From Glm777@aol.com Mon Nov 18 19:49:17 1996 Rating: PG Classification:V, A Disclaimer: The characters involved belong to Chris Carter ,Fox, and Ten Thirteen Productions.No infringement is intended Summary: When personal tragedy befalls Scully, Mulder's protective instincts are thrown into overdrive. The first in the 3 part series titled "Unchecked Emotions". Please note: Although the basis of the story is a sexual assault, it is not at all graphic in nature. No MSR per say - only a deep and abiding friendship that may someday turn into a relationship that will bring joy into the hearts of all relationshippers! Those of you who do not like to see our favorite heroine in a weak and vulnerable position - STOP HERE! Special thanks to the two Stephs for giving me the encouragement to post this and for listening to my nerotic whining about it :D Please do not distribute without my permission. Thank you :) All comments are welcome (especially the complimentary ones!). Send to GLM777@aol.com ****************************************************************************** * "Unchecked Emotions 1 - Violation" by G.L. Medeiros The phone rang, jarring Mulder out of a deep sleep. He reached for it, knocking over a glass in the process. He cursed and finally grabbed the receiver. "Hello." he mumbled groggily. The sound of the voice on the other end of the line ,however, made him shake his head clear and sit up on the edge of the bed. "Agent Mulder? Skinner. I think you'd better get to Agent Scully's place -immediately." Mulder's heart jumped into his throat. "Is she allright?" he asked, bracing himself for the answer he was afraid to hear "There's been an - um...incident." " IS SHE ALL RIGHT!?" Skinner sighed a heavy sigh." Fox- it seems she was attacked in her apartment this evening. She's not talking but she doesn't look good. She's asking for you - won't leave to go to the hospital and won't talk to any of the other agents." "I'm on my way - tell her I"ll be right there" In less than 20 minutes Mulder was pulling up to the beautiful old brownstone that Scully called home. He remembered when she first looked at the apartment, her blue eyes dreamy and excited. He took a calming breath and stepped out of the car.There were 2 police cars in front of the building and 3 unmarked vehicles that Mulder spotted immediately. He took the stairs 2 at a time to the 4th floor, to Scully's apartment. The door was open and he could hear someone talking in low tones He pushed the door open further and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Scully sitting in the large rocking chair that had been his housewarming gift to her. Her face was down amd she rocked furiously, her legs crossed at the knee, arms folded across her chest. A quick glance around the apartment showed him that there had been a struggle - furniture had been overturned and there was broken glass on the floor. Skinner was there,standing beside Scully, one hand on his hip and the other massaging the nape of his neck. There were several other agents that Mulder recognized standing around her also. One of the agents , Mulder recognized him from the forensic department, reached out a hand toward Scully. Mulder's heart sank as Scully recoiled from him , hands raised in a defensive position. Mulder made his way to the front of the chair and crouched down in front of it. "Scully?" he said softly. Very slowly he put a hand under her chin and lifted her face toward him. He caught his breath as he saw the bruises along her cheekbone and the laceration across her left temple.Her upper lip was swollen and traces of dried blood dotted her hairline. Rage welled up inside him as he took in the extent of her injuries. "My God." he breathed. She raised tear filled eyes up to him. Without turning, he said quietly to the other agents, " Leave me alone with her." The agents filed out into the outer hall - looking for something, anything that could lead them to the person that did this to one of their own.They left the door open. Inside, Mulder framed Scully's face in his hands, watching the tears roll down her face. He knew Scully better than anyone and he could tell she was at her breaking point. "Tell me who did this to you." "I can't "she whispered through her tears. She was shaking. She began to weep silently and Mulder's heart was breaking as he pulled her gently into the circle of his arms. "Ssshhh, it's ok - I"m right here, I'm right here." He continued to hold her, rocking awkwardly with the motion of the chair. In the hallway , many of the agents had to swallow past the lump in their throats. They all admired and liked Agent Scully and this show of gentlness from "Spooky" Mulder made them painfully aware of the bond that formed between partners - a bond like no other. Gently releasing Scully but taking her hands in his, Mulder said quietly, " Scully, you need to talk to me then we need to get you to the hospital . Who did this to you?" Taking a deep breath to gain some sort of control over her emotions , Scully said just as quietly, "I can't , Mulder. Please don't make me say something we'll both regret." "Scully, you can't just pretend this didn't happen - this animal brutalized you and did God knows what else and you just want to forget it ever happened?" He was trying to keep his voice gentle but it was difficult - he wanted to kill the son of a bitch ..Mulder was afraid that he knew what else the bastard had done but he wasn't ready to hear that yet - and he didn't think Scully was ready to say it. Once again he lifted her chin with his fingers and looking deeply into her eyes, saw the explaination that he had been looking for. " He threatened you." It was a statement not a question. "He said that if you tell anyone what happened , he'd come back. Am I right?" ` Scully shook her head slighly and whispered, "Mulder please - I don't want anyone to get hurt". Suddenly Mulder realized what she was talking about. "He didn't threaten you,did he? He threatened to hurt me if you told, right?" Scully began to cry again but Mulder persisted - he had to get a name from her. "Scully, you have to tell me - how can I protect you or myself if I don't know who the enemy is?" He could see the war raging within Scully.She wanted to tell him but she was scared to death. For him. "Tell me." "Harrison." she whispered so softly that he had to lean closer to hear her. "Harrison?" Paul Harrison had been Mulder's partner for a short time, before the X-files opened, and they had never been friends. In fact, due to Mulder's reports of unstable, dangerous behavior out on the field, Harrison had been removed from active field duty and had just recently been assigned back to field work. He had never forgiven Mulder. Mulder began to get a sick feeling in his stomach." "What was he doing here Scully?" " He said he needed to go over the case notes on the Alexander murder, you know - the autopsy I consulted on for the VCS, before he could file his report - he said that he was missing some of his notes and asked if he could stop by and use my taped ones." "Of course you had no reason to be wary of him - he's never bothered you before ,has he?" "No" she said softly "I didn't even notice that he was acting strangely untill it was too late - before I knew it he was grabbing me ..and hitting..." her voice broke and Mulder cupped her cheek with his hand - silently urging her to get it out in the open. " I couldn't even get my gun." "He raped you?" the words stuck in his throat but he knew she had to say it - and he had to hear it. "Yes" she choked and began to sob, racking, heartbreaking sobs. Cleansing sobs that tore Mulders heart into shreds and made him furious at the same time.He could see the other agents at the door - listening, looking uncomfortable. Rubbing a hand across his eyes, he turned to AD Skinner and said quietly, "Harrison". The agents blanched One of their own men did this? At Mulder's nod , Skinner barked into his shortwave "I want Paul Harrison brought in ASAP!" At this, Scully looked at Mulder with panic in her eyes." Mulder, no, he'll kill you. He told me if anyone found out he'd go after you!" " Don't worry about me Scully, I'll take care of Harrison. Right now we need to get you to a hospital. " Scully protested but Mulder 's gentle comment ," Scully, please. I need to know that you're allright.", brought a slight nod from Scully. She looked and sounded like a lost little girl when she asked softly, " You won't leave me alone?" " I promise I won't." Mulder heard the request for a promise that didn't only include the trip to the hospital. Scully was asking for reassurance that Mulder would be careful and not let Harrison at him. Mulder hoped it was a promise he could keep. Mulder stood outside the door of the examination room, waiting impatiently, alone. Most of the other agents, including Skinner, had wanted to come to the hospital as well but Mulder asked that they allow Scully some time to come to terms with what had happened. He reminded them that the best way to help Scully now was to find Harrison. She had been in there for almost an hour now. He had been willing to go in with her, mindful of the promise he had made her, but the nurse had forced him to wait here, cooling his heels and getting jumpier by the minute. He could still see in his mind, the difficulty she had had getting up out of the chair and walking to the stretcher. He had wanted to kill Harrison at that moment. Hell, he still wanted to kill the bastard. "If I don't hear anything within the next 5 minutes, I'm going right in there - rules or no rules." he thought to himself. Just as he finished the thought a nurse came out from behind the door. "Agent Mulder?" "Yeah - how is she?" "Why don't you come in - the doctor will speak to you." Mulder followed the nurse in to a small room, empty at the moment except for the blaring TV. Suddenly Mulder was afraid. This was the family room - the room where doctors told families that their loved ones were gone. He grabbed the nurse's arm as she walked out the door. "Is she okay?" he asked. The nurse could see the panic in his eyes and thought wistfully," to have someone care so deeply about you". She smiled reassuringly at him. "She's going to be fine. They're giving her some last minute instructions on caring for the sutures." Mulder smiled. " Did she tell you that she's an MD?" "Oh - no she didn't. Not that it matters - we still have to fill out the forms." She smiled at Mulder. Just then the doctor walked in. "Agent Mulder?" the good doctor was an older gentleman with a kindly face and a bushy brow. Mulder raised a silent "thank you" that Scully hadn't been examined by some young hotshot. "Will she be ok?" "Physically, she'll be fine, but it'll take a while" he paused. "The man, and I use the term loosely, who did this to her was an animal. In addition to her bruises and lacerations, she also has 3 fractured ribs that appear to be the result of being kicked , and a sprained wrist." He paused once more. " Agent Mulder, you are aware of the total extent of her injuries, are you not?" Mulder understood all that the doctor had said - and had not said. He could only nod. "Suffice to say that she'll be very sore for quite some time.It appears that she put up a good fight though. She had blood and traces of skin under her fingernails. I offered to have someone from the rape crisis center speak to her but she refused. I also gave her medication to prevent an unwanted pregnancy." Mulder gulped - he hadn't even thought of that. " She's a brave young woman, and a strong one too from what I've seen tonight. But she's going to need some support and some TLC over the next few weeks- I assume that you'll be staying with her for the next few days?" Mulder hadn't gotten around to even thinking about that yet but he knew that Scully wouldn't be out of his sight for the next few days if he could help it. He nodded at the doctor as Scully was wheeled in by the nurse. "I'll walk now." she said with a slight smile. Only Mulder could see the anguish in her eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked solicitously. She nodded and said politely to the doctor, "Thank you, Doctor Corey." "Take care" the doctor replied. "If you need anything, just let me know." Before leaving , he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and discreetly handed it to Mulder along with some of the other paperwork the nurse had given him. He quickly looked down at the paper and saw that it was a prescription for a sleeping pill. Mulder surmised that when offered, Scully flatly refused to consider it - she didn't like to take drugs of any kind. He looked over at Scully who was leaning against the wall. She looked exhausted, ready to drop. Mulder considered calling the nurse back in with the wheelchair but knew that Scully would object - she hated to show weakness of any kind. Mulder supposed that came from being a woman in a predominantly male - oriented career. When she had time to think about it, she would hate the fact that the other agents saw her lose control back at the apartment. Placing the paperwork in his pocket, Mulder walked over to Scully and pulled her into his arms. He hugged her gently but firmly then released her and slipped an arm around her waist. She slipped her arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "Are you up to the walk to the car or do you want me to go get it and bring it around?" "I'll walk ," she said quietly. "I can use some fresh air." Slowly they walked out of the building and through the parking lot. As he got Scully settled into the car, Mulder thought of the report waitlng to be filed and of the other agents, waiting to hear from him. As they drove down the highway , Scully fell asleep, her head resting against the window, her eyelashes making shadows upon her cheeks. Mulder called headquarters on his cellular phone. Speaking quietly to A.D. Skinner, he briefed him on the incident and on Scully's condition. "Have they found him yet?" he asked. " Not yet." replied Skinner "When they do - he's mine." He hung up the phone. ****************************************************************************** ******************** Stay tuned for part 2 - "Unchecked Emotions 2 - Resolution" From Glm777@aol.com Mon Nov 18 19:51:20 1996 Rating: PG Disclaimer: These characters belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Fox. No infringment is intended Classification: S,A, UST Summary: This story is the sequel to my first fanfic "Violation." It deals with the aftermath of Scully's assault . If you haven't read "Violation" this may not make any sense. BTW - there is a third part to this series - I have posted all three parts to this story under the series title "Unchecked Emotions" Personal note: My undying gratitude to all those folks who complimented me about "Violation" The response was overwhelming!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Unchecked Emotions 2 - Resolution" by G.L. Medeiros She was late. Her first day back on the job since that night and she was late. Fox Mulder was worried. Why didn't she call? Mulder sat back at his desk, unable to forget that night, the night Dana Scully, his partner and more, had been raped and beaten by another FBI agent. He let the memories wash over him. ****************************************************************************** ******************** Mulder awakened with a start. For a moment he was disoriented but then immediately remembered where he was and why he was there. He quickly stood and moved quietly toward Scully's bedroom. It was empty. "Scully?" he called quietly, heading toward the bathroom to see if she was there. "In here, Mulder." came the quiet reply, the voice coming from the kitchen. Mulder entered and found Scully sitting at the kitchen table. The lights were off and Scully's head rested tiredly on the table. Mulder moved to crouch beside her. "Hey" he whispered. "What are you doing sitting here in the middle of the night with the lights off?" Scully lifted her head and gave him a sad smile. "I had another nightmare and just couldn't stay in bed - I was feeling...I don't know...claustrophobic, I guess." "I didn't even hear you this time - why didn't you wake me up?" "Mulder - I've already woken you up three times tonight. You need to get some sleep. I'll be fine - I'm just going to sleep right here." Mulder sighed. She had awakened three times before this, screaming with her nightmare - reliving the previous evening. Each time he had gone to her and held her - rocking her, saying senseless, soothing things to her - anything to stop her from crying. Finally she'd fallen back to sleep and Mulder returned to her couch, waiting for the next time. Not knowing what else to do, Mulder said quitely, "OK Scully, I'll sit here with you for a while, all right?" "Mulder, I really think I need to be alone right now, OK? Please don't be offended but I need to think, I need to know for myself that I can actually spend 5 minutes alone without crying, dreaming or anything else -I need to get some perspective on all that's happened to me." Mulder nodded slowly. Although he didn't really think that 4 am was the best time for soul searching, especially when she had gotten so little sleep, he understood her need to regain some of her dearly coveted control. "OK, but promise me you'll wake me if you need me?" "Scout's honor." Scully replied with a tiny smile. Mulder smiled back and after placing a hand gently on the top of her head, he returned to his place on the couch. Maybe I should have taken her back to my place after the hospital, he mused. He couldn't sleep. He listened to Scully move quietly around the kitchen - probably making tea. He heard the scrape of the chair as she sat at the table then he listened to the silence for what seemed like an eternity. Maybe she had fallen asleep at the table, he thought. Just as he made his decision to get up and check on her, a sillouette appeared at the doorway to the living room. Mulder sat up. "Are you OK?" he asked. It seemed to him that those three words were the basis for all conversation they had had within the past 24 hours. Scully shook her head and he noticed the tears running down her cheeks. If you really can die from a broken heart, he thought sadly, I'm a dead man. He felt like crying himself. "Come here" he whispered, holding out his arms. Scully walked slowly over to him and sat beside him an the couch. "I can't sleep" she sobbed quietly. "I feel like I'm never going to be the same, that I'm never going to get over this." She rested her cheek against Mulder's chest, her tears soaking through his T-shirt. "Come on. " Mulder said, shifting himself and Scully so they lay spoon fashion on the large couch. Scully gratefully lay her head on the pillow beside Mulder's and settled against him. Mulder slipped his arm around her waist and held her securely. "Go to sleep now." he murmered against her shining hair, "I promise I won't let anyone hurt you." Scully seemed to be comforted by his embrace and he felt her relax in his arms. Soon they were both asleep. The following morning, Mulder was awakened by the persistant ringing of the doorbell. Moving carefully so as not to disturb Scully, he removed his arm from beneath her head and his arm from around her waist. Apparently they had both slept soundly - they were in the same postion they had fallen asleep in. Mulder quickly made his way to the door and groaned as he looked through the security hole. Skinner. Mulder opened the door. "Agent Mulder." Skinner said cordially. If he was surprised to find Mulder there, dressed in sweats and a T shirt, looking as if he had just gotten out of bed, he hid it well. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop and see if Agent Scully needed anything." Skinner looked into the apartment, his eyes coming to rest on Scully, still sleeping soundly on the couch. There was evidence of another head on the pillow and Scully was sleeping right on the edge of the couch - definitely enough room for someone to have been sleeping behind her . Feeling like a a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Mulder felt compelled to explain. He ran a hand through his sleep-tousled hair. "She kept waking up with nightmares - after the first few, it was easier to just put her on the couch with me." Damn - it sounded defensive even to him. He looked AD Skinner directly in the eye - almost daring him to comment. "Agent Mulder - you don't need to explain your actions to me. I am aware that you and Agent Scully have a ..unique...relationship. I'm glad you were able to stay with her." "Have they found him yet?" Mulder asked. "Not yet." Skinner replied. "but they will." Skinner then discussed with Mulder the terms of the agents leave of absence then left to go to the office. Mulder breathed a sigh of relief and headed into the shower before Scully woke up. ****************************************************************************** ******************** Mulder was jolted out of his reverie by the ringing of the telephone. He picked it up on the second ring. It was Scully "Mulder - it's me. " she stated unnecessarily. "Scully, are you Ok ?" "I'm fine. My session at the crisis center went over a little and when I got in the phone was ringing - my mom calling to check up on me. Then Mellissa called...anyway i just wanted to let you know that I'm going out the door right now. I didn't want you to worry ." "I wasn't worried." Mulder replied automatically. , he berated himself. "Yeah, right Mulder - neither was my mother!" He could hear the smile in her voice. "See you in bit!". They hung up. Mulder smiled as he thought of Maggie Scully's presence in his life. She had taken him under her wing and treated him as if he were a part of her family. He would never be able to find the words to tell her how much that meant to him. Again, Mulder was overtaken by memories. ****************************************************************************** ******************** On the day after Scully's attack, Mrs. Scully and Melissa arrived. They had been away on vacation when Mulder had called Mrs. Scully and she had spent the last day trying to arrange a flight off of the island. Melissa seemed surprised to find Mulder comfortably ensconced in her sister's living room but Maggie Scully was not. She had spoken to Fox on the phone the night of the assault and once more since then. She had only spoken to Dana briefly, once. The other times she had called, Dana had been asleep and she hadn't wanted to wake her. " Hello, Fox." Maggie smiled and hugged him tightly, silently thanking him for all he had done. Mulder returned the hug, probably more intensely than he should have, but suddenly faced with the woman who had been more of a mother to him than his own mother had ever been was almost too much - he seemed to be on an emotional rollercoaster these days. He cleared his throat and said to Melissa, " Hi Missy - long time no see." Melissa Scully smiled and also hugged him. Seeing Fox Mulder in jeans and a tee shirt, looking vulnerable and almost teary-eyed made Melissa's heart skip a beat - she hoped her sister would wake up soon and realize that Mulder was the perfect man for her. But for right now she was glad that Mulder was Dana's best friend - Melissa knew what they meant to each other and right now Dana needed him. "Where is she" asked Maggie , going to the closet to hang up their coats. "Sleeping." replied Mulder, lifting the bags and walking into the spare room. "Is that normal, for her to be sleeping all the time?" Melissa asked with a frown. "According to the counselors at the rape crisis center, it is." Mulder replied. "She went to the center?" Melissa asked in amazement. She never would have believed that her always-in-control-never-needing-help-from-anyone-thank-you-very- much sister would ever agree to counselling. "Ummm... well, no, she hasn't been but...ummmm, I called them." He grinned sheepishly. "I was worried - I wanted to know what I should be looking for - what was normal and what wasn't. So I called ." He avaoided their eyes. The Scully women looked at one another in amazement "Fox.." Maggie began. She cleared her throat of unshed tears and said softly,"You are the best friend I could ever hope for my Dana to have. I hope you realize how much a part of this family you have become." Feeling close to tears for the second time in a half hour, Mulder said brightly, "How about tea and then I think we can wake Dana up - I know she's been looking forward to seeing you both." They all reurned to the kitchen Halfway through the tea and the cookies that Maggie had brought, Dana awakened and walked into the kitchen. Mulder was the first to see her. He watched as she took in the sight of Mulder and her mother and sister having tea and cookies in her kithcen and smiled slightly. Maggie turned toward Fox's gaze and saw her daughter for the first time since the attack. Mulder looked at Scully, trying to see her as her mother did. Her facial injuries looked a little better but her lip remained swollen and no amount of makeup could hide the bruising along her chin and cheek. There were dark circles under her eyes but the thing that stood out most in Mulder's mind was the look in her eyes - sadness and vulnerability. He glanced at Melissa and saw that she could see it as well. Maggie stood and walked to her daughter. Mulder could see Scully's tears starting. "Oh Dana.." Maggie whispered, her voice, her heart, breaking. As she pulled her youngest daughter into her arms, Melissa stood and embraced both womwen, crying also. Mulder quietly slipped out of the room to pack his bag. Scully was in good hands. She needed to spend some time with her family and he needed to get some work done - Harrison still had not yet been found. ****************************************************************************** ******************** Again Mulder was interrupted from his thoughts, this time by the door to his office being opened. Scully peeked her head in and said dryly, "Is it safe to come in, Mulder? I mean, I haven't been here to clean up after you in a few weeks..." She was smiling. "Take your chances, Agent Scully." He smiled in return. It was good to see her smile again. She entered the room and there was an awkward silence. They had spoken on the phone every day but this was the first time in over a week that they had actually seen one another. Mulder broke the silence. "Welcome back,Scully. I've missed you." "Thanks, Mulder. I - I've missed you too.'" She couldn't quite meet his eyes. She seemed shy, almost embarrassed. Mulder thoiught, "Hey" he said softly, "look at me,Dana. We've been through too much together to be acting shy around one another. I know how you hate to relinquish control over your emotions but these past few weeks you needed me to be there for you - and I needed to be there. You've been there for me a number of times, this was my chance to say thank you. OK?" Scully looked up into his soft hazel eyes. "OK." she whispered and smiled at him, a bright beautiful smile. Two hours later, Scully felt as if she had never been away as she plugged her way through incomplete reports and other necessary paperwork. She could feel Mulder's eyes on her often throughout the day but several times she found herself becoming edgy as memories of that night intruded into her daily musings. She tried hard to push thoses fears away. "You OK Scully?" Mulder asked. She was proud of him - he had only asked her about 6 times since 10am - it was now 2:30. "I'm fine, Mulder" she replied as she had each and every time before. "Just checking." He said with a grin - it was almost becoming a joke between them. Scully smiled and shook her head. All in all the day was going well, for both of them. Then the phone rang. "Sir, you wanted to see me alone?" Mulder spoke to AD Skinner. Skinner had asked to see him alone and confidentially. That in and of itself was a difficult task as Scully looked at him questioningly as he got up from his desk. Mulder made up some excuse about going down to the document room for some info that he had been waiting for on a previous case. Scully nodded and asked him to stop by the lab and pick up some results she was waiting for. "Agent Mulder - they've found him." Mulder felt as if he had taken a sucker punch to his gut. He had been dreading and waiting for this moment since the attack on Scully. "Where?" he asked, taking a deep breath and running his hand through his hair. "He tried to get out of the country and was apprehended at the airport." "Did he admit to it?" "He admits to going to Agent Scully's apartment uninvited, but insists that she was a willing participant." "Bullshit! If that were the case, why the hell did he have to beat her half to death? Or maybe her injuries were caused in the heat of passion!" he respopnded sarcastically, angrily. "Fox... I know, and you know, and every other agent there that night knows that this was not a consenting sexual liason. But our job now is prove that. Until then, we must consider him innocent untill proven guilty - or untill he confesses. He's being held in the interrogation room downstairs - you may join us if you like but I will warn you Agent Mulder - do not jeapordize the outcome of this investigation by allowing your personal feelings to overshadow the realm of fairness and justice - Harrison will pay for what he did to Agent Scully - but the justice system will dole out the punishment - not you. Do you understand?" Mulder nodded slowly and followed Skinner to the interrogation room Harrison was sitting behind the table in the small room. He was sweating profusely. There were already several agents in the room questioning him about the night in Scully's apartment. When Harrison saw Mulder, he paled and began rambling. "She asked for it - I-I didn't do anything she didn't want. Look, my wife-I - I-just got divorced..." he stopped and took a gulp of water. Mulder moved in closer to the table. The other agents allowed him to stand directly in front of Harrison with only the table in between them. "Why did you do it Harrison? To get back at me? To hurt me? You were always a little man, Harrison, always aspiring for but never quite reaching the top, huh Harrison?" Harrison 's face was becomnig an alarming shade of red. "Shut up Mulder-shut up!!" "Why - so you can try to convince these good men and maybe yourself that what you did to Scully was justifiable? Why, Harrison? - did you ask her out and she turned you down? You know, she'd never get involved with someone like you,Paul - she's much more discriminating in her choice of men" "Shut up Mulder !- she wanted it - she just didn't know how to loosen up - all I did was help her out a bit." He was getting more agitated by the minute. Great - it was working. "So you helped her loosen up a bit, huh, Paul? How? Did it excite you to hit her? Did seeing all that blood get you hard? What really happened, Paul, did she pick up on something that you missed in your investigation - made you look stupid, Paul?" "Shut up!! You're just jealous - what's the matter Mulder - pissed off becuase you couldn't get in her pants but old Paulie here did?" Quickly, Skinner put a restraining hand on Mulder's shoulder and one of the other agents placed an arm in front of Mulder as he leaned across the table. "You son of a bitch - admit it, Harrison. you raped and beat Scully out of some sick sense of justice - she's smarter than you, she found evidence that you missed, made you look like a fool in front of your peers and you figured you'd show her who was boss!" That did it. Harrison broke. "That's right Mulder. She screwed me just like you did all those years ago. When I was pulled off field duty because of you I swore that I would never let anyone gain control over me like that. Then that bitch Scully comes to assist the VCS in an autopsy and she set me up! Made it look like i missed something in the investigation. She thought she was so smart, the bitch! Well, I fixed her ass allright - the bitch put up quite a struggle but I was stronger, smarter. Damn, it felt good to hear her screaming , begging me to let her go! She wasn't so smart then, was she Mulder??" Harrison was like a crazed man now, spittle spewed from his mouth, his face was beet red, his breathing labored. . His gaze full of hatred, encompassed every agent in the room. Mulder felt sick. The thought of this man touching Scully... "Harrison,we'll need a blood and fiber sample. And we'll also need a semen specimen." Skinner's voice was like flint. Harrison looked directly at Mulder, he knew he had been defeated, and said nastily, "Hey Mulder...got a picture of Scully ? I might need some help..." This time no one was in any hurry to restrain Mulder as he leaped across the table at Harrison. Over an hour later, Mulder returned to his office. He had gone to the employee cafeteria and had some ice applied to his throbbing hand. Damn, he thought, it 's probbaly broken. He had gotten in 2 good shots before Skinner and another agent pulled him off Harrison. Harrison had been livid, screaming police abuse. Skinner stopped him with a quiet, " What abuse, Mr. Harrison? No one here saw any abuse." He had then looked around at the two remaining agents, who each shook his head in agreement. Defeated, Harrison had meekly left to have his injuries tended to. While temding to his own injury, Mulder tried to rehearse how he would tell Scully that Harrison had been arrested. He didn't intend that she ever find out what Harrison had said during questioning or anything else that had happened. He needed to come up with something good to explain his swollen hand. But she would need to go to the lineup room and identify Harrison as the man who raped her. With a sigh, Mulder walked into the office. Scully was in the same place he had left her, pouring over some of the reports he had started while she was on leave. She looked up as he perched on the edge of her desk. "What's up Mulder? Did you stop by the lab?" "No Scully, I didn't. Uh, listen. They found him." "Who?" Scully asked, momentarily perplexed. Then it registered. She paled. "Harrison?" she whispered. Mulder nodded. "He confessed, Scully - we had to use a little unofficial ..coercion,you might say, but he did admit to raping and beating you, Scully. There won't have to be a trial." Scully closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of her chair. "Scully - you need to go down to the lineup room. It's just a formality but we don't want anything to slip through the cracks and give this guy the opportunity to go free so they need you to formally identify him as the man who assualted you." Scully took a deep breath and stood up. "Let's go then". She gathered up her purse and briefcase and started out of the room, Mulder following. Just outside the door she faltered, looking to Mulder for support. He could see the fear in her eyes but mixed with the fear was a new emotion - one he hadn't seen in a while -determination. He nooded almost imperceptibly to her and she smiled slightly. Then reaching for his hand and holding it tightly, they began the long walk down the corridor. ****************************************************************************** *******************Stay tuned for part 3 - "Unchecked Emotions 3 - Absolution" From Glm777@aol.com Mon Nov 18 19:52:00 1996 Rating: PG Disclaimer: These characters belong to chris Carter, 1013 production and Fox. No infringment is intended. Category: S,A Summary: Part three of my "Unchecked Emotions" stories. Scully must come to terms with her attack and get on with her life. Personal note: Again, many thanks for all the wonderful feedback I've recieved on the first story of this series. I had not originally intended this to be more than a single story (Violation). However, I received so many requests for a sequel that I had to write, not one, but a two part sequel. So here is the last part of the series which I have entitled "Unchecked Emotions" All three parts have been archived under the series title. ****************************************************************************** ******************** "Unchecked Emotions 3 - Absolution" by G.L. Medeiros Harrison, I thought that once you had been sentenced and incarcerated that I'd feel some sense of peace, of closure, but it didn't happen. I still think about what you did to me every day. I've become fearful not the same woman I was before the attack. I spoke to my mother about it - isn't it funny no matter how old you get, you still turn to your mother when things are bothering you? Well, maybe you don't. Anyway, my mother has a great faith and belief in God and goodness and love. She said to me "Dana, so far youI've done everything your head has told you to do - you've reported him, prosecuted him and put him away for a very long time .Maybe now you need to do what your heart needs you to do - forgive him". My first thought was, "How - how do I forgive the man who, in one evening, shattered my whole life?" So I tried to ignore what she said - I tried to focus on my work -but it wasn't enough. As the days went on I still felt the same- maybe my mother was right. So that's why I'm writing this letter, I'm trying to forgive . I can't promise that it'll actually happen but for my own sake I have to try. I want you to be clear on this - I'm doing this for me - not for you. Before I can forgive and hopefully someday forget, I need you to know what your attack did to me - not physically but emotionally and not just to me but to those people who care about me, for we all have been affected. I wonder, will I ever feel safe in my own home again? Will I be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life? Will I ever be able to find the good in people again? I never thought that when I opened my door to you that night that you would harm me - we work for the same gov't, know some of the same people and fight the same battles. We serve and protect - but your intent was not to protect me.The trust in the work that we do, the world that we live in, has been shattered - how can we fulfill our promise to serve and protect when we can't protect thoses who fight the battle with us? I also worry about the other people that were touched by this nightmare - my 80 yr old neighbor who heard my screams and called the FBI, my mother and sister who got the call from Mulder in the middle of the night - my mother has always dreaded getting that call. Will they be able to trust again, will they lose sleep worrying about me and about themselves? After all if if could happen to me.... But mostly I worry about Mulder, who has been my rock, my strength through this ordeal. Does he blame himself, as per usual - for not being there, for involving me in the xfiles, indirectly involving me with his own demons and past problems? I don't know what the long term affects will be for him, but I worry. I used to wish that I knew why you attacked me - was it to get back at Mulder for what happened years ago? Was it just a flaw in your personality, a need to be the macho man? Maybe it was the challange - conquering the "Ice Maiden". But I don't want to know - I don't care. I do know, however, that you took something from me that I did not want to give - but in return you gave me something that I didn't know I wanted - Mulder, as more than just my partner- how much more I'm not sure yet. But because of you and what you did to me, we've become closer than ever. He was the one who held me when I woke up screaming the first few nights, he was the one who held my hand as I walked the longest corridor ever to identify you as the man who raped me, and he was the one who held my hair back when I was violently ill after you had been sentenced. He is the one that I turn to in the middle of the night, listening to me crying on the phone at 3 in the morning when the fear becomes overwhelming. He has become a part of me. So, maybe my mother was right - maybe I can, in time, forgive you. I don't know - but I needed to tell you all of this so I can try to get on with my life, with Mulder if he wants to be part of that life. My mother says a prayer for you every night - that you will realize the enormity of your action and feel remorse over it - I cannot be so gracious. My hope is that my life will fall back into place and that our paths will never cross again - in any way. I hope that in prison, you get what you deserve - whatever that may be. Sincerely Dana Scully Dana Scully wiped the tears from her cheeks. She re-read the letter several times, breathing deeply, then carefully ripped the letter up into tiny pieces. As she watched them slowly fall to the bottom of the wastepaper basket, she felt her heart lift a little as each piece gracefully floated to the bottom. As the last of the pieces drifted to the bottom, she picked up the telephone and dialed. "Hi Mulder? Are you busy?.. No? Would you mind some company - I think we need to talk....No, I'm fine.. really, really fine." She was smiling through her tears now, the first real smile in a long time.She was going to be all right. ****************************************************************************** ******************** This it really it folks... for this series!! All comments are welome;send to GLM777@aol.com