From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: 29 Sep 2002 20:00:34 -0000 Subject: Leaning, Part 1 of 2, R to NC17 by FatCat Source: direct Reply To: FatCat926@msn.com Title: LEANING Part 1 of 2 Posted 9/29/02 Author: FatCat (feedback to FatCat926@msn.com) Website: Please visit the wonderful web site Donnilee has created to house my stories at http://donnilee.tripod.com. Just follow my name to find my stories. While you are there, take a peek at the other wonderful stories Donnilee has at her site. Rating: R to NC17 for language and sexually explicit details Category: V MSR Spoilers: No Requiem, season 8 or season 9 in this world Archive: As you wish, but please keep my name attached. Summary: A series of misunderstandings step in to enlighten Mulder and Scully. Disclaimer: They aren't mine nor anyone's but CC, Fox, 1013, DD, and GA's. These characters are used without permission-no infringement intended. Fox Mulder blinked. "What the hell just happened?" Scully spat. "I... I..." Mulder was speechless. "Mul...der!" He hated it when she drew out his name like that. She might as well have said 'Fox William Mulder!' in the tone of voice his mother and father used when they were least happy with him. "Scully, I..." Mulder tried again but froze when he heard the sniggers from the group of agents watching them from across the room. "Well, I'm waiting." Scully's eyebrow slowly rose to broadcast the depths of her anger. She drew herself up to her maximum height and crossed her arms over her chest. All she needed to do was start tapping her foot and she would have all bases covered. "Scully... I..." Mulder closed his eyes and sighed his defeat. He brought his hand to his brow to try to rub away the pain of his blossoming headache. He couldn't think of a single thing to say that wouldn't piss her off even more. He turned to leave and was shocked when her hand snaked out and grabbed his arm, spinning him to face her. "Hold it right there, Mulder! You and I are going to talk about what just happened. Right here! Right now!" "Scully, I can't. I'm sorry. I was wrong and I deeply and sincerely apologize for embarrassing you." "Apology NOT accepted." Her blue eyes snapped with anger, cheeks flushed and breathing hard, she was so damn beautiful that he could barely resist her. "Agent Harrison is the one that deserves your abject apology. I'm just your partner, I should be used to your behavior by now." Mulder tried. He really did. He attempted to shrug off her hand and turn to leave before she saw the look in his eyes. He felt open, exposed, afraid. "Mulder, if you can't talk to me here, we need to go somewhere we can talk." Scully glared at their audience and all the agents suddenly remembered they were there to complete the paperwork on the arrest just made. "Spooky's in for it now." whispered Agent Reynolds. "Yeah! The missus is going to rip him a new one." Agent Folks laughed. "I wonder if she's mad because he's blown their cover or because they aren't actually..." Agent Ramirez speculated. "What?" said Reynolds, clueless. "You know." Ramirez led. "What?" Agent Folks was clueless too. "You know! Doing it," he said providing the appropriate hand gestures. "Nah! They have to be doing it! No guy would dare to make a move like that if he wasn't protecting his territory." "Yeah, I guess you're right." Folks agreed. "I don't know. With Harrison's reputation, it kinda makes sense. I mean." Ramirez lowered his voice even more. "If I had a partner who was a hottie like Agent Scully, I would want to protect her from Heartbreak Harrison, even if I wasn't doing her." "Yeah, I see what you mean," Agent Reynolds said. All three agents nodded in agreement and fell silent to better hear the argument between Scully and Mulder. "Mulder, what possessed you to attack Agent Harrison like that?" Mulder was obviously distressed but Scully's need for answers overwhelmed her normal stoicism. Mulder's expression went from shocked to determined to mulish in a matter of seconds. "Excuse me, Agent Scully. I have to meet with SAC Thompson right now. If you have any further questions pertaining to the case, I suggest we discuss them later." "We'll do that Mulder! Right now, I am going to check on Agent Harrison and then go back to the hospital to check on our witness." Scully turned her back on Mulder to stride from the room. This time she was the shocked one. Mulder's hand completely encircled her upper arm as he pulled her to face him. "Scully, I don't want you to go anywhere near Harrison," he said before thinking. Scully stood, frozen in surprise. She narrowed her eyes and hissed, "You don't want? YOU don't want me to go any where near Harrison? Just who do you think you are to make a demand like that?" She spit out before thinking. Mulder flinched as if she had struck him. "I'm sorry, Scully. You're right. It's not my place to tell you what to do. It's just that..." Mulder ground to a halt. "I don't want to see you hurt, Scully." "And you think Agent Harrison has what it takes to hurt me?" She snorted. "You of all people should know better than that, Mulder." "Scully. Stop. I want to discuss this with you, but I do have to meet with SAC Thompson right now. I am asking you as my partner and my friend, please don't go to Harrison's office until we talk. Just check out the witness in the hospital and meet me back at the motel." Mulder gently squeezed her fingers. "I promise we'll talk about everything as soon as I'm done here." Scully studied Mulder's eyes for a long moment. She decided to postpone any conversation with Agent Harrison until later as Mulder asked. But he had some major explaining to do. "Alright. I'll see you back at the motel, Mulder." The relief on Mulder's face was obvious. "I promise, Scully. We'll talk about everything when I get there. Do you want me to bring supper or do you want to go out somewhere?" "I don't really feel like eating right now, Mulder. Let's decide later." As soon as the two visiting agents left the area, Ramirez spoke up, "Nope, definitely not doing it." "Agreed." Folks said. "Yeah," Reynolds added, "But Spooky's in a ton of trouble for striking another agent." The three men nodded and exchanged glances. All three of them had witnessed Agent Harrison in action since the day he was transferred to the Cheyenne Field Office. The turnover of female personnel had sharply increased and all three agents were tired of training new people. They had lost some fine support staffers and a couple good female field agents to Harrison's games. "Yep, and we're the only witnesses." Agent Folks began to fidget with the stack of unfilled reports on his desk. "Yeah, well, too bad I didn't see anything." Agent Reynolds, the youngest of the three replied. "My back was to the entire exchange." "You didn't miss much." Ramirez said and carefully searched the eyes of his two friends. "Oh, yeah?" Folks asked. "What happened? I wasn't really looking in that direction until I heard the commotion." "Yeah. All I saw was Agent Scully talking to Agent Harrison and then Spooky er... I mean Agent Mulder rushed in all excited about the bust. Funny how Agent Harrison walked right into Agent Mulder's wildly gesturing hand like that." Ramirez stated. "Yeah, funny. The bruise almost looked like a fist mark. Maybe he hit his nose on the corner of the desk as he went down. He sure was bleeding a lot when he stumbled out of here." Reynolds said. "Maybe he broke his pretty nose. Maybe he won't find it so easy to get a date anymore." Agent Folks was thinking of Carol, the shy little clerk that had quit just recently. He had really liked her. Maybe he should call her and let her know about Harrison's accident. Maybe she'd like to have a drink and hear all about it. "Say, guys, why don't we file an incident report and call it a day? This paperwork will be here tomorrow." Folks suggested. The three agents grinned at each other and headed toward SAC Thompson's office. Everything was going to work out just fine. Mulder's report to the SAC was complete and he was contemplating whether or not to tell him about hitting Agent Harrison. Damn! Why had he done that? They could take Scully away from him. They could bust him down and take away his field agent status. What the hell was he thinking? He decided to not mention it tonight. He was sure Harrison would file a report sometime tonight or tomorrow and right now all he wanted was to get back to Scully. As Mulder was leaving Thompson's office, the three agents from the bull pen knocked. "Sir, do you have a moment? We wanted to file our incident reports with you before we left." Ramirez did the talking. "Incident Report? What are you talking about?" SAC Thompson was tired. This entire bust had been hard on him and he wondered if he was getting too old for field work. Mulder stopped and glared at the three agents. They couldn't wait to tattle on Spooky. So be it. He stood his ground and folded his arms. He didn't want to do this now, but they had taken it out of his hands and he would face the music. "Yeah, it's nothing really, but we know how you like to be up to date on everything that happens around here." Folks interjected. "We just wanted to let you know that what happened with Agent Mulder and Agent Harrison was an accident." Ramirez stated. "Yeah, an accident." Folks chimed. "What exactly did happen, Agent Mulder?" Thompson impaled Mulder with his glare. He felt his ulcer start to burn as he eyed the visiting agent. "Uh, Agent Mulder must not have reported the incident yet, sir. He probably feels pretty foolish about how excited he was over the bust. He was gesturing pretty wildly when he came in to talk to Agent Scully, and Agent Harrison walked right into his hand." Ramirez stated with a straight face. "Yep, that's what happened. Went down like a ton of bricks. He must have broken his nose on the desk or something." Folks continued. "I didn't see anything except Agent Harrison yelling at Agent Mulder and running from the room with a bloody nose, but that sounds right to me." Agent Reynolds agreed. "Well, thank you men. I'm sure I'll hear from Agent Harrison tomorrow. Dismissed." Thompson eyed Mulder as the three agents filed out. "You have anything to add to their report?" "That's not what happened, Sir." Mulder began. "Mulder, have you ever seen a picture of my wife?" Thompson interjected. He strode over to his desk and picked up the frame on the corner of his desk and walked back to the couch and sat down. "Have a seat, Mulder." He handed it to Mulder as he sat down. "Your wife is lovely, Sir. Is she American Indian?" Mulder asked the obvious. "Yep, full blooded Navajo. Her father and mine were in the Marines in WWII together. She's my best friend." Mulder was curious as to why Thompson was sharing his personal life with him, but was wise enough to let the SAC continue at his own pace. "So, you grew up together?" "No, we didn't meet until we were adults. It was just a fluke that our parents knew each other. We both joined the FBI right out of college. She's a feisty one. Wanted to prove that women could do anything men could. She was at the top of our class and I couldn't handle her beating me at anything. We graduated dead even-shared the number one and two spot. One of the first times it ever happened." Thompson smiled. "We were friends for years-always staying in touch, but never dating. I married and divorced but she worked on her career." Thompson grew quiet and sighed. "I was in Violent Crimes and she was in Domestic Terrorism. We were both assigned to work on a big case back about twelve years ago. Not one of the shining moments of the FBI. We worked well together and were assigned as partners for the duration. God, she was magnificent! The way her mind works! Her understanding of logistics and knowledge of previous covert actions were overwhelming. I fell head over heals in love with her." "So you got married?" Mulder was interested, but anxious to get to Scully. "Nah! She wouldn't have anything to do with me. I was her partner- her friend. She was strictly a professional." Thompson laughed. "I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't gotten shot. When the bust went down, it was a real pooch screw. They obviously were waiting for us and two agents died. Several were injured critically. I was one of those. I don't know what happened, but when I woke up from my coma, she was there and something had changed. I vowed to tell her how I felt as soon as I was strong enough to run like hell if she got mad." He grinned at Mulder. "I never had a chance to say a thing. She was so strong. She laid it on the line. She told me she loved me and didn't care if I returned her love, she had to tell me. She was ready to do whatever I wanted. She would stay as my friend or walk out the door if I didn't love her back. It was the bravest thing I ever saw." Thompson was lost in memories. "Uh, sir, why are you telling me about this?" Mulder was forced to ask, but had a sinking feeling he already knew the answer. "Mulder, don't be an ass like me. Any fool can tell that you're in love with Agent Scully and she loves you back. Life's too short and too hard to face alone. My wife has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't believe that I spent all those years without her. You need to tell Agent Scully how you feel, Mulder. You'll never regret it." "Uhhh... thanks for the advice, sir, but it's complicated for Agent Scully and me." "Bullshit, Mulder. It's only as complicated as you make it." Thompson glared at him, then softened. "As for the incident report you need to file, I think my men have made the only report needed." Mulder started to contradict him, but SAC Thompson spoke again. "Harrison is a two-bit Lothario with connections in Washington. If he didn't he would be out on his ear already. Don't worry about it; I'm not. We've lost too many good female agents and support staff already. Maybe this will give Harrison something to think about before he acts next time." Thompson stood up and placed the portrait of his wife back on his desk. "I'll be tied up all day tomorrow in budget meetings, so I won't have a chance to speak to Agent Scully personally before you leave. Thank you both for your assistance with this case, Agent Mulder. I will be contacting AD Kersh to thank him for sending two of his best out to help us." Thompson offered his hand to Mulder. The two men shook and Mulder was out the door before he could say anything more. Mulder quickly found the three agents and thanked them for their version of the incident report. The four men all stood there for a moment in total, if silent, agreement. Agent Harrison got what he deserved. He'd had it coming for a long time, but the three local men were glad Mulder was the one that acted. After all, they were stationed in the same office and things would have been sticky if one of them had acted. As soon as Mulder and Scully left tomorrow, everything would settle down, but Harrison hopefully would learn a lesson about bird-dogging the women of the office. As Ramirez put it, "After all, Mulder, you'll be just a phone call away." Mulder grinned and said goodnight. He drove to the motel slowly, contemplating everything the older man had said. He realized he didn't want to hide his feelings for Scully any longer. It obviously wasn't going to stay a secret if he couldn't refrain from cold-cocking every slime ball that made a play for her. She was smart and strong and could take care of herself, most of the time. But for all her savvy, Dana Scully was something of an innocent when it came to how she affected men. He couldn't stand by and watch Harrison work her over. It would have killed him if she had accepted a dinner invitation from that creep. He had heard Harrison bragging about getting him some of that fine red meat earlier in the bull pen. The man was a total sleaze. His speculation on whether Scully was a real red head had been almost more than Mulder could take. If he had asked Mulder that directly he would have put him in the hospital before the bust and Scully would have never forgiven him. Mulder was not looking forward to talking to Scully. He knew she was furious with him and deserved an explanation. And that's what scared him. Was he ready to tell her how he felt? Did he want to share his pain and blind rage at the thoughts of someone else touching her? Was she ready to hear how much he loved her? They needed to talk about this but he didn't want to do it until they were back home. The "Camp Out Inn" wasn't exactly a romantic setting and he wanted everything to be perfect when he finally scraped up the courage to tell her his feelings. Mulder decided to go the safe route. He flipped open his phone and hit speed dial #1. She's been #1 for over seven years now-no matter what phone. It had become easier to hold onto a phone than to learn how to program each new one issued by the Bureau. "Scully." "Hey, Scully, I'm on my way back to the motel. Are you hungry yet?" Food wasn't a pacifier for her, but it could act as a peace offering. Maybe he could find some chocolate somewhere. "No. Mulder. I'm not hungry." Damn! She was still furious. "Scully, Cheyenne is not like DC. Even the MacDonalds close early. I'm going to run through Wendy's and grab something. Can I at least get you a salad?" The silence on the line was forever until, "Fine. Get me a grilled chicken with diet ranch dressing." She hung up without saying goodbye. Mulder contemplated her abrupt response. She was still angry, but she was speaking to him. Perhaps there was hope he could salvage their relationship yet. When he returned to their rooms with the food, Scully met him at her door, accepted the food, said a toneless thank you and shut the door in his face. He decided he would try to talk to her tomorrow. XXXXXXXXXX Mulder sat at the head of the dinner table. Silver candlesticks and flowers graced the center of the table. The fine china and crystal reminded him of dinner at his grandmother's house. He looked toward the closed kitchen door as it began to swing open. He sucked in his breath and began chewing on his lower lip as he watched Scully, dressed in an obscenely scanty French Maid's outfit, carry a tray of food toward the table. Mulder swallowed and tried to pry his eyes off her breasts as she bent close to his side and placed the food near him. The fork in his hand clattered to the table and bounced off to the floor. "Let me get that for you, Fox." Scully's voice was low and incredibly sexy. She licked her lips and stepped away from him just slightly so that she could turn her back to him as she picked up the fork. As she bent over she kept her knees locked and the short skirt of her uniform slid up over her hips revealing her naked bottom. Mulder groaned as his erection jerked against the fabric of the table cloth. He realized he was dressed in a tuxedo shirt, tie, and jacket, but wasn't wearing pants. Scully shot him a look over her shoulder. "You do want this, don't you Mulder?" Mulder growled and reached for her, knocking the offered fork against a glass, setting off a ringing. He tried to ignore the sound of the ringing, concentrating only on Scully and what he was going to do to her as soon as he got his hands on her. She seemed to recede as the ringing continued. "You do want me, don't you Mulder? Mulder? Muullldderrr?" The ringing continued and grew louder. Mulder took his eyes off Scully long enough to find the fork to stop the noise it was making and when he looked back she was gone. The ringing grew louder. "What the hell?" Mulder frantically looked around for Scully, and found himself fighting the table cloth to stand. The harder he fought, the more entangled he became and the louder the ringing. "Scully!" he shouted as he fell from the bed. The phone on the night stand continued to ring as he realized it had all been a dream. "Mulder," he growled. "Uhhh, Agent Mulder, this is Agent Folks." "Yeah?" "Well, Agent Mulder, you were right. The other guy you profiled as our second UNSUB tried to kill the witness last night. Good thing you had us plant an agent in the room and house Ms. Weston elsewhere. We got him dead to rights, but he wants to talk to Agent Scully." "Why are you calling me if he wants to speak to Scully?" Mulder was reluctant to return to this world from the dream world of 'French Maid Scully'. "Uh, Agent Scully left for DC last night. I thought you knew." "Oh, yeah, I'm having a hard time waking up is all. Thanks, Folks. I'll get to the jail right away." Mulder hung up the phone. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs. His dream came back in full color to tease him. The soft sounds of the game show on TV brought enlightenment. 'I hope I never see that Dannon Yogurt commercial again,' he thought. Even something as innocent as that could trigger indecent thoughts of Scully. He was in trouble and knew it. As he showered he remembered Folks' words. Scully had left last night to go back to DC. Mulder kept running the entire previous afternoon over in his mind. Every time he thought about Scully's response to his punching Agent Harrison, he panicked. Yes, she was mad enough to leave him here to finish up the case, but was she mad enough to leave him completely? He couldn't tell from her responses last night, but she hadn't spoken to him other than a curt 'thank you' for the food. He decided he needed to wrap up this case and get back home as soon as possible to talk to her. The follow-up with the two perps went well. Mulder was able to get a full confession from each of them, signed, sealed and delivered in a tight little package that would hold up in any court in the land. He wanted desperately to leave and let the regional office staff take care of all the details, but knew that Scully would expect that of him. He wanted to prove to her that he was as professional as she. He made sure he did everything that needed to be done to ensure a conviction. He didn't allow himself to think of Scully until he was on the plane home. He tried calling Scully's home phone and her cell from the plane. When there was no answer at her home number, he left a message. Her cell had been turned off. He was terrified of tomorrow. He desperately wanted to make everything all right between them, but was scared that she would refuse his apology. XXXXXXXXXX Mulder arrived at the office on time the next morning. He had stopped at Dunkin Donuts and got her favorite coffee. When he got to the office door, it was still locked. He didn't have a good feeling about it. After a half hour of stewing and shuffling files, he decided to call AD Kersh's office and see if she had called in sick. He dialed Tonya, Kersh's Executive Assistant, and made small talk for a moment, hoping that she would offer the information. "Is he in, Tonya?" Mulder finally said. He didn't know what he would say to Kersh, but he would think of something. "No, I'm sorry, Agent Mulder. He and Agent Scully had an appointment at Quantico this morning. I could let him know you called if he checks in. I believe he will be out all day today." The tiny ache that had been hovering behind his eyes since Thursday morning erupted into a full blown migraine. "Uh, no, that's okay. I was just going to tell him I had put the final reports for the Cheyenne case in the interoffice mail and to let him know I'm going to take the rest of the day off. I have a migraine." "Oh, Agent Mulder, I would be happy to take you home, if you need a ride." Tonya purred. Mulder pulled the phone away from his ear and gave it a quizzical look, as if it could tell him what was going on. Every since he and Scully had returned from Area 51, Tonya had been more than friendly- she had been downright flirtatious, as if they had a history. "Uh, thanks, Tonya, but I have my car here. I'll be fine." Mulder quickly turned his phone off and raced to the parking garage. He had a picture in his mind of Tonya waiting to waylay him that was all too real. Once home, Mulder took some Imitrex, turned off the sound on his answering machine, closed the blinds, and lay down on the couch with a cool cloth. 'Jesus! What have I done?' he thought. 'I've driven Scully away. She's at Quantico with Kersh arranging for her new assignment. I can just hear Kersh Monday.' Mulder grimaced. 'He'll be more than happy to tell me all about Scully's new assignment and how he's closing the X-Files.' He tried to write a quick e-mail to Scully to apologize. 'Yeah, that was it,' he thought. 'An apology personal enough, but without the danger of being in the same room when delivered.' The trouble was he couldn't think of what to say. Once he got beyond the 'Scully, forgive me, please don't leave me' that was rolling around in the few brain cells still firing in his head, he was at a loss. He decided an e-mail with just the right amount of pleading with a touch of humor was too hard to do right now. His head was hurting so much the effort to type without errors was beyond him. Not to mention the sound of the keyboard clicking was reverberating in his head like a kettle drum. He powered down the computer, not wanting to hear even the quiet hum of the CPU. He didn't realize that he had automatically sent the message as he exited. After sitting and holding his head for a few moments, he decided he would write Scully a letter and tell her how sorry he was he embarrassed her. He knew it wouldn't help if she had already made up her mind to transfer to Quantico, but he wanted to try. Around and around thoughts of what he should say whirled in his head. The harder he tried to think, the harder his head hurt. He had torn up several tries and decided he would go with the simple: "Scully, forgive me." He contemplated writing more, but exhaustion finally overwhelmed him and he slept. When he next woke it was early evening. The Imitrex had helped his headache some, but he was still nauseous and unsteady from the pain. he stumbled into the kitchen and looked for something to eat. All he found in the refrigerator was some cans of iced tea and a couple six packs of the root beer Scully liked. He looked in the cupboard that usually held at least a few cans of soup and all he had there was a gallon jug of vodka. Mulder shook his head. Where had that come from? He hadn't touched Vodka since the Comity fiasco. As a matter of fact he tried to stay away from liquor entirely. The sterling example of his father usually kept him on the straight and narrow. He knew he would never buy vodka, let alone a gallon. Even Frohike wouldn't drink this brand of rotgut. He made a circle of the kitchen again, hoping that something would appeal to him. He had just about decided to order a pizza when he spied the vodka again. "What the hell." He poured a shot of vodka into a glass of ice water and grabbed the jar of green olives. Maybe it would help him sleep. Scully would be proud-he was eating his greens, he thought as he drank the vodka and water. He had consumed half the jar of olives and was now extremely thirsty but ignored it. He turned on his favorite tape and settled down on the couch, naked. The picture of the two people on the screen drew his attention. The tall, dark-haired man and the petite red-headed woman. He had worn out his first copy of this tape. He was smart. Last time he had bought two copies. So what if the clerk sneered at his taste in porno. It wasn't the plot he was watching this one for. Dana. Why did he think of her as Dana when he watched this tape? In his dreams she was Scully. In all his waking fantasies, she was Scully. At the office, she was Scully. Only when he watched this tape was she Dana. Dana and Fox. The early set-up scenes were almost over. Horny guy meets beautiful, horny gal at the beach. They get it on. They get married. They go on a kinky honeymoon back to the beach. Not a lot of plot, but enough hot sex to allow him to fall asleep every night, dreaming of his own favorite red head. No need to make that honeymoon video with Scully as long as he had this to keep him warm. It was going to have to last him now, Scully would be gone by Monday. Mulder let the tape take him to his usual completion. After his breathing slowed and he had cleaned himself up with the handy box of tissues he kept under the couch, he decided if he wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon, he needed more vodka. He grabbed his glass and the jar of olives and stumbled to the kitchen to retrieve more ice for his glass. He poured the drinking glass full of vodka and brought it to his mouth. He made the mistake of inhaling just before drinking. The smell of the vodka turned his stomach. As he dumped the glass of vodka into the sink and tipped the bottle to empty down the drain, the alcohol splashed on him. He ignored the puddle on the floor but ran a dish towel over his stomach to dry off. He filled his glass with water and ice instead. As he was leaving the kitchen, he picked up the bottle of sleeping pills the doctor had prescribed along with the Imitrex. He needed to sleep off this headache. He would take just one and try to get some rest. He didn't realize he still held the empty vodka bottle as he left the kitchen. Mulder meandered toward the couch and dropped the vodka bottle on the coffee table. He pushed the glass of water into the crook of his arm as he tried to open the bottle of sleeping pills. He spied the fish tank and this reminded him to feed his fish. He kept going until he was standing in front of the tank. He struggled with the child-proof cap and groaned as the cap suddenly gave way and the majority of the pills flipped into the fish tank and sank. The fish thought they were actually getting fed and darted back and forth attacking the pills. "So much for that batch of fish!" Mulder sniggered, the pain making him loopy. He brought the bottle up to his eye, squinting to see if any pills had survived the grand opening. Two lonely pills graced the bottom of the bottle. Mulder tipped the bottle up and swallowed them, washing them down with the water. He decided to give the fish a final meal and after apologizing to them, stumbled back to the couch. He fell backwards onto the couch with the glass of ice and the pill bottle still in his hands. He was asleep before his head hit the cushions. XXXXXXXXXX Dana Scully had tried to call Mulder several times. She still was mad at him and his macho behavior, but she felt the need to touch base with him before he disappeared for the weekend. She wanted to find out what the final outcome was on the Cheyenne case. She needed to speak to him about his reaction to Agent Harrison. She had been jumping through Kersh's hoops for the past two days. She was called in as the expert forensics witness in a murder trial of two men accused of the first degree murder of two DOJ employees in Baltimore. She had been called back from Cheyenne to supervise the disinterment of one of the bodies when the autopsy findings had been challenged by the defense attorney. Her reevaluation of the corpse and expert testimony had been just what the state needed to convict. The trial still was going, but her part was done and Kersh was happy with her. After trying both Mulder's cell and his home number she decided that she was too tired to drive over to his place right away. A small niggle of fear kept irritating her just enough that she wasn't really surprised when she found herself driving in the direction of Arlington instead of Georgetown. "No!" she said aloud. She was not going to do this. She pulled into the parking lot of a sporting good store. 'I am not going to let him control me like this,' she thought. She took out her phone and called the Guys. He was probably with them or going to be with them some time this weekend. She would just leave a message with them. "Hello." "Frohike, it's me. Turn off the tape." "It's off, Agent Scully. To what do I owe this pleasure." Scully knew that behind the leering little toad facade Frohike presented to the world was a man who was a true friend to both her and Mulder, but sometimes she had a hard time remembering that. "Off, Frohike," she snapped. There was a small echo and then, "It's off now, Scully. Sorry." She sighed and said, "That's okay, Frohike, I'm sorry I snapped at you." "Well, now that we have that over with, what can I do for you?" "Have you seen Mulder in the last couple days?" She didn't want to get into an argument with any of their three friends. "No, wasn't he in Cheyenne with you?" Frohike was becoming concerned. Had Mulder ditched Agent Scully again? His paranoia took over and he flicked the call over to the speaker phone. Byers and Langly stopped their tasks and drew closer. "I was called back to testify at a trial in Baltimore and I haven't been able to reach him. No big deal, so far, but if he checks in with you, please let him know I'm looking for him." She didn't want to alarm them, but she did want to cover her bases before she went home. "Sure thing, Agent Scully. We'll let him know." Frohike said. He nodded towards Byers and Langly. They moved back to their computers and began to search for evidence of Mulders whereabouts. "Thank you Frohike. Just tell him I'll be at home tonight, but I have a lunch date with my mom tomorrow. I'm sure he'll know how to get in touch with me." "No problem, Agent Scully. G'bye." As she hung up she realized that she had just placed a bloodhound, actually three bloodhounds on Mulder's trail. She decided that she had done what she could and turned around and drove back towards Georgetown. She needed a bath and something to eat. XXXXXXXXXX In the mean time, the Lone Gunmen had already followed Mulder's paper-trail return to DC. They had hacked into the bureau computers and ascertained that he or someone who looked like him and drove his car, had checked into the parking garage this morning, leaving only forty minutes later. The three men were becoming worried. There had been no activity on his bank card or his credit card for the entire day. They checked his cell phone records and there were no calls out, only the messages Scully left on the in listing. They called his answering machine and checked his messages. Nothing but Scully's there. "I think we should check his e-mail." Langly suggested. They always had the ability to do this, but they usually honored his privacy and kept it as a last ditch effort kind of thing. The other two agreed. Their anxiety ratcheted up several notches when they read the simple one-line message to Scully. "Oh, man, this doesn't look good," Langly groaned. "I agree." Byers said. "I think this warrants a drive by to check out his apartment for sounds." The three silently agreed and raced out the door. Moments later they were parked across the street from Mulder's apartment, listening devices in place, trying to hear anything that would give them a clue as to Mulder's state of health. His car was in his regular parking place, though not as neatly parked as usual. The apartment was dark and eerily silent. "All I can hear is the fish tank aerator going." Byers said. The three men silently contemplated their options. "I think we should call Scully." Frohike decided. The other two agreed. If Mulder was sick or dying, Scully was the one that needed to be there. "You better call her, Byers. She'll be more likely to listen to you." Langly said. Part 2 Within a half hour, Scully's car screeched to a stop behind Mulder's and she was racing up the stairs towards his apartment. After her bath, she had opened her e-mail and read the cryptic message there. The call from the guys confirmed her worst fears and the drive to Arlington had never been accomplished as quickly before tonight. She motioned for the guys to stay back as she approached his door, gun drawn. She stood quietly and listened for sounds within before carefully inserting her key and silently opening the door. She could tell that there was someone in the apartment. She snicked off the safety of her SIG Sauer and motioned for the guys to stay farther back. She crept forward into the darkened apartment slowly. She stopped when she realized that Mulder was on the couch. She motioned for the gunmen to continue to stay back. She tiptoed into the other rooms, checking for the presence of others before allowing the guys entry. She motioned for them to step on in when she had checked the entire apartment. She bent to turn on the lamp and, as the light came on, heard a gasp from the three men. She stood up abruptly and turned towards Mulder. Her gasp joined theirs. Few times in Dana Katherine Scully's life had she been stunned into speechlessness. This time would top the list. She had seen Mulder naked many times before, but never like this. Lying before her in all his naked glory was her partner, Fox Mulder. He was lying on his back, an empty bottle of medication in one hand, and an empty glass in the other. Next to him was a tablet with "Forgive me Scully" scrawled across it and an empty gallon bottle labeled as vodka. The guys jerked into action first. Byers began searching for the phone to call 911. Langly pulled the pill bottle and the glass from Mulder's hands. Frohike rushed to the bathroom to see if he could find anything to make Mulder vomit. Scully was the only one that stood stock still. Her eyes were glued to Mulder's body. "Scully, Scully, snap out of it, he's still breathing. Help me get him to vomit." Frohike held a bottle of ipecac in one hand and plastic-bag lined wastebasket in the other. Scully turned slightly to Frohike. His status elevated in her eyes. He was the only one who knew what to do. "Thank you, Melvin, but I don't think we'll need that." Her eyes moved back to Mulder. Frohike looked back at his friend to try to see him as she did. How did she know he was all right? He followed her glance back down to the prone agent. "Holy Shit!" Langly and Byers turned to see what Frohike was practically shouting about. They both spied it at the same time. Fox Mulder, lying there in all his naked glory-a smile on his face and sporting an impressive erection. "Whoa! Major wood." Langly spoke first. "A redwood among mere sprouts." Frohike laughed nervously. Byers had the good grace to blush and quickly turn away, looking for a blanket or something to cover Mulder up. Scully strode into his bedroom, brought back a pair of sweat pants and threw them at Frohike. "Put these on him. I'll get some coffee going." She spun on her heel and marched to the kitchen. She stood clutching the counter for a moment to steady her breathing. She was such a fool. Moments later she had a pot of coffee started. She had slid on the puddle of liquid directly in front of the sink and when she stooped to clean it up, realized it was straight vodka. This revelation made her feel somewhat better. While the coffee brewed she gathered some mugs and the creamer and sugar, and placed them on a tray. By the time she had one pot of coffee done and poured and she started a second pot of coffee, the guys had Mulder completely dressed in sweat pants and a tee shirt. They had walked him into the bathroom and back and one of them, probably Frohike, had obviously held his head under the shower head for a moment or two, because he was somewhat lucid. "He's awake. He says he's not drunk, even though he smells like he took a bath in vodka." Frohike's angry growl answered her questioning look. "I think he's telling the truth, Melvin. There was a large puddle of vodka on the kitchen floor. He may have had a couple drinks, but I think he poured the majority of the bottle down the drain. The pill bottle concerns me more than the vodka." "Uh, Agent Scully," Byers moved closer to her and spoke quietly. "He says he only took two pills along with an Imitrex the doctor prescribed for his migraine. The bottle cap stuck and most of the pills flipped into the fish tank. I think he's telling the truth because all his fish are dead." "Tattling to Scully about me, guys? Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Well, don't worry about it. I've had bigger guns than you try to blacken my name with the fair Agent Scully." Mulder's voice still held a slur that worried Scully. She moved to the couch and sat beside Mulder. "Mulder, look into my eyes. Good. Now, grasp my hand with your left hand and squeeze. Good. Now with your right. Good." Scully checked his forehead for fever and let her fingertips slide down to caress his cheek briefly. "Mulder does your head still hurt?" "Yeah," he croaked out. "But not as bad as it did this morning. I came home about 9:30 and took the Imitrex and slept for a few hours. I woke up late this afternoon and still had the headache so I took a couple sleeping pills." "Mulder, this is important. Where are the rest of the pills?" Scully wanted to hear it from him. "I used them to kill my fish." His grin was that of a little boy who had played the ultimate joke. "It was an accident. I tried to get back to sleep by taking a drink of vodka, but it just made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to go back to sleep. I only took one or two pills, Scully, honestly." He put his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. "Can I go back to sleep now?" "Not yet, Mulder. I want you to go take a quick shower and get in bed. I find something for you to eat before you go back to sleep." Scully said. "Scullleee, there isn't anything here to eat." Mulder just wanted to slip back into a healing sleep. "'Sides, I'm tired." "Byers will help you get your shower and Frohike will go down to the deli and get you some soup or something light. You'll sleep better with a full stomach." Scully hurried everyone to their assigned duties. She corralled Langly into helping her change the sheets on Mulder's bed. By the time Frohike was back, Mulder was showered and dressed. Scully had him go directly to the bed and as soon as he was settled, handed him a mug of soup. She left him alone to drink his soup for a moment while she walked the guys to the door. "Thank you all for your help. He'll be all right now. I'm just going to let him sleep, hopefully until morning. His head ache should be gone soon now that he's had something to eat." "Are you sure you'll be okay, Agent Scully?" Byers asked. Scully smiled and gave each one of them a hug. "Thank you for being there for both of us." She shut the door on the three and leaned against it with a weary sigh. She could hear them bantering down the hall. "Damn, did you see the wood Mulder was sporting?" Langly spoke with awe as he ambled down the hall. "Agent Mulder's personal proportions are none of our business." Byers scolded him. "Huh!" from Frohike. "What do you think? Eight, nine inches?" Langly spoke up again. "Langly!" Byers said as the elevator doors opened. "Nah, ten inches at least," Frohike said as the elevator doors slid shut. Scully started to giggle. Mulder would be a legend in their minds before they got home, she smiled to herself. A hot blush hit her while she was thinking about staring at Mulder, paralyzed with relief that he was alive and mesmerized by the sheer beauty of his body. She felt guilty for all of twenty seconds, then laughed. It wasn't as if he had never seen her naked when she was out of it. She didn't know how he was going to handle the guys and their ribbing, but men were strange. He'd probably be pleased to know they were impressed. She consciously dropped the matter from her mind. Scully went back to check on Mulder. He was all ready back to sleep, the empty mug on the bed stand. She quietly walked to the bed and turned out the lamp. She ran the back of her fingers over his forehead to check for fever and found him cool to the touch. She arranged the sheets and covers and stood watching him for a moment. "What were you thinking when you decked Agent Harrison, Mulder? What had he done that made you take such a violent exception to him?" She whispered. He stirred in his sleep and frowned slightly. "Don't worry, I'll get my answers tomorrow." She stroked her fingers through his hair until his frown smoothed out and his breathing became even and slow. Scully cleaned up the living room a bit and washed the few dirty dishes in the sink. She retrieved the overnight bag she kept in her car and took a quick shower. She curled up on the couch and turned on the television. She hit the controller to get to the menu screen and accidentally turn on the VCR. The video of the tall brown haired man and the small redhead began to play. She was shocked at first by the groans and sighs coming from the screen and she tried frantically to stop the tape. But as she glanced furtively at the movie while trying to master the controller, she became more and more engrossed in the action on the screen. Before she knew it, the movie was over and the VCR was rewinding. She flicked off the power button on the television and sat there in the dim light of the fish tank thinking. Mulder had a movie that seemed to represent them making love. She didn't know how she felt about that. She should be repulsed. A pornographic depiction of a sexual contact between them should be the antithesis of all that she held sacred about their relationship. She should be indignant. She should be furious that he would reduce her feelings to the lowest common denominator. Hell, she should be a lot of things, but what she was... what she felt... She was turned on by it. The entire movie was a fantasy about them in another life. She shivered as she realized that she had practically felt Mulder's hands as she watched the actors. Her nipples were hard as rocks. Her clean panties were soaked and her sex was actually throbbing with desire. She had been fantasizing about Mulder for years. Whenever she masturbated she visualized him. Oh, she had tried to fight the urge to use Mulder as her phantom lover. But the day in and day out exposure to one of the sexiest men she had ever had the pleasure to know was more than she could take. He began permeating her dreams. Hot, wet dreams that always ended with her struggling to wakefulness, only to realize that the orgasm she had had in the dream still lingered in real life. She lived in fear that some time when they were on the road, she would wake Mulder up, screaming his name as she came. That's when she had accepted Mulder as her imaginary lover while she masturbated. She found the dreams diminished as long as she satisfied her body's hunger for release. After all, she tried to rationalize her actions to herself, he was the man she was around the most, so it stood to reason he would be the one she would feel most comfortable with. But, after a while she couldn't fool herself anymore. She loved him. She wanted him. She needed him. And if the only way she could have him was to fantasize about him, then so be it. Was his video any different than her fantasies? She gave herself a mental shake. There were no doubt a dozen videos of other female types in the cabinet under the television. He just happened to have this one out. "Don't set yourself up for heartbreak, Dana." She admonished aloud, but settled back on the couch and let her latest favorite fantasy take her away so that she could find the release she needed to be able to relax and go to sleep. Her soft cries for Mulder ended and the familiar scent of Mulder's couch soothed her to sleep. XXXXXXXXXX Scully felt two strong arms pick her up and hold her close to a warm, broad chest. She thought she was having a lucid dream and it was a doozie. She decided to go with the dream, Mulder would sleep until morning and she was just too tired and comfortable to wake up and turn over. She snuggled in closer to the warm, bare skin beneath her cheek. She felt like she was floating on a cloud. "Mmmmm... Mulder," she said. "Shhhhh, Scully. It's okay. I'm here." Mulders voice sounded deep and soft, just like it always was in her dreams. "'K. Love you, Mulder." She placed a soft kiss on the bare skin beneath her lips. "I... I love you too, Scully." He backed away from her slightly to give her more room. "No, don't leave me, Mulder. Stay." She rubbed her nose against the smooth, warm skin and inhaled. Yes, there it was. The scent of her mate. It was always there in her dreams. His long arms pulled her even closer to him. His body seemed to wrap completely around her, protective and loving. "I can't leave you, Scully. I can't. I tried. I don't want to hurt you any more, but I can't live without you. Don't you leave me!" Mulder's arms became bands of steel around her-a loving prison she would never willingly leave. "Don't leave me. I'd never make it without you. I love you, Scully." "'K." She said and drifted deeper into sleep, only slightly surprised that this dream did not culminate in hot sex, but sometimes she just liked to cuddle and feel loved by her dream Mulder. XXXXXXXXXX Mulder liked to wake up slowly on Saturdays. He yawned and buried his nose deeper into the cloud of sweet-smelling hair that laid on his arm. His eyes popped open. Holy Shit! What had he done? He pulled back enough to focus on the woman lying in his arms. Scully! He should have recognized the scent. He slowly eased forward to cuddle closer to her. In for a pence, in for a pound, so to speak. If she was going to kill him for being in bed with her, at least he wanted to have something to remember about the experience. He slowly drifted back to sleep, unaware the she was waking up. Scully struggled to consciousness slowly. She hadn't felt this warm and relaxed and loved for years. Mulder's strong arms were wrapped around her. His legs were intertwined with hers and his morning erection was cuddled up in the crease of her ass-and up and up. Hoo! Boy! Mulder! His soft snore let her know that he wasn't awake so she decided to lie still and enjoy it. She tried to remember how she got in bed with him but came up blank. She thought about getting up and going back out to the couch, but couldn't force herself to move. She finally drifted back to sleep. She would handle this later. XXXXXXXXXX The next time Scully woke, she was alone in the bed. She bolted upright but relaxed when she heard the shower running and knew Mulder was all right. She flopped back down into the pillow and tried to remember how she got into bed with Mulder. Her mind drifted back over the events of the previous evening. Fear that Mulder tried to kill himself. The sight of Mulder in all his naked glory. The revelation of the video she played last night. Her dream about being held in Mulder's arms. Wait. Maybe that wasn't a dream. The water shut off in the shower and Scully did the only thing she could think of at the moment. She pretended that she was asleep. She buried her face into the pillow that smelled like Mulder and pulled the covers almost completely over her head. She left a small window to observe Mulder's reaction to her pose. She stilled her breathing to a slow even pace just as he walked into the bedroom, hair still damp, a towel wrapped around his waist. He shot one glance to the bed and proceeded to get dressed. She surreptitiously watched him. She found it almost impossible to keep up her pretense when he dropped the towel to pull on his boxers. When he was finished he turned to leave the room. With his back to her he said, "You can get out of bed now, Scully. I'm going to start the coffee." She decided that it was no use pretending. He had known that she was awake all along. Well, she faced him when she was embarrassed before and she could do it again. Besides, he had a lot of gall to tease her. She was still mad about his assault on Agent Harrison. She had her Scully-armor in place by the time she joined him in the living room. He had poured her a cup of coffee and toasted her a bagel, cream cheese on the side. "Thank you Mulder," she said as she gratefully drank her coffee. They ate in companionable silence. Each considered how to best approach the subject that was on their minds. Scully picked up their dishes and took them back to the kitchen. She came out and walked toward her coat as if to leave. "Scully, where are you going?" Mulder didn't want her to leave until he was certain she would be at work Monday. She continued to her coat and pulled out her purse. She opened the purse and pulled out a small brush for her hair. She held the brush up and motioned towards the bathroom. "Do you still have that toothbrush I used before?" She could barely speak to him let alone meet his eyes. "Yes, it's in the medicine cabinet, back in the original box." Mulder answered. He was relieved that she wasn't leaving yet. Moments later Scully exited the bathroom and once again moved towards her coat and purse. She stashed the brush and started to pick up her coat when she felt his hands on her shoulders. "Scully, we need to talk." Mulder said firmly. "Mulder, I think we should wait until Monday and talk." "Why? How? By phone?" Mulder turned her to face him. "What do you mean?" "Are you going to phone me from Quantico and let me know that you've transferred back there? Are you going to hide from me like you did this morning, Scully? What's happened to us? To you? What did my punching Agent Harrison do to you? You used to be the bravest person I have ever known. Now, I barely recognize you." "Mulder, I haven't transferred back to Quantico or to any other department. Why would you think that?" Scully was stymied by his accusation. "You left me, Scully. You left me in the middle of the night and came back here. You didn't tell me you were going, you didn't leave a message for me, and you didn't return my calls. You were with Kersh at Quantico yesterday; his secretary told me." Mulder was relieved she was going to discuss the situation. "Mulder, let me get this straight. You think I left in the middle of the night to get away from you? You think I came back here and requested a transfer from Kersh? You think I am leaving you for punching Agent Harrison? Have I hit all the high points?" Scully coolly stated his inferred accusations to him. "Well, yeah." Mulder suddenly wasn't as sure as he had been that it was a good idea to talk. "If I answer your questions, will you answer mine?" Scully wanted to know what had prompted Mulder to break Agent Harrison's nose. "If I can," Mulder hedged. "Not good enough, Mulder. If I have to be truthful with you, I need your assurance that you will give me the entire truth about your actions." Mulder chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about the deal Scully was presenting. Could he do it? Could he be 100% truthful to her about his blind rage against Agent Harrison? He thought it over and said, "Okay, Scully. Honesty it is, but I have to warn you-you might not like what you hear." Scully raised her eyebrow and stared at him for a moment. "Okay." "First, give me your gun." Mulder was totally serious. "My gun? What do you want with my gun?" Scully didn't like the direction this conversation was taking all ready. "Just trust me, Scully. You may thank me later." Mulder held out his hand, waiting for her decision. Scully pulled her gun from her purse and handed it to him. "This better be good, Mulder." Mulder removed the clip and after checking the chamber, handed the gun back to her. He walked to his desk and disarmed his weapon. He stashed the gun back in the desk and took the clips into the kitchen. He sealed them in a Ziploc bag and threw them into the freezer. "Mulder, what the hell was that all about?" Scully was stunned. He thought she would want to shoot him after he told her the truth? "You asked for the truth and I'll give it to you, but I don't want you anywhere near a loaded weapon while you're listening." Mulder grinned and rubbed his shoulder unconsciously. Scully had the good grace to blush. "Okay, Mulder, I'm listening." Mulder opened the refrigerator and got himself a bottle of water. "Do you want anything, Scully?" "Yes, answers!" Scully turned and marched out of the kitchen and sat down on the couch. "Any time, Mulder." Mulder walked into the living room like a man walking the last mile of his life. He blew out a deep breath and started. "Do you remember what happened that day, Scully?" "Of course, Mulder. We made the bust. Everyone was happy. We went back to the office to finish the some of the paperwork before we interrogated the suspect. Agent Harrison was congratulating me and asked me out to dinner. You charged up like a wild man and punched him in the nose. He went down like a ton of bricks and when he got up he rushed out of the room, threatening to have your badge. I was left standing there, not knowing why you did what you did. You refused to talk to me and the next thing I knew, you ditched me. I went back to my room and you brought me supper and that's the last I saw of you until last night." Scully began to blush as a visual of Mulder-on-the-couch flooded her mind. "Did I miss anything?" Mulder glared at her. "Yes, Scully you did. I agree with the first part. We made the bust. You and I made the bust, Scully. We called for backup like good little agents and who should arrive but Agent Harrison." "Along with Ramirez, Folks and Reynolds, Mulder, don't forget them," Scully interjected. "As soon as the dust cleared, Harrison was all over you like white on rice, Scully. Touching you, helping you up, leaning on you..." "Leaning on me? Mulder?" "Yeah, leaning," Mulder's voice was gruff. "And leaning is bad, Mulder?" Scully was trying to grasp his meaning but so far she wasn't following his line of thinking. "Damn straight, Scully!" Mulder huffed. "Leaning?" Scully contemplated his words. When Mulder nodded as if she finally had it, she couldn't keep from laughing at him. "Would you care to describe the evils of 'leaning' to me, Mulder?" Scully laughter was low and sexy and Mulder was at once both aroused and angry with her. "You've never heard of 'leaning', Scully?" Mulder realized that Scully was not teasing him. "No, Mulder, that's why I asked you to explain." "Scully!" Mulder was floored. "When you were in high school and a guy would walk you to your locker or to class what did he do if he wanted to say something private to you? Didn't he lean in to speak quietly?" Mulder leaned closer to Scully as he spoke. Scully looked uncomfortable but didn't back away. "Mulder, I was a geek in an all girls high school. I didn't date until I was in college." Mulder was surprised at her admission, but tried again. "Well, when you were in college and you went to a party or a dance didn't guys come on to you? Didn't they 'lean' on you when they asked you to dance?" "I, uh, I didn't date much until I was in Med School." Scully interjected. "Work with me here, Scully. When you did start dating, didn't your boyfriend ever make sure all the other guys knew that you were together by being possessive and 'leaning' into your personal space when you were in public?" "Uh, no. That wasn't an option in our relationship." Scully evaded his questioning look. "Damnit, Scully! Didn't anyone ever hit on you at Quantico? Hasn't a man ever 'leaned' into your personal space, trying to invade and insert himself into your life and your bed?" Mulder had lost all patience. "Harrison was 'leaning' on you Scully." "And that's why you assaulted him?" Scully was incredulous. "Yeah, well mostly," Mulder continued. "That and the way he had been bragging earlier about how he was going to screw you before we left. You seemed to be either oblivious to his come-on or going along with it, and I just snapped." "Damn it Mulder, are you implying that it's been so long since I've been with a man that I don't recognize a come-on when it happens?" Scully surged to her feet and walked away from him. "Yes...no, I don't know! All I know is that I didn't want that slime ball to hurt you, Scully." Mulder followed her stopping inches away from her once again. "Mulder, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I am a grown woman! I choose who I become involved with and I choose when. Is that perfectly clear?" Scully was furious. All this because Mulder was trying to protect her for something that wasn't even a problem. Harrison was just being nice to her. He was no more interested in her than...than Mulder was. Suddenly Scully's anger deflated. "Nobody wants the Ice Queen, Mulder. I was in no jeopardy with Agent Harrison. He's just like you. I'm not his type." "Scully! How can you compare me to him?" Mulder's indignant voice displayed the pain this comparison gave him. Despite Mulder's shocked expression Scully continued. "I know what I look like, Mulder and I know what people think of me. Agent Harrison was just being nice to me. I can't believe that you wouldn't appreciate that. So many people treat me..." Mulder leaned closer into her personal space and asked quietly, "Treat you how, Scully?" Scully lifted her face to his and he could see the tears shining but not daring to spill from her beautiful blue eyes. "The men treat me as if I slept my way to Special Agent status and take it as a personal affront when I don't fall all over myself to do them. Or, there's always the rest that treat me as if I were one of the guys." She sighed. "And the women?" Mulder barely whispered. "The women are the worst. Oh, don't get me wrong. There's a few that are nice to me for no ulterior reasons, but usually they fall into two categories." Scully was beginning to feel very sorry she had pushed him to talk. She sighed and decided to get it over with. "There are those who dismiss me due to my appearance. They know I can't compete with them. I'm not tall enough, or curvy enough or pretty enough to get in their way so they don't feel the need to acknowledge my existence unless we are working a case together." Mulder couldn't believe what he was hearing. "And the rest?" "The rest want to be my friend so that they can try to talk me into setting them up with you or with Skinner or with any number of other men that are even remotely friendly with me. Mulder, Agent Harrison just wanted. . ." "Scully, stop!" Mulder's fingers pressed her lips lightly. "Agent Harrison wanted to fuck you, just like half of the single men in DC. The other half want to make love to you. When are you going to understand those simple facts? Sure, some of them will posture and try to make you feel inferior. That's what men with shit for brains tend to do." Mulder moved back and began to pace as he thought about how much to really tell her. He stopped in front of her again and decided to go for broke. "You, Scully, are a beautiful, intelligent, honorable woman and most of the men that come in contact with you are overwhelmed by you. They look at you and see beauty beyond compare. They talk to you or work with you for even a short period and realize how intelligent and educated you are and are intimidated by you. They watch you in all your dealings with other agents, witnesses, victims, even perps and are in awe of the fairness and morality you display towards each one." Mulder stopped in front of her, leaning over into her personal space, "Don't ever underestimate yourself again, Scully. Just because some cunt-hound like Harrison came on to you as a friend, don't think he didn't want what every man that lays eyes on you wants." "And what would that be, Mulder?" Scully's voice was barely a whisper. Mulder's eyes drank her in. He started at her shining, soft hair and let his gaze drift down to caress her beautifully defined brows. He fell into the blue of her eyes for a lifetime before pulling away and letting his eyes travel along the straight line of her nose to sweep across the sweet curves of her cheeks. His gaze lowered to her lips, lingering long enough to make her weak with want. He softly smiled as he studied the firm line of her chin and jaw. His expression became hungry as his gaze flicked back to her lips before sliding down the long column of her throat. His perusal of her made a puddle of moisture form between her legs. His eyes continued to slide down her body. He skimmed his gaze over first her right then her left shoulder, lingered on her exposed clavicles and down to caress her breasts. His pupils dilated as his stare lingered on her breasts long enough to watch her nipples harden and rise to sharp little points under her tank top-she wasn't wearing a bra. He quickly checked out the rest of her beautiful lithe body and let his eyes come back to rest on her breasts again. His breath caught and he sighed a long warm sigh that she could feel clear down to her knees. He finally dragged his glance back up to her neck and was captivated by the thrumming pulse point at the junction of her neck and shoulder, just above her clavicle. His head lowered to allow his lips to kiss her there. Just there, where her excitement was so evident. A soft kiss and he was gone, but the tension in her body was kicked up another notch as her eyes closed and her head fell back to give him better access while he lingered. Inside Scully's head she could hear a voice that sounded suspiciously like Emeril LaGasse, 'BAM!' "Possession of perfection, Scully. You are as close as they will ever get in their pathetic little lives to perfection in a woman. You are their high school wet-dream, their mother's delight, a goddess. You are so far above any of them that they are scared to death of you, so their reactions to you are a reflection of their maturity." She smirked at him and rolled her eyes. "Sure, fine, whatever." "I'm not joking, Scully. The ones that try to put you down, feel inferior to you and try to belittle your accomplishments to make themselves feel better. The ones that treat you like one of the guys are sidestepping the situation by removing their sexual desire from the equation. The women who ignore you are doing so to keep from having to accept their inferiority to you. The ones who treat you like a matchmaker are trying to reassure themselves that you are not interested in competing with them directly." "And the men like Harrison?" her voice was a soft murmur that swept across every nerve ending in his body and centered in his gut. "And men like Harrison and me, men that find you so fucking sexy that we'll face any kind of humiliation or embarrassment to touch you, to be with you-we're the worst kind." "I would never group you in with Harrison, Mulder. Even if you are 'leaning' in my personal space." Her smile was reflected in her wide blue eyes. They glowed with a new expression-one he had never seen before. His quizzical look spurred her to continue. "I know if I accept your 'leaning', you will still respect me. If I accepted a... what did you call him?" she asked with a small smile curving her lips. "Cunt-hound." Mulder was able to grunt out his reply. "Yes, someone like Harrison's offer, I would be reduced to just another conquest. I would no longer be a woman who made a choice, but a notch in the bedpost or a story for the water cooler crowd." "Why do you think I'm different from Harrison, Scully?" God, he was so close to her, he could feel her heat permeating his skin. She moved her lips closer to his ear. He could feel her breath wash over the sensitive skin of his ear and neck and realized he was trembling. "I've known you for years, Mulder and I've never seen you 'leaning' on another woman-another being the operative word here." Mulder shut his eyes and wondered when he lost control of this conversation. "But, I have seen many women leaning into your personal space. When you move away, they follow you with their eyes, their desire and availability obvious in their body language." She drew back and lifted her hand to cup his cheek, allowing her to look into his eyes again. "You are so gentle with them Mulder. You tease and cajole and let them maintain their dignity. You make them feel special, beautiful and not at all sorry they tried. You decline their offers and make them glad you said no. I've always wondered how you did that Mulder. And more importantly, why? Why do you decline?" Scully's warm, sexy voice was beginning to mesmerize him. Mulder swayed gently towards her again. Leaning close enough to inhale the scent of her hair, feeling the warmth the fiery color of it seemed to generate, he wanted to merge his soul with hers. "They aren't who I want, Scully." he growled. "Who do you want, Mulder?" Her blue eyes captivated him. Time slowed and seemed to come to a halt. Mulder recognized this for what it was. A defining moment in his life as portentous as the moment of Samantha's disappearance. If he followed his heart and told her how he felt, he could damage their relationship and lose Scully as a friend and a partner. Or, if he made the wrong choice and backed away now, trying to avoid possible rejection, he could destroy all possibility of a romantic future with Scully. Everything hinged on his decision-the possibilities were endless. He searched her eyes for a clue and decided to go with the truth. "You." He leaned in closer than ever and gently caressed her lips with his. If he had chosen incorrectly, he would have, at least, this kiss. When she did not retreat, he deepened the kiss and her lips parted in a quiet sigh. His tongue moved to explore and flirt with hers. Her response seemed almost shy at first. Her tongue and lips stroking tentatively against his. As he deepened the kiss even more she warmed to his touch and small moans of pleasure began to escape from deep in her throat. Her jaw and lips and tongue began to duel with his-seeking, begging and then demanding more. "Scully, I want you," he groaned as they both tried to catch their breath. "Mulder, kiss me." Scully demanded and moved closer to him. Mulder wrapped his arms around her and hauled her against him. He slid one hand to tangle in her hair, seeking to bring her closer still to his lips. His other hand slid down her spine, his fingers sliding over every notch of her vertebrae until they reached the crack of her perfect, heart-shaped ass. He slid his hand further down and cupped her butt-cheek, pulling her into direct contact with his entire body. He began to massage her as he held her to him, almost suspended in the air. Scully melted against him. 'Damn! Could this man kiss!' she thought as his lips and tongue devoured her. They drew back to take huge gasps of air into oxygen-starved lungs. Mulder rested his forehead against hers and Scully surprised him by stretching up and rubbing noses with him. "I want you too, Mulder," she said. "I've wanted you for such a long time, but I didn't think you..." "Wait, Scully," he gently pressed his fingers to her lips. "There's more." He let his fingers glide away from her lips, moving to cup her cheek then continue down her arm to grasp her fingers. He led her back to the couch and motioned for her to sit next to him. "I need to tell you... I don't just want you, I need you. Scully, I love you." Mulder softly caressed her fingers with his. "I've been in love with you for a long time. But as much as I want to make love to you and will probably hate myself tomorrow, I have to stop this now." Scully pulled back as if he had slapped her. "I understand, Mulder." She moved to stand, but he held her hand firmly and prevented her from rising. "Please, Scully. I want you to understand." Mulder was gentle but insistent. "I thought I was in love before, but I realize that this is the very first time I have actually been in love. I have all these expectations, all these dreams about how our love should be. Frankly, I'm surprised at myself, but I want to court you, Agent Scully." Mulder's sexy grin made her melt as he continued. "I want our first time together to be special. Not as comfort sex after a misunderstanding. Do you understand what I mean?" Mulder chewed his bottom lip. Scully stared at him for a moment. "You want a courtship before we have sex? Is that what you're saying?" "Yeah." Mulder pulled her even closer and nuzzled her ear before kissing it. "I want to ask you out to dinner and maybe dancing. I want to take walks with you through the fall leaves. I want to fulfill a few of your fantasies. I want to spend time with you, just hanging out. I want to kiss you until I feel like I'll explode if I don't get to make love to you soon." He stared into her eyes to make sure she understood him. Scully leaned into his personal space and made sure he was listening to her. "All right, Mulder. If you want to court me, I can wait. But just remember this, we've had a relationship for the last seven years. We've gone through times a lot of couples would never have survived." She brought her mouth close to his, her warm breath washed over his lips, making them tingle. "Don't make me wait too long, Mulder. I love you and I want to have sex with you." Scully rose and left him sitting there as she left his apartment. Fox Mulder blinked. And then he smiled.