From: Amy Schatz Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Awakening (1/4) **R** Date: Sun, 30 Jun 96 12:55:56 PDT Hello, everyone! Hope everyone is having a nice summer. This is a story that I started a while ago, and just could not finish. So, after a major overhaul, this is what happened. DISCLAIMER: I don't own M&S, but I did create Ryan. I named him in homage of one of my favorite soap opera villains. Does anyone know who it is? :D THANKS: Thanks again to Melissa for her never-ending help and advice. To Molly, for her suggestion about Mulder, which helped me to finally finish this story. And to Anna, for reading this. :D CREDIT: The quoted lines at the beginning are from a song by Garbage called "Supervixen." **STORY NOTE and WARNING**: !!If graphic descriptions of sexual assault (but not rape) bother you, please avoid this story, or at the very least, be warned.!! I would never want what happens to Scully in this story to really happen to her, GA, or any woman. This is just a story, and I wanted to see how the characters would react under these conditions. This story is rated R for =adult= language, violence, and partial nudity. Consider yourselves warned. It is also a M/S romance. COMMENTS: I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at: risamy@epix.net That's all!! ===================================== The Awakening by Amy Schatz _________________________________ Make a whole new religion A falling star that you cannot live without And I'll feed your obsessions There will be nothing but this thing that you will never doubt This thing you'll never doubt __________________________________ The lights from the store fronts whizzed by quickly. Her eyes were fixed on some unknown point in front of her as she drove. She wasn't really paying attention. She just wanted to get to where she was going and make her mind stop for a while. She felt like she spent every waking hour thinking, analyzing, and she was sick of it. She wanted to lose herself in feeling. Which was why she was going to her favorite bar. Actually, it was her favorite because she didn't really go to many bars, and she had been there once with Mulder. Mulder. There was a name that made her think. she told herself. She pulled into the parking lot of the bar and slid into a spot. Turning the car off, she glanced at herself in the mirror quickly. In truth, she did, but she could never see that. She had come here straight from work, so she still wore her suit jacket and skirt. They were dark colored and she wore a white blouse underneath. she thought, stepping out of the car. She walked to the entrance of the bar and stepped inside. Loud music instantly assaulted her, as did blaring lights, and loud conversation. It was then that Scully remembered why Mulder had liked this place so much: it played loud, horrifying music, used flashing lights, and served bad food. It was practically heaven to Mulder. She headed to the bar, not letting her gaze travel around the room. Why bother to see all the happy couples in the bar? Why torture herself? She saw that there was only one seat left open at the bar, so she took it. * * * Sitting in a booth in the back of the bar was Mulder. He leaned back into the strangely comfortable cushion of the bench and sighed. Across from him sat a lovely woman with honey brown hair, warm brown eyes, and a luxurious smile. Mulder had met her a few weeks ago in this very bar, and he had decided that he needed to get a life. So, he had been going out with her since then. She was nice, pretty, and she seemed to have fun with him. He considered her a nice way to spend a few lonely evenings; especially those evenings when he would otherwise be lonely thinking about someone else. So, now he sat in his favorite bar with her, and he was even slightly happy. At least for a while. She took a sip of her drink and smiled. "How was your day, Fox?" He cringed and leaned forward. "What is rule number one, Janette?" Janette flipped her hair back and rolled her eyes. "Come on!" she whined. He held his finger up and his gaze hardened slightly. "What is it?" She sighed and sank back. "I know. I know. Not Fox, Mulder. But why?" He smiled in triumph, his eyes still a little dark. "Because I said so." She smirked. "Oh, and do you always get everything you want?" His triumphant smile turned into a rueful one as he reached for his own drink. "Usually..." * * * At the bar, Scully had ordered a drink, and was now nursing it. She sat between a blonde woman deep in conversation with her erstwhile boyfriend, and a fairly drunk man in his late thirties. Scully really didn't like the way the man was looking at her, but she wouldn't give up her seat easily. She was about to take another sip of her drink when she felt the man's eyes on her again. By now she had had enough. She had let it go for the better part of fifteen minutes, but enough was enough. She set her glass down, tucked a stray strand of copper hair behind her ear, and turned to face the man next to her. "Excuse me, is there a problem?" she asked in her best FBI interrogation voice. The man smiled in the lopsided way that drunk people do, and said, "Yes. You and I are apart." her inner voice told her. Scully looked at the man. He was rather sturdy looking, had light brown hair, and grey eyes that were lined with red from his night of liquor. As she looked at him, she had the strangest feeling that she knew him. He seemed familiar to her somehow. She kept her gaze strong and said, "Sir, thank you, but I'm not interested." She went to turn away, but his hand streaked out and grabbed her by the arm. "Not so fast, Red. I'm not done talking." Scully wrenched free of his grasp, and stared at him hard, her blue eyes burning into him. "I'm not interested!" she said, a little louder this time. The man smiled and his arm snaked around her waist before she could stop him. He roughly pulled her close to him and his stinky breath assaulted her nose. "I don't think you heard me, honey. I like you." Now her eyes darkened, and she placed her hands on his chest. And there it was again - that feeling of recognition. She was almost sure now that she knew this man. Maybe she had interrogated him once. "Sir, I am a medical doctor and an FBI agent. That is most definitely a dangerous combination, at least for you. Let me go, or I will be forced to permanently paralyze the lower portion of your body!" Her voice had been rising in pitch during her little tirade, and when she ended, she was shouting. A few people around them turned in their direction, but the rest of the people in the bar couldn't hear because of the music. The man's grip on Scully tightened. "I don't like it when women shout at me," he said in a low voice. That was it. Scully snapped. She smiled sweetly, and said, "Oh really? Well, see how you like this!" With that, she turned around, jabbed him viciously in the ribs, and then slugged him across the jaw. The man let go of her out of reflex and almost fell off the stool; in part from pain and from surprise. Scully slipped off the stool, turned around, and was about to walk out when she felt a hand close around her wrist in an iron grip. He spun her around and before she knew what was happening, his fist had connected with her jaw, sending her crashing to the floor. And everyone around them gasped. * * * Mulder heard the noise near the bar and his gaze flew in that direction. His eyes scanned the area, and caught a flash of red hair on the floor. Red hair meant only one thing to Mulder: Scully. Without another thought, he jumped out of his seat, and pushed his way between the crowd that had suddenly formed. He arrived at the bar to find a large, burly man towering over a woman on the floor. Mulder looked down at the woman in time to see her lift her head up. "Scully," he mumbled. For some reason he was too awed to move. He wanted to help her, but he knew that Scully always told him that she could take care of herself. Scully didn't notice Mulder. Her gaze was fixed upon the man as she looked up at him through her disheveled hair. Blood covered part of her lower lip, and the corner of her mouth, and she could already feel a bruise forming. And then suddenly she jumped up and charged the man. She punched him hard in the stomach and was about to grab his arm and pull it behind his back, when the man viciously grabbed her by her hair and pulled her head back painfully. And then he brought his knee up and jabbed it into her stomach. She crumpled to the floor in silence and didn't move. At this Mulder could take no more. He charged the man and punched him in the jaw, then pushed him away. The man, who was very drunk, staggered back and almost fell. This gave Mulder enough time to pull out his gun, which he always kept with him. "Freeze!" Mulder shouted, brandishing his gun. Everyone in the bar gasped again. Scully still hadn't moved. Mulder was on auto-pilot. He had slipped into the behavior of a special agent of the FBI protecting his partner. He barely noticed the response of the people. His eyes were locked on the man. "I am Special Agent Mulder of the FBI, and I am placing you under arrest," he said sternly. Then he turned to the bartender. "Call the police." The bartender nodded, and made the call as Mulder stepped forward towards the man, who was leaning against the bar. Mulder was just as tall as the man, but he was considerably outweighed by him. Mulder's eyes were dark as he looked at the man squarely. "If you *ever* touch her again, you will be sorry." The man did not respond. Mulder stepped back and stole a glance at Scully. She was finally coming around, and trying to get up, but no one was helping her. "Somebody help her!" Mulder shouted. "Now!" A woman leaned down and offered Scully her arm. "Get away from me!" Scully shouted, and glared at the woman. Then she pushed herself up from the floor, and stood shakily before Mulder. "Are you okay, Scully?" he asked, still holding his gun on the man. Her lip was bleeding and the skin around her mouth was already starting to darken. She held one arm around her middle, but said nothing. And it was then that Mulder saw the tears in her eyes. "Mulder...how could you?" she asked softly as the tears escaped her eyes. "Scully? What do you mean?" But she couldn't say anything else. She glanced around at the people and never felt more humiliated in all her life. She had always told everyone and herself that she could take care of herself. And now, to be saved by a man in front of everyone...it was just too much. "Fox, what's going on?" asked a voice, cutting through the silence. Scully turned, and she caught sight of Janette, and guessed who she was: Mulder's girlfriend; and that was just the last straw. She turned around and walked out of the bar, her arm still cradling her midsection, having never answered Mulder. She never noticed that one of her business cards had fluttered to the floor. Mulder stood there in shock. Eventually, he told the bartender to keep his eyes on the man, and wait for the police. Then Mulder ran out of the bar. He saw her walking towards her car. "Scully! Scully, what's wrong?" he called out. She didn't turn around. She finally reached her car, unlocked the door, and opened it. Before she got in, she said, "Go back to your girlfriend, Mulder. Don't worry about me." And then she drove away. * * * continued in part 2... =========================================================================== From: Amy Schatz Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Awakening (2/4) **R** Date: Sun, 30 Jun 1996 14:37:18 -0700 DISCLAIMER: I don't own M&S, but I did create Ryan. I named him in homage of one of my favorite soap opera villains. Does anyone know who it is? :D **STORY NOTE and WARNING**: !!If graphic descriptions of sexual assault (but not rape) bother you, please avoid this story, or at the very least, be warned.!! I would never want what happens to Scully in this story to really happen to her, GA, or any woman. This is just a story, and I wanted to see how the characters would react under these conditions. This story is rated R for =adult= language, violence, and partial nudity. Consider yourselves warned. It is also a M/S romance. On to part 2 ================================================ The Awakening (2/4) **R** by Amy Schatz Mulder sat in their office two weeks later, chewing thoughtfully on some sunflower seeds. He was supposed to be looking over the notes on their latest case, but his mind kept returning to that fateful Friday night at his favorite bar. He couldn't seem to let it go, much less forget about it. But that seemed to be exactly what Scully had done. Had he expected her to do any different? Not really. Every day since that night, Scully had come into their office and acted like nothing had happened. Scully seemed to be an expert at pushing her feelings so far down that no one could find them. Of course, she had probably learned that from him. He still hadn't dealt with all that had happened to him while she had been gone, and subsequently in the hospital. After all, he still got tears in his eyes when he thought about seeing her for the first time in that hospital bed, as wires and tubes snaked around her. He still felt those emotions so profoundly, thanks in part to his eidetic memory, and to the fact that it affected him so deeply. When he had burst into that room, and saw her lying there, so pale and lifeless, he had wanted to cry. But, he knew he couldn't do that, so he had gotten angry; had shouted and screamed. He had lost control. When it came to Scully's safety, he was just a little over-protective. Okay, maybe he was obsessive, but it was only because he cared so much. And because he cared, he couldn't forget about that night. When Scully came through the door, he had every intention of discussing it with her. * * * Scully walked down the dark basement hall, absently flipping through her mail. She hadn't had a chance to read it yet, and even though it was all probably just junk, she still looked through it. Doing so made her feel at least a little like a normal person. She passed the Sears sale flyer, the coupon booklet from a local grocery store, the sweepstakes announcement, but her gaze screeched to a halt on a medium-sized, dark red envelope. Scully brought it to her nose, but smelled nothing. Shrugging, she slipped her fingers under the sealed edge, and opened it smoothly. She pulled out a folded piece of red paper. She kept walking as she unfolded it and began to read its contents. << Red, You must know that I cannot and will not forget you, or let you go. After what you did to me that night, you deserve to be punished, and I will be the one to punish you. If I cannot have you, then no one can. >> Scully breathed in sharply, and slumped against the wall. She knew exactly who this letter was from, and that knowledge scared her to death. The hand holding the letter fell limply to her side, and the paper fell to the floor. Her eyes became glassy, as her thoughts took her far away. * * * Mulder looked up from his desk and to the door. It was slightly ajar, and he swore he had heard footsteps a moment ago. But now the sound had stopped. Raising an eyebrow, he rose and walked to the door, intent on finding out who was out there. He stepped out into the hallway and immediately saw Scully leaning against the wall, staring off into space. "Scully?" He didn't like the way her eyes looked. They looked lifeless, and that scared him more than he could ever say. "Scully? Scully, what's wrong?" he asked, coming up next to her. She blinked twice and breathed deeply, as the realization of Mulder's presence hit home, and said, "Nothing, Mulder." Then she looked down at the mail still in her hands. He exhaled sharply, and decided that, for the moment, he would let this little episode pass. Mulder glanced at the floor, and spotted the red piece of paper. He bent down to pick it up. "Here, Scully. You dropped your-" He froze. The words on the paper made his breath catch. He read the threatening note twice before he looked at her. "What is this, Scully?" he asked, his voice soft, but tight with anger. Scully avoided his gaze because she knew if she looked at him then, she would dissolve into lonely, frightened tears. "It's nothing." She held her hand out to him. "Give it back to me, please." Mulder looked at her for a minute, not understanding her behavior. Then he looked at her hand. It was shaking. Instead of giving her the note, he took her hand in his and led her into the office. Once inside, he locked the door, made her sit down, and then stood before her. As he looked at her, he noticed that all the color was gone from her face, she refused to look at him, and she was visibly shaking. "Do you know who this is from, Scully?" She did not answer him. And he had his answer. She *did* know. "Scully, please tell me," he asked gently. "It's from the man in the bar." And it was then that Mulder noticed that she still had a slight bruise near her mouth, and the faint remains of a cut on her lip were visible. And he wanted to go and find that man and make sure he never hurt her again. "The man that hit you?" She nodded. "All night he kept calling me `Red'. He wouldn't take no for an answer, which is how it all got started." Mulder nodded. "Have there been other letters before this one? Others that I don't know about?" That insinuation gave her pause. He was inferring that she would hide things from him. In all honesty, she probably wouldn't have told him about this letter, if he hadn't found it. She could handle it herself. She knew that. But all she said was, "No. This is the first one." "I'm going to send it to the lab for analysis." Scully leapt to her feet. "Mulder, no!" He stopped, mid-stride. "Why not?" She stepped back from him, and lowered her eyes again. "I don't want this to get around. Mulder, don't you see? It's hard enough to compete in the FBI when you're a women, but when you're `Spooky' Mulder's partner, it's worse. I have to be able to keep up with you, and if people think that I can't even handle a drunk in a bar, maybe they'll start to think that I can't do my job. I'd be humiliated." Mulder turned back to face her, the note still in his hand. He decided that they really needed to talk about that night. Something was going on with her, and he wanted to know what it was. He set the note down, and leaned back against his desk. She had sat back down, had her hands threaded together, and was staring at her desk. She wouldn't look at him. "Scully, we need to talk about that night." "No, we don't." Mulder sighed. "Scully, I want to know what happened." She finally looked up at him, and when she did, there was a strange look in her eyes. It was a mixture of so many emotions, he couldn't decipher what it meant. He felt like her gaze was burning through him. "I wasn't feeling good, so I decided to go to that bar." "Why? You don't like bars. Especially that one. When we went there you said you hated it. Why would you go there?" She closed her eyes. "I just felt like it." he told himself. "At least tell me how you got into a brawl with a two hundred pound man?" Scully shrugged. "He was bothering me all night, so I got up to leave, but he grabbed my arm. I told him to let go. He didn't. So I made him let go." "You *made* him?" Mulder asked, unable to keep a note of amazement and pride from his voice. "I elbowed him in the ribs, and then I punched him. Then I tried to leave again. However, I don't think he was too happy, because he grabbed me again, and punched *me*. That's when I fell." Mulder nodded. "Which is when I showed up." "Yes. That's when my big, strong partner showed up to save me," she said sarcastically. "Well, it looked like you needed it. Besides, Scully, I couldn't help it. I'm used to protecting you. You're my partner, and that's what I do." Scully looked up at him, and all she could see was him sitting with Janette, kissing Janette, and it made her angrier than she could ever have thought. "Well, maybe you should try to curb that habit. You're only my partner from nine to five." The second she said it, she was sorry. Mulder looked like she had punched him in the stomach. "Is that how you really feel?" he asked softly. Scully immediately got to her feet and came close to him. Putting her hand on his shoulder, she said, "I'm sorry, Mulder. I didn't mean that. You're the best partner anyone could have, and I appreciate that you care about me." She paused, considering her words. "I just don't want to get in the way of more important things." Mulder looked at her in amazement. He was truly confused now. What in the world did she think was more important to him than she was? "And what might that be?" "Your girlfriend." he wondered. Not that it mattered. That night at the bar, he had told Janette that it was over. He saw no point in continuing with a farce. "Scully, I don't have a girlfriend. And there's something I want you to know." She looked at him gently. "What?" He took her hand. "There is no one more important to me than you." Scully's eyes could change color in mere moments, and now her eyes had changed from slate to a warm blue. To know that he cared was one thing, but to hear him say it was quite another. It made her feel warm inside. And for a moment, she let herself feel things that she had kept hidden away for so long. She let herself wonder what her life might be like, if those feelings were allowed to be. And she even allowed herself to move closer to him, and pull him to her in a sweet embrace. Mulder was surprised, but he did not resist. He let his arms slip around her waist, and reveled in the feel of their bodies so close. Only in his dreams were they ever this close, and now it was happening for real. It was a little hard to believe. "Thank you, Mulder," she said softly, her breath falling against his cheek. * * * Scully opened the door to her apartment and walked inside, letting her purse drop near the door. She was so tired. Mulder had wanted to come home with her, or for her to come home with him, but she had told him that she could take care of herself, and remembering the night at the bar, he had relented. However, he had made her promise that she would call him as soon as she got home, and when she went to bed. Sighing, she picked up her cordless phone, and headed into the kitchen, intent on making some tea to calm herself. After setting the kettle on to boil, she pressed the TALK button on the phone, and dialed Mulder's cell phone number. She let it ring ten times before disconnecting. she thought. Shrugging, Scully wandered into her bedroom and changed into a pair of soft sweat pants and a black tank top. When she returned to the kitchen, she poured the water into a mug and tried Mulder's number again. No answer. she thought, the idea more than painful for her for two reasons. One, the idea of Mulder with any woman made her so jealous that her head hurt, and two, if he had met someone, he obviously wasn't thinking about her. Could he have forgotten so quickly? Sinking down onto her couch, she flipped on the TV, sipped some of her tea, and let her mind wander. A few minutes later, she tried Mulder again, then, when there was no answer, she called his apartment, praying that some woman wouldn't answer. There was no answer. In desperation, she called their office, but there was no answer there, either. By now, Scully was worried and didn't know what to do. There was really no point in going out to look for him, because he could be anywhere. For all she knew he could already have been arrested for trespassing on some military base that he thought was housing a UFO. Chuckling lightly, more as a way to dispel her uneasiness, she turned her attention back to the TV. Mulder was okay. Nothing had happened to him. She would know if something had happened - she would feel it. Scully refused to believe otherwise. * * * Some time later, Scully woke up to the sounds of an old movie. After stretching, she sat up and ran a hand through her hair. She glanced at the clock -1:21 am - Mulder should be home by now. Reaching for the phone, she decided to call him one last time. Just to make sure... And if a woman answered in a sleepy voice, then Scully would have to deal with that. But right now, her need to know that Mulder was safe superseded any feelings of jealousy she might have. Scully let the phone in his apartment ring at least twenty times - nothing. Next she tried his cell phone again. On the seventh ring he answered. "...Mu-Mulder..." Scully breathed a sigh of relief. "Mulder, thank God! Where have you been?" There was a long pause before he answered, and Scully was sure she could hear another voice. "I was...out, Scully," he said, his voice sounding a bit strange. "Mulder, are you okay?" asked Scully. "Who's with you?" She couldn't believe her boldness, but she had to know. There was another bout of silence, and Scully heard the sound of a car horn off in the distance. "...No one's with me, Scully," he said slowly. "Mulder, are you driving?" she asked, now sure that he was lying to her about something. If he was with a girl why couldn't he just say so? Why all this subterfuge? "Actually, yeah," came his voice, but it sounded different, faraway. If Scully didn't know better she would have said he sounded scared. And as Scully listened, she was sure she heard a muffled voice say something, then a dull thud, and then Mulder groaned. "Mulder, what's the matter?" she asked, her voice high. "What just happened?" "Ah...I hit my hand on something," he replied. "Scully...would you mind if I...came over?" He didn't really sound like he wanted to come over. This surprised Scully only slightly. There had been many nights when Mulder appeared at her door at odd hours, asking for a glass of water, or to use the bathroom, and he would end up staying the night. She smiled. "No, not at all, Mulder. How long until you're here?" "About ten minutes." "Okay, I'll be waiting," she said, her spirits rising. She and Mulder usually had fun when he came over. This would be good for both of them. * * * Fifteen minutes later, a knock came to Scully's door. She had been in the kitchen, getting them some soda, and after wiping her hands on a dishtowel, moved to open the door. When she did, she saw Mulder standing before her, still dressed in the suit he had worn to work. He also looked a bit disheveled, but that was nothing new, really. But it was his eyes that caught Scully's attention. They had that light in them - the way they looked when he and Scully had unearthed some amazing evidence. It was a mixture of fascination, disbelief, and fear. This night, however, Scully could see that fear was the most dominant. "Hi, Mulder," she said happily. He said nothing, and seconds later, he stumbled into her apartment, falling onto her. She supported his weight. "Mulder, what's-" Her sentence broke off as she looked up at the door and saw a figure in the doorway. A figure she knew. "Why hello, my dear Red..." * * * continued in part three... =========================================================================== From: Amy Schatz Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Awakening (3/4) **R** Date: Sun, 30 Jun 1996 14:40:07 -0700 DISCLAIMER: I don't own M&S, but I did create Ryan. **STORY NOTE and WARNING**: !!If graphic descriptions of sexual assault (but not rape) bother you, please avoid this story, or at the very least, be warned.!! I would never want what happens to Scully in this story to really happen to her, GA, or any woman. This is just a story, and I wanted to see how the characters would react under these conditions. This story is rated R for =adult= language, violence, and partial nudity. Consider yourselves warned. It is also a M/S romance. On to part 3 =========================================== The Awakening (3/4) **R** by Amy Schatz "Why hello, my dear Red..." * * * Scully's heart rate went through the ceiling, and she backed away from the man, taking Mulder with her. "What do you want?" she asked, her voice poisonous. Mulder straightened and stepped in front of Scully protectively. "You heard her," he said, in a tone of voice that Scully had never heard him use before. "What do you want?" The man produced a gun that Mulder had known he had, and smiled evilly. "All will be known in time, Agent Mulder," he said, his voice raspy and hard. "But for now, I want you, my dearest Red, to tie up your big hero, here." That said, he pulled some twine out of his pocket and tossed it to Scully. She caught it, out of reflex, but did not move. The man waited a few moments. "Are you deaf, or just stupid?" he asked, pointing the gun at her chest. The second he did, Mulder turned to Scully, a silent plea in his eyes. "Scully, *please* do as he asks. Please." He held his arms out to her. "Oh no," said the man, "*behind* his back, Red." Scully looked at the man and saw that he looked the same as he had that night in the bar. Light brown hair, greyish eyes, a cruel look on his face, and she could smell cheap liquor on his breath. "Look, sir," she said, attempting to diffuse the situation, "is this all because I wouldn't go home with you? I never meant to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry if I did." The man chuckled mirthlessly. "It's a bit too late for sorry's, Red. Now tie him up. I wouldn't want him to get away later." "Later?" Mulder asked, on full alert. "And just what is going to happen later?" A sneer. "Wouldn't *you* like to know..." The way the man said that made Mulder sick to his stomach. Soon, Scully had his arms securely tied behind his back, and stepped beside him. "Okay, now what?" she asked, hoping to get things in motion so she could get to her gun. "Now you tell me where your gun is," he said. Scully tried to keep the disappointment and fear from her voice. "I left it at the office," she lied. The man smiled. "I somehow doubt that an FBI agent would leave her gun at the office. Go and get it." His tone was not one to be fooled with, and Scully knew that. Sighing, she slowly walked to the table beside her couch, opened a drawer, and handed him her gun. He took it and tucked it into his waistband. "Now, go and help Mr. Macho to sit on the chair over there." Scully said nothing. She simply did as she was told, and once Mulder was seated, she was about to stand next to him, when the intruder's sharp voice stopped her. "I don't think so, Red. You come and sit with me on the couch." Scully hesitated, and Mulder tried to break free of his constraints. "Don't you touch her, you bastard!" he yelled, his voice vicious. "Agent Mulder, I'm afraid I will do much more than touch her," said the man, leering as he did. "Red, come on!" he shouted, angry that she wasn't listening to him. Scully slowly walked over to him and sank down beside him on the couch. He reached out to touch her bare shoulder, and Scully cringed. "I suppose I should at least tell you my name, right?" he asked, as if they were all discussing the weather. "Please, you don't have to do this," said Scully, desperate. She could see what was coming, and she didn't know if she could face it. The man ignored her. "My name is Ryan," he said, his voice suddenly soft. When he said that, Scully's head snapped back to look at him. She was silent for many moments as she watched him. "I know you," she said finally, momentarily forgetting that he was pointing a gun at her. Ryan nodded. "Yes you do. But you don't remember how, do you?" he asked sadly, as if she were a stupid child. "Of course you don't. Why would you? You have better things to do than to talk to me, a lowly security guard, or go out with me. Why, you have to be with Agent Mulder, here, and go off together on cases...stay in small motels...maybe you even share rooms...no one would ever know..." That was all Mulder could take. He was on his feet in an instant, but stopped dead when Ryan turned the gun on him. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Agent Mulder," said Ryan, the coldness back in his voice. "Stop this now, Ryan. End this. It's not worth it," said Mulder in that peaceful voice that he used with small children. Ryan shook his head. "Oh, but it is worth it." Then he was silent, as if contemplating something. "You know, Red, I think you're going to have to tie Agent Mulder down to that chair. I just don't think we can trust him to stay still." Scully looked to Mulder and their eyes locked, transmitting paragraphs to one another: We'll get through this. We'll survive. We'll be okay... "Go and tie him down with this," said Ryan, handing her a long piece of thick rope. "And make sure it's secure. Don't make me angry, Red." Scully nodded and walked back over to Mulder. As she brought the rope around him, her hands touched his, and he had never been more scared in all his life. Scared that he would lose her tonight and never feel her skin against his again. Scared that he wouldn't be able to save her from this. "It's all right, Mulder," she murmured, touching his hands again. Soon, her task was done, and Ryan beckoned her back to him. Ryan held out a handkerchief to Scully. "Gag him. I don't want to have to listen to his yelling all night." <...All night...> The words rang through Scully's mind like a funeral bell, but she gave no outward appearance of being flustered. After gagging Mulder, which was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do, Ryan told her to sit down in the middle of the floor. As she did, she heard Mulder straining again, and prayed that he would keep quiet. She was trying to keep him alive, for God's sake! If he did something stupid and got himself killed, she didn't know what she would do. "Now," said Ryan, getting up from the couch to stand before Scully, "you have two choices, Red. Either you make love to me right now, or I kill him." Mulder almost knocked the chair over in his frantic movements to get free. Scully turned her gaze to him, and silently told him to be quiet. He calmed down, and both men waited for her answer. Mulder was so upset, he could barely think. He just couldn't believe this was happening. Not to Scully, not to *his* Scully, *his* Dana... "Ryan, you don't have to do this," she said calmly, hoping she could still talk him out of this. "I never did anything to hurt you until you hurt me." Ryan looked at her contemptibly. "Never, you say? Have you forgotten so quickly? How about all those days I said hello to you, and you never answered me, or even looked at me? Do you know how that feels? To have feelings for someone and not have that person return them? Do you?" By the time Ryan finished, he was shouting. Scully glanced quickly at Mulder, who was breathing heavy, his eyes closed. "I have some idea, Ryan. Believe me, I do." "Well, if you do, why didn't you ever talk to me, get to know me?" "Ryan, just because you have feelings for someone doesn't mean that they have to have them as well. That's something else I've learned." Mulder's eyes snapped open, as he listened to Scully talk. "It hurts like hell, Ryan, but you have to come to accept it. I did." Ryan was quiet for a while, thinking about Scully's words, and for a few moments she thought that she had convinced him to end all of this. But then, in a flash, his eyes were open, and he was right next to her, holding her arm in a painful grip. "Well, maybe this will be exception to the rule," said Ryan, as he nuzzled her neck. Scully winced slightly, but otherwise she did not move. Across the room, Mulder's blood was boiling. He could not believe that this was happening right in front of him, and he was powerless to stop it. He didn't know how Scully was keeping it all together. He could see the fear in her eyes, and knew that she was close to crumbling. He had always thought that Scully was fearless. But now he knew that she was something even better. She was brave. And in order to be brave, you have to feel fear. He marveled at the fact that she had, thus far in their time as partners, been able to hide the fear she felt. Of course, there had been isolated incidents when the fear had come to the surface: the case with Luther Lee Boggs, the Kindred, Donny Pfaster. And of course, Duane Barry. He could still remember the fear in her voice as she called for him that night. The way her voice sounded slightly hollow on the answering machine. And he would never forget when he printed out that picture of her looking up and out of the trunk of that car. She had been gagged, bloody, and afraid. It had been painfully and clearly written on her face. And now as he watched her withstanding the brutal affections of Ryan, it was there again. "What's your answer, Red?" Ryan asked, his mouth still on her neck. Scully wanted to shudder. She felt like her skin was crawling. She wanted to run as far away from Ryan as she could, but she never could have done it. If her only two options were a temporary physical encounter or Mulder's life, there really was no choice. She couldn't go on without Mulder, but she knew she *could* go on with the memories of what Ryan would do to her. She could do anything for Mulder. "There is no choice to make, Ryan. I won't let you kill Mulder." Upon hearing her answer, Mulder stirred again, and she could hear him trying to talk. She ignored him. Ryan smiled. "I thought that's what you would say." Scully nodded, and looked towards Mulder, who had an expression of complete horror on his face. He could not believe that Scully would do this for him - would let another man have her against her will, just to save *his* life. He couldn't let her do this - but how could he stop it? "Ryan, please don't make him watch. Please." But Ryan smiled delightfully. "But that was the whole point to bringing him here, Red! He has to watch. He has to know that you're mine, and not his." Scully shook her head, trying to buy herself as much time as she could - but she also didn't want Mulder to have to witness what was to follow. He would never recover from it. "Ryan, I'm not his. He doesn't love me," she said emphatically, believing what she said. Of course, Mulder cared about her and loved her, but as a friend. He didn't feel the intensity or desire she did when they looked at each other. But it didn't matter to Scully that Mulder didn't love her the way she loved him. She would still do anything for him, anything. Mulder closed his eyes, trying to keep back stinging tears. If only she knew the truth... "I don't know that, Red, so he's going to watch," said Ryan as he advanced on her, pushing her to the floor, and started to kiss her neck again. As he did, Scully turned her face towards Mulder, and her eyes glazed over. Mulder watched her, knowing that this scene would replay in his nightmares for decades to come. He watched as Scully did what many rape victims do, and retreated into herself where she was safe. There was no light in her eyes, and he knew that she probably didn't even know what was happening - if she was lucky. And as he watched Ryan move to kiss her lips roughly, Mulder let the tears fall, and he felt his belly coil into a knot. He should have insisted on coming home with her. He would never forgive himself for this. Ryan's hands, one of which still held the gun, began to roam all over Scully's body, pushing her tank-top up to reveal her stomach, and pushing her sweat pants down so that he could see her underwear. Scully's arms were limp at her sides, and her head lolled towards Mulder. Ryan finally noticed that she was only there in body, and said, "Hey! Come on, Red! You can't just lay there. Look at me." Scully brought her tear-filled eyes to meet his, but said nothing. Ryan looked down at her for a few seconds, and then he brought his hand back, and slapped her viciously across the mouth. "Come on, you bitch!" he screamed. And it was then that Mulder felt his heart breaking. And he felt such murderous desire inside his soul he could taste it. He wanted to kill Ryan a thousand times over, and make him suffer as Scully was now. Scully cried out when he hit her, and immediately tasted blood in her mouth. She blinked a few times to try and bring herself out of the stupor she had instinctively fallen into. If she wanted to escape, she had to have a clear head. Ryan smiled crookedly. "That's better. Now say my name," he said as he bent to kiss her shoulder and neck again. Scully choked on a sob, and said, "...Ry...an....Ryan..." Ryan busied himself with pushing her sweat pants all the way down, and then her tank-top above her chest, revealing her bra. "More..." he murmured. "Say it again..." Tears fell from her eyes - she couldn't stop them - as she began to say his name over and over again, her voice dead. While Ryan molested her, she never once looked at Mulder. She could never take the pain in his eyes, or the pity. How could he ever respect her after this? After he watched her crying, doing whatever Ryan wanted? She would disgust him now...he wouldn't even want to work with her. But she couldn't have made any other choice. She needed Mulder with her, and couldn't have chosen her pride over his life. Ryan reached behind her and unhooked her bra, and in one violent motion, tore if off of her. Immediately, Scully's arms moved to cover herself, and the tears came faster as she realized that this was really going to happen. Ryan was going to rape her, and Mulder was going to have to watch. From his position, Mulder had squeezed his eyes shut when Ryan had pulled Scully's bra off, and now he forced them open, and was sorry he did. Scully was trying to hide her nudity, and tears were running down her cheeks, her eyes shut tightly. Mulder was sure he was going to throw up. "R-Ryan...p-p-please..." she begged between sobs. But Ryan had no intention of stopping now. He looked down at her unmercifully, grabbed her wrists in a harsh grip, and pulled her arms away from her chest. "Come on, Red, be nice to me. I just want to show you how I feel. Don't make me hurt you," he said, the threat clear. "And don't make me hurt your boyfriend over there. We wouldn't want that, would we?" Scully froze. He wouldn't hurt Mulder now, would he? She panicked as she realized that she didn't know, and stole a furtive glance at her partner. She saw that his cheeks were wet and his eyes red. She had to protect him. "...N-No...we wouldn't...want that..." she said finally. Ryan grinned, and it turned into a smile when she lowered her arms to her sides, baring her breasts to his hungry eyes. He leaned down again, and touched one with the fingertips of one hand, the other still holding the gun. After he pulled his shirt and undershirt over his head in one movement, he reached down and crushed her against him, moaning. "Oh, Red...you're so soft..." Mulder had to close his eyes. He couldn't watch any more of this...it would kill him. To know that Scully was going through this just for him was almost enough to make him want to go out and shoot himself. For a long while now he had wondered if she felt the same way about him as he did about her - if she loved him. Now he had his answer. * * * Concluded in part four... =========================================================================== From: Amy Schatz Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: The Awakening (4/4) **R** Date: Sun, 30 Jun 1996 14:43:32 -0700 DISCLAIMER: I don't own M&S, but I did create Ryan. **STORY NOTE and WARNING**: !!If graphic descriptions of sexual assault (but not rape) bother you, please avoid this story, or at the very least, be warned.!! I would never want what happens to Scully in this story to really happen to her, GA, or any woman. This is just a story, and I wanted to see how the characters would react under these conditions. This story is rated R for =adult= language, violence, and partial nudity. Consider yourselves warned. It is also a M/S romance. Here we are at the end. If you made it this far, thanks. :D ================================== The Awakening (4/4) **R** by Amy Schatz For a long while now he had wondered if she felt the same way about him as he did about her - if she loved him. Now he had his answer. * * * Ryan was about to bend down to put his mouth on one of Scully's breasts, when they both heard a crash. Raising his head, Ryan looked over to Mulder, and found that the man had toppled the chair over, and was now on his side. Ryan also saw that Mulder had managed to push the gag down to uncover his mouth. "Let her go, you FUCKING bastard!!" Mulder screamed, his eyes wild with rage. In a second, Ryan was off of Scully and charged over to Mulder. He stood above him, his fists balled at his sides. "I would think you should be quiet, Agent Mulder," he said, trying to keep his anger at bay. But it seemed that Mulder was destined to have a confrontation with Ryan. "You can think?" he asked, only a trace of sarcasm in his voice. Mulder watched as Ryan's eyes changed color from a light grey to dark and malevolent. Without another word, Ryan kicked Mulder viciously in the ribs. When he did, Scully cried out, her arms once again covering herself. "Ryan! NO! Don't hurt him! Please!" She struggled to sit up, and when she did, she saw that Ryan still had her gun tucked into his waistband. She could see it quite clearly, since he wasn't wearing a shirt. Ryan turned to Scully, his eyes savage, and walked back to her. "Did I tell you you could sit up? DID I??" he screamed, and lashed out at her again, hitting her on the side of her face, sending her crashing back to the floor. "SCULLY!" Mulder shouted, fearing that that blow had knocked her unconscious, and possibly given her a concussion. "Scully, are you okay?" he called again, not caring if Ryan killed him or not. This couldn't go on. Mulder would rather die than have Scully go through this. For a few moments, both men were quiet as they watched Scully's still form. Ryan stood above her, his gun hanging limply at his side, and Mulder lay on the floor, panting, his heart beating wildly. "Come on, Scully..." Mulder murmured, knowing that somewhere deep inside of her, she could hear him. "Don't leave me, Scully." But then he stopped. Maybe it was better if she stayed unconscious. That way she wouldn't know what Ryan would do, and she wouldn't have the memories... However, Scully began to stir and when she did, Ryan immediately went to her, after replacing Mulder's gag, and cradled her in a way that someone who loved her might have. "Wake up, Red," he mumbled. "Time to get back to what we were doing..." Scully nodded, a small smile crossing her face. She only prayed that her acting abilities were up to the job. She wiped at the tears on her face, and the blood on her lip. "O-Okay...Ryan..." she said. Mulder looked at Scully in shock, his features slack. He couldn't understand this. Scully was a fighter - she never gave in, except to him once in a while. But in life and death things, Scully never gave up, and he couldn't believe she would start now. So, he thought, she must be acting in this way for a reason. Mulder decided that she must have a plan. * * * Ryan was kissing her again, running his hands all over her body, and Scully was simply withstanding it all. Waiting for her chance to stop this nightmare. Ryan slipped his hands under back to pull her close, and when he did, Scully moved to put her arms around his midsection, stroking softly. Mulder closed his eyes again, unable to watch. And the second he did, he heard a sound, like a scuffling and a grunt. In a flash, his eyes flew open and what he saw before him made his blood run cold. Scully and Ryan were struggling for something, and Mulder could see the fear in Scully's eyes, and he could tell that she was holding something in her right hand. "Get away from me, Ryan!" Scully said, in a loud, firm voice. Ryan did not move, instead he re-doubled his efforts and slapped Scully across the face, hard. "Drop it!" he screamed. But Scully was operating on instinct and adrenaline, and nothing Ryan could do would stop her now. Ryan's anger exploded and he reached down to her hands, grabbing her wrists in a vice-like grip that grew stronger every second. "Ryan, I'll do it!" she shouted, and Ryan paused. "You won't. You don't have the guts," he said, sneering. And then the apartment resounded with a loud click. In seconds, Ryan had scrambled away from Scully, and soon stood above Mulder, pointing a gun at his head. Mulder looked from Ryan to Scully, who was now sitting up, and saw that she, too, was holding a gun, and it was cocked. And he saw death in her eyes... "Drop the gun or I shoot loverboy," Ryan threatened. When Ryan said that, something inside of Scully snapped, and she no longer cared that she was nearly naked, or that she had been humiliated in front of Mulder, or that she had been violated. All she cared about was the fact that this man had the nerve to come into her home and threaten her life and Mulder's. Scully decided that he was not going to get away with it. "You are such a coward, do you know that, Ryan? The best you can do is to threaten a man who is tied and gagged? It's sad." "I am not a coward!" said Ryan, the anger in his eyes building. Scully smirked. "Really? Prove it, then. On the count of three we both fire. Are you up to it?" Ryan looked at her confidently. "Fine with me. One." Scully took a deep breath, and steadied her gun. She knew that in these next few moments she could die, and Mulder would never know how she felt about him. She decided then, that if she got out of this alive, she would not hesitate any longer. She would tell Mulder the first chance she got. She would never again waste any time she had with him. She would treasure every second of it. "Two," she said softly. But before she even closed her mouth, Ryan was charging her. She saw him coming, somehow got to her feet, and headed for her bedroom. Ryan followed her, and tackled her in the doorway. They fell to the ground hard, and Mulder winced, asking God, talking to Him for the first time in a long time, and asking Him to keep Scully safe. Scully kicked and screamed, and miraculously got in a good blow, and kicked Ryan in the face, making him relinquish his hold on her. Then, without a look back, she dashed into her bedroom. Ryan was not far behind. * * * Mulder could not see what was happening, and it was driving his heart rate higher and higher. He could only hear the sounds of the life and death struggle going on in the bedroom. He could only pray that he would see Scully again. Suddenly, Mulder heard a terrible crash, like the sound of glass breaking, and then he heard Scully cry out in pain. He held his breath as he waited to see what would happen. Would he hear a shot and then Scully would stumble out of the room? Or would he hear a shot, Ryan would walk out, and then shoot him? And then Mulder jumped as he heard something hit the wall of Scully's bedroom, and slide down to the floor. Mulder's heart constricted painfully. Then Ryan burst from the bedroom, panting, holding his gun at his side. When he saw Mulder, his eyes narrowed. "Well, well, well," he breathed, "look who we have here. Red's loverboy - the big macho man who saved her from little old me at the bar that night. You know, it's too bad Red is...indisposed at the moment. I would have liked her to see me kill you." That said, he raised the gun and pointed it straight at Mulder's chest. "What the hell did you do to her?" asked Mulder, seething. This man *would* die - of that Mulder was sure. Ryan shrugged. "Let's just say that she had an unfortunate and hasty meeting with the mirror and the wall. Now, let's get this done with so she and I can get back to our little rendezvous." Mulder knew that he had to stall. He had to give Scully enough time to recover from whatever it was that Ryan had done to her. He probably pushed her into the mirror, Mulder thought. He only hoped that her injuries weren't so severe that she couldn't wake up. Mulder needed her now more than ever, and that need angered him. Everything that had happened this night was because of Mulder's need for Scully's help, or her protection. What had he given her in return? Nothing. He had never told her what she meant to him - that he couldn't live without her, that he loved her. He had never told her anything, never given her what she really wanted: a house, a family, a husband. And even though she already had it, he never told her that he had given her his heart. No, the only thing he could give her now was time. * * * "Come on, Ryan, you don't really want to kill me," said Mulder, his calm tone in place again. Ryan nodded and smiled in that scary way that insane people do. "Of course I do, Agent Mulder." Mulder shuddered. "Why?" He knew he wasn't doing good enough. He wasn't changing Ryan's mind. But Mulder was so scared he couldn't think of anything smart to say. He was scared that he would die and leave Scully all alone with this maniac. Ryan chuckled evilly, and cocked the gun. "Because, Agent Mulder, if you are dead, I will have Red all to myself." Mulder bristled at the image that Ryan's words brought to mind, and bit down on his rage. "But Ryan, I don't feel that way about Scully. So killing me won't really help you." Ryan chuckled again. "Oh stop it, loverboy. It's all on your face and in your eyes, in case you're wondering. If *I* can see it, don't you think she can? But that doesn't matter now, because you'll soon be dead, and she'll have me." Mulder swallowed dryly. He didn't know what else to say. Ryan shook his head, as if he heard Mulder's thoughts and knew that they were useless. He raised the gun again - he had let it fall during his talk with Mulder - and pointed it once again at his chest. "Goodbye, Agent Mulder." Mulder closed his eyes, and tensed waiting for the sound of the gun, the pain of the bullet as it tore through him. And then he heard it. The sizzle of a bullet as it rocketed out of the gun's chamber. And he smelled it. The slight smell of smoke from the barrel of the gun. Mulder squeezed his eyes shut tighter, and he jerked back, thinking that the bullet must have hit him by now. He waited for the fiery pain to engulf him, for the blackness to press in as he fell into it, spiraled downwards into nothingness, and away from Scully. But it never came. Mulder was silent and still for a few moments as his brain processed this information. He wasn't in pain. He didn't feel the bullet ripping through him. He didn't feel hot, sticky blood dripping down his shirt, down his skin. He hadn't been shot. But a gun had been fired, he knew that. It was an unmistakable sound. Could Ryan have missed? He didn't think so - the range was too close. Mulder took a deep breath and forced his eyes open for what seemed the hundredth time that night, dreading what he might see. What he saw rocked him to his core. Scully stood before him, naked down to the waist, holding a gun in front of her, tears streaming down her face, and shaking as if she were standing in a cold, November rain. Mulder was in such shock that it took him a few moments for his gaze to slide towards the floor. There, lying in a pool of his own blood, was Ryan, a gunshot wound in his back, going through to his heart. Mulder's eyes only stayed on Ryan's body for a moment. Instantly it went back to Scully. Her lip was swollen, a thin stream of dried blood on her chin. The left side of her face was bruised and there was a nasty cut on her temple. Mulder wanted to talk, to whisper calming things to her, but the gag was still in place. He watched as she turned and placed her gun on the floor, then reached for Ryan's, and pushed them both away, so they slid back into her bedroom. While she was turned, Mulder saw that there was a nasty bruise on her back, and that the back of her head was wet with blood. Mulder's arms ached to hold her, his body ached to feel hers against his, and his mouth ached to tell her how he felt. To tell her the truth that this night had awakened in him - the truth he had always known, but had been to scared to say. This night, and what Scully had done for him - and had almost done for him - had chased all his fears away. Mulder watched as Scully turned back to him, not bothering to hide her nudity - it was of no consequence any longer - and started to move towards him. As she came closer, Mulder could hear her crying, could see the goosebumps on her arms. She knelt down beside him, and untied his hands carefully, knowing that they would be sore and chaffed. Mulder couldn't believe that after all she had been through, she was still worried about his discomfort. Then, after she had helped him to sit, she gently undid the knot of the gag, slipping it off of his neck. For a few seconds they both sat there looking at each other, silence ruling the apartment, and then as if they had never been apart, they were in each other's arms. Scully tried to keep the sobs at bay, but she failed miserably. It just felt too good to be in Mulder's arms, too safe. She put her head on his shoulder, wrapped her arms around him, and let the tears come. She felt his arms slip around her, streaking across her bare skin, as he pulled her closer to him. It felt like he wanted to pull her inside of him - that only there would she be safe. "...I thought...I had lost...you..." she murmured between sobs, her right hand stroking his hair, his cheek. "Shouldn't that be my line?" he asked, his voice strangled, and Scully realized that he was crying too. "Scully, why did you do it? Why? I'm not worth it." She somehow got her tears under control - at least for the moment - and pulled away to look at him. She had a surprised expression on her face, and Mulder feared that she was angry at him, that she would push him away. "Mulder, I'd do anything for you. I would die for you." There was a tone of reverence in her voice that gave Mulder pause, and he realized that what she had said had been very hard for her, but that it was the absolute truth. "But, Scully-" Her fingers on his lips stopped him. "Shah...there's something I have to tell you. I can't let another week, another day, or even another minute go by without telling you." Mulder was mesmerized by her; by her strength, her courage, the radiance she put forth. Even after all that had happened, her blue eyes were bright with her inner light. He could tell that whatever it was she had to say, it was very important. "What is it?" And then a beautiful smile broke across her face, and she was once again stroking his hair. "I love you...I love you...I love you..." Mulder was silent for a few seconds, thinking he had perhaps heard wrong, but then he remembered all that she had done for him this night and even before. All the times she had risked her career and her life for him. Following him to some god-awful place, and usually ending up saving his life. And tonight, she had been willing to...to...all for him. And perhaps he had always known that it was because she loved him. Mulder gently touched her shoulder, her collarbone, and then her cheek. "I think I've been waiting my whole life for you to say that. I love *you*. I think I always have, even before we met." She smiled again, and pulled him close. "I think there's something we can learn from this night, Mulder." "What's that?" he asked, feeling as though he never again wanted her to leave his embrace. "Never to waste any time," she said softly. "We don't know what will happen tomorrow, so we have to make now special and treasure it." Mulder nodded. "I think you're right." They were silent again, simply loving the feel of being so close, of this quiet time together. They both knew that soon they would have to call the police, and the endless hours of forms, questions, retelling the story, and being apart would ensue. It might be a whole day before they were done and could be together again. "I hope you know this means you'll never get rid of me," said Mulder, some lightness in his voice. Scully gently pressed her lips to his, and they felt something akin to an electric charge pass between them. "Who said I wanted to?" Mulder smiled and held her tighter, loving the feel of her against him. Scully closed her eyes, never feeling safer in all her life; knowing that as long as he was with her, holding her, loving her, she could do anything, go through anything. They didn't let each other go for a long time. THE END