"YOU ARE EATING ICE CREAM!" She yelled. 
"Just a little bit." He said. 
She saw that the 1/2 gallon was half gone. "You said you would take care of my body." She said. 
"I know, I just got a craving for this." He replied. "Sorry." 
"You are going to go on that hiking trip everyday til we solve this case. Got it?" She said pointing his finer onto her shoulder. 
"I got it. Work out. I can do that." he said putting the ice cream up. 
"Shall we go?" He asked himself. 
"Yes." She said with a hiss. 
"Oh, ME-OW." He replied with a smile and passed her. He picked up the suitcase and stood at the door. "Ready?" 
She walked up to the door and opened it. "Yes." 
He walked ahead of her and out to the car. 
She smiled as she placed the bag into the trunk. "Scully." 
"Yes?" 
"Will you marry me?" He asked. 
"Oh get bent." She said and got into the car. 
He got into the car and smiled at himself. "Hey, at least it wasn't a "NO"." He said. 
She glared at him and started the car. 
He put her hands to her cheek. "Could it be? My body having PMS?" He asked. 
"Shut up Mulder." She said and peeled out of the driveway. 
He sat back with a smile on her face. 'This is going to be fun.'

'Mulder' pulled into the airport and got out. 
"Scully, uh-you need to carry the suitcases." he said with a smile. 
She walked over to herself and picked up her suitcase and carried it to be taged and checked in. 
'Scully' smiled as he followed himself past security holding out their badges and walking to the terminal. "So uh, we sharing a bed?" He whispered. 
"No." She answered. 
"I see, do you know what kind of place we are going to?" He asked again. 
"No. Where?" She asked. 
"It's a retreat for troubled couples on the verge of breaking up." He answered. 
"You have got to be kidding me." She said quite loudly. 
'Scully' made a sad face. "Why are you yelling at me for? All I ever wanted to do was love you." He said with a southern whine. 
"Stop it!" She said through his teeth. 
"You gotta accept that your daughter looks like your brother. Even though she's yours." He said wiping face tears from her face. 
"Mulder!" 
"I mean, just because my daddy pointed a shot gun at you just to get you to admit you were the father..." 
"Enough!" She said through gritted teeth. 
"Momma is hoping we can get our selves together, for the baby's sake." He said. 
'Mulder' looked around to see everyone stare at them. 
She leaned in. "You are so dead." She whispered. 
'Scully' sniffled and looked at himself. "I love you." He said. 
She rolled his eyes and sat back. 
"See? You won't even admit you love me, anymore. Did things go wrong when we had sex?" He asked. 
"Mulder." 
"Sorry to be putting this out in public. But daddy Walter wants us to be married one day." He said. 
They looked to see that the plane was boarding. They got up and everyone watched 'Mulder' as she walked onto the plane. 
They sat down and she turned to herself. "Did you have fun?" She asked. 
"Yeah." He whispered. 
"Good." She said and stood up when the plane was full. 
"Can I have your attention please? It seems that you all are looking at me like I was the bad person, but you haven't heard her side." She said. 
"Scully." He said pulling at her. 
"It seems that she DID sleep with my brother and then me. She then got daddy Walter to get the shotgun after me and piont it at my. Ahem, family treasures. So I had to admit it was my child. As for marrage? No way would I marry her until she tells daddy Walter that the baby is in fact my brother's. End of story." She said and sat down. 
"Make me look bad? I can make you look worse." She said. 
"Uh-Scully? You just made yourself a slut." He whispered. 
He looked to see his face turn white and see her slump in the seat. "Mulder?" 
"Yes?" 
"I hate you." 
"Oh I hate you too." He said with a southern accent. 
They sat back and read the file one more time.

'Mulder' and 'Scully' were quiet the entire flight to their destination. 
When the lane landed, they slowly got up and watched as the other passengers looked at them. 
"I have never been so embarrassed in my life." She whispered getting his bag. 
"Not even when you went into the men's bathroom?" He asked quietly. 
She looked down at herself. "No." She answered. 
He smiled at her. 'This is going to be so much fun.' He thought as they went to rent out a car. 
'Mulder' signed for it and carried their bags out to the car. 
"I get to drive." He said. 
"No, the 'man' gets to and that is me." She said and got into the driver's seat. 
He pouted and sat in the passenger side. "Well, I truly hope this place gets us to work out our differences so we can be a couple." He said. 
"Mulder, we are here to find a murderer that's all nothing else." She replied. 
"Ok." He said looking at the case file. 
She started the car and pulled out, turned, and drove to the resort. 

He looked out the windows and saw the ocean on the right side of him as they drove north. 
She pulled up into a gas station and looked at a map. "This way." She said. 
"You sure? You are the 'man'." He said with a smile. 
"Mulder..." 
"I know, you hate me." He said and sat back. 
She put the car in gear and drove the rest of the way to the resort. 
They pulled into a gated area and went down the road passing lush green grass and trees. 
"Wow, it's pretty here." 'Mulder' said. 
'Scully' turned to see the horses running around in a field and a few people riding them. He smiled at that sight. 
She parked in a parking area and got out. 'Scully' got out also and looked around. 
"Mr. Mulder and Mrs.Scully?" A lady asked. 
"Yes?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"I thought you two would never make it here." She answered. "I'm Karen, I'm the only one here that knows you are FBI." 
"They nodded at her and walked to the trunk of the car. 
"I have your cabin ready." She said with a smile. "If you two need anything, just let me know." 
She waited til they got their bags out and walked into the huge building. They passed room after room and saw people hitting other people with pillows and screaming at eatch other. 
"What exactly is the purpose of this?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"To get regression out. Anger, sadnedd, things burried deep inside." Karen answered. 
They walked out to the back of the building and stepped out onto the porch. They saw several different cabins in rows. 
"Here's your key to your cabin. Number 5." Karen said. "Your first meeting is at 7pm tonight. Please be there." 
'Mulder' took the key and they walked to their cabin. "Couple's therapy? Do we really need that?" She asked. 
"Scully, from my standpoint, we are lucky we are not in an insane asylum." He said walking up to the cabin door. 
She took a deep breath and unlocked the door. She opened it and looked inside. "Great, one bed." She said. 
"Ohhh, one bed." He said stepping in and looking around. 
"You are not sleeping with me." She said. 
"Not sleeping with you?" He said loudly. 
She steppped and covered her mouth. "I will personally hurt myself to get you to be quiet." She whispered. 
'Scully's' eyes got wide with a smirk as he looked at himself. 
She stepped back and picked up his bag and un packed. 
"I get top dresser." He said sliding to the dresser. 
"Why?" 
He stood with her hands on her hips. "Because I am woman." He said with a smile. "GGRROOOOWWWLL!" 
She shook her head and neatly folded the jeans and put them into the bottom drawers making sure that she didn't let him see her laugh. 
"So, are we ready for our first meeting?" He asked. 
"What should we fight about?" She asked. 
He shrougged her shoulders. "Let's see what they argue about first then jump in." He answered. 
"Ok." She replied and walked to the main room and sat down and looked at all the other couples. 
"Scully?" He whispered. 
"Yes?" 
"All of these people have wedding bands on." He answered. 
She looked around. "Oh crap. Marrage counceling." She replied. 
They looked at each other and then at the other couples and smiled.

"Excuse me? Are you tow maried?" A woman asks. 
"No." 'Mulder' answered. 
"Oh, well then. The Engaged couples are in the room across the hall." She said with a smile. 
'Mulder' and 'Scully' got up and walked out of the room. 
"Engaged couples? Why would they need thereapy?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"I do not know." He answered. "But let's see what they are going to argue about." 
They walked into a room and was quickly stared at. 
"He did it." 'Scully' said. 
"Don't start." 'Mulder' whispered. 
"Did what?" A lady asked holding a notebook. 
"He doesn't understand women." He said. 
"I don't understand women?" She snapped back. 
"Ok, ok. Let's sit down and discuss this." She said standing up. "By the way, my name is Rachael." 
'Mulder' and 'Scully' sat in seats in a circle with the other couples. 
"Now, what seems to be the problem?" Rachael asked. 
"Just like she said, men don't understand women." One girl said. 
"RIGHT!" The women in the room shouted at the same time. 
"In what way do they not know women?" Rachael asked. 
"Well they never clean up after themselves." One woman said. 
"They leave the toothpaste top off." An other one said. 
"They always have the set up, so when you go in there at 2am you fall in." An other one said. 
"EEWWW!" The women said at the same time. 
"Ok. what about the women?" Rachael asked. 
"They expect us to baby them." One man said. 
"Yeah, why do they remember every stupid thing you do but forget to take the pill?" Another one asked. 
"RIGHT!" The men shouted. 
'Mulder' and 'Scully' looked at each other and then the group that was in an argument. 
They all got quiet when the whistle blew. 
"Enough." Rachael said. "Now, we will discuss this like adults and not like children." She said. 
"Since you two are new here, I suggest you tell us what your problems are." Rachael said looking at 'Mulder' and 'Scully'. 
"Well we've been together 6 years and never had sex." 'Scully' said. 
"Here we go." 'Mulder' said crossing his arms and sitting back. 
"We go all over the country and we always have to sleep in seperate rooms." He said. "Just once I wnat to know what it is like to sleep next to him." 
"Geeze man, even I sleep with my fiance." One man said. 
'Scully' leaned in. "We only went dancing one." He said nodding her head. "Remember? The Mutato thing?" 
'Mulder' looked at herself and was getting angry. "Really? How about the time you made out with that Phoebe Green? Huh? Or how about the blonde Sheriff in the hotel room? Shall I go on?" She asked. 
All the couples were now looking at 'Scully'. 
"Cool, a bi." One man said. 
"Oh shut up Robert." His girlfriend said. 
"Wait." Rachael said looking at 'Scully. "You made it with women also?" 
He sat up and straightened her shirt. "That's my personal business." He said. 
The room got quiet. 
"Ok then, let's get back to discussing what makes us erk about one another." Racheal said. 
'Scully' leaned in. "Before this assignment is over, you are going to be such a tramp." He whispered. 
"I truly hate you now." She whispered back. 
He reached over and grabbed his hand. She pulled away. "See? He won't even hold my hand." He said. 
"Dude have ever considered that you two are gay?" One man said. 
"I am not gay." 'Scully' said standing up. "I'm just a man trapped in a woman's body!" 
"Yeah, if you say so." Another man said. 
"Mulder, sit down." She whispered. 
"Well, I am." He replied. 
"I know you are, but they don't." She whispered. "Let's just sit here and be quiet. Ok?" 
"Fine." He answered. "Besides, Phoebe was a good kisser." 
She rolled his eyes and sat back observing the rest of the group.

When the group session was over, 'Mulder' and 'Scully' got up and walke dout of the rooma nd went back to their cabin. 
"I can't believe you said that." She said. 
"Well.." He replied. 
She unlocked the cabin door and they saw the room lightly lit with a chilled bottle of champagne on the table with fruits. 
"Ohhh, Scull-eeee!" He said walking over to the bottle and taking it out. He waved it in her hand "Wanna get drunk?" He asked. 
"Not in my body you don't." She said and walked to the bathroom and saw that it wad rose petals all over the floor and a note saying:~Just fill the tub with water and let your love go.~ She turned and walked back to hereslf and handed the note over. 
He took it in her hands and read it. "OHHYEAH!" He said taking off her shoes and walking to the bed then jumping on it on her knees. "Come on Scull-ee, just this once. I won't tell no one." 
She walked over and faced herself. She ran her hands through her own hair. "Mulder." She whispered. 
"Yes?" 
"You do know if we do this, we will actually be having sex with ourselves." She answered. 
He looked at himself and smiled. "And???" 
She pushed herself down on the bed. 
"Ohh a little rough?" He asked. 
"MULDER!" 
He rolled on her side. "Hey your boobs shift when you do that." He said. 
She looked at herself. 
"Sorry. Hey how about I draw you a hot bath?" He asked getting off the bed. 
"That sounds good." She answered and watched herself go into the bathroom and turn on the hot water. 
"Your bath a waits." He said bowing. 
She got up and walked into the bathroom and got undressed. 
She stepped into the water and turned it off and leaned back in the rather huge tub. 
She snuggled in the pillow and felt the steam surround her. She opened his eyes when she heard the champagine bottle pop. 
She heard a light knock on the door. "Here." He said walking over and handing her a glass. 
She reached up with his hand and took it from him. "Thanks." She said. 
"Scully.." 
"Yes?" 
"I'm sorry." 
"For what? Being your usual self?" She asked. 
He got on her knees and looked into his eyes. "You know whenever I look into my eyes, I see you." He said. 
She looked into her own. "Oh wow. I see you too and it's not a reflection." 
They smiled at each other and she turned and sat against the tub. 
"Mulder, it's been a week since this happened. Do you think we are going to stay like this?" She asked. 
"If we do, I promise to take care of you." He said. 
She laughed. 
"What?" 
"You have to take care of me." She answered. 
"I know. You have to take care of me." He replied. 
"Well at least we know we are in good hands." She said. 
"Yeah." He said turning and looking at himself. "I'm going to make the bed so that we both can sleep on it without sleeping with each other. 
She watched herself get up and walk to the bedroom. She tossed back the rest of the glass and placed it on the floor beside her. 
She waited a few moments then saw herself come in with pajamas. "You may want these." He said and then left. 
She got up and out of the tub and dried off. She put on the pajamas and drained the tub. She then walked to the bedroom and saw herself already asleep on the bed. 
She turned off the lights and pulled back the covers and got in bed. 
"At least we are sleeping together." She said to herself and put the comforter over herself and fell asleep.

'Mulder' woke to see herself looking at her. 
"Hey baby, last night was great. Especially when you were asleep. OHHH yeah." He said with a smile. 
She sat straight up. "You didn't?" She asked looking at herself. 
"No way." he replied "during your...Ew!" 
She watched herself get out of bed and head for the bathroom. 
She plopped down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. 'Need to solve this case, then aw forget it. We will never go back to our bodies.' she thought. 
She sat up when she heard a light knock on the door. She got up and answered it. 
"Hi. I just wanted to give you today's ajenda." A lady said with a smile. 
'Mulder' took it and looked at it. 
"I hope to see you later." She said and walked to the next cabin. 
'Mulder' shut the door and read the paper. 
"What's that?" 'Scully' asked. 
"It's what we need to do today. We get to go to another meeting." She said. 
"Cool." He replied. 
"Mulder, please don't embarass me again." She beged. 
"I won't. I promise." He replied. "So what do you wnat me to wear, lace or cotton?" He said holding up two different bras. 
She shook his head. "Whatever makes you feel comfortable." She answered. 
"The lace one." He said and walked back to the bathroom. 
'Lace. He's wearing lace.' She thought. 'I want to wear lace.' She gave a huge smile then shook her head no. 'If I get hurt and they see him in my undies.' She started to giggle. 'I can't do that to him.' 
"Well get ready." he said brushing her hair. 
She got up and walked to take a shower. 
'Scully' walked over and picked up the paper and read it. 'Hoseback riding at 1pm. Sounds like fun.' He thought. 
He sat down and crossed her legs. He looked over to see a couple argue through the window and walked over to investigate. He couldn't hear a word that they said but it looked pretty bad. 
Several councelers were trying to calm them down. They suceeded. 
"What's going on?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"An argument." He answered. 
"Oh." She replied. "Ready for our next session?" 
"Yeah, then we go horse back riding." He said with a smile. 
"Yeah, that's the 'only thing' you will be riding." She said opening the door. 
"Ohhh Scull-eeee, turnin on the charm arn't we?" He asked walking out the door. 
She shook his head and walked beside herself to the building. 
"Hey Scully." 
"What?" 
"Look, I'm beside myself." He said with a smile. 
"Well soon I hope you can be inside yourself." She replied. 
"I rather be..." 
"Be what?" 
"Nothing." He answered quickly. 
She opened the door and let herself in. 
They sat in their seats and waited for the session to begin. 
They looked at every couple carefully as they sat down. 
"Don't do anything." She whispered. 
"I won't." He whispered back. 
They looked over and saw a counceller walk in and sit infront of them. "Let's get started." She said. "Dana Scully, is there anything you want to get off your chest?" 
"No ma'am, I'll wait til I get back to my cabin to do that." He answered. 
"Excuse me?" She asked. 
"Nothing. I just want to listen to what the other couples have to say." He said sitting back. 
He looked over at himself and saw that she was hiding a smile. 
He nudged her with her elbow and made her grin just a bit.

"Ok. What seems to be your problems?" She asked another couple. 
"Well, she had a tendency to leave her Vagisil out." One man said. 
"Oh, like that really bothers you. You use it too." She snapped back. 
'Scully' leaned over and put her hand to her mouth. "Scully." He whispered. 
'Mulder' leaned in. "What?" 
He licked her lips. "What's Vagisil?" 
"It's a cream to help stop the itch." She whispered back. 
"Oh." he replied and sat back up. He searched the room with her eyes then leaned back over and put her hand to her mouth. "What kind of itch?" He asked. 
"You'll know it when you need it." She whispered back. 
He nodded her head yes and looked to see the councelor hand out clip boards. 
"What I want you to do is write down every little thing that annoys you about your partner." She said. 
'Mulder' took the lid off the pen and saw a piece of tape stuck to it. She took it off and rolled it in his fingers and shook his hand to get it off. It flew off and in between her breasts. 
She widened his eyes and dropped his jaw. 
He looked at himself, her boobs, then himself again. "Booby trapped." He said and took out the tape. 
She bit his lips to keep from laughing. 
"Now, write." The councelor said. 
'Mulder' thought about it for a while and couldn't come up with anything other than his sunflower seed fetish. 
'Scully' wrote down 'too clean'. 
They looked to see the other couples still writing. 
"I feel bad." He whispered. 
"Why?" 
"I only wrote down one thing." He answered quietly. 
"So did I." She replied and sat back up. 
A few moments passed and the councelor stood up. "Ok, let's start with Dana and Fox." She said. 
"Fox?" Several people asked and whispered. 
"Well h-hshe has a tendency to leave sunflower seeds all over the place." She said. 
"Ok, Dana?" 
He looked at himself. "She's too clean." 
"What do you mean I'm too clean?" She asked. 
"Have you looked at your apartment? No dust. Even when you had that stupid dog, it was clean." He said. 
"What about you? 3 inches of dust on top of your bookshelf. I'm surprised your fish hadn't died yet thinking it was food." She replied. 
"No,no, no, no, you are the queen of clean." He said making quotation marks with her fingers when he said queen. 
"Really? What about your girly magizines?" She asked. 
"Leave them out of this." He said. 
They looked at the group who was just staring at them. 
They sat back and got quiet. 
"Okay now...I think we had enough for today." The councelor said. "You all can go do what ever you were assigned to do." 
Everyone got up and walked out looking at 'Mulder' and 'Scully' as they did. 
They got up and walke dout of the building and out into the field. "Mulder, where are we going?" She asked. 
"Horseback riding." He answered. 
She walked beside him and smiled. "Not today." She said. 
He stopped. "Why not?" 
"Because of my period. Horses can sense what's wrong with you and they may not want you around." She answered. 
"Is that true or do you want to do something else?" He asked. 
She took a step into the tall grass and tripped over something. 
"Hey!" He said and looked down to see a body. 
She sat up and looked over and saw it too. "Another body." 
"I'll go call it in." He said. 
'Mulder' looked at the female and shook her head. 'What's going on?' she thought as she waited for the coroner to show up.

'Mulder' tried to keep herself calm as people came to see what was going on. She wanted to touch the body to see how the person died but she remembered she didn't have any gloves with her. She turned to see herself walk up. "The Sheriff's on his way." he said. 
"We need to keep people away from here." She said. 
'Scully' nodded and walked to the storage shed and came back with a rope and tied it off around trees around the body. 
They looked over to see a crowd gather. Afew moments later, the Sheriff and the coroner walked up with a body bag and a gurney. 
"What happened?" The Sheriff asked. 
"I tripped over the body." 'Mulder' said. 
"And you are?" The Sheriff asked. 
"We are undercover with the FBI." 'Scully' said. 
"Mulder and Scully?" He asked. 
"Yes." They said at the same time. 
"Ok, I guess you two are in charge." He said walking over to the coroner. 
'Scully' shook her head "That's a new one." He said. 
"What?" She aked looking at herself. 
"A Sheriff saying that we are in charge." He answered. 
"Hey, you know your right." She replied. 
He stood shaking. 
"What's wrong Mulder?" She asked concerned. 
"Nothing, it's just the first time I ever heard you say 'I' was right." He answered. 
"Don't get used to it." She said and walked over to the coroner for a pair of gloves. 
She snapped them on and got on his knees to examine the body. 
"Well?" He asked. 
"Gunshot wound." She answered getting up. "I won't know how long she was dead until I do an autopsy." 
"OH NO! Nut-uh! You are not putting my hands in another body." He said. 
She walked up to him. "Mulder, keep quiet." She said. 
He swallowed hard and watched as they put the body in the bag and zip it up. 
'Mulder' followed taking off the gloves and placing them in a box in the coroner's van. She got in and rode with them. 
'Scully' stood for a moment then decided to follow them in the car. 
He fought with the car seat, started it and drove to the morgue. He pulled into a parking spot and got out. 
'Mulder' walked in behind the body and waited til the prepared the body to be examined. She helped get the victim undressed and rolled her under the light. 
She walked over and washed her hands and dried them then put on a labcoat, glasses then gloves. 
'Scully' walked in right as she began to cut. "Ewwwww!" He said and turned around. 
She shook his head and began to wiegh the body parts. "Heart." She bounced her head. "Shot through it. The bullet still remains inside. I'm removing it to have it tested at the lab." She said. She looked over at herself and smiled. "I will now remove body parts to wiegh them, starting with the lungs." 
He made a whining noise and left the room. 
She laughed and began to wiegh the heart, lungs, and other body parts. 
She walked out after a long while and looked at herself. "Hey." 
"What?" He asked. 
"I'm done." She said walking over with a report. "It seems she was shot at close range, possibly with a silencer, earily today." 
He took the report in her hands and read it. "Wait!" 
"What?" 
"She had a fight with her husband, fiancee, or whatever, this moring." He said. 
She stood up for a moment. "That was her." She said. "Come on Mulder. Let's go see that the 'man' has to say." 
He got up and followed behind himself to the car. 
She got in and had to adjust the seat. 
"Hate that don't we?" He asked sitting in the passenger side. 
She turned and looked at herself. "Shut up." 
He started to giggle as they drove back to thir cabin.

'Mulder' parked and they both got out. 
They noticed they were being stared at. 
"What did you do now?" She asked. 
"Me? Why do you blame me if something goes wrong?" He replied. 
"Because you have been a little out of control since you became me." She snapped. 
"PMS?" He asked. 
She stopped and looked at herself. "Nope, aggrivation." She said calmly. 
They walked into their cabin and sat down. 
"Ok, We have a victim that was shot with a silencer." He said crossing her legs. "But who pulled the trigger?" 
"It could be anyone here." She replied looking out the window. 
"Well we better get investigating." He said standing up. "Let's start with the people here. Some are married and the others are single." 
"And?" She asked. 
"What if one of the men found his 'other' having an affair?" He asked. 
She looked up at him and smiled. "Mulder..." 
"No." He said shaking her head 'no'. "No way." 
"Come on, you have to." She said. 
"Nope, not gonna do it." He said crossing his arms. 
"I'll let you dress me like a slut." She said. 
He looked up at her. "Really?" 
"Yes." She answered. 
"Cool." He said walking to her suitcase getting out clothes. He stood up and pulled out a weegie. 
She got a pillow and hit herself hard with it. 
"What was that for?" He asked brushing her hair back. 
"Quit pulling weegies out!" She said. 
"It's not my fault that your undies like to ride up your a$$." He said. 
"Mulder." 
"Sorry." He said "But it's true." 
She watched him go into the bathroom and shut the door. He opened it and came out. "When's the last day of your period?" 
She looked up to think. "Two more days." 
"Good." He said. "I'm dying for a bath." 
"You do know you 'can' take a bath." She said leaning his body against the wall. 
He peeked through the crack. "How?" 
She licked his lips. "Want to know?" 
"Yeah." 
"Use a tampon." She answered. 
"OH ICK!" He said and slammed the door. 
"Yucko!" He said in the bathroom. 
She smiled and pushed herself off the wall and sat on the bed, still hearing him make disgusting sounds from the bathroom. 
She wathed the door open and saw herself come out in jeans and a white t-shirt torn and tied off at her waist. "So how do you look?" He asked. 
"Nice." She said. 
He spun around. "Let's go for a horse back ride." He said. 
"Ok." She said and put on his leather jacket and walked out the door. 
Everyone looked at them as they walked th 1/2 mile to the stables. 
"Mulder, what are you singing?" She asked. 
"Nothing, why?" 
"You are singing something. What?" 
"Well if you must know. The Bee Gees." He answered. 
"The Bee Gees?" 
"Yep." 
"What song?" 
"Staying Alive." 
"Oh." She mumbled. 
"Hey you asked." He said and started to sing to herself. 
They walked up to the stables and saw several different horses. 
"Boy are they beautiful." She said petting one on its face. 
"Yeah." He answered. 
"You two here to ride?" A man asked. 
'Scully' turned "Yes, we are." He said. 
The man looked at him and smiled. "Well, let's get you set up then." He said walking into the stable and picking up a saddle. 
'Mulder' was watching very carefully at how he was looking at herself. 
They walked out to the field and 'Scully' got up on the horse. He smiled at himself and rode around the field for a moment til something spooked the horse and it stared to jump. 
'Scully' tried his best to calm the hose down but fell off of it and the horse ran. 
"MULDER!!" She yelled and ran up to herself lying on the ground. "Are you ok?" She asked. 
"Yeah, just got the wind knocked out of me." He answered. "What spooked the horse?" 
They got up and looked over to see another body on the ground. This time they saw how the victim died.. Strangled.

"Wow, so much for 'Staying Alive.'" 'Scully' said. 
"Mulder!" 
"What?" He asked looking at the body. 
"Do you want to or shall I call this in?" He asked. 
"You go ahead and do it." She replied looking at the body. 
"Okay." He replied and reached in his jacket for his celphone. 
"Hey!" She said. 
"Come on baby, I 'need it.'" He said with a smile. "Yes! Yes! Ahhhh! There it is." He pulled out his celphone and called the coroner's office. 
She sighed, got down on one knee, and checked out the body. 
She couldn't touch the body but she made mental notes: 'By the way the rope burns are, the victim was strangled by putting the two ends of the rope over each other.' 
"They are on their way." he said slipping the phone back into his jacket pocket. 
She looked up at herself. "Look for clues." 
"Yes, ma'am." He said and walked around. 
'Mulder' stood up and looked around. She made one more look at the body. She turned and looked to see people coming around to see what was going on. 
She took a deep breath then glanced at the rope. BING! 'It's the same rope that Mulder used to keep the people away from the first 
victim.' 
"Hey Scully." 
She turned and looked over at herself. "What?" 
"I found something." He said. 
She carefully walked over to where she stood and looked down. "A shore print." 
"Not only that..A running shoe print." He said looking up at himself. 
"Who would run around a stable with running shoes?" She asked. 
"Our killer." He said getting up. 
"Where are you going?" She asked. 
"To snoop around." He said and left. 
She shook his head and turned to the body and walked back towards it. She tripped over his boots while walking. "Damn Mulder, why do you have to have such big feet?" She asked herself getting her balance. 
She looked over to see lights and sirens coming towards the stables. 
"Finally." She said and looked around to see people looking at him. 
The coroner's van showed up and they rolled a gurney and black body bag to where 'Mulder' was standing. 
The Sheriff showed up and looked at him. "Another body? What's going on?" He asked. 
"I don't know Sheriff." She answered. 
She turned and saw herself walk up to her. 
"Did you find anything?" She asked. 
"Nope." He replied. "Just a few couples who are happy and a few who are not." 
She nodded his head. "I'm going with them." She said walking to the coroner's van. 
"ok." He replied and watched himself leave. 'Should I?' He thought. 'Yeah.' "Hey Mulder, you look sooo good today." He shouted. 
She turned "Not half as good as you do." She replied. 
'Whoa! She replied. Must be feeing good in my skin.' He thought. 
He searched the ground for any evidence with the coroners then walked out to the car. "Ah, once again I shall follow the good looking...Me." He said. 
He got in the driver's seat and fought with the car seat. "I hate this thing." He said putting on his seatbelt. He started up the car and drove to the morge. 

"Strangulation." 'Mulder' said on a tape recorder. "No signs of a struggle. Seems the victim knew her attacker." She pressed pause on the tape player and walked around the other side of the victim. She pulled back the sheet and looked at the body very carefully. She took the pause off and began to talk. "I'm going to begin with the Y insision." She placed the tape player on the table and began to cut. 
"OH ICK!" 'Scully' said and ran back out of the room. 
'Mulder' smiled and continued with her autopsy.

'Mulder' finished and walked out of the room and saw herself sitting on a chair. "So why are we all of a sudden not liking the the dead bodies?" She asked herself. 
"I don't know." he answred. "Probably because of the 'female' thing." 
"Female thing?" She asked. 
"Yes. I feel more sentisive about things that I haven't been before." He answered. 
"Hormones. You get like that during the periods." She replied. 
"Oh." He said looking at himself. "So what about the victim?" 
"She was strangled." 'Mulder' answered. "All in all very good shape." 
"So was the other victim in good health also?" He asked. 
"Extremely." She answered. 
"Ok, do you think there may be a connection?" He asked. 
"I'm going with the fooling around one." She answered. "Until we find out who is really doing this." 
He nodded her head. "Want me to go slumming?" He asked. 
"What?" She replied confused. 
"Want me to sleeze around?" He answered. 
She sat looking at herself. 
"Listen Scully, I'm taking care of you..Not in the way I always wanted to but I'm taking care of you." He said holding his hand. 
"Thanks." She replied. "Go ahead. But don't be too flirty." 
"I won't." He said and got up. "Are we finished here?" 
She took a deep breath. "Yes, I just need to get the tape player and type out my report." 
'Scully' watched himself go into the room and come out with a tape. 
"Let's go." She said and walked ahead of herself. 
Standing in a corner was the two cornors. "Man, those two are something else." 
"Yeah. You'd think they switched bodies or something." 
They looked at each other then went back to drinking their coffee. 

'Mulder' fought with the car seat again then put on the seat belt. 
"So what's the plan Stan?" He asked. 
"Let's go to dinner tonight and think about it afterwords." She said. 
"Dinner sounds good. They have it at the retreat?" He asked. 
"Sure, every couple gets their own candle light dinner then dancing afterwords." She answered. 
"Ahh. I see." He replied. "I'll dress nicely for you." 
She looked over at herself and smiled. "As I will for you." She said. 
He looked at himself. "Oh god." 
"What?" She asked. 
"Nothing. I just hope there is no more bodies." He lied. 
"Me too." She replied. 
He sat back and looked out the window. 'I can't believe I'm being turned on by 'myself'.' He thought. 
She parked in a parking area and they got out. 
They walked to their cabin and were stopped by several couples. 
"We want to know who you are." One man asked. 
"Yeah, we heard you were FBI." Another woman said. 
"I'm with the FBI." 'Scully' said. 
'Mulder' looked at herself. 
"Fine Breasts Incorporated. I see what bra makes breasts look good while being comfortable." He said sticking out her chest. "And he happens to be a doctor. That's why he goes with the bodies after they are found." 
"Oh, ok." A woman said. "Tell me, which bras make you look good and feel right?" She whispered. 
"Well, so far a very low cut cotton one is comfortable but the pop out if you move wrong." He answered. "We are still testing others." 
'Mulder' rolled his eyes. 
"But now I must get ready for dinner with my partner." He said and walked up to their cabin. 
She followed behind and shut the door when they got in. 
"Fine Breasts Incorporated?" She asked. 
He jumped on the bed and sat indian style. "Like it?" He asked with a smile. 
"Clever." She answered very clever. 
He put her hand to her chest and bowed. "Thank you." 
"Get ready for dinner." She said talking off his jacket. 
He got up and pulled out a dress from the suitcase. 
"Is that the dress you wore when you went with Skinner?" She asked. 
"Yes." He answered. "Mabye, I'll get lucky." 
"Only with a bottle of lotion and a new set of batteries." She said. 
"Ohhhh, don't tempt me." He replied with a smile. 
She threw a pair of socks at herself. 
He shut the door fast. "HA! You missed." He said and locked the door. 
She reached in and pulled out a pair of dark blue slacks and put them on then put on a white shirt leaving the first two buttons open. 
'I like the way this looks on him.' She thought. Then she felt herself get hot. "Grandparents having sex." She said to herself and shuddered. "Got rid of that feeling." 
She turned when she heard the door unlatch and saw herself walk out.

They walked up the lighted path to the main building and walked in. 
Instead of chairs, there were tables with two chairs each with one single candle lit on them. 
"Which one's ours?" He asked. 
"I don't know, I guess we just sit down." She answered. 
They walked to a table near the middle so they could check out each couple. 
"Ahem!" He said standing. 
"What?" 
"The chair? You must be a proper gentleman." He said. 
"As if you are." She replied and yanked out the chair for him. 
He said down and felt pain run through him. "Ow!" 
"What?" She asked. 
"Pain on my A$$." He said. 
"Finally get to describe you." She said with a smirk. 
He looked at himself and dropped her jaw. 
A waiter came over and placed a salad in front of them. "What kind of dressing?" He asked wheeling different kinds. 
"Oil and vinagar." She said. 
"Same for me." He replied. 
They watched the waiter pour the dressing on the their salads. 
He reached over and got two wine glasses and put them on the table and poured them a glass of wine. "Anything else?" He asked. 
"No." They said at the same time. 
He nodded and went to the next table. 
They looked around carefully. "This place is set up nicely." She said. 
"I agree with you." He replied drinking the wine rather fast. 
"Hey, don't drink so fast, my body can't handle it like you can." She said. 
"Right. I'm sorry." He said and put down the wine glass. 
'Mulder' and 'Scully' ate their salads and looked around. 
'Mulder' noticed something unusal and fixated on it. 
"What's wrong?" He asked. 
She looked at a man who kept touching his neck. Then he fell on the floor. 
One person ran to him and started CPR and 'Mulder' ran to assist. 
As the person gave CPR, he fell over the man. 
"What's going on?" One person yelled. 
'Scully' smelled the wine and pushed 'Mulder' off the second man. 
"What's wrong with you?" She yelled. 
"The wine was poisoned." He said. 
She stood up and smelled the wine then smelled his partner's. 
"Oh man." She said while looking at the bodies. 
Women screamed and were hugged by their partners as the bodies layed on the floor. 
"I'll place the call." He said reaching for his cel phone in his pocket. 
"Hey! Watch it!" She said. 
"Sorry. Too much to the left?" 
She looked at herself then heard another scream. "I got this one." She said and walked back to the kitchen. She looked down to see a woman stabbed. 
She got on his knees and looked at the victim. 
Then it hit her. "OH MY GOD." 
She looked up and saw people looking at her. 
"Mulder!" She yelled. 
He looked over and picked up her dress and ran to himself. "What?" 
"How did the other people die?" She asked. 
"The first two were hit with a blunt instrument in the back of the head." He said. 
"Now we have a victim who was shot, one who was strangled, two who were poisoned...Folllow a pattern?" She asked. 
"And one who was stabbed." He finished. "I think I know where this is going." 
"Now all we need to do is find out who did it." She said. "But whom?" 
They turned to see the whole room as suspects. They looked at each other. 
"Why couldn't this be an alien abduction?" He whined looking around.

He turned on his celphone and placed a call. "This is Agent Scully." He said quietly. "Yeah, three. Sure. Bye now." He said pressing end on his phone. 
"What?" She asked looking at herself. 
"They are on their way." He said. "I'm going to go change." 
"Ok." She replied and waled over to the two bodies. 
The owner came up to 'Mulder'. "What is going on? We have dead people everywhere." She said. 
"I know." 'Mulder' said quietly. "We'll get to the bottom of this." 
"I hope so." She replied. "Everyone back to their cabins please." 
'Mulder' watched everyone leave. 
'Here come the sirens.' She thought as she looked at the stabbed body. 

'Scully' walked down the path and to his cabin. 
"Excuse me?" 
He stopped and turned. "Yes?" 
"I need to ask you a question. It's not important but to me it is." She said. 
"Go right ahead." He said walking down the path. 
"Have you ever had an affair?" 
He stopped and looked at this young lady. "Why would you ask that kind of question?" 
She smiled. "I'm a therapist here helping those who have had affairs and I just wanted to know if you had one." She answered. 
"No. I'm not even married to my partner....Yet." He said. 
"Oh ok." She replied. "If you need to talk, my cabin's over there by the stables." 
BINGO! "Ok, thanks." 'Scully' said and went inside his cabin. 
He got undressed and grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt and put on her flat shoes. He then walked back up to the main building where thy already taped off the area. 
"Scully!" 
She turned and walked over to herself. 
A dective looked at his notes. "I thought his name was Mulder." 
"I did too" said the coroner. "Very strange." 
"Yes?" She asked. 
"We may have a suspect." He said. 
"Who?" 
"The therapist helping couples who had affairs." He answered. 
"Well where is this theripist?" She asked. 
"Her cabin is by the stables." He answered. 
"Well then let's go." She replied and walked under the yellow tape. 
They walked up to the cabin by the stables and saw her leave. 
"Come on Scully." 
"Mulder, we just can't break in there." She said looking at herself. 
"Probable cause." He said pulling out a kit from his pocket. 
"You had that in my pocket?" She asked. 
"I always carry it with me." He answered picking the lock. "Ah, in there like swimwear." 
She shook his head and walked in. 
"Scully, you keep guard." He said looking around. 
"Why me?" 
"Because I had to keep guard while you-I did the autopsy." He answered. 
She made a face and looked out the window while he looked around. 
"Oh damn!" 
"What?" 
"I broke your nail." He said looking at the broken nail. 
"Oh geeze. Get to work." She said and looked back towards the window. 
"But I had them looking so nice." He whined. 
"Mulder!" 
"Ok, ok." He said. "Sheesh." He looked at a pile of files and read them. Each one had the victim's 'confession' in them. "Hey Scully. Every victim who died confessed to having an affair." 
"So that means.." 
"Someone is punishing those who had an affair." He said. 
"The therapist." They said at the same time.

They walked out of the cabin and walked to their cabin. 
A pair of eyes were watching their every move. 

"Mulder..." She said looking in the cabin. 
"What?" He asked and turned to see someone pointing a gun at them. 
"Why couldn't they just admit they didn't want to be with anyone?" She said. 
'Scully' stepped over to the side of the cabin with 'Mulder.' 
"I tried to run a retreat for those who can be helped. Not those who keep on doing it over and over again. I mean every year or so the same couples come here to try to work things out, they do but end up fighting because of infedelity." Rachael said. 
"Put the gun down." 'Scully' said. 
"And you two..What the hell is with you? You refer her as him and him as her." Rachael shook her head. "You two have serious problems." 
"No kidding." 'Mulder' replied. 
Rachel looked at 'Mulder'. "You look like the type who would do something wrong. Cheat on your girlfriend." She said. 
"Scully..." He said. 
Rachael pointed the gun at 'Mulder' and fired. 
'Scully' jumped and cought the bullet in her left shoulder as she hit the ground. 
'Mulder' jumped Rachael and fought over the gun. 
'Mulder' finally slapped her hard and she dropped the gun. 
'Mulder' flipped her over and put her hands together and pulled her up. 
"Mulder, you ok?" She asked. 
"No." He answered. 
The Sheriff came running into the cabin with his gun drawn. 
'Mulder' read Rachel her rights and handed her over to the sheriff. 
"Mulder?" 
He rolled over and she saw herself bleeding from the shoulder. 
"Oh no! I've been shot!" She said looking at herself. 
She helped herself up to her feet and walked out the door to the ambulance. 
'Scully' collasped right at the doors of the ambulance. Two paramedics picked her up and put her on a gurney and drove to the hospital. 
'Mulder' looked around then ran to the car and got in and followed in the car. 
"Oh please be alright." She said to himself. "I need to be ok." 
A few moments later she pulled into a parking area and got out and ran inside. 
She looked in the emergency room for herself and saw herself being rolled to an elevator. "Wait!" She said running to the elevator. 
A nurse stopped him. "You can't go up there." She said. 
"But hh-she's my partner." She said. 
"Go up the stairs and wait in the OR waiting room." The nurse said. 
She took a deep breath and ran up the stairs to the operating room. 
She looked at a nurse. "I'm Agent Mulder, I want to know how Dana Scully is." She said. 
"You a realitive?" The nurse asked. 
"No, I'm her partner I'm FBI. I'm a doctor." She said. 
"You got proof?" The nurse asked. 
She searched her pockets for an ID and pulled out Mulder's badge. 
"You are FBI but not a doctor." The nurse said. 
She closed her eyes. 'He's me.' She thought. 
"Listen, she's in good hands. She took a bullet in the shoulder. Not that bad. She'll be in a sling for a while but it's not life threatening." The nurse said. 
'Mulder' took a deep breath and walked to the waiting room. She stopped and went into the bathroom to was his face. She walked in the bathroom and looked into the mirror. She noticed a spot on the shirt right over his heart. 'My blood. He took a bullet for me.' She thought as she ran her finger over the spot and saw that it was indeed her blood on it. 
She closed her eyes and opened them. She washed his face and dried it off and walked to the waiting room and waited for herself to get out of surgery.


She sat in a chair scratching his chin. 'I need to shave.' She thought. 'Oh geeze. I don't believe I just thought that.' 
She looked up to see herself being rolled out in into a recovery room. She stood up and walked to the door. 
"Just for a while." The nurse said walking out the room. 
She walked inside and pulled out a chair and sat down in it. 
"Mulder." She whispered to herself. 
He stirred a bit and opened her eyes. "Scully?" 
"Hey." She said. 
"Oh god." He said. 
"What?" she asked alarmed. 
"I looks like I had an outer body experience seeing myself." He said. 
She sighed and looked at herself. "Mulder." 
He laughed a bit and squeezed his hand. "I'm sleepy." 
"Get some rest. I'll be back later." She said standing up. 
"Scully?" 
"Yes?" 
"You need a shave." He said falling back asleep. 
"I know." She replied and walked out the door. 
She walked up to the nurse's station. "Call me if there is any change." She said. 
"Yes sir." The nurse said. 
She turned and walked to the elevator and got on. 
She went down to the lobby, and walked outside to the car and got in. 
She sat for a second then started the car and drove back to the retreat. 

There were news people all over the place as she pulled in. She parked in a parking area and got out. She walke dinto the building and went through it and walke dout the dorrs and up the path to her cabin. 
She unlocked it and went inside and shut the door behind him and went into the bathroom and took a shower. 
She stood under the hot water letting it soak his entire body. She wasked up and got out and dried off. She got dressed and walked out of the bathroom and sat on the bed. 
She looked around then layed down. 'Just a nap.' She thought and slowly closed his eyes. 

She awoke to the sound of the celphone ringing. "Scully." 
"Agent Mulder?" 
"Oh sorry sir, I thought it was Scully calling me." She said quickly. 
"Is she ok?" He asked. 
"Yes, she's fine." She answered. "I'm on my way to see her now." 
"Good, I got the report from the Sheriff there. I expect one from you two when Scully gets better." He said. 
"Yes, sir." She replied and heard the phone hang up. 
She pressed end on his pphone and got out of bed. 'Shave. I need to shave.' She thought and walked into the bathroom. 

'Scully' woke up sometime later. He sat up and looked at the door to see a nurse walk in. 
"I need to change your dressing." She said. 
"Sure, go ahead." He said with a smile. 
She smiled back and walke dover and disrobed him and gently took off the soaked gauze pad and put it into the trash. She then wiped the wound with an antiseptic and put a fresh gauze pad on it and taped it off. "There you go." She said with a smile. 
"Thanks." He said smiling back. 
The nurse walked out of the room leaving 'Scully' alone. 
He took a deep breath and sat back looking at the ceiling. He noticed the little holes in the panels. 'One, two, three, four, five, six...'

"Three thousand one, three thousand two, three thousand three." 
"Hey Mulder, how are you?" 'Mulder' asked walking in the room. 
"Fine, til you made me mess up counting holes in the ceiling." He replied looking at himself. 
"Well not to worry, you can go home later on tonight." She said. 
"Really?" 
"Yes." She answered. 
"Good, go ask that nurse out." He said. 
"Mulder!" 
"Hey, she saw you nude." He replied raising her eyebrows. 
"Mulder, you need to be serious." 
"I am. If I was me, I'd ask her out." 
"But you are not you, you are me and I'm not asking her out..For you or for me." She said. 
He gave her a look. "Can you repeat that?" He asked. 
"No." She answered. "Besides, Skinner called." 
"Ohh did he want to talk to me?" He asked with a bright smile. 
"He just wanted to know how you were." She answered. 
He sat back putting her good arm behind her head. "Mrs. Walter Skinner." He said. 
"That's so sick." She said. 
"I knew you were going to say that. That's why I said it." She said with a smile. 
"Mulder.." 
"Yeeesss?" 
"I hate you." 
"My dear Scully, how dare you hate yourself?" He replied. 
She shook her head. "Let's get you out of here." 
'Mulder' stood up and walked out of the room to get 'Scully' his discharge papers. 
He sat up and looked around. "Hey Scully." He said. 
She turned and looked over at herself. "What?" 
"I need clothes." He said. 
She sighed and walked into the room and went to the closet. "Here wear these." 
"But thase have blood all over them." he whined. 
"You can change when we get back to the cabin." She said. 
"Fine, whatever." He said and put on her clothes. 
He stood up and put on the jacket with one arm and walked out of the room. He watched himself sign the papers and look at her. "Ready?" 
"Yeah sure." He said and followed himself out to the elevator. "You sure you don't want to ask the nurse out?" He whispered. 
"No." She answered as the doors closed 
	
"So you drivin me ma'am?" He asked walking to the car. 
"Yes, you can't drive with a hurt shoulder." She answered getting into the driver's seat. 
He opened the door and put on the seat belt. "Ow that hurt." He said. 
"You ok?" She asked looking at herself. 
"Yeah." He answered. 
She started the car and drove back to the cabin. 
They were quitet as they drove. 
"Scully?" 
"Yes?" 
"I went over every possible way for us to switch back, but I think we are stuck like this." He answered. 
She sighed and rubbed his forhead. "Then what do we do?" She asked. 
"We need to plan out future." He answered. 
"Our future?" She replied. 
"Yeah, I need to know every little thing about your life and you need to know everything about mine." He said. 
"Oh I know everything about you." She said. 
"You do?" 
"Yes, I know your qurks, your way of thinking, and your way of doing things." She answered. 
"Wow, all I know about you is your bra size..Which I say is very impressive since they are real." He replied. 
She closed her eyes and sighed. 
"What? I felt them. I had to. It's a guy thing." He said loudly. "And if we don't get back to each other they 'belong' to me." 
She nodded. "I see. So I guess that makes me the only woman in the world with balls?" She replied. 
"Damn Scully! That was a good one." He said biting her bottom lip with a smile. 
She uleed into a parking area and stopped the car. 
They both got out and walked to their cabin. 
"It's quiet." He said trying to keep up with himself. 
"Too quiet." She replied and stopped. "Do you think they all left?" 
"Probably." He answered moving a piece of hair from her face. 
She unlocked the door and went in and turned on the light. 
"Oh my godness." She said as she looked around. 
He stopped and saw what she did and smiled. "Wow."	


"Did you do this?" He asked walking around. 
"Hey all I did was get dinner." She replied looking at the candles and flowers all over the place. 
"They must have did it." He said with a bright smile. 
She looked around. "I guess so." She said smelling the flowers. 
He walked over and got some clothes and went into the bathroom. "Oh man!" He said. 
She walked over and looked into the bathroom and saw the candles and rose petals all over the place. "Why all of this?" She asked. 
He shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I need to shower. Wanna join?" He asked. 
She turned and walked out of the bathroom. 
"Come on Scully, I'll let you later yourself up." 
She shut the door on herself and went to look for a card or something. 
She took off his jacket and searched and found it:~Thank you for your cooperation on finding the killer. Hope this makes you two happy and a blissful night~ 
She rolled his eyes and folded the paper. 
She sat on the bed and listed to singing coming from the shower:~If you want my body (I have it) and you think I'm sexy (I know I am) come on baby tell me so (yes I am).~ 
She smiled to himself and walked over and ficked up a bowl of fruit and ate some grapes and strawberries. 
She heard the door open and saw herself with a rose in her mouth. 
"Mulder, what are you doing?" 
"Frying to ve seeductive." He said with eyebrows raised. 
She looked at herself as he walked towards himself in a half sexy, half strut way. "Fo I tawrn you on?" He asked. 
"Nope, just like looking in a mirror." She answered. 
He took the rose out of her mouth and tossed it on the floor. "You're no fun." He said. 
"Here, eat." She said. 
He walke dover and got a bottle of wine and opened it. He poured a glass for himself and her. He handed himself a glass and sat on the bed. "To us..The only people who understand what we are going throgh are us." He said. 
"Yeah." She said and drank the glass. 
"Whoa Scully, want another?" He asked. 
"Pour." She said. 
He poured himself another glass and watched himself toss it back. 
"Relaxed yet?" He asked. 
She took a deep breath. "Give me a few moments." 
He tossed back the drink and poured himself another one and tossed it back too. 
She handed herself the glass. "More." 
He poured more and she tossed it back. 
He did the same trying to keep up with himself. 
She put the glass down and felt really relaxed. She sat on the edge of the bed and slid off and fell on to the floor. 
He slid onto the floor also. "OW!" He said. 
"What?" She asked. 
He started to laugh. "You have a rather large bruise on your a$$ from falling off the..The..." 
"Horse?" She finished. 
"Yeah! That's what that's animal's name is." He said. "Oh Scull-eeee, I think I'm drunk." 
"Why do you say that?" She asked. 
"Well.." 
"Play doctor, since you are me anyways." She said. 
"Cool! I think I'm drunk because I got durgged and didn't have no food to eat." He said. 
"That your professional opinion?" She asked looking at herself. 
"Yeah." He said after a long pause. 
She started to laugh. "Oh I'm tired." She said. 
"Me too." He said. "But Where do we sleep?" 
"On the bed silly." She said attempting to get up. "or on the floor." 
He turned and pulled the comforter down off the bed with her good arm. "Here." He said. 
"Cool now we can sleep." She said grabbing a pillow and resting his head on it. 
"Hey Scully." 
"Hummm?" 
"I love you." 
She sighed and mumbled.."I love y..." 
He looeed around the room and passed out on top of himself.	

'Mulder' was the first ot wake up. 
She looked at herslf on his chest and moved a piece of hair out of her face. She slowly slid out from under neath herself then grabbed a pillow and put it under her head. 
She sat up and went to take a shower to wake up. 
Standing under the hot water, she thought about what he had said last night {We are the only people who understand what we are going through}. 
The thought swam through her head for a while then she turned off the water. She got out and dried himself off and got dressed. 
She quietly walked past herself and opened the door and went outside. 
She sat on the steps and saw couples walking around happy like nothing ever happened here. 
She took a deep breath and let it out. 
"Scully?" 
She turned and saw herself walk out of the cabin. "Mulder, go shower I look like a drowned rat who played football." She said. 
"How about a racoon?" He asked walking inside. 
'Man I can be in a b!tchy mood sometimes.' She thought listening for the bathroom door to shut. 

'Scully' got undressed and took off the bandage and walked into the shower. He stood for a few moments swaying. He looked up. "Oh, I frogot to turn it on." He said stepping out and turning on the water then stepping back in. He let the warm water soak her body and hair. 
He tried to wash her hair but couldn't raise her hurt shoulder. 
He just washed up and got out. 
He dried off and got dressed and went out to see himself. 
"That's better." She said looking at herself. 
"Oh Scully." He said resting her head on his shoulder. 
"What?" 
"I really hate to go back to DC. Let's run away together. Just me and you." He said. 
She leaned in and took a whiff. "You're still drunk." She said. 
"Really? I thought the place semmed rather wierd this morning." He replied. 
"Go put some shoes on, and we'll go for a hike." She said. 
"Cool, a hike." He replied getting up and putting on a pair of running shoes. 
She walked in and put on a pair of his shoes and walked out the door. 
He followed behind and they took their time going up the hiking trail. 

"Wow so clear today." 'Mulder' said. 
"Yeah, if you say so." 'Scully' replied shading her eyes. 
"Here." She said handing him a pair of sunglasses. 
"Cool, shadees." He said and put them on. "Gee, I have a huge head." 
She watched as the sunglasses kept falling down her nose. 
She shook his head and kept walking. 
"Scully?" 
"Yes?" 
"What were you like growing up?" He asked. "I know a few things from your mom..." 
"WHAT DID MY MOM TELL YOU ABOUT ME?" She said loudly. 
"Nothing.." He said quietly looking around. "Were you a Bad Catholic Girl?" 
He stopped and looked at herself. "No." She answered and passed herself. 
He walked fast to keep up with himself. "I think you need to get over yourself." He said walking ahead. He stopped and bent over to fix her shoe. 
She smiled and walked over herself, in a leapfrog way, and kept on walking. 
"Why did you do that?" He asked looking up. 
"You said to get over myself, and I did." She said and kept on walking. 
"I think you being in my body is really getting to you." He said running up to himself. 
"Why do you say that?" She asked. 
"Because you may be becoming me." He answered. 
She stopped and looked at herself. "Oh gawd." 
"Oh Scully, it's not that bad. I like being you. I think I have a sense of what you have to do everyday to maintain that level of respect that you deserve." He replied. 
"Mulder, that is the nicest thing that you had ever said to me." She said with a smile. 
He smiled back and held his hand. "Let's finish this walk then go eat." He said. 
"Ok." She replied and walked the rest of the trail that led them back to the main building. 
"So what's for brunch?" Mulder asked. 
"Whatever you want." She said. 
He shifted in her pants. 
"What's wrong?" 
"Nothing." He answered and smiled. "I finally got to do something I always wanted to do." 
"What's that?" 
"Get in to your pants." He quipped. 
"Well, I got to get into yours." She replied and opened the door for him. 
They walked to the buffet and got a few things on their plates and sat at a table. 
"So, after this we go home." 'Mulder' said. 
"I guess so." He answered. 
"Can we do something?" She asked. 
"What's that?" He replied. 
"Can you sleep in your apartment while I sleep in mine? I want to sleep in my own bed." She said. 
"Sure." He replied biting a grape. "I want to sleep in my bed too." 
"Good. Now about my wieght. I look a little chubby." She said. 
"And?" He asked. 
"I'm not used to looking at myself. Basicly you need to start working out." She said. 
"So no more chocolate ice cream?" He asked. 
She dropped his jaw, licked his lips and looked at herself. "No. No more chocolate ice cream." She said quietly. 
"Ok." He replied and ate a piece of toast. 
After brunch, they went back to the cabin and started to pack. 
They were quiet while they packed, both eager to get home to their apartments. 
'Mulder' looked up when she heard a knock on the door. She walked over and answered it. 
"Hi." The therapist said. 
"Hi." 'Mulder' said. 
"I just wanted to thank you for what you two did." 
"It' part of your job." 'Scully' said. 
"I know. Next time you two need some time away, give us a call, we'll have a room for you two." The thereapist said and walked away. 
'Mulder' watched her leave then shut the door. 
"Ready to go home?" He asked. 
"Yes." She answered and got both of the suitcases and opened the door and walked to the car.

'Mulder' drove back to the airport and parked the car and got out. She walked to the trunk and got out the suitcases and walked over to turn in the car keys. "How's my arm?" She asked. 
"Fine. A bit achy but fine." He answered. 
The receptionist raised an eyebrow when she overheard the conversation. 
"Let's check in our luggage and fly home." She said. 
"Good idea." He replied and followed himself to check in their luggage. 
They walked up the stairs and waited to board the plane. 
"So, have you experienced anything from being a man?" He asked quietly. 
She sighed. "Nothing really." She replied. 
"Hum." He said looking at the door. "They are boarding." 
Both of them got up and walked to the terminal and boarded the plane. 
They sat in their seats and 'Scully' got comfortable. 
"Rest. I can't wait to rest." 'Mulder' said quietly. 
She looked over and saw herself fall asleep in the chair. She smiled at herself then relaxed in the seat. 
She looked back at herself. 'I miss my body. I miss doing girl things, hot baths, facials, manicures, nail polish, and wearing a dress. Oh how I miss wearing a dress.' She thought. 
She took a deep breath and smiled at the Flight Attendendant when she handed him a cup of coffee. 
She took the coffee and slowly sipped it the entire flight. 
'Scully' woke up sometime later and looked at himself. "Coffee. That sounds good." He said. 
"No coffee for you. Tea." She replied. 
"Tea? Why tea?" 
"Because it isn't fatening, and it's better for you." She said. 
"You mean 'me'." He said. 
"Yeah that too." 
He growled and sat up. "Can I have a soda?" 
"Yes but diet." She answered. 
"Scully.." 
"What?" 
"Nevermind." 
"Come on. Tell me." 
He puckered her lips. "I want chocolate cake." He said. 
"Can't have it." She said. 
He slumped. "Fine." 
"When you get your body back, you can eat whatever you want to." She said. 
"Yeah, I know." He replied with a pout. 
"Don't pout." She said. 
"Scully, I always pout." 
"I know, but I don't." 
Yeah you just drop open your mouth like this." He said and opened her mouth. "It's a wonder why no bugs fly in here." 
She looked at herself. "You are such a pain." She said. 
He smiled. "I have yet begun to be a pain." He replied and sat back. 
"What are you going to do?" She asked. 
"You'll see." He said with a smile. 
"Do anything to my body and I'll.." 
"You'll what? Hurt yourself?" He asked. 
She looked at herself and felt trapped. "I'll get even." 
"Really how?" 
"You'll see." She said. 
'OHHH, this is going to be so much fun.' He thought with a smile.

The plane landed and they got off and retrieved their luggage. 
'Mulder' carried the suitcases while 'Scully' walked behind humming. 
She put the suitcases in the trunk and went into the driver's side of the car. 
'Scully' stood at the door and waited for her to unlock it. 
She did and he got in. 
'Mulder' drove back to Headquarters to drop 'Scully' off and get her car. 
"Hey, remember we said we wanted to switch apartments so we can sleep in out own beds for once." He said. 
"Oh yeah." She said. "I'll go to mine and you go to yours." She said. 
"Well bye Scully." He said. 
"Bye Mulder." She said and drove away. 
He watched himself leave and smiled. "Time to have a bit of fun at Scully's expense." He said and got into her car and drove to his apartment. 

'Mulder' pulled into her parking area and got out. She walked into the complex and went to her door and unlocked it and went inside. 
She slumped when she saw the place was a mess. "Damn it Mulder!" She said shutting the door. 
She took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves and began to clean. 

'Scully' walked up to his door and opened it. He walked in and froze. "OHHH, Scul-eeee" He said looking at the clean apartment. 
He smiled as he walked around and looked at everything. 'Clean.' He thought with a smile. 
He wlked into his room and sat on his bed then layed down. "Ahhh. I finally got you in my bed." He said. "But not you in my bed." 
He sighed and looked at the ceiling and fell asleep. 

'Mulder' finished cleaning the apartment then went into her room and layed on her bed. 
"Oh how I missed my bed." She said to herself quietly. 
She snuggled under the comforter and fell asleep. 

'Scully' woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. 
He reached over and answered it. "Hello?" 
"Scully?" 
"No-who's this?" He asked. 
"Frohike." 
'Scully' sat up in bed with a bright smile on her face. 
"Where's Mulder?" He asked. 
"I don't know. We had a long night. Working." 'Scully' answered. 
"Oh. Scully. you don't sound like yourself." Frohike said. 
He smiled. "It's the thong I have on. I'm not used to wearing one." He replied. 
'Scully' heard the chair squeak and Frohike clear his throat. "Well..IF yoU See uh- MuldER. Tell HiM to caLL Me." Frohike said with a high pitched voice with every other word. 
"I will Hickie baby." 'Scully' said and hung up the phone. 
He got on her knees and smiled. "Revenge is sweet. But how to work this out?" He said loudly. 
He bit her bottom lip. "And if she gets revenge on me...It won't bother me one bit." He said happily. 
He giggled and jumped on the bed then ran to take a hot shower.

'Mulder' overslept. 
She woke up and smiled. 'My own place.' She thought looking at the ceiling. She sat up and stretched and pulled back the comforter. 
She stood up and walked to the bathroom and took a shower. 

'How do I play this off?' He thought washing her body. He rinsed off and got out. He wrapped a towel around herself and looked in the mirror. "Oh Bay-bee!" he said with a smile. 
He turned around and realized he had left her suitcase in the car. He walked over and put on a pair of boxers and a shirt. He walked past the mirror and saw her reflection. "Oh Scul-eee! You look so good in this." He said smoothing down the shirt and boxers. 
He did a little 'model' pose then put on the pants from yesterday, put on her shoes and went out to her car and got her suitcase. 

'Mulder' stood in front of the mirror and took a deep breath. 'Time to shave.' she thought and got the shaving cream and started to shave. 
She finished and walked to her bedroom. She looked around and realized he had no clothes to wear. She put on the clothes from yesterday and went out to the car and got his suitcase. 

'Scully' came back and put her suitcase on the bed and unzipped the zipper. He took out a pair of jeans. He smiled as he put on the jeans. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "AK! Health freak!" He said the shut it. He thought for a moment then decided to go bug himself. 'Frohike wants to see me. Perfect time to get even.' He thought as he put on her shoes and jacket. He sighed and walked out the door. 

'Mulder' got dressed and walked to her computer and started her report. 
Within an hour, she was done. She looked over at her door when she heard a knock. 
She got up and went to answer it. 
"Hi me." 'Scully' said walking in. 
"Mulder..." 
"Yeah! Uh-Frohike wants to see my body." He said with a smile. 
"Why?" 
"I do not know." He answered. "He just wants to see me-my body." 
She took a deep breath and walked to the kitchen. 
"Hey don't go....." 
"WHY IS THERE JUNK FOOD IN MY FRIDGE?" 
He smiled as he looked at himself. 
"I don't want junk food in my fridge again." She said calmly. 
"Ok." He replied fast. 
"Let's go get this Frohike thing over with." She said walking to get his jacket. 
He smiled. "Oh yes..Let's do." He replied following himself out the door.


"Well?" 'Scully' said. "Ring the bell." 
She rang the bell and stood back. 
They heard lock after lock being undone. "Mulder, I see you made it." Langly said. 
'Mulder' and 'Scully' walked in and looked around. 
Frohike straightened out his clothes and walked up to Scully. "Would you like to have a seat?" He asked. 
"Of course." 'Scully' said and sat in a seat beside the computer. 
'Mulder' watched herself very carefully. 
"Mulder, look what we have here." Langly said. "Action, possibly UFO action." 
'Mulder' played the part and looked at the computer screen. 
'Show time.' He thought and smiled. He took off her shoe and rubbed it against Frohike's ankle. 
He turned and looked at her. 
"Sorry, shoes hurt." He whispered. "I wish Mulder would rub my feet." 
"Well, if I was your partner, I would rub your feet everyday." Frohike said. 
"You would? You're such a sweetie." He said putting her elbow in the desk and reasting her head in her hand and smiling at him. 
Frohike shifted in his seat and looked over at 'Mulder' to see if he was watching. 
"Scully." 'Mulder' said. 
"Yes?" 
"Can I speak you you privately?" 
He rolled her eyes and put on her shoe. "Yes." He said and got up. 
They walke to a corner. "What are you doing?" She asked. 
"Just being friendly." he said. 
"Quit it." 
"Scully..." 
"No. I mean it Mulder. Quit it." 
"Why will you get revenge on me? How? By sleeping with women? I might actually enjoy having you do that." He said with a smile. 
His face got red. "You don't stop. I'll go public in the FBI and say that "I" came to a realization that UFO's and Aliens do not exist." She said. 
He chuckled. "You wouldn't?" 
She leaned in and looked into her eyes. "Try me." 
He swallowed hard and gave a nervous smile. "I'll quit after I do something." 
"What?" She asked. 
'Scully' walked over to Frohike and kissed him gently on the lips. 
Byers and Langly froze and were shocked at what 'she' did. 
"Thank you for being such a gentleman towards me." He said and walked away. He looked at himself. "3,2,1" 
Frohike fainted and fell out of his seat. 
'Mulder' ran to see how he was and helped him to his feet. 
Frohike gave a goofy dreamy smile as he sat up against the computer desk. 
"Why did you do that?" 'Mulder' asked. 
"I always wanted to see how he would react to you kissing him. "Now I know." He answered and walked out the door pulling out a weegie. 
"QUIT THAT!" She yelled. 
"I can't help it, it's the thong." He replied. 
Frohike smiled and blacked out again thgis time with Langly catching him before he hit the floor. 
"Now what do we do?" He asked. 
"Go home and fill out a report." She answered. 
"Oh yeah. I guess I can do that. But we need to go back to each other's apartments." He replied. 
"Ok." She said getting into the car. 
He smiled as he looked at Byers close the door, then got into the car. 
'Mulder' drove back to her apartment and dropped herself off and went back to Mulder's apartment.

'Scully' sat infront of her computer and started his report. 
He paused every once and a while to think about Scully. 
He scratched her head then went back to typing out his report. 

'Mulder' fed his fish and saw at his computer and began to type. She stopped and started to laugh when she thought about Frohike fainting. "I guess he does have it bad for me." She said to herself. "If I get back to my body, I have to do something for him." 
She shook his head and continued to finish her report. 

"Done." 'Scully' said signing his name to the back of the report. 
He looked around the apartment and felt kind of homseick for his place. He sighed and went into the kitchen and got the ice cream. He then walked to the bathroom and set it on the counter and drew himself a bath. He got undressed and grabbed the ice cream and sat in the tub eating the the ice cream and relaxing. 

'Mulder' got undressed and put on some sleeping clothes and sat on his couch. She was getting a little homesick for her apartment too. 
She looked around and sighed. She looked at his watch and went to bed earily. "My own bed. I want to sleep in my own bed and in my own body." She said covering herself with a comforter. 

'Mulder' and 'Scully' sat infront of Skinner and waited for him to finish up reading the reports. 
"That all?" Skinner asked looking at the both of them. 
"Yes. sir." 'Scully' said. 
"Good. At least you are doing better Agent Scully." Skinner said. 
"Thank you sir. Nothing like taking a hot bath and eating ice cream to relax you." He said. 
'Mulder' shot herself a look that would have killed. 
Skinner smiled at the thought of that. "Dismissed." He said. 
Both Agents got up and walked out of his office. 
'Mulder' waited til she was in his office to tear into herself.

'Scully' walked in his office and sat in a chair. 
'Mulder' walked in also but shut the door rather hard and looked at herself. 
"There a 'problem', Scully?" He asked. 
She snarled and leaned in. "How dare you say something like that?" She said with an angry breatly sound that only females made when they are really pissed. 
He looked at himself and leaned back in the seat. "Sorry." He said lifting her body to get away from himelf. 
She put both hands on the arms of the chair and hovered over herself. "The thing with Frohike, this with Skinner...I'm really getting very impatient with you." She said in the same tone of voice. 
"I bet you're pretty pissed with yourself right now huh?" He asked. 
"Mulder, you have NO idea how PISSED I am." She said. 
He swallowed. "Hey I bought you nice pairs of jeans.." He whined. 
She put his head down then walked to his chair and sat down. 
He relaxed her body for a moment then looked at himself. "I'm sorry." He said. 
She looked at herself. 
He started to sniffle. "You have never talked to me in that tone of voice before." He said and started to cry. 
She rolled his eyes and sat back. 
He grabbed some tissues and wiped her eyes and cheeks. 
"Mulder, you say you respect me and then you do stupid things." She said. 
"I know, I'm sorry. It's not like I messed with your body or anything. By the way, your period stopped." He replied. 
"I know." She said. "Just don't let it happen again." 
"I won't." He replied and tossed the tissues in the trash. 
They sat for a few moments then heard a knock on the door. 
"Come in." 'Mulder' said. 
The door opened and Skinner walked in. "Another case if you two are up to it." He said. 
"Yes sir we are." 'Scully' said. 
Skinner handed the file to him and smiled then left. 
He opened it and her jaw dropped. 
"What?" She asked getting up and walking over and taking the file from him. 
She dropped his jaw. "They have to be kidding." 
A smile lit up her face as he looked at her. "I think I shall go and get ready for this one." He said and walked out the door. 
She looked at herself as he left. "Oh god, they let the Fox into the hen house with this case." She said then followed behind.

"So Scully, what do I wear to one of these things?" He asked walking into the lobby. 
"Just wear what they give you and DON'T blow the cover." She replied. 
"Oh I won't." He said and walked to the parking lot with a smile. 
She shook her head and opened the door and got in. "Beauty pagent." She mumbled. 
'Scully' got in and smiled. "I'm ready." He said. 
"I know." She said starting the car. "I know." 
"It says here that you are my manager." He said. 
"Ok. What else?" She asked. 
"Well, nothing on the body can be altered or faked." He answered. 
She sat back in the seat looking out the windshield. 
"That's no problem there. Everything you have is real." He said. 
She felt his cheeks burn. 
He looked at himself. "Wow, I never seen myself that red before." He said with a smile. 
"What else is there?" She asked after a long moment. 
"Well, you have the swim suit thing, the evening gown thing and the talent thing." He answered. 
She rubbed his forehead with his hand. "Ok and?" 
"That's about it." He answered. 
"Good. What are you going to do for the talent?" She asked. 
He slumped in the seat and looked at the dashboard. "I haven't a clue. But I'll think of something." He said. 
"Well we better go get you signed up." She said. 
"I want the name: Chesty LaRue." 
She pulled over into a parking lot and slammed on the breaks. "HELL NO!" She yelled at herself. 
"Just kidding..Gee do I 'ever' need to get laid." He said looking at himself. 
"You will have a decent name. Christine Pierson." She said. 
"Why not Brittany, or Tiffany?" He asked. 
"Because this is my case too and you are in MY body." She said not taking her eyes off herself. 
He cringed. "Ok mother. I'll do as you say." He whispered and looked down. 
She turned the car and drove. 
He looked up and took a qick look at himself. 'Girls getting dressed, in bikinis, and talking? Ohh they Gods have answered my prayers.' He thought to himself while he smiled a devilish cheezy grin. 
	
'Mulder' drove to Virginia where they were getting the girls ready for the contest. 
"Ok Mulder, please be nice." She said. 
"Yes sir." He replied and got out of the car when she stopped. 
'Mulder' got out and followed herself. 
They walked into the building and walked up to register. 
"Hi, I'm Che.." 
"Christine Pierson." 'Mulder' said. 
"Yes, Christine Pierson." He said back. 
"Ok, I have a few questions." The lady said. 
"Sure." He said with a smile. 
"Are you married, ever been married, or have any children?" She asked. 
"No. No. And no." He answered. 
"Good. Have you been altered in anyway?" 
'Scully' looked at the lady. "I'm 100% real. The only plastic on me are my credit cards." He answered. 
'Mulder' looked at herself and tapped her with her shoe. 
"Well, just sign here and we can get started." She said. 
'Scully' smiled and signed the paper: Christine Pierson. 
The lady took the paper. "Now Miss. Pierson, you can go in the back and we shall pamper you." She said. 
'Scully' Smiled and turned to himself and gave himself a big kiss on the lips. "Wish me luck honey." He said and walked to the back. 
She stood looking at herself walk away. 
"Sir, the boyfriends can wait in that room over there." The lady said. 
'Mulder' walked to a room where there was a couch and a big screen TV with baseball playing. She sighed, sat down and waited. 

'Scully' smiled when she walked into a room. 
"Miss. Pierson?" 
"Yes?" 
"Here's your robe. Get ready to be pampered." A young woman said. 
He smiled and went into a room and got undressed and put on a robe. 
He looked around and saw other women run around with no clothes on. 
He smiled as he walked passed them and the girls smiled back. 'This is so cool.' he thought. 
"Over here, Miss. Pierson." 
He walked into a room. 
"We need for you to take a shower." The young lady said. 
He smiled and walked into the shower and wathed the other women get sudsy and he washed up herself. 
When he was done he oput on the robe and walked into another room and sat on a bed. 
There, he was layed back and had the robe taken off of him and given a complete massage. 
"Ohhh." He said while his back was being rubbed. 
They rolled him over and started on the front of her body. 
"Oh Miss. Pierson, you have a scar." The massouse said. 
"Oh I frogot to tell you." He said. 
"That's no problem, that's why we have make up." She said and rubbed her shoulders. 
Just when he was about to fall asleep, they put a cream on her face and covered her eyes. 
He flet them fix her fingernails and toenails. 
'Pamper me baby, pammper me." He thought with a smile. 
Just then he heard a little whine beside him. 
He didn't think much about it until....

He felt something go on her leg that was warm. He felt a slap then a tug. 
"OWW!" He said sitting up. 
"It's just a waxing." The massuse said. "I'll be a bit gentler." 
He watched as she put warm wax on her legs and then the rag and rub and pull. 
"OWW!" He said. 
"Here. " She said and handed him a towel to bite on. 
He put the towel in his mouth and screamed when they pulled rag off. 
"Almost done." She said and spread her legs. 
He watched with horror in her eyes, and screamed very loudly when he got "THE BIKINI WAX". 
"All done." She said with a smile. 
He sat up and put her legs over the bed and got off. 
He was zoned out while he put on the robe and walked painfully to the dressing room. 
"I see you got the Bikini Wax." A contestant said. 
He nodded her head. 
"Well, it's just once." She said getting up and leaving. 
"Miss. Pierson, we need to take the cream off of your face." 
He walked slowly and had them wash the cream off. 
"Now for the hair and make up." The hairdresser said and sat him down. 
"Eep!" He squeeled as he sat down. 
"Oh bikini wax? So sorry." She said and pulled out the hair dryer. 
'Scully' watched as they dried her hair and fixed it totally different than what she usually does it. Then the make up. They put the make up on very evenly that it showed but didn't. They even covered her scar on her shoulder. 
"There. All we need from you are head shots then you can go home." The hairdresser said. 
He looked at her as she walked away. 
The woardrobe person came in and handed him a dress. "This will do." She said. 
He took off the robe and put on the dress. 
"Wow, that looks good on you." She said. 
He got up slowly and the dress fell down over her body and he looked in the mirror. 'Oh Scul-eee!' He thought as he twisted in the dress.

'Scully' was led into a room where there was a photographer. "Ok, we need for you to be serious, sexy, and comfortable." She said. "Now let's start with the sexy look." 
He stood straight up and pouted her lips and put her head over her shoulder. 
"Good. Give us another." She said. 
He thought about it and got a devilish grin on his face. 'I'm going to look at the camera the way I wish she'd look at me.' He thought and turned to the camera and blew it a slow kisswhile closing her eyes. 
"Oh, excellent." She said "Give us some more." 
He crossed her arms under her bust and lifted them, in the process the strap came off her right shoulder, and he gave a "Oh baby" look. 
"Good. Now I need a serious look." 
He thought about it for a moment then shook her head and looked straight in the camera. 
"Perfect." She said with the bulbs flashing. "Now a comfortable look." 
He looked around and saw an office chair. "Can I use that?" He asked. 
"Sure." She answered and walked over and got it. 
He smiled and sat down in it with her legs hanging over the arm of the chair. He then leaned back over the other arm and bent backwards and lifted herself up and smiled. 
"Oh these are going to be great." The photographer said. 
He sat up and smiled. 
"Well Miss. Pierson, that's it. Thank you." She said. 
he smiled and walked out of the room. As he passed the dressing room, he saw something that got him a bit down. He saw contestants using padding for their behinds and boobs. He shook his head and walked into another room and saw another contestant putting on a wig. 
He sighed and sat in the makeup chair. 
"Miss. Pierson?" 
He turned around. "Yes?" 
"We need to know what you are going to do for the talent competition." A judge answered. 
He smiled and told her what he was going to do. 
She nodded her head and walked away writing it down. 
Another judge came in and smiled. "Miss. Pierson, you can get dressed and leave now." She said. 
He stood up. "Thank you." He said and walked back to where her suit was and got dressed. 
He walked into the waiting room. "Fox Mulder?" 
She looked up and stood up. "You done?" 
"Yeah for now." He answered. 
As they walked out of the building, she reached out and touched her hair. "I love what they did to my hair and make up." She said. 
"Yes you should, and the dress...Oh it looked so good on you during the snapshots." He replied. 
"Really?" She asked. 
"Yep. You looked really good in it." He answered getting into the car. 
She got into the driver's seat. "Let's go to the hotel where all the contestants are staying." She said. 
"Ok." He said and put on the seatbelt. 
As she started the car, he looked at herself. "So what's the talent going to be?" She asked. 
"I thought I'd recite poetry while burping." He answered. 
She slammed on the brakes. "What?" 
"Just kidding. You have to see what I have planned. It's good and decent." He answered. 
"It better be." She replied and continued driving to the hotel.

"Mulder, make sure you leave my badge and gun whare they can't see it." She said pulling into a parking area. 
"Got it." He answered. 
They got out and walked in the lobby. "Miss. Pierson, let me walk you to your room." The hotel manager said. 
He looked at himself and smiled. "Bye sweetheart." He said and followed the manager. 
She cloed his eyes then opened them. He walked to the front desk and got a room and went up to it. 

'Scully' was led into a room with 4 other women who just looked at her. 
"I'm Christne Pierson." He said. 
One woman came up to him and looked down. "You seem short to be here." She said. 
He looked at her and just stared at her, making 'her' back down. 
She walked back to her bed and sat on it. 
"You girls behave." The hotel manager said. 
'Scully' watched him leave then look back at the contestants. "So where do I sleep?" He asked. 
They pointed to the bed in the corner. 
"Gee, thanks." He said and walked over and sat down. 
He watched the women as they whispered and looked over at her. 'Great, women who nnever broke out of that High School attitude.' He thought and smiled politely. 
He layed down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. 'Talent, I need to practice my talent.' He thought and had it swimming around in his head of what to do. 

'Mulder' walked into his room and sat down on the bed. "Ok, what is Mulder going to do as the talent?" He asked herself. "He had better not embarrass me. Actually, I hope he cracks this case before he even gets a chance to do that." 
She twisted his head and looked at his watch. "I'm starved." She said and got up. 
"I better go get something to eat." She said and walked out the hotel room. 

The women looked up when they heard a knock on the door. 
None of them walked up to answer it. 'Scully' mumbled and got up and answered it. 
"Dinner ladies." The manager said rolling in a table with several covered plates. 
"Ohh, what kind of food?" He asked looking at the covers. 
"Well, salads, and fruit." The manager said. 
"Dressing?" He asked. 
"Just oil and vinegar." The manager answered. 
The other contestants walked over and each grapped a covered plate then went to the bed and sat down. 
"Oh ew! These are not even the greens I wanted." One contestant said. 
"Oh, I hate this kind of fruit." Another one said recovering her plate. 
'Scully' grabbed a plate and walked to her bed and sat down and uncovered it. 'Wow. this looks good.' He thought and poured the dressing on it. The other girls sneered and watched as he ate the salad. 
"I'll go and get the salads you all ordered." The manager said taking the plates and placing them on the table and took it out oif the room. 
"How can you eat that..Stuff?" One contestant asked. 
He smiled, "Like this." He said and got a rather fork full and put it in her mouth and chewed it and swallowed it. 
They looked at her and sat back on their beds and crossed their arms like spoiled kids. 
He just looked down at the plate. 'This is going to get interesting.' He thought and finished off the plate and drank the bottle of water that was beside him.

'Mulder' was getting worried about herself. 'I wonder how Mulder's doing?' She asked himself while sipping a diet soda. She put the can down and looked in the window at his reflection and sighed. 'I bet he's having a blast right about now.' 

'Scully' sat on her bed and watched the other women very carefully then walked into the bathroom with stares watching her as he passed by. 
He shut the door and opened it a crack to listen: 
"Can you believe that woman? I mean no one with that height should be allowed to enter." 
"I know. What about that hair? Augh! I'd shoot both my parents if I ever had that color of hair." 
'Scully' pursed her lips together and his legs started to shake from anger. 'I'd like to see how you 'girls' handle having a gun stuck in your face and get out of it un harmed.' He thought. 
He listened for a few more moments then walked over and flushed the toliet and opened the door and came out. 
He walked back to the bed and sat down on it. Concentrating on the case and getting even with those women who dissed 'his Scully'. 

'Mulder' went back to her room and got comfortable on the bed. 
She reached over and picked up the remote and flipped the channels beore stopping on a movie. 
She sat watching it for a few moments then got up and took a shower to relax even more. She got out, put on a robe and sat on the bed. A few moments later, she heard a knock on the door. 
She got up and answered it. "Director Skinner, what are you doing here?" 
"I came to see how the case was doing." He answered. 
"Come in." She said and stepped back to let him in. 
"So how's Scully doing?" 
"Ok so far, she's got rehersal tomorrow then the competition." She answered. 
"Good." He answered looking at him. "You alright Mulder?" 
"Yes sir, just a bit tired that's all." She answered. 
"I better leave you." He said. "Oh don't tell Scully, but I'll be in the back watching. I'm interested in what she's going to do for the talent portion of the show." 
Fear came over 'Mulder's' face as he said that. "I'll make sure she doen't know." She said. 
He nodded and walked out of the room. 
He cloed the door and put his back to the door and slid down it with both hands on his face. "Oh, lord please I beg of you. Don't let him embarass me." She said loudly. She put her hands down and wrapped them around his knees and sat there for a while. 

'Scully' was quiet looking over the phone book when there was a knock on the door. No one got up to get it so he did. "Oh don't get up too fast girls, we don't want you to get whiplash." He said walking to the door. He opened it and saw the manager. 
"Ladies, bed time." he said. 
'Scully' walked to her bed and took off her clothes and slipped on an outfit that was given to her by the hotel. 
"I'll see you all bright and earily tomorrow." The manager said closing the door. 
All the women cralwed into bed and stayed there. 
'Scully' looked at the ceiling then over at one of the girls who got up and walked into the bathroom then came out a few moments later. 
'Ok, I need get through this.' He thought then smiled. 'I know how to get even with them.' 
He rolled and looked at the wall and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, 'Mulder' got up and took a shower and got ready. She made sure she was shaven and ready to go watch rehersals, especially the talent part of the show. 
She went to the room and knocked on the door. 
"Sir, the contestants already left." A man said. 
"They did?" She asked. 
"Yes." He answered. 
She sighed. "Thank you." She said and walked down the hall and into the elevator. "I missed the talent part I bet." She said to herself quietly. 
She got off the elevator and went to the car and drove to where the Pagent was. 
'Scully' sat watching a few women get ready. 'Man, Scully's a lot more human than these girls are.' He thought getting ready. 
All the girls stood in line ready to march out and 'give it their all'. 
'Scully' was between two women and was nearly knocked over by them both. 
"Oops, sorry didn't see you there." One girl said. 
The group of other women giggled. 
He took a deep breath and continued to do what she was told to do. 
She walked down the isle when his mane was called. He moved with ease, not messing up once. He got applause and smiles as he stood waiting for the rest of the women do their thing. 
"Ok, ladies. Now for the talent." The judge said. 
He walked towards the back and changed into a costume and got ready. 'I hope Sully likes what I'm going to do.' He thought looking into the mirror. 
"Now remember, this show is going to be on tomorrow night. Time to perpare for the worst." The judge said. 
'Scully' looked at the women who were still talking about her. 
He shook her head and went on to prepare for the talent part of the show. 
He walked out onto the stage and practiced something different. When he was done, the women laughed at him. He graciously smiled at them and sat in a seat to watch the other women rehearse. 

'Mulder' walked in and saw the women rehearsing and looked over at herself and smiled. She walked over and sat down. 
"Hey me!" He said with a smile. 
"So, how am I doing?" She asked. 
"Eh, ok. Except for the women." He answered. 
"Ah, the kind you want to slam into the lockers and keep them in there?" She asked. 
He looked at himself. "You didn't?" He asked. 
"Only once." She answered. 
"Uh-huh." He said with a twinkle in her eye. 
"Ok twice, one prep and one Cheerleader." She replied. "But they deserved it." 
He giggled and looked over at a couple of girls come up to himself. "That's them." He whispered then got up and sat on his lap. 
"Mulder! What are you...." 
Before she could finish, he was kissing himself very passonately. 
He pulled away and saw the women leave. "So you want me to go, or do you want to talk about the first thing that 'comes up'?" He asked raising her eyebrows. 
"Mulder! Why did you do that?" She asked. 
He got up and sat back in the seat. "Because you were the locker." He answered. 
She smiled at herself then looked at the women. "Gee thanks." 
"Don't mention it." He replied. 
"Ok ladies. Evening gown time." 
"See ya." 'Scully' said geting up and walking to the stage. 
'What is he 'really' up to?" She thought then sat back and waited to see herself in a nice dress.

'Scully' walked backstage and looked at several dresses. 
"Oh the little girl isle is over there." One contestant said making the other women giggle. 
He smiled and got the dress he wanted and went to go put it on. He looked in the mirror and smiled. 'Perfect. I never knew Scully's color was Emerald green with satin trim.' He thought then walked out to the make up room. 
He sat and they fixed up her hair and put on make up. He looked in the mirror. 'Oh I could marry myself.' He thought then got up. 
"Miss. Pierson? Here are a pair of shoes that match." A wardrobe lady said. 
He took them and smiled. "Thank you." He said and put them on. 
"Wow an actual thank you, not where were you? You're late! That made my day." She said and walked to the side of the stage. 
He stood up and wiggled a bit in the dress to make it fit just right. 
"Ladies, stage." 
They all walked out and stood beside each other. 
'Mulder' looked up and saw herself in the dress and dropped his mouth. "Oh wow." She said. 
"You're telling me." Skinner said from behind. 
She turned around. "Sir?" She asked nervously and surprised. 
"Just checking up on you two." He said looking at 'Scully' walk around. 
'Mulder' turned around and watched herself walk around then go backstage. 
"I hope she looks that good tomorrow night." Skinner said. 
"So do I." She replied. 

'Scully' got undressed and put on her other clothes. 
"Good job girls. Tomorrow is the day." The judge said. 
The women squeeled and jumped around. Somehow if he was in 'his' body, it would have excited him. But seeing the women like this annoyed him very much. 
They walked to the front of the stage. 
'Scully' walked passed a door and heard a conversation: "Tomorrow night is the switch off. I get the money, you get the drugs. Just as we planned." 
He nodded her head and walked back the way he came. 
'Mulder' was to afraid to move with Skinner behind him and saw Scully walk up. 
"Agent Scully, you looked good in that dress." Skinner said. 
He smiled. "Thank you sir." He said. "But the exchange is tomorrow night." 
"What time?" 'Mulder' asked. 
He shrugged. "That's all I heard." He answered. 
"Well keep on a look out." Skinner said. "I'll have other Agents watching also." 
"Mulder' and 'Scully' watched Skinner leave. 
"He thinks I look good in that dress." 'Mulder' said. 
"Do you know how badly I wanted to tell him 'I look better out of it?'" He asked. 
She gave herself a look. 
"Give it up Scully, I'm you. And you are me." He said "And I'm going to have fun with this beauty pagent." 
"Just don't get too carried away." 
"I won't." He said. 
"I think you should go now." She said. 
He looked over at the women. "Yes, time to be with the little girls." He replied and walked towards them. 
She smiled and walked out of the room and went to the car and sat down inside. 'Tomorrow, I get to see what that man has up my sleeves.' She thought and started the car and drove to the hotel. 

'Scully' stayed getting pictures taken, and pretending to be happy. 
When it was over, they went back to the hotel room to retire and get ready for the competition the next day. 



The next morining, the stage was buzzing with equipment and women getting ready. 
'Scully' sat back and watched the women fight and bicker about how their hair and make up should be. 
He turned and had her hair and make up put on without any problems. 
"Time ladies!" 
They all got fixed up, while 'Scully' was already to go. 
The stagehand looked at him. "Ok, just go out there and say your name and age. That's all." He said. 
'Scully' nodded her head and looked out into the audience and smiled. 'She's gonna kill me for this one.' He thought. 

'Mulder' sat down and felt a hand on his shoulder. She looked over to see Frohike sit behind him. "What are you doing here?" She asked. 
"The delictible Scully invited me to come and see her today." He answered. 
She was shocked that he was here and that he had called her 'delictible.' 
She gave a weary smile then turned and looked foward. 'He's so dead.' She thought. 

The lights came down and the women came out and introduced themselves. 
'Scully' strutted up and smiled: "I'm Christine Pierson, I'm 29 and I love to Rock and Roll." He said then walked back and stood beside the other women. 

'Oh dear lord, what else can go wrong?' She asked herself looking on stage at herself. She shifted and saw her mother in the audience. 
She stood in shock at who she saw and swallowed hard. She looked back to the stage feeling his stomach twist and turn. 

They did the evening gown first. 
Frohikie leaned onto 'Mulder' "Oh, I'm going to need a cold shower afer this." He said and leaned back. 
She felt his face get hot. 
The speeches were next, then came the talent. 
She sat back and waited with baited breath.

All the women did their thing then came 'Scully's' turn. 
He took a deep breath and waited til the music started then: 
He walked out and stood in the middle of the stage wearing a woman's 3 piece suit that was cut like a bottom of a swimsuit, with a top hat on, black stockings and heels. He smiled. "Let's go girls" He said and did a little dance. 
"I'm going out tonight-I'm feeling alright, gonna let it all hang out wanna make some noise-really raise my voice Yeah, I wanna scream and shout (he did the little dance step again then sat on a chair and tossed her head back and said "AH!)" 

In the audience was 'Mulder' covering his face with his hands embarraseed that 'He' had done this to her. 

"No inhibitions-make no contitions get a little out of line I ain't goona act politically correct (he moved her finger in a 'no' manner) I only wanna have a good time (He got up and walked to the back of the chair, put a corner of it under her palm and twisted it on one leg then stopping it with her foot, placing it on top of it) The best ting about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun and.. (He pushed the chair away and began to dance with the beat and music while singing) Oh, oh, oh go totally crazy-froget I'm a lady. Men's shirts-short skirts Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style. Oh, oh, oh get in the action-feel the atttraction. Color my hair (he ran her hands through her hair) -do what I dare. Oh, oh ,oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel (he stopped and looked into the audience and twisted down) Man! (he hopped up) I feel like a woman. HOO!" (he kicked up her left heel behind her) 
"The girls need a break-tonight were gonna take the chance to go out on the town (He walked around still hopping not missing a beat turning and stopping to look into the audience) We don't need romance-we only wanna dance. We're gonna let out hair hang down." 
As he sang the bridge and chorus, he shaked what she had and twisted down and slid across the stage then got up and turned around then stopped and sang the bridge and chorus again. 
"I get totally crazy can you feel it Come, come, come on baby. I feel like a woman!" He dropped to her knees and did a back bend. In the process, the lights blew a circut and sparks flew all around her and the crowd cheered and clapped. 
'Mulder' still was sitting thinking of ways to kill herself while Frohikie clapped and whistled behind her. 
'Scully' got up, bowed and walked backstage and handed the microphone to the next contestant. "Top that." He said with a smirk and went to go change. 
The girl just looked at the microphone and started to shake then scream like a spoild brat. 
He just smiled as he took off the hat and shoes.
'Mulder' sat back down and waited til they were completly done with the Talent part of the show. 
"Mulder? Scully was HOT." Frohike said. "I think I better go now and take a cold shower." 
She looked over at him and smiled. 'Good one less witness.' She thought. 

'Scully' was putting on an outfit when she looked over and saw the deal going down. "Oh crap." He thought then walked to the side of the stage and got an Agent. 
He then called on the other Agents and they went backstage while the talent was going on. 

'Mulder' looked around and saw Skinner go backstage. 'Finally.' She thought and got up and followed behind. 
The back of the stage was surrounded with Agents. 'Scully' stood in an outfit with his gun drawn. 
Skinner looked at him up and down then went back to watching and hearing for the trade. 
"Deal's done." 
All the Agents burst in and drew their guns and arrested the two men. 
A third saw what was going on and ran. 
'Scully' saw this and took off after him around to the front of the stage. He jumped on his back and threw him to the ground making the contestant mess up her song. 
'Scully' Grabbed both arms behind him and read him his rights. 
The crowd watched as this was goingon. 'Scully' looked up and smiled. 
'Mulder' came out and put handcuffs on the suspect and pulled him up and led him off stage. 
"Wait." 'Scully' said and reached in his pocket and pulled out a few diamond necklaces. "Just these are NOT your family jewels." He said and handed them to Skinner who just looked at her. 

"What is going on?" The manager asked. 
"Drug and jewel bust." 'Scully' said showing her his badge. 
"You were undercover?" He asked. 
"Yep." 'Scully' replied. 
He shook his head. "You just won 3 out of the four competitions." The manager said. 
He lit up. "Really?" He asked. "Did you hear that Mulder? I won 3 out of the four competitions." 
She nodded his head and forced a smile. 
"But I must forefit." He said. "I don't think I would want to be a part of some thing that doesn't really show what I'm really made of. I get to do that at The FBI." He said and walked away. 
She looked at her self. 'Wow.' She thought 'All this time, I thought he like the 'fakeness of some women'. But I guess I was wrong.' 
"Agent Mulder, we got it here, you and Scully can rest. I want a full report on my desk tomorrow." Skinner said. 
"Yes. sir." 'Mulder' said and walked to find herself. 

'Scully' put on her suit and looked up at himself. "Hi." 
She walked and sat beside herself. "Hi." 
He looked at himself. "Sorry about the dancing." He said. 
"It's ok. Frohike and Skinner liked it. So did my mom." She replied. 
He started to giggle. "Sorry, but I had to call them on this." 
She smiled. "I wanted to kill you.." 
"But that would be suiside." He finished. 
"I know." She replied. 
"What made you change your mind?" He asked. 
"A new found respect for you." She answered holding her hand. 
He smiled at himself. "Thank you." He said and stood up. "Let's leave this doll factory." 
He stood up and followed behind. 
"Oh Scully. The things I could tell you about these women." He said. 
"Mulder, I know about women like this." She replied. 
"Really? Wanna compare notes?" He asked. 
"Sure." She answered opening the door for herself and walking out to the parking lot.


"Hey." 'Mulder' said grabbing her arm. 
"What?" He asked. 
"Go say hi to my mom will you?" She asked. 
He smiled at himself. "Sure." He said and walked back into the building. 
She watched herself go inside and waited by the car. 
'Scully' walked back in and saw her mother. 
He walked up to her. "Mom?" 
Ms. Scully looked at her. "Oh Dana that was so increadible." She said with a smile. 
"Thanks, so sorry that it was an undercover job." He replied. 
"No matter, it5 was nice seeing you do something that didn't require you to be a doctor or an Agent." She said. 
He smiled at her. "Thanks." He said and hugged her. 
"Oh Miss..Whatever you are. Here are the photos we took of you." The manager said. 
'Scully' smiled and took the envelope from him. "Thanks." He said. "Mom I hate to go but I need to fill out reports." 
Ms. Scully nodded and smiled. "I'll call you so we can have lunch some time." She said. 
"I'd like that." He replied and walked out the door. 
He walked back up to himself and smiled. "Let's go have dinner." He said. 
"I'm buying." She said. 
"Actually, I'm buying." He said looking at her. 
"True. Dinner's on us." She said. 
They got into a car and drove to a restraint and had dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
'Mulder' sat down in front of herself and looked out the window. "Can I ask you something?" 
"Sure." He answered. "What?" 
"How did you learn to do that?" 
"Do what?" He asked back. 
"Dance like you/I did." She answered. 
"Well, when I found out you were flexible, I just went with it." He replied. 
She just gave herself a blank stare. 
As the evening went on, they had dinner and ate quietly. 
When the waiter came up to offer them desert, 'Mulder' smiled. "Go ahead." She said. 
"Really?" He asked. 
"Sure." She answered. 
He smiled. "I'll have the chocolate cake." He said. 
The waiter smiled and left to get the cake. 
"So now that this case is over, your mom wants to call me and have lunch with me." He said. 
She looked at herself sadly. "I wish that it was me going." She said. 
He reached out and held his hand. "I know." He said and looked over and saw the cake being placed infront of them. "Share?" 
She smiled and grabbed his fork. "You bet." She answered and dug in. 
"Hey!" He said and pushed her fork into his and took her slice from her. 
By the time they had finished the cake, the table was a battle ground of chocolate. 
"We better leave a good tip." He said getting up and dusting the cake off of her suit. 
She stood up and did the same to his suit and waited for the waiter to give her the bill. 
She walked over and paid the bill and left a $30 tip and they both left. 
"So back home now." He said getting in the car. 
"Yep." She replied and got in the driver's seat. 
She started the car and drove back home. 
She stopped in front of her apartment. "I'll see you tomorrow." She said. 
"Bye Scully." He said and walked into the apartment building. 
He went inside and put the pictures on the table and sat down. He opened the envelope and took them out and smiled. "Wow." He whispered with a whistle. He took a deep breath and walked over to her desk and got a piece of paper and wrote a little note and placed it back in with the photos in the envelope. 
He got up and went into the bathroom and turned on the bath water and took a hot bath. 

'Mulder' got off the elevator and went inside his apartment and shut the door. 
She walked to the couch and sat down covering his face with his hands. "I can't believe he did that." She said through his hands. 
She took a deep breath and let down his hands and got up and went into his room and got ready for bed. She layed down and pulled the comforter over her and drifted off to sleep. 

'Scully' got out of the tub and put on her pajamas and crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over him. He smiled as he got cozy and drifted off to sleep. 

Back in New Orleans, the Dective looked into the bowls and saw the hairs untangle and seperate. "Ah they finally admitted they respected each other." She said and picked the bowls up and threw them away. 
She smiled. "You shall be yourselves once again." She said and blew out the candle.

Morning. 
'Scully' woke up and pulled the covers off of her and walked to the bathroom. She ran into her dresser on the way. "What the..?" She asked and she ran her hands through her hair and looked into the mirror. 
She shook her own head and smiled then slapped herself. "OW!" 
She looked down her nightshirt and felt around. "I'm me again." She said still rubbing her chest. "YES!!!" 
She ran to the livingroom and picked up the phone and called Mulder. 

Mulder woke to the sound of his phone ringing and tried to compose himself. He sat up and looked around. He ran his hand over his face and felt stubble. "Damn Scully, Menopause already?" he asked standing up. He stopped and realized he was in his own room. 
He ran his hand all over himself then went to answe his phone. "Hello?" 
"Mulder! I'm me!!!" Scully said cheerfully. 
"Yeah! I'm me too!" He said back to her. 
There was a long pause. 
"Uh-Mulder, did you write your report?" She asked. 
"Nope." He answered. 
"I think we better type it out then switch when we get to the office." She said. 
"Ok sounds good." He replied. "I'll see you later." 
"Bye, Mulder." 
"Bye Scully." 
They each hung up the phone and got into their shower and got ready for work. 

Mulder typed out his report as best as he could as 'Scully' and printed it out. 
Scully typed out her report as 'Mulder' and printed it out. She walked passed her table and saw an envelope and picked it up. She opened it and pulled out the photos and saw the note that he had written:~Scully, I always knew you were a beautiful person on the outside, it just took me to become you, to see your beauty on the inside. Mulder~ 
She put down the note and smiled. She put the photos on the table and put together the report and walked out her apartment door. 

Mulder and Scully sat in Skinner's waiting room. They switched reports and signed the back of them just as Skinner's secretary came out of his office to let them in. 
They stood up and went into his office and handed him their reports. 
After an hour, Skinner looked up. "Anything else to add?" He asked. 
"No." They said at the same time. 
"Ok. Dismissed." Skinner said. 
They got up and walked out of his office. 
"Mulder, how do you think we got back to ourselves?" Scully asked. 
"I don't know." Mulder answered getting onto the elevator. 
They got off and walked into his office and sat down. 
"It's nice to be myself again." Scully said. 
"Yeah, it's nice to actually stand up and pee." He replied. 
"I hated that." She said. 
"Really? How about pulling down panty hose and using the bathroom. I don't know how you did that." He replied. 
She smiled. "I hate to change the subject, but I found the photos." She said. 
"You did?" He asked. 
"Yeah." She answered. 
Mulder leaned in. "I was going to give one to Frohike." He whispered. 
"Are you serious?" She asked. 
"Sure why not?" He asked. "He likes you." 
She shook her head and smiled. "What do you want me to write on it?" She asked. 
"Something good." He answered. 
She nodded her head. "Ok." 
She sat back and smiled. "What about you? Do you want a photo of me? I'll write something nice." 
"Like what?" He asked. 
She shrugged. "To a friend who actully walked in my shoes and knew how it felt." She said. 
He smiled at her. "And I'd do it again in a heartbeat." He replied. 
"Just don't do that dance again." She said. 
"Why not?" 
"It's not me." She said. 
He nodded. "Man! I feel like a woman!" He sang making her laugh. 
He smiled at her and sat back. 
Both of them started to hum to the song, both kicking their heels up when they said "OW!" 

Spookie...