A Faith Lost
by Joylynn Wing
aljoyw@a-znet.com
Part 5 of 9
                   *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Mulder ran quickly across the dew slicked, well-manicured 
grounds. As he tried desperately to keep his balance on the 
wet grass beneath his feet, he artfully dodged the markers 
which were scattered about in front of him. He could no 
longer hear the group that he was pursuing and he 
consciously increased his speed, praying that he didn't 
lose his balance and fall flat on his ass. Now wouldn't 
that just be 'manly'!

As Mulder made his way up to the top of a small knoll, he 
could finally see a lonely street light. He now realized 
that he was at the other end of the cemetery. Under the 
street light, Mulder could make out the steamed windows of 
an older model four-door sedan. 

'Ah ha...the den of iniquity....'

Mulder stopped and quickly tucked himself behind a tall 
maple tree. Placing his back flat against the rough bark, 
Mulder peered around the corner to survey the area. He 
wasn't concerned with the occupants of the car, between the 
blurred windows and their activities, he knew that he could 
easily sneak up on them.

However, the two other suspects were still out there 
somewhere and were probably armed.

Mulder studied the area carefully noting that no one was 
around. "Ok, the area seems clear." Mulder took a deep 
breath and turned himself to look straight down the hill.
Mulder chuckled softly as he put his hands into his 
pockets. "Poor guy...I guess that you won't be getting your 
rocks off tonight after all."

From behind him, Mulder heard what he thought was the sound 
of footsteps. "Scully?" Mulder questioned as he turned 
around and searched the grounds behind him. It had been a 
while since he had left her and he knew that she would be 
coming soon. 'What is taking her so long? And on that 
subject, where the hell is our back up?' 

Mulder knew that it was protocol to wait to apprehend a 
suspect until after back-up arrived, but Mulder was already 
growing anxious. Not knowing what exactly the man had paid 
for, he could be done at any minute. The loss of the 
opportunity and the fact that the two others couldn't be too 
far away, made Mulder want to charge down the hill and take 
the initiative.

However, he stayed on the side of caution. Searching the 
hillside carefully, he noted a large tree just to his 
right. From there he had a better vantage-point to observe 
without being detected, so he decided to wait there.

But before Mulder could act, a sharp pain raced through his 
head, following the length of his spine and a bright light 
flashed before his semi-closed eyes. Mulder grabbed his 
head as he fell to his knees in the wet, cool grass below 
as wave after wave of intense dizziness and incredible pain 
ebbed with every beat of his thumping heart.

As Mulder desperately fought the need to vomit; he felt a 
sharp kick in the back and with the wind knocked out of 
him, he fell over completely.

Mulder fought to get to his knees but with his body not 
responding to his will and his vision blurred beyond use,
he knew that it was useless. With Mulder's last conscious 
breath -filled with the overwhelming essence of roses-  
he heard the muffled sounds of a struggle, accompanied by 
the words, "oh my God...what in the hell are 
you?"


                    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


"Mulder?" Scully whispered as she looked carefully about
in the unforgiving darkness. The bright light of the moon 
was now being obscured at times by thick rolling storm 
clouds, making her visibility less than optimal. Ever since 
freeing herself from her little predicament, she had been 
trying to make her way -with little success- to the south 
gate. 

"Mulder, where the hell are you?" Scully stepped forward in 
her cold wet stocking feet, and she winced as a burning 
pain shot through her leg. "Goddamn does this ankle hurt," 
Scully muttered as she reached down and gently massaged the 
tender flesh with a practiced touch. 

Getting down from the crypt hadn't been as hard as she had  
anticipated. After throwing her shoes down, she had just 
turned around and slid herself down the face of the 
structure. Her training at the academy had prepared her 
well, however the wet grass had proved less than successful. 

Just after taking up chase after Mulder and the suspects,
she had snagged herself on a small rock and had fallen in 
the wet grass. As a result, she had twisted her ankle.
Although it did hurt like hell: she could bear weight and 
it did have full range of motion so she knew that it was 
nothing serious. 

'I can't believe this....'  Scully rolled her eyes in 
frustration, as she tried to relieve the tension that had 
settled into her shoulders from holding her service weapon 
at her side in readiness. A smug smile crept across her 
face as a not so nice thought cross her mind; Mulder 
tripping and falling over a marker, just desserts after 
dumping her ass. Of course she dismissed it as quickly as 
it had came.

Even in the mood that she was in, she wouldn't wish that on 
her worst enemy, let alone Mulder.

'Well at least we're not chasing demons, aliens or some 
such things.' She had to admit that chasing known life-
forms was much easier than the paranormal. 

Hobbling carefully, she picked her way from one piece of 
landscaping to another, using the greenery as cover. After 
a few moments, Scully finally found herself at the top 
of a big hill. As she stood behind a large pine tree, she 
looked down the hill below and noticed a four-door late 
model sedan. It was parked along side of the road on the 
other side of the gate with its windows steamed.

'Ok...I have found our three lovebirds but where is Mulder 
and our suspects? Turning around cautiously, being 
circumspect to remain protected, Scully carefully scanned 
the area for life. As she looked to her right she caught 
out of the corner of her eye movement behind some bushes. 
Pulling her gun up from the resting position and 
slipping off the safety, Scully instinctively chose the 
Weaver stance: placing her feet in a professional boxer-
type position as she adopted a forty-five degree angle to 
her target. This stance; provided herself as less of a 
target while giving her greater mobility in case she needed 
to run.

She couldn't see from where she was what was behind the 
bush, but the movement had been too large to be an animal.
Scully knew that without back-up and injured she was at a 
distinct disadvantage. She didn't want to give her position 
away but she knew in the pit of her gut that someone was 
there. But before she could decide what to do, fate 
intervened. From behind the clump of twisted matted leaves 
and thorns a tall broad-chested figure ran out. He headed 
toward the woods; his figure still partially obscured by 
the edge of the overgrown vegetation.

"Freeze! Federal Agent...put your hands up in the air!"
Scully brought her firearm up in line sight: rear and 
front, her finger perched on the trigger. Blue eyes blinked 
in anger, from where she was she couldn't get a good 
target. 

"I said freeze. I am armed." Scully warned once again as 
she took a step forward. She kept her gun up, even though a 
clean shot was impossible. She could feel her heart racing 
in her chest; the grip of her gun was slick with sweat from 
her palm.

The man looked about anxiously for a second and then ran 
up and into the woods, not for a moment leaving the cover 
of the pine trees.

"Damn!" Scully shook her head, as she dropped her gun down 
to waist level. Wrinkling her brow, she turned and began to 
limp her way down the hill. She knew that with her injury 
she would not be able to give effective chase, so her next 
logical step would be to find Mulder and help apprehend the 
suspects in the vehicle. They would be able to lead them to 
the others.

Clearing the first knoll and remaining undercover, she 
could just make out a small dip in the descent. As she 
carefully made her way down to it avoiding the thick 
bramble, her good foot caught on something that was heavy, 
warm and fleshy. Scully struggled to maintain her already 
precarious balance as she looked around to see what was 
holding her up. "Damn," she whispered. "I almost forgot how 
dark it is in the country." 

Stooping over, Scully reached down to see what had caught 
her foot. As she felt about, something heavy covered in 
damp cloth greeted her tentative touch. 

"What the-" Scully went down on her knees and looked 
under the shrubbery, keeping her gun ready. At first only 
darkness, thick and menacing stared back, but as the clouds 
moved once again, she could just make out a familiar, still 
figure of a man.

"Oh my God, Mulder..."

Scully grabbed the shoe in her pocket and tossed it on the 
ground.  It was too dark to see what was wrong, so she got 
out her flashlight and turned it on. She then leaned over 
Mulder and she shielded the light as much as possible to 
keep her position secure.

What she saw there worried her. Mulder was lying on his 
side, his cheek into the ground. His eyes were closed, his 
breaths quiet. In the middle of Mulder's very pale forehead 
was a large, very dark bruise situated on top of a sizeable 
bump that oozed a great deal of blood.
 
She tucked the flashlight under her arm and making sure 
that her gun arm was still ready, she quickly took a 
carotid pulse. 'It's thready...from shock' As she pulled 
her hand back up, warm sticky blood dripped from her 
fingers.

'Oh God...'she thought, 'Mulder, what did you get yourself 
into this time?' Careful not to move him, she backed up a 
little and grabbed for her cell-phone. She could hear the 
police that she had called earlier finally pulling up to 
the gate below but she knew that she needed to get an 
ambulance there fast.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she whispered, "hold on Mulder. 
The police are here."  Scully settled down on the ground 
next to Mulder and placed the still lit flashlight next to 
her. With her eyes full of tears, she reached over and with 
the cell-phone phone still in her hand, brushed his hand with 
hers. 

One would think that after all of the times that Mulder had 
been injured on the job, she would have gotten used to it.
But she wasn't. Each and every time it caused an aching pit 
to grow in her stomach. However, now was not the time to 
dwell upon it. She needed to remain strong and professional 
for him and for herself.

As Scully looked down the hill, she saw several officers 
exit the three cruisers and walk over towards the car. 
Holding her gun in one hand, she dialed for assistance. As 
she waited for the connection, she called down to the 
police below. "I've got an officer down up here and an 
unknown number of subjects still at large. I am a federal 
agent and I am armed."

                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


2300hrs
Strong Memorial Hospital
Rochester, NY

Spending the night as a guest at the local hospital's ER
wasn't Dana Scully's idea of a good time. However as she 
had several times before in the past, she sat quietly next 
to her partner in the well lit exam room. She had already 
sought treatment for her twisted ankle, and now awaited 
results on Mulder's CT scan. 

Scully looked up from her hands that were folded in her lap 
at her partner. Mulder sat stoically on the edge of the 
stainless steel trimmed gurney, his dangling feet making 
him appear to be more of a very tired little boy than of a 
man in his late thirties.

She watched silently as Mulder reached up with his hand and 
gingerly touched the tape, which held the dressing on his 
wound. "Can we leave now Scully?" Mulder asked with a pout.
After waking up here to an overbearing, quite unattractive 
nurse bent on bleeding every ounce of blood that he had 
left in him, he had been more than ready to leave. However 
since he knew that if he didn't get treatment for his 
injuries Scully would kill him her self, he had behaved.

"Mulder...you have a head injury." Scully reached over 
and took his hand in hers, gently rubbing her thumb across 
his knuckles. The lateness of the hour was beginning to 
take its toll on her. Dark circles underlined blood shot 
blue eyes, once perfect make-up now smudged and faint. 
"They need to read the CT Scan, it could be serious. They 
did have to give you several stitches to close the wound."

"Scully, I have been hurt worse than this," Mulder chuckled 
softly, the corners of his mouth curling around his words.
He did have to admit that he felt like shit. He swore that 
a herd of elephants had taken up residence in his head, 
their incessant pounding causing even his eyes to hurt. His 
back was quite sore from the kick that he had received, the 
muscles tight and achy. In short, he knew that on the 
Mulder injury index, on a scale of one to ten, he was at an 
impressive six.
 
However, he would never admit it to Scully. If he did she 
would hover over him like a mother hen and right now a 
mother hen was the last thing that he needed. He knew that 
once he got out of there, he would instantly better. No 
two-bit punk wasn't going to keep him down long. All that 
he needed was a hot shower and a few moments to himself.  
"I just want to go back to my room and lie down," Mulder 
pleaded softly as he rubbed his lower back.

"That's a very good idea, Agent Mulder." From behind the 
pulled curtain a familiar figured stepped forth, Dr. 
Dailey: the emergency room attending physician. "Agent 
Mulder...your scan was negative. As much as I would like to 
keep you here overnight, You *can* go." 

Mulder shot a look of relief at Scully, as a cat-that-ate-
the-canary grin crept over his face. 

Scully just shrugged quietly in return. 

Fumbling through her clipboard full of papers, the thick 
curtain of her dark hair fell to obscure her delicate 
features as she spoke. "I have written you a prescription 
for Percocet and you can fill that at the pharmacy around 
the corner. However, until then, the nurse has been 
instructed to give you one before you leave. Now since you 
did lose some blood, and refused IV treatment, I recommend 
that you increase your fluid intake for the next few days. 
You were also unconscious, so please take it easy. 

Looking down at her reports once again, a bright smile 
danced across her face. "Judging from your previous records 
that they faxed me, you know the drill probably better than 
I do. And Agent Scully...I am counting on you to keep him 
out of trouble."

Scully rolled her eyes in indignation as if to say, like 
*she* could ever keep Mulder in line. 

With a smile the doctor handed Mulder his treatment 
reports, and then with a nod she left, leaving the two 
alone. The eerie silence of the room cloaked them in a 
thick oozing false sense of security.

Scully stood up slowly, her body showing clearly what 
little energy she had. A cloud of guilt settled over Mulder 
as he watched her stiffly reach back and pull her jacket of 
the back of the chair. Mulder then looked down and could 
clearly see the ace wrap tightly wound around her slight 
ankle.

'What the hell have I done? I promised myself that I would 
never ditch her again, and what do I do? I take off into 
the night after the suspects and leave her to call for 
back-up like an assistant. She fell because she was trying 
to save my sorry ass.' Mulder closed his eyes and sighed. 
"Come on Mulder. Let's get you out of here." Mulder heard 
Scully mumble as he silently admonished himself once again. 
'You're such a putz.'

Mulder opened his eyes and slipped off of the gurney, his 
shoes thudding on the floor beneath. "Scully...I need to 
talk to you." Mulder stepped up to stand in front of her, 
his eyes dark and hooded with concern. They needed to 
finish what they had started, even though he knew that she 
didn't. He knew that if he let it go for too long, Scully 
would just retreat into herself once again and then it 
would be too late.

"Mulder, I don't think we need to talk anymore. I think 
that we said all that there was needed to be said." Scully 
turned away from Mulder to walk out of the cubby. 

Mulder grasped her by the shoulder and Scully stopped as 
she turned to face him. "We need to talk, right now." 
Mulder took a deep breath and continued to speak. " Look, I 
am sorry about what happened, I just thought...I just 
thought that you understood. That you would just know. No 
matter what we might feel for one another, I value our 
friendship way too much to risk it on a long shot. I need 
you in my life, but I just don't think that..."

"Mulder it's ok," Scully interrupted as she reached up and
caressed the curve of his bruised cheek. "I told you that I 
am not leaving; not now, not ever. This is as much my fight 
as it is yours." Scully then chuckled tightly, as she 
brought her hand back down to rest on her hip. "As far as I 
am concerned, I am glad that we got that all out in the 
open. Now we can go on with no expectations...no 
misunderstandings. You are right, we could *never* work. We 
are just too different. Besides, I could never afford your 
life insurance on my G-woman salary."

With that Scully turned and hobbled out of the room, 
leaving Mulder standing there alone as ever. He looked 
about the sterile well-organized room, the stainless steel 
accents gleaming brightly under the harsh lights. As he 
took a strained breath, he could feel his heart begin to 
bleed; the bright red blood dripping silently on the 
sparkling tiles below.

He knew that this was it.

He knew there would be no more discussion on the matter.
                   

                  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


0015hrs
Room 22
Sav-A-Lot Motel
Pittsford, NY


Mulder was way too close for her sanity. She could feel the 
heat radiating off of his lean body, his male essence 
overwhelming her. She could feel her heart pound in her 
chest; the cool sweat dripped down the middle of her 
shoulder blades as the hair on the back of her neck 
literally stood on end.

It had been way too long since the last time that she had 
gotten laid.

"Mulder, would you please lift up your foot? I can't get 
your shoe off." Scully mumbled through tight lips as she  
looked up impatiently at Mulder. The medication that the 
doctor had prescribed had worked all right...too well. 
After they had left the hospital, she had stopped to get 
them both a bite to eat. However, Mulder's roadside stop to 
vomit had put them both out of the mood for Chinese. 

She ended up giving him a Ginger ale, a Percocet and now 
Mulder was the physical equivalent of a six-foot plus wet 
Mulder-noodle.

"You know Scully, I've have fantasized about you undressing 
me like this but I can promise you I wasn't this half out 
of it." Scully heard Mulder breathe, as he closed his eyes 
and fell down back on the musty garish bedspread in a vain 
attempt, she realized, to make the room stop spinning.

Scully removed his last shoe and sock. "Shut up Mulder" she 
replied as she sat back down on the floor. Looking up at 
the cracked, mildew covered plaster; Scully blew her well- 
mussed hair from her face in frustration.

"I can't believe Skinner pulled us off the case, Scully 
when we were so close to finding out the truth." Mulder 
brought his hands up to make a point but when confronted 
with the concept of gravity, they fell back down with a 
thud. Although Skinner had called when Mulder had been 
already medicated, Scully knew his mind was still lucid 
enough to be a pissed as hell.  

"Mulder..." Scully warned as she stood up slowly, every 
muscle of her body aching. As bad as it was now, she knew 
that it would be that much worse in the morning. All that 
she wanted was to take a hot shower and go to bed.

Mulder chuckled as he looked about his less than spacious 
room and rubbed his hand across the tense lines of his 
forehead. "Jesus, Scully. What the hell did she give me, an 
elephant tranquilizer?"

"She gave you  Percocet, Mulder." Scully slid down to sit 
next to him, and brushed his hair off of his forehead, 
noting the steadily growing bruising with concern. "That 
and an empty stomach," Scully continued with mild 
amusement, "added to not having any sleep in a while has 
literally made a wuss out of you. I must admit that given 
your size, this is quite unusual but-" 

"I'm not a wuss..." Mulder pouted, as he speech became 
slightly weaker and a little muddled. "I'm just a bit 
*woozy*. Why did 'kinner pull us?"

"It seems our presence caused a few too many questions to 
be asked. You have to admit that our exit was a bit 
overblown wouldn't you say?" Scully shook her head and 
sighed as she reached down and began to unbutton Mulder's 
shirt, the warm skin of his stomach scorching her 
fingertips. It took all that she had to remain as 
professional as possible but as she quickly made her way 
down his chest, revealing inch after inch of enticing chest 
hair, she found herself growing more and more uncomfortable 
by the minute. 

"Are ya 'cusing me of bein' anythin' less 'den s-s-subtle,
Sully?" Mulder slurred as he tried rather unsuccessfully to 
sit up.

"No, Mulder... Scully replied with a strained chuckle, 
amused by his antics. "I'm accusing *us* of being anything 
less than subtle."  Now was the test of her mettle. With 
Mulder's shirt unbuttoned, all that was left was his pants. 
'I'm only human...how much more am I expected to take?' Now 
it wasn't as if she hadn't undressed him before, since she 
had on several occasions. But this was different. 
Everything was different now.

"Well...." Taking a deep breath, Mulder seemed to force 
himself to go on as he brought himself rather unsteadily up 
onto his elbow. "At least'r not so subtle moves got da 
'thorities wha' they wanted...now the 'dents of Jefferson 
road can res' easy knowin' their cemetery's safe once'gn."

"Mulder, even though we didn't find this Ghostly Hitchhiker 
of yours, we did make a difference." With a surge of 
courage she never knew she possessed, Scully reached down 
and grabbed the buckle of his belt in her damp palm, the 
cool slick metal causing a slight shudder throughout her 
body.

"Y're right Sully...." Mulder fell back as Scully undid his 
belt, his stomach muscles quivering noticibly under her 
touch. "Its jus'...so 'ired of bein' 'lone."

"I know, Mulder." Scully leaned back against the dented 
faux wood of the headboard, as she let out a soft sigh of 
resignation. She did know. She had once told someone that 
'loneliness was a choice'. And it was. It had been hers, in 
anticipation of the future. Now it seems that they were 
both destined to remain that way.

Following the sweet alto of her voice, Mulder turned and 
nestled his face into her thigh, burying himself into her 
clothing. "You sssmell so goo'," Scully heard as she looked 
down and saw Mulder sniffing her. "I 'ream nigh'... 'ow you 
sssmell... 'ow ya 'aste." Only in sleep would Mulder find 
the peace that he desired to have concerning Scully.

"Mulder..." Tears threatened to fall from Scully's eyes and 
she struggled to keep control. She tipped her head back and 
blinked, hoping that she wasn't too late. She needed to get 
out of there. She had promised herself that Mulder would 
never have to be subjected to her weakness again; She had 
made enough of a scene at the cemetery. 

"I've...though'...us bein' 'gether." Scully watched 
tearfully, as Mulder's breaths became slow and even, his 
face grew slack. "'ave you?" Mulder asked almost 
unintelligibly as he brought his hand over to rest on her 
stomach, his fingers stroking the soft material that he 
found there.

"Mulder, I...." Scully closed her eyes and a bright blush
stole across her fatigue touched features. She could feel 
the branding heat of his touch imprinting her as his 
forever. 

"Sully?" Mulder tugged absently at her blouse, as if his 
mind was taking its very last lucid thought. His limbs 
appeared heavy as he tried to move them; his lips parted 
and pulsed with every breath that he took. 

"Yes, yes I have...." Scully replied as leaned over and 
brushed her lips across his forehead. Slipping out from 
under him, Scully reached down and pulled the thin extra 
blanket up and around Mulder's neck. With a final loving 
ruffle of his hair and a sad smile, Scully turned and 
limped away.

                   *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A Faith Lost
by Joylynn Wing 
aljoyw@a-znet.com
Part 6 of 9                  


                       ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 
0045hrs
Room 23
Sav-A-Lot Motel
Pittsford, NY


Drip...Drip...Drip....

The soft sounds of slowly dripping water filled the 
cramped, mildew stained bathroom. In the dim light just 
above the crack in the mirror, Dana Scully carefully 
inspected the pale lines of her face.

Mulder was right. Where once a vibrant and young woman 
stared back, now a tired, lined face existed. Even the hair 
was different. Once striking, it now appeared dull and 
lifeless: as if the fire that once smoldered now was just a 
few scattered embers blowing about in the dry desert.

Leaning over the rust-streaked sink, Scully poured some 
facial cleanser onto her hand. Reaching up, she rubbed the 
pearly white substance into her face.

Every night she did the same thing, a ritual never broken 
since she was in college. Once she rinsed that off, she 
would then apply her eye cream and her moisturizer.

Ritual.

Her life was dictated by it, when not running around after 
Mulder *god* knows where. And even then, she would adapt 
her routine as much as possible when time permitted. To 
her, it was more than just what it appeared on the surface. 
It was almost compulsive; a means of relieving stress and 
restoring order into a life which oftentimes seemed out of 
control.

Reaching for the threadbare face towel, she carefully 
patted her almost translucent skin dry. Looking into the 
mirror once again, her mind mused upon her life and where 
it had taken her until now.

Where had that once young woman gone? What in her life had 
killed that blazing fire which had once burned so brightly 
inside her?

She hadn't even noticed the subtle changes consciously 
until a few weeks ago. She had just gotten up one morning 
and noticed that time had finally caught up to her.

Of course, it was just an observation. Scully had never 
been the type to obsess over her looks. It wasn't as if she 
wasn't aware that she was attractive. She knew that she 
was, however for her it was never the focus of her life.
Turning off the light, Scully turned and walked back into 
her dilapidated room.

Now that she was consciously aware of her outward changes, 
Scully also was beginning to notice inward ones as well.
She was tired. Not just a physical kind of tired but an 
almost emotional as well as spiritual kind of tired.

It was as if something was missing.

Stepping up to her suitcase, Scully reached in and pulled 
out a pair of undergarments which she then tucked into
the pocket of the suit that she was planning on wearing the 
next day. Stepping back, Scully shook her head as a nagging 
feeling began to creep up on her.

If she was missing something, then what was it? 

Scully looked about the room unconsciously, as if somehow 
*miraculously* the missing item would return.

Not likely...

Could she get it back? 

Suddenly a flash of silver filled her meandering thoughts. 
Concentrating, it flashed once again; this time the form 
emerging from the haze of the evening's events.

The Rosary...in the cab they had been in.

The Rosary? Scully knew that it was somehow significant.
It *had* caught her eye for a reason that she wasn't quite 
sure of.

Scully reached into the satin pocket of her suitcase, where 
she usually kept loose items and pulled out a soft gray 
velvet bag with a gold-toned pull string cord. Sitting down 
on the musty bed cover, Scully loosened the string and 
emptied the contents into her palm.

Amethyst faceted beads sparkled on a silver gold chain:
just like the chain she had seen in the cab. 'Is this what 
I am looking for? Is this the truth that I am missing?'

'Or am I just finally losing my mind'

She fervently hoped that it wasn't the latter.

Scully clenched it tightly in her hand, the rough edges of 
the metal cutting into her tender skin. She had been given 
the Rosary on the day of her birth as a gift from her 
great-grandmother Scully. It had been with her on her 
baptism, her first communion, and beyond.

Scully knew that the Rosary was the ultimate symbol of her 
faith. It's purpose was to help keep in memory certain 
events of the mysteries in the history of salvation, and to 
thank and praise God for them.

Faith...that was what it had all came down to.

Was *that* what she was missing?

Scully closed her eyes; the dark auburn lashes falling 
gracefully down onto her softly freckled face. A wave of 
realization hitting her like a powerful tornado as it made 
its way across the landscape of her soul.

Her Faith...

Throughout all of her years in the X-Files, it had been her 
saving grace. Her faith in herself and in God: in the 
innate goodness of human kind, in her government and in 
Mulder had given her the strength to continue the fight.

And somehow...somewhere...she had lost most of it.

Sure she had found Mulder.

In that lonely, dark, dust-ball infested hallway when she 
had come to tell Mulder that Diana was dead, she had 
realized that there was no way on God's earth that she 
could live without him.

She could no longer fight the very thing that she wanted 
most in the world to happen.

But at the same moment that she had confessed to him that 
she no longer knew what to believe in and what to trust, she 
had lost a faith which had driven her most of her life. 
Just because of a ship that had been found in the sand.

Mulder had been right. She wasn't the same. But not of his 
doing as he believed. She knew that she was to blame. She 
had allowed it to happen. And not only had she been hurt by 
her mistake, but Mulder had been also. So much so, that she 
had literally pushed him away.

Loneliness was a choice; and she had made hers.

Mulder might just be a lost cause to her; but she wasn't to 
herself.

Pulling her fingers apart, Scully allowed the Rosary to 
dangle from her hands. Her Faith was in her hands and she 
planned to get it back. The night was late and much of her 
Faiths would require work but one particular one still was 
within her reach.

Holding the Rosary in one hand, her mind mused upon the 
meaningful words that she had learned so many years ago.
'I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven 
and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only son....'

Scully looked up from her trembling hands; as tears -her 
offerings in the name of her faith- began to fall down her 
flushed cheeks.

Even as much as she would like it to be, she knew that the 
answer wasn't as simple as that. 

Her mother had once told her that it wasn't what was on the 
outside that counted; it was what was on the inside that 
counted in faith. As much as the rituals meant to a true 
believer, it wasn't the measure of their true worth.

Scully knew that just saying the words didn't count, she 
needed to feel them with every beat of her heart. And this 
wasn't the way.

Unfolding her fingers, she let the Rosary fall to the bed 
below. As Scully took a deep breath and closed her tear-
stained eyes, she brought her fingers up to clasp the cross 
on her necklace as she allowed her swirling thoughts to 
center upon faith and what it meant to her.

'Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the 
evidence of things not seen...'

If she were to have concrete proof of such things there 
would be no need for faith. And in that, there would also  
be no free will.

'Through God all things are possible.'

She had lost so much on her journey to this point; she had 
even gone as far as to take the life of another when the 
person was unarmed.

Maybe this all was part of the plan. Maybe all that she had 
seen and experienced was for a reason.

She wasn't sure if she was ready for that leap of faith 
just yet but she was willing to believe that maybe there 
still was room for God in her life. With that she knew that 
all other things would fall into place.

Outside of Scully's room, a cool drizzling ran began to 
fall; a solemn promise of life to the earth below.


                     ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


0130am
Jefferson Road, Route 252
Pittsford, NY

Fox Mulder had always known that the truth was out there.
His whole adult life had been spent in pursuit of that 
belief. As he sped down Route 252, he once again was in 
search of his elusive quarry. Skinner's pulling them off of 
the case, of course, wasn't enough for Mulder. And that was 
why he was driving down 252, the lonesome sound of the 
crickets his only living company.

As the droning sounds of the radio filled his ears, Mulder 
gently rubbed his forehead, tracing the tape that covered 
his wound. After a small nap and a hot shower, Mulder felt 
almost human. The pounding, which he had felt earlier, had 
finally worn off and now his head felt like it was stuffed 
with cotton. Even his back felt better; he was just a 
little stiff. 

Physically, he was almost healed but his mind and heart 
were in turmoil.

Who was Ascension Katherine? Was she really the perpetrator 
of the supposed haunting or had it been after all just 
another load of lies to cover up another ugly truth?

From the testimony until now, she certainly hadn't meant 
any harm. In fact she had helped to improve the lives of 
the people she had touched. What he wouldn't give at that 
moment to have some of her guidance. Back at their motel, 
Scully was just in the room next door to his but to him 
she was a lifetime away. She had basically admitted her 
feelings for him for the first time, and he had shot the 
moment all to hell by pushing her away. 'I'm a fuck-up...a 
real son of a bitch.'

He had turned down the most important person in his life,
hell the *only* person that mattered anymore, because of 
his fear.

Mulder slammed his fist into the cool curve of the steering 
wheel, anger surging through every cell of his being. What 
was he going to do? Could he just go on living the lie? 
Pretending that they didn't mean anything to one another? 
Would their friendship be enough? How could it be enough on 
those nights when he feared he couldn't take another step? 
Would their friendship even survive? Mulder wasn't sure of 
anything anymore. The only thing that he was sure about was 
that his life had been in a tailspin since his mother died.

True, their relationship hadn't been the idyllic one; but 
it was all that he had. She was his only living link with 
the past...a past which he knew now to be false. But she 
was his mother...and he loved her.

She had become another person struck down in his life.
And the one thing that he was sure of was that the only 
person left, the one that he held in the highest regard, 
would not be a victim any longer. He had tried to push her 
away more than once and she had steadfastly refused, of 
that he was eternally grateful. But since they were to be 
together, he would have to keep her at arm's length even if 
it destroyed him.

And in the end he knew that it would.

Mulder shook his head and rolled down the window, allowing 
the cool night air to caress his heated flesh. As he drove 
along, the lights that lined the roadway flashed by, their 
distinct lines blurring into one. The light illuminated the 
road and he noticed that the golf green for Locust Hill 
Country Club was coming up on his right. 

Shaking his head, Mulder looked ahead heeding it no other 
thought. His answers were not here after all. Maybe they 
never were. He was just as empty as ever.

He was just running away. Just as he always had.

He had always thought that when he had finally found his 
sister, he would find the truth. But in reality, he was as 
far from it as he ever was.

"Agent Mulder, I have been waiting for you."

Mulder nearly gave himself whiplash as he turned violently 
off the road and slammed the car in park. The hairs on the 
back of his neck stood up and he could feel dozens of 
insects crawling all over his body. As he slowly turned to 
face the empty passenger seat next to him, his apprehension 
grew as Mulder realized that it wasn't so empty anymore. 
Seated next to him in a flowing white gown was the woman 
from the picture on the mausoleum. It was Katherine, the 
entity herself. 

Mulder blinked slowly, his shock clearly written over his 
dark, distressed features. "How did you-"

"I knew you would come to me. It was only a matter of 
time," Katherine smiled and chuckled as she crossed her 
pale slender hands in her lap. "However, I couldn't count 
on you to stop long enough so I had to take matters into my 
own hands."

Mulder's jaw hung down on his chest, drool literally 
pooling there and dripping down onto his T-shirt. He tried 
to speak, tried to utter some semblance of discernable 
communication but his brain just wouldn't cooperate. For 
the moment, it was a lost cause.

"As you know," Katherine continued softly. "Sometimes the 
truth *can* be very elusive. In this existence, time is so 
finite that when you do finally find it, you need to treat 
it as the priceless gift that it is."

"I d-d-do," Mulder finally stuttered as he tried to keep 
his eyes on the road. In the distance he could make out 
bright, jagged flashes of light, a storm rolling in from 
the lake. He brought his forearm up to wipe the drool off 
of his chin, "b-b-believe me I do." Still stunned by the 
unearthly vision, Mulder's mind was just starting to 
comprehend the importance of the moment.

Right before him was the very thing that he had came all of 
this way for. Not only that, she seemed to have taken an 
interest in him.

"Really?" her blue eyes challenged him. "I am not so sure 
about that. I believe that you *want* yourself to believe 
but I think that you know the *real* answer to that. 
Remember, things will happen as they are meant to be, 
if you let them."

Mulder shook his head, a shiver running down the length of 
his spine. Even though her words had been vague, Mulder 
knew exactly what she had been talking about. Her words 
seemed to address exactly what he had been thinking about 
just before she had dropped in: his decision about Scully. 
"That's what I am trying to prevent," Mulder replied. "The 
inevitable."

"Before you can truly love another, you must first be 
willing to try to accept yourself." Her rich alto fell from 
long cold rose bud lips, the words filling the silence of 
the night about them. 

"Life is a lesson of love-in love. Life is also a lesson of 
trust-in trust. Who are you? What do you want to be? Until 
now, you have lived your life in the definition of others 
-who you are to them- but now you are free. Now is time 
that you answer those questions for yourself and when you 
do, what you believe and have trust in *will* be. If you 
let fear be your light -your truth- it will only steer you 
further into the darkness. And in the end...is that what 
you really want...for you...for her?" 

"It isn't that easy." Mulder ran his fingers through his 
tussled locks, as his frustration mounted. "My life is way 
too complicated." Every single word she uttered tugged at 
the torn scraps of his bleeding heart. His decision was in 
reality dooming them both to a life of pain, a life bathed 
in the darkness. Neither would ever leave the other, yet 
they would never be together.

"If that is what you are willing to believe, then it will 
be." She replied as tears glittered brilliantly in the 
sapphire depths of her eyes. She then looked out the 
windshield, her striking features belaying her distress.

"How do I let go?" Mulder asked as he waved his hand about 
in the air. "How do I just let things happen?" Mulder knew 
the answer even before finishing what he had said. He had 
lived his personal and professional life by it all of these 
years, until now.

A bright smile crept across her almost translucent 
features; her eyes lit up with the light of a thousand 
stars on a dark night. "Faith, Mr. Mulder. Believe and it 
will happen."

Then as suddenly as she appeared, she disappeared. Only the 
sweet smell of roses and her parting words were left as 
evidence of her visitation.

"That's easy enough for you to say...damn it." Mulder again 
slammed his fist into the steering wheel, as he noticed for 
the first time that he was sitting outside of gates of 
Ascension Cemetery. Suddenly another flash of lightning 
caught his eye as the heavens poured forth, the rain 
bouncing off the hood of the car. "You make it sound so 
simple yet you have no clue what our lives are like...what 
I have been through...what Scully has been through...."

Mulder's voice cracked on the last few words and his voice 
then trailed off, his last syllable accentuated with a loud 
rumble of thunder. It just couldn't be that easy. Nothing 
was ever easy for him or for Scully. Their paths -by 
necessity- weren't that way. 

'If you let fear be your light, your truth, it will only 
steer you further into the darkness...'

Those words haunted him like a silent wind sliding over the 
rolling hills of his memories.  

As Mulder leaned back against the headrest of his seat, the 
rain began to blow into the open window of the car; soaking 
him instantly, but Mulder didn't even notice. His thoughts 
were thousands of miles away, more confused than ever. He 
had been so set in his convictions but now his heart just  
wasn't in it. 

For all of his life he had been searching for something to 
fill the emptiness which he felt in his heart. He had 
always thought that was his sister Samantha. However, she 
hadn't filled it as he had thought she would when he had 
discovered what had happened to her. He was still 
searching: but for what? What had she represented to him?

"Unconditional love...'his unconscious mind offered.

In a house full of violence and anger, she had been his 
love.

He had been looking for unconditional love and acceptance 
and Scully had been the only person in his adult life to
offer it to him. However, did he have enough faith to 
believe in what he really wanted, really needed? Was his 
faith enough?

When hadn't it been enough? It was what had gotten him this 
far.

'I want to believe...'

Weren't those the very words that he had lived his whole 
life by?

How could he have faith in the existence of little gray 
aliens, Bigfoot, and past-life experiences and not have 
the same conviction of faith in his and Scully's love?

'I'm such a hypocrite. I would go to the ends of the earth 
for a werewolf but I am too afraid of taking a simple leap 
of faith.'

What the hell had he become?

He had sold out to the darkness just as his father had.
And he had promised himself that he would never do that.

Suddenly, a long lost memory resurfaced and a shiver crept 
up his back like a cat in the fog.

Diana had been right.

Even in the secrecy of his dreams, his failures were 
reality. When he had been stricken with the unexplainable 
illness, which had left his mind a jumbled mess of other 
people's visions and thoughts, he had hallucinated the path 
not taken. Diana had told him that he had lived his life 
without any true responsibilities, that he had been 
literally living his life as a child.

And by Jesus, she was right.

He had made himself the martyr for all of the bad things 
that had happened about him. He had taken the guilt of the 
world upon his shoulders and had allowed it to paralyze him 
with its control. He had been refusing to really live, 
fearing of what it would do to others. He had stood back 
and hid like a coward in the darkness, instead of seeking 
his own happiness.

As another cold blast of rain pelted him in the face, 
Mulder finally gained enough awareness to roll up the 
window, his own tears mixing with the raindrops that slid 
down his face.

~ see the storm is broken
in the middle of the night ~

With the windows closed, the soft sounds of the radio 
filtered through the pelting rain.

~ nothing left here for me 
it's washed away
the rain pushes
the buildings aside ~

What did he have left? His family all gone, most of the 
answers that he had been seeking found, what was there left 
to fight for...to live for....

~ i watch it lift up to the sky
i watch it crush me
and then I die ~

Sure, he was free. But what had that gotten him? His 
freedom had put him in the biggest prison that he had ever 
been in. His faith was gone. The strength which had driven 
him on this journey all of these years was gone and he was 
sacrificing the only thing that had ever mattered because 
of it. And in the end, he knew he was sacrificing himself 
as well.

He was already a prisoner of the darkness.

~ speak to me baby
in the middle of the night
speak to me
hold your mouth to mine ~

As the music played on, Mulder pulled the car back out onto 
the road, the water splashing behind him. He wasn't sure 
where he was going, but he knew that he had to get out of 
there.

~'cause the sky is breaking
it's deeper than love
i know the way you feel
like the rains outside
speak to me ~


                         ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A Faith Lost
by Joylynn Wing
aljoyw@a-znet.com
Part 7 of 9
                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

0230am            
Room 23
Sav-A-Lot Motel
Pittsford, NY

Faded moonlight flowed across the dingy motel carpet like 
spilled milk, its tendrils touching and illuminating the 
floor beneath and the rumpled blankets of the bed in the 
center of the room like a long lost friend. Outside, a 
flash of bright light and a rumble of thunder rolled by,
the companions silently stealing into the room.

Under those mussed covers, a slight figure writhed almost 
violently, as soft sighs and moans filled the night air.
A flash of sun-kissed copper brightened the muted colors of 
the bed-clothes as it peeked out from beneath. Full lips; 
lax in the eddies of sleep, parted....

"Muldeeer...."

The name, uttered softly into the night, floated with the 
vague moonbeams that dragged shadows beneath them. Behind 
fluttering lashes, a world of fantasy for only one was 
playing before unfocused blue eyes. 

Another sigh escaped from rose petal lips, as the blankets 
once again quaked upon the thin mattress. The figure moved 
about, sleep laden limbs heavy with sexual tension. 

Dana Scully, Special Agent of the Federal Bureau of 
Investigation, was having a dream. A very special dream born 
of a heart mourning what it could never have. Just as in 
nights in the past, the moment that her head had touched 
the pillow, the logical side of her persona had stepped 
back and her heart stepped forth.

Flesh against flesh, hearts beating as one; the two 
twilight lovers moved in time, their soul-choreographed 
dance as old as the cosmos about them as the spiraled 
further and further into heaven's awaiting arms.

Time didn't exist for the two of them, their love creating 
a world all of their own.

Soul mates reunited as it was in the beginning, their 
combined life force ebbing in one with the pulse of the 
creator.

As she felt her lover's hands upon her tender flesh,
her body quickened; her breaths became ragged and fantasy 
melded into reality as her small slender hands slid down 
her stomach, under her nightclothes and buried themselves 
between her fully parted legs.

From the reverie of sensation in which Scully was lost, she 
could hear faint noises coming from across the small, 
cramped room and she nestled further into the thin blanket. 
She was loath to leave the nest that she had created for 
herself because for the first time since she had heard 
Mulder say those painful words, she actually felt warm. The 
warmth encircled her like a long lost lover, filling her 
empty bed and aching heart.

The noise grew louder, its unfocused dim quickly starting 
to resemble the sound of insistent knocking. It reached 
into her dreams and pulled her forth.

"Scully...open the door!" a familiar voice called out, its 
timber sending chills throughout her.

Dilated blue eyes met the milky shadows of night.

In a flash, they were gone. Only to awaken once again, but 
this time swirling hues of grays, browns, and flashes of 
silver filled her brilliant eyes, focusing her environment 
before her. Scully shook her head slowly, shaking the dusty 
corners of her mind free.

'I have to stop tormenting myself like this,' Scully mused 
as she pushed back her twisted bedclothes and got up out of 
her bed.

As the knocking grew more insistent, Scully walked quickly 
across the soiled carpeting, the cool night air raising 
gooseflesh across her burning sweat-slicked skin. Her body 
still tingled with the after affects of her erotic dream, 
and she had to take deep, even breaths to calm her 
irregular breathing. When was her wishful dreaming going to 
end? When would she be able to fall asleep for once and not 
have him haunt her dreams? 

Stepping up to the peephole, Scully went on unsteady tiptoe 
as she peered outside.

'So much for peace and quiet,' Scully mused as she shook 
her head and sighed. Outside, standing just in front of the 
door was the man that had caused such a stir. 

Quickly unlocking the door, Scully threw it open. "Mulder?" 
Scully questioned as she moved aside for him to enter. 
"What's wrong?" 

Scully watched him look at her and shake his head as if in 
disbelief, like he couldn't comprehend what he saw. Mulder 
stepped forward, his eyes growing wide with curiosity. She 
could sense something feral in his presence and Scully felt 
waves of uneasiness overcome her, and she lowered her face 
slightly from his intensely scrutinizing stare.

"Mulder?" Scully asked again, as she watched him inhale 
deeply and lean forward, his nostrils flaring slightly.
'What the hell is he doing?' Scully mused as she looked 
down at herself, searching for whatever Mulder seemed to 
think was wrong.

'Uh oh....'Scully felt a bright blush creep across her 
face. She knew what was wrong, he had seen her many ways, 
on numerous occasions, but she had never looked or smelled 
like this. She could see a fine sheen of sweat glisten on 
her glowing skin, just above her neckline and she 
instinctively knew that her eyes were so dilated that they 
had to appear nearly black. And as for his sniffing, she 
herself could smell her arousal in the air.

This was not good.

Preferring denial to the alternative, Scully gestured for 
him to enter and Mulder mumbled "Scully, we need to talk," 
as he stumbled into the room, nearly knocking her over in 
the process. A rumble of thunder filled the room, and the 
pervasive smell of fresh rain followed him in as she shut 
the door. 

"Mulder, what's wrong?" Scully stepped up to him, her feet
instantly soaked by the rapidly pooling puddle of water at 
his feet. Flipping on the light, she really saw Mulder for 
the first time; dark hair slicked back and plastered to his 
head, his T-shirt and jeans dripping wet and tightly molded 
to his body. 

Her dumbfounded mind supplied her with only one word as her 
arousal tugged at her burning abdomen...YUM. He looked so 
damn good she could eat him up in a second, but not before 
she screwed him until he screamed for mercy.

Mulder began to pace, his wet sneakers squeaking loudly in 
the stark silence of the dimly lit room. "I s-s-saw...she 
said...." Scully watched him as he nervously about the 
room, as if he were trying to think of something to say but 
his mind wasn't cooperating.

"Who said what, Mulder? What did you see?" Scully placed 
her hand on his trembling shoulder, totally unaware of what 
was making Mulder act so bizarrely. Scully was scared. Was 
the injury to his head worse than what they had thought? 
Was the medication that he had taken earlier having an 
adverse affect on him?

"I s-s-still can't b-b-believe it." Mulder shrugged her 
touch off as if it were fire. He walked a few steps over to 
her mussed bed and sat down on it, still oblivious to the 
tremendous amounts of rainwater now sliding down onto 
Scully's mattress.

Scully shook her head and went into the bathroom. Mulder 
wasn't going to make any sense soon. Grabbing a couple of 
threadbare towels, her mind resolved itself to first 
things first. A shivering and very wet Mulder was making a 
colossal mess in her room, and he needed to be attended to.

As she walked out, she could hear Mulder attempting to 
vocalize once again, but his speech was still halting and 
garbled. His chill had seemed to set in further, every inch
of his body quivered.

"Mulder, you're babbling." Scully offered as she walked 
over and dropped the towels on the bedclothes. "Here...
let me get you out of those." Grabbing the hem of his 
shirt, with a doctor's  eye, she pulled it up and over his 
head. Her vision took in the bruises and lacerations, which 
he had accrued, in his earlier encounter. Then, with a sigh 
of pity, she took the ragged scratchy towel and draped his 
wet flesh with it. 

As Mulder sat there quietly, she once again pulled off his 
sneakers and socks as she sat there and quietly watched 
him.

"Now tell me what is going on. How did you get so wet?" 
Scully sat down next to Mulder, the cheap mattress dipping 
noticeably under their combined weight. Even though 
Mulder's jeans were as wet as the other articles that she 
removed, she knew there was no way in hell that she could 
take them off. She might just lose her mind for good.

"I s-s-saw her, Scully. I saw Ascension K-K-Katherine." 
Mulder lifted his eyes from his lap, his hazel meeting her 
bright blue. 

Scully sighed and reached for the other towel as she stood 
up and stood in front of him. "Mulder, now you know that is 
impossible. You must have had a dream, a vivid one at that, 
probably caused by the medication that you took earlier." 
She took the towel, brought it to his head and began to rub 
his hair gently, careful to avoid the small dressing on his 
forehead.

Mulder rebutted, "you d-d-don't understand...I-
I-I went out for a d-d-drive, I c-c-couldn't sleep and she 
just p-p-popped in." His eyes wandered to the partially 
unbuttoned nightshirt that dangled just in front of him. 
He could clearly see the luscious curves of her breasts, 
her normally pale skin now flushed and her barely visible 
nipples peaked and tight.

An arched brow met his words.

"Popped in, huh?" she parroted as she lifted the towel from 
his head. She leaned forward just a bit more and began to 
rub the back of his head. This had taken a sudden turn from 
friendly concern into something quite different.

She could smell him, the fresh smell of rainwater mixed 
with 'him' and she found herself growing further aroused.
At that moment, she had never wanted him more. However, 
since she knew that was a moot point, she would have to be 
content with what she had. 

Reaching further over his shoulder, she grabbed the extra 
blanket at the foot of the bed, and draped it over his 
broad shoulders, on top of the towel. "You will be all 
right after a good night's sleep, Mulder."

Mulder looked at her, his face flushed and unreadable.
"Will you stop mothering me?" Mulder bellowed, his eyes 
wide with anger, as he ripped the blanket and towel off 
himself and threw them to the ground at his feet.

Scully jumped back at his harsh words, her eyes growing 
wide with confusion. "I'm *mothering* you?" Scully asked 
exasperatedly.

"Ok, I'll admit that mothering isn't the right word." 
Mulder spat as he jumped up and started to pace the carpet 
in front of her. "How about coming on to me? Yeah, that's 
it. When you touch me like that...stand so close to me...."

Scully threw her hands up in the air, as she took a few 
more steps back from him. Logically, she knew that Mulder 
would never hurt her, but instinctively she knew this was 
not born of logic. A fire was burning between them, and not 
a hydrant in sight. "Mulder, you're driving me insane. You 
say that we can't be together, and that's fine -whatever-
but then you come in here and flaunt yourself in 
front of me...and expect me not to want you? I think that 
you have finally lost it." 

"What the-" 

In a heartbeat, Scully's back was against the wall of her 
room and she wasn't sure as to how she had gotten 
there. Mulder's looming frame trapped her where she stood 
but she knew that she could bring him down with one 
strategic placement of her knee. However, she had no desire 
to. She could feel the intense heat that he radiated in 
spite of his being soaked and she could see the feral 
look in his dark eyes as his firm flesh pressed into her 
soft body. 

And the only thing that she cared about at that moment was 
that she was completely and utterly turned on. Fear wasn't 
even an afterthought.

Without warning, Mulder reached out and took her hand in 
his, wrapping his long fingers around her wrist. Scully 
shuddered violently at his touch and her eyes closed. As 
she let out a deep breath, she dropped her chin to her 
chest and resigned herself to her fate. She was a woman in 
love, hopelessly trapped by her own emotions.

Mulder lifted her chin up and bright, passion filled eyes 
met his. "Ok, I admit it," Mulder nodded in affirmation. 
"I'm crazy as hell; crazy as hell over you. You do this to 
me! Every time I am near you, I just want to throw you to 
the floor and screw you senseless." 

"Oh God...." Scully breathed nervously, as she looked away 
from him. Now, she was scared. As Mulder gently brushed his 
thumb over the curves of her palm, she found herself once 
again stupefied by his touch. She knew that she should pull 
away; she knew that would be the right thing to do but for 
once she didn't want to be the good girl. Where had that 
gotten her all of these years? Not very far, where romance 
was concerned. A fire burned low in her abdomen as it 
licked angrily at every inch of her being and it called for 
her to throw caution to the wind.

"I want you so bad, Scully, that it hurts." Mulder brought 
her hand up to his mouth and nipped the palm, eliciting 
another shudder for his efforts. Scully watched as Mulder 
took a another deep breath, but this time judging from the 
wicked smile that flashed across the face and the lustful 
twinkle in his eyes, he finally recognized it.

And she knew what he smelled; her hand was what reeked of 
sex, more pointedly, she smelled of thick, delicious female 
arousal. 

With his free hand, Mulder reached out and traced the side 
of her face, her dilated eyes following every move that he 
made with utter detail. "You smell so damn good. I almost 
didn't recognize it...I was so out of it. To know that you 
have touched yourself, to know you feel that way...."

Scully watched as Mulder abruptly pulled his hand back as 
guilt touched his flushed features. "Oh God," Mulder cried 
as he fell to his knees, and buried his head into the firm 
plane of her stomach." I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry." As 
Scully stood there silently, she could hear and feel the 
powerful sobs that tore through his body.

Scully's hands crept down and entwined themselves into his 
sensuously thick, wet hair as she dropped her eyes to look 
at him. "Mulder, you're scaring me." And he was. Mulder was 
acting so irrational that she was way beyond worried. One 
moment he was hot, the next he was cold. This just wasn't 
the man that she knew. Sure, he wasn't the most stable of 
persons on a good day, but he wasn't down right hysterical. 
If she couldn't get him calmed down, she was going to 
seriously consider calling the hospital.

"I need you..." Even Mulder's own barely mumbled words 
seemed to move him tremendously and he buried his head 
further into her abdomen. 

"Mulder, I told you...I'm not going anywhere. It's ok." 
Scully smiled and curled her arms further around him. The 
earlier conversation, that's what this had been all about.
She should have known. Whenever he had been faced with 
losing her in the past, he had done 'strange' things, 
including the near-kiss in his hallway. She knew that it 
wasn't conscious on his part, he wasn't that manipulative.

It was motivated by his intense fear of being abandoned; of 
being left alone. It was dysfunction at its very best. "We 
can get past this...we can deal with what we feel for one 
another and go on," Scully reassured Mulder, her voice 
breaking with the tremendous love she felt for him. She 
knew that she was lying, and she knew that he knew it. 
After eight years of searching for the truth, they couldn't 
live with the lie. The time was now.

It was time to fish or cut bait.

As if he knew what she was thinking, Mulder pulled away 
from her and stood up quickly, pulling her slight body to 
his. From that moment on, all that Scully really knew 
for certain was that it was going to be one hell of a ride. 

"Mulder, what the hell are you doing?" Scully replied 
breathlessly as she squirmed anxiously against him. She 
could feel his rock hard evidence digging into the soft 
sensitive skin of her abdomen and she found herself 
hopelessly turned on further by him.

"I'm putting us both out of our collective misery." Mulder 
replied huskily as he brought his lips to the lobe of her 
ear and sucked it into his mouth. His teeth worried at the
soft, yielding flesh for a moment and then soothed his 
attentions with a quick flick of his moist tongue. 

"Mulder, you've finally lost it." Scully's voice was soft 
and demanding, the calm before Hurricane Scully. 'This 
isn't the answer to anything.' She mused as she tilted 
her head to the side, allowing his warm lips to play across 
her skin. Of course all good intentions in the world hadn't 
the same strength as they had possessed in the past with 
Mulder's touch tormenting her. 

"No, actually Scully...you're the one about to proverbially 
lose it." Mulder breathed into her ear, eliciting tiny 
shivers from her for his attention. His softly uttered 
words sent up red warning flags in her thoughts and once 
again the lustful pull of tension flowed throughout her 
lower body. As he pressed himself once again into her, 
Scully let out a ragged breath, her need nearly destroying 
all higher brain function. 

But Scully wasn't about to give up that easily. Self 
control was a virtue she practiced regularly. Someone 
needed to be the voice of reason and it looked like she was 
the one that needed to be the designated driver.

"In your dreams Mulder," Scully managed to say with one 
last burst of self-restraint as she hurled herself against 
him, trying without success to move him from her personal 
space. Bringing her hands to her hips, she glared over at 
him as he stood his ground. She knew that if they were to 
do this, things wouldn't change...Mulder wouldn't change. 
In the end, Mulder would still be too afraid to make any 
sort of true emotional commitment.

And a cheap night of sex wasn't what she was after.

"If you think that you are going to just make me melt into 
a puddle of lust, you are sadly mistaken. I have more 
control than that." Of course, she was far from the truth. 
She had very little control and she knew it. Panting 
loudly, her panties dripping wet; her features flushed and 
eyes shining, she was the poster girl for lust. 

"Come on Scully, you melt?" Mulder took a step back and 
began to pace back and forth in front of her, his intense 
gaze stalking her like the main meal. Even from where she 
was, she could smell the arousal dripping off of him like 
hot syrup.

"Mulder, we shouldn't do this..." Scully asserted as her 
betraying eyes flickered over his impressive state of 
arousal. Oh my...she couldn't recall about how many of her 
dreams had featured her curiosity about what lie there. 
Sure, she had seen him naked before but that was under less 
than advantageous circumstances. And now right before her a 
dream come true was unraveling, and she was fighting it?

It was true; she had finally lost her mind.

"Don't even try to fight it, Scully." Mulder offered as he 
stopped pacing like a lion in a cage and stepped up to 
stand in front of her. "It's time to stop the games and get 
down to the truth. You said it yourself, we *are* the 
truth. We always *have* been. We've just been too afraid 
of it until now. I almost pushed you away again because of 
it. That stops here and now." Mulder replied through 
gritted teeth, as he wrapped his arms around her and 
pressed his hips unforgivingly into her.

'Oh my God...' Was that what she had thought she had heard?
It couldn't be. Could it?

Scully looked up at him with anticipation, her lips parted 
and moist. She could tell that he was acting out of pure 
animal lust, the look on his face told her as much. But it 
was more than that. She could see the love and devotion 
Mulder was feeling, it glimmered in his eyes like a bright 
sunrise; giving the promise of a new day. He didn't need to 
say the words, and neither did she.

Mulder was right; it was inevitable, they were inevitable. 
Like the waves return to shore, they were drawn together in 
a bond as old as the Earth itself. 

Bringing her hands up to his neck, she entwined her fingers 
into the dark silky hair, which she found there. "Bring it 
on, Mulder. I can handle anything that you throw at me." 

"That's my girl," Mulder breathed as he quickly brought 
both of his hands up to wrap around the curve of her jaw 
and he crushed his mouth to hers. Seven years of sexual 
tension and repression crashed over the well-shored dam 
between them in an instant. Tenderness did not exist in 
this moment, the time for that had way passed. 

From within the inner shells they had both built, both 
opened their hearts and souls to one another. Lips 
embraced, sharing the bridge that they had created 
for each other.

'Mother of God...who would have thought?' Scully found 
herself weakened by his calling. Hot sweet breath tickled 
the curve her cheek; and she trembled. She could feel 
Mulder using his lips to gently tug on her upper one, and 
as he released it, he stroked the bruised flesh with a 
flick of his tongue. 

Scully keened softly, her desire seeking more than just 
this. After waiting it for so long, she wanted it all and 
she wasn't afraid to get it. She opened her mouth fully as 
she leaned forward, pressing her lips forcefully against 
his. She plunged her tongue to his flesh and responded in 
kind, making sure that he knew exactly what she wanted.

In that instant, tongues met, swirling about one another, 
wet flesh stroking wet flesh. It seemed to Scully that 
Mulder was committed from that moment their tongues first 
met. He passionately delved her swollen lips; his tongue 
sliding across her teeth, along the top of the roof of her 
mouth. Desire flowed through her veins like warm honey, 
setting her flesh on fire with his touch. 

Scully could have gone on like this for eternity, but 
Mulder seemed to have other ideas. Scully felt him give one 
more nibble on her bottom lip before he pushed her face 
away from his. Still entangled, they stared at one another 
for a moment, breaths ragged and labored. 

"M-M-Mulder, that was...." Scully stuttered as she stepped 
back from him and shook her head in disbelief. She wished 
that she could say more, she wished she could share all 
that she was feeling, but her mind seemed to fail her.

Lust seemed to have that effect upon her.

"Unfuckingbelieveably amazing," Mulder finished with 
glistening wet lips as his bright hazel eyes glimmered 
softly in the faint light of the motel room. 

"Oh yeah," Scully replied articulately as she lowered her 
forehead hiding her face from his view. A kiss had never 
before had the ability to render her that way. However, she 
had always suspected that with Mulder it would be like 
this; the way that he pursued his goals which such a 
single-minded determination seemed to indicate as much. 

"And this is just the teaser..." Mulder replied as his eyes 
grew narrow, just the outer rim of bright green showing and 
he took a step forward, once again closing the distance 
between them.

"Really?" Scully bantered as she brought the tip of her 
tongue to her upper lip. Her eyes flitted across the lines 
and curves of his chest, taking in everything from the 
delicious dark hair to the small but quite hard male 
nipples. His golden flesh seemed to shimmer in the low 
lighting.

'Hooboy...is it getting hot in here.' Scully mused with a 
small smile. Things were definitely looking up from where 
she was standing. The fire deep within her thighs was 
burning bright, its flames brushing at the very depths of 
her soul. And judging from the excited inhabitant of 
Mulder's skin-tight jeans, he was in an equally aroused 
state.

Mulder then brought his hands down to the waistband of  
said jeans and slowly slipped the button from the hole. 
"Be prepared to have your world rocked." With an arched 
brow and a wink he peeled the wet material slowly down his 
waist, wiggling his hips to help reveal the soft gray 
cotton boxers that barely contained him. His words trilled 
with the challenge, which she knew that he had issued.

"Are you man enough for the job?" Challenge accepted. 
Scully stepped up and with the tip of her nail flicked 
across the ridge of his nipple, eliciting a groan. After 
tweaking the turgid flesh, the tight skin rose even further 
under her inquisitive caress. Then trailed her finger down 
the hair on his chest and stopped just above his open fly.

He was sex on a stick and she couldn't wait for dessert. 

With the tip of her finger, Scully then began to trace 
circles in the dark line of soft hair, which led to his 
sex. Under her touch, Mulder's stomach twitched, and he let 
out in a deep growl. "I'm all the man you'll ever need." 

"Promises, promises..." Scully teased with a sly smile as 
she waggled her finger at him. 

"I'm all action, Scully. And don't you forget it." Mulder's 
eyes grew dark as he tugged his plastered jeans down the 
rest of the way to the floor and stepped out of them.

Scully reached over to assist him with his boxers, eager to 
get a look at the goods and before she could even get a 
good look; Mulder grabbed her bodily around the waist, 
scooped her up over his shoulder, and playfully swatted her 
on the ass. "Nuh uh", Mulder warned tantalizing, as he 
turned around and walked up to the bed.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?! You would think 
that after seven years I could get a *little* peek." Scully 
muttered, as she pulled mischievously at the waistband of 
his shorts. Jesus, had sex ever been this much fun before? 
Nope, not that she could possibly remember. It had been as 
sober as a funeral; all of the impulsiveness was shot to 
hell. Now this was more like it. She liked a man to be 
forceful, dangerous...and boy could Mulder deliver. 

"I'm going to do what I have fantasized about for years..."
Scully heard as Mulder pulled her back over his shoulder 
and dropped her down on the bed with a slight bounce. 
Scully felt her skin burn red hot as Mulder studied her for 
a moment as she sat there and then he smiled the most 
beautiful smile that she had ever seen.

'So this is love,' Scully smiled one of her rare full 
'Scully' smiles in return, the room lighting up like a 
bright sunrise.  'I've waited all of my life to see a man 
smile at me like that.'

Blinking back unexpected tears, Scully scooted herself down 
closer to the edge of the bed and crossed her legs 
nonchalantly. This game was getting too good for it to end 
yet and she wanted to be up close so that she didn't miss a 
minute. "And what is that?" Scully asked innocently as she 
arched a brow in challenge. She watched with lustful eyes 
as he brought his hands to his waistband. 

"Making your toes curl." Mulder replied as he pulled his 
cotton boxers down slowly, revealing inch after inch of 
steel incased in silk. She had been with Mulder during
his many moods: cheerful, melancholy, enraged, sick...and 
all of those moments had blended together over time and had 
influenced every single moment of her life. However, she 
had to admit that never seen him *quite* like this.

Aroused, feral...only for her- a sexual being unleashed 
into the monsoon of their courtship.

Seeing him like this, for her, was too much for mere words 
to describe. She loved him, she wanted him; she wanted to 
spend the rest of her life with him. This was what she had 
been looking for all of her life. This was the kind of love 
that transcended evil, overcame doubt; unconditional love.  
Such a profound feeling was this, that Scully let out a 
ragged breath and closed her eyes as she tried to regain 
some focus. 

When she reopened them, she heard him moan softly as he 
wrapped his strong hands around his cock, stroking the hot  
flesh harder than she would have ever dared. Now was not 
the time for reflection, there would be plenty of time for 
that later. The flesh could no longer be denied.

Scully leaned forward and with her forefinger, traced the 
length of his penis: from the reddish-purple head, along 
the enticing length to the plush nest of wiry curls. When 
*had* been the last time she had ever touched another human 
being in such an intimate, loving way? She couldn't 
honestly remember. But she knew that after today, neither 
of them would ever be lonely again.


                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A Faith Lost
by Joylynn Wing
aljoyw@a-znet.com
Part 8 of 9

                   ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


"Now I am intrigued." Scully breathed throatily as 
she reached down to take his balls into her hands. She 
wanted to taste him: to smell him on her, to imprint 
him on her just like other species did that mated for 
life. When she was old and gray, she wanted this moment to 
be forever etched into her memory through her senses.

However, Mulder had other ideas. He grabbed her wrists 
firmly, "uh, uh...this can wait. I have a much better 
idea." Mulder dropped her hands and as he got down on his 
knees, he uncrossed her slender legs. With an arched brow, 
he brought his hands to her knees and dragged his palms 
down over her quivering flesh.

Scully's eyes rolled back into her head as his fingers 
explored every single inch of her flesh, sending tingles 
down every nerve along the way. Just before he reached her 
ankles, she felt him gently take them in his hands. As she 
opened her eyes to see what he was doing, he pulled her 
right to the edge of the bed. 

"May I?" Mulder inquired with wide eyes as he hooked his 
thumbs into the waistbands of her panties and night-shorts. 

Now how could she deny such polite manners? Scully nodded 
and leaned back against the sagging surface of her 
mattress, all her thoughts lost in the possibilities. She 
knew what was coming next and it was going to be her. 

'Now this is how a man should treat a woman.' Of course, 
she appreciated foreplay just as much as the next woman, 
but sometimes getting to the point was more efficient. She 
wanted it hard and fast; just like she had dreamed of so 
many times before. She wanted to feel him in her soul, deep 
enough to be in her heart, just where her love for him had 
always been. 

She felt out of control; totally at his mercy. And she 
loved every minute of it.

As she watched him through half-closed eyes, he slowly 
pulled the satiny material down her legs, his eyes growing 
wider and more desirous with every inch of pale skin 
revealed. Scully groaned softly, his fingers combined with 
the cool caress of her garments were almost more than she 
could bear. It had been so long since someone had touched 
her so reverently, she swore that she could literally come  
from just that. 

When Mulder finally pulled them off, he sighed, "ah...the 
best seat in the house." Mulder then brought her legs up 
and over his shoulders. "I do believe that I haven't had 
dessert," he teased as he slowly trailed his fingers up the 
sensitive flesh on the inside of her thigh. 

Scully rolled her eyes and huffed a small breath of mock 
indignation as she saw Mulder grin down smugly down at her.
She could feel the cool air on her hot slick folds 
and on the moisture pooling there, sensitizing her even 
more than she ever thought possible. 

The man was deliberately teasing her, and was getting off 
on it. 'He will get some serious payback later,' she 
thought as she thrust her hips, trying to make her point 
quite clear. Just out of the field of her vision, she could 
make out her service weapon, just in case he needed some 
*behavior modification*.

"My, my...aren't you an aggressive woman." Scully heard 
Mulder chuckle, as he brushed his fingers across the tight 
curls of her mons in his continuing journey to the 
sensitive skin of her other thigh. She shivered under his 
inquisition, gooseflesh prickled along her quivering 
curves.

"If you don't get down to business, Mulder..." Scully 
gasped as she felt his humid breath caressing her 
inner self. God, did she love oral sex. Men, in her 
experience, hadn't always been too keen on giving it but 
they loved receiving it. She didn't always climax with 
intercourse, but orally...

Looking between her legs, Mulder smiled and said, "I assure 
you this is all pleasure, Scully." He then ran his fingers 
across her pubic hair once again teasingly before he 
trailed the pads of his fingers down between her swollen 
folds. 

"Muldeeeer!" Scully's chest heaved up and down as if she
had run a marathon, sweat glimmered like tiny diamonds 
across her furrowed brow. Biting her lower lip, she brought 
her hands up to steady her thighs. What the hell was he 
doing down there? a gynecological exam? She was sure that 
it wasn't as if he hadn't see 'it' before. Lifting her head 
up slightly, she looked down at her partner as he carefully 
studied her. 

Then without warning, Mulder touched her clit with the tip 
of his middle finger, and began to make small circles as 
Scully moaned loudly in response. It was as if his simple 
touch had literally burned through every cell in her body, 
the fire then returning to tug deep within her womb. 
Although it felt amazing, it wasn't enough. Gathering her 
self together, she struggled against her sexual fog to lift 
her hips and increase the pressure of his touch. 

"Ooooooooh...Scully. You are so damn hot; I can't wait to 
see you come." Mulder growled hoarsely, as he burrowed his 
mouth deeply against her slit and ran his tongue from deep 
within her vagina to her clit; exploring carefully every 
inch along the way. From the sounds that Scully could hear 
Mulder making against her, she could tell that he was just 
as turned on as she was.

"M-m-m-mulder...so close...." Scully mumbled between 
tightly clenched teeth as she arched her back. She could 
now feel him nibbling on her sweet spot, as his fingers 
traced the outside of her opening with a reverence only 
known by the unknown. She hissed loudly as she dug her nails 
deeply into the soft flesh of her weakening, aching thighs. 
As her body hovered between the sweet tension and release, 
she realized that this was way better than any dream that 
she had ever had. 

Scully wasn't sure how she had gotten to this point so 
soon. She was on that fine edge, looking into the swirling 
abyss but normally, it would have taken a little more work 
to bring her to that point. Maybe it was the moment, maybe 
it was the fact that after so long it was someone else's 
hands, but she wanted to believe that it was more than 
that. She wanted to believe that maybe it was just *being* 
with Mulder after all of the years of sexual tension.

" Scully... It's ok, lose control. I want to see you do 
it." Mulder rubbed her clit but this time flicking it 
harshly back and forth, his teeth scraping her 
hypersensitive flesh. As Scully listened to him continue to 
croon to her, she felt him take her clit between his teeth 
as he thrust two fingers into her, searching for the 
elusive release which he knew was there.

" Oh God...." Scully screamed as she sat up straight and 
entwined her hands into his hair, pulling him into her so 
far that she thought for a moment that he may drown in her. 
However as she felt him suck harder and then literally bury
his entire hand in her, she suddenly realized that it 
really didn't matter anymore. 

He would have died for a good cause.

She was too close to think clearly. Liquid heat traveled 
the same course as her blood and she felt it pool around 
her heart and between her thighs. It had weight, and it sat 
heavily on her. But now that burning pressure which had 
been building steadily until now, had reached to almost the 
point of pain -delicious pain- and she needed her release.

She could hear the moist sounds that he was making with his
movements. Suddenly, the moans and soft sighs that he was 
making as he was doing this to her sent her over the edge. 
Bright speckles of light: violets, reds and blue flashed 
before her eyes, as she felt the ripples begin to start.
 
"God, Scully.... You are so beautiful." Scully heard 
Mulder moan loudly, just before she lost it totally,  
thrashing about in ecstasy as surges of pleasure hit like 
waves during a storm on the sea. Scully fell back, her 
vision going black as she drowned in the sweet waters of 
oblivion.


                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

0345am
Room 23
Sav-A-Lot Motel
Pittsford, NY

"Hey, Scully...that was just the first course." Mulder said 
as he leaned over and brushed her damp hair from her face.
As sure as he was of little gray aliens and government 
conspiracies, he was sure that he had glimpsed  heaven in 
her eyes just before she had came. Of course, he had 
imagined seeing it in a much more suitable place than in a 
run down motel, but sometimes he knew that you just had to 
take it as it came.

"Yeah?" Mulder heard Scully sigh as she rolled her eyes 
and let out a noisy breath. Mulder had to admit, even 
without past experience with her, that she had had one hell 
of an orgasm. When she had blacked out, he had brought her 
up into the bed to make her more comfortable. Now, as she 
lay limply in his arms, struggling to gain some semblance 
of functioning, he knew that her climax had literally taken 
everything out of her.

He had never seen another woman come so hard in all of his 
life and frankly he was worried, he *had* woken her up in 
the middle of the night to fly here on very little sleep. 
He didn't want his needs to in any way harm her, and besides 
he did want to give her a night that she would never 
forget. *One* that she would be awake and ready for so he 
leaned over and brushed the damp hair off of her face. 
"However, I think that it might have to wait for another 
time."  

"Excuse me?" Mulder heard Scully reply as he felt a strong 
hand take his penis and squeeze it gently.

"Scully!?" Mulder squeaked like a choirboy as his eyes 
rolled back into his head. He was so close. It had taken 
all that he had had to keep himself from going over the 
edge as he had watched her. As he felt her gently squeeze 
him again, he felt his whole body go weak and he fell back 
on the bed as a shudder ran through him.

He watched as Scully rolled over to face him with a look 
that could only be described as predatory. "Mulder, there 
is no way that I am going to miss this; I have spent way 
too long fantasizing about his moment."

With that she licked her lips and brushed a kiss across his 
parted lips.

"Far be it for me to stand in your way, Scully." Mulder 
watched as Scully brought her lips to his nipple and 
flicked it gently. Mulder moaned as a burning surge of lust
raced straight from his chest to his cock, his erection 
twitching in response. Closing his eyes, he tried to focus 
his thoughts, hoping that he didn't blow the moment before 
it even happened.

As much as he wanted to savor the moment, he didn't want to 
miss the main event. "Scully-" Mulder managed to get out 
before Scully gently put her hand over his mouth.

Lifting her face up, Scully admonished him thoroughly with 
an arched brow. "Mulder," she said teasingly, "shut up."  
With that said, she leaned down and began to drag the tip 
of her tongue down his chest, Mulder's voice silenced by 
her touch.

Wave after wave of desire flowed through his flesh as she 
made her way down his stomach, pausing momentarily to 
create whorls in the thick line of hair just around his 
belly button. The heated moisture cooled quickly, sending 
quivers down his spine. 'Woman, do you get off on torturing 
me or what?' his overactive mind mused as she finally got 
to her intended destination.

"Hmmmm" Mulder heard her hum in delight as she leaned over 
and skimmed her tongue down the underside of his cock, her 
bright eyes twinkling with mischief. If *that* wasn't an ad 
for one of those videos that weren't his, he'd burn them.
Of course, if this became a routine thing, they wouldn't 
matter anyway. 

"Jesus..." Mulder wheezed as he watched her copper tresses 
dance across his abdomen. The gentle caress of her hair 
coupled with the intimate caress she was giving him, caused 
his balls to grow tight with anticipation. He knew that 
this was going to be good. Now he knew that many women 
didn't appreciate the fine art of a good blowjob, but he 
could tell she wasn't one of them. 

Scully looked up at him, arched a brow and after letting 
out a deep breath and wetting her lips carefully,
she opened her mouth and let him slide down her throat. 

" J-J-Jesus, S-S-Scully... " Mulder stuttered as he thrust 
his hips to meet her, his breath cut off even before he can 
finish taking it. As he felt her moist heat envelope him,
he thought that he would die. As the power of intelligent 
speech and thought left him all together, Mulder reached 
down shakily to thread his hands into her hair as he 
grunted in appreciation. 
 
Scully let him out slowly, careful to let her tongue to 
trail quite firmly along the way, as she gently grasped his 
balls in her strong hand, and kneaded the silky spongy 
flesh.

"Uhhhh..." Mulder managed to gasp. He found himself 
fighting the urge to close his eyes, to give himself up to 
the burning waves of ecstasy that threatened to overtake 
him, wanting to see her do this to him. If not, when it was 
over, his denial might just try to tell him it was just 
another dream.

As he looked down, he could just make out the curves of a 
smile. God did he love this woman. 

" Jesus, Mulder. You look so beautiful." Scully whispered 
as she pulled back until just the tip was in her mouth and 
swirled her tongue around it, obviously savoring the 
pre-cum that greeted her there. "I love the way you look. 
Your smell drives me crazy; I just want to bathe in it, 
surround myself in it. I even love the way you 
taste...however I think that I have...that *we* have waited 
long enough. I need to have you inside me."

No words in the English language had ever had such power on 
one man. He literally felt his heart flip-flop, his lungs 
hitching in his chest. With a numbed tongue he watched as
Scully slowly scooted herself up and straddled his hips.

"Jesus, Scully. You are fucking going to kill me." Mulder 
mumbled, infinitely proud of finally being able to make 
coherent speech. He could feel the heat of her body against 
his, the moisture between her legs pooling on his abdomen 
and filling the room about them with her arousal.

"Not until I have had my way with you, Agent Mulder." Mulder 
heard as Scully smiled and started to unbutton her 
nightshirt. His eyes grew wide with anticipation and his 
mouth watered as each and every button that fell away, 
revealing inch after inch of pale, delicate flesh. 

When Scully finally slipped the last button, she opened the 
shirt wide, allowing it to fall off of her shoulders. With 
pursed lips, she brought her hands to her breasts and 
cupped them. Mulder felt himself grow impossibly harder, 
his balls growing so tight he thought that he would die.

"You really *are* psychic, Scully. That is exactly what I 
had in mind." Mulder then flipped them over, putting her 
under him and then nuzzled his face into her mussed hair. 
The essence there was potent, a heady aphrodisiac of her 
faint perfume, soap, baby powder and a thousand other 
things he couldn't identify.

Scully brought her arms up and wrapped them around his 
neck. "No, Mulder. Not psychic, just impatient."

Slowly he pulled back from her swollen lips and then began 
a sensuous exploration with his mouth. 

Mulder kissed, nipped and licked his way down the smooth 
lines of her neck, the pale flesh trembling violently under 
his touch. He breathed in her essence as he finally reached 
the delicate skin of her breasts. They were creamy white, 
lined with faint bluish veins, crowned with tiny blush
nipples. 

Drawn to them, Mulder's lips fell upon the hardened nipple,
his tongue tracing the pebbled flesh beneath.

"Muldeeer," Scully crooned as she reached up and entwined 
her fingers into his hair. "Harder, Mulder." Scully softly 
moaned under her breath as she arched into his mouth. It 
was too much. Scully's whispered words and gentle urging 
were driving him insane. Mulder sucked hard, pulling the 
wet flesh into his mouth as he began to thrust his hips 
into her leg. 

She tasted so good, so damn good, and he knew that he would 
never get enough. She was like a rich red wine, heady with 
a multitude of undertones which he could spend a lifetime 
exploring. And he planned to do just that. 

As Mulder felt Scully's nails dig into his scalp forcing 
him down even harder, Mulder began to bite her gently, 
pulling the hard pink flesh tight with his teeth. Beneath 
him, he could hear Scully's pleas growing louder as she 
called to the heavens for more. But as much as he wanted to 
pleasure her, he was going to embarrass himself if he 
didn't do something to relieve the exquisite pain.

"Scully, I need..." Mulder managed to gasp as he pulled 
back from her and made his way back up to her face as he 
crawled between her trembling legs. Hooded blue eye 
blinked, as a bright smile turned up the edges of her lips. 
Leaning down, Mulder kissed her again, as he brought his 
hand down to cup her mons.

Scully thrust her hips against his hand, their hips pressed 
into one another. It was obvious to him that she was more 
than ready. As Mulder nipped the curve of her chin, he felt 
the warm touch of her hand guide him to where he needed to 
be. And as in fluid motion she pulled him inside of her.

"Oh God," Mulder heard Scully whisper, as he slowly 
sheathed himself centimeter by precious centimeter until he 
could not tell where she ended or he began. He could 
literally feel the silken fist of underused tissues stretch 
to accommodate his sweet intrusion. Mulder watched with 
horror, as Scully closed her eyes and took shallow panting 
breaths, allowing her muscles to relax. 

"I'm hurting you." Mulder raised to his elbows and looked 
into her clenched face. As excited as he was, he hadn't 
even considered the obvious size difference. Reaching over, 
Mulder pushed her mussed hair out of her face, trying to 
decide if he should continue or just pull away.

"Don't even think about it G-man." Scully opened her eyes 
and took his face in her hands, stroking the tears, which 
had fallen away with her thumbs. "It has been awhile, you 
know."

Mulder smiled, his hazel eyes bright with relief. Bringing 
his hand to her lips, he gently touched her. "Don't I know 
it. It has been so long you might have to help me out here 
a bit."

"Well, it might help if you-" Scully's voice sounded like 
it was cut off in her throat as Mulder suddenly pulled out 
and buried himself again, this time even deeper. Mulder was 
overwhelmed. He felt safe, accepted -loved- for the first 
time in his whole life. As he held her in his arms, their 
souls finally mated as one, he found himself floating 
between existences. Neither here nor there, but it a time 
of their own. 

This wasn't sex: he had had that. This was making love. 

As Mulder filled her with agonizingly slow, long strokes,
Scully slid her hands down over the curve of his ass. 
Pulling him toward her as she met him half way, she pushed 
him inside her as far as she could. Slick with sweat, his 
body glided and ground into hers, his pubic bone catching 
her at just the right angle. Shuddering in pleasure, Scully 
tucked her face into his collarbone as she tried to hide 
herself from him. 

"Look at me, Scully." Mulder moaned as he reached down and 
lifted one of her legs up and over his shoulder. He was so 
close, the burning pressure had settled in his balls, just 
on the edge of release. Thrusting hard, he rubbed his 
pelvic bone against the top of her pearl to add to the 
friction.  When Scully's eyes finally met his, her face was 
grimace of pleasure. 

With this new angle, Scully began to meet him fully, the 
slap of his wet flesh in hers filling the whispered silence 
of the room. 

Dropping his face into her neck, he sloppily kissed her,
nipping and sucking with each and every push. Nails dragged 
across his back, as he started to feel the fluttering of 
her muscles. Knowing he couldn't go much longer, and 
determined to bring her with him, Mulder leaned over on his 
elbow and with his other hand reached down and began to 
stroke her tender flesh. "Come on, Scully...."

"OH GOD! MULDER!" Scully gasped, the high-pitched cry 
echoing through the sparsely decorated room. She arched her 
back as she glanced up at him through heavy lidded 
eyes. As Mulder lost himself in the passion which he saw 
there, he swore on all that he knew to be real that she was 
quite possibly the most beautiful thing that he had ever 
seen in his life. He closed his eyes, as tears of joy 
filled his vision. He allowed the vision to sink into his 
memory, the moment forever etched upon his thoughts.

As her movements stilled and out of the silence that 
enveloped them both he heard whisper "Mulder," his name 
falling off her tongue like a rich brandy. 

At that moment, he lost it. With a muffled groan, he began 
to thrust hard and fast into her. His thighs slapped hard 
against hers and in the din of his race for release he 
could barely make out her crooning words of encouragement. 
The words, dripping with trust and acceptance, seemed to 
bring his orgasm out of him. "God...oh God Scully..." 
Mulder groaned as he felt her warm hands stroke his balls. 
He could feel his balls tightening and a hot burst of semen 
shot out from the base of his back into her still shaking 
body.

The waves of intense pleasure rushing through his body in 
wave after wave. Bright hues of colors danced before his 
eyes; his ears rang with a music of their very own. He 
had had his share of women in his bed, although not as of 
meeting her, but he knew that it had never been like this. 
The feeling of connection to the one he loved, it had made 
his release more powerful than he had ever experienced or 
even imagined. 

Finally, his strength left him; he fell on top of her, his 
cock still deep within her, his burning lungs struggling 
for a breath of any kind. As her arms slid up his sweat 
slicked buttocks and grasped him tight around the waist, 
his mind went as black as the night outside. From the 
cocoon that he was ensconced, the only thing that he could 
hear was the wild fluttering of his heart.


                    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A Faith Lost
by Joylynn Wing
aljoyw@a-znet.com
Part 9 of 9


                   *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

0630am
Room 23
Sav-A-Lot Motel
Pittsford, NY

Sunrise.

The bright, early morning rays of sun danced in reds,
oranges, and yellows against the smudged glass of the
window.

Dana Scully stood quietly, staring out that window at the
silent world about them. In the wee hours of the night, the
room had grown cold, and Scully pulled the rough blanket
closer to her shivering body.

She felt unguarded, vulnerable; literally naked.

And she didn't mind it.

Funny, how life goes.

For until now, she had gone on walking through her life
with her heart, her most valued treasure a secret from
everyone around her. She had given of her body numerous
times for whatever reason seemed good at that moment but
not of her heart.

However, in the impetuousness naiveté of youth she had done
so many times, and swore that she would never again. For
the receipt of such a precious gift, by those ignorant of
its true meaning, was truly unappreciated and they would
inevitably use it for their own nefarious wants.

Out of the corner of her hearing, she could hear the soft
sounds of a slumbering Mulder and she couldn't help but
smile.

In the light of day, everything seemed new and promising.

Everything...

Mulder and she had finally broken down all of the walls and
the world hadn't ended.

They were still the same people, the same skeptic and
believer, searching for the truth. They still had the same
issues to work on and their differing personas would still
clash at times; they were both just too strongly
opinionated not to do so. But she knew that was what they
were and would always be. The only discernible difference
to her, in the revealing light of day was that there was
more. They were more.

The air about her smelled of them, of the love that they
had made and Scully took in a deep breath, allowing it to
fill her lungs and her soul. So this is what they smelled
like. They smelled of rain, of life, hope renewed. Faith
reborn, as it were.

Scully continued to look out of the window as a bright
smile flitted across her peaceful features. She still might
not have all of the answers that she had been searching for
but she was a lot closer than she had been in a long time.
What she had seen in Africa didn't have to turn her world
up side down. What had happened to her during all of her
years on the X-Files, didn't have to drain her of all of
her faith in the world and in the people around her. She
could still choose to believe.

If she and Mulder could overcome the incredible odds they
faced to finally be together, then why couldn't everything
else just be?

'I want to believe'.

It wasn't just a want anymore.

She did believe.

As visions of the night that they had spent together
flashed before her eyes, Scully's thoughts then turned to
the day ahead. How would she deal with this? How would she
stand next to him and not think of how he smelled and how
he tasted? How would she keep from taking him in her arms
when she knew how it felt to be held by him? How would she
keep this part of their lives separate and distinct from
their partnership?

She knew that she would get better at this. She knew that
she just needed some time to learn to adapt to their newly
evolved relationship. She knew that she was the master of
compartmentalizing everything that wasn't easily
referenced. This would allow her to work as they always
have had without it disrupting the delicate balance that
they maintained.

She also knew Mulder would not have such problems; his
brilliant mind was rarely troubled sudden changes in the
flow of things. In fact he seemed to thrive under such
circumstances. Mulder, with intellect flexible enough to be
open to all extremes would be able to go on, as if nothing
had ever happened.

She had the faith that all would work out as it was meant
to be.

"What are you thinking about?" The touch of his lips
against her flesh startled her momentarily, but then she
eased herself back against the warm body behind her. There
was nothing to worry about. She was safe; for the first
time in her life. The demons that haunted her were, for
once, quiet.

She was with the man that she loved. The man which loved
her enough to go to the ends of the earth for her...the man
which loved her enough to die for her.

"How wonderful I feel." Scully answered honestly as warm
tears came to her tired eyes. She could feel his arms
envelope her and leaned back further into his embrace.
What she had said was truer than she would ever want to
admit. For once in her life she felt alive. Every inch of
her body hummed with the effervescence that ebbed within
every beat of her heart. And it just wasn't her love for
Mulder, that made the difference.

Her very soul was at ease.

"We should have done this years ago." Scully heard Mulder
whisper in her ear and a shiver ran down her spine. An all
too familiar fire sparked low in her spine and it began to
spread through her chest, stealing her breath away.

Scully took a deep breath and for once allowed her body to
experience the feelings of arousal that were assaulting
her, without admonishing herself for them. It had been so
long since she had allowed herself the pleasure of a man's
touch that it still all seemed new to her. "I guess that
the time wasn't right then. However, it is *now*," Scully
breathed as she felt herself grow wet at her very own
words.

"We still have a lot to work on." She heard Mulder reply
and with that Scully felt the blanket fall away and then
she felt his warm, strong hand take her breast. Scully's
eyes literally crossed as she felt him rub his thumb over
her nipple, the feeling tugging deep at her essence.

"Yes, y-y-yes we d-d-do." She hardly recognized the
breathless words as her own. As Mulder's hand made its way
down her stomach, caressing every inch of smooth skin along
the way, she found her words failing her. As they stood
there, he drew runes on her quivering flesh and she felt as
if she would lose her mind.

And if she didn't have him soon, she knew that she would.

"I did see her, Scully. You do believe me, don't you?"
Mulder's voice blew in small puffs against the curve of her
ear and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up
in salute to his attentions. It was now official, she was
losing her mind. She was literally drunk on his touch and
she hoped that it would never end.

As felt his fingers gently grasp her nipple, tugging the
turgid flesh with just the right pressure she gasped, "I
want to believe, Mulder. I really do."

Wave after wave of spiraling pleasure crashed through her
and she fought just to stay above water. "I want to believe
for you and for me," Scully mumbled, quite proud of the
fact that she still had the power of speech. The sexual
lethargy that Mulder was inducing was fast making coherent
thought an impossible task.

"It is just so hard...you...you can believe with the drop
of a hat, your faith is so great. Mine isn't. I have this
almost obsessive need for proof and that seems to undermine
everything else. I know that faith is the belief in things
unseen, to trust that they exist but...I need more. I guess
that I have to reconcile those two parts of myself."

"Well, I happen to like your parts just the way that they
are," Scully heard him chuckle as his previously wandering
hand finally made its way down to where she needed it the
most.

As he brushed his hand across the copper colored curls, her
thighs parted as if by their own accord, hoping that he
would relieve the sweet tension that was building there.
"Mulder...." His name fell from her parted, still swollen
lips like a benediction meant for only him to hear.
"Whatever did happen out there and something *did* happen,
someone or something changed people's lives. That in itself
has to account for something. I would like to believe that
whatever it is also played some part in *our* own little
miracle."

With that said, Scully brought her hand down on top of his,
stilling its seemingly aimless teases. Then with a firm
insistence, she placed it between her legs. "I do love you,
you know." Her voice cracked on the very last word, as he
took her earlobe between his lips and nibbled on it as if
it were one of his sunflower seeds that he adored.

Scully's eyes closed and her breaths grew ragged as his
index finger began to draw small circles upon her most
sensitive spot. She could feel the moisture pooling and
could literally hear it as he continued his firm
ministrations. "I guess that I have always known. I have to
admit though, it is nice to hear," Scully heard Mulder
reply as he gently inserted his finger inside of her.

"Jesus," Scully sighed as her eyes fell closed. "What you
do to me Mulder." As he began to gently thrust his finger
inside of her, she moved her hips in perfect time with him,
the palm of his hand brushing across her sweet spot with
every stroke.

"Actually, it is what I *want* to do to you Scully." Mulder
whispered seductively, as he inserted another finger into
her. "Come back to bed. I was badly injured last night and
I'm sure that Skinner will understand if we can't make the
early flight if I am not quite up to it."

Reaching behind her, Scully took him in her hand and
caressed the sensitive flesh she found there. "Actually
Mulder, I think that you are wrong." Scully's voice was
husky and breathless. "Things definitely seem up from
where I am standing."

Scully heard Mulder growl and she quickly turned in his
arms and brought his head down to her. As their lips met,
all of the outside world fell away into a drop of water
which slowly trailed down the window pane.


                   *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


0630am
Mount Ascension Cemetery
Pittsford, NY

Sunrise: her most favorite time of the day.

For even in death, she was able to experience the wonder of
such a miraculous event. Perhaps maybe even in some way she
was able to better appreciate it without the fetterments of
a corporeal body. Corporeal bodies are weak vessels, easily
damaged. Tethered to such a thing would cloud the mind: not
allowing all of the colors and nuances of the world around
to be fully acknowledged. She just wasn't observing it; she
was part of it.

A bright smile greeted the dawn, as she silently stood
there and listened to the sweet murmuring of the birds,
which seemed to sing for only her. And they did. For as
part of the universal oneness, they were all connected.
It had taken her death and ascension for her to accept
that.

Shaking her head in joy not yet forgotten, the lone figure
dressed in flowing white skirts began to take her ritual
walk back to where she rested. The early morning dew wet
her feet and dragged her skirts; for the chill even by a
non-beating heart was noticeable, but she didn't mind. This
was her time to walk, her time to live.

As she stepped across the resting places of those whom had
decided to allow themselves to slip the mortal coil, she
thought of how she had chosen to stay and how much it meant
to her.

In death, as in life, she had only wished the best for
others around her. In life, it had only gotten her hardship
and grief but in death, it had given her a fulfillment
that she could exist on for an eternity.

And she would.

For until the recklessness of the human condition was
soothed, she planned to continue her journey. Somebody had
to do it. Faith was such a hard thing to keep when faced
with the evils of the mortal world. The human spirit was
too much of a good thing to waste.

When she had seen the couple, which reminded her so much
of her and her own fiancé, walking about in her world with
so much pain in their hearts, she had to help.

She couldn't stand to see them suffer as she and Robert
had.

Robert, even to this day, still visited her grave. She knew
it was from the tremendous guilt that he felt over hurting
her so and ultimately being the cause of her death. His
once dark hair now streaked with gray, his once bright
hazel eyes now dull and lifeless counted the years that
they had been apart.

She knew that he did marry the woman that she had found
with him but she also knew that the same guilt that brought
him back year after year had also destroyed what he and his
wife had had.

Maybe their coming to her had been her payment for all that
she had done in her death. A way of making things right for
her and for Robert. She knew that what you put out into the
infinite universe, always has a way of coming back to you.

Suddenly a warm breeze brushed across her cold cheek and
her bright blue eyes closed. A soft sigh fell off long dead
lips as her mind mused upon two figures moving against one
another in love. Sweet laughter filled the early morning
air as her heart sang and a full teardrop slid down her
pale cheek, her offering for the love that she knew was
finding the light for the first time. Stepping up to her
tomb, she reached over and gently touched the perfect roses
that awaited her there.

Her job was done for now.

Another wrong was righted and she was once again at peace.

With a flash of light, she was gone...reduced to a fine
shimmering mist. The mist floated up with the gathering
winds of the morning and gently settled upon her resting
place where she would bask in that peace.

Until nightfall, for then she would walk again.


A Faith Lost
by Joylynn Wing
aljoyw@a-znet.com
End part 9 of 9