From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 14 Aug 2005 01:01:45 -0000
Subject: A Meeting of Chances Pt. 1 by Dyann Zimmerman
Source: direct

Reply To: philer@onemain.com


TITLE: A Meeting of Chances Pt. 1
AUTHOR: Dyann Zimmerman
RATING: R/NC-17
KEYWORDS: MSR; RST
SPOILERS:  At this point, who cares? SUMMARY:
What if Mulder and Scully actually met while
in college?
DISCLAIMERS: Please sue me.  I'd love my
fifteen minutes.
NOTE: This story begins in 1983, Scully's
sophomore year; Mulder's first year in
graduate school.  I'm not a real stickler
about places, times, events, so some of the
M/S historical stuff may not be an exact
match for some of the background data
mentioned in an episode here or there.  But I
don't think it is distracting to the story.
And a few things contained within are fairly
implausible, but it makes things more 'fun'.
FEEDBACK:  philer@onemain.com

ANNE ARUNDEL HALL
UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND
COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND
August, 1983
"I think this is it," Scully said to her
father, finally locating room 617.  The tall
wooden door was slightly ajar, 'The Police'
blaring from the room.  Scully entered first,
moving the door fully open with her shoulder,
her father following her into the room.
"Excuse me," Scully said loudly to the girl
whose back was turned to them as she unpacked
her suitcase.  "EXCUSE ME," Scully said
louder, the girl finally turning toward her
voice.

"I'm sorry!" the girl apologized as she
turned her stereo down to a tolerable level.
"I didn't realize anyone was here," she
smiled, moving over toward Scully.  "Hi, I'm
Sue Connor," she introduced, offering her
hand.

"Hi.  Dana Scully," Scully told her, setting
her luggage on the floor to return her
handshake.  "Um, this is my Dad," nodding
toward her father as he stood next to her.

Scully's father gave the girl a smile and sat
the boxes he was carrying on the unmade bed,
assuming the roommate had already staked
herself in the side of the room with the
window.  "You want these here, Starbuck?"

Scully blushed slightly, embarrassed by her
father's use of her nickname in front of
someone other than family.  "That's fine,
Dad," she said, moving her bags to that side
of the room as well.

As a new student, Scully had little choice
about dorm or room assignments, just getting
assigned and taking potluck with a roommate.
She had spent her first year at Berkley, but
had decided to come east after her family had
left San Diego and moved to Annapolis.

"You're a freshman," the girl smiled,
thinking that an upperclassman would never
have come with her dad to move into the dorm.

"Sophomore, but new to Maryland.  You?"
Scully said, feeling odd that she was going
to live with a complete stranger.

"Junior.  I've lived in this dorm since my
freshman year.  I'm one of the weird people
who like this old place," she smiled, placing
a few more things in her dresser.  Their dorm
was one of the less desirable ones; in the
middle of the old part of campus but far away
from the newer, hipper social areas
surrounding the campus.

Scully looked around and realized she liked
the dorm as well.  The old hardwood floors
and the thick woodwork around the tall old
windows gave it a classic collegiate feel and
she liked that.  It made her feel like a real
college student, in spite of the fact that
her dad had checked her in and had called her
by her childhood moniker in front of a
perfect stranger.

"Do you have everything you need, Starbuck?"
he asked her after they had left the dorm and
were walking to his car.  Scully could sense
that her father was feeling awkward and she
understood, not really knowing how to say
'goodbye' either.

"I think so, Daddy.  If I don't, I still know
where you live," she joked, trying to ease
her anxiety.  When they had reached the car,
she could barely believe her father was so
nervous he was fumbling with his keys, not
able to look at her.  "I'll be fine. I've
done this before, Dad and this time I'm
close.  I'll be careful.  I promise."

Her father finally looked up from the keys he
seemed so interested in and gave her a small
smile, reaching to give her a hug.  "I know,
but it sure seems like you're going to be on
the other side of the world to me," he
confessed, the sincerity in his voice
bringing out more emotions in her than she
realized she had.  She knew her father had
been proud of her; proud that his youngest
daughter was working towards a degree in
Physics, had plans to be a doctor.  She was
pleased that he was pleased, but always felt
some guilt that part of his satisfaction with
her chosen path was because her sister hadn't
really chosen any path.  She didn't like that
he compared the two of them and that Missy
always seemed to be second best.  Maybe
that's why her sister took off and began
roaming the country; she felt the comparison,
too.

Scully had kissed her father goodbye and was
surprised to feel tears slip down her cheeks
as she walked back to her dormitory, not
really knowing what she was teary about, but
figuring there was some sentimental cause.
She had been anxious to move out of the house
of her parents and to get back to college.
Her mother had been just as sentimental
before she had left the house, her decision
to stay home and say her goodbyes there based
totally on the fact that she was afraid she
would break down if she went to the college.
Scully now realized why that was probably a
wise decision.

When Scully had returned to her room, Sue was
setting up an easel in the corner of their
room, the pungent smell of linseed oil very
present in the air.  "You're an artist,"
Scully observed.

"Well..., Art major.  I'd love to make my
living at it someday, but figure I'll
probably end up teaching instead and painting
for a hobby," Sue told her, moving to sit on
the end of her bed.  "How about you?"

"Um, Physics major," Scully said, suddenly
feeling kind of boring.

"You're kidding.  I've never actually met
one," Sue laughed.  "In my world, that stuff
doesn't even exist."

Scully smiled, "Well, in my world, a lot of
people forget that your stuff does exist."

"You one of them?" Sue asked, hoping that her
new roommate had some appreciation for art
and wasn't going to be a total bookworm.

"Nope.  I love the arts, movies especially,"
Scully told her.

"A Physics major who loves the arts...
Hmmmm... I'd say you are one unique person,
Dana Scully..."

IKE'S PUB
NEAR THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND
COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND
January, 1984
The fall semester had gone on, ended with
finals before Christmas and Scully was
relieved to get her grades in the mail during
the break, glad to know she had aced all six
of her classes.  Missy hadn't been home for
Christmas and neither had Bill, his
enlistment keeping him on the base for the
holidays.  It had just been her and Charlie,
the poor boy planning on partying his way
through his last year of high school whether
he made it or not.  Next year, he would be
off at college somewhere or enlisted in some
far away place, too.  She sensed her life as
she knew it was evolving into a life she
didn't yet know.

Over the course of the first semester, Scully
and Sue had become good friends, both of them
easing into a routine between classes and
Sue's work and Scully's studying.  They even
found a bit of time to relax, to have a good
time and relieve some stress once in a while.
"Want another?" Sue asked, holding the half-
full pitcher of beer over Scully's glass.

"One more," Scully said, not wanting to wake
up with a hangover since she had biology lab
in the morning.  Why did she ever schedule
herself for a Saturday lab class?  Scully
drank a bit at Berkley; she'd even been drunk
a couple of times, well maybe tipsy might be
a more accurate description.  She thought it
was kind of fun to get a little inebriated
once in a while, let her inhibitions down,
just so she didn't let them down too far.
But still, she didn't really consider herself
much of a drinker, but did enjoy going to the
bars with Sue or a few other friends once in
a while.

Sue dated a lot more than Scully, boys
seemingly much more attracted to her winsome
personality than Scully's more serious one.
And Sue was a pretty girl; tall and lean,
very artsy looking with her classic beauty
and long flowing hair.  Scully had been out
on a few dates, but with nobody that had
caught her real attention.  Besides, she
spent most of her time studying and didn't
feel she really had time to become involved
in a relationship.

"Dana, check out the two at the far end of
the bar," Sue said, noticing two guys who had
just walked in.  If Scully and Sue went out
together, it was usually to 'Ikes', a small
quaint little bar close to campus that was
known for never changing.  The owner was
proud that he had opened the place in 1955
and nothing had changed on the inside except
the evolution of his pinball machines.  He
said it was someplace people could always
come back to and find it just the way it had
been when they had last been there.  After
her Christmas at home, Scully appreciated
that sentiment.

"Too pretty," Scully said, noticing the
unusually good looks of them, particularly
the tallest of the guys Sue had spotted.

"There's no such thing," Sue commented, still
watching them.

"When guys are too good looking, they are
generally full of themselves," Scully told
her.  "They think they are doing you a favor
by talking to you."

"Well, I'm gonna go do them a favor," Sue
grinned, sliding out of their booth and
heading toward the bar.  Scully sighed,
wishing Sue wouldn't just leave her sitting
by herself.  But after a few minutes, Scully
stood and walked over to where Sue was now
flirting with both of the guys she had her
eye on.

"This is my roommate, Dana," Sue said,
introducing her to the two guys.  Scully
noticed the taller one, his barely interested
attitude instantly seeming snobbish to her.
The shorter one looked to be friendly, his
sandy hair and stocky build reminding her of
her younger brother.

"John Crawford," the shorter one introduced
himself.  "Good to meet you," he said,
already flirting with Scully.

"Um, Fox Mulder," the taller one said, Scully
figuring he was pulling her leg.

But Sue spoke up, "That's really his name.  I
think his mother was prophetic, don't you?"
Sue joked, but Scully could tell that she
meant every word of it.

"Everyone calls me 'Mulder'," he quickly
corrected.  After a bit of conversation, the
four of them moved to sit in the booth Sue
and Scully had vacated and they seemed to
quickly pair off.  Scully and John finding
something to talk about while Sue seemed to
be doing all the talking as Mulder just sat
and listened. Scully had found John to be a
nice guy, but felt Sue was involving herself
with someone who seemed sullen or arrogant or
both, she wasn't sure.

"He'll break your heart," Scully told her
after they had gotten back to their dorm.
None the less, the four had agreed to double
date the next weekend, but Scully was warning
Sue about her feelings for this Mulder guy.

"Oh, Dana.  You're such a cynic.  He's just
quiet, that's all.  He's not a snob.  He's a
Psych major.  How bad can he be?" Sue kidded
as she readied for bed.  "And besides... he's
absolutely gorgeous."

ROCK'S BAR
GEORGETOWN, DC
The next weekend
"Well, I think the focus on TV violence was
taken to a ridiculous extreme," Sue said,
sitting in the booth next to Mulder.

"But TV violence has become ridiculously
extreme," John said.  "I think the movie made
a good point."  The four of them had gone to
see 'Videodrome' and were enjoying drinks at
a college bar Mulder had chosen that was
frequented by a more artsy, intellectual
crowd.

After a few more moments of Sue and John
debating the movie's main theme, Mulder
finally spoke.  "I think you're missing the
point.  Cronenberg's focus was actually
fanaticism and what becoming totally absorbed
in something, like religion or television or
violence, can do to a person or society in
general, for that matter."  And while Scully
had been thinking virtually the same thing,
she didn't want to go on record as agreeing
with Fox Mulder.  She still found him
arrogant and didn't want to bolster his ego
any more than it already was.

They had all enjoyed more conversation and a
few drinks before John and Scully had left to
walk back to campus.  They had talked a bit
about their families, what classes they were
taking and what they hoped to do with their
degree when they got it.  "So, you want to be
a doctor.  I'm impressed," John said to her,
reaching for her hand as they walked.  "Any
special area of medicine?"

"Oh, I don't really know yet.  Research
maybe," Scully told him, enjoying the feel of
his hand on hers.  "How about you?
Environmental biology is a large field, too."

Their conversation was easy and Scully gave
thought to inviting him up to her room, but
figured it wouldn't be a good idea for a
first date.  He kissed her before they parted
at the door of her dorm and she kissed him
back.  "You got some time next weekend,
Dana?" he asked before leaving.

"Yeah.  Um, I'd like that," she replied and
they made another date, this one without the
company of Sue and Mulder.

Scully and John had continued to see each
other and they met most evenings at the
library to study.  Scully had the feeling
that John wasn't that serious of a student,
but came to the library more to see her than
to study.  And Sue and Mulder had continued
to see each other, Sue head over heals.

"I can't stand it when I don't see him," she
told Scully one night as they lay in their
beds in their room.  Mulder was a grad
student and knew John from a basketball
league they played in together.  Mulder lived
off campus and since he wasn't on campus at
Maryland, he and Sue didn't see each other as
much as Scully and John did.  "But he's so
hard to figure out.  Everything will be going
great and then he backs away and I don't hear
from him."  Scully wasn't surprised to hear
that, feeling that Mulder was a mysterious
one from the moment she met him.

"Sue, don't chase him if he doesn't want to
be caught," Scully told her.  "He'll break
your heart.  I told you that."

"But, Dana.  I want him.  I think he's the
one," Sue said, her confession surprising
Scully.  "But, I've given him several
opportunities to take things further, but he
just doesn't seem to want to."

"Sue, you've only known him a couple of
months," Scully pointed out, hoping Sue would
think things out a little further.

"I know, I know. But I want to be with him,"
Sue said.  "Don't you want to be with John?"

Scully thought for a moment, not sure she
wanted to go into the details of her
relationship with John.  "I don't know.  He
wants to.  We've talked about going somewhere
together for Spring Break, but it depends on
what I've got to do for my classes."

"Oh, Dana... live a little.  You don't always
have to be so serious about everything.  I
wish Mulder wanted to spend a week with me
somewhere," she said sadly.  "Don't you care
about John?"

"I... yeah, I care about him.  But I don't
think he's the person I'll spend the rest of
my life with, to be honest," Scully
confessed.  She liked John, enjoyed his
company and his conversation, his good
nature.  But he wasn't her intellectual
equal, so their interests were different and
she found herself talking to him mostly about
his interests because he really didn't
understand much about hers.

JAVA CAFE
COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND
July, 1984
Scully hadn't gone with John on Spring Break,
opting to spend most of it in Annapolis with
her parents instead, finding a lot of quiet
time to study.  John had been disappointed
and had gone with several buddies instead.
Sue had gone to France to study for the
summer, an opportunity she couldn't pass up
despite wanting to stay at Maryland to be
closer to Mulder.  She and Mulder had finally
become intimate and she missed him all the
more.  Scully had moved off-campus into an
apartment and Sue would be back to share the
apartment for fall semester.

"Hey, Scully.  John let you out on your own?"
Mulder said, walking up to her table in the
back corner of the coffee shop.

"Well, Mr. Mulder, I'm not really in the
habit of seeking John's permission," Scully
quickly retorted, finding Mulder's insistence
on calling her by her last name irritating.

"So, its MR. Mulder is it, Scully?" Mulder
said through his smile as he joined her at
her table uninvited.  Scully just looked at
him, and then returned her attention to the
book she was reading.  "Einstein, huh?  That
the kind of stuff you read to relax on a
Saturday morning?" Mulder commented noticing
her reading material.

"Not generally.  I'm working on a paper," she
answered, closing her book and taking a drink
of her espresso.  "What brings you here?"

Mulder smiled, proud of himself that he'd
managed to get the serious one to actually
talk a little bit.  "I was just out for a run
and stopped in for an iced tea and saw you
sitting here," he said.  After he'd sat
across from her, he could tell that she
seemed uncomfortable around him.  "You don't
like me, do you?" he asked bluntly.

"I don't know you," she answered just as
bluntly.

"Oh, surely Sue has mentioned me a few
times," he smiled, an edge of teasing to his
statement.

"Maybe once," Scully said unable to prevent
herself from returning his smile.  "She
misses you, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Mulder answered
noncommittally.  "But she is really into her
painting, so I'm glad she was able to go to
Paris.  It's a great opportunity for her.  I
think she's very talented."  Scully could
tell that he meant what he'd just said and
was beginning to think that maybe she had
judged Sue's crush too harshly.

"So, Scully, where're you from?" Mulder asked
taking a long draw from his tea.

"Nowhere really.  I'm a Navy brat, so we
moved quite a bit, San Diego and Annapolis
mostly," she explained, her hands fidgeting
with her book.  "How about you?"

"Chilmark... Martha's Vineyard... Greenwich,
depending on whether my father or my mother
is claiming me at the moment," Mulder joked,
but she could feel he was being serious.

Scully nodded, not really sure how to respond
to his revelation.  "Divorce is never easy, I
guess," Scully said lamely.

"Yeah... So 'Einstein'?" he said again,
taking the book from her to look at it.
"Isn't that a bit of a challenge for a
freshman?"

"Well, I wouldn't necessarily agree with
that, but anyway, I'm a sophomore, junior
standing, actually," she told him.

"I thought this was your first year here,"
Mulder said, handing her book back to her,
leaning back into his chair.

"It is.  I, uh, spent my freshman year at the
University of California, Berkley campus,"
she explained, taking another sip of her
espresso.  Mulder could sense that there was
something about Berkley that hadn't been the
best, but he let it drop.

"Well, I guess I better go," Mulder said.
"You and John got a hot date tonight?"

"I think we're going to a movie, but I'm not
sure how hot it'll be," Scully smiled.  She
almost felt sorry for him with Sue gone.  She
didn't think he was a very social person and
Sue and John were probably his only close
friends.  "If you wouldn't be too bored,
you're welcome to go along."

"That would probably insure that it wouldn't
be hot," Mulder joked.  "I'll see you
around," he said as he left.

SIX HOURS LATER
COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND
"I talked Mulder into going with us.  He got
a letter from Sue today and he's moping, so I
made him get out of his apartment," John
kidded when both of them showed up at her
door.  John gave her a soft kiss as a
greeting, Scully inviting them in while she
got her jacket.

Mulder wandered around, seeing a few of Sue's
paintings that he recognized from her and
Scully's dorm room.  He began perusing the
bookshelves and immediately realized the
books didn't belong to Sue.  "Holy shit,
Scully.  Einstein IS your kind of weekend
reading material," Mulder commented,
overwhelmed by the collection of readings
that only a serious intellectual would be
able to get through.

"I can't even pronounce some of the stuff she
reads," John said to Mulder as they left the
apartment, not really paying much mind.
"Almost as bad as the title of this stupid
movie you want to see."

"Koyaanisqatsi.  Ever heard of it?" Mulder
threw out to her.

"Life out of balance. Philip Glass did the
music.  I've wanted to see it, but didn't
know it was showing anywhere," she said
matter-of-factly.

"The Orpheum.  I've been waiting for it,
too," Mulder said, he and Scully barely
noticing John was still with them.

"Supposedly, Coppola does a cameo.  Walks out
of a phone booth or something," Scully adds.

"Hitchcock rides again," Mulder chuckles.

"Jesus, you two are just alike," John said,
not having a clue what idea he'd just put out
there for consideration.  But Mulder had and
was seeing John's redheaded girlfriend in a
whole new light.

Continued in Pt. 2

TITLE: A Meeting of Chances Pt. 2

"But why, Dana?" Sue asked her, seemingly
more upset than Scully.  Scully and John had
split just before Sue and Mulder had returned
from France but she hadn't said anything.
John had told Mulder and Sue had found out
from him, confronting Scully one afternoon in
their apartment.

Scully wasn't sure how to tell her why, but
realized she trusted her and needed to talk
to someone.  "He, um, wanted to get more
serious and I didn't," Scully started.

"Dana, why not?  He is crazy about you.
Anyone could see that," Sue said, gesturing
from her place on her bed.

"I know... I know.  It... it wasn't John,
really..." Scully confessed.

"Then what?"

"Sue... um, I need to tell you something.  I
haven't talked about it in a long time, but I
need you to understand," Scully said, her
voice beginning to falter.  "You know I spent
my freshman year at Berkley..."

"Yeah.  What's that got to do with John?" Sue
asked, not understanding where Scully was
going with her explanation.

"Well, what you don't know is... the reason I
left," Scully said, nervously fiddling with
her fingernail.

"Tell me," Sue said when Scully stalled,
realizing that something was seriously wrong.

"I had gone out with this guy a few times...
several times over the course of a month or
so, I guess.  I had just broken up with a guy
I had dated since the first month I had
gotten there and I wanted to take things
slowly.  Well, I guess he was a bit impatient
and he decided it was, um, time..." Scully
confessed, trying as hard as she could to
keep her composure. "And when I didn't
agree... well... um, he raped me..."

"Oh my God, Dana," Sue responded, absolutely
stunned at her friend's confession.  "Jesus
Christ..."

"Yeah... so... you can understand why
intimacy is such a problem for me," Scully
said, reaching for a tissue to dab her eyes.

Sue almost couldn't believe what she was
hearing, feeling so badly for her friend.
"Have you seen someone?  I mean, a counselor
or something?" Sue asked, not really knowing
how to respond to what Scully had just
confided.

Scully thought for a few moments, deciding to
tell Sue everything, feeling she would
respect her confidence.  "For a while I did.
The whole thing was a mess, Sue.  He, um,
beat me up pretty good, too and um..." Scully
said, hesitating before continuing.

"What happened to him?"

"He was arrested.  It was quite the news on
campus for a few days.  Even made the campus
paper," Scully nervously explained, the
memory of all of it coming back to her
clearly.

"Oh, Dana..." Sue sighed, very sad for
Scully's history.

"My name was, of course, omitted from the
newspaper reports, but everyone in my dorm
and most of my classes had heard the gossip.
I felt like I was walking around with green
polka dots on my face for a long time," she
continued, giving Sue a sad smile. "Everyone
stared at me and avoided me, afraid I'd talk
about IT, I guess."

"Did he go to jail?"

"Barely.  He got sixty days in the county
jail and some community service time, I
think.  He was still in jail when I left
Berkley," Scully explained.  "He's out
enjoying himself by now I'm sure and I'm left
with... with... bad memories and a bitter
heart..."

"But, have you talked with someone?  Maybe it
would help," Sue asked again.

"I did.  The police department tried to
provide something initially, but the
counselor was nothing more than an
insensitive cop, so I refused their
services," she said.  "I talked with a
counselor at the counseling center on campus
and she helped, but then I came back east and
I haven't followed up on anything."

"Do your parents know?" Sue asked
tentatively.

"No, not about the rape.  I just told them
I'd been mugged.  And I don't ever want them
to know," Scully said.  "I don't think my
father could handle it and I couldn't ask my
mother to keep something like that from him."

"Why don't you tell John?  I'm sure he would
be understanding, Dana," Sue told her.

"No.  And I don't want you telling anyone,
Sue, including Mulder.  I told you all of
this because I trust you to respect my
privacy," Scully said to her.

"I give you my word, Dana.  But you need to
talk to someone, a professional.  You can't
live the rest of your life afraid..."

FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND
The same day
"Please, Mulder.  She'd listen to you," John
told him, taking another drink of his beer.

"I barely know her, John," Mulder said, not
wanting to go anywhere near his friend's
relationship with Dana Scully.

"Then talk to Sue.  Maybe she can talk to
Dana," John said, almost begging, something
Mulder found somewhat irritating.

Mulder got himself another beer from the
refrigerator, handing one to John and sat
back down in the chair across from his
distraught friend.  "What reason did she give
you for breaking up?" Mulder asked, wondering
what could have happened, figuring Scully
must have had some reason.  He and Scully had
seen each other several times over the
summer; running into each other at the coffee
house, going to a couple of movies and a
concert as a threesome with her and John.
And he had grown to like her... a lot.  He
found her funny even, her dry humor
intelligently witty.  And her intelligence
was something he knew was wasted on John.

"Nothing, man... I don't know.  All of a
sudden she didn't want things to get serious
and that was it," John told him.

"That's it?" Mulder questioned, figuring John
was leaving something out.

"I guess she doesn't want to sleep with me.
But, shit, Mulder, we've been seeing each
other for months.  What does she expect?"
John said, his frustration showing.

Mulder was surprised, figuring John and
Scully had been sleeping together for a
while, at least since she moved into an
apartment by herself at the beginning of the
summer.  "Look, John.  I don't want to know
your personal business or Dana Scully's.  But
if it comes up, I'll talk to Sue.  If it
doesn't, I won't," Mulder told him frankly.

IKE'S BAR
UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND
November 27, 1984, Fall Semester
"Hey, there's a booth in the back that looks
empty, Dana," Eric said after they'd walked
into the fairly crowded bar.  This was only
the first date she'd had with Eric Bronson,
but after his self-absorbed conversation at
dinner, she knew it was going to be her last.
After her break up with John, she hadn't
dated anyone, but had been introduced to Eric
at a party by a mutual friend.  He was
handsome and intelligent but, she now
realized, he knew it; just the type of person
that Scully had no patience for.  She had
kept busy with studying and spent most of her
time at the apartment with Sue and often,
Mulder.

Mulder hadn't gotten involved in John and
Scully's breakup and Sue hadn't really
mentioned it to Mulder either.  John had
simply moved on, dating a series of girls who
would let him in their pants, or so Mulder
had described him one night at Sue and
Scully's apartment.  He noticed that while
Scully laughed at his joke, she didn't really
seem to find much humor in the subject, so he
hadn't mentioned John again.

"Come on, let's get the booth before somebody
else grabs it," Eric said, taking Scully's
hand as they weaved their way through the
rest of the students in the bar.  But when
they reached the booth, they found it
occupied, a guy with his head down on his
arms on the table, most likely very drunk.

"Hey, pal.  Maybe it's time for you to go
home," Eric said, shaking the guy's shoulder.
But as soon as the guy wobbled and sat
upright, Scully realized who it was.

"Mulder?" she said, surprised that it was him
and that he was stone cold shit faced drunk.
"Mulder, its Dana Scully.  Are you okay?"

"You know this guy?" Eric asked, wondering
where she could possibly know him from.

Scully didn't answer his question, but slid
into the booth next to Mulder, worried why he
would be so drunk and be so drunk alone.
"Mulder... talk to me.  What's the matter?"
she asked again.

"Scuwly... You here t' resssue me?" he
slurred, taking another slug of what was left
of his beer.  After he set it down, Scully
slid the glass out of his reach and put her
arm around him, her other hand grasping his
bicep.

"Come on, Mulder.  We need to get you home,"
she said, trying to help him to get out of
the booth.

"Hey, wait one minute.  I'm not here to help
this guy get home.  I just want him out of
the booth," Eric said looking at Scully.

Scully was initially stunned that her date
was being so insensitive, but then realizing
that his uncaring behavior didn't really
shock her all that much.

"I know him.  He doesn't drink like this,"
she said, now irritated at her date.

Mulder's eyes were barely able to stay open
and he was still almost not able to sit up,
his head finally lolling over onto Scully's
shoulder.  "Hey, dude, that's it," Eric said
angrily, moving closer to take hold of
Scully's arm.  "Come on, Dana.  Let's get out
of here."

"I'm not leaving him here like this, Eric,"
she told him firmly.

"Well, I'm not taking his sorry ass home,"
Eric said, acting like Scully had to be out
of her mind to even consider it.

"I'm not leaving him," Scully said more
firmly.

"Fine.  Then the two of you have a nice
evening," Eric said, walking away, leaving
Scully sitting in the booth with a very drunk
Mulder.

"Ahhh, ssshitttt, I spoild yer daaate,"
Mulder slurred, his voice almost cracking.
If Scully didn't know better, she could swear
Mulder had been crying.

"No. You know what, its okay.  Actually, you
did me a favor," Scully said, relieved that
she was rid of Eric now rather than later.
"Mulder, why are you here?  Where's Sue?"

Mulder leaned back against the wall in the
corner of the booth to steady himself, trying
to focus his eyes on Scully.  "You lllook
rrrealy nice..." he told her, noticing her
new, shorter hair style.

"Why aren't you with Sue?" she asked,
wondering if they had a fight or something.

"I wantd 't be by mself," he answered,
looking around for his beer.  He started to
reach for it, but Scully slid it further away
out of his reach.

"Why?  Mulder, you're worrying me.  Tell me
what's wrong," she said more strongly.

"Tday isss November 27thhh," he said like she
would automatically know what significance
the day had.

"Yes, so what?" she asked, noticing he was
about to cry again.  He said something but
she couldn't discern what he said, the bar
becoming more noisy as it was beginning to
fill.

"Come on, Mulder.  You need some fresh air.
I'll get you home."  Scully somehow managed
to help him up out of the booth and get his
coat on him.  He staggered as she assisted
him to make his way out of the bar and onto
the sidewalk outside.  There was a small
coffee shop a couple of blocks down the
street and she thought the short walk would
help sober him up.  She got him seated at a
table in a quiet corner of the coffee shop
and went to the counter to order two talls,
one with cream.

"Here, eat this," she said, offering him a
cheese sandwich she'd gotten also, knowing
the bread and cheese would help to sober him
much more than the coffee would.

"Gee, thanks, Mommm," he tried to tease.
Scully didn't say anything, deciding she
would just wait him out until he talked.
"There 'r thingsss you dn't know 'bout me,
Scuwllly," he started, consuming the sandwich
like he hadn't eaten all day.

"Like what?"

"I... I had a sistr... Sammm...," he started.

Scully assumed the obvious; that he no longer
had a sister, but what had happened to her?
Scully lay her hand on his, watching him as
he struggled to keep his composure.

"She wuz ta... she dispeared 'leven yrs go
tday, Vember 27thhh," he said, trying to look
at her.

Scully wasn't sure what to say, wasn't even
sure if he knew what he was saying.
"Disappeared?"

"Taken.  Taken frm 'r houssse while I watcht
it happn," he told her, his voice wavering.

"Oh, Mulder...  I'm so sorry.  Really.  It
must have been horrible," Scully told him
sincerely, his hand still grasping hers.  She
wanted to know more about it and wasn't sure
it was the time, but felt he needed to talk.
"Did they catch the person who took her?"

Mulder laughed a sad, knowing laugh and
looked at her for a few moments before
continuing.  "You know, Sue duzn't evn know
'bout thisss," he said, smiling at her.  "My
sistr... my sistr wuz ab duc ted," he said,
trying to enunciate his last word clearly.

"By who?"

"You shur you want t' know?" Mulder asked
sincerely.

"I want to know if you want to tell me," she
told him honestly.  "Who took her, Mulder?"

"She, she wuz abducted by aliens... I, I saw
it happn and no one wood evr bleeve me," he
confessed, unable to look at her for several
moments.  Finally, he turned to meet her
eyes, "You think 'm crazzzy..."

"No, Mulder.  I think you miss your sister,"
Scully said, putting his hand in both of
hers.  "I understand, really.  I have a
sister and I miss her, too."

"She 'ducted, too?" he asked almost
incredulously.

Scully smiled, "No.  No... She, um, well I
don't really know where she is.  She and my
father don't get along... she's kind of a
free spirit," Scully told him, taking a drink
of her coffee.  "My Dad is a Navy Captain and
mostly state side now, so she just stays
away.  I, um, miss her terribly... and
worry... especially when I don't know where
she is... like now."

"How long haz it been sin you hearrrd frm
her?" he asked, surprised that she was still
sitting there talking to him after he
mentioned aliens.

"I'm not sure she even knows I left Berkley.
I worry that she'll go there looking for me,"
Scully said.  "Last I knew, she was still in
California."

"I'm sorry, Scully," he told her, feeling
that maybe he had found someone who
understood, at least in part, what he was
going through.

Scully looked at him, feeling totally at ease
talking to him about personal family
information and realized she hadn't felt like
that with anyone before, not really.  Even
with Sue, talking about her horror at
Berkley, she felt reticent; felt she probably
didn't really understand.  But not Mulder; he
seemed to feel exactly what she was feeling,
like their minds were in the same place.  But
she couldn't be feeling like this; her friend
was in love with him and she needed to put
the thoughts she was having out of her mind.
He belonged to someone else; someone she
cared about.
"Mulder, let's get you home.  You can stay at
the apartment tonight.  We'll call Sue to
come get us," she told him, standing to go to
the pay phone to call.  But he held on to her
hand, looking up at her.

"Don't tell Sue 'bout my sisser.  Pleese,
Dana?" he asked, his sad look almost getting
the best of her.  And his use of her first
name for the first time didn't go unnoticed.

"You have my word," she told him sincerely.

"'s all I need."

UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND
STUDENT UNION
Two days later
Sue had come to pick up Scully and a very
drunk Mulder from the coffee shop, wondering
why Mulder had gone out without her, but
letting it rest until the next day when he
had sobered.  They had gotten into a serious
argument the next morning after Scully had
left the apartment to go into campus to study
at the library.  It was the most serious
fight they'd had and Sue was very upset that
Mulder had been so resistant to telling her
why he had gotten so drunk.

Sue had asked Scully about what had happened,
but Scully simply told her that she needed to
talk to Mulder. But Sue was reluctant to
confront him again, not wanting to risk
alienating him any further.  They hadn't been
getting along all that well since they had
returned from France.  So she figured she'd
just let it go, trying anything to keep their
relationship going.

"Hey, Scully," Mulder said as he walked up to
the table where Scully was sitting, eating a
cup of yogurt, reading the University paper.

"Mulder... you, um, are looking much better
than the last time I saw you," she said by
way of greeting.

Mulder sat down at the table beside her,
placing his books on the table before he
looked at her.  "I want to apologize for my
behavior Saturday night, Scully," Mulder
started.

"No need," she told him.

"Yeah, there is.  I usually don't drink like
that, but that doesn't excuse me laying all
my problems on you," Mulder explained,
slightly uncomfortable about what Scully's
reaction might be.

Scully smiled, the sincerity in his voice, in
his expression made her realize why Sue was
so head over heals in love with him.  "What
are friends for?" she said, realizing she was
suddenly nervous.

"Are we?  Friends, that is?" he asked,
surprised at her response.

"Well if you look at transitivity of
equality, I guess I am," she challenged him.

"Oh, since I am friends with Sue and Sue is
friends with you, then I must be friends with
you," he said, not missing a beat in meeting
her challenge.

"Something like that," Scully answered,
giving him a soft smile secretly knowing he
would understand her obscure reference.  She
knew few else would have.

Mulder watched her for a few moments, sensing
she was becoming uncomfortable with the topic
of conversation.  "Well, anyway, thanks.  I
owe you one..."  Mulder gave her a pensive
smile as he left, heading out of the Union
and across the quad to class, smiling to
himself that he'd just talked to a woman
who'd used the concept of transitivity of
equality in everyday conversation.  He knew
he needed to talk to Sue and the last few
days made him realize that fact even more.

DANA SCULLY & SUE CONNOR'S APARTMENT
COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND
Later that day
After her afternoon classes, Scully had gone
to the library, not heading back to the
apartment as she usually did.  If Mulder was
there, she didn't really want to see him.
She needed to clear her head and get her mind
back where it should be; on her studies and
off of her roommate's boyfriend.  And later
that evening when she returned home, there
was no Mulder; only a very upset Sue.

"What happened?" Scully asked as soon as she
entered the apartment and saw Sue wiping her
eyes, realizing she had been crying.

It took Sue a few moments to compose herself
enough to speak while Scully sat opposite her
on the couch.  "Oh, Dana.  I have screwed up
in a major way.  Major...," Sue said, still
unable to look at her.

"What?" Scully asked again.

Sue took a deep breath and finally looked up
from her tissue to look Scully square in the
eyes.  "I'm pregnant," she said bluntly.

Scully felt like her stomach had flipped and
was lodged somewhere in her throat.  She was
seriously concerned she might throw up.  She
knew immediately it was Mulder's and every
thought that immediately flew through her
mind was selfish.  She found herself more
concerned with Mulder and her growing
feelings for him than she did for Sue.  But
she took a deep breath and tried to swallow
and made her mind go where it should-- to her
distraught roommate and the child who would
be coming into the world.

"Sue..." was all Scully could manage to say
at first.

"I said it was major," Sue said, trying to
give her a small smile, but it wasn't a happy
one.

"Wha... how?" Scully asked, knowing Sue was
on the pill, having seen an empty pack in the
bathroom wastebasket.  She hoped that Sue
hadn't gotten pregnant to trap Mulder, but
felt in her heart that she wouldn't do that.

"Did you know that antibiotics could affect
birth control pills?" Sue asked.

Scully sighed and looked at Sue and nodded,
not knowing her roommate had even been taking
antibiotics.

"I was prescribed Tetracycline by my
dermatologist while I was home over semester
break," Sue answered her unasked question.

Scully felt like she couldn't breathe, but
managed to take in enough air to ask her next
question.  "Does, um, does Mulder know?"

Sue was only able to shake her head in
response, the topic causing her to cry again.
"I don't know what to do, Dana.  He'll never
want this baby.  He doesn't want kids... says
he'd only disappoint them..."

"You've talked about children?" Scully asked,
surprised that they seemingly had.

"Not really.  It just came up in conversation
one day while we were doing our laundry.  You
always see the most stressed out mothers and
their children there and it upset him," Sue
relayed, still sobbing between her words.
Scully went into the kitchen and returned
with a glass of water, handing it to Sue.
"Thanks..."

"What are you going to do?" Scully asked
softly.

"He'll dump me; I know he will," Sue cried.

"He wouldn't do that, Sue.  He'll do the
honorable thing," Scully said, feeling she
now knew Mulder well enough to know he
wouldn't just leave her to fend for herself
with his child.

Sue chuckled a small laugh, "Since when are
you endorsing Mulder?  I've never gotten the
idea that you thought much of him."

"Well, I, um, I was wrong about him, I
think," Scully admitted, hoping Sue didn't
notice her blush.

"We... we haven't been getting along all that
well lately.  His mind seems to be
elsewhere," Sue said, Scully wondering if she
had anything to do with that.

"How far along are you?" Scully asked.

"The doctor thought about two months," Sue
struggled to tell her.  Sue sat staring at
her hands, her fingers pulling at the tissue
she held.  "I've thought about this, Dana.
I've suspected for a couple of weeks, so I've
thought about nothing else, I think." Scully
had noticed that Sue hadn't been herself
lately and she also seemed increasingly
insecure about her relationship with Mulder.
Now she knew why.  "I, uh, really think my
only option is to have an abortion," Sue made
herself say.

"Sue... that isn't the only option..." Scully
said, wanting to be supportive of her friend,
but wanting to make sure she had thought of
everything.  "And you can't keep this from
Mulder; it's his baby, too."

"I know, I know..." Sue cried.  "But, even if
he did the honorable thing, as you said, our
relationship wouldn't be worth keeping if he
didn't want to be with me. He doesn't want
children and having one against his choice
would just ruin things... And I couldn't do
it alone, Dana.  I know it."

"How about adoption?  Maybe Mulder would be
okay with that," Scully projected.

"I can't do that... my parents...," Sue said.
"And I just can't tell Mulder.  He wouldn't
want this and I need him.  I have never felt
for anyone what I feel for him.  I just think
an abortion would be best for everyone
concerned."

"You could go away where your parents
wouldn't know; do a private adoption," Scully
continued.

"No, Dana.  Please..." Sue pleaded, not
wanting to hear any more.  "I know you are
Catholic, Dana and I know what you must be
thinking."

"No, Sue.  You're wrong.  It's your decision,
but I just want you to be sure.  I'll support
you no matter what you decide," Scully told
her and meant it.  And she thought about it
for a moment and wasn't sure what she would
do if she found herself in the same
predicament.  That's why she couldn't judge
Sue.  "I'll help you however you need me to,
Sue.  You aren't alone with this..."

"Thank you, Dana.  Thank you," Sue said,
appreciating her friend's understanding.  But
she knew she could never ask Scully to
compromise her personal beliefs.  She'd have
to do this on her own.

Continued in Pt. 3

TITLE: A Meeting of Chances Pt. 3

DANA SCULLY & SUE CONNOR'S APARTMENT
COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND
Two weeks later
Sue hadn't said much more about her
pregnancy, telling Scully she was still
trying to sort out her feelings to decide
what she should do.  Scully didn't want to
pressure her, so she didn't say much either,
figuring Sue would surely wait until after
the Christmas break to do something, whatever
that might be.  Then only a couple of days
before the start of finals, Scully's
grandmother had died and she had had to fly
to San Diego with her parents for the
funeral.  During the four days she was gone,
she had thought about Sue and tried to study
for finals when she could, but she had loved
her grandmother very much, so her mind wasn't
in the mood to concentrate on physics on the
problems of anyone but herself.

Scully had called Sue a couple of times,
hoping she could pick her up at the airport,
but hadn't been able to reach her, hoping she
was able to study for finals given her
current situation.  She had called another
friend to pick her up instead and found the
apartment dark when she had arrived back
home.  But after she'd put her luggage down
and turned on the lights, she'd noticed Sue's
purse and car keys in their usual spot.
Scully went to Sue's bedroom, softly calling
out to her, "Sue?  You sleeping?  I'm back."

When Sue didn't answer, Scully flipped on the
light switch and gasped at what she saw.
"Sue!" she said, running to the bed to her
friend's side.  "Oh, my God, Sue..."  Scully
found her unresponsive and her pulse was
barely discernable.  Scully was shaking so
badly she was barely able to dial the
operator to call for an ambulance.  When she
finished the call, she pulled the covers back
to elevate Sue's legs and that was when she
saw the pool of blood, much of it dried, on
the sheet beneath her friend.  "Sue...
Sue...," Scully cried, struggling to lift her
legs and put the extra pillow under her hips,
hoping to get more blood flow to her heart.
"Sue..."

GEORGETOWN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL
GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC
Forty-five minutes later
"Scully?" Mulder said, spotting her sitting
by herself in the corner of the ER waiting
room.  Scully had asked one of the nurses to
call him, not wanting to break the news to
him herself.  They had also called Sue's
parents but it was going to take them over
six hours to fly in from Seattle.

"Mulder, you're here," Scully said, wanting
to embrace him, but staying in her chair
instead as he sat down beside her.

"What's happened?" Mulder asked, his
breathing short and scared.

Scully didn't know if Sue had told Mulder
about her pregnancy while she had been in San
Diego and wasn't sure what to say to him.
"When I got home from San Diego, I found her
at the apartment, unresponsive, barely having
a pulse."

"San Diego?  You've been gone?" Mulder asked.

"Yeah.  To a funeral.  My grandmother.  I
just got home," she said.  "Have you talked
to Sue in the last several days?"

"Um, no... I, uh, I've been studying a lot,"
Mulder said, both of them knowing that wasn't
the reason he hadn't seen Sue.  But Scully
could tell that he didn't know about the
pregnancy. Sue hadn't told him.  Scully also
knew, by where the pool of blood was located
underneath Sue, that she had either gotten
the abortion and something went wrong or had
miscarried at home by herself.  "What
happened to her?"

"I'm not sure," Scully told him
noncommittally-- and she wasn't lying; she
wasn't exactly sure what had happened.  But
she was sure that her friend had been in very
grave condition when she had found her.

"Sue Connor's family," the nurse announced to
the waiting room and Scully and Mulder both
jumped up and went over to her.  "You're
family?" the nurse asked, noticing the youth
of the two.

"I'm her roommate and this is her boyfriend,"
Scully explained.  "Her parents are flying in
from Seattle.  We're all she has right now."

"Come with me," the nurse said softly and led
both of them to the family conference room.
"The doctor will be in in a moment," she told
them and her small sad smile gave Scully a
very bad feeling.

Neither of them said much, both just wanting
the doctor to hurry and get there.  Soon, the
blinds on the door rattled and a middle-aged
man in blue scrubs entered the room.  "I'm
Dr. Cameron," he said as he sat down next to
them.  "You're her boyfriend?" he asked
Mulder.

"Um, yeah. Fox Mulder," Mulder answered
quietly.

"Mr. Mulder, I'm sorry, but we were unable to
save Ms. Connor.  She, um, died from her
infection.  I'm sorry," the man told him
compassionately.

"Noooooo..." Scully cried, covering her face
with her hands, Mulder reaching to put his
arm around her shoulders.

"Infection?" Mulder managed to ask, his voice
quavering.

"You weren't aware?" the doctor asked.

"No... I, uh, hadn't seen her in a few days,"
Mulder explained.  "Infection from what?"

"Son, did you know she had been pregnant?"
the doctor asked, sensing that something was
not as it should be.

"Pregnant?" Mulder asked, almost gasping.
Scully had retrieved a tissue from her purse
and had composed herself a bit, but couldn't
look at Mulder.

"She had an abortion, didn't she?" Scully
asked, putting two and two together, figuring
out where the infection had come from.
Mulder looked at her then, the look of
stunned hurt on his face almost more than she
could handle at the moment.

"Yes.  And she developed a severe infection
that went untreated, probably for several
days," the doctor told them.  "And with the
loss of blood, she just didn't have enough
reserve to fight it.  Did she live alone?"

Scully was crying again, but managed to
answer.  "No.  I'm her roommate, but I've
been out of town.  I came home and found
her..." she sobbed.

"I'm sorry.  Truly.  We did everything we
could," he told them softly, truly feeling
sorry for the two young people who had lost
their friend.

The doctor had left them, offering them any
assistance they needed, but both of them
declining, still too stunned to know what to
do.  Mulder stood, turning to look down at
her.  "You knew about this," he said as a
statement, not a question.

Scully nodded, still unable to stop crying.
"I hoped she was going to tell you... I'm so
sorry," she told him.

"Yeah, me too," he said and walked out the
door, the sound of the blinds clanging as he
slammed it echoing in her ears.

EDGEWOOD CEMETARY
SEATTLE, WASHINGTON
Four days later
Scully hadn't hesitated to get a flight to
Seattle, arranging to take her finals before
she left.  She felt like she hadn't done
anything but cry since leaving the hospital,
meeting Sue's parents one of the worst things
she had ever been through.  They were
understandably grief stricken and angry at
everyone, particularly Mulder.  Scully had
tried to tell them that he didn't know about
the pregnancy, but they just seemed to want
to be angry.  And she understood that, she
guessed.  Their daughter was dead.

Scully had found out a bit of sketchy
information from the doctor who treated Sue
in the ER and from the investigator from the
coroner's office.  Apparently, Sue had driven
into Washington and gotten an abortion
somewhere, but it wasn't at a clinic.  Her
uterus had been perforated which was
repaired.  But, the colon had been punctured
without anyone realizing it and she was sent
home unaware.  Sue had taken a sleeping pill
and probably had bled enough during the night
that by the time she woke up, she wasn't able
to help herself.  The official cause of death
was septicemia due to E coli infection.

Scully had packed Sue's things alone, not
having seen or heard from Mulder since he
left her at the hospital.  She was worried
about him, but knew he felt betrayed by her
and she understood that, too.  Sue's parents
had taken a few of her personal things and
her paintings and asked Scully to arrange to
donate the rest of her stuff to Goodwill.

Scully had taken a cab from her hotel to the
church where the funeral was being held, not
trusting she would've been able to find it in
time if she rented a car.  It cost her a
fortune, but she just couldn't drive herself,
feeling too upset to concentrate.  She took a
seat several rows from the back of the large
chapel, the front section fairly full.

Scully spotted Sue's parents near the front
and a young boy and a teenage girl she
assumed to be Sue's siblings.  How sad they
looked.

Just before the service was to start, Scully
almost didn't notice Mulder slide into the
last row.  Initially, she was shocked to see
him, but after processing it, she realized
she somehow knew he'd be there.  He looked at
her and gave her a quick nod of
acknowledgment, but it wasn't a particularly
friendly gesture.  She knew he was angry with
her and realized that whatever kind of
relationship she'd once had or wanted with
him was over.

The service had been touching, sometimes
funny, but, overall, of course, almost
unbearably sad.  Scully was sad enough
herself, but seeing Sue's family in such
abject anguish had been immeasurably worse.

After the ceremony, Sue's parents had asked
Scully to ride in one of the funeral home
cars to the cemetery and she was touched that
they had included her.  It was cold and
dreary and the cover of the tent at the
gravesite didn't help much to shield them.
She saw Mulder walk up to the edge of the
small tent, only big enough to hold some of
the mourners.

She and Mulder still hadn't spoken and she
figured he wouldn't want to.  But after the
ceremony, he finally walked up to her.  "Nice
service as far as funerals go," he said to
her.

"Yeah.  I guess," she said, pulling her
collar up to shield herself against the cold
wind.  Snow had begun to flurry, just adding
to the already omnipresent gloom of the day
and the occasion.  "I still can't believe
it," Scully finally said.  "I can't believe
why we're here..."

"I still can't believe she didn't tell me...
or you," he told her as they stood there.

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Mulder.  And
we'll never know exactly why she didn't tell
you," Scully said, figuring that wasn't the
place to tell him what she did know.  But if
he would ever ask, she had already made up
her mind that she would tell him.  He
deserved to know. "If she had just let
somebody be with her..."

Mulder nodded, knowing if Sue had told either
one of them what she had planned, she'd
probably still be alive.  "When's your flight
back?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Tomorrow morning.  I have a hotel for
tonight," she said softly.  "You?"

"I'm leaving in a couple of hours.  I guess I
should tell you that I'm leaving Maryland,"
he told her.  "I'm... a... transferring back
to Oxford for the spring semester."

Scully was too saddened by the situation of
the day for what he said to fully register
with her.  She was sad; sad about everything
that had happened and how what had happened
to Sue had actually happened to so many
people, she and Mulder included.  "Oh," was
all Scully could say.

"I'm going to finish my Ph.D. there.  Too
many memories at Maryland," he confessed,
looking down at his shoes.

"Yeah.  I'm arranging for a new apartment.
My dad and my brother are probably packing my
things as we speak," she told him.

"But you're staying at Maryland?  I thought
maybe you'd go back to Berkley; maybe find
your sister," he said, his words making her
cry again, for some reason.  "Scully, I'm
sorry... I didn't mean..."

"No, it's okay.  It's just that Berkley is
the last place I'd want to be," she said
offhandedly, not thinking about what Mulder
might think about her statement.

"Dana, will you come back to the house with
us?" Sue's mother asked as she walked up.
"Your friend can come, too."

"Sure, Mrs. Connor, but, um, he has a flight
to catch," Scully said, knowing Sue's family
didn't know who Mulder was and also knowing
it was probably best.

"Good. We'll see you in a little while," she
smiled before walking away.

"Thanks," Mulder said to Scully after the
woman had left.  "If they knew who I was,
they'd probably shoot me."

"Listen to me, Mulder," Scully said
seriously, taking hold of his cold hand and
looking him directly in the eyes.  "None of
this was your fault.  As much as I cared for
Sue, she made a bad decision.  Several,
actually.  I told her I would help her in any
way yet she did this while I was out of town.
And she kept things from you that she
shouldn't have."

"But, in her own way, she was thinking about
you... and me," he observed.

"Yes, I believe she did what she did to spare
us both.  And look what happened."

Mulder looked at her for several long minutes
and her eyes met his, not wavering.  "You
take care, Dana Scully," he finally said to
her.

"You, too, Fox Mulder," she answered, trying
to give him a smile.  He let go of her hand
and gave her one last look before walking
away and getting into a small blue rental
car.  In one short week, Scully had lost two
important people in her life and Mulder had
just become the third.

HOME OF WILLIAM AND MARGARET SCULLY
ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND
Christmas break, one year later, 1985
Scully had graduated that following spring
after Sue's death, completing her degree in
just three years, graduating summa cum laude
despite her turmoil during her finals of the
1984 fall semester.  She had indeed decided
to go to medical school and had been relieved
to make it into Johns Hopkins in Baltimore.
She had absorbed herself in her studies,
finding little time for anything else except
her school work and working her medical
rotations. It was hard work, but she loved
it, realizing she had found her niche.

She had gone out a few times with a guy from
her gross anatomy class and had enjoyed being
out among people, but, again, not letting
things get too serious.  After graduation,
she had taken the summer off to relax and had
continued to see the counselor she had
started with after she had returned to
Maryland after Sue's funeral.  She had
started out talking about Sue's death and her
related grief, but had eventually moved on to
the events at Berkley.  She still hadn't told
her parents about the rape and never
explained to them where she'd go every other
Tuesday afternoon.  They hadn't asked.

Her brother Bill was able to get home for the
holidays and had brought his new fiance',
Tara Livingston, with him.  Scully was happy
for him, but it just made her realize how
empty her life often was.  Missy had actually
called on Scully's birthday in February since
Scully had turned twenty one and Missy wanted
to tease her about it.  But all Scully had
been able to do was cry about Sue and without
saying so, crying about Mulder as well.
Missy had given Scully her word she would
think about coming home at Christmas, but
Scully never really thought she would
actually show up.

But she had and Scully thought she was never
so glad to see anyone in her life.  The first
night Scully was home, she and Missy sat up
talking most of the night and Scully had
actually told her about Mulder and her
feelings for him.  She wondered, at times,
what he was doing, who he was dating,
wondered if he had gotten over everything
surrounding Sue's death. But that had been a
long time ago and she hadn't heard from
Mulder since Sue's funeral and never really
expected to again.

Old patterns are hard to break and Missy and
their father had gotten into an argument and
Missy had told Scully later that she would
never come home again as long as he was state
side.  Of course, Missy had said that before,
so Scully didn't put a whole lot of weight
into her statement.  Scully was dreading the
big meal the next day, expecting more family
tension, thinking to herself that she just
wanted to get back to her apartment in
Baltimore.

Scully was upstairs reading some journal
articles she knew she'd need next semester
for her diagnostics class, her eyes just
about to cross from reading and highlighting
her text.  Bill, Tara and Charlie had gone
with Ahab to the Officer's club and Missy was
helping their mother with some of the cooking
for the next day or, at least, trying to.
Scully had just gone downstairs to see what
her mother and sister were up to when the
doorbell rang.  "I'll get it," Scully called
to them in the other room.

When she opened the front door, she was
absolutely staggered by the sight of who was
standing there.  "Mulder?" Scully said.

"Scully," he said, enjoying a small smile
because he had shocked her so much.

"Wh, what are you doing here?" she stammered,
all she could muster.

"You haven't heard?  I've got a paper route,"
he teased, relieved to see her smile at his
lame joke.

"I'm sorry... Come in, come in," she said,
realizing she had just been staring at him
and he was probably freezing.

"Who's here, Dana?" Missy asked as she came
into the room, wiping her hands on a towel.

Scully looked at Mulder, before answering her
sister.  "This is an old friend of mine...
from Maryland," she answered.

"Fox Mulder," he said by way of introduction,
offering his hand to Missy.  She grinned at
Scully and returned his handshake.

"Fox Mulder, huh.  Nice name," she said,
smiling to her sister as she left the room.

Mulder watched her leave before returning to
look at Scully.  "She's back," Mulder said
and Scully noticed the melancholy in his
voice, knowing that his sister hadn't
returned.

"Yeah... So, what are you doing in
Annapolis?" Scully asked again, still
somewhat in a state of shock.  He looked
good; older, more mature.  His hair was
longer and he had a goatee, both making him
look more like a professor than a student.

"Long story... Um, can you go out for a
while?  Get a drink or something?" he asked,
feeling uncomfortable in her parents' house.

Scully let her mother know she was leaving
and grabbed her coat before she and Mulder
headed for his car.  Scully knew of a small,
quiet bar not too many miles from her
parents' house and gave Mulder directions as
he drove them there.

"So, are you going to tell me what you are
doing here?  And on Christmas Eve?" she
asked, taking a swig of her Heineken.

"I'm here with a friend from Oxford," Mulder
started, picking at the label on his beer
with his fingernail.  "My, um, mother went to
Boston to have Christmas with her sister and
her family, so I was kind of on my own," he
told her, almost embarrassed that he really
had no where to go for the holiday.  "My
friend invited me to be with his family."

"Your dad?" Scully asked.

"He usually spends the holidays with his
scotch," Mulder joked, but Scully knew he
wasn't just being funny.

"I'm sorry," she said, finding it almost
unimaginable to not have somewhere to go for
Christmas.  They didn't say anything for
several long moments and Scully finally was
the one to ask the obvious question.  "So why
did you come to see me, Mulder?"

Mulder thought before speaking, not really
sure what he wanted to say.  "I, uh, have
thought about things a lot," he started.

"Things?"

"Yeah.  Everything that happened at Maryland.
Everything..." he said sadly.

"I don't think you've answered my question,"
she said, Mulder taken aback a bit by her,
seemingly more confident in herself than when
he'd last seen her.

"I just wanted to see you.  'Everything'
includes you, too," he admitted.  "I tried to
contact you at Maryland several months ago,
but found out you'd graduated."  Scully was
surprised to hear him say he had come from
England to see her, not really knowing what
to think about that.  "So, how have you been,
Dana Scully?" he smiled.

She couldn't help returning his smile, the
memory of the last time he'd said her full
name flooding back to her.  "I've been doing
okay.  I'm staying busy; med school is a
challenge."

"Med school?  Where?"

"Baltimore... Johns Hopkins," she told him.

"Wow, I'm impressed," he said and truly was.

"Well, a Ph.D. in Psychology from Oxford
isn't chopped liver.  How many do they choose
for that program each year-- five or six?"
she smiled.

"Um, it was five," he smiled back, knowing
that neither one of them were slouches.  But
that's what had always clicked between him
and Scully.  Their brains were secretly
making love.
They talked about school for a while, what
else they had been up to in the last year.
"So, you dating anyone?" Mulder asked, taking
a drink of his second beer, feeling more
relaxed.
"Dating?  What's that?" Scully kidded.
"I take that as a 'no'," he said.  "Why not?"
"Several reasons, but, right now, the number
one reason is med school.  It takes most of
my attention... and then some," she told him.
"How about you?"
"Nah... I'm not much of a 'dater'," he joked.
"Never?  Or just since Sue?" Scully asked
carefully.
"Never, really.  I had a girlfriend at Oxford
for a while when I was an undergrad," he told
her.  "But she decided she liked some other
boy better," he kidded.
"She dumped you..." Scully smiled.
"Not exactly.  We were living together and I
caught her in our bed with one of her
professors," he told her bluntly and she
immediately felt bad for teasing him.
"Ouch," she said.
"Sue was only my second 'serious' girlfriend,
I guess and that had about run its course,"
he admitted.
"Run its course?" Scully asked nervously,
wondering what he meant.
"That's why I hadn't been around as much.
Truthfully, I was intending to break it off.
I wish I had.  Maybe she'd still be alive,"
he said sadly, still fingering the label of
his beer bottle.
"Don't say that, Mulder.  Life just happens
and I'm not sure we have much control over
most of it," she said. "I think Sue knew you
were ready to break up; she just didn't want
to accept it."
"Scully, I've always wondered what you knew
about the whole situation at Maryland," he
said, almost tentatively.
"You really want to know?" Scully asked,
always telling herself she'd tell him if he
ever asked.
"Yeah... I do," he said slowly.  So she told
him; all the details about the pregnancy, how
it had happened, Sue's insecurities where he
was concerned, her self-centered reasons for
not wanting to tell him about the baby.  He
didn't seem too surprised by anything she
revealed to him, but felt bad that Sue had
wanted their relationship so badly when he
hadn't really wanted it to continue.  And
running through his mind also was how much
Scully had played a part in him wanting to
end things with Sue.  He had found himself
attracted to his girlfriend's roommate and
then everything had gone to shit.
They had talked a while longer, finally
changing the subject to lighter things;
things they had always liked talking about so
much-- movies, books, the latest albums each
one of them had bought.  After they had
arrived back to Scully's parents' house, they
sat in the car for several minutes before
Scully spoke.  "Would you like to have
Christmas dinner with us tomorrow?" she asked
quickly.  "I'd, um, really like it if you'd
come."
Mulder found himself wanting to very much and
agreed without much hesitation.  His friend
would understand. "I'm glad I came by.  It's
been great seeing you," Mulder said as she
reached for the handle to open the car door.
"Yeah, it's helped to talk about Sue again...
with someone who understands," Scully told
him softly.  "I've been through a lot,
Mulder... and I'd like to have my life back."
Continued in Pt. 4

TITLE: A Meeting of Chances Pt. 4

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
The next semester, Spring 1986
Christmas dinner with the family had gone
better than Scully had expected; the presence
of Mulder and Tara had probably tempered
things.  Scully's mother seemed glad that her
daughter had invited Mulder, feeling his
sense of humor was good for her sometimes too
serious daughter.  Her father was cordial to
him, but always seeming a bit suspicious of
any male that Scully brought to the house.

Both of them had gone back to school, vowing
to stay in touch.  Scully had driven Mulder
and his friend to the airport and Mulder had
surprised her with a hug when they called his
boarding number.  Scully had written him a
letter as soon as she'd gone back to school
and she had received one from him a couple of
weeks later.  They continued to write and
Mulder had even called on her birthday,
Scully wondering how he'd even known what day
it was.  Scully sent letters fairly
regularly, but Mulder's were sporadic, but
they were always wonderful when she received
them.  She wished they could call, but
foreign phone calls were too expensive for a
couple of college students.

Scully would generally write on her letter
for a week or so, adding things as they
happened or as she thought of things.
Mulder, on the other hand, would write his
all at once, generally in a burst of ideas
that kept him up most of a night.  Then she
had received a letter from him that he was
coming home for semester break before the
summer semester started.  He told her he
would be at his mother's in Greenwich and
would call when he got in.

Scully had written back and told him she
would be spending a week or so with her
parents at break, so he would probably find
her there, hoping they could get together.

"Is Dana there?" the voice asked when her
father answered.

"Who's calling?" he always asked when she got
a phone call, something that always irritated
her.  Her father gave her a warning look, so
she knew it must be a male.  He always did
that, too, and she was tired of him still
treating her like a defenseless little girl.
"Don't tie up the phone too long."

"Hello," she answered, ignoring her father's
remark.

"Dana..." Mulder said, his voice immediately
bringing a smile to her face.

"Hi.  When'd you get in?"

"A couple of days ago.  My mom's had me tied
up..." he said, explaining why he hadn't
called sooner.  "You got time to maybe meet
up somewhere?"

"Of course," she answered surprised that he
felt he had to ask.

"It'll take me a good six or seven hours to
drive it, unless you could pick me up at the
airport," he asked.

"Just tell me when your flight is," she
smiled looking forward to seeing him.

She had picked him up at Dulles and he had
wanted to get a hotel close to the airport,
but she insisted that he stay with her
family.  "Missy's room is now the guest
room," she told him.

"No wonder she doesn't feel welcome at home,"
he quipped, Scully laughing at his
observation as she realized it was probably
true.

They had put his bag in the room, talking
with her parents for only a short while
before they left to go out.  Her father
wasn't thrilled that Mulder had her
attention, telling her 'the boy seems
rudderless', but her mother was thankful that
they had stayed in contact.  She liked him.

They had gone to a neighborhood place that
the Scully's frequented; a family owned
Italian bar and grill that a younger crowd
frequented the later it got. "You look
great," Mulder told her before perusing the
menu.

"So do you.  England agrees with you," she
smiled noticing how rested he seemed.

"I've been asked to do an internship with
Scotland Yard," he told her.  "I'm kinda
pumped about that."

"As you should be," she said, impressed by
her friend's opportunity.  "If I could ask...
doing what?"

"Working on psychological profiles.  I seem
to be good at it," he shrugged, trying to
appear nonplussed by his ability.  "It'll
cause me to graduate later, but I just
couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"Wow... Sounds interesting... I guess," she
said.  "Isn't it kind of... of gory?"

"As opposed to what, slicing up cadavers?" he
teased.

"Touche'," she smiled.

They had a nice meal with easy conversation,
Mulder's offbeat sense of humor making her
laugh despite herself.  After dessert, they
had moved to the bar side and had a couple of
drinks before they decided it was too loud to
talk, so they left and went to a small
coffeehouse that sat on the bay.

"This place is great," Mulder said, looking
around at all the art on the walls and the
eclectic antiques on the shelves and hanging
from the ceiling.

"Yeah, Missy introduced me to this place.
They have some good music here, too," she
commented.  They talked for a long time,
enjoying their conversation, being with each
other.  Scully knew she had feelings for him,
but wasn't very confident that he
reciprocated those emotions.  And even though
she told herself her thoughts were illogical,
she still felt some guilt at being attracted
to a man who had been her roommate's
boyfriend.

They had finally left when the place closed
at three a.m., neither of them really wanting
to, but having no choice.  After they arrived
back at the Scully home, no one was awake,
but the living room light had been left on
for them.  "Tired?" Mulder asked her.

"Yeah, I guess I am.  I didn't sleep too well
last night," she admitted, figuring her
excitement at him coming home had kept her
awake.

Mulder moved toward her and his hands found
their way to rest on her hips, his look
telling her what he was going to do next.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked quietly, hoping
the rest of the family was sleeping quietly.

"If I can kiss you back," she smiled to him,
her calm look betraying her inner nerves.
Her heart was pounding in her chest as he
bent down to her, his lips touching her
tentatively at first.  As his mouth lingered
against hers, she moved to embrace him, her
arms wrapping around his waist loosely. After
their kiss ended, he embraced her more firmly
and they stood there holding each other for
several long moments, both of them
keeping what they were thinking to themselves
until Mulder spoke.

"I'm glad I know you, Dana Scully..."

The next day, she had driven him back to the
airport to catch his flight.  They had
embraced before he got on his flight, but he
hadn't made a move to kiss her even though
she wanted him to very much.  Mulder was an
unpredictable person, she thought, and she
wasn't sure if that was a good or bad trait.
She remembered what she had initially told
Sue when she had first been attracted to him,
'He'll break your heart', and hoped that she
hadn't been prophetic.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
Fall semester, 1986
Mulder had gone back to Oxford for the summer
semester and Scully knew it would be a long
time before she would see him again.  She had
written and he had written back, but both of
them were extremely busy and the time between
letters gradually grew.  When she had sent
him a couple of unanswered letters and hadn't
heard any more from him, she began to worry
that something may be wrong.

Finally, Scully had called and found that he
had moved to another apartment and her
insecurities began to rear their ugly head.
He hadn't mentioned it in his letters; maybe
the letter containing that announcement
hadn't arrived yet.  At least she attempted
to tell herself that.  Finally, after almost
another month, she had received a letter from
him that told her he had moved in with a
friend.  She didn't know why, but she had a
nagging feeling the 'friend' just happened to
be female.

Scully felt her fears were confirmed when she
didn't hear from him for another month and
knew he had moved on.  She was sad and she
missed having thoughts of a future with him.
Almost since she had met him, even when she
didn't even particularly like him, she felt a
strange attraction to him, like there was
some kind of underlying karma between them.
But after his visit earlier in the summer,
she felt herself falling in love with him and
thought he had feelings for her.  She wished
she knew what had happened to change
things...

After a few more weeks, she met a guy at a
friend's party and she agreed when he'd asked
her out on a date.  She liked him and she
found comfort in having someone to think
about once in a while.  She was very busy
with classes and working her hospital
rotations, but found time to date him with
some regularity.

Scully hadn't continued her counseling since
she had moved to Baltimore to attend Johns
Hopkins last year, feeling she was able to
make a lot of progress over the summer and
not really having time to find a new
therapist in her new location.  She knew she
could go back if she ever needed to but she
wanted to try things on her own, hoping she
was okay to move on.  But after her
disappointment with Mulder, she again began
to feel insecure about herself where men were
concerned, but was determined to follow her
feelings with her new boyfriend.

"You going home for Thanksgiving, David?" she
asked him as they sat on the floor of her
apartment eating pizza.

"Yeah.  I've got an easy week after, so I
don't have a lot of studying to do," he told
her, taking a drink of his beer.  "How about
you?"

"I'm going to make it for the day, but that's
all.  I'm swamped here and don't always get
the best studying done when I'm at home," she
told him.

"I'll miss you..." he said, leaning over to
give her a soft kiss.

"Me, too," she told him and realized it was
the truth.  David was in his last year of
graduate school, finishing his Architecture
degree at Georgetown, hoping to get a job
close to the Washington area.  He was from a
small town in Illinois and liked being in an
urban area instead of in the middle of corn
country.

They had been dating for almost three months
and Scully found herself wanting to try to be
intimate with him, knowing he wanted it, too.
She hadn't told him about Berkley, but had
told him about Sue's death and he had been
kind and understanding about her trauma.
"When is your flight?" she asked him softly.

"Not until day after tomorrow. It's really
early, though.  Cheapest one I could get," he
told her.

"You all packed?" she asked.

"I'm not taking much.  I figure I'll be able
to just wash everything over and over," he
admitted and she chuckled.  He leaned over to
her again and gave her another kiss, a kiss
she intensified.  He wrapped his arms around
her and pulled her closer to him as they
continued to kiss.  "I want you, Dana," he
told her as he nuzzled her neck, his hand
enveloping her breast.

"David..." she sighed, losing herself in the
feeling of his mouth on her skin, his hand on
her breast.  She allowed him to lay her back
onto the floor, his body half covering hers.
They continued to kiss, her fingers slipping
into his hair, her other hand stroking the
skin under his shirt.

He began to unbutton her sweater and when it
was open, he eased the cup of her bra down
and he took her nipple in his mouth.  What he
was doing felt wonderful and she tried to
keep her mind on what she was feeling, not on
what was actually happening, what he was
doing to her.  But she couldn't.  Each time
he touched her in the same way that she had
been violated, she felt herself emotionally
flinch even though he wasn't doing anything
she didn't want to want.  He was being gentle
and loving, but she couldn't keep her
memories of the rape out of her mind.

Scully kept moving with him, both of them now
being naked from the waist up, still kissing
and petting on the floor.  But when he
unzipped her jeans and his hand slid into her
pants beneath her underwear, her body seemed
to remember as well and she panicked.  She
jerked underneath him, David immediately
stopping what he was doing.  She couldn't
scramble to a sitting position fast enough,
grabbing her sweater to cover herself.

"What's the matter?" he asked her softly,
unsure why she had suddenly stopped.

"David... I, I can't," she said, trying to
regain her composure.

"I have protection," he said, totally
misunderstanding her reason for stopping.

Scully looked at him momentarily, almost
feeling sorry for him that she had gotten him
so worked up and then slammed them to a
sudden stop.  "It's not that, David.  I wish
it was," she told him sadly, buttoning her
sweater without putting her bra back on.

"Did I do something wrong?  You seemed like
you wanted this, too," he told her, feeling
badly that he may have done something she
didn't want.

"You didn't do anything wrong, David...
nothing," she told him sadly, moving to sit
on the couch.

"Then what?" he asked, a slight tone of
impatience in his voice.

Scully couldn't bring herself to tell him the
real reason, not knowing him well enough to
trust him with her secret.  Hell, she
couldn't even bring herself to tell her own
parents.  "I wish I could tell you, but I
can't.  But it isn't you, David.  It's me and
I'm sorry I let things go as far as they
did," she told him.  "I didn't intend to lead
you on.  I wanted it, too."  He had stood
from his place on the floor and was putting
his shirt back on as she continued.  "I'm
sorry, David.  I'm sorry..." she said,
watching him trying to avoid her eye contact.

"I think I'd better go," he said softly, his
confusion and disappointment very apparent.
"Um, have a good holiday, Dana," he told her
clumsily as he gathered his coat and left.
And as soon as the door closed behind him,
she began to cry... to sob, burying her face
in her hands.  And she realized it wasn't
only because of the horrible scene she'd just
made with David, but realized it was more
because she wished she had Mulder to be with.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
December 30th, 1986
After her failure with David, Scully had gone
home to her parents' house and spent several
more days with them than she had planned,
needing some familiarity to ground her.
Missy hadn't come home for Thanksgiving and
Bill had gone with Tara to her family's home
in Sacramento, so it had just been her and
Charlie.  She had made an appointment with
her counselor again; realizing she hadn't
been doing as well as she thought she had.
Her mother had asked her about Mulder and
seemed sincerely sad that things hadn't
worked out between them.
Scully had finished the semester, her grades
meeting her usual standard.  She had only
spent a couple of days at home with her
parents at Christmas before returning to her
apartment.  She had been invited to a New
Year's Eve party near campus, but decided to
spend a little time by herself to clear her
head a bit before diving in to the next
semester's curriculum, knowing that her step
1 medical licensing exam would be coming up.
And she didn't have anyone to ask to the
party and of all nights, New Year's Eve
wasn't one you'd celebrate without a date.

The afternoon before, she had a burst of
energy and began to clean everything in the
apartment, closet included.  Despite the
temperature outside, she was hot and sweaty
and was just getting ready to get into the
shower when she heard a knock at her door.
She hoped it wasn't her friend, Marie, coming
over to try to talk her into going to the
party and certainly hoped it wasn't her
overbearing neighbor, Marcy.  She wasn't in
the mood for either one of them.  Scully
sighed her irritability and slipped on her
robe, going to the door.  But when she opened
it, she was almost unable to process that it
was Mulder standing there.  "Hi, Scully," he
said plainly.

"Mulder," she said equally as plainly.

Mulder looked at her for a few moments,
reading the expression on her face.  "I've
upset you...," he finally said, still
standing in the hallway.

"That was months ago," she replied sharply,
her old hurt suddenly turning into anger.

"Yeah... Can I at least come in?  For a few
minutes?" he asked humbly.

"I'll be counting," she said, moving out of
the way to let him in, slowly closing the
door behind him.  She was a swirl of
emotions, her heart pounding, finding it
difficult to catch her breath.  But she
didn't want him to see that.

Mulder looked around her small efficiency
apartment as he entered, immediately noticing
one of Sue's paintings on her wall.
"Sue's..." he said, glancing toward the
picture.

"Her parents gave it to me after the
funeral," she said quietly.

"No roommate?" he said, not seeing any
evidence of another person living there.

"Not this time," she smiled sadly and, of
course, he knew why.

Scully sat down in the chair in her small
living room and Mulder followed her lead,
sitting on the couch opposite her.  "How have
you been?" he asked tentatively.

"I'm okay... busy," she answered succinctly.

"Glad to hear it," he replied uncomfortably.
You could have cut the air with a knife and
the conversation was about as stilted as it
could get.

"Mulder, why are you here?" Scully asked,
finally getting to the point.

"I went by your parent's house, thinking
you'd be there for the holidays.  Your Mom
gave me directions... shortly before your Dad
gave me the boot," he told her.

"I didn't ask you 'how', I asked you 'why',"
she retorted quickly, not falling for his
diversion.

"I wanted to see you... to talk to you."

"About what?" she asked, knowing that he
could surely hear the hurt creeping into her
voice.

"I wanted to explain," he told her.  He knew
he had hurt her when he had quit writing.
But he had lost himself; lost himself in
someone who had required that he do it even
though deep down he knew he was on the wrong
path.

"Mulder, you don't owe me any explanations.
Friendships wane... people lose contact.  It
happens," she said, but not very
convincingly.

"You may not think I owe you an explanation,
but I want to give you one, Scully. Please?"
he asked gently.  Scully gave him a short
nod; her curiosity peaked at what he seemed
to have on his mind.  "I think I told you
once that I had had a serious relationship
with someone at Oxford, that we had lived
together," he started.

"The one you found sleeping with her
teacher," Scully said, almost meanly.

"That would be her...  Anyway, after I
returned to England after seeing you last
summer, a mutual friend called and told me
she was ill.  So I went to see her.  I really
don't know why, I guess, but I did," he
explained.  "I found out she had gone through
a major depressive episode and wasn't in very
good shape."

"What had happened to her?" Scully said,
thinking she had been through a hell of a
time--- twice and managed to keep going.

Mulder thought for a few moments, "You know,
I don't think I was ever really able to
determine that. She just seemed to have
fallen apart," he told her.  "Anyway, she
really didn't have anywhere to go and I
stupidly thought I could let her live at my
apartment without getting involved with her
again."  Mulder shifted on the couch,
slipping his coat off and Scully figured he
planned on staying awhile, not sure how she
felt about that.

"It worked for awhile.  She went her way and
I went mine.  That's when I was still writing
you," he told her, his hands hanging between
his knees, his elbows resting on his thighs.
He hadn't really been able to look at her
while he was talking and she figured that had
been for the best.  Scully didn't say
anything, but just let him talk.

"Well, soon, Phoebe, um, that's her name..."

"Yeah, I caught that."

"Um, Phoebe wanted to rekindle things and I
let it happen.  But I want to make it clear,
Scully.  I was just as much responsible as
she was... she didn't talk me into it," he
said firmly.  "Well, maybe she did in her own
way.  She always had a way of making me feel
inadequate which seemed to just make me feel
like I needed to prove to her that I wasn't.

And after she had, um, screwed me over
before... well, talk about feeling
inadequate.  And I guess, this time, I wanted
to prove to her that I was man enough to make
a relationship work."

"Did it?  The relationship, I mean.  Are you
still with her?" Scully asked carefully.

"Of course not.  Phoebe isn't stable enough
to ever make a relationship work. And that
was part of my problem... I was afraid to
leave her..." he said and Scully knew exactly
why.

"You were afraid she'd do something and she'd
end up like Sue," Scully finished for him.

Mulder nodded slowly and she could see that
the memory of Sue's death still haunted him.
"When I went to see her in the hospital, I
think I was just 'there', so she pounced.
Had I not gone to see her, she probably
would've never given me another thought; she
would've pounced on someone else," he
admitted.  "I was just one in a long line, I
think.  As soon as she found something
better, she moved on.  And, by then, I was
more than relieved.  I wanted to contact you,
but I figured you were so angry at me you
probably wouldn't even talk to me."

"I'm not sure angry is the word," she said to
him.

"I'd rather you be angry at me than to tell
me I hurt you."

"Of course I was hurt, Mulder," she told him.
"We seemed to be getting close when I saw you
at Christmas.  You go back to school and send
me twenty page letters every week and then
just nothing, no contact at all.  How did you
expect me to react?"

"Like you have.  I think you are extremely
gracious to even let me into your apartment,"
he said, giving her one of his small skewed
smiles that she had found so endearing.  "If
a humble apology will mean anything to you,
I'm giving you one in spades, Scully."

"It's not that easy, Mulder.  I, I don't
develop relationships very easily, so I had a
hard time when I didn't hear from you
anymore."

"I thought our relationship developed
easily... I mean, we just seemed to click
immediately," he said, wondering what she
meant.  "What do you mean?"

Scully looked at him and remembered the day
when she had talked to her counselor about
wanting to tell him about her history,
thinking he was the one man she could share
it with, share herself with.  But that
feeling had passed and she wasn't sure she
would ever get it back again.  "Nothing..."
she answered.  "Nothing."

Mulder could tell she'd just closed herself
off and figured he'd better leave well enough
alone.  "Well, I guess I'd better go.
Wouldn't want to wear out my welcome," he
joked, but meaning every word.  He knew he
was on thin ice and was going to try to
prevent himself from falling all the way into
the cold water below.  "Can I call you?"

"You can find my number listed with
information," she told him, Mulder
encouraged, at least, that she didn't say
'no'.

He started to walk to the door, remembering
he hadn't yet checked into a motel; he had
driven straight from Annapolis.  "Is there a
cheap motel anywhere close?"

"You don't have a motel? It's after
midnight...," she answered.  "You'll have to
drive far out of the city to find anything at
this time of night."

"I'll find something," he smiled, opening the
door to leave.

"Mulder," she called before he had fully
closed the door.

"Yeah," he said, sticking his head back into
the apartment.

"You can have the couch," she told him,
probably against her better judgment.

Continued in Pt. 5

TITLE: A Meeting of Chances Pt. 5

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
December 30th, 1986
The next morning, they had gone up the street
to a small diner for breakfast, neither of
them having slept very well.  The morning in
the apartment had been a bit awkward, but she
noticed Mulder was on his best behavior,
trying not to upset her routine.  She wished
he had called, at least written, to tell her
what was going on in England; she would've
understood... maybe.  But he had just left
her hanging, thinking the worst.  Now that he
had explained things, it sounded like he had
been fairly miserable and felt trapped by his
situation.  Scully also knew that Sue's death
had shaken him to his core and she guessed
she could understand how he could've gotten
himself into the situation he had.

"More coffee?" Mulder asked, refilling his
own cup and she nodded.

"I'm surprised you're walking this morning,
having slept folded up on that lumpy couch,"
she said, taking a bite of her omelet.

"I just appreciated the hospitality.  Really,
Scully.  You didn't have to do that," he told
her sincerely.

"I'm not usually in the habit of doing things
because I feel I have to.  At least, not any
more," she told him.

"You mean you used to?" he asked wanting to
know anything about her that he could get her
to tell.

"It seems I pretty much did what was asked of
me, I guess; what others thought I should
do," she told him, almost not realizing what
she may be revealing. "But I've had things
happen in my life that... well, let's just
say made me try to take more control over my
own life."

"While you were at Berkley?" he asked,
remembering that he got the idea from her
once that something had gone awry while she
attended there.

Scully stopped eating, looking up at him,
stunned at what he'd just asked her.  "Wh,
why would you ask me that?" she said, praying
that Sue hadn't said anything to him.

"I don't know.  Any time you mention Berkley
I always get the idea you didn't leave under
the best of circumstances," he told her,
taking a sip of his hot coffee.

"Did Sue say something to you?" she asked
tentatively.  "About Berkley?"

Mulder's look was one of surprise, now
knowing for sure that something had happened
there and that Scully had shared it with Sue.
"No.  I don't think Sue told me much of
anything when I look back on it."

Scully breathed a sigh of relief that Sue
hadn't betrayed her confidence and that
Mulder didn't know about the events at
Berkley.  But then she thought maybe it
would've been easier if he did...  Then she
would never have to tell him herself.

"When do you have to go back to England?"
Scully asked, changing the subject.

"I fly out of Dulles tomorrow afternoon," he
told her.

"Dulles?" Scully asked, her question turning
in to a small smile.  "You must've been
confident that you were going to stick around
for a couple of days."

"Hoped..." he smiled back, biting off the end
of the strip of bacon he held between his
fingers.

As they were walking the short distance to
her apartment, Mulder hoped that Scully had
understood the stupid mess he'd gotten
himself into and maybe she was going to
forgive him.  It hadn't seemed like Scully
was dating anyone, so he took a chance.  "I
don't know if you noticed, Scully, but today
is New Year's Eve."

"That Oxford education must be working," she
said dryly.

"You have any plans for tonight?" he asked
tentatively.

"I'm not much on big, loud celebrations," she
said, opening the door to her building,
Mulder following her in.

"Me either.  I thought maybe just a nice
dinner somewhere and a movie or something,"
he said.  "Surely you know where the best
theater is."

Scully opened the door to her apartment and
Mulder closed it behind them and she still
hadn't answered him.  She hung up her coat
and flipped on the light in her small
kitchen, filling the kettle and setting it on
the burner to boil.  She got a mug from the
cabinet, "You want some tea?"

"Yeah, if you're having some," he said,
sitting down in the chair at her second-hand
table.

Neither said anything as she finished a mug
of tea for each of them and she joined him at
the table.  "Mulder..." she started, taking a
deep breath before continuing.  "You can't
just show up here and expect to pick up where
we left off... where ever that was."

"I don't expect that, Scully," he answered.
"I'm trying to start over..."

Scully looked at him, remembering how much
she had wanted to be with him; how she had
felt about him...  She knew she had never
come close to feeling that way about anyone
else.  "I need to be able to trust you..."

"I know I screwed up, Scully.  But I screwed
up my life more than I did yours," he pointed
out.

"That's your point of view," she answered,
letting him know that his behavior had indeed
screwed up her life.

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make light of
what I did to you.  I... I'm trying here..."
he said, his look pleading with her to give
him a chance.  "It's just dinner and a
movie," he smiled.

Scully chuckled, "Nothing is ever just dinner
and a movie with you."

She had succumbed and Mulder was able to get
reservations somewhere; he didn't tell her
where, but he told her to dress up.  He had
worn a nice suit and tie, the deep brown
looking regal with his hazel eyes and
chocolate brown hair.  She had worn a midcalf
length black skirt with a deep blue turtle-
neck sweater that, he thought matched her
eyes exactly.

They headed out to dinner, the restaurant a
nice quiet place with a very expensive menu.
Without even looking at it, he had ordered
wine and a couple of appetizers "Mulder, did
you have a big week at the British Trade
Union or something?" she commented at his
extravagance.  Mulder smiled, but she could
tell he was embarrassed.

"I probably should tell you... not that I
really care one way or the other, but..." he
started, taking a drink of his wine.

"What...?"

"Money isn't a problem for me... I mean my
parents have lots of it," he said sheepishly.
"So..."

"Mulder, you lived in a dump at Maryland,"
she said, surprised at his revelation.

"I told you, I really don't care about it...
unless I use it to buy a beautiful woman an
expensive dinner on New Year's Eve," he
smiled, really noticing how pretty she
looked.

The dinner was nice and they were very over
dressed for the late showing of 'Blue Velvet'
at the Grand, but neither of them cared.
"Hopper always plays a crazy so well," Scully
said as they left the theater.

"The guy who played Paul was the star of
Lynch's student film," Mulder pointed out,
taking her hand as they walked the couple of
blocks to his car.

"'Eraserhead'.  I've never seen it; have
you?" she asked him.

"Yeah.  It was at the Orpheum while I was at
Maryland.  Sue wouldn't go, so I went by
myself.  I should've called you," he
chuckled.

Finally, they went back to her apartment, no
question that he would stay there again.  "I
think you should redecorate your apartment,
Scully; like Isabella Rossellini's," he
teased and she smiled, remembering how kinky
and strange it was.

After they had gotten into the apartment and
removed their coats and shoes, Scully had
gotten two beers from the refrigerator while
Mulder settled himself on the couch.  "It's
daddy, you shithead! Where's my bourbon?"
Mulder joked when she handed him his beer.

"Mulder, will you PLEASE get that movie out
of your head," she chuckled, sitting down
next to him.

"Sorry.  Sometimes I have a one track mind,"
he admitted, Scully returning a knowing
smile. "Of course, sometimes that comes in
handy. You've never been off my mind since I
met you."

"Mulder, you didn't even notice me when I met
you," she told him, remembering what seemed
like so long ago.

"Oh, I noticed you, Scully.  But I also
noticed that you didn't like me," he smiled.

"Well, I've been wrong more times than that,"
she told him, taking a sip of her beer,
suddenly feeling nervous as Mulder scooted
closer to her.

Mulder looked at her and smiled, slipping his
arm behind her on the back of the couch.
"I'm gonna ask you again, Scully... Can I
kiss you?"

Scully didn't answer, but leaned into him and
their lips met, his hand resting on her
thigh.  When they broke apart, Mulder took
her mug and sat it on the end table, bending
to kiss her again, this time, wrapping both
his arms around her.  She returned his
embrace, her fingers sliding into his hair,
her thumb smoothing against his ear.  "I've
wanted to be with you for so long, Scully.  I
think about you all the time," he told her,
nuzzling her neck.

She could feel her arousal, wanting to be
able to be with him, but fearing she could
never make it that far.  She knew what her
counselor would be advising her to do.  Tell
him; talk to him about everything and take it
one step at a time.

"Mulder... Mulder," she said, grasping his
shoulders to move apart from him.  "We need
to talk."

"Do we have to?" he kidded, but then noticed
the very serious, almost sad, look on her
face.  "What?"

Scully took his hand in hers and she knew he
must be able to feel her trembling.  "I need
to tell you something... I need you to
understand," she said, finding it difficult
to even speak.

"Scully, what's wrong?  It's something
serious, isn't it?" he said softly to her.

"Yeah, you could say that," she said with a
soft laugh.  "You know, even though I know
you are a Psychologist, I forget that
sometimes," she started, Mulder wondering
where she was going with her conversation.
"You asked me once if something bad had
happened while I was at Berkley... I think
you knew that something had."

"Yeah, I got that idea by the way you would
never talk about the place," he told her, his
thumb rubbing against the back of her hand as
he held it.

"Oh, Mulder..." she sighed, not really
knowing where to start.  "I've never told
anyone but Sue and my sister..."

"You can trust me. I hope you know that," he
reassured her.

"I do know that or I wouldn't be sitting
here, Mulder," she said, looking at him,
seeing the concern on his face.  "But it's
hard for me..."

"I've got all the time you need."

"During my second semester there, around
spring break, I guess, I starting dating a
guy I met at a campus bar.  He was with a
friend of my roommate," she started, unable
to look at him.  "We began to date and after
we'd been dating for a month or so, he, um,
thought it was, um, time to sleep together.
But I didn't..."

"Oh, Scully," Mulder sighed, already
imagining where her story was going.

"So..., he, um, raped me... beat me up," she
said, still unable to look at him, to see his
reaction.  "I was in the hospital for a few
days, more from emotional trauma than the
physical injuries I had, I guess."

"God, Scully... I'm so sorry..." he said,
barely able breathe.  "Did you prosecute
him?"

"Yeah.  It, um, was quite the news on campus
for awhile.  That was almost as bad as the
rape," she told him.

"Where is he now?" Mulder asked, wanting to
hunt him down and make him pay.

"He did a little time... community service,
but, I think the judge figured since we were
dating, that he, um, was just taking what was
already his," she told him, still holding his
hand.  "Anyway, as soon as I finished my
finals, I came back east to be closer to my
family."

"Do they know?" he asked slowly.

"Just my sister and then, only later.  At the
time, I told my parents I was mugged," she
admitted.  "I had to explain my
hospitalization... and my move back to
Maryland."

"I'm sorry, Scully... sorry something like
that had to happen to you.  I wish I could
change it," he said compassionately.

"I'm just glad you haven't left yet," she
smiled, finally looking at him.

"I know you are kidding or I might be
offended," he smiled back.  "I, uh, am...
touched that you trust me enough to tell me
this, Scully.  I can see that it is still
very difficult."

"Mulder, the reason I needed to tell you
about it is probably as difficult as telling
you about my attack," she began again.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

Scully took a deep breath, trying as she
might to look at him, to be totally honest
and open with him. "I, um, have a hard
time... being, um, intimate... I want to, but
I... panic, I guess, I don't know," she
stammered, wondering what he must be
thinking.  "I have flashbacks... when I...
we..."

"I understand, Scully.  I do.  As you said
earlier, I am a psychologist..." he smiled.
"Scully, look at me," he said, touching her
chin so that she would look at him.  "I'm not
pressuring you.  I hope you didn't think I
was."

"No. No, not at all..." she told him.  "It's
just that I... I want to be with you, Mulder,
and I know I can't."

"You don't have to tell me, Scully, but have
you seen someone, a therapist?" he asked
gently.

"Yeah, a couple of them, actually," she
chuckled.

"And?"

"And I'm still seeing one.  I think this one
might actually be helping me..." she said,
not realizing how that sounded.

"Psychology isn't an exact science," he
joked.  "Scully, I'll wait as long as it
takes.  I'm not going to lie to you.  I want
to be with you.  But I'll help you through
anything you want my help with... I promise,
Scully.  No pressure."

"Oh, Mulder," she said, his tenderness
getting the best of her as she reached to
embrace him, her emotions finally letting
loose.

"As long as it takes," he whispered to her.

Finally, she moved back from him, going to
the bathroom to wash her face, compose
herself a bit.  When she returned to the
living room, Mulder was still sitting on the
couch, not knowing what else to do, she
figured.  She sat back down next to him,
touching his cheek as she gave him a soft
smile.  "Thank you, Mulder.  You can't know
how much your understanding means to me," she
told him.

"I want you to know something, Scully," he
started, choosing his words carefully.  "I
care about you... very much... VERY much.
I'll take this step by step along with you if
you'll let me."

"I think maybe I have an idea for the first
step..." she smiled to him, a sly tease to
her voice as she stood, holding her hand out
to him.

"Yes..." he smiled back.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch tonight
if you don't mind just sleeping," she told
him.

"Really?" he asked, surprised by her gesture.

"One step at a time, Mulder..."

OXFORD UNIVERSITY
OXFORD, ENGLAND
Spring semester, 1987
Mulder had turned his rental car in at the
Baltimore airport and Scully had driven him
into Washington to catch his flight out of
Dulles on New Year's Day.  Scully had slept
fitfully the night before, but loved the
feeling of Mulder holding her.  He seemed to
have slept quite well, she noticed.  They had
kissed for a long time before Mulder had to
board his plane and she had cried all the way
back to Baltimore.

She had started on a letter to him almost the
instant she had gotten back to her apartment
even though she had a lot of studying to do.
They continued to write and Mulder called her
weekly, sometimes more often.  He must have
decided that money came in handy as well when
your girlfriend lived an ocean away.  She
loved getting his letters; they always
started out funny and entertaining then
veered into romantic and sweet.  She kept
them all and re-read them when she'd be home
and alone on a Saturday night.

Mulder's last letter had been a bit gloomy
and when he'd called, she'd asked him about
it.  He and his father had had a major row on
the telephone and Mulder had told her that
he'd had a job offer from Scotland Yard.

"Are, are you going to take it?" she'd asked
tentatively when he'd called.

"I told my father I was," he answered, his
voice angry and tired.  "You're my only
consideration, Scully.  If it weren't for
you, I wouldn't care where I lived."

"Mulder... I have to do my residency here in
the US.  I can't finish over there," she told
him to let him know she would come there if
she could, just to be with him.

"Scully, they said I could start any time.  I
could work there just while I finish my
dissertation," he told her, his head spinning
trying to decide what to do.  "Then come
home."

"I think you should do it, Mulder.  You won't
have another opportunity like this," she
said, wondering why she had said that when
she would almost give her life to have him
back home.

Mulder had taken the job and had begun
profiling a big case even before he had been
assigned an office.  He had been swamped with
work and finishing his research and he found
his letters to Scully his lifeline.  His
communication with her was all that made him
feel like he lived within the real world. He
didn't know if he'd be able to wait until the
end of the semester to see her.

"Yeah, just a minute," Mulder yelled, hearing
the knock at his door.  'Who the hell?' he
mumbled to himself as he climbed out of bed,
slipping his pajama bottoms on, wondering who
would be knocking at his door at four a.m.

"Scully!" he said, almost yelling his
surprise at seeing her.  "Oh, my God."  He
grabbed her in a hug, her suitcase thumping
to the floor as she returned his embrace.
"What are you doing here?!"

"I wanted to see you," she smiled.  He pulled
her into the apartment and grabbed her bag,
closing the door behind them.

"I can't believe this," he said, grinning at
her, his arms going around her again.  He
pulled back and smiled at her before giving
her a long, slow kiss.

"I've missed you so much," she mumbled
between kisses.  He took her hand and led her
to the couch, pushing the newspapers out of
the way to clear a place for them to sit.

"My maid is out sick," he joked as they sat.
"How...?"

"Spring break and I was between rotations, so
I have a week.  I wasn't sure until the last
minute that I could come, so I thought I'd
surprise you," she said, taking hold of his
hand.  She really didn't have the money for
the flight, so she had asked her mother for
extra with the monthly amount they sent her.
Her mother had understood and sent the money
and her best wishes.  Scully wasn't sure
whether or not her mother would tell her
father, but hoped by the time she did, she
would be somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean.

"You can stay a week?" he asked excitedly.

"If you want me," she smiled.

Mulder smiled back and bent to give her
another long kiss as confirmation.  He
noticed that she looked beyond jet-lagged and
figured she probably hadn't had much sleep
for a good 24-hours.  "You look tired," he
said, putting a strand of her hair behind her
ear.

"Way beyond tired.  The late flight was the
cheapest," she shrugged. "I, uh, don't really
like to fly, so I wasn't able to sleep much."

"Then let's get you into bed.  We can talk
tomorrow," he said standing from the couch.
"You can have the bed; I'll sleep here."

"Um, you don't have to," she said quietly.
"That is if you don't mind sharing your bed."

"Oh, I think I could make that sacrifice," he
smiled, picking up her bag and leading her
into his bedroom to sleep.

THE NEXT MORNING
"Hey..." he said to her as he sat next to her
hip on the bed, rousing her from her sleep.

"Mmmmmmm," she yawned as she stretched,
trying to wake herself.

"Breakfast?" he asked, handing her a cup of
Earl Grey when she'd sat up.

"What time is it?" she asked feeling like
she'd slept for several days.

"Yours or mine?" he smiled.  "You've been
asleep about ten hours if that helps."

She smiled to him, thinking how handsome he
was, even wearing a ratty 'Maryland' t-shirt,
his hair still wet from his shower.  "This
tastes wonderful," she said, noticing he'd
remembered to add cream.  "How did you
sleep?" she asked quietly.

"Better than usual," he smiled and leaned
over to give her a soft kiss.  "I'm glad
you're here..."

They had spent the rest of the day visiting
various places of interest on campus and
around the town of Oxford.  In the afternoon,
they had gone over to the University Parks
and watched part of a Cricket game and then
took a walk along the Cherwell River.  She
enjoyed seeing where he lived his life; it
was very different from hers.  "I don't know
what I expected, but this isn't it," she told
him, admiring the peaceful rolling hills.

"It's different, isn't it?  Nobody gets in
too much of a hurry over here," he commented
as they walked hand in hand.

"It's beautiful..."

"Yeah, beautiful," he said, stopping and
bending to give her a kiss. Scully returned
it, loving the feel of his firm lips against
hers, the feel of his long arms wrapped
around her.  "You cold?" he asked, feeling
her trembling against him.

"No.  No..." she said and he immediately knew
what was wrong.

"Scully, I'm not trying to pressure you into
anything else.  I just like kissing you," he
told her tenderly.

Scully led him over to a nearby bench, both
of them sitting, Mulder wondering what she
was going to say.  He could tell she had
something on her mind.  "You are the most
patient person I have ever met in my life,
Mulder," she started.  "Most guys would have
sent me and my problem packing long ago."

"I told you I'd wait as long as you needed.
I meant that, Scully," he told her.

She smiled at him and leaned up to give him a
lingering kiss.  "And I believe you, Mulder.
That's kind of what I want to talk about."
She took hold of his hand, giving him a
nervous smile as she continued.  "You
remember that I told you I was seeing a
therapist, trying to work through...
everything."

"Yeah.  And I admire you, Scully.  I know it
isn't easy to do that," he comforted.

"Anyway, I, um, well, along with my
therapist... um, feel I'm ready to try to be
with someone...," she said, feeling the blush
go up her neck to her cheeks, hoping Mulder
thought her sudden color was from the cool
England air.

"Someone?" he teased gently.

Scully gave him a teasing smack to his
stomach and he feigned injury, trying to keep
things light, trying to ease her obvious
nervousness.  "If that's what you want,
too..." she said awkwardly.

"You're kidding, right?" he smiled, putting
his arm around her, bringing her hand to his
lips to kiss her fingers.

"There's something else," she said, figuring
she might as well get it all out at once.  He
nodded to her, encouraging her to go on.  "I,
um, I really am not... um, what you would
call 'experienced', Mulder," she confessed,
her stomach in one big knot by then.

Mulder hesitated for a few moments, not sure
what she was trying to tell him.  "Are you
trying to tell me... that... you are... that
you've never...?" he stumbled, really unsure
if the 'V' word would offend her.

"No, Mulder.  I'm not a virgin if that's what
you are trying to ask," she told him, giving
him a small, shy smile.  "But I am very
inexperienced and certainly when compared to
you."

Now he knew why she was telling him what she
was telling him; she was insecure, not only
about having sex, but, specifically about
having sex with him.  "I hate to damage the
image you seem to have of me, Scully, but I'm
no Casanova.  I'm not as experienced as you
seem to think I am," he told her.

"But you lived with someone, Mulder," she
pointed out.  "And I know you and Sue..."

"Yeah, well, you are aware of both of my,
uhum, conquests, then..." he admitted.

"Really?" she said, almost disbelieving that
a handsome, intelligent 25 year old wouldn't
have been more prolific.

He laughed at loud at her remark and she
immediately realized what she said must have
sounded like.  "Pretty pathetic, huh?" he
laughed.

"Jeez, I'm not handling this very well, am
I?" she said, leaning her head back and
covering her face with her hands.
"Uhhhhhhhhh..." she groaned.  Mulder took her
hands in his when she lowered them, leaning
in to kiss her softly.

"Nothing could be further from the truth,
Scully. I realize the step you took today;
how difficult it was," he told her.  "And in
case you haven't noticed, I think you are...
well, everything."
Continued in Pt. 6

TITLE: A Meeting of Chances Pt. 6

OXFORD UNIVERSITY
OXFORD, ENGLAND
Spring semester, 1987
Later that night
"I'm nervous," she admitted, both of them
lying on the couch having been kissing and
talking for over an hour.

After they'd talked earlier, they had gone
back to the apartment to shower and change
and Mulder had taken her to a pub near campus
that was very 'British'.  They actually ate
fish and chips and drank beer out of pints
and had a chance to unwind and laugh.  Their
afternoon conversation had made him realize
that there were things between them that were
very serious, but they needed a balance.

"Scully, whatever we do is your call.  We
don't have to tonight or this week, for that
matter," he told her, his hand rubbing a slow
pattern on her back as she lay almost atop
him.  Scully's arms were wrapped around his
neck and she kissed him again, her tongue
slipping inside his mouth as she deepened the
kiss.

"I want to try..." her voice barely a
whisper.

"You want to move to the bed?  It might be
slightly more comfortable," he smiled.

"Yeah, I thought the couch in my apartment
was bad.  Where'd you get this monstrosity?"
she kidded as they got up off the sagging
cushions.

"It came with the place.  I took the first
'one bedroom, furnished' I found in the
paper," he smiled, reaching to turn out the
living room light.  Mulder took her hand and
headed toward the bedroom, but Scully stopped
in front of the bathroom door instead.

"I need a couple of minutes," she said shyly
to him.

"Take all the time you need, Scully.  And
remember... it's all at your pace," he said,
giving her a quick kiss before going into the
bedroom.  He undressed down to his boxers,
hoping that he wasn't assuming too much.  He
knew Scully was struggling and didn't want
her to feel she had to go through with
anything if it became too much for her.  He
couldn't almost believe what his mind was
telling him, but he knew there would never be
anyone he'd want to be with as much as he
wanted to be with her; he knew he loved her.

"Wow..." he said as she came out of the
bathroom dressed in only a man-tailored
pajama top and bikini panties, her legs
shapely and smooth.  She climbed into the bed
next to him and noticed he was only dressed
in his underwear.

She smiled, "You must have more confidence in
me than I have in myself."

"I can put my pajamas on, Scully, if that
would be better for you," he said sincerely.

"I've seen a guy in his undies before,
Mulder," she chuckled, giving him a kiss.
"But I appreciate your consideration."

"Come here. Let me just hold you," he told
her quietly, opening his arms to her.  She
snuggled in against him; the feel of his
hairy legs against hers gave her goose flesh.
And he felt her nipples harden against his
chest beneath the silk of her pajama top.

Scully slid one arm around his waist, the
other under his neck while he wrapped both of
his around her the same way.  "This is nice,"
he smiled to her.  "This okay with you?"

"I'd say... more than okay," she smiled,
feeling the heavy feeling of arousal in her
abdomen.  She kissed him first and after
they'd kissed for several minutes, he felt
her body finally relax against him.  After a
few more minutes, he was pleased to feel her
wrap her leg over his hip, snuggling into him
even more.  He knew she had to be able to
feel his erection in this position and hoped
it didn't distress her.  And when it didn't
seem to, Mulder moved just enough to lay
Scully onto her back, his bare leg resting
between hers.

"You okay?" he asked again, worried that he
was doing something she didn't want.  He knew
she needed to feel that he wouldn't go beyond
any limits she might set.

"Mulder, I'm fine.  You can quit asking me
that," she smiled to him.  "You just keep
going and if you do anything that makes me
uncomfortable, I'll tell you.  Okay?"

"If that's what you want," he told her,
moving his kisses down her neck.  "So if I
want to unbutton this button, I should just
go ahead and do it?" he smiled to her, taking
the top button of her pajama top between his
fingers and slipping it out of the hole.

"That's a good place to start," she smiled at
him slowly.  There wasn't a light on in the
bedroom, the only illumination coming from
the nightlight in the bathroom, shining
around the edge of the door.  He figured it
might be easier for her if there wasn't too
much light in the room.

Before long, her top was open and he was
smoothing his palm over her stomach.  "You
have better abs than I do," he kidded and she
laughed.  It helped her that he was keeping
things light and she knew that was part of
the reason he was doing it.  She also knew
that that was just Mulder.  He could always
make her laugh.  "I want to touch your
breast," he said to her, his voice becoming
breathy from arousal.

Scully took hold of his hand where it was
touching her abdomen and moved it slowly to
her left breast, squeezing his hand and her
breast to let him know that was what she
wanted.  "God, you're beautiful..." he told
her, moving her pajama top all the way open,
her breasts exposed to him.  Scully surprised
him by sitting up a bit to remove her top the
rest of the way, dropping it to the floor
beside the bed.

He reached to hold her again, the feel of her
breasts against his chest ratcheting his
arousal up another notch.  He had to pace
himself, not wanting to make her feel
pressured and not wanting to embarrass
himself.

The feel of his hand on her breast, his lips
on hers was almost overwhelming.  But what
she really noticed was how comfortable she
felt, not rushed and not feeling her breath
shorten from panic.  She trusted him.
"Mulder, I hope you know how much I care for
you," she told him, her voice soft and
emotional as she lay back down on her back.

"Jesus, Scully..." he said, wanting very much
for her to say that.  "I feel the same
way..."  He began to kiss down her neck
again, his hand again massaging her breast.
He kissed her several more times on her upper
chest, his way of letting her know where his
lips were headed.  And she didn't stop him.
He kissed her breast several times before
moving his lips to her nipple and sucking.

"Mmmmmm, God, Mulderrrr," she moaned, feeling
her sex flood between her legs.  His lips
felt hot against her chilled skin and she
thought there must be a nerve connecting her
breast directly to her vulva that she hadn't
learned about yet. She could feel his
hardness against her thigh and it felt huge.
But she wasn't going to let herself panic.
She wasn't...

Mulder was surprised to feel Scully's hand
move down his side, her fingers slipping
under the waistband of his boxers.  He felt
her fingernails against the skin of his cheek
and she snickered when he shivered from her
action.  "Your butt is fuzzy," she said
against his lips, her smile molding into a
kiss, a deep kiss.

"Scully..." Mulder said, his voice barely
much more than a breath.  "I need to, um,
take a break for a minute.  This is... it's
too much."  He was so turned on and so hard,
he knew he needed to regroup in order to keep
going at the slow speed he knew Scully
needed.

"That should be my line," she smiled to him.

"I am so turned on right now..." he sighed,
laying over on his back next to her.  She
snuggled into his side, her arm going over
his chest, her leg sliding over one of his.

"I'm sorry, Mulder... I'm sorry," she said
and he could hear the emotion in her tone.

He gathered his wits and moved to lay her
over on her back again, giving her a soft
kiss before speaking.  "Don't you dare say
that, Scully.  YOU have nothing to be sorry
about; you didn't do anything wrong."

"I just mean I'm sorry for making this so
difficult for you," she told him softly.

"I'm in bed half-naked with a half-naked Dana
Scully and you're apologizing?" he chuckled.
"That's one for the record."

Scully leaned up just enough to kiss him,
easing him back down on top of her.  "Let's
see what we can do about the 'half-naked'
part," she whispered to him, pulling on the
elastic of his boxers.

Mulder moved away from her just enough to
pull his underwear down and over his knees,
removing them the rest of the way with his
feet.  "I have protection, Scully," he told
her.

"I'm on the pill... I've, a, been wanting
this to happen for a long time," she smiled.

"Well, I'm clean.  Scotland yard tested
everything I had to test," he kidded, moving
back over to her, but was reticent to get
close enough for her to feel his hardness.
But he didn't have to; she reached for him
and he slowly lay in next to her again, his
penis and scrotum pushing against her thigh.
His hand began massaging her breast and he
could tell by the sounds she was making and
her shortness of breath that she was very
aroused, as was he.

They continued to kiss and touch each other
for several more minutes.  Mulder moved his
hand from her breast, down her ribs to her
stomach, his finger finding her navel and she
flinched.  "God, Scully, I'm sorry..." he
said, thinking he'd gone too far.

"Tickled," she chuckled, realizing he'd
gotten the wrong idea.

"Scully, I know you told me not to ask, but
are you doin' okay?" he asked, kissing her
cheek.

"I seem to be," she smiled.  "But I think
you'd better let me do this myself."  She
moved away from him just enough to remove her
panties, moving back in next to him.  During
her rape, her panties had been ripped from
her body and anytime she had gotten far
enough with anyone, touching her underwear
seemed to be a flash point.

Mulder smoothed his hand over her bare hip,
his fingers softly squeezing her cheek.
"Mmmmmmmm," she moaned, her bottom being very
erogenous.  "Touch me, Mulder," she whispered
to him, knowing he was hesitant about going
too far.

Mulder kissed her, their tongues caressing
each other, their breathing audible in the
quiet of the room.  He slowly slipped his
hand down to her soft curls and felt her body
tighten.  He didn't know if it was from
arousal or anxiety, so he took it slow, his
fingers weaving through her curls little by
little.  As they moved further into the vee
of her legs, she shifted her thigh, opening
herself to his advances.  When his hand
slipped further between her legs, he could
feel her moisture, proof that she wanted him
as much as he wanted her.

"God, Scully," he sighed, almost a groan from
being so turned on by how she was responding
to him.  He cupped his hand between her legs,
slowly moving it against her, trying to relax
her.  It was then that she reached for him,
the soft palm of her hand wrapping around his
penis.  She began to stroke him, her hand
closing over the head each time.

"I haven't done this in a long, long time,"
she managed to say.  "Tell me if I'm doing
something wrong."

Mulder stopped what he was doing, moving back
a bit to look at her, his hand resting
against her hip.  She could feel her wetness
on his hand and it made her shiver.  "You
could never do anything wrong, Scully.  You
are so... beautiful..." he sighed, his voice
faltering he was so touched by her trust in
him.

"I want you, Mulder... I, I just want to tell
you that... I love you," she admitted, her
voice cracking from the magnitude of her
confession.

"Oh, Scully.  I was afraid to say it, but I
love you, too...," he said, looking directly
into her eyes.  "So... much..." he finished,
burying his head next to hers on the pillow.
She thought he was going to cry.

"Love me, Mulder..." she sighed, shifting
under him to spread her legs around his hips.
Mulder shifted with her, balancing his weight
on his forearms on either side of her, her
arms stroking his sides, up his back.  They
kissed, Mulder beginning to move his hips,
his penis rubbing slowly against her pubic
hair.  She slid her hands down his body,
rubbing her hands over his bottom, her hips
beginning to match his rhythm against him.

"Mmmmmmmmm, Scully," he moaned, wanting to be
inside her so badly he thought he'd burst.

"It's okay, Mulder," she told him, knowing he
was hesitating.  "I'm ready... I want you."
He shifted a bit of his weight to his knee,
grasping himself and moving the glans up and
down against her vulva, her outer labia
parting as he did.  The feel of her hot,
slick tissue against his glans made his hips
shudder and he took a deep breath to steady
himself.

Finally, he positioned himself at her opening
and pushed the head in with his hand, wanting
to make sure it didn't go in too far.
"Okay?" he asked, despite himself.

"Yessss..." she sighed, her hands never
stopping their movement across his skin.  He
moved his weight back to his elbows and let
his hips slowly push his penis further inside
her, her hips moving up to meet his.

"God, Scully, you feel amazing..." Mulder
breathed, her body tight and hot around him.

"Oh, Mulder, God, so do you..." she whispered
to him, kissing the side of his neck, holding
him tighter.  She felt strange when he first
pushed in, like he would never fit inside
her.  But she consciously made herself relax
and his progress into her body began to feel
absolutely wonderful. He felt her thighs move
against his hips and knew she had opened
herself further to him, a sign to him it was
okay to move.

Mulder began to stir, his hips staying flush
to hers, his penis slowing moving within her.
Her hips moved with him and he was surprised
they were able to establish a rhythm so
seemingly easy.  "We're good together," he
said next to her ear.

"Mmmm, yes we are," she was able to mumble,
trying to relax into how he was making her
feel.  'This is what it is like to make
love,' she thought, not to have just sex or
to have it taken from her.  She moved more
firmly against him and he followed her lead,
pulling out from her more each time, pushing
further back in.  On some thrusts, his
penetration was almost too much, filling her
too full, but the slight discomfort actually
felt good.  She almost couldn't believe she
was able to be with him, that she was making
love... that she was making love with Mulder.

"Uh, Scully... I'm, uh, really close," he
told her as he began to intensify his
thrusts. She could feel him losing a bit of
his rhythm, trying to wait for her.  But she
knew before they started that it probably
wasn't going to happen for her this first
time, if she could even make it through.

"It's okay, Mulder.  Let go... I don't think
it'll happen for me this time," she told him
softly, their bodies still moving with each
other.  "It's okay..."

"But..."

"It's okay..."

As much as he wanted to wait for her, he knew
he couldn't.  It had been a long time for him
and he was so turned on by her that he was
amazed he had lasted as long as he had.  The
pace of his thrusts sped up, the wet sound of
their bodies together and the sounds of
pleasure they were both making echoed in the
room.

She felt him pump harder, his penis feeling
larger and harder with each push into her
until he finally let go.  "Uhhhhhhhhhhh,
Sculllllly..." he groaned deeply as he came
into her.

"Ohhhhhhh," she moaned, the feeling of his
warmth washing inside her spreading
sensations throughout her entire body.  He
emptied into her several more times, each
motion into her pushing their fluids out of
her, dripping down her perineum.  God, it
felt wonderful.  "Oh, Mulder..." she sighed
when he collapsed onto her, trying not to
crush her.  She was still moving beneath him,
her hips undulating in a soft, circling
motion that she probably didn't even realize
she was making.

When Mulder was able to catch his breath
enough to speak, he looked at her, pushing
her sweat moistened hair off her forehead.
"I won't leave you hanging, Scully... just
give me a minute," he promised her her.

"I'm okay... I'm fine," she assured him.  She
knew he wanted to make her climax as well,
but she was in such a good place from having
been able to make love with him that she
didn't need anymore.  She was satisfied
enough that she had been able to be with him;
to actually have intercourse.

Finally, he moved off of her to her side, his
spent penis leaving a wet trail across her
thigh.  She moved to hold him, both of them
still breathing hard, their bodies moist with
perspiration despite the cool room.
"Mulder... Mulder... Mulder," she whispered
as she held him, kissing him, flooded with
feelings of absolute love for him.

"What do you want, Scully?" he asked her
gently, his hand starting to slide down her
abdomen.

"Mulder, I've told you I'm fine and I am,"
she said, trying to make him understand.  She
was overwhelmed by everything as it was and
just needed him to hold her, to let her calm
enough to absorb everything about what had
just happened.

He stopped his hand and just let it rest on
her firm abdomen.  "Scully, can I ask you a
very personal question?" he said softly.

"I guess under the circumstances it would be
fine," she smiled to him.

"Have, a, have you ever had an orgasm?" he
asked gently.

Scully looked at him for a few moments taking
in his question.  "I'm not sure," she
answered honestly.

"Scully, if you aren't sure, then you
haven't," he smiled to her, but not making
her feel inadequate about it.  "I want to
help you experience that... I love you..."
Scully wrapped her arms around his neck,
holding him as tight as she could as she
began to cry; unable to hold in everything
she was feeling. "It's okay... it's okay..."
he comforted, realizing she was overwhelmed.

After she'd settled a bit, she wiped her eyes
with the edge of the sheet, feeling slightly
embarrassed by her display.  "I... I want to,
Mulder, but I can't right now... I can't,"
she told him, her voice low and slight.
"This has all been... so much... so
wonderful," she smiled.  "But, overwhelming,
you know?"

"I understand now... We'll save that for
another time."  Mulder kissed her, gathering
her close, now tired and ready for sleep.

After a few minutes, Scully moved back a bit
to look at him.  "Can I ask you a personal
question?" she said shyly.  He nodded,
wondering what was on her mind.  "Was... was
everything good for you, I mean, were you
satisfied?"

Mulder almost laughed in disbelief.  "Oh,
Scully... how could you ever think that you
were anything but amazing..." he told her,
brushing the backs his fingers against her
cheek.  "I have never felt anything like that
in my life, Scully.  Never... with anyone."

"Really?" she smiled softly.

"Really..."

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
End of Spring Semester, 1987
They had made love again, twice actually,
before she'd had to leave England, but she
was still unable to climax, something she
knew was her problem, not Mulder's technique.
She didn't really know what she needed to get
herself there, so she wasn't much help with
Mulder's attempts.  She hadn't been upset by
it their first time and not overly concerned
their second.  But when she was unable to let
go the morning she was scheduled to leave,
she was upset, both at her lack of response
and because she knew Mulder was blaming
himself.

Mulder had managed to get the last two days
she was there off from work and they had time
to see a lot of the sights.  They had gone
into London and had even taken a ferry across
the Strait of Dover into France for dinner
one evening.  She found herself wanting to
stay with him so badly, she had actually
given thought to giving up medical school for
the time being and moving in with him.  But
he assured her he would be home by the end of
summer semester and she knew he would try his
best.

After Scully left England, she had cried half
way across the Atlantic Ocean, she thought,
feeling as though she could never wait
another five months before she would be able
to see him again.  Being with him had been
glorious and not just because she was finally
able to be intimate with him.  She had no
idea she could become so happy and so content
just by being with another person.

But after she returned to Baltimore, she was
glad she was behind in her studies because
she needed to devote herself to that and
preparing for Step 1 of her Medical Licensing
Exam and it helped to keep her mind on
something besides Mulder.  She had started
doing some of her rotations this semester
because she was a semester ahead so she was
finishing her six week tour in Ob/Gyn.  She
had absorbed her text, trying to better
understand why she couldn't respond to Mulder
the way she wanted.  She knew it was directly
related to her rape; she also knew it was due
to her relative inexperience as well.  She
just wanted to do something about it.

They had continued their routine of writing
long letters and Mulder was still calling
weekly, sometimes more frequently.  She was
often gone, either at the hospital or at the
library, so they had set up times for him to
call when she knew she'd be home and that
would fit into the time difference.  She was
really spreading herself thin and had lost
weight, her hair getting long since she
hadn't taken time to get it cut. Mulder had
told her that he would probably have to
continue at Scotland Yard until late August,
so she would have time to get it cut before
he came home.

At the end of the Spring Semester, Scully had
been selected for Alpha Omega Alpha, the
medical honorary society, receiving admission
status as a junior, a prestigious honor.  Her
parents and her brother Charlie had attended
her pinning ceremony and they planned on
going out for a late dinner.  "I'm proud of
you, Starbuck," her father had told her,
beaming at his daughter.  "The first doctor
in the family."

Continued in Pt. 7

TITLE: A Meeting of Chances Pt. 7

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
End of Spring Semester, 1987
After they'd gotten to the back of the hall,
she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to
see who it was.  "Mulder!" she gasped, not
believing she was actually seeing him.  She
jumped into his arms, his arms grabbing her
up just as fast.  "God, what are you doing
here?" she asked when he's set her feet back
down on the carpet.

"You didn't think I'd miss this, did you?" he
smiled.

"Hello, Fox," her mother greeted with a
smile.  "Good to see you home."

"Thank you, Mrs. Scully," he said, returning
her smile.  He nodded, "Mr. Scully," as a
greeting, offering the hand that wasn't
holding Scully's to shake.

"Hello, young man," he greeted as friendly as
he was able.

"Would you care to join us for dinner, Fox?"
her mother asked as they walked toward the
lobby of the hall.  "We're taking Dana out to
celebrate."

"Um...," Mulder stuttered, looking at Scully,
then at her father.

"Mom, I think I'll pass on the dinner.  I'm
sure Mulder is jet-lagged..." she said, just
waiting for her father to object.  And he
didn't disappoint.

"Dana, we have reservations at Robinson's,"
he told her matter-of-factly.

"I know, Daddy, but I think I'll go with
Mulder to get him settled in," she told him
firmly.  And when he looked at her and
nodded, she had a feeling that he may have
finally realized that she wasn't just his
little girl anymore; that she was a grown
woman who had her own life separate from his
and she didn't need his permission to live
it.

As soon as Scully got in the rental with
Mulder, they kissed and kissed like they were
teenagers.  They couldn't seem to stop.
Finally, she pulled apart from him, covering
his cheeks with her palms.  "Look at you,"
she smiled like he was the greatest thing she
had ever seen.  "I can't believe you are
here.  I thought you weren't going to be home
until August."

"I wanted to be here tonight, so I just told
Scotland Yard I had to go back to the States
and it was none of their business why," he
told her, starting the car.

"Mulder... you don't want to hurt your record
there; you might need the reference," she
told him, fastening her seatbelt.

"Well, yeah I might... if I didn't already
have a job," he smiled as he headed the car
for her apartment.

"What?" she asked, her heart pounding,
fearing he'd gotten something in England.
"Where?"

"In Washington... with the FBI," he said, not
sure how she would react.

"Oh, Mulder... that's wonderful.  You're
going to be home?" she asked excitedly.

He laughed at her response, wondering if
she'd even heard the part about the FBI, only
hearing the part that he was home to stay.
"Actually, I'm really going to work for the
city of Baltimore in their Waste Management
department," he teased.

"Okay, okay.  I'm excited you're home... but
I do want to hear everything about your job,"
she smiled, reaching for his hand.

They had made it back to her apartment and
they pulled a couple of suitcases out of the
trunk of his rental.  "Where's the rest of
your stuff?" she asked as they went into her
building.

"I had it shipped to my mother's; what there
is of it.  I live a fairly sparse existence
in case you hadn't noticed," he teased.

They unpacked his things and he was a bit
surprised when she combined the stuff in a
couple of her dresser drawers and told him he
could have the empties.  He hung a few things
in her closet and took a shower while she
changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
Mulder had rustled up a phone book and called
in Italian from a place Scully had
recommended and she put together a salad.

"You've lost weight," he told her, taking a
bite of his garlic bread.

"I've been so busy, Mulder.  I've scheduled
my licensing exam for next week and with my
classes and rotation..." she muttered on.

"Well, I'm here to help you relax a little,"
he said, reaching across the table for her
hand.  She smiled, but he could tell there
was something on her mind.  "What is it,
Scully?" he asked.

"Um, where are you going to live, Mulder? Is
it required that you live in Washington?" she
asked slowly.

"Well, I don't start until July one.  But,
initially, I'll be living in Quantico, while
I'm in training," he explained.  "But after,
I thought I'd find a place somewhere around
Washington," he said, washing his pasta down
with a drink of his wine.

"Is Baltimore 'somewhere around Washington'?"
she asked tentatively.

Mulder stopped eating and looked at her to
see if what she'd just said meant what he
thought it did.  "Are you saying...?"

"Move in with me, Mulder," she said
sincerely, meeting his eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"Very."

"You're asking me to move in?" he laughed in
disbelief.

"How many ways do I have to ask you?" she
asked, setting her fork down on her plate.

"I, I don't know what to say," he said, still
not believing she'd asked him to live with
her.  Since she'd visited him in England, she
seemed so much more confident in herself,
more self-assured.

"Say 'yes'," she told him quickly.

"Yes," he replied just as quickly.

"Yes?"
"Yes," he smiled, leaning across the table to
kiss her to seal their deal.

They talked a bit about getting his stuff
from his mother's and how they were going to
break the news to her parents.  Mulder was
barely keeping his eyes open, having spent
most of the day on a plane, so they went to
bed shortly after they'd finished eating.
Both of them knew that wasn't the only reason
they went to bed quickly.
"You're all I've thought about all day," he
said, both of them snuggling together in the
middle of the bed.  "Your lips have been the
object of many a day dream in the last couple
of months," he said, kissing her firmly on
the mouth.
"Is that so?" she smiled, kissing him back.
"That isn't the only part of you that has
been the focus of my dreams lately," he
smiled, his lips nuzzling her neck.
She couldn't help but respond, but knew she
needed to stop him, at least for tonight.
"Mulder... Mulder, before you get too carried
away...," she started.
"What?" he asked, moving back a bit from her
to look at her.
"I, a, this isn't exactly a good time of the
month to be starting something... if you
understand what I'm saying?" she explained
shyly.
"Ahhhh, yeah... well, I'm really tired...,"
he smiled to her.
She moved into him further, kissing him-hard-
- her hand sliding down his abdomen into his
boxers.  "But that doesn't mean I can't help
you," she whispered to him, wanting very much
to pleasure him, something they hadn't yet
done for each other.
"Not without you," he answered quickly,
removing her hand, kissing her fingers.  "Not
without you..."
TWO DAYS LATER                           They
had had very little time for each other,
Mulder going down to Quantico for his
official physical exam, DNA blood tests and
fingerprinting.  He had kidded Scully that if
the FBI was still talking to him after his
psychological review, then he wasn't worried
about any of the other tests.  Scully had
spent much of her time with her study group,
still preparing for her licensing exam.  But
it was Saturday night and they'd made plans
to do something special.


"So, where are we going?  What's your big
surprise?" she asked, unable to contain her
smile as they cruised through the sparse
traffic.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now
would it?" he teased.

Scully smiled to herself this time, looking
out the window at the bright lights of
Baltimore and thinking she really didn't care
where he took her as long as it was him
taking her.  Mulder drove along the bay for
several miles before pulling into the garage
of the Westin Hotel.  "Mulder, this is only
for hotel patrons," she told him as he
grabbed the parking ticket that had popped
out of the machine.

"Yeah, I know," he said, almost ignoring her.

"They'll tow your car," she warned, wondering
why he thought he could just park where he
wanted.

"Not if I have a room here," he said, finally
giving her a smile.  He pulled into a space
close to the elevator and turned off the car,
popping the trunk open.

"What?" she asked, not yet understanding what
he had planned.

"I, um, have reservations for us... with a
bayside view," he told her, turning to face
her in the front seat of his car.  "I've, um,
also got tickets for Rick Astley; he's at the
Hippodrome.  I was told all the girls like
him," he looked to her, his expression
telling her he hoped she'd be pleased.

"I, uh, don't know what to say," Scully said,
thinking to herself that she didn't want to
hurt his feelings but she'd rather have her
teeth drilled than to go to a Rick Astley
concert.  She glanced over to him, hoping he
couldn't read anything in her expression.
But then, suddenly, she read something in
his.  "You rat," she grinned, smacking him
teasingly on the arm.

"Rick Astley?  Come on, Scully.  I think I
know you a little better than that," he
smiled, proud of himself for fooling her, if
only for a few moments.  "How do Crowded
House tickets sound?"

"Are you serious?" she asked excitedly,
hoping he wasn't teasing her this time.

Mulder reached into his back pocket, pulling
out his wallet, handing two tickets to her.
"Better?" he smiled.

"Much..." she answered, moving over to give
him a soft kiss.  "I love them."

"Yeah, I know," he smiled, pleased that he'd
made her happy.

"And you..." she told him, moving even closer
to kiss him again, this time much more
intensely.

They had checked into the hotel, Mulder
having packed them each a bag and sneaking
them into the trunk of his car.  He figured
he probably could have done it in front of
her since so much of her concentration had
been on her licensing exam that she probably
wouldn't have noticed anyway.  He knew she
needed a bit of down time, even if it was
just one night.

They changed clothes and walked around down
by the bay, picking a restaurant that looked
interesting, but would fit with their attire
of jeans.  The atmosphere was fun and the
food was decent and Mulder was glad Scully
had a couple of beers and was able to laugh
and joke.  They took a cab to the Hippodrome
and Scully knew Mulder had to have put up a
bit of money to get such good seats.

"Do you know somebody?" she teased in
reference to their third row location.

"Yeah---Ed Nelson," Mulder answered to
Scully's lack of recognition.  "...He's a
scalper, I know," he grinned.

"Wow, you associate with the best, Mulder,"
she kidded.

"Just you," he said, bending to give her a
soft kiss.

They both enjoyed the concert, but it was
fairly late by the time they made it back to
their hotel.  "Thank you," Scully told him
softly as they held each other in bed.  "I
didn't know you were such a romantic."

"You bring out the best in me," he smiled,
only half kidding.

Scully could tell Mulder was waiting for her
to make a move, unsure if she was still on
her cycle or was able to take things further.
So, she snuggled in closer to him, giving him
a kiss that also gave him an answer to his
silent question.  She slipped her hands under
his t-shirt, her hands stroking the firm
muscles of his abdomen as she kissed him.
She began to push his shirt up and he took
the hint, sitting up to remove it.

"Your turn," he said, reaching for her
nightgown, a short, sheer pale yellow silk
that he had found in her drawer and packed
for her.  "I volunteer to help..."

Between kisses and touches and the removal of
the rest of their pajamas, Mulder's mind
began to run and he began to worry that
Scully thought that the reason behind his
'romantic' evening was just to seduce her.
"I didn't do everything tonight just to get
to here, Scully," he told her, his hand
smoothing over her soft skin.

"I know that," she told him quickly, the
thought never entering her head.

"You've been studying so hard... you needed a
break."

"And a nice one this is," she smiled to him,
her eyelids getting heavy with arousal.  And
for the record, I want this as much as you.
After all, I flew all the way to England for
this."

"Really?  That's why you came?" he asked.

Scully couldn't help but chuckle at the
slight edge of little-boy disappointment in
his voice. "No...  I wanted to see you.  But
I also wanted to be with you, try to be with
you... like this..." she started.  "But I
really wasn't sure I could be.  And never in
my wildest dreams did I think I would be able
to the first time I tried."

"I know it was difficult..."

"That's just it.  It wasn't... not with you,"
she told him, giving him a soft kiss.

He smiled and kissed her back, "Thank you for
telling me that."  He snuggled closer to her,
both of them moving against each other,
kissing, loving the feeling of what they were
doing.  "What do you want, Scully?" he
whispered against her ear.

"Everything... you," she whispered back, her
lips against the stubble of his cheek.

"You've got me and I want to give you
everything else," he whispered, his voice
barely a breath.  He kissed her again, softly
at first, his hand loving her breast as his
kisses became firmer, harder.  He moved over
her, his leg slipping between hers, his
hardness pressing against her thigh.  "Let
me..."

Mulder continued to kiss her, slowly and
carefully making his way down her neck to a
breast, the moist trail from his lips cooling
against her skin.  She didn't say any words
to him, but her hands caressed him, her lips
kissing where she could, the sole of her foot
stroking his calf.  After taking his time on
both breasts, her nipples tightening into a
blissful hardness, his lips moved down her
stomach, his tongue finding her navel.  He
heard her take a deep breath and sigh and
hoped it was from arousal.  But after he
shifted a bit in the bed and moved fully
between her legs, he heard her again.

"Mulder..." she sighed and he was afraid she
sounded apprehensive instead of aroused.

He moved up quickly so that he could look at
her eye to eye.  "I'm sorry, Scully.  I'm
sorry..." he said, regretting that he had
gone too far.

"No, Mulder, no..." she said, taking his face
in her hands and kissing him.  "It's just..."
she tried to explain, Mulder noticing a small
smile on her face.

"Just what?" he asked, but already
suspicioning what she wanted to tell him.

"I didn't want you to stop, I just..." she
said, unable to tell him what she wanted to,
feeling suddenly shy.

"Scully... can I ask you another personal
question?" he asked but she didn't answer,
knowing he would ask anyway.  "Have, um, have
you ever had, uh... Has anyone ever, well,
gone... I mean, gone down on you, tasted
you?"

"I figure you've realized the answer to that
question or you wouldn't have asked it," she
answered shyly.

"Never?" he asked.

"No... never," she told him.  "Not until
you..."  Mulder smiled, knowing she had just
given him permission to continue.

"Just lay back and let me make you feel good,
Scully," he said against her ear, then
kissing down her neck, his tongue licking
along her collarbone.  She felt the timbre of
his voice vibrate against her skin,
gooseflesh spreading over her body within
seconds.  Scully took a deep breath and let
it out slowly as she lay back and relaxed
into what he was doing.

"God, Mulder..." she sighed.

"What?" he asked, his mouth having found the
underside of her breast, his hand working on
her other one.

"I wish I could express to you just how much
you turn me on," she whispered, not expecting
the reaction she got from him--- Mulder
laughed, moving up to look at her as if to
check to see if she was kidding.  "I also
wish that didn't come as such a surprise to
you."

"Well, it does.  I figure what you're feeling
has more to do with what I'm doing to you,"
he said, kissing her chin.

"Mulder, trust me when I tell you that I've
never felt anything like what I feel when
we're together... not even close," she told
him, kissing him softly between words. Mulder
looked at her for a few long seconds before
nodding, actually believing her.  He kissed
her again before moving his mouth back to her
breast, her nipple, his hips moving against
her thigh.  He began to kiss down her
stomach, moving to her abdomen, his hand
stroking her thigh.  She could feel his thumb
getting closer and closer to the juncture of
her hip, brushing against her pubic hair.  He
kissed her other thigh, then again just above
her auburn vee, touching her slowly and
softly, letting her get used to each of his
moves before he moved on to the next one,
knowing she was nervous.

He lifted her now-limp legs over his
shoulders before finally settling at her
center.  He heard a soft moan and he was
assured that she was very much enjoying what
he was doing.  He softly opened her labia
with his fingers, the womanly scent of her
arousal almost getting the best of him.  He
inserted a finger, then added a second, her
hips rising slightly in response to his
actions.    Suddenly he kissed her there;
kissed her as if he was kissing her on her
mouth.  Her hips bucked and she moaned a moan
that literally made him shudder, his train of
thought floating somewhere into his nether
region.

Finally, he touched his tongue to her labia
and licked, feeling his penis twitch when he
at last tasted her smoky flavor.  His other
hand opened her lips further to expose her
engorged clitoris.  He could feel her arousal
begin to tighten the muscles of her thighs
against his face.  He began moving his finger
to search for her g-spot as he finally took
her clitoris in his mouth to suck it, her
hips jerking off the bed in response.

"Oh, my God," he heard her mumble.  He wanted
to make her orgasm; help her to feel the
wonderful sensations a climax would bring.
He moved his fingers further inside her,
rubbing against the walls of her vagina and
gave her clitoris a slight nip with his teeth
at the same time.  And that did it; sending
her skyrocketing, her hips coming up off the
bed, her hands clenching the sheets.

"Mulder, God!" she shouted, the sensations he
had just caused so intense they felt almost
painful.  She felt her hips shuddering, her
internal muscles pulsing hard and quick.
"Please stop for a minute... I can't..."  She
couldn't finish, her body still shuddering,
her internal muscles throbbing against his
fingers.

Mulder let her come down for a few moments
and then licked her softly, removing his
fingers to massage her lightly, slowly,
helping her to try to settle. He moved up to
lay his head beside hers on the pillow, her
eyes still clamped shut, her breath still
coming in hard pants.  He placed his hand on
her heart, feeling it pumping, at least,
double its usual rate.

"You okay?" he said softly to her, his hand
smoothly running over her stomach, her
abdomen, taking her hand in his to kiss her
fingers.

Finally she opened her eyes taking a couple
of seconds to actually focus and look at him.
He thought if at that moment, he looked up
the word 'sated' in the dictionary, he would
find her picture there.  "Mulder..." she
sighed, her voice barely more than a breath.
"I have never felt anything like that in my
life... never... oh, god...," she said,
taking his hand in hers, clamping her eyes
closed again.

"Still need some help?" he asked her quietly,
rubbing his palm against her slowly, feeling
her labia still twitching.
He helped her to finally come down, Scully
moving to lie half over him, burying her face
against his shoulder, seemingly embarrassed
at her display. "You're so beautiful,
Scully," he told her, trying to alleviate
some of her shyness about it.

When she was able to focus a bit, she moved
up to kiss him, realizing the odd taste on
his lips was actually hers.  It was the most
intimate thing she had ever experienced in
her life.  They kissed only a short while
before Mulder moved her to her back, his hips
finding their place between hers.  She could
feel his hardness against her and remembered
that he still needed to finish.  She gathered
her senses and reached down to take hold of
him, moving him to her opening.

"Ready?" he asked, smiling at her.  She
nodded and he pushed into her, her eyes
closing in response to the wonderful feelings
of him loving her.  He pushed in as far as he
could go, easing back out slowly, almost
pulling all the way out before pushing in
slowly, deeply again before pumping several
times quickly.  He rotated his hips against
her, pushing against her pelvic bone, then
undulating in more quick thrusts.

"Mulder, I can't keep up," she tried to tell
him, unable to match his changes in speed and
position.

"It's okay, Scully," his voice deep and
breathy.  He put his right, then his left arm
under each of her knees, pushing them forward
until her thighs were almost parallel with
her body, then increasing the speed of his
thrusts, a move that sent her over the edge
again.

"Mulderrrrr! God..." she whimpered, unable to
believe what was happening.  "Oh, God..."
Her body spasmed, almost convulsed as she
climaxed, her inner muscles grabbing him hard
in quick squeezes, her whole vulva quivering,
much harder than the first time.  Mulder held
himself as still as he could until she could
focus again, letting her ride out her orgasm.
"My knees..." she said, her voice barely a
breath, barely able to breathe herself.  He
released his hold on her knees, her legs
falling limply to the bed before he began
moving in earnest again, feeling the muscles
of his abdomen tighten, his testicles
constricting so tight he thought they would
explode before he came.  He thrusted only a
couple of more times, his hips snapping
against her as he erupted, his deep groan
echoing in the silent room.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," he cried out, his
breathing almost as loud as his groan.  His
body was quivering against hers, Scully
holding him, smoothing her hands up and down
his back, one foot rubbing over the back of
his thigh, his calf.

"Um, Mulder, on your side, honey," she said
to him softly, his body weight becoming too
much directly on top of her.  He shifted,
carrying her with him, holding on to her
until he was flat on his back and she was
lying on top of him.  She laid her head
against his chest, her ear over his heart
listening to the pounding beat, knowing it as
a sign of how much he loved her.  Her leg was
between his, feeling their fluids on him
against her thigh, the feeling giving her
another shiver.  She smiled when he pulled
the sheet and spread over them, knowing he
was mistaken about the reason for her shiver.

"You okay?" he asked her softly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she responded,
kissing his chest.

"I, uh, that was a little different for us,"
he said, testing her response.

Scully moved, just enough to prop herself up
to look at him before kissing him softly.
"Yeah, it was.  But it doesn't have to be.  I
want what you want, Mulder," she said,
smiling at him, letting him know she liked
it.  "I'm okay, Mulder.  Being with you,
being able to be with you totally, makes me
feel like I've finally got back what he took
from me... I'm not a victim anymore; because
of you... us."

He gave her a loving smile, proud of what she
had done for herself.  "I love you, Dana
Scully."

"And I love you, Fox Mulder," she said,
sliding down to lay her head back on his
chest, smiling to herself.

Epilogue
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
Fall Semester, 1987
Scully had passed step one of her medical
licensing exam with a higher score than any
of her classmates and Mulder had graduated at
the top of his class at the academy at
Quantico as well.  They continued to live
together in her small apartment in Baltimore,
but had been looking for something just a bit
larger.  Scully had finally broken the news
to her parents that she and Mulder were
living together, something that didn't seem
to come as much of a surprise to them, to her
surprise.  Neither liked it much, but knew
there wasn't much they could do to change
things, so they had accepted the situation
fairly well.

"How was your day?" Mulder asked when he'd
come into their small kitchen after taking
his shower.  He'd had a tough day, working on
a case in his first assignment with the
Behavioral Sciences Unit.

"Really good," she smiled, turning from her
place at the counter to give him a quick
kiss.  "I started my new rotation today and I
almost can't believe how fascinating it is."

"Autopsies?  You actually like that?" he
asked, knowing she had elected to do a
forensics rotation.

Scully wiped salad remains from her hands
before sliding her arms around his neck,
giving him a long, slow kiss.  "You know,
Mulder...  I bet the FBI might just be in the
market for a forensic pathologist...."

THE END

Feedback welcomed and answered at
philer@onemain.com