From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 30 Oct 2003 02:50:04 -0000
Subject: You Have Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself (Part 1 of 3) by Katie Phillips
Source: direct

Reply To: xfstories@yahoo.com


You Have Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself
By:  Katie Phillips
Disclaimer:  Don't own them, just borrow them.
Rating:  R for violence and rape
Archive:  Anywhere is fine with me. Just let me know 
(xfstories@yahoo.com)
Summary:  After being apart for four years, Scully returns to DC 
to testify against the release of the man that almost murdered 
her.  Strange things begin to happen to her and her former 
partner comes to her aid in solving the case.

Friday afternoon.

Dana Scully looked at Mulder with total disbelief.  Surely he 
couldn't be taking Diana Fowley's word over hers.  They were 
partners.  More than regular partners and now he doubted her 
motives and her reasons.

Well, she had just about had enough of Fox Mulder.  Scully 
glared at him and stormed out the building, slamming the door 
behind her.

"Congratulations Agent Mulder" Scully muttered to herself as she 
stormed over to her car "You have finally produced the straw 
that broke this camel's back.  I'm done."

With that she drove off with her tires squealing.

Monday morning.

Mulder was used to Scully being mad at him.  It wasn't unusual 
for them to exchange heated words, dirty looks or to even storm 
out of the room on occasion. 

He wasn't too concerned.  Afterall, a couple of days had past 
since Scully had stormed out of the Lone Gunmen's office.  

They were concerned at the extent of her fury, but he wasn't.  
Scully had forgiven him before and would forgive him again.

He would explain everything to her. That although she had tried 
on several occasions to bed him, Diana Fowley had not succeeded. 

Mulder no longer thought of Diana in that way.

He smiled to himself as he walked into his office.  By lunch, 
things would be back to normal.

Mulder's smile quickly faded as he entered.  Immediately he knew 
something was different.

Looking around he noticed that a few things were missing.  
Scully's things.

Panic began to seep into him as he saw a message posted to his 
chair.

"Please come to my office immediately.  W. Skinner" it said.

Mulder grabbed the note off the chair and turned and headed 
upstairs.


Skinner's Office

"What do you mean, she's gone?" Mulder demanded for the third 
time.  "People just don't disappear."

"Well, she has."  Skinner said with considerable patience.  He 
was one of the only people who had a good sense of what Scully 
meant to Mulder and visa verse.

"Tell me exactly what she said" Mulder said throwing himself 
down in the chair in front of Skinner's desk.

Skinner sat down as well and told Mulder how Scully had appeared 
in his office during the latter part of Friday.  She appeared 
calm, but Skinner could tell that something was troubling her.

Without going into any detail, she requested a leave of absence 
starting immediately.  She needed to leave town as soon as 
possible for personal reasons and would appreciate his 
discretion.

Skinner had been puzzled at the request, but since Scully rarely 
asked for anything for herself he granted it.  They agreed that 
Scully's leave was open ended and unpaid and that Skinner would 
wait to hear from her.

"But why did she want to leave?"  Mulder asked his stomach 
beginning to tense when he realized he probably already knew the 
answer to his question.

"She didn't say and I didn't ask."  Skinner said looking Mulder 
directly in the eye.  "But if I were a betting man Agent Mulder, 
I would say that you had finally gone too far." 

"Too far?"  Mulder echoed back to him.

"Just how many times do you think she could take being dumped by 
you or ignored by you?  This past month even I have noticed how 
you have deferred to Fowley at the expense of your own partner."

Mulder opened his mouth to respond then shut it again.  There 
was really nothing he could say to that.

"Did she say where she was going?"  Mulder asked softly "Or 
when?"

"No" Skinner said feeling truly sorry for him.  It looked like 
Mulder's heart was breaking right in front of him.

Mulder nodded and rose slowly and left the room in silence his 
mind spinning.

After a moment he had a plan.  A feeble one, but a plan 
nonetheless.

He would head over to Scully's apartment and talk her out of 
leaving. And if she wasn't there, he would just let himself in 
and wait until she returned.

She may be mad at him.  Disgusted with him.  But even so, Mulder 
couldn't conceive of the fact that she would leave without 
saying goodbye to him.

Scully's apartment building.

Mulder took the stairs two at a time not wanting to waste a 
second.  He thought about stopping to pick up some flowers 
before he arrived but thought better of it.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Nothing.

He knocked louder.

Still nothing.

Mulder removed Scully's key from his pocket and unlocked the 
door.  He pushed it open his heart stopping when he looked 
inside.

The apartment was completely empty.  Not so much as piece of 
dust remained.

Mulder walked slowly around the apartment, his brain trying to 
make sense of what his eyes were telling him.

Scully was gone.

He walked into the kitchen hoping against all hope to find a 
note for him there.  There was none.

Four years later

Assistant Director Skinner stood outside of the Assistant DA's 
office looking at his watch and wondering where Agent Mulder 
was.

Finally he spotted Mulder walking down the hall and headed 
towards him.

"Good morning Agent Mulder.  Thank you for meeting me here."  
Skinner said.

"Good morning Sir.  Care to tell me what this is all about?"  
Mulder said smiling at his superior.  "Aren't we in the wrong 
building?"

Skinner smiled at his joke and started walking towards a large 
conference room.  "The DA called me this morning.  Do you 
remember a man named Robert Holton?"

"I don't think I could forget him if I tried" Mulder answered 
dryly.

Robert Holton was a man that Mulder and Scully had apprehended 
some six years ago.  It had been a very difficult case for both 
of them.

Holton was a serial killer who had a fancy for Women, especially 
petite ones.  He stalked them, kidnapped them, raped them and 
then systematically mutilated their bodies.

While working on the case, Holton had taken one look at Scully 
and had become obsessed with her.  He had followed her to her 
apartment and had waited for hours while she and Mulder had 
worked on the case.

Mere moments after Mulder had left, Holton had broken in and 
tied her up. He had begun is slow process of torture and rape 
giving her several severe blows to the body to silence her as 
she fought against him.

The only thing that had stopped him from completing his act of 
violence against her was the fact that Mulder had forgotten his 
case files and had returned to Scully's apartment to retrieve 
them.

Finding the door damaged, Mulder had drawn his weapon and 
searched her apartment.  He found them both in Scully's bedroom.

Still all these years later, Mulder could see clearly see Scully 
battered body lying on the floor with her hands tied above her 
head with Holton looming over her inches from penetrating her.

Mulder had acted on instinct and promptly shot Holton through 
the shoulder.

Scully injuries were more psychological then physical and she 
had returned to work within a week never mentioning the case 
again except for on the witness stand at Holton's trial.

Skinner broke into Mulder's train of thought.  "Well, you know 
how there is less money in the budget for prison housing?"  he 
started.  

Mulder nodded.  "Well, Holton has been selected to go in front 
of the parole panel tomorrow."

"You're kidding, aren't you?  Are they actually thinking of 
letting that monster out?"

"I wish I was kidding Agent Mulder.  Apparently he has been the 
model prisoner and appears to have reformed."

Mulder merely grunted at this.  "So I assume the DA would like 
me to testify against his release."

Skinner nodded and Mulder continued.  "I would be happy to."  He 
sighed.  "Too bad Scully isn't around anymore.  Her testimony 
would be sure to keep him in prison."

At the mention of Scully's name Skinner looked a bit 
uncomfortable.  "Agent Mulder" he began "When I spoke to the DA 
this morning he informed me that"

Skinner was interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down 
the hall.  Both he and Mulder turned and saw a man and a woman 
approaching.

The man was the District Attorney.  The woman Dana Scully.

Mulder blinked to make sure he wasn't seeing things.  He wasn't.

Dana Scully, whom he hadn't seen nor heard from in over four 
years, was walking down the hall towards him.

Mulder's first thought was that she had gotten even more 
beautiful.  Her hair was a bit longer and her suit a bit more 
laid back.

If she was surprised to see him standing there, she didn't show 
it.  Apparently Dana Scully was still a master at hiding her 
emotions.

She walked up to Skinner and Mulder but said nothing as District 
Attorney Blake spoke first.

"AD Skinner so nice to see you again." Blake said while pumping 
his hand in greeting.

Blake then turned to Mulder.  "And you must be Agent Mulder.  
Thank you so much for coming down here on such short notice."  
Blake shook his hand and then motioned towards Scully.

"Of course you both know Dr. Scully."  He said not noticing the 
tense way all three nodded their acknowledgements to each other.  
"She was kind enough to fly in this morning to help us out."

Blake then opened up the conference room door and motioned for 
them all to be seated at the large conference table.

Two people, the Assistant DA and Blake's secretary were already 
seated and Blake quickly introduced them.

Blake waited for his secretary to get ready and then started.  
"For the record, I would like to extend this office's thanks to 
Dr. Dana Scully for being here today."

He smiled at Scully and she smiled weakly back at him.  "Dr. 
Scully has come as a special favor to this office to be a 
witness against the release of Robert Holton."

Blake then continued.  "We would also like to thank Special 
Agent Fox Mulder for taking time out of his schedule to be here 
as well.  He too will be a witness against Mr. Holton."

Blake then gave them the basic rundown of the events for the 
following day.  The hearing was to begin at approximately 10am 
with both the prosecution and the defense calling witnesses.
After explaining the procedure to everyone, Blake then turned to 
Scully.

"Dr. Scully, I just thought I should warn you that Mr. Holton 
will be in attendance tomorrow."

Scully cut him off before he could say anything more.  "I will 
be fine Sir, don't worry."

Mulder couldn't help but smile to himself at her choice of 
words.  He hadn't heard her speak in four years and the first 
thing out of her mouth was that she is fine.

"Okay, that about wraps it up for you Agent Mulder and you Dr. 
Scully.  I have a few more things to go over with AD Skinner but 
you are both free to go.  I will see you at the courthouse at 
9:45"

Both Scully and Mulder rose and quietly left the room, neither 
noticing the subtle placement of Mulder's hand on her lower 
back.

They walked in silence to the elevator.  Mulder pushed the down 
button and then looked at her.

"You didn't even say goodbye."

Scully turned and saw the deep pain in his hazel eyes.  She 
closed her eyes, took a deep breath and sighed.  

She opened her mouth to answer when she heard someone calling 
her name.

"Dr. Scully!"  It was Blake's secretary.  "The District Attorney 
would like to speak to you."

Scully looked at her and then back at Mulder.  She smiled weakly 
at him her eyes showing some of the same pain as his.

She nodded at him briefly and left to join Blake and Skinner.

A cemetery in Georgetown

Scully approached the grave carrying a small bouquet of flowers.  
It had been a long time since she had visited her sister's 
grave.  She hoped it hadn't become too overgrown.

Scully mouth fell open in amazement as she looked down at the 
small plot.  She could not believe her eyes and double checked 
the name on the tombstone just to be sure.

It was Melissa's grave but instead of being overgrown as she had 
feared, it was covered with beautiful flowers in a wide array of 
purples,Melissa's favorite color.

Scully kneeled down in front of the grave and gently placed her 
flowers next to the ones growing with such abandon.  She stroked 
the delicate petals wondering who had planted them.

Surely it could not have been her mother.  Maggie Scully had 
left the East Coast shortly after Scully had, opting to live in 
the San Diego area with Scully's brothers.

That left only one person.  Mulder.

It was only upon this realization that Scully let the tears she 
had been holding back fall.

She cried for Melissa, her father and finally for what should 
have been with Mulder.

A half an hour later she rose feeling better knowing that it may 
be a very long time until she visited Melissa again.  "At least 
I know you will be well taken care of" she said touching the 
stone lightly.  "Goodbye Missy. I love you."

Mulder's Office

Mulder sat at his desk looking at his computer screen without 
even seeing the words on the screen.  Seeing Scully that morning 
had been quite a shock.  Realizing that he would actually have 
to face her and whatever his feelings for her may still be, 
scared him to death.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't hear the 
sound of footsteps approaching his office.  Mulder practically 
jumped out of his seat at the sound of the knock on his door.

"Sorry" Scully said smiling at him.  "I didn't mean to scare 
you"

Mulder looked at her a bit embarrassed and muttered something 
about concentrating on his work.

Scully raised an eyebrow at him and walked into the office.  "I 
don't mean to take you from your work" she said "I just wanted 
to thank you."

"Thank me for what?"  Mulder said not taking his eyes off of 
her.  Now that he could get a better look at her he saw that his 
earlier observations were pretty much right on the money.

There were maybe a few small lines around her eyes and she had 
lost a few pounds but Dana Scully was definitely a woman now.  
And a beautiful one at that.

Mulder noticed something else as Scully made her way around the 
room looking to see what had changed at what had stayed the 
same.  Her left hand was completely devoid of rings.  Scully was 
still single and Mulder was surprised how happy that simple 
thought made him.

Scully stopped and picked up a small picture sitting on the 
corner of Mulder's desk before answering.  It was a shot taken 
of the two of them at some work related outing and they were 
both laughing at something.

She shut her eyes briefly, swallowed hard and put the picture 
down forcing herself to regain her composure before turning back 
towards him.

"For Melissa" she said.  "I am right that you are the one who 
planted all the beautiful flowers, aren't I?"

Mulder blushed a bit and nodded.  "Since none of her family is 
here any more, I thought it was the least I could do."

Scully walked around until she stood directly in front of him.  
"I appreciate it Mulder more than you know. Especially"  She let 
her voice trail off not wanting to get into a heavy conversation 
at the moment.

Mulder saw her discomfort and decided to change the subject.  
"How long are you here for Scully?"

Scully paused as if to think before answering.  "I am not sure.  
It has been quite a while since I have been here and I was 
hoping to tie up a bunch of loose ends before heading home."

Mulder nodded wondering if he was one of the loose ends.  

"I was out in California visiting Bill when I got word of the 
hearing" Scully said "I took the redeye here last night so I am 
pretty beat.  I am looking forward to a nice long bath and a 
good night's sleep."

Mulder got the definite feeling that Scully was subtly telling 
him that she had no time for him and tried not to let his 
disappointment show.

As if she could read his mind, Scully smiled indulgently at him.  
"I thought that maybe tomorrow after the hearing you and I could 
go someplace, have a little wine and catch up.  I would love to 
hear all about the X-files, the Gunmen and everything else."

She saw Mulder frown a bit at the suggestion and quickly added.  
"If that's okay.  I don't want to interfere with your plans or 
cause you any problems."

Mulder smiled at her.  "It will be no problem at all.  I was 
supposed to go to a seminar on crop circles tomorrow evening, 
but I think they can manage without me."

"Crop circles?  Surely you have found other things to occupy 
your time Agent Mulder?"  Scully teased him.

Mulder shrugged and gestured to everything around him.  "Scully, 
this is pretty much my whole life these days."

They chatted for a few more minutes until Scully let out an 
enormous yawn.  She made her excuses and left for her hotel.

Mulder stared at the door after she left for a long, long time 
wondering how he would survive if he lost her a second time.

Scully's hotel room

Scully lay back in the tub enjoying the light scent of the 
bubbles that surrounded her.  She had been incredibly 
apprehensive about making the trip back to DC.

She wasn't sure who she dreaded seeing more.  Robert Holton or 
Fox Mulder.

She had survived her encounter with Mulder which gave her 
strength to believe she could survive seeing the other as well.

Scully's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the 
telephone.  She answered it while still lounging in the tub.

She had thought briefly that it would be Mulder before 
remembering that she had yet to tell him where she was staying.  
It was her mother seeing how her trip went.

After the preliminaries were taken care of and Scully had 
convinced her mother that she had indeed arrived safe and sound 
in DC, Maggie Scully had begun her interrogation of her daughter 
in earnest.

"Have you seen him yet Dana?"  Maggie said.

"Who Holton?"  Scully said back dryly.

"You know perfectly well, who I am talking about."  Maggie said 
"Fox.  Have you seen him?  Is he well?"

"Yes Mom, I saw him today.  He looked fine to me."

"Is he still good looking Dana?"

Scully smiled at the question knowing that it has always been 
Maggie's dream to see the two of them together.  "You know Mom, 
I think he is even better looking than before."

"No kidding" Maggie replied.  "Perhaps I need to make a visit to 
DC myself."

"Don't you dare Mother" Scully retorted.  "I have enough to 
worry about here without you playing matchmaker."

Scully then told her mother about Melissa's grave and smiled at 
the sound of Maggie's tears.  

"I will have to drop him a line Dana" Maggie said sniffing 
slightly "to thank him myself."

She blew her nose and then continued.  "But seriously Dana, what 
are you going to do about Fox?"

"As I have told you before Mom, I never had any sort of claim on 
him then and most certainly don't have one on him now."

"That may be dear, but I bet you dimes to dollars you two still 
have very strong feelings for each other.  And even if you 
don't" she continued before Scully could interrupt her "you do 
owe him an explanation."

Scully sighed but let her mother finish.  "I guess I will never 
really know what happened between you two that drove you away so 
quickly.  But I do know how broken hearted he was when you 
left."

"I know Mom."  Scully said quietly.  "I will do my best to 
explain myself, but that doesn't mean that we are going to end 
up riding off into the sunset together."

Maggie sighed over the phone desperately wishing that she could 
give her daughter a hug.  "You'll tell me what happens?"

"Do I have a choice?"  Scully joked.  

Still laughing, she hung up the phone.  She settled back down 
into the tub and wondered for the thousandth time that day, 
exactly what she wanted from Fox Mulder.
 
Mulder and Skinner were the first to arrive at the Courthouse 
and they were promptly greeted by an Assistant DA.

They were led into a small conference room, given coffee and 
told that they would be summoned as soon as the hearing began.

A few minutes later, Scully arrived looking a bit pale and 
strained.  She greeted both men and accepted the coffee offered 
to her.

Skinner frowned when he looked at her.  "Dana" he said quietly 
"You don't have to do this in person, you know.  We can ask the 
judge to let your statement be read into the record."

Scully smiled weakly at him.  "You are wrong, Sir.  I do have to 
do this.  Not only for myself but for every one of those women 
he destroyed."

Skinner was about to protest but she cut him off.  "It is very 
simple Sir.  If I don't appear today, in person, he wins.  I 
can't let him beat me."

Skinner nodded and said nothing more.  Scully sat down next to 
Mulder who tried to smile his encouragement to her.

Skinner looked at both of them hating the fact that they both 
had to relive, again, such a terrible experience.

Thankfully for them, the hearing began on time.  Skinner sat in 
the back of the room while Mulder and Scully sat directly behind 
the District Attorney.  

There were a handful of other people in the room, but Scully 
blocked them all out.

The room fell into silence as Robert Holton was led into the 
room.  He spotted her immediately and hissed "Couldn't keep 
away, could you Agent Scully?" at her before being led to his 
chair.

Scully closed her eyes briefly but other than that refused to 
acknowledge his comment.  Next to her, Mulder seethed in anger 
but managed to also keep himself in check absently rubbing her 
back in an attempt to comfort her.

Witnesses were called and Mulder quickly described his opinion 
of Holton as both a profiler and the man who had finally 
arrested him.  In his opinion, Holton was incapable of being a 
productive member of society.

The last witness called by the DA was Scully.  She quietly rose 
and went to the witness chair and in a quiet voice swore to tell 
the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Dr. Scully" Blake began "You were not only a member of the task 
force formed by the FBI to locate Mr. Holton but also his last 
victim."

"That is correct."

"Dr. Scully, could you please tell the panel exactly what Mr. 
Holton did to you that day?"

Mulder gulped wishing to spare Scully from the pain she was 
about to experience.

"Mr. Holton followed me back to my apartment and as soon as he 
knew I was alone broke in.  He attacked me from behind and 
rendered me momentarily unconscious."  She paused to take a sip 
of water.

"When I came to a few minutes later, he had tied my hands 
together above my head and had secured me to one of the legs of 
my bed. He then proceeded to beat me, verbally and sexually 
assault me." 
 
The DA interrupted at this point, addressing the panel.  "I see 
no reason for Dr. Scully to have to go into the specifics of his 
attack upon her. It is all on the record from the trial."

The panel members nodded and he turned to Scully.  "Dr. Scully, 
what, if any, have been the long lasting effects of this 
experience on you?"

Scully then told the panel about her years of therapy, 
reoccurring nightmares as well and the stigma put on her for 
being a victim of such an attack.

The lawyers for Holton knew better than to cross examine a 
witness who was not only a medical doctor but also a former FBI 
agent.  Scully sat down in extreme relief when they chose not to 
question her.

 A few people spoke on behalf of Holton but Scully paid little 
attention to them.  She was too busy trying to calm her rattled 
nerves.

The entire proceeding took less than two hours and everyone was 
sent out to get a cup of coffee while the panel made its 
decision.

The DA came over to Mulder and Scully beaming.  "I have been 
doing this a very long time and unless I am mistaken, and I am 
hardly ever mistaken, Holton is going to remain locked up for a 
very, very long time."

Scully smiled weakly at him praying that he was correct.

He was.  It took the panel less than a half an hour to make 
their decision.  Robert Holton was to remain in prison without 
the chance of parole for at least another twenty years.

Scully closed her eyes and whispered a prayer of thanks after 
the decision was read.  

He looked at her then sitting there so prim and proper with her 
long red hair hiding her face.  It was her fault, all her fault 
and he would make her pay.  Dearly.

Scully waited until the prisoner was removed from the room 
before rising from her seat and joining Mulder, Skinner and 
Blake out in the lobby.  Blake was grinning from ear to ear and 
quickly walked over to Scully to dump his praise upon her.

"Dr. Scully, we couldn't have done this without you.  Thanks to 
you, Holton will remain behind bars for probably the rest of his 
life."

Blake pumped her hand while she smiled weakly at him.  He then 
turned to Skinner and the two departed to finalize their reports 
in Blake's office.

Mulder looked at Scully.  She was still quite pale and obviously 
still upset.

He walked over to her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder.  
"You never told me about the nightmares"  he said quietly.

She turned and looked at him barely smiling.  "I never told 
anyone.  Perhaps if I had they would not have stayed with me so 
long."

"That was a brave thing you did in there Scully."

Scully just shrugged.  She closed her eyes, took a deep breath 
and looked directly at Mulder obviously try to shake off her 
upset state of mind.

"Well Agent Mulder, are you going to tell me how brave I am all 
afternoon or can we go out to lunch.  I am starving and am 
looking forward to a huge lunch and an even larger glass of 
wine."

Mulder smiled at this and motioned towards the elevator.

An Italian Restaurant,Georgetown

Scully was thrilled when Mulder pulled up in front of her 
favorite Italian restaurant.  She broke out in a huge smile 
which Mulder quickly echoed.

"You said you were hungry"  Mulder said as he opened up the car 
door for her "I think this place serves enough food to fill even 
you up"

Scully smiled at him again and they walked into the restaurant.  
The hostess recognized Mulder immediately and showed them to a 
quiet table near the back of the restaurant.

"Come here often Mulder?"  Scully said as she took her seat.  "I 
thought Indian was your favorite."

Mulder just smiled and shrugged not wanting to admit that he had 
only started coming here regularly after her departure because 
the place reminded him of her.

"Good food, good wine. Who could ask for more?"  he said as he 
opened up the menu.

Mulder was right.  Both the food and the wine were wonderful.  

They both ate and until they thought they would burst and then 
sat back to sip their wine and talk.

Mulder began by telling Scully about how his time at the Bureau 
was now split between the Violent Crimes Unit and the X-files 
due to the fact that he hadn't agreed to take on a new partner.

"They will only allow me to investigate X-files cases now that 
they 'think' I can handle alone."  He said sipping on his red 
wine.

Scully was wondering to herself why Agent Fowley hadn't become 
his partner, but kept her inquiries to herself.  She wasn't 
ready to take on that particular subject just yet.

"Of course"  Mulder continued "that hasn't stopped me for 
working on my own investigations with the Lone Gunmen."

"How are they?"  Scully said smiling at the thought of the three 
men "I hate to admit it, but I do miss them."

"Even Frohike?"  Mulder said

"Even Frohike. But don't tell him I said that"  Scully joked.

It was then Scully's turn to fill Mulder in on what she had been 
doing over the past four years.  Mulder noticed that she spoke 
in general terms and not once mentioned where she was currently 
living or exactly what she was doing.

"After I left here"  she began deciding to skip any explanation 
of her departure "I knew I needed to do something totally 
different.  So I joined up with a charity group and went over to 
Africa."
 
Mulder almost choked on his wine.  "You did what?"

"I said, Agent Mulder" Scully repeated speaking to him like he 
was a child who was not listening well. "that I hooked up with a 
non profit and headed over to Africa to work in an orphanage for 
a while."

"No kidding"  Mulder said sitting back and trying hard to 
picture Scully living in a tent.  "Did you enjoy it."

"Loved it actually.  It was just I needed at the time.  When I 
first got there, the facility was practically in ruins, but with 
a little work Tom and I had the place fixed up and running like 
a well oiled machine."

"Tom?  And who is he?"  Mulder said teasingly not sure he really 
wanted to know the answer.

Scully took another sip of wine before answering.  "Tom was the 
volunteer who originally took over the running of the orphanage 
from the local authorities.  He arrived there about two months 
before I did."

Mulder noticed that she looked a bit uncomfortable and decided 
to press her.  "And were you and this Tom fellow an item?"

Scully smiled at his quaint terminology.  "An item?  Well, I 
guess you could say we were.  We were the only two Americans to 
be found within 200 miles so I guess it was only natural that we 
became close."

"May I ask how close you became?"  Mulder said quietly wondering 
if the reason Scully hadn't talked about her home was because 
Tom was back there waiting for her.

"Close enough"  Scully said rather shortly.  Then she forced 
herself to relax and continued.  "We were a couple for about a 
year or so I guess. He knew I couldn't have children but thought 
we should still get married.  He said we could adopt one of the 
babies in the orphanage and bring it back with us."

"He sounds like a great guy." Mulder said softly.  "What 
happened?"

"Tom is a great guy.  So full of life and enthusiasm.  He was 
everything a girl could ask for but he just wasn't"  Scully 
voice trailed off and she grew silent.

Mulder just looked at her as she gazed off into space for a 
moment.  He decided it was time to lighten the mood a little 
bit.

Mulder then proceeded to fill her in on all the office gossip.  
He had her laughing so hard at his stories of the new agent who 
had a huge crush on AD Skinner and followed him around like a 
puppy dog that tears were pouring down her face.

Scully dabbed her eyes with a tissue and glanced casually at her 
watch and was shocked at how late it was.

"Mulder" she said putting her tissue away "I think it is time we 
gave up this table to someone else."

Seeing the look of disappointment on his face she continued "But 
if my memory is correct, there is a great ice cream place just 
around the corner."

The thought of not only prolonging his visit with Scully but  
having a double-dip cone cheered Mulder up immediately.  They 
promptly paid the check and then slowly headed to the ice cream 
stand.

The ice cream was better than Scully had remembered.  She 
delicately licked at her cone while Mulder ate his in huge bites 
and then hungrily eyed hers when his was done.

"Oh no you don't"  she said when she saw him looking at her 
cone.  "It isn't my fault you ate yours like a pig."

"Come on Scully"  Mulder said faking a pout "You know you really 
don't like ice cream.  You are more of a frozen tofu girl."

Scully laughed at this and held out the cone for him to sample.  
Instead of taking the cone, he held her hand in place with his 
as he took a long lick.

He felt small shivers run through him and he wondered if they 
were caused by Scully or her cone.  Apparently the sensation was 
not experienced just by him for Scully looked a bit puzzled for 
a moment and they both collapsed into awkward silence.

The silence turned into a comfortable one as they slow meandered 
around the small park that housed the ice cream shop.  It was a 
warm afternoon and the park was full of couples holding hands 
and children running with their parents.

Mulder looked down at Scully and smiled at her and she smiled 
back.  They both appreciated this moment of pure peace between 
them.  

It wouldn't last long for although they enjoyed pleasant 
conversation all throughout the day there were two unanswered 
questions hanging between them.

Why did you leave me?

Why didn't you follow?

As they slowly made their way back to Mulder's car, Scully 
realized that as painful as it may be, they had to talk about 
that afternoon so long ago.

As she slid onto her seat, she buckled her seatbelt and turned 
to Mulder.  "Hey, would you like to come up for some coffee?"

Mulder gave her his best leer which made her smile.

"Nice try Mulder.  But what I really had in mind was to give you 
a chance to ask me what you have been dying to all day."

"Am I that obvious?"  he said quietly as he started up the car.

"You are to me."

They drove back to Scully's hotel in silence both dreading the 
conversation they knew they had to have.  Both knowing it would 
make or break them.

They made small talk about Scully's accommodations as they 
walked down the hall towards her room.  Scully was describing 
the fabulous breakfast they had provided her with in great 
detail when suddenly she stopped talking looking very puzzled.

"What is it Scully?"  Mulder said coming up behind her.

"My door"  she said pointing the door that lay slightly open "I 
know I locked it before I left."

Mulder looked at her and immediately maneuvered her behind him, 
taking out his service weapon.  He was about to burst into the 
room when she tapped him slightly on the shoulder.

He turned and saw that she had drawn her own weapon.

His eyebrows rose in question and her answering look told him 
that she would fill him in later.  He then motioned to the door 
and held up three fingers.  

She nodded and watched as he silently counted down to zero.  
Mulder kicked the door open and she ran into the room.

Scully stopped dead in her tracks and stayed motionless as 
Mulder quickly checked the room to make sure it was empty.

Only then did he return to her side just as she began to slowly 
survey her room.  It had been literally turned upside down but 
that wasn't what had stopped her in her tracks.

It had been the words written in red above her bed.

"It is all your fault.  You will pay."

Scully looked at the writing on the wall for a long, long time.  
Mulder spotted the writing and looked at her and was shocked to 
see her growing paler by the minute.

"What is it Scully?"  he said rushing to her side "Does that 
mean something to you?"

Scully's nod was barely noticeable.  "Yeah.  It does."  She 
turned and looked at Mulder, her eyes huge.  "It was what Robert 
Holton said to me during his sentencing hearing, right before 
they led him away."

"Holton?"  Mulder said amazed.  "But he is"

"Exactly" Scully said cutting him off and walking over to the 
telephone.  She lifted it up and dispassionately called the 
front desk to inform them what had happened.

To Mulder she seemed like a ghost as she hung up the phone and 
walked over to the easy chair, which sat undisturbed in the 
corner, and sat.  "They are calling the police.  I suspect they 
will be here shortly and will want to talk to me."

Mulder opened his mouth to say something and then shut it for he 
had absolutely no idea what to say.  Seeing that Scully wasn't 
going anywhere, he discreetly went out into the hallway and call 
Skinner.

He filled Skinner in on the situation and asked him to verify 
the whereabouts of Robert Holton.  He hung up after agreeing to 
meet with Skinner the following morning to discuss how to 
proceed on this case.

When he reentered the room Scully was still seated, but had 
regained most of her color and he could tell by her facial 
expression that she was feeling more like herself.

"Mulder" she started wearily but was cut off by the arrival of 
not only hotel security but the local police and a few FBI 
agents.  

She looked at the crowd of law enforcement agents and raised an 
eyebrow at Mulder as if to ask him why there were so many people 
there.

"Professional courtesy. You know once an agent, always an agent" 
he said trying to force a smile.  "Speaking of which, would you 
like to explain to me why you are still packing a weapon? I 
thought you were retired?"

Scully smiled up at her former partner "Just because I am no 
longer on the X-files doesn't mean I am no longer associated 
with the Bureau."  

She saw his puzzled expression and continued.  "I am a 
consultant these days Mulder, brought in to handle certain types 
of cases."

"So you mean to tell me that all this time you were in the FBI 
database and I didn't even know it?"

"Yup, sometimes one needs to look at the most obvious places for 
clues Agent Mulder."

Mulder was about to ask her more about her consulting when they 
were interrupted by the lead police officer on the case.  Mulder 
answered the questions first and when it was Scully's turn 
quickly disappeared into the bathroom.

When everyone was done with Scully she rose and muttered 
something about heading down to the front desk to get a new 
room.  As soon as she was out in the hall, Mulder stopped her.

"Scully, there is no way you are staying in this hotel tonight."  
He said firmly.

She looked at him strangely for a moment then nodded.  "Maybe 
you are right, I can check into the one down the street."

"You will do no such thing."  Mulder said sounding a bit 
annoyed.  

"Then where exactly do you expect me to stay Mulder?" she 
answered back sounding just as annoyed as he.

"With me."

"You?"  Scully said sounding quite amazed.  "That is very kind 
of you Mulder but I can't impose on you like that."

Mulder gave her a look the way a parent would look at a child 
when they were denying knowledge about something nasty they had 
just done.  "Scully, since when is staying with a friend, a 
friend who is your former partner, an imposition?"

Scully sighed and looked like she was going to try to come up 
with another excuse but Mulder cut her off.  "Scully, I know you 
are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself but if you 
think for one second I am going to leave you alone tonight after 
seeing your reaction to that" he motioned to her hotel room down 
the hall "you are crazy.  You are staying with me and that's 
that."

Scully just stood and looked at him realizing at that moment 
just how much she had missed Mulder over the past four years.  
Although she would never admit it to him, she missed having 
someone look out for her.

"Okay Mulder, if you are sure."

"I am positive.  So positive in fact that I gathered together 
everything you need while you were talking to the Detective."

"Did you now?"  Scully said not knowing if she was happy at his 
assertiveness or annoyed by it.  She smiled then "I hope you 
didn't take any crucial piece of evidence."

"Not unless whoever was in your room likes to play with your 
toothpaste" Mulder joked as he headed towards the elevator.

The drive to Mulder's apartment was a relatively quiet one with 
Scully trying to remember the last time she had been there and 
wondering exactly where she would be sleeping.

As if he read her mind, Mulder said "You can have the bed 
Scully, I still spend must of my time on the couch."

Scully smiled as she shook her head.  Somethings really didn't 
change.

Mulder's apartment

Mulder opened his apartment door hoping that he hadn't left the 
place too messy.  After all, he hadn't been expecting company 
that night.

Scully stepped in behind him and immediately was flooded with 
memories of all the times they had shared there.  There had been 
a time that this very apartment had practically been her second 
home.

It had changed very little she noticed as she walked around the 
room while Mulder put the kettle on.

"Would you like some tea?" he called from the kitchen as she 
hovered over his desk noticing the two pictures sitting on it.  
One of Samantha and one of her.

"Sure, that would be great. Thanks" she replied sitting on the 
couch.  Scully had to admit to herself at feeling quite relieved 
that there were no traces of feminine influences to be seen.  

If Mulder had a girlfriend, she obviously didn't spend much time 
there.  

Mulder walked into the room holding her cup of tea in one hand 
and a bottle of water in the other.

"Thanks" she said taking the tea and sipping it carefully.  
"Chamomile" she said breathing the soothing fragrance.  "this 
should help me sleep."

They sat there side by side barely touching on the Mulder's 
couch.  Scully sipping her tea and Mulder his water.

They both knew that they had much to talk about but neither of 
them seemed to want to break the peaceful moment.

Finally Scully stood up and after taking her cup back into the 
kitchen announced to Mulder that she was going to bed.  "Can I 
borrow a shirt to sleep in Mulder?"  she said sheepishly as she 
went to enter her room.

Mulder smiled at her.  "Of course. You know where they are."

Mulder heard her moving around his room and tried to push the 
image of Scully slipping into one of his t-shirts from his mind.  
He had almost succeeded when Scully opened the bedroom door and 
leaned against the doorframe.

She just looked at him for a second as if to gather her thoughts 
and Mulder wondered if she had any idea how sexy she looked 
standing there in one of his Yankee t-shirts covering her all 
the way to her knees.

"Mulder" she said finally "To answer your question, I left 
because of your relationship with Diana"

Not waiting for an answer, she turned and went back into the 
bedroom leaving Mulder alone with his thoughts.

"Diana?" he thought to himself. "She left because of Diana?  
What exactly did she think was going on?"

Mulder sat back on the couch, closed his eyes and tried to think 
back to the afternoon when he had last been Scully's partner.  
Even with his photographic memory, it took him a minute or two 
to get the images in place.

Scully, Diana and he had been working on a case together and 
Scully and Diana did not see eye to eye on anything.  Scully was 
busy working on the case but Diana seemed more interested in 
swaying Mulder's affections in her direction.

Mulder had not been swayed and assumed that Scully had realized 
this. But perhaps she didn't.  Scully had brought up several 
valid points questioning Diana's intentions and Mulder had 
systematically shot them all down.
This alone would have been enough to totally piss off Scully but 
combine that with the fact that she believed that Diana and he 
were sleeping together and Mulder could see why Scully had been 
so upset.

Mulder thought he partially understood Scully's reaction to the 
situation but he had trouble understanding his.

Why hadn't he gone after her that afternoon when he had known 
she was upset?  And then again, why hadn't he tracked her down 
after she had left town.

It wasn't like he didn't have the resources to do so right at 
his fingertips.  Christ, she had been working at the FBI for 
half the time and he hadn't even known it.

So why hadn't he looked?  The answer was so obvious.Now.  

Diana Fowley.

When Diana had heard of Scully's sudden disappearance she had 
gone out of her way to not only comfort Mulder on his loss but 
to talk him out of any desire to follow her.

She had convinced him that if he let her go she would be happier 
away from the X-files.  Scully would get her life back again.

It was only after Diana, herself, disappeared amongst 
allegations of her allegiance with the Cigarette Smoking Man, 
that Mulder had realized that Scully was right to doubt Diana.

So why hadn't he gone after Scully then?  Mulder hated to admit 
it, but he was too embarrassed and too proud.  He had always 
assumed that Scully would come back.

To him and to the X-files.

It wasn't until he discovered that Maggie Scully had also left 
town that he came to the realization that Scully was gone.  For 
good.

Mulder shook his head again at his own foolishness even as he 
was thanking whatever god might be listening for the chance to 
make things right with Scully.

The last thing he thought before he drifted off to sleep was 
"Tomorrow Scully.  We can start again then."

Mulder awoke to the sounds of movement in his apartment.  It 
took him a moment or two to remember why he was sleeping on the 
couch and who else was in the apartment with him.

The noise he heard was the sound of Scully slowly pacing around 
his bedroom.

He got up ignoring the fact that he was clad in only his boxers 
and slowly walked into his room.  He was right. It was Scully 
who was making the noise.  Although at present she was standing 
looking out of his window.

She had her arms wrapped around herself and she was shivering 
slightly as she stared sightlessly out.

Mulder grabbed the afghan off the end of the bed and came up 
behind her covering her with it.  She must have known he was in 
the room because she did not start at his touch nor pull away 
from him when he left his hands upon her shoulders.

"The nightmares came back?"  he said quietly looking at her 
reflection in the window.  

Scully nodded.  "I didn't mean to wake you"  she said to his 
reflection.

"You didn't wake me"  he said "You know I can never sleep."

"You are a horrible liar Mulder"  she said smiling at bit.  "But 
I must admit that I am happy you're up."

"You're freezing"  Mulder said when he noticed she was still 
shivering.  He rubbed her upper arms in an attempt to warm her.  
"Come on into the living room and curl up on the couch until you 
are ready to go back to sleep."

Scully thought about it for a second and then turned towards 
him. She placed her hand on his cheek and looked at him for a 
long time.  "Thanks Mulder"  

Mulder looked down at Scully and saw her looking at him as if 
she was trying to figure something out.  She removed her hand 
from his face and the moment passed.

Scully turned and walked out to the couch and proceeded to curl 
herself up into a little ball.  Mulder took the afghan and went 
to get lengths tucking it in all around her.

Scully smiled at his efforts and patted the couch next to her.  
"Aren't you cold?"  she said noticing for the first time that 
Mulder was dressed in only his boxers.

"Not particularly"  he said getting a bit shy about his 
appearance "but I suppose for decency sake I should go throw on 
a pair of shorts."

Mulder went back into his bedroom leaving Scully muttering to 
herself that she was perfectly happy to see him so indecently 
dressed.  He returned a minute later wearing an old t-shirt and 
a pair of running shorts.

"Sorry about the shirt"  he said "but someone seems to have 
borrowed my favorite one."

"Would you like me to take it off?"  Scully said teasingly.

"Scully, you should know better than to tempt me like that"  
Mulder said laughing.  "Besides it looks much better on you than 
it does on me."

He sat down next to Scully so their bodies touched and leaned 
his head back against the couch.

"Want to talk about it?"  he said turning his head to look at 
Scully who had positioned herself similarly.

"The dream?"  she said looking at him and giving him a wry 
smile.  "It is the same one I always have.  Holton has me tied 
up and helpless.  I scream and scream but no one hears.  He 
assaults me, beats me and then disfigures me.  You aren't there 
to save me."

Mulder put his arm around her and drew her close.   "Don't worry 
Scully. I know you think he was in your hotel room tonight and 
that you are in danger again.  But I will promise you this"  he 
put his finger under her chin and made her look him right in the 
eye.  "I won't let him hurt you."

Scully saw the deep lines of concern etched on his face and 
smiled up at him.  "I don't suppose now is the right time to 
tell you about how I am perfectly capable of taking care of 
myself."

Mulder laughed.  "Only if you want to injure my fragile male 
ego."

Scully chuckled at this and leaned her head back against the 
couch closing her eyes.  "Tell me another story about you and 
the Lone Gunmen venturing off alone to save all humanity."  She 
said sleepily.

Mulder smiled and began yet another tale of how he and the Lone 
Gunmen had traveled all over Utah in search of a downed UFO.  
The trip, as usual, had ended up being a wild goose chase with 
the only real highlight of the trip being when Frohike took 
their rental car out on the Salt Flats and tortured it.

Mulder was so wrapped up in the telling of the story that he 
hadn't noticed that Scully had been lured to sleep by the sound 
of his voice.  "Aren't I the great storyteller?"  he said to 
himself as he eased her down on the couch.  "One story from me 
and they are out like a light."

He looked down at Scully's sleeping form and thought to himself 
for probably the hundredth time that night how beautiful she 
was.  Especially now when her face was totally at peace.

He bent over and kissed her on the cheek.  His efforts rewarded 
by the hint of a smile overtaking her lips.

"Good night Scully"

The Following Morning, Mulder's Office

Mulder arrived at his office after dropping Scully off at her 
hotel to pick up the rest of her belongings before their meeting 
with Skinner later that morning.

He sat at his terminal and, after taking a quick peek behind him 
to make sure Scully hadn't mysteriously appeared, opened up the 
FBI personnel database.

He typed in "Dana Scully" and within seconds saw her face upon 
his screen.

Reading it he discovered that Scully was a special consultant to 
the Bureau who now rated a higher security level than himself. 
He laughed at this not at all surprised.

 He browsed the cases associated with her over the past two 
years and found them to be practically all closed with a 
majority of them resulting in prosecutions.

"Very impressive" he said to himself as he clicked on the button 
labeled "personal information"

Scully's personal information screen held very little 
information other than her physical description, the date and 
place of her birth and that she was a part time forensic 
professor.

Despite numerous searches, Mulder was unable to locate where she 
lived or where she worked.  He couldn't even tell in what state 
she lived.

"Damn"  he said to himself turning off his machine "I guess I 
will have to put the Gunmen on the case"  Guilt hit him at once 
and he shook his head.

If Scully was trying that hard to protect her privacy, he would 
respect it.

At least for now.

He walked up to Skinner's office a few minutes early hoping to 
be able to get a word in private with him.

Outside of Scully's Hotel

He watched her from across the street as she got out of her taxi 
and walked into the hotel.  He had known that she would come 
back for her things, he was just surprised that she had come 
alone.

Obviously he hadn't done a good enough job of scaring her the 
night before.  "I will have to work on that" he said to himself 
as he made himself comfortable and waited for her to reappear.  

He wanted her to be more than scared - to be terrified.  That 
fear would give him energy and help him get stronger.

Skinner's Office


Mulder found Skinner alone in his office and asked him if he 
could have a word with him before Scully arrived.

"Certainly Agent Mulder"  Skinner said walking over to the door 
and closing it.  He knew that at some point Mulder would 
confront him about his knowledge of Scully's whereabouts for the 
past few years.  Frankly, he was surprised it took him this 
long.

"Well Sir, it's about Scully"  Mulder said pacing a bit while 
Skinner took his seat behind his desk.
 
"What about her?"  Skinner said admitting to himself that he was 
rather enjoying watching Mulder squirm a bit.

"I don't know how to put this tactfully so I guess I will come 
right out and ask."  Mulder said stopping directly in front of 
Skinner and turning to face him.  "How long have you known 
Scully was back with the Bureau?"

Skinner looked him straight in the eye and answered him.  "Dr. 
Scully contacted me shortly after her return to the United 
States and asked my help in acquiring her a different position."

"You have known about her for two years!"  Mulder said is voice 
beginning to rise in anger.  "And you didn't tell me?"

"You never asked"  Skinner said shortly.

Mulder just glared at him and he continued.  "Agent Mulder, when 
Dr. Scully returned she made a particular request concerning you 
and information about her whereabouts."

"May I ask you what those were?"  Mulder said with mocking 
politeness.

"To sum it up Agent"  Skinner said trying to keep his composure 
"she asked me to keep the information confidential to everyone 
in the DC Bureau with one exception.  If you specifically asked 
me for information about where to contact her, I was to provide 
it."

"Don't ask, don't tell"  Mulder said sarcastically.

"I believe Agent Mulder, that Scully  assumed if you really 
cared about her or wondered what had happened to her that you 
would have looked for her or at least made inquiries."

Mulder felt a bit chastised as Skinner continued.  "Afterall, 
Agent you have traveled cross country and back several times on 
just the mere chance of getting the smallest tidbit of 
information on your sister.  I think it was a safe assumption on 
her part that if she meant anything to you that you would have 
put in a similar effort to find her."

Mulder looked down at his shoes feeling guiltier by the minute.  
Skinner was right.  Mulder's own guilt about Scully and their 
relationship and his own embarrassment about how he had handled 
things had kept him from looking for her.

He never assumed in a million years that she would actually want 
to be found.

Skinner looked at Mulder and shook his head wondering how a man 
so incredibly intelligent could be so foolish when it came to 
his former-partner.  He wasn't much of a romantic, but even he 
could feel the underlying energy flowing between the two of them 
even after four years of separation.

"Agent Mulder"  Skinner said quietly glancing at his watch.  
"The rest of our team will be here shortly but before I let them 
in can I give you a piece of advice.  As a friend?"

Mulder dragged his gaze away from the floor and nodded.  "Have 
you come right out and asked her all these things you want to 
know."  

Mulder looked down again answering his question.  "Well, when 
this case is done take her out to a nice dinner and ask her and 
then tell her."

"Tell her what?"  Mulder asked looking puzzled.

Skinner rolled his eyes and got up to open the door.  "That you 
missed her."

As Scully entered the room she instantly noticed Mulder's sour 
face and bad mood.  Assuming he had gotten himself chewed out 
again by Skinner she thought little of it as she piled her 
suitcases in a corner of the room.

"All moved out Dr Scully?"  Skinner asked looking at the bags.

"Yes Sir"  she started when she was interrupted by the rest of 
the case team who wear entering the room.

Skinner introduced everyone and quickly gave a brief description 
of the case before handing out assignments.

"Dr. Scully"  he began "how many people knew you were coming to 
DC?"

"Before I arrived?  Just you and the DA."

Skinner nodded slowly and put the two junior agents who he had 
assigned to the case on finding out exactly who was in the 
courtroom during the hearing and who in the DA's office would 
have been aware of Scully's presence.

"You"  he said to Agent Mulder "are going to the Fed prison to 
talk to Robert Holton.  Their records show that he was placed 
back in his cell directly after the hearing yesterday but I want 
you get a 'read' on him when it comes to Scully."

Mulder nodded his approval of this idea.  Despite the fact that 
Holton was 'safely' behind bars, Mulder was convinced that he 
was somehow involved with the break in the night before.

"And Dr. Scully"  Skinner said turning the Scully "we have 
gathered a good amount of forensic evidence from your room.  I 
would appreciate it if you could supervise its processing by the 
labs."

Scully gave him a look which said that she knew perfectly well 
that he was trying to keep her within the safe confines of the 
FBI Building.  "Yes Sir"  she said flatly.

"Oh, and Dr. Scully"  Skinner said as he stood up indicating the 
meeting was over "I am assigning Agent Mulder the task of 
protecting you until this case is closed."

Scully's eyes grew huge at this and before she could disagree 
Skinner cut her off.  "It's not a request."

She glared at him and stormed out of the office heading down to 
the labs on the lower floor.

Mulder laughed. "I am glad you said it instead of me."

Scully spent the entire day looking over the shoulders of the 
agents running tests and otherwise analyzing the evidence they 
had collected from her hotel room.  She was a very good forensic 
scientist, but she knew that the people in the room with her 
didn't need her skills.

She was just in the way.

So instead of hovering about, she walked into an empty office 
and turned on the computer.  Within minutes she was looking at 
the case file of Robert Holton.

She paused, took a deep breath and began to read.

Because of her personal involvement and subsequent injuries due 
to the case, Mulder had written up the case file.  Mulder had a 
tendency to rush through case reports for those cases he found 
boring.  

He must have found this case very interesting for the file was 
very detailed and outlined every aspect of their case, Holton's 
attack and the resulting trial and conviction.  Scully read the 
entire case file, twice, before turning off the computer and 
heading back down to Mulder's office.

There was something about this case that struck Mulder as odd 
all those years ago.  At the time she thought nothing of it, 
Mulder managed to find oddities in the most mundane of cases, 
but now she realized that Mulder's little oddity might be the 
key.

Federal Prison

It took a bit of persuasion, but Mulder managed to convince the 
prison officials to give him ten minutes alone with Robert 
Holton.  Or at least relatively alone, two guards would be 
posted right outside of the room weapons drawn in case of 
trouble.

He paced around the dull gray room waiting for Holton to arrive.  
Wondering exactly what kind of information Holton would give 
him. 

For despite the fact that Holton had been 'safely' locked up 
when Scully's room was broken into, Mulder was positive that he 
had something to do with it.

Holton appeared in the doorway shackled around his ankles and 
wrists.  He gave a small nod of acknowledgement to Mulder before 
sitting down.

Mulder sat across from him and just stared at him for a moment 
waiting to see if he would speak first.

He did.  "How's that pretty little partner of yours these days 
Agent Mulder?"  he said leering at Mulder.  "Not a day goes by 
when I don't think of her and how she felt lying underneath me.  
Have you gotten to experience that for yourself yet?"

Mulder pushed that thought of punching Holton out of his mind.  
"Funny you should mention her Holton, she is the reason I'm 
here."

Holton seemed to brighten at this.  "Yeah, why?"

"Her hotel was broken into last night and someone left her a 
message.  Whoever did it was pretty sloppy about it and I figure 
left plenty of fingerprints behind."

"So, what does that have to do with me?"  Holton tried to look 
bored at the entire conversation although Mulder could pick up 
on the undercurrent of energy that pulsed from him every time 
Mulder mentioned Scully.

"If I were a betting man Holton, I would say that those 
fingerprints belong to you."

This comment got Holton's attention.  "And how are you going to 
explain that?" he asked "since I was here last night?"

"I was hoping you could explain it to me and save us all a bit 
of time and energy"  Mulder said this last word with just a bit 
more emphasize.

"Sorry Agent Mulder, but I can't help you."

Mulder ignored this comment and went on.  "I imagine it wouldn't 
be all that hard for you to get in contact with someone on the 
outside and have them pull this little prank." 

 Holton just shrugged so Mulder continued "and when I find out 
who it is, not only will I make sure that person goes to prison 
but I will make sure to pull the plug on your little obsession 
with Agent Scully."

With that Mulder walked over to the door and banged on it twice 
indicating his desire to leave.  "When you are ready to tell me 
what's going on call me."

And with that he left convinced that Robert Holton was indeed 
involved.

Mulder's Office

It took awhile, mainly due to Mulder's bizarre way of filing 
things, but Scully was able to find Mulder's case notes on the 
original Robert Holton case.

She took the folder and without thinking walked over to her 
former desk and plopped herself down already immersed in her 
reading.  Here instead of the structure of a formal report, 
Mulder had just scribbled down his thoughts as he had profiled 
Holton and put together the pieces of the case in a way only he 
could do.

Scully was fascinated by all the seemingly random words Mulder 
had jotted around the edge of the page.  "Power"  "Energy"  
"Force" were just some of them. 

He had been on the verge of putting together his own theory of 
what made Holton tick when Holton had attacked Scully.  The 
final version was not down in the folder, but Scully knew that 
it would still be locked up somewhere inside Mulder's perfect 
memory.

Scully was so involved with her reading that she didn't even 
notice the sound of approaching footsteps.  Mulder stopped in 
the doorway overtaken by an incredible sense of deja-vous as he 
saw Scully sitting where she had sat a thousand times before.

"Fascinating reading?"  Mulder asked walking into the room and 
making Scully jump.

"Goodness Mulder" she said after she caught her breath "don't 
sneak up on me like that."

"What have you got there?"  Mulder said walking over to where 
she was sitting and perching himself on the corner of the desk.

"Your notes on Holton."  She said without emotion.  "I thought 
it couldn't hurt to look over them again to see if anything pops 
out at me."

Mulder frowned at the thought of Scully revisiting something 
that was so painful for her but shrugged it off noticing she was 
deep into her professional mode now.

"So does anything pop out at you?"

"Not really but then again that was always your specialty not 
mine.  I was curious, though, about why you wrote all these 
words."

Mulder looked at his scribbles and smiled at her.  "Just some 
random thoughts I had about him, that's all.  You know me always 
trying to make every case into an X-file."

Scully smiled at this and gestured to the file folder.  "Was 
this an X-file Mulder?"

"I don't know if it was then but I think that it may be now."  
Mulder said the smile fading from his face.

"How so?"  Scully said not knowing if she really wanted to know 
the answer.

"I am not quite ready to say yet Scully" he said then seeing her 
look of disappointment "but when I am, you will definitely be 
given the first chance at shooting holes in my theory."

Scully laughed at this.  "Barkley and Jones have finalized the 
lists of people in the courthouse yesterday and at the DA's 
office.  They are running background checks on them and will be 
emailing you the results."

"Excellent."  Mulder said.  He was about to continue when there 
was a discreet knock on the door.  Mulder and Scully looked up 
to see a messenger standing in the doorway holding two 
envelopes.

Mulder stood up and got them thanking the messenger and waiting 
till he had left to speak to Scully.

"They are both addressed to you."  He said handing over the 
envelopes.

"Must be the test results" Scully said opening the larger 
envelope first "although I can't see why they wouldn't put them 
both in together."

She split open the envelope and took out several sheets of 
paper.  They were, as she expected test results the most 
interesting of which were the fingerprints.

"This can't be right" Scully said looking at the results with a 
rather large frown on her face.  "It says that the prints belong 
to Robert Holton"

You Have Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself Part Two
By Katie Phillips
See Part One for disclaimer information.
Warning:  There are some graphic references to rape mentioned in 
this part of the story
XXX

"Knew it" Mulder said under his breath.

"How could you possibly known that Mulder for it is impossible 
that they are his " Scully spoke to him impatiently as she 
opened up the smaller envelope.   "How could he have possibly?"

Scully stopped speaking abruptly and Mulder looked up from the 
fingerprint report to see why.  Scully just stared at a small 
photograph she was holding in her hand.

She looked at Mulder with huge eyes trying desperately to hold 
back tears.  She handed him the snapshot.  

It was a picture of a small Victorian house complete with picket 
fence and roses. On the front was written "I know where you 
live"

Mulder looked at her questioningly.  Scully closed her eyes 
briefly determined to get her emotions under check. "It's a 
picture of my house."

Mulder's Apartment Building

As soon as he understood the implications of the picture he was 
holding in his hands, he knew it was time to get Scully out of 
the FBI and somewhere safe.

"Let's go" he said grabbing the file folders, test results and 
picture.   "We can finish this discussion elsewhere."

Scully looked quite puzzled with this announcement but allowed 
herself to be taken by the arm and led out of the building and 
to his car.  She got in never noticing the dark figure lurking 
in the corner of the parking garage.

He noticed her though and smiled to himself. "Having fun yet 
Agent Scully?" he said as he slowly walked over and got into his 
own car.

Mulder said very little as he drove to his apartment thankful 
that he had thought to drop off Scully's belongings earlier that 
day.  The last thing she would need right now was to worry about 
such things.

His mind was racing now.  He was beginning to formulate an idea.  
An idea which even when Scully was hip-deep in the X-files she 
would have trouble believing.  

Even though she was personally involved in this case, Mulder 
knew he would have to tell her what he thought, just in case he 
was right.

Their silence continued as they entered the building and rode 
the elevator to Mulder's floor.  As they were walking down the 
hall, they both noticed a large white envelope lying against his 
door.

Mulder picked it up.  The envelope was blank except for two 
words "Agent Scully."

Scully took the envelope and went to open it but was stopped 
when Mulder put his hand on hers. "Let's get inside first" he 
said opening the door. "Would you like me to open it?"

She glared at him in annoyance "Don't be ridiculous" she said 
ripping the envelope open.

Mulder watched as the color slowly drained from her face as she 
scanned the pages.  She began to sway and Mulder barely reached 
her before she collapsed into his arms dropping the papers all 
over the floor.

He carried her to the couch and seeing that she was already 
coming around, went to the kitchen for a cool cloth and a drink 
of water.

Mulder pulled a chair over to the couch and softly placed the 
cloth on her forehead and stroked her hair.

"Hey" he said when he saw her focus on him.

"Hey yourself " she answered back automatically. "Did I actually 
faint?"

"Yeah you did.  How are you feeling now? "he said anxiously 
searching her face.

"I'm fine Mulder" she saw him frown at this response and took 
his hand in hers "Really. I haven't eaten since breakfast and 
the shock of the pictures was just a bit too much for me. "

"The pictures?"  Mulder said suddenly remembering the envelope 
and its contents.

He picked up the pieces of paper and quickly saw why Scully had 
fainted.  On the first sheet of paper was a simple message "You 
Can Run But You Can't Hide". On the second and third pages were 
about a dozen pictures of Scully taken since her arrival in DC.

Some were taken in public places, like the airport and the 
Italian restaurant where she had dined the Mulder and others 
were taken during some of her most private times.  

One showed her taking a bubble bath in her hotel room, another 
showed her fast asleep and yet another showed her reading 
Holton's file down in Mulder's office.

Outside of Mulder's apartment a man sat silently in his parked 
car picturing her reaction in his mind and savoring every last 
minute of it.

xxx

Mulder put down the phone and turned to Scully who had regained 
her normal color and was looking at the pictures with the 
dispassionate eyes of a professional.

"The Gunmen will be over here shortly" he said walking over to 
the couch and taking the pictures from her. "Are you sure you 
are up to this?"  he asked waving the pictures at her.

"I 'm fine Mulder." Scully said seeing him frowning at her.   
"Really. Seeing these pictures just makes me more determined to 
figure out who is sending them." 

Mulder didn't look very convinced but knew that she would not be 
deterred. "These pictures prove that we are dealing with someone 
with great technical know-how. That should make narrowing down 
the suspects a bit easier. "

Scully took the pictures from Mulder and placed them gently on 
the coffee table. She rubbed her eyes for a moment before 
turning to him.

"Did you get the list from Smith yet?"

"No, not yet but I assume the list is there.  I just haven't had 
a chance to logon and get it yet"

He was interrupted by the sound of discreet knocking on the 
door.  Mulder opened the door to find the Lone Gunmen standing 
there looking even more paranoid than normal.

They were armed to the hilt will all sorts of technical gear and 
after hugging Scully in greeting, went about sweeping Mulder's 
apartment for bugs.

A half an hour later they were finished finding absolutely 
nothing. "Looks like your friend hasn't had time to set up shop 
here yet." Langley said putting away his equipment.

"Thank goodness" Scully said not realizing until that moment 
that she had been even more tense than normal.  

Frohike looked over at Scully and smiled at her. "As delightful 
as it would be to spend the rest of the evening with you Dr. 
Scully, I am afraid my partners and I must break into your 
former hotel room and office and take a look around."

Scully laughed at him and promised him that they would all go 
out for drinks after the case was solved.

"You promise you won't leave town without saying goodbye" 
Frohike said bending over her hand to kiss it.

Scully held back her laugh this time and promised him.  The Lone 
Gunmen left constantly looking over their shoulders as they 
walked down the hall.

Mulder closed the door behind them and looked intently at 
Scully. "Are you going to make me that promise too Scully?"

"What promise is that?"
 
"Not to leave without saying goodbye."  Mulder said barely above 
a whisper.

Scully walked over to where he stood back against the door.  She 
stood right in front of him looking up at him with her blue eyes 
asking questions he was not ready to answer.

She smiled a little smile and caressed his cheek.   "Yes Mulder, 
I promise"

Xxx

Outside of Mulder's apartment the man in the dark car watched 
the Lone Gunmen leave the building and get into their van.  He 
smiled as he watched them leaving knowing that they had missed 
the small camera he had hidden in Mulder's blinds that very 
afternoon.

He gazed back at the screen in front of him watching the 
touching interchange between Scully and Mulder.

"I must remember to thank you Agent Mulder for raising such high 
emotions in her.  Every heart retching moment with you just 
makes us stronger.

XXX

Feeling relieved Mulder ordered in some Indian food and sat down 
on his computer to look for his reports while Scully jotted down 
some notes on the pictures.

"Mulder" she said looking up from her work. "You said you had 
some sort of theory about all of this."

"Uh-huh" Mulder mumbled as he kept scanning his screen.

"Well, aren't you going to share it with me?"

"In a second Scully. I just want to check out one thing first."

Scully sat back and rolled her eyes. The second turned into more 
like an hour with Mulder only pulling his eyes away from the 
computer long enough to grab a plate full of Indian food and sit 
back down again.

Scully had finished off her dinner and was considering turning 
on the television when Mulder finally said "Got it!"

"Got what?" she said getting up and walking over to stand behind 
him at his desk.

"What I hope is the missing link."  Mulder said pointing to a 
picture of a man on the screen.

"That's Robert Holton" Scully said not understanding at all what 
the big fuss was about. "We already know that he has something 
to do with this."

"Oh but you're wrong Scully" Mulder said looking up at her and 
beaming like a child who just brought a straight "A" report card 
home. "It's his twin Ryan."

"His twin?" Scully said bending over Mulder to take a closer 
look at him. Mulder felt the brushing of her against him and 
tried not to get distracted.  

"Identical" Mulder said.  He sighed then before spinning his 
chair around and facing her. "Except for his fingerprints."

He stopped then and looked up at her wanting desperately to wrap 
his arms around her and nuzzle her stomach. She must have seen 
something in his eyes for she looked a bit startled and stepped 
back allowing him room to get up.

Mulder did so and began pacing the room. "I do have a theory 
Scully."  he began. "I remember during the original Holton case 
being surprised at how strong he appeared to be compared to his 
size and build."

Scully nodded remembering that he had mentioned that to her 
before. "Holton seemed to grow stronger with every act of 
violence and murder he committed.  The more horrible the torture 
of the victim, the more strength he seemed to have to use on the 
next."

"Are you trying to say that Holton got his strength from his 
victims?" Scully asked sitting down on the couch and looking 
totally confused.

"When a person is truly scared their bodies expend a great 
amount of energy trying to escape the danger real or not.  I 
think that Holton, somehow, figured out how to harness that 
energy for his own use."

Scully rolled her eyes at him but said nothing. "You said 
yourself that you were surprised how easily he was able to 
overcome you. I saw for myself when I broke into his apartment 
and found you two. He was handling you like you were made of 
air. "

Scully paled a bit at the memory "Yes, I did.  But even if 
Holton was able to harness this sort of energy how come he 
hasn't used this talent to escape the prison?"

"I think he needs to connect in some way with his victims 
something that is pretty hard to do when you spend 99 percent of 
your time in isolation. I think, though, that he still feels a 
very strong connection to you and may be trying to use that to 
give him back his strength."

"Okay Mulder, I am not saying that I buy any of this, but even 
if it were the case the man is in prison. His only exposure to 
me was the hearing. And besides that, how could he possibly be 
taking these?" Scully waved the pictures at him.

"Well" Mulder said pausing long enough to grab two beers from 
the fridge. "That's where Ryan comes in."

He handed Scully a beer, thought about sitting down next to her 
but then decided he would rather keep pacing. "You know how 
twins seem to have some sort of psychic bound between them?"

Scully nodded while sipping her beer. "I think that in this case 
the bond goes beyond the norm. I think that Ryan is the one 
harassing you and try to terrorize you but Robert is the one 
benefiting. "

"But to what purpose?" Scully said setting down the beer and 
picking up the pictures.  

"Either he wants to break out of prison like you suggested. Or" 
Mulder said sitting down next to Scully and taking her hand "He 
just wants his revenge on you."

Scully's eyes widened at this. "You are the only person that 
ever got away" Mulder said so softly she could barely hear him.   
"I would think that he thinks about that quite a bit and perhaps 
thinks that by breaking that last connection he will be at 
peace."

Scully closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening 
them again.

"It's rather ironic, don't you think" she said giving him a wry 
smile. "That Holton would target me, the one who has made her 
reputation being the 'Ice Queen' because everyone thinks I have 
no feelings."
Mulder frowned at this and took her face between his hands.

"Those people don't know you like I do Scully. I know how deep 
your feelings run. I know you are capable of both loving and 
being hurt by love."

Scully's eyes welled with tears and he brushed a stray one away.   
"I am sorry" he said leaning forward to place a kiss on her 
forehead.

Scully's smiled weakly knowing perfectly well that they were no 
longer talking about Robert Holton.

"My ego kept me from looking for you. I thought if I found you 
that you would just reject me. I was too scared to take the 
chance."

Scully wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled at him shaking 
her head a bit. "How could someone so smart be so stupid" she 
said turning from him and giving her attention back to her beer.

"Just lucky I guess" Mulder said taking a long drink of his own 
beer. "Is the injury a fatal one?" he asked not wanting to look 
her directly in the eye.

"Perhaps" Scully said finishing off her beer "but luckily for 
you, I am a Doctor."

Scully saw Mulder's shoulders relax with this statement.

"Why don't you get us another couple of beers Mulder and we will 
figure out what we are going to do about these Holton twins."

Mulder did so and he and Scully fell into easy conversation 
about what to do next.  Mulder wanted her to leave town 
immediately but Scully pointed out that the person stalking her 
already knew where she lived and she would not give the twins 
the satisfaction of scaring her away.  They decided she was 
probably safer in DC.

Mulder reluctantly agreed but only on the condition that she not 
remain alone. He would talk to Skinner about assigning someone 
to her around the clock.

"With a bit of luck Dr. Scully" Mulder said waggling his 
eyebrows at her "I will get the night shift."

Scully laughed at this and they agreed to head over to the Lone 
Gunmen's place first thing in the morning to go over what they 
had found and to see what the Gunmen could dig up on Ryan 
Holton.

Scully found herself stifling a yawn and looked at her watch.

"Mulder, I had no idea it was so late."  She said getting up.

"No wonder I am so tired.  Would you like me to take the couch 
tonight so you can get a good night's sleep? "

"No, I'll sleep out here unless you would like some company?"  
Mulder said getting up to fetch his blanket and pillow from the 
cupboard.

"I'll think I will pass on that kind offer tonight" she said 
walking towards the bedroom door.  

She was halfway in when she turned and walked over to where 
Mulder stood arms full of blanket and pillows.

Scully stretched up and gave him a kiss on the cheek."but keep 
asking, okay?"

With that she turned and went into the bedroom shutting the door 
behind her.

Mulder looked at the door and then raised a hand to his cheek.  
It was a very good thing that Holton wasn't tuned into his 
feelings because Scully's simple little gesture had unleashed a 
ton of them.

XXX

2:33 am

Mulder dreamed deeply that night his dreams filled with Scully 
as they often were.  On this night he dreamt of the two of them 
walking hand and hand along the beach talking taking only the 
occasional break to stop and kiss.

He was so intent on taking his dream to its conclusion that he 
didn't hear her first scream.  He heard the second one though 
and bounded into the bedroom totally forgetting the dream and 
the aroused state in which it put him.

Scully was still asleep but fighting frantically, the bed 
clothes tangled around her. Their presence seemed to aggravate 
her more as she kicked to try and free herself.

Mulder climbed onto the bed and took her into his arms suffering 
several blows from her flailing fists until he managed to wake 
her up.

He rocked her slowly holding her close and whispering terms of 
endearment into her ear. Scully finally opened her eyes and 
blinked as her mind finally grasped the fact that it was Mulder 
who had once again saved her.

She stared at him for a second and then buried her head on his 
shoulder and cried. Mulder was shocked at the intensity of the 
tears and the fact that she let them fall in front of him.

His chest was getting soaked from her tears but he never relaxed 
his grip on her and continued the slow rocking and tender words 
until the sobs slowed and finally stopped.

Scully hiccupped a little as she pulled her head back and 
thoughtless swiped at her nose with her sleeve. She started to 
say something to him but the sight of him hair messed from sleep 
looking at her with eyes filled with concern and love started 
her crying all over again.

This bout of tears was less severe and brought on not by the 
terror of her nightmare but the realization of what she had been 
forced to give up four years ago.

Scully finally pulled herself together enough to separate 
herself from Mulder a bit. She did the best she could to smooth 
down her pajamas and hair and then stopped when she saw Mulder 
smiling at her.

"You don't have to do that Scully "he said pushing a lone piece 
of hair behind her ear "You always look beautiful to me."

Scully frowned at this comment but let it pass.

"Do you want to talk about it?"  Mulder asked still stroking 
Scully's back.

Scully nodded "In a minute Mulder. Just let me pull myself 
together a little first."

"No problem, take your time."  He said rising from the bed 
already missing the feel of her against him. "I'll go get you a 
glass of water"

When he returned back to the bedroom he found Scully sitting on 
the straightened bed leaning back against the pillows with her 
eyes shut.

"You just couldn't leave it, could you?"  he said jokingly 
motioning to the bed.

Scully opened her eyes and looked at him forcing herself to 
smile. "What can I tell you Mulder, old habits die hard?"

He handed her the glass of water, waited for her to take a drink 
and then took the glass and placed it on the bedside table.  He 
sat on the bed next to her and without thinking put his arm 
around her and pulled her close.

"Apparently so do nightmares" he said resuming the comforting 
stroking of her back.

Scully snorted at this comment. "I am not surprised that I 
dreamed of Holton tonight but tonight the dream was different."

"How so?"  Mulder said into her hair.

Scully began to describe the dream. Her usual nightmares 
concerning Holton relived that terrible day six years ago down 
to every last detail with one exception. Mulder did not arrive 
in time to save her.

The nightmare tonight was a slight variation of that. Scully 
dreamt that she had been sitting in Mulder's office when Holton 
had attacked her from behind. He had little problem dragging her 
kicking and screaming form out of the office and down the hall 
into the storage room.

"In my dreams, at least, your theory about Holton getting his 
strength from my fears proved true.  He picked me up like I 
weighed nothing at all. "

Mulder was going to inform her that she was indeed quite light, 
but decided to let her continue.

Despite her best efforts to fight him off, Scully had found 
herself in the storage room with all four of her extremities 
tied separately so she lay on the floor spread out and totally 
open to his attacks.

Whereas six years ago Holton had pretty much proceeded with the 
business of trying to rape her, this time he had slowly moved 
along her body slitting her clothes with a knife so her most 
private areas lay naked for his inspection.

It was then when Mulder had burst into the room weapon drawn and 
had ordered Holton to stop. Holton had turned to look at him and 
had only smiled and given a brief nod of his head.

A gunshot rang out from the corner of the room and Mulder 
crumpled to the floor. Scully screamed again first at not 
knowing whether or not Mulder was dead and second from realizing 
from where the shot had come.

Ryan Holton stepped out of the shadows and walked over to his 
brother. "Well done, brother Robert had said pulling away from 
Scully. You can have the first go at her. "

"It was right about then that you managed to wake me up."  
Scully said pulling her head off of Mulder's shoulder so she 
could look up at him.

Mulder said nothing but pulled Scully closer to him and kissed 
her on top of her head.

They stayed that way for a long, long time. It was Scully who 
finally broke the silence.   

"Mulder" she began timidly "would you mind terribly staying in 
here with me tonight?"

Mulder didn't answer just gave her another squeeze and kiss on 
the top of her head.

He released her and she lay down on top of the bed curled up 
into a little ball.  Mulder grabbed the afghan off the end of 
the bed and lay down beside her wrapping her in his arms and 
covering them up.

They stayed like that, not moving just taking comfort for each 
other's presence.

"Scully?"  Mulder whispered after awhile.

"Yes" 

"Do you remember when I said you were my one in a billion?"

Scully head moved indicating that she did indeed remember.

"You still are Scully.  She meant nothing to me then. "

Scully said nothing but from the small sniffling sounds she was 
making Mulder could tell she was crying.

He nuzzled her neck and kissed her there whispering "God Scully 
I missed you."

"But" Scully was trying for the second time that night to pull 
herself together "you never even looked for me. I thought for 
sure you would, but you didn't.  I knew then that I was right to 
leave you. "

Scully's voice grew stronger now and was tinted with the 
smallest bit of anger.   

"Your quest for the truth was what was important to you.  
Whatever your feelings for me were, they were nothing compared 
to the drive to find out the truth about everything.  I was just 
standing in your way. "

Mulder sat upright at this statement his own anger rising.

"You are right Scully. I did let my search for the truth run 
every aspect of my life. I always thought that when we had found 
the truth that then there would be time for us. "

Scully had also sat up in bed but instead of snuggling towards 
him for comfort pushed herself back so she leaned against the 
headboard. She simply snorted at his comment.

Mulder glared at her for a second and then his look softened.

"When you left Scully I was hurt and very angry but thought, 
selfishly, that you would come back to me. When I finally 
realized that you weren't coming back, it was like something had 
been ripped from me. I was no longer whole. "

"But still you did nothing about it." Scully accused

"I wanted to, but Diana convinced me that it was in your best 
interest to let you go. I wanted to believe that so I did 
nothing."

"Diana tried to fill your place, both on the X-files and in my 
heart, but couldn't.  She left me then too and later I found out 
that she was working all along for the Cancer Man."

He picked up Scully's hand then.   

"It was then that I realized that they had been working to tear 
us apart.  They knew, what I didn't, that together we were 
unstoppable. "

Scully looked very tired and sighed "And when did you come to 
this realization Mulder?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, two and half, three years ago. I 
thought about looking for you then but part of me was hoping 
that you had found yourself a normal life by then. "

He looked into her eyes and she saw the amount of pain that 
still remained there. "I was also a bit embarrassed I suppose 
and didn't know exactly what I would say to you if I did find 
you."

"Well I am here now" Scully said with a slight look of challenge 
in her eyes "and I am all ears."

Mulder looked a bit panicked for a mere second knowing that he 
had painted himself into a corner. Now was his big chance. He 
had better not blow it.

He took the hand that he was still holding and turned it so the 
palm was facing up. He raised it to his lips and kissed it 
sending shivers up Scully's spine.

"I want you Scully" he said as he drew himself closer "and when 
this case is over I am going to convince you to stay."

"How do you plan to do that?"  Scully said her voice breaking 
ever so slightly.

Mulder drew close enough so she could feel his breath on her 
face. "I am going to wine you and dine you and romance you."  He 
began staring at her lips which she was unconsciously licking.   
"Then I will take you to bed and please you."

He kissed her then. The kiss was full of tenderness and love and 
the prospect of what could happen between them.

Scully was about to open herself up to him when he slowly pulled 
away.  Placing his forehead on hers and breathing a bit more 
heavily he explained why he had stopped.   

"Scully unless you want me to display the ungentlemanly side of 
myself, I suggest we call it a night."

Scully was about to protest when he placed a finger on her lips.

"When I take you to bed Scully" he smiled when she raised an 
eyebrow at this statement "for the first time it is going to be 
the perfect ending to the perfect night.  And "he continued 
straightening himself up "will be because we want to be there 
for all the right reasons and not because of all this."

Scully smiled up at him and shook her head and crawled back 
under the afghan. Mulder joined her there and took her into his 
arms where she promptly fell asleep.

This time dreaming only of Mulder and his kiss.

XXX 

Scully opened her eyes and stretched like a cat feeling truly 
content for the first time in a long, long time. She sighed 
deeply when she remembered the task ahead of her and the looming 
danger of Ryan Holton.

She frowned then wondering when, if ever, she and Mulder would 
ever get a moments peace.

Scully sat up in bed hearing the sounds of Mulder rustling 
around in his kitchen and breathing in deeply the heavenly scent 
of coffee being brewed.

A moment later she padded out to the kitchen where Mulder was 
making the coffee having already showered and dressed.

"Morning Scully" he said handing her a cup of coffee.

Scully had been wondering if he was going to want to talk about 
the events of last night but could tell immediately that Mulder 
was fully focused on the task of solving the case.

"Skinner called this morning.  Apparently Holton was acting 
rather odd during the night last night.  His cell is monitored 
24/7 so they are shipping over the tape to the Bureau. "

Scully nodded "It will only take me a minute to get dressed"

"No rush" Mulder said smiling at her. "It should only take me an 
hour or so to run over meet with Skinner and pick up the tape.  
That should give you plenty of time to shower and get your 
things ready to leave. "

"Leave?"  Scully said frowning at him. "And just where am I 
going?"

Mulder looked at her with the type of expression an adult gives 
a small child who not cooperating.   

"Scully, I think you will agree that being here is probably not 
the safest place for you right now. I thought we would go over 
to the Lone Gunmen's as we had planned and then put you in one 
of their safe houses. "

Scully wanted to argue with him but could find no real holes in 
his thinking. "Where is the safe house?"

"I have no idea. They wouldn't tell me over the phone and I 
think we'll be lucky if they don't blindfold us while we are 
going there. "

"We?" Scully asked

"You don't think I am going to stick you in some strange place 
all alone, do you?"  he said suddenly serious. "I plan on 
telling Skinner this morning that I am sticking with you like 
glue until we nab Holton."

Scully was about to speak when Mulder's cell phone rang.  He 
answered, spoke in low tones for a moment then hung up turning 
to Scully.

"That was Agent Smith. He and the building super have checked 
the entire building and secured all doors except the front one.  
Smith will be sitting outside watching the door until I return. 
Unless you would rather have him in here with you."  

Scully smiled at him "That won't be necessary Mulder.  I think 
between the two of us, we can manage for me not to be kidnapped 
in the next hour and a half.  You go now. "She added giving him 
a small push towards the door as encouragement. "The sooner you 
leave the sooner you can come back and become my human shadow."

Mulder laughed at this and went to the door to leave.  He opened 
the door and paused looking at her a long time before speaking.

"Promise me you will keep your gun with you Scully and that you 
will shoot first asks questions later."

"I promise" she said smiling. "Now go."

Mulder left shutting the door quietly behind him and waiting 
until he heard Scully lock it before walking down the hall.

He double-checked with Agent Smith who was sitting on the front 
stoop smoking a cigarette that everything was in place. Finally 
feeling that Scully was secure he got into his car and drove 
off.

Skinner had cleared his morning schedule in anticipation of 
Mulder's arrival.  He knew that Mulder wanted to get the meeting 
over as soon as possible so he could move Scully to a safer 
location.

"Good morning Agent Mulder" Skinner said from behind his desk.   
"Is Dr. Scully going to be joining us this morning?"

"No, she is preparing to move to the safe house."  

Skinner nodded and then proceeded to tell Mulder about the phone 
call that he had received early that morning from the prison 
warden.

During routine monitoring of Holton's cell, the night watchman 
had noticed that Holton had become rather agitated during the 
early part of the morning.   

"I am not exactly sure of the time "Skinner said "but it will be 
displayed on the tape.  It was somewhere around 2:30 though."

Mulder felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "Did you 
say 2:30? That is when Scully was having a horrible nightmare."

"You don't think the two could be related, do you?" Skinner 
asked although he could tell by the look on his face that Mulder 
did.

"I am not sure Sir" Mulder said flatly getting out of his chair 
and picking up the tape that sat on the corner of Skinner's 
desk. "But just in case it does, I would like to get back to 
Scully as soon as possible."

"Understood" Skinner said rising from his chair and opening the 
door for Mulder to leave. "Agent Mulder do whatever you must to 
keep her safe." He said quietly.

Mulder looked at him and smiled. He always knew that Skinner had 
a soft spot for Scully.   

"Don't worry Sir I will."

With that he was off down the hall.  A quick stop by his office 
to pick up some reports and he would be on his way back to 
Scully.  

He glanced at his watch.  He was running ahead of schedule.

"Good "he thought "I don't think I could get her away from here 
fast enough."

Mulder walked briskly into his office picked up the folders 
sitting on his desk and then stopped dead in his tracks.

Perched against the back of his chair was a large white envelope 
similar to the one he and Scully had found the day before 
leaning against his apartment door.

He grabbed it quickly and opened it.   

"Damn" he said even as he was turning and heading out of the 
door letting the picture drop to the floor.

It was a shot of him and Scully taken the night before when he 
had held her in his arms comforting her. Across the picture a 
message had been written in black ink.

"She's mine all mine Agent Mulder.  You won't have her, but I 
will. "

XXX
Mulder's Apartment Building

Agent Smith sat on the front stoop enjoying the morning sunshine 
on his face. He had just finished one cigarette and was 
considering having another one before heading back into the 
stuffiness of his car.

"You really shouldn't smoke" a voice said from behind him.   
"It's bad for your health."

Agent Smith turned to see the source of the voice his eyes 
widening with recognition. He began to reach for his weapon when 
suddenly the man spun him around, put his arm around his neck 
and snapped it like it was a match stick.

The man then picked up the body like it was a sack of rags and 
walked calmly over to Smith's car. He opened the back door and 
unceremoniously threw him in.

He smiled then.   

"Robert was right.  The kill is invigorating but the moment 
before is even better. "

He started towards the door of Mulder's building in no great 
rush. He knew that Mulder had planned to be gone at least 
another hour.  

That was more than enough time to do what he had to with Scully.

Scully slipped on Mulder's robe laughing at her reflection in 
the mirror as she towel dried her hair.  She looked like she was 
wearing her father's clothes.

Scully carefully folded the towel and was about to walk into the 
bedroom when she thought she heard a noise at the front door.  
Mindful of her promise to Mulder, she picked up her service 
weapon and walked slowly into the living room ears listening for 
any strange noise.

She walked over to the door and just as her mind was starting to 
register that it had been tampered with she felt herself being 
picked up and thrown onto the couch.

Barely able to catch her breath she looked up into the face of 
Robert Holton.  Ryan Holton she quickly corrected herself.

Holton had carelessly tossed her gun away and was looming over 
her looking at her with pure hate in his eyes.

"I don't think we have been formally introduced Agent Scully " 
he said sarcastically as he watch her scramble to an upright 
position.

"No need to. I know who you are." Scully said forcing her voice 
to remain calm.

"Then you know why I am here."  He said smoothly

"You have come to do your brother's dirty work for him I 
imagine.  To finish off what he was unable to do himself. "She 
said flatly.

"I have come to set him free." Holton said seeming bored with 
the conversation.

"And by doing so you will be sending yourself to prison and 
depriving your wife of her husband and your children of their 
father." Scully said desperately trying to buy some time.

"Oh I don't think I will go to prison."  Holton said holding up 
his hands so she could see that they were covered with gloves.   
"especially since the only fingerprints they will find on your 
body will belong to Robert."

Scully gulped at this comment but stayed quiet. "And unless I am 
mistaken it will be very hard to convict a man of murder when he 
has been sitting the whole time safe and sound behind bars."

"My partner will find you" Scully said defiantly.

"Since when is Mulder your partner again Dr. Scully?"  Holton 
said with a chuckle.   

"And even if he was still your partner he will be useless after 
your death.  He will be so full of regret and guilt that I doubt 
he will last more than a month without you. "

"What do you mean by that?"  Scully demanded.  

"Come on Dr. Scully surely you know what I mean. I don't mean to 
embarrass you but I did 'see' everything that happened here last 
night. Very touching, very touching indeed."

Scully felt her face turn red from anger not fear, at least not 
yet.

"When you left Agent Mulder before, I think the only thing that 
kept him going was the dimmest of hopes that you would return.  
After I remove that last hope, I can almost assure you that 
Agent Mulder will be joining you in heaven where you can be 
together for all eternity. "

Holton laughed at this as he turned his attentions to Scully.  
She was sitting more or less upright now trying desperately to 
keep Mulder's robe from falling off.

"But enough talk my dear."  Holton said as he roughly grabbed 
her arm and pulled her off the couch. "My brother relayed to me 
how sweet you were and I can't wait to sample you for myself."

Scully frantically tried to pull her arm away all the while 
looking around the room for a weapon. Holton followed her gaze 
and his eyes grew dark with anger.

"You are no match for me Dr. Scully. You have been a supply of 
constant energy for me these past couple of days. "  

As if to prove the point he dragged her, like a rag doll, over 
to Mulder's enormous fish tank.  With a mere flick of his finger 
he sent it toppling over barely missing Scully as it spewed 
water, fish and broken glass throughout the room.

"I know my brother enjoyed very much knocking you out" he said 
and he lifted her kicking body easily and carried her into the 
bedroom. "But I think I will take a different approach."

He held her squirming body with ease as he grabbed a length of 
rope from this coat pocket and tied her hands above her head.

He lowered her to the ground admiring the view of her breasts 
that had been exposed when Mulder's robe had dropped open.

"Very lovely indeed" he said running a finger along each breast 
and watching with fascination as each nipple sprang up at his 
touch.

"You see Dana, it's alright that I call you Dana, isn't it? " he 
asked as he carefully shoved a gag into her mouth "I want you 
fully awake and reacting to my touch.  I want you to know how 
much your body will enjoy my endeavors even as your mind is 
repulsed by them. "

He sat on one leg quieting it while he quickly secured the 
other. He repeated the process leaving Scully totally open and 
vulnerable to his every whim.

He smiled at her then almost sweetly and Scully's blood turned 
to ice.   

"Shall we begin" he asked lowering his head towards her breasts.

XXX

Mulder hardly remembered the drive back to his apartment other 
than the fact that he had placed a frantic call to Skinner 
informing him of the situation and asking for him to send over 
backup as soon as he could.

He was going as fast as he could and glanced over at the clock 
on his dashboard. Even at this speed, it would take him a little 
over five minutes to get home.

"Hang on Scully" he said like a prayer "I am coming."

Scully's mind had done her the favor of turning itself off.  
Halfway through her first climax by Holton's touch she had just 
become numb.

Her body had turned on her but her mind was doing its best to 
protect her. She just lay there perfectly still eyes open 
without really seeing.

Holton had noticed both her screams of pain and her following 
silence as he had slowly and steadily brought her to peak time 
and time again. She lay there now silent but he was convinced 
that her body ached for the ultimate release that only he could 
provide.

Scully managed to shut her eyes and tried to think of being 
anywhere else as he slowly entered her. It was useless for he 
drove himself into her with such force that her head banged 
against the floor.

It was only after hearing him grunt at his own release that she 
realized that she was about to die. She didn't even care.

He had used her brutally and by doing so had destroyed her soul.  
Part of her yearned for the peace that death would bring.

Holton looked down at her and smiled wickedly at her. "That was 
most enjoyable my dear.  It seems a pity to have to kill you but 
I am afraid that I must if only to set poor Robert free at last. 
"

He almost looked sad as he picked up the knife and slowly spun 
it around in his hand.  

With squealing tires, Mulder turned the last corner and quickly 
parked directly behind Agent Smith's car. He ran past stopping 
only momentarily when he caught the image of Smith's body out of 
the corner of his eye.

One look at the unnatural angle in which Smith's head was lying 
told him all he needed to know.  Smith was dead.

He bound up the stairs weapon drawn stopping only for a second 
when he saw his mutilated door.  Offering up a silent prayer to 
Scully's God, he entered.

Holton was busily drawing delicate lines down Scully's stomach 
when Mulder entered the room. Each line was bringing to the 
surface a small amount of Scully's blood.

Mulder saw Scully lifeless body stretched out on the floor and a 
wave of nausea swept over him.

"Federal Agent Step Away" he said calmly his gun pointed 
directly at Holton.

"Why Agent Mulder so nice to see you " Holton said quietly not 
stopping what he was doing.   

"Too bad you weren't here for the fun part.  She was just as 
good as I thought she would be. "

Mulder fought the urge to shoot Holton right in the head.   

"I said step away Holton.  This is my last warning. Step away 
right now or I will shoot. "

Holton just turned and smiled at him.   "You will not kill me 
Agent Mulder as much as you would like to. You are not man 
enough. "

Holton went back to his work Mulder cocked his gun ready to fire 
when the sound of a single gunshot echoed in his ear.

Holton fell sideways, away from Scully with a look of total 
shock on his now dead face.

Mulder spun around to see Walter Skinner calmly place his weapon 
back into his holster.  Their eyes met for a second but neither 
man said a word.

Mulder quickly pushed Holton's body off Scully and searched her 
for a pulse.  He found one but it was very weak.

"She's alive Sir, but barely."

George Washington Hospital

On more than one occasion during her three week stay in the 
hospital did Scully wish again that she had died that day in 
Mulder's apartment?  

Her soul had been ripped from her, so as far as she could see 
there was no real reason for her physical body to keep existing.

But it did, just to spite her she was sure.  Either her mother 
or Mulder was constantly by her side offering her encouragement.  
Telling her she was lucky to be alive.

It didn't help.  Nothing helped.  She was dead inside and could 
think of no way to resurrect herself.

Mulder and her mother Maggie spent hours talking to the doctors 
about Scully's condition.  Physically she was healing nicely but 
the damage to her mental state was harder to determine.

They considered it a minor miracle that she was even relating to 
anyone considering what she had been through not once but twice.  
Her entire sense of trust had been taken from her, at least when 
it came to members of the opposite sex.  

It would take a lot of love, support and effort from a man with 
who she had profound trust, they had said, to even get her on 
the road to recovery.  Even then there was no guarantee that she 
would ever return to being 'herself'.

It was not necessarily a happy day when Scully was finally 
discharged from the hospital. She was perfectly aware of what 
she had become and she knew she only had one choice.

She had to speak to Mulder immediately.

Mulder was quite surprised to see her standing in the doorway of 
his apartment. He thought that she would never want to return 
there again.

"Hey" he said opening the door so she could pass.

She did so without saying anything.  Mulder thought nothing of 
it, he was too busy watching her reaction to being back in his 
apartment again.

But there was no reaction.  That worried him.

"Mulder" Scully said trying not to meet his eyes. "I need to 
talk to you about something."

Mulder nodded already feeling a looming sense of dread spread 
over him. He pointed to the couch and they both sat.

"Mulder I have been thinking a lot about what I am going to do 
with myself now that" she trailed off but then began again.   

"I remember you asking me to promise you that I would never 
leave without saying goodbye."

Mulder nodded.   

"Well, I am here to say goodbye Mulder" she knew she had said it 
badly but couldn't help it.

"What I mean to say "she said trying again for the third time 
"is that you had mentioned trying to convince me to stay here in 
DC. To give us a chance to evolve as a couple"

Mulder barely nodded.   

"Well I know that is one dream that will never come to pass now.  
And knowing that, I really can't stand the thought of being this 
close to you and not"

Mulder cut her off by pulling her into his arms.   "You don't 
have to leave Scully.  We can work through this, together."

"No we can't Mulder" she said into his shirt. "Don't you see?  
There is nothing left of me but this shell of my former self.  
You deserve better than that.  You deserve a whole person. A 
person who can love you and wants to be with you. "

She pulled away far enough for her to look him directly in the 
eye.   

"You deserve someone who won't become physically ill at the 
thought of you touching her"

Mulder looked at her his heart breaking. "Scully you know I 
would never hurt you"

"I know that Mulder, believe me, I know that. But even now being 
this close to you brings up images of them and what they did to 
me."

"You can tell me about it if you want" he said softly.

Scully sprung to her feet. "Believe me Mulder you don't want to 
hear it any more than I want to say it."

Mulder wanted to take her in his arms again but thought better 
of it.

"I can stand it if you can Scully" he said softly.

"Okay.  You asked for it " she said dryly beginning to pace 
around the room as if trying to escape something.

She told him everything then.  

From the way in which Holton had flicked over his fish tank with 
just one finger to how he had suckled her until her body had 
arched under him in release.

"I tried to fight him off with my mind but my body listened to 
him not me." She said staring without seeing off into the 
distance. "Finally, though, my mind won out and shut off 
everything."

"Don't you see Mulder, to save me from responding to him any 
further my mind has simply cut off all feeling.  I feel next to 
nothing for anything or anyone now. "

Mulder took a step towards her but she raised her hand to stop 
him.   

"I know, it may come back with time and I hope that at least my 
emotions do.  But who knows how long it will take. I can't ask 
you to do that for me. It just isn't fair. "

Mulder stood motionless. "Where are you going to go?"

Scully smiled at this.   

"It is nice to know at least this time around you're asking.  A 
friend of my mother's has a little cabin up in the mountains 
about an hour or so from here. I thought a little peace and 
quiet may help."

Mulder said nothing as she walked over to the door. He didn't 
have to. He knew that she knew how he felt.

"Goodbye Mulder"

An hour later Mulder stood outside of Maggie Scully's hotel room 
eagerly pounding on the door.

Maggie opened the door and immediately smiled at the sight of 
him.

"Hello Fox" she said stepping aside so he could enter her room.   
"This is a pleasant surprise." She gave him a quick peck on the 
cheek causing him to blush ever-so-slightly.

"Dana" he started and noticing the look of panic that appeared 
on Maggie's face he took a deep breath and began again. "I am 
looking for Dana Mrs. Scully."

"She's gone Fox.  She promised me that she would speak to you 
first this time. Did she not do that? "

"Oh she spoke to me all right." He said his voice full of 
resentment. "Pretty much told me to go and find my own life. A 
life without her. "

Maggie Scully looked at Mulder's face and saw the pain in his 
eyes. "And are you planning to respect her wishes Fox?" she 
asked softly.

"Hell no." he said giving her a small wicked smile.  

"Thank goodness" Maggie sighed offering him a seat. "Take a seat 
Fox and I will order us some coffee and I will tell you 
everything I know."

You Have Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself Part Three
By Katie Phillips
Disclaimer information can be found in Part One
XXX

Scully opened up the window of the small cabin letting 
the fresh air fill the room.  She breathed deeply 
enjoying the scents of the flowers that sprung up 
everywhere.

When Scully had first arrived at the cabin her emotions 
had been nothing short of raw.  She stayed up half the 
night listening for Mulder's arrival.

The next several days she found herself doing the same 
thing.  Waiting for him to come and being mad at him when 
he didn't.

By the fourth day she had finally realized that Mulder 
was adhering to her specific request to be left alone.  
She admitted to herself that although she had told him to 
build himself a life without her she had truly wished 
that he would have dropped everything and followed her.

"What a fool you are" she chastised herself "He didn't 
come after you the first time and you weren't damaged 
goods then.  Why do you think he will come now especially 
when you told him NOT to."

She had cried then a little only later noticing that it 
was the first time since her attack that she had cried 
about anything.

Knowing for sure that Mulder wasn't coming gave Scully 
permission to really relax and let her guard down.  She 
stayed up late reading trashy novels and slept in.

She didn't shower until the latter part of the afternoon 
or on some days never showered at all instead opting to 
bathe nude in the warm water of the nearby lake.

By the middle of the second week, Scully began to be at 
peace with herself.

On this particular day, Scully had slept in very late and 
had barely showered off before dressing in some old cut 
off jeans and one of Mulder's old Yankee t-shirts.

She looked down at the shirt and smiled wondering to 
herself why Mulder had never asked for it back.

She read a little and walked a bit through the woods 
before settling down on the dock at sunset with a glass 
of wine dangling her toes in the water.

Scully felt his presence before she heard him.  

She closed her eyes and whispered a small prayer of 
thanks.

"Hey" Mulder said softly "is this seat taken?"

Scully looked up at him standing there in a pair of 
running shorts and a t-shirt that made the one she was 
wearing look new.

"Be my guest" she said not noticing that she moved a 
little away from him when he sat.

Mulder noticed but said nothing just hung his legs over 
the edge of the dock and waited.

"So what brings you to this neck of the woods Agent 
Mulder?  Crop circles nearby?"

Mulder smiled at this "No actually I came to get back my 
t-shirt."  

He was rewarded for his small joke with a little smile.  
"Seriously Scully I can here to make good on my word."

"Your word?"  Scully said frowning slightly.

"If you remember Scully, about a month ago I promised to 
wine, dine and romance you"

"I appreciate the thought Mulder but frankly I think you 
will be wasting your time. The Dana Scully you wanted to 
wine and dine and take to bed no longer exists." She said 
a bit coldly.

"I don't agree with you Scully. I think she just needs a 
little help getting out." Mulder said working hard to 
keep his emotions out of his voice.

"And you think you are the man to perform this miracle?"  
Scully said looking at him skeptically.

"Scully, you know I don't like to blow my own horn, but 
you know I have a knack of getting into people's heads." 
He said looking out over the water.

"You want to get into my head?" Scully said not sure if 
she should be insulted or angry.

"What I want, Scully, is to try to help you get through 
this."

"Why?" she demanded taking a large gulp of her wine.

"Because you mean everything to me Scully and because I 
know you would do the same for me. Wouldn't you?" he 
replied.

Scully ignored the question.  

"What about work?  The X-files?"

"Luckily for me Skinner has always had a little thing for 
you."  Mulder said smiling.

"He has not" Scully retorted

"Well, for whatever reason he has put me on paid leave to 
'render my professional psychological services to a 
fellow FBI agent who is suffering from the aftermath of 
several violent acts committed against her while 
performing her duty'."

"Really?"  Scully said mildly impressed that Skinner 
would go to bat for her like that.

"Really. So what do you say?  Can I hang around and bug 
you for a while Scully?"  Mulder tried to keep the tone 
light but was very nervous that she would say 'no'.

"I suppose a little company wouldn't hurt.  Do you 
promise to put the top on the toothpaste and leave the 
toilet seat where you find it?"

Mulder laughed.  "I'll do my best"

"Okay then Agent Mulder, you can stay."  

Mulder let go the breath he been holding. "Good, I'll put 
my things in the cabin."

True to his word Mulder did not push himself on Scully. 
He even refrained from casual touches for the first 
couple of days as she accustomed herself to his presence.

During the first day or so, she would move ever-so-
slightly away from him whenever he stood nearer. By the 
third day Mulder noticed that this subtle movement had 
stopped.

He took this as a good sign and slowly incorporated his 
'normal' touches back into the mix.  Scully reacted 
pretty much the same as before.  Nervous at first but 
slowly accepting.

Mulder also encouraged Scully to talk. About anything and 
nothing.

And she did.  She found herself opening up herself to him 
in a way that she never thought possible.

Mulder was a great listener once you managed to keep him 
in one place for any length of time.  He never judged and 
often provided some keen insight or advice.

"Maybe when you return home you should start your own 
practice" Scully said one night after they had sat in 
front of the fire for hours just talking.

"Wouldn't that raise a few eyebrows down at the Bureau?" 
he said laughing.  

He looked at her then and for the first time in weeks saw 
something stir down in the depths of her eyes.

He tried to keep his excitement under wraps.  He didn't 
want to scare her. Not when she had come so far.

Knowing that this was a good time to call it a day, he 
had risen from his seat and stretched.  

"I am beat Scully.  I think I will turn in."

"I am going to read a bit I think" Scully said. Mulder 
nodded knowing full well that Scully read until she was 
on the brink of exhaustion just to ensure that she would 
fall quickly asleep.

"Tomorrow I thought I would take a hike up the mountain.  
Would you care to join me?"

"Agent Mulder are you asking me out on a date?" she said 
not believing that she was actually flirting with him.

Mulder just raised his eyebrows at her and she laughed.  
"Typical man, won't commit to anything."  

Mulder faked a pout at her comment and she laughed again. 
"Okay, okay, I'll go with you."

"Great" Mulder said "See you in the morning."

The Mountaintop

The hike had taken longer than either expected but the 
view was worth all the effort.  The day was clear and 
from their perch on top of the mountain they could see 
for miles and miles in every direction.

"This was a great idea Mulder" Scully said as she settled 
herself against a tree a poked around in her bag for her 
lunch.

"Thanks for joining me Scully." He said sitting down next 
to her and pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.  

Noticing that she hadn't flinched at his touch her took 
the chance and placed his palm against her cheek.  "I am 
glad you are here to share this with me."

Scully looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but 
tenderness, warmth and the slightest hint of desire 
there.  She closed her eyes and allowed herself to savor 
the warmth of his hand against his skin.

When she opened her eyes she found him still watching her 
intently. Feeling slightly embarrassed she reached back 
into her backpack mumbling something about being 
starving.

They ate in companionable silence speaking only to point 
out a strange bird in flight or some other example of 
nature's splendor.

Once full, Scully gave out a huge yawn grinning 
sheepishly at Mulder when she had stopped.  "I guess I 
stayed up too late last night reading" she admitted.

"Why don't you take a little catnap?"  Mulder suggested 
patting his lap.  "I will be honored to serve as your 
pillow."

Scully looked at him a bit skeptically and then yawned 
again.  She nodded and curled up into a little ball with 
her head on Mulder's lap.

She smiled up at him and he quietly began to stroke her 
hair.  "Don't let me sleep too long" she said eyes 
already beginning to close.

Scully fell asleep within seconds feeling safe for the 
first time in weeks.  Mulder sat there stroking her hair 
and enjoying the peaceful look on her face.

He was still gazing at her and stroking her when she 
awoke.  She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him 
smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Sleep well Scully?"  Mulder said as she slowly sat up 
still a bit groggy.  She nodded at him sleepily and he 
put his arm around her and pulled her close.

Scully laid her head on his chest and sighed.  

"Are the nightmares still keeping you up at night?" he 
asked softly as he gently rubbed her back.

"Yeah" she said so softly he could barely hear her.  "Do 
you think they will ever go away?"

"I think once you know that you are truly safe that they 
will begin to fade."  Mulder answered her kissing the top 
of her head.  

"You make me feel safe Mulder" she said pulling her head 
away from his chest so she could look at him.  Her eyes 
locked with his and despite his best efforts his gaze 
went down to her lips.

"I'm glad" Mulder said feeling the pull of her like steel 
to a magnet.  He moved very slowly towards knowing that 
he may be rushing things with her but unable to pull 
away.

Scully must have felt it too for she opened her lips 
slightly and tilted her head to receive his kiss.

Their lips had barely touched when a surge of pure panic 
raced through Scully.  

Before she could stop herself she pushed him away, got up 
and began to race down the path.

XXX

Mulder took his time packing up their things and heading 
back down the mountain.  There really was no need to 
rush.

Scully would need time to collect herself and he would 
need time to walk off the frustration.  He knew it had 
been awhile since he had found relief either by his own 
hand or with a woman but he was amazed at how aroused he 
had become at the mere thought of kissing her.

Heaven help him if she ever let him touch her.

Mulder found Scully sitting on the porch swing sipping 
wine when he returned.  She had showered and had changed 
out of her hiking clothes and into a pretty little sun 
dress.

Scully stood up as he approached and walked over to him 
as he climbed the porch steps.

"Mulder I" she began but he cut her off with a wave of 
his hand.  

"I think I am going to take a quick shower" was all he 
said before entering the cabin leaving Scully to wonder 
how much of set back her actions on the mountain had 
been.

Mulder showered quickly and then joined Scully out on the 
porch swing accepting with a smile the glass of wine she 
offered him.

They sat side by side in uncomfortable silence until 
Scully finally broke it.  "Mulder, if it is okay with you 
I would like to try again."

Mulder thought he had misheard her until he saw that she 
had suddenly become very interested in the boards making 
up the porch floor.

"Try what again?"  Mulder asked just to be sure.

Scully actually blushed, something which Mulder found 
quite charming.  "The kiss.  Maybe between the wine and 
the knowledge that it is coming, I won't freak out 
again."

Mulder put down his wine glass and then turned to her 
taking her face between his hands.  

"You look very beautiful tonight Scully." He said looking 
directly into her eyes.  

He bent over slowly and barely touched her lips with his.  
He pulled back and looked at her his eyes full of 
concern.  "Still okay Scully?"  he said.

Scully looked up at him her eyes asking him to continue.  
So he did.  This time a bit longer and a bit deeper.

Scully felt herself slowly open up to him.  She began to 
kiss him back and felt her desire rushing through her 
body and pooling between her legs.

It was this sensation, though, that caused her to break 
off the kiss rather abruptly.  Mulder looked down at her 
and saw that her eyes were once again filling with fear.

This time it was Mulder who bolted upright his 
frustration at the situation showing itself for the first 
time.  He swung his fist randomly knocking over a small 
table before walking to the railing and hitting it with 
his palm with all his might.

"It's alright Mulder" Scully said walking over to him.

"It's not alright at all Scully" Mulder said whirling 
around to face her.  "God I am aching to touch you and I 
can't."

He strode past her and threw himself into one of the 
porches many chairs.  "I know I am being selfish Scully 
but I can't help it.  I want so much to help you" his 
voice trailed off.

Scully walked over to him and sat down on the ground in 
front of his chair waiting for him to gather himself 
together enough to look down at her.

When he did she smiled up at him shaking her head in 
amazement.  "Mulder sometimes you amaze me."

"How so?"  Mulder said still angry.

"You are probably the most intelligent man I have ever 
met and yet some times you can't see what is going on 
right in front of you."

Mulder snorted at this but said nothing. "You really 
think that you haven't helped me?"

Mulder nodded.  

"Mulder, look at me."  When he did she continued.  "Did 
you know that when I was in the hospital, the mere 
thought of a man being in the same room with me made me 
physically sick."

"It did?"  Mulder said wondering if he had caused such a 
reaction.

As if she read his mind she continued.  "Even you Mulder 
although in your case I managed to keep it under control 
until after you left."

"I am so sorry Scully" Mulder said reaching down and 
stroking her face.  "I had no idea I was upsetting you so 
much."

"Don't you see, it isn't you that is causing all of these 
reactions but my memories of them."  

She took his hand in her small one and kissed it.  "Only 
two weeks ago I wasn't able to feel anything.  To connect 
to anyone.  To let myself touch or be touched."

"The fact that I am sitting here hoping that you will 
kiss me again before the night is done is proof positive 
of how much you have helped me Mulder. Can't you see 
that?"

Mulder nodded and said tentatively "You really want to 
kiss me again?"

She laughed at the look of awe on his face.  "Mulder, 
that is the least of what I want to do to you."  She said 
slowly dragging one lone finger up and down the top of 
his thigh.

Mulder looked mildly shocked at the idea although his 
crotch seemed to have other ideas.  

"Scully!"  he said knocking her hand off his leg.  "Don't 
even think such a thing.  If you can't well then, uh, um 
I will just wait until you can"

Scully laughed enjoying seeing the usually cool and 
collected Mulder so flustered.  

"Oh come on Mulder.  I thought you would be happy at the 
progress I made.  A little over a month ago I was scared 
to death to even lay my eyes on you.  Now I can't help 
but think of all the things I can do for you until I get 
'back on my feet.'"

At this a totally shocked Mulder got up and walked into 
the living room.  He paused in front of the fireplace as 
in deep thought.

He turned slowly giving Scully a suspicious look as she 
came along side him.

"Why?"  he said bluntly.

"Because I want to do this for you Mulder.  I owe you my 
soul, the least I can do is ease your frustration a bit 
while satisfying a long time fantasy of mine." She said 
flirtatiously.

This comment distracted Mulder a moment, but he narrowed 
his eyes and looked at her.  

"Why?"  he repeated. He paused before continuing.  "Are 
you leaving?"

Scully sighed and nodded.  Mulder looked at her for a 
moment like his heart would break and then walked over to 
the mantle and leaned against it.

Scully walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around 
him.  "I am leaving first thing in the morning Mulder."

"Why?"  Mulder asked for the third time.

"I did a lot of thinking before you arrived Mulder." She 
began leaning her cheek against his back as she spoke.  
"I have decided to sell my house and relocate."

"Where?"  Mulder said trying to remain calm.

"I am not sure yet.  I have been looking into a couple of 
job opportunities so I guess I will go where the work 
takes me."

She pulled away from him then and taking one arm turned 
him so he faced her.  "Mulder I have to do this.  I have 
to take back control of my life.  Can you understand 
that?"

Mulder did and nodded his understanding.  

"Taking back my life doesn't mean, however, that I have 
any intention of removing you from it." She said looking 
into his eyes with an intensity which showed she meant 
every word of what she was saying.

"I promise you Mulder that as soon as know which path I 
will be taking, you will be the first person I call."

"Even before your mother?"  Mulder said trying to force 
himself to smile.

Scully smiled back.  "Even before my mother.  You are 
going to have to trust me on this one Mulder.  Do you 
think you can do that?"

Mulder nodded again even though he felt his heart tear.  
He knew he had no choice but to let her leave and then 
pray like crazy that she would return.

"Good" Scully said "Now let's see about supper."

They made dinner and ate in relative silence.  When they 
had finished, Scully asked Mulder if he wanted to go for 
a walk with her down to the lake.

"It is so beautiful in the moonlight" she had told him "I 
would like to see it one more time before I leave."

Mulder had agreed immediately and they walked down the 
path together with Mulder's arm slung protectively about 
her.

There was a bench on the small pier and they sat there 
looking out onto the water.  Scully snuggled against 
Mulder's chest and he wrapped his arms around her 
wondering for the thousandth time that night how he was 
ever going to let her go.

They sat there in silence until Scully pulled back enough 
so she could see Mulder's face.  Her eyes were searching 
for something in his and when she saw it she sighed.  
What she felt for him was echoed back to her in his own 
eyes.

He kissed her then.  Long and deep and very tenderly.  
When they finally pulled apart he smiled at her and 
kissed her on the forehead.

"Promise me you won't take long Scully" he said 

"I promise" she said as he bent down to kiss her again.

XXX

Mulder woke the next morning stretching and feeling the 
most relaxed he had in months.  He smiled to himself as 
he thought back over the events of the previous night.

After a prolonged make-out session down on the pier 
Mulder had escorted Scully to the door of her room where 
she kissed him once again before saying 'goodnight'.

Somewhere in the middle of the night Mulder had become 
aware of a presence in the room. He opened his eyes to 
see Scully standing in the doorway silhouetted by the 
hall light shining behind her.

She had wasted little time joining him on his bed and 
pulling him towards her in a kiss that gave Mulder a 
small sample of the passion would offer him.

His body responded immediately and when Scully smiled and 
cocked an eyebrow at him, he shook his head.  As much as 
he had fantasized about her doing what she was proposing, 
he would wait.

Scully had smiled again at him and kissed him very 
softly. It was then that she had crawled alongside him 
and pulled his arm across her and they had both fallen 
asleep.

Mulder smiled at the memory and strained his ears 
listening sounds within the cabin.  He knew he would hear 
none.

Scully was gone.

He fell back against the pillows when he heard the subtle 
chirping of his cell phone.  He bound out of bed tripping 
over his own shoes as he grabbed his jacket and pulled 
the phone from the pocket.

"Mulder" he said his voice still hoarse.

"Good morning sleepy head" Mulder could hear the smile in 
Scully's voice.

"Good morning Scully.  Where are you?"  Mulder said 
trying not to sound too desperate.

"At the airport, my flight leaves in about 15 minutes."  
Scully paused then said "I believe I promised that I 
would never leave without saying goodbye so 'goodbye' 
Mulder."

"Goodbye Scully" Mulder murmured.

XXX

It had been close to a month since Mulder had returned to 
DC alone.  He tried to throw himself into his work but 
found himself easily distracted.

He missed Scully and everyday fought the temptation to 
use the Lone Gunmen or any other resource at his disposal 
to track her down and drag her back to DC.

But he had told her that he trusted her and that he would 
wait to hear from her.

Mulder hated to wait.

Walter Skinner had noticed the difference in his favorite 
agent as soon as he had returned from his time with 
Scully.  Skinner had offered him the opportunity to take 
a real vacation, but Mulder had turned him down.  

Skinner had understood Mulder's desire to stay close to 
DC in case Scully should reappear unannounced, but he 
also saw Mulder's work suffer as a result.

It suffered to such an extent that Skinner could no 
longer ignore the situation.  He had respected Mulder's 
decision to work alone but now saw that he had no choice 
but to find Mulder a partner.

Skinner made a few calls and came up with a list of 
possible candidates.  Surely amongst the names on his 
short list even Mulder would be able to find someone 
suitable.

He was about to tell Kimberly to set up a meeting with 
Mulder to discuss the candidates when he received a call 
from the Director.  Apparently he had also noticed the 
decline in Mulder's solve rate and had come up with his 
own solution to the problem.

Skinner had heard the Director and had tried to voice his 
own opinion on the matter, but the Director's mind was 
made up.  His hand picked selection for Mulder's partner 
would arrive in Skinner's office first thing in the 
morning.

"Wonderful" Skinner said hanging up the phone.  "I hope 
the poor guy has a tough skin because Mulder isn't going 
to be too happy about this."

Skinner looked at the clock and noticing that it was 
getting on towards five, decided to leave Mulder alone 
until the following morning.  There was no need, he 
thought, to upset him tonight.

Skinner's Office 9:00 AM

To say that Mulder was upset at being given a new partner 
was a bit of an understatement.  He was livid and became 
even more so when he found out that he had absolutely no 
say in the matter at all.

"You need to calm down" Skinner said walking from behind 
his desk and placing a hand on Mulder's shoulder.  

"I don't want to calm down Sir" Mulder said shrugging off 
Skinner's hand.  "Do you remember the last partner that 
they hand picked for me?"

He answered his own question.  

"I believe they had Diana Fowley all set up to be my new 
partner and before that Alex Krycek"

"And before that Dana Scully" Skinner said calmly sitting 
on the edge of his desk.  

"Mulder you have to accept the fact that Scully has moved 
on from the X-files.  You need a new partner.  We both 
know it.  Getting one doesn't mean you think any less of 
her."

Mulder opened his mouth and then closed it wondering when 
his boss had gotten so smart.

He nodded.  "I do miss her Sir."

"I know Mulder"  

A discreet knock sounded at the door and Skinner gave 
Mulder a look to indicate that this portion of the 
conversation was over.

Skinner opened the door and shook hands with the Director 
who quickly walked into the room and shook Mulder's as 
well.

Skinner's mouth fell open as he saw who was following 
him.  He said nothing but turned to see Mulder's reaction 
as the Director paused in his small talk to motion to the 
woman standing next to him.

"Of course you know Agent Scully" the Director said 
smiling.  "She has agreed to being your partner again 
Agent Mulder."

"If that is alright with you Agent Mulder?" Scully said 
with mock formality.

"That will suit me just fine Agent Scully."  Mulder said 
shaking her hand to seal the deal and trying very hard 
not to laugh out loud.  "Welcome back."

"Splendid.  Now since that matter is settled, perhaps you 
could bring Agent Scully up to speed on things Agent 
Mulder.  I have some other departmental matters to 
discuss with AD Skinner."

"Nice to see you again Sir" Mulder said shaking the 
Director's hand and placing his hand on Scully's back 
guiding her from the office.

They said nothing until the doors of the elevator had 
shut.

"And how are you feeling these days Agent Scully?"  
Mulder said giving her a sideways glance.

"Much better, thank you Agent Mulder." Scully said trying 
hard not to smile "So much better that I think we will be 
able to finish up on that project we were working on up 
in the mountains."

"Excellent"  

XXX

End of story