From: TBishop27@aol.com Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2000 11:31:22 EST Subject: xfc: TANTRIC by TBishop and Char Chaffin Episode 2 (Part 1 of 18) Source: xfc From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 2, Part 1 of 18 ) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 WARNINGS: See end notes if you must know. Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com Missing parts? Or want to read more of our stories? Go to our archive pages: The Literary G-Spot (T Bishop's archive) http://members.xoom.com/arcticfox42/Tbishop.htm http://tbishop.freeservers.com/ Believe the Words (Char's archive) http://char.chaffin.com Chapter 17 I have been digging around for almost two hours, with not much to show for it, save a few tracks in the sand and a suspicion or two. On the opposite side of the island now, and the sun is high and there are no clouds. An idyllic day - the sort of day which screams for fun and frolic, instead of tromping with sweaty purpose through dense underbrush and smelly vegetation. Smelly... hmmm. Unless something died here very recently, nothing in a forest, even a rain forest, should smell that funky. As I move through the tangle of palmetto fronds, fern and assorted squishy moss, searching for any sort of footpath, I keep my nose to the small breeze stirring the sparse grasses; following the path of the smell. Getting stronger - and worse - as I finally stumble upon a rough path and trace it back around a jutting rock. Huge rock; almost a cave. I wonder if it is a cave... As I round the side of the massive slab, I am hit with something so surreal and unexpected - yet I tell myself as I gaze at it that I should have seen this one coming... an altar, made of stone; rudimentary in shape but definitely an altar. Earthen bowls, eight of them ringing the stone; empty but a few with a residual powdery substance coating the inside; I bring one to my face and sniff, not detecting anything specific. I drop the bowl and look up; look up, and up - at the column of rock behind the altar which from the back had the appearance of a cave, but now begins to resemble something else. I have to step back eight or nine paces to be able to see the whole thing, but... now I can see it(tm)s not a cave. An enormous face, elongated and fiercely frowning - a Tiki. That's what I am seeing. In some cultures a benevolent spirit; in others, evil incarnate... and as I look up into the face of this one, I wonder just what culture this one represents - because although the altar and surrounding area is clean as a whistle, except for a few powdery bowls, the stench in the air is powerful here - enough to knock a buzzard off a shit wagon. I turn and take off in the opposite direction, toward the huts on the other side of the island. Don't understand why suddenly I should feel that Scully is in danger of some kind... but I do. ~~~~~~ "What's this?" I ask the Guru who is offering me a small chalice, intricately carved and filled with a dark, but sweet smelling liquid. "It is part of the Awakening process. Aushadhi can bring enlightenment, but it is something that must be carefully administered. This is a potion I have created especially for you." Exactly what Mulder warned me against, and he's not even here to protect me this time. And I know that he's right. I can feel the panic rising up inside me, and I balk at the offering. "Master Yidah, I'm not entirely comfortable with this. Maybe it would be better to wait until..." "You have so little trust in me, Dana? If I do not enjoy your confidence, then it will be impossible for me to give you instruction. You may go." Oh God. Now I've insulted him. That's the last thing I wanted to do. And he's completely right to take offense. I have to learn to follow this man if I am to look to him as a spiritual guide. "No, Master Yidah, I trust you. I'm just concerned as to what my reaction might be to..." "You have nothing to fear. I will let no harm come to you. Accept each lesson as it is given, with and open mind and heart. It is the only way to find what you are seeking." Against my better judgment, and before I can convince myself not to, I hastily drink down the muddy concoction. Master Yidah takes my chin in his hand and smiles approvingly, almost paternally, at my compliance. Already, I can feel a tingling in my mouth as the sweet elixir absorbs instantly into the bloodstream. This is not good. I've put myself into a potentially dangerous situation, taken into my body what is, most likely, mind altaring substances, at the behest of a man I know very little about... put myself into a position from which I may soon have little or no ability to control what happens to me, or offer any kind of resistance should it become necessary... and Mulder is no where near should I need him to play the role of knight in shining armor again. But I have taken a leap of faith. Something that is required if I am to attain my goal and find the truth of my inner self. I have to stop letting Mulder's paranoia become my own and distort the situation. This is a peaceful island paradise, and Master Yidah is a benevolent teacher who has shown me nothing but kindness since my arrival. Besides, there's no going back now. "Students must be willing to follow, without hesitation, all instruction of the Guru Master. Do not question the teachings or the methods with which they are given, just accept them. Can you do this?" I think I consented, but I'm slipping away much too quickly to be sure. There is a feeling of weightlessness coming over me, and the candles... the strangest thing about the candles... God, it's beautiful! The lights from the candles streak like lines of fire across the room... bending and twisting in the most interesting patterns... forming an aurora of red, gold and orange that dances and shifts with each turn of my head. Master Yidah is chanting, and I feel his hands pushing me slowly back onto the bed of pillows. Somewhere in the back of my mind I register apprehension but it is quelled by the greater sense of peace and well being that covers me like a blanket, warm and safe. "And now, my lovely Goddess, Lord Shiva will awaken the Chakras of your inner self." The deep resonance of his voice fills the room, surrounding me, seemingly coming from everywhere at once. I feel my robe being opened, my naked flesh exposed. "AUM chamunde hulu hulu chulu vashamanaya amukhim svaha..." He chants the mantra over and over as he christens my skin with perfumed oils, marks my forehead with sacred ash. My head rolls side to side on the feathery pillows as the musical song of his words pushes me deeper into a trance state of detachment. "AUM Kamaru Kamachcha... Repeat the Mantra, Dana," he instructs. "AUM Kamaru Kamachcha," I cannot resist him, echoing the words he has given me. "Do not stop. Continue." And as I obey his command, softly reciting the chant, his hands begin rubbing the oils over my body, massaging, arousing... I find myself caught in the words as I speak them, losing the last bits of conscious awareness of what is happening to me... ~~~~~~ End of Episode 3, Part 1 of 18 End Notes: SPOILER WARNING!!! If you're here you want to know what happens in part 1. Scully has an encounter of a sexual nature with Guru Yidah. She is drugged and unaware of most of what's happening to her. From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 3, Part 2 of 18 ) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com ~~~~~~ She's not in our sleeping area; I stand over the mat, winded from running so hard halfway across the island, my eyes adjusting to the dimness within the netted cloth surrounding our mat. Looking down, I notice the manuals scattered across the braided reeds on the floor, a cup on its side next to the thickest manual. Heart suddenly pounding against my ribs, I bend to retrieve the cup, sniffing at it although I already know what I will find. Godammit - green fucking tea! The fury which overtakes me in a flash spurs a string of biting curses pouring from my mouth as I fling the earthen cup as far as I can. I whirl on my heels and stride from our area, moving as quickly as I can without attracting too much attention to myself. Christ knows, everyone on this damn island moves like a slow fart - luckily, there are only a few people moving about and nobody pays me any mind. Guess I'm moving slowly enough to suit them, I think inanely to myself as I head over to the main hut. No goons today, thankfully - the Guru must have given them time off to go terrorize some monkeys, or something. I slip through the front entrance and move quietly around the center fire-pit toward the back room. Without stopping to wonder why I would be so sure Scully is in there, I creep up silently to the door which has been opened about three inches, presumably to help re-circulate the inner air which escapes to waft about my head in a fragrant profusion of sandlewood, Tagara and something vaguely pungent and oily-smelling. Oils... something about that particular smell has me very worried - but before I can step closer to the door, a small hand grabs at me and pulls me away from the door, drags me across the main room and outside into the hot sun. I look down, temporarily blinded, taken by surprise... Madhu has hold of my arm, a worried frown on her lovely face and one finger to her lips as she pulls the door partially closed. I tug on my arm, but she is strong for such a delicate thing, and she won't let go. "Come on, Madhu - let go. Dana's in there and I'm worried about her..." "Saiid, please... do not disturb the ritual. The Master will be very displeased if you upset the balance of the Awakening - please, you should not be here. The Awakening must be accomplished one on one. You will see, when your time comes, Saiid..." I shake my head and gently remove her hand. One on one... Jesus, I don't like the sound of that! I turn to Madhu again, forcing my eyes away from the door, and stare into her sad brown orbs. She has those dark circles happening again, and her pale face contrasts sharply with the natural dusk of her skin. She is so sweet - and so unhappy. Dangerous combination, sometimes. "Madhu, Dana is my entire world. I would do anything to make her happy - anything but compromise my security in the quality of our love. If that goes against the Tantra and its teachings of openness and oneness, then tough shit. I am sorry, but I'm going in there and breaking up the session - if I see anything objectionable to me, I'm breaking it up. Can you honestly tell me it's completely innocent, what's happening in there? Come on, I know better! And so do you -" I reach out a finger and trace the dark circle under one of her eyes - "Otherwise I wouldn't be seeing these under the eyes of one so young and lovely. Now, let me go, Madhu... let me go to my wife, and later Dana and I will meet you, and I promise we will help you... please..." Madhu sighs, and whispers, "As you wish, Saiid Fox - I will try to find you, later. Perhaps we can help each other..." She gives my arm a gentle squeeze and lets me go; I immediately turn to the door, and open it another crack, steeling myself for a scene which I am sure will raise the green monster within my soul... I hear the chanting first; Scully's soft voice chanting, although it really doesn't sound quite like Scully. More like a robot on auto-erotica overdrive; soft and deep and somehow fierce... "AUM Kamaru Kamachcha, AUM Kamaru Kamachcha..." Over and over I hear it, matching the voice of the Guru as he chants to her. "AUM chamunde hulu hulu chulu vashamanaya amukhim svaha..." Repeating those words, which sound vaguely familiar - didn(tm)t I read about that chant, in one of the manuals provided on Abaco? I know I did - and as suddenly as I remember reading about the chant, I remember what the chant is supposed to do - and I am beyond furious, beyond hostile and beyond the saner, more sensible side of my own personal yin and yang... as I recall the chant as part of a bewitchment ritual. I grasp the door and throw it wide, stepping though the opening and allowing the afternoon light to flood the inner sanctum, pouring across the vision of Scully and the Guru... Holy SHIT! Scully? Laid out on a pile of pillows, on her back with arms and legs flung to the four corners of the earth; robe undone and bare body glistening with oil... the same oil which drips from the hands of Master Baet-mi, the guru-stud. He's crouched over her like a starving man about to feast after a long famine; eyes afire with whatever shit he's been snorting or drinking. And Scully... she's so far gone I would bet she's just about catatonic. Her half-closed eyes are black with dilation; skin rosy pink, as if she is running a fever. And I swear I can see the imprint of his hands upon her flesh... what little sanity I have left amplifying the vision until I am certain I could truly shoot this man dead by the strength of the hostility in just one of my eyes. I gulp in a huge breath and stride over to the pillows, grasping him around the throat with one hand and flipping Scully's robe shut with the other, before it too joins the hand squeezing the hell out of him. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU(tm)RE DOING WITH MY WIFE??!!" I am shaking him like a terrier with a rat; that's exactly what he is: a predatory, filthy rat. I don't give a flying shit how many degrees he has or how many couples he's helped; at the moment he's a dead man and that's all that matters to me. I can see his face starting to darken red from lack of air; superimposed over that is the sight of Madhu's face, dripping with tears, the way she looked the night of the orgy. I am beside myself with anger, jealousy and the red mist of violence, all directed at this asshole. I manage to spit out words, scathing virulence in every syllable. "You son of a bitch... you can pretend all over the Goddamn place that this is just part of the Tantric experience, but you may as well know just how dead you've become. What the fuck gives you the right to think you can touch my wife this way? Huh? Answer me, you sick prick!!" I shake him again, and this time he manages to get a hand close enough to pry at my fingers; I won't let go, regardless of how much his fingers digging into my hand really hurts. His voice comes out in a series of gobbling gasps, as I continue to deprive him of oxygen. "Fox, you misunderstand... I was not behaving in an inappropriate manner with Dana... please, you are hurting me... she is ready for the Awakening. Aushadhi has aroused her Kundalini and she now requires direction... I must perform the ritual, please... let go and I will explain..." I ease up on his neck, thinking very hard. This man is not suspicious of us, not yet. So far he believes me to be nothing more than a jealous husband. I am in serious danger of blowing our cover, but I could kill him on the spot, right now - because as I hold him still, by the throat... I can see his mouth is glistening with oil. The same oil which coats his hands - the same oil which rings Scully's exposed breasts, arrows down the center of her body and pools into the dip of her navel, disappearing into her little red curls. The bastard had his mouth on Scully... my Scully. My woman. I don't dare try to guess where on her body that mouth may have been - Jesus, no! That bit of analysis would surely send me over the edge, and reduce me to the very killer that I spend my life tracking down and locking up. My fury is now so white-hot that I can barely force the heaving breaths out through my bared teeth. I pull at Guru Asshole, until his face is within inches of mine; he is a strong, muscular man but he's no match for me when the adrenaline is pumping through me this wildly. "You. Had. Your. Mouth. On. My. Wife. Your goddamn mouth... I could kill you for that alone. At this moment I don't give a shit about your teachings, your rituals, your manuals, positions, green tea, Tagara or anything else connected with Tantra. Nobody, but nobody ever said a word about fucking wife-swapping. And nobody, under any circumstances, puts a hand wrong where Dana is concerned. We trusted you... trusted you to teach us the Tantra ways, for US to use on each other... not for you to pull on my wife because you need some kind of cheap ego boost." With those words, I give his throat one last hard press, and fling him away from me in utter disgust, turning back to Scully, who hasn't awoken; hasn't even moved. I can see how thoroughly stoned she is; I can almost smell it emanating from her pores. I drop to my knees before her, tenderly brushing the tangled hair from her cheeks, and whisper to her urgently. "Baby, wake up now... Dana, sweetheart, come on - wake up..." Not even a flicker of an eyelash; she's totally out of it. I tie her robe together, and slide my arms underneath her, lifting her and holding her tightly against my chest... turning to face Guru Asshole, still half-kneeling on the mound of pillows and rubbing at his throat. Without another word I turn toward the door, but apparently this particular Guru is an idiot as well as being an asshole, because he jumps up and in front of the open door, blocking it with his body and speaking to me in a low, almost singsong voice. And I stare at him in utter amazement; the prick is actually trying to mesmerize me with his voice; trying to keep me from leaving with Scully. Un-shitting-believable... "Fox, wait... listen to me. You cannot take Dana from the Awakening once the ritual has begun. You risk doing irreparable damage to her delicate inner balance... you must let me fulfill her Vashikarana; to interrupt and disturb the ritual at this point could do her great harm..." His voice has been gaining in strength and whatever weird conviction he follows, and he's reaching out both hands in my direction, preparing to take Scully from my arms. I am totally not believing this. How stupid can one man be? If I wasn't so much on the fine edge of popping his throat open with my bare hands... I'd be laughing my ass off right about now. I ask myself again - how fucking egotistical can one man be? Something of what I am thinking, contemplating, must be showing big-time in my eyes, because his persuasive voice peters out as I stare him down, the absolute and irrefutable disbelief in my eyes causing his confidence as a mesmerizer to falter. The sharp snort of laughter which erupts from me makes him take one tiny step back. And I take one tiny step forward, my arms tightening even more around my precious burden. "You have got to be fucking with me, Yodel - because there's no way you can be that monumentally stupid. Yessir, you are definitely out there - I think you've been inhaling too much of your own shit, not to mention believing it. Let me put this in words which even you will understand, shall I?" "It's over. Done. Through. Finis. As a true Tantric guru you suck canal water; as a mesmerizer your methods leave a hell of a lot to be desired; your little schtick depends less on actual talent, caring and devotion than it does on just needing to feel like a big man and having to use goddamn drugs to accomplish your goal. I read through a hell of a lot of books and I know one thing for certain: you cannot bewitch somebody into going against her true nature, unless you lie to her first and then drug the living shit out of her. I can attest to the level of drugging going on; unfortunately, I had no control over whether or not Dana believed your lies." With each word I speak to him, he seems to shrink just a little bit; and by the time I finish, I'm feeling a lot better. I turn to the door again, throwing a few last remarks over my shoulder. "I think it would be best if we leave, Master Yidah... as soon as possible. I doubt this understanding of the Tantra will be successful for us. I would appreciate it if you would arrange to have a boat pick us up. Let's just call this quits; obviously we were not meant to embrace Tantra quite this... intricately." I don't give him an opportunity to protest or persuade any further; I have got to try to get out of there before I plop Scully down on the first available pillow, turn back to him and pull his large intestines out through his nostrils. I have got to hold onto my temper; keep it together; stay somewhat cool. I walk out the door and into the bright, cleansing sunlight; hearing behind me his softly spoken reply. "As you wish, Mr. Hale..." End of Episode 3, Part 2 of 18 From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 3, Part 3 of 18 ) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com ~~~~~~ I manage to hold the outwardly-calm persona about as long as it takes me to get past the hut and onto the path leading through the lush vegetation beyond the beach. By the time I hit the path I'm shaking all over; clutching Scully harder, I struggle to reach a small clearing between a thick copse of palmettos. Then I can't take another step; I sink down onto the mossy ground, and bury my suddenly wet face into Scully's soft neck. She's still out of it, sleeping off the heavy drugs she has imbibed. I can't even imagine what the hell he gave her; I push the thought away, knowing if I start dwelling on it I'll go off my onion. I am also trying to push away any visuals of that bastard touching Scully, Jesus... touching would be bad enough. But I know the contact he had with her went far beyond his hands... Oh, Christ, I don't want to see this, here behind my closed lids. I press both hands to my eyes, hard; it hurts but I welcome the pain; anything to get my vivid mind off the waking nightmare of him, hovering over her defenseless body, nude and vulnerable; his hands slick with that oil, sliding his fingers over and around each of her sweet breasts - GODDAMNIT! - my breasts, they're mine and nobody else's; she gave them to me for safe-keeping, for my endless devotion and protection, just as she gave me her tender backside, her cute little rounded belly, and those perfectly-curved and shapely legs. She gave me those gorgeous blue eyes and every single strand of her glorious silky hair, her pouty rosebud lips and that tongue from Heaven; gave me her pretty red curls and the tiny treasure they cover and shield... it's all mine. Mine... and I want to tear, rip and destroy; gouge and decimate; I want to scream until I have no voice left! I don't want to see or imagine anything else he may have done to her; can't think about those blunt fingers shoving themselves inside her body, inside where I gladly worship; wondering with intense agony if she felt anything when her inner walls were touched and probed; did she think it was me? Would she wanted it to have been my fingers... or was she so far gone, into the Tagara and whatever other drugs were introduced into her system, that she wouldn't care? Could he tell her, whisper to her, that he was the one she really wanted, him in my place... and would she have listened to him, believed him? His mouth, ringed in oil... Oh, fuck me... his mouth. No, I can't even begin to go there! If I go there I really will jump off the deep end; if I go there I will no doubt find myself bouncing like a lunatic all over this goddamned island, gouging out great mountains of mossy earth and flinging them into the boiling ocean; tearing down palm trees with nothing more than my teeth and using them to thrash every last hut and shelter on this fucking island... I find myself so far beyond sanity at this point that I can't stay down any longer; my eyes are two burning lumps in my head as I lay Scully down on the moss and leap to my feet and pound my fists into the nearest palm trunk until the knuckles split and bleed; the words forcing their way up from my shattered soul through my aching lungs and spewing out into the silent open air - "OH FUCKSHITFUCKGODDAMMITALLTOHELL!!!!!!!" ~~~~~~ Chapter 18 The threatening rumble of thunder somewhere in the distance awakens me from languorous sleep. Once startled from its hypnotic state, my brain begins processing again what my eyes can see. I find myself looking straight up at the feathery branches of a grove of coconut palms. For just a minute or two, I lie there and contemplate the ruffled leaves swaying in the urgent wind, featured against a background of ominous storm clouds. The air is thick, and any minute I expect to feel the first drops of rain hitting my skin. And just like that it occurs to me. I have no idea where in the hell I am, or how I came to be here. Think, Dana, think. What's the last thing you remember? ...Oh no! "Mulder?!" Trying to sit up too quickly causes me to become lightheaded, and I must look as though I'm about to pass out again because Mulder is at my side in an instant, worried frown, and furrows creasing his tanned brow. "Easy, Scully. Just take it easy." He helps me lean back against one of the trees. Maybe it's better if I ease myself out of this mystic abstraction a little at a time. Whatever Master Yidah gave me to drink in that potion, it hit me hard, and I'm still a bit unsteady. "Mulder, where are we?" "I had to get you out of there, away from him." His voice is hoarse and shaky. "What are you talking about? What happened?" "That fucking bastard, Guru-man... I found you in his bed!" His eyes flash with rage, and just as quickly he calms himself again, bringing a gentle hand to my face, rubbing his thumb tenderly across my cheek. "Do you remember any of it, Scully? We're you aware of what was happening? What he did to you?" Oh boy. I don't. That's just the problem. And by the color in Mulder's face and the fire blazing in his eyes, I have a terrible sinking feeling it's not something I'm going to enjoy finding out about. "No," I tell him quietly, shaking my head for emphasis. He inhales deeply and huffs out a cleansing breath. I'm not sure if he's relieved that I know so little of what happened, or upset by that knowledge. "Doesn't matter. The important thing is you're safe now. And soon we'll be going home. We're taking the next boat back to Abaco, hopping the first available flight to Miami, and then it's back to DC, G-woman. I've had about all the paradise I can stand." "NO!" I sit up quickly again, but this time the dizziness is manageable. "Mulder, I'm not going back. I've made a pledge to continue my training with Master Yidah for the full course of study. As proof of my commitment, I've already signed over all my material possessions to the church." "You did WHAT?!" Taking his hand in mine, I try to let him see just how important this is to me. It was a big step, I know; but how could spending the next twelve years of our lives growing closer, learning the ways of Tantra, and discovering ourselves, be the wrong thing to do? My choice is already made. Now I just have to persuade Mulder to walk with me down this new path. "I want you to do the same. Master Yidah is a wonderful teacher. And I want this for us. I want it so much." "Jesus, Scully, have you lost your mind? What has he done to you?" "I made this decision of my own free will." "That 'free will' didn't happen to be helped along by a little Tagara, did it? Or maybe some of that green shit tea you've taken an unhealthy liking to? Was it before or after the Groping Guru drugged you to the gills?" "Mulder, I don't know what you think happened, but I can assure you..." "Wait a second," he cuts me off. "Wait just a second. You signed legal documents?" I nod. "But, Scully, we're undercover. Tell me you didn't sign your real name." "Of course I did. The case has been solved, Mulder. There's no wrong doing here. I came clean with Master Yidah about our true identities. And he was very understanding about the..." "SHIT!" Mulder jumps up and begins a tirade of pacing and cursing. "Shitshitshit! GODDAMN IT, SCULLY! YOU BLEW OUR COVER... WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING! FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE!" As if the sky itself has absorbed Mulder's rage, a loud boom issues from the clouds above causing us both to startle. I'm not sure which storm is more threatening, the tropical squall blowing in from somewhere out over the ocean, or the typhoon of fury swirling in Mulder's eyes. It's a bit of a struggle but I manage to get to my feet as well. "I don't understand what you're so angry about, Mulder. The case is over, done! We've been through this already! It's time to let it go. Do you understand me? No more! We're here for us now. To study with Master Yidah. To grow together, Mulder, me and you. To find spiritual oneness. To practice the Tantra and Awaken our Chakras. To find the truth of our inner selves." "Christ! Will you listen to yourself!" He comes close to me again, and takes my face in his hands, staring hard into my eyes as if he's trying to force me to understand him. "He's weakened your mind with drugs, Scully. He's gotten inside your head and distorted your view of what's really happening here. A few hours ago I found you lying naked in the man's bed. He was performing a bewitchment ritual on you, not that I believe that phony sack of shit is capable of anything paranormal... but he was all over you. His hands, his mouth... touching you in places and ways that..." he breaks off suddenly overcome with sentiment, and I watch as he fights back a wave of overwhelming emotion before he can continue. "...in ways that only I'm supposed to." "Oh, Mulder. You must be misinterpreting what you saw." "How would you know what I saw? You were in la la land, Scully. He drugged you." I shake my head adamantly. "I was a willing participant. And it was an herbal potion that I drank. Aushadhi is a legitimate means by which Samadhi is attained. Master Yidah was only guiding me to my Awakening." "You LET him do that to you?!!!" He steps back from me a few steps and looks at me in stunned disbelief. "What are you, his fucking little groupie?!!!" "Mulder..." I'm trying very hard not to lose my own temper. He's letting his jealousy run away with him. The wind has picked up quite a bit, the forest around us stirred into a frenzy by the approaching storm. I reach out to my partner hoping to quell the emotional rage howling within him, but he turns a cold shoulder to my attempt at reconciliation. "We came here to conduct an investigation, Agent Scully. You've completely lost your focus, and in doing so, jeopardized this case and put us in a potentially dangerous situation. As Senior Agent, I'm hereby relieving you of duty until such time as you can undergo a complete psychological evaluation and are deemed mentally competent and fit to return to work." "I'm not GOING back. I told you. Please, Mulder, don't be like this." But he is beyond reasoning with at this point. I can see that. His body is stiff and he's closed himself off to me. For whatever reason, he's already deemed Master Yidah guilty... of what, I'm not really clear. There is more thunder, and the rain finally begins to fall, large drops of water showering both of us from above. "What do you have against him? So far you haven't shown me one piece of solid evidence that indicates any sort of wrong doing here, or implicates Master Yidah in anything devious. Where's the case, Mulder?" "When I was searching the island today for any clues as to what might have happened to the five men who are STILL missing... the husbands of your Guru-man's harem, I found a large stone altar on the other side of the island, a ceremonial place where religious rites are performed. There is a stench... like death, surrounding the place." "Did you search the area? Were there bodies? Blood?" "I searched, but couldn't find the source of the smell. There are traces of some sort of powder in several bowls I found at the site. I was planning to go back and investigate further after I located you. I wanted you to see it too." "Mulder, how do you know this isn't an artifact, that you haven't inadvertently stumbled upon the remains of an earlier civilization?" "It may likely be a relic, but I'm certain it's still in use. I found tire tracks, evidence that a motorized vehicle had been in the area." "What does that prove?" I'm tired of this. Tired of his stubborn refusal to accept the facts. He's let his suspicious and imaginative mind go too far this time. "My God, you're paranoid, Mulder! There's nothing going on here! Why can't you see that?" "There is, Scully, and I'm going to prove it to you. And when I do, you're going to come back with me to DC. I'm not about to stay in this Godforsaken place one day longer than I absolutely have to. And there's no way in Hell I'm leaving you behind when I go." ~~~~~~ End of Episode 3, Part 3 of 18 From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 3, Part 4 of 18 ) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com ~~~~~~ The warm rain hits my face as I head for the main hut - I have to find Madhu and talk to her, have to find out whatever I can about the signing away of material possessions. I am moving fast, feet pounding the ground, my heart keeping beat with each step. And as I move farther away from where Scully still sits, there underneath the swaying palmettos... I feel as if I am losing her already to the Tantra, and the insidious evil I know I have found. And my heart is splintering into a thousand pieces as the weight of what I have learned proves almost too much for me to bear. The sudden anguish I feel causes me to actually double over, and I sink to the ground just inside the dense undergrowth, yards away from the clearing. I can't even begin to assimilate all I have learned, since Scully came to and revealed to me her involuntary duplicity. What frightens me the most is her inability to even see the truth when she's sober - after the drugs wear off - as if the effects of the shit stamp their poison permanently in her mind, not only altering her perception but her basic personality. The Scully I knew on Abaco would never have let another man touch her in such a way, then reduce the knowledge of it to nothing more than a willingness to absorb some spiritual mumbo-jumbo. This Scully can't, won't see the truth... this Scully is somebody I don't know. And if I don't save her now, she will be as lost as those five women who stumble after Guru Asshole on their hands and knees, drugged to their eyeballs and so far gone from their true selves that an army of rescuers couldn't return them to their comfort zone. If I don't get her the hell out of here, I will lose her. I refuse to admit to myself that in some vital way I have already lost her... the words we threw in each other's faces ping around my aching head as I find myself curling into a self-protective ball, rain still drenching me: "...there's no way in Hell I'm leaving you behind when I go." She just looked at me as if I'd lost my mind; shook off my hand as if she found the touch of me repugnant. Looking hard into my face, Scully must have figured a different approach would fare her better, for she tried to smile reassuringly at me; took a step closer and peered up into my face. "Mulder... listen to me. I am not going back. I've made a decision, a commitment, to this way of life and I intend to honor it. Material possessions mean nothing to me now - if I had to wear one of those damn G-woman suits for one more day I would suffocate! For the first time in my life I feel really free - for the first time I know exactly what I want and how to go about getting it." "Mulder, what you thought you saw, between me and Guru Yidah - you had to be mistaken. He is my mentor, my teacher - he would never harm me or take advantage of me! That is not his way; besides why would he need me in that way when he has five beautiful women to satisfy his needs, plus a stunning wife..." My hand over her mouth stopped her words - honest to God if I had to listen to one more of that bastard's lies coming from her lips I could not be held accountable for my actions. Her eyes got big and round as I held her, gagged; I could feel the fury whipping up inside me again, a storm to overtake the real one brewing all around us. I'd had it, quite literally. I couldn't prove it to her with words, obviously... maybe she'd hear me if I showed her. I grasped her around the waist with my free hand and jerked her to me so hard she choked on her own breath. "Shut the fuck up, Scully... shut up or, so help me Christ, I'm gonna hurt you. I am telling you for the last time - YOU WERE DRUGGED! Out of your mind comatose-stoned-zombie-drugged. He could have fucked you with the Washington Monument between those pale thighs of yours, and you would not have felt a thing. You were so limp I thought you were dead; so deep into it you were barely breathing. You call that Tantra business-as-usual? I don't think so! You want a little demonstration of what I'd stake my life he was doing? Fine, I'd be happy to oblige!" I was out of control at that moment, far worse than I'd been up to that point, and I knew I was scaring her... but I had to make her see. I was fighting for not only her life, but mine as well. I yanked at her robe, throwing the sash to the ground, flicked the silky material open and without any warning thrust two fingers into her, growling against her ear, "He had oil on his fingers, dripping off his arms... if a man other than me shoved his hands into you like this, what would you do, hmmm?" She squirmed, trying to loosen my grip, but I hung on. I bent her upper body backwards until her little nipples were pointing to the clouds, and covered one with my mouth, teeth nipping and tongue stabbing at the creamy skin. She moaned and gasped as I ground out against her breast, "What about this, Scully? Think you could stand to have someone else's mouth on you, teeth biting you... now that your breasts have felt my touch?" I could hear her crying but I ignored her tears, her shock, as I nipped and licked a trail of fire down her smooth body to the juncture of her thighs; my knees hit the dirt as I pulled her hips flush against my face and buried my lips deep into her curls, laving her wet silk with my tongue for several minutes before I lifted my head and my eyes burned up into her tear-streaked face. "What about this, huh? Does it feel like love to you - or does it feel like rape? Tell me, baby... in a drugged state of no return, how could you tell the difference? What constitutes awakening of the spirit, versus just plain old molestation? Because that's what that bastard did to you, Scully - he molested you, raped you. He raped you of your right to choose whether or not you really wanted that level of his rotten little lessons... he took away your right to say 'no'. It's a great word, Scully - and the ability to choose to say it represents the difference between sex, and forcible rape. Say it, Scully- say 'no' to me... make me stop doing this to you. Tell me you don't want to be taken this way, with anger instead of tenderness; with me bending you to my will instead of our mutually seeking the Tantra for ourselves with no drugs and nothing more than our desire to learn. Go ahead, say it! See what happens when you do..." And I buried my mouth again, pushing my tongue inside, treating her roughly, my stubbled cheeks braising her delicate skin, until she shuddered and pushed at my face and cried out to me. "NO! NO, MULDER, PLEASE! No..." She was sobbing in my arms and I held her tenderly, for as soon as I heard that first 'No', I stopped. I held her a moment longer, pressing soft soothing kisses over her wet face, before I let her go; stepped back, away from her, and spoke in a thick, tear-roughened voice. "You think about it, Scully... think long and hard about what you just felt. 'Cause I am telling you that's what went down just a few hours ago in the Guru's little harem-room... I'm telling you the truth. I'm going to go find Madhu now, and see if there's anything she can tell me about those missing men. You think about this..." And I turned back to the clearing. End of Episode 3, Part 4 of 18 From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 3, Part 5 of 18) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com A little later, Madhu finds me, there on the ground, slumped against the trunk of a withered palmetto; a fitting spot for me to lean, I suppose... I'm feeling pretty withered myself. I'm staring at the ground, yet seeing nothing except the images within my mind; picturing the shattered look on Scully's face after I had pushed her away from me... after I humiliated and debased her, yet again. Jesus - will I never learn? I could have found a more gentle way to convince her. But then, if I had - I probably would have had no success at getting through to her. Not that my little performance made much of an impression, other than scaring the shit out of her... A gentle hand on my shoulder shakes me from my despairing reverie, and I look up through blurry eyes, to see Madhu staring down at me, a look of concern in her soft eyes. A half-smile forms on my lips, and I grasp her hand and pull her down next to me on the mossy sand, then stare out at the rolling surf. I have to ask Madhu for help; the sort of help which could put her into possible danger should her bastard husband find out. But I must get Scully off this goddamn island before she becomes so deeply influenced by the drugs and the guru's line of bullshit that she never surfaces. I turn to Madhu and lock her gaze with mine. "Madhu, you know the truth about your husband's practices, don't you? You know what he does to the women who receive his 'special' attention; women like the ones in his harem." Madhu lowers her head, letting her black hair slip over her face, hiding from me. Uh-uh, Madhu - I don't think so. I slip my hand underneath her chin and force her to meet my gaze; I hate having to do this to her but I have no choice. "Madhu, please... help us. I have got to get Dana off this island; you and I both know what's gonna happen if I don't. Dana will end up a virtual slave of your husband, kept permanently drugged and used by him until there's nothing left - until she's all used up. You can't deny that's how he gets his harem, now can you? I'm not blind; I've been watching closely while I've pretended to study the Tantra. You know how he operates, and there has to be a way to catch him out, some sort of proof. There are five men missing; the mates of those women your husband keeps drugged and at his side constantly. I don't want Dana to become the sixth..." "Please, Madhu - is there anything you can tell me, show me? Anything at all..." Taking both her hands in mine, I plead with her, almost on my knees before her; I know she's probably the only sympathetic ear I will find on this fucking island. She's silent for the longest time, eyes fastened unseeingly upon the horizon, a glaze of tears shimmering in them; until they fill to overflowing and slip down her pale cheeks like chips of glass. She doesn(tm)t bother to wipe them away, and I refuse to let go of her hands, anyhow. Finally she turns to me, the silent tears still falling. She meets my intense stare head-on, and manages the tiniest of smiles, aimed right at my sore heart. "Saiid Fox... years ago I believed that someday I would meet a man such as you, and he would sweep me off my feet and carry me away to a happy life. Young and gullible as I was, I truly believed Yidah to be my savior, my true soul-mate. And for years after we married I told myself he was - even though I knew early on the sort of man I had married." "Your depth of love for Dana warms me, even as it humbles me, and it also makes me fiercely envious - for I know I shall never find that measure of love as long as I am with the man I married. More and more lately, I have been wondering just how much I can continue to endure, of this way of life. I now answer my questions with a very firm, 'No more'... so, Saiid Fox, yes - I will help you... I will. Tell me what you need me to do, and I will do it." The immense relief I feel as she agrees to help me breaks me out in the looniest of smiles, as I tug on her hands until she is pressed against me, and I give her an enormous hug, whispering into her hair, "Thank you, Madhu - from my heart. You will be coming with us, won't you? Please, we want to help you. A new start - we can give that to you. Please, let us repay you..." Madhu nods against my chest, and raises her head, wiping the last vestiges of tears. "I will go with you - and I think I know of something you can use against my husband - something which can be of great help to you. I can bring it to you, but not now - not until later, when my husband is otherwise... occupied." The sudden flare of anger and pain her words invoke sweeps across my face and she blanches and shakes her head vigorously, laying a restraining hand upon my tense arm. "No, No... not that! It will not be that, I promise you... he has a session with three other couples. Please, do not worry! I must go now; he will be wondering where I am. I will meet you at the lagoon later tonight when it gets dark. Tonight, Saiid - please try not to worry." She rises gracefully, and touches her fingers to her head and heart, then turns and moves toward the main hut. And I find myself childishly crossing my fingers... worried and hopeful all at once. I lean against the tree, watching Madhu disappear into the main hut. I wonder just how strong this delicate, gentle woman really is. Sheltered, to be sure; yet faced with the harsh side of life at an early age - obviously educated, and intelligent - but charmingly naive. Taken advantage of from a young age, to be sure - and I can only hope that the resentment and hurt she has been feeling, the continuous betrayal and humiliation experienced at the hands of her husband will be enough to sustain her when it comes time to leave. I flip the wet hair out of my eyes and head toward our shelter, for the first time noticing the rain has turned chilly. Guess I was too preoccupied to feel the cold earlier. Little wonder - my anger and worry could have set off fireworks at fifty paces. I reach the shelter and sink down upon our sleep-mat, finding a semi-clean towel to dry off my hair. Cleanliness is not a big issue on the island, I had discovered; with no running water bathing had been rather inconvenient. Behind the main hut is a long shelter blocked off with cloth curtains; broken into five cubicles, each housing a metal tub and a small portable commode. To have a bath requires toting the water from the lagoon and filling the tubs. We discovered that towels are hand-washed once a week, and couples are expected to share their towels with each other... luckily Scully and I aren't squeamish about that sort of thing. We've even gotten to the point where one of us can be bathing in a cubicle while the other, well... does other things... in the same cubicle, if necessary. Love does that to you, I guess - at least, love did that to Scully and me. I drop the towel into a rattan basket at the edge of our mat, and sit staring out at the drizzling rain. Love has done a lot of miraculous things to us - things I never in my wildest dreams thought would happen to me. Having now achieved it, I refuse to let it slip from my grasp. The crushing guilt I try not to feel is suddenly overwhelming me, and I feel myself sinking into yet another spiral of despair. I can't help but blame myself for the predicament in which I find ourselves; maybe if I hadn't agreed to this case in the first place... I mean, I could have refused it; as Senior Agent I always have a choice. But no, I was fascinated and intrigued by it, just had to dive right in; seeing it as a chance to get closer to Scully; to have some time away, even though we were investigating. And now, look at the mess we're in. I don't even know if I can get Scully back; bring her aground from whatever drug-soaked cloud she(tm)s floating upon; seems like I make matters worse every time I come near her. God, if I don't watch out I'll end up pushing her away forever - straight into the arms of a true predator. So I sit, and wait for Scully to return - wanting to go find her but afraid of what I'll find if I do. I have got to be careful; have got to remember that from now on most of what comes out of her mouth will be drug-induced... and all of what I say to her could very likely be repeated to Yidah. Jesus, I just realized - I can't say a word to her about my inheritance! I was going to tell her, even though I still have not been able to completely reconcile myself to being that unbelievingly rich. I was looking forward to sharing the news with her... but not now, no way. Not as long as she's under the influence; not as long as I can't trust her to be discreet. Ah shit, it's breaking me apart - the fact that I can't trust her. The pain of just that is bursting inside of me, and I find myself rolling into a ball of agony, trying to make myself so small that the pain won't be able to find me... moaning aloud when it does, with unerring precision. Scully, please... make it stop... make it stop hurting. Please... ~~~~~~ End of Episode 3, Part 5 of 18 From: TBishop27@aol.com Date: Thu, 10 Feb 2000 12:55:13 EST Subject: xfc: TANTRIC by TBishop and Char Chaffin Episode 3 (Part 6 of 18) NC-17 Source: xfc From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 3, Part 6 0f 18) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com CHAPTER 19 It's dark before I find the courage to venture back to camp. There's a steady rain falling now, but the winds have died back considerably. I'm drenched to the skin, but couldn't care less. After spending the last few hours sitting in the forest reflecting on the fight Mulder and I had, I'm fairly certain we've made a terrible mistake in ever giving in to our passions and believing we stood a chance at finding happiness together. I wanted him so badly that I convinced myself it was possible. But I knew better. I did. That's why I resisted it for so long. The tears I thought had finally subsided, begin spilling over my cheeks again as I walk back passed the main hut. Master Yidah is meditating by the front door. I don't see him, but he calls to me as I pass. "Dana?" When I turn around, he gets to his feet and comes over to me, leaving the dry overhang of the thatch roof to stand with me in the pouring rain. "My dear, I've been worried about you." It's difficult to face him after the day's events, even though I have no idea what actually occurred. "I'm fine, Master Yidah." "Oh, I am afraid far from it. The light is dim, but I am certain it is more than just rain wetting your lovely face." "I... I had a fight with Mulder." "No doubt. The man was out of control this afternoon when he interrupted the Awakening ritual and accused me of impropriety." It's said without malice, an observation rather than a judgment. How could Mulder see this man as anything but good? "I apologize for his behavior." "Please... there is no need. I understand completely why a man would have jealousy in his heart when his woman is one as beautiful as you. I only wish I had been able to explain to him that things were not as he believed." He puts his hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes and assuring me of his intentions. "I would never take advantage of my position as your mentor, Dana. I was merely performing the ritual as the Kama Sutra prescribes. It disturbs me deeply that you were taken from me before the Awakening could be achieved. I warned Mr. Mulder that interrupting the process put you at considerable risk, but that didn't seem to concern him." "I'm all right, really." "Please, come inside, there are things we must discuss." He extends a hand to me, and after a brief consideration, the thought of going inside the main hut, the peacefulness I have always found there, the tea that I'm certain will be offered, Master Yidah's comforting words to soothe me... I take his hand and let him lead me inside. The fire room is attended only by Manu, who, as expected, is ready with the tea the moment we sit down... Guru Yidah in his chair, I, his devoted student, kneeling comfortably at his feet. For several minutes we do not speak, Master Yidah prefers to regard me silently as I greedily consume the lukewarm beverage. Manu graciously refilling my cup each time it is empty. The Tagara smoke is thick tonight, the windows having been covered to keep out the driving rain. I think I am finally gaining a tolerance for the intoxicating combination of smoke and tea, for I am able to remained focused as Master Yidah begins, at last, to speak. "I am troubled, Dana," he tells me with a heavy sigh. "Concerned that your spiritual partner is not ready for the Tantra. You have made the commitment, but I do not see him as being prepared to do the same." I feel my heart sinking at his words, my own worst fears confirmed by someone whose life's calling is understanding the intricacies of personal relationships. "In fact, I question his commitment to YOU as well. My wife tells me he has propositioned her, and I have seen for myself the way he looks upon Madhu with the eyes of a would-be lover. Perhaps he is so suspicious of my intent because his own heart is less than pure." Suddenly I wish I was still under the influence of Master Yidah's powerful Awakening potion, blissfully ignorant of everything around me. I had suspicions that Mulder's interest in the Guru's wife went beyond his normal flirtatiousness. Yet I never allowed myself to go so far as to imagine he would actually have the gall to proposition her. Would he betray me so casually, after only such a brief time as we have been lovers? It hurts too much to think that he is capable of something so callous where I am concerned. Perhaps Madhu misunderstood his playful nature. I will let myself believe that because I cannot bear the thought of Mulder's disloyalty. "Your wife is a very attractive woman, but I'm sure she's faithful to you." "Oh, I have no doubt of my Madhu's fidelity. And the only reason I mention it to you at all is because love is a crucial element in Tantric practices. Are you certain that what you seek is offered by the man you have chosen to couple with? If Krishna takes you only as a possession, and not as his Goddess Radah, you will not be able to attain Nirvana. Samadhi cannot be found within a spiritual union that lacks love. You cannot unite with the universe if your energies do not flow together. I see his jealousy as a destructive force in your relationship. He perhaps fears his own worthiness as your lover, this leads to anger and resentment. Causes him to feel the need to take other women as an assurance of his sexual prowess. Such negativity as this cannot bring about the Awakening." My desperation is suffocating me. And this man who sits before me speaking with fatherly concern is the only one I can turn to for assistance now. He's the only one I can really trust anymore. "Please help me, Master Yidah. Tell me what I can do to change things. I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake, but the thought of losing him... I just don't know what I'd do without Mulder." The Guru nods in sympathy. "You must be certain that he is convinced of your love, Dana. And he must prove his commitment to you. If he agrees to join you in your journey to enlightenment, giving up his possessions as a pledge and covenant testifying to his love for you... this will bring you the oneness which you seek. This is the only thing that can solidify the bond between your psychic consciousness and his. You must persuade him, Dana, or you must let him go." End of Episode 3, Part 6 of 18 From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 3, Part 7 of 18) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com The thought that all is not yet lost, that there is some action I can take to prevent my world from crashing to an end, lifts me from the depths of my sadness and encourages me to seek out Mulder and do everything I can to persuade him that this place, this life, is what we both need. "Thank you, Master Yidah. I will find a way to make Mulder see the truth. You are very kind to council us after what happened today." A warm smile is given by this very wise and understanding man. I don't know what exactly happened when Mulder confronted him, but I'm fairly certain that the marks on Guru Yidah's neck would match the hand prints of my hot tempered partner. There is no further conversation between us, and I leave the hut hoping that I will find Mulder back at our shelter. The rain has let up somewhat, or perhaps I'm just not as aware of it's presence as I make my way purposefully toward the tiny lean to that has become our home. Mulder is there. He sees me approaching but makes no attempt to meet me, busying himself with one of the tie downs on the grass mat blinds that offer protection from the elements and a modicum of privacy from the others living on the island. His body language suggests he is still angry with me, but I know that this conversation can't wait. It is not until I am standing just inches from him that he acknowledges me in a cool and measured tone. "Finally decide to come back, did you?" He turns and looks into my face, something he finds there displeases him and I see him struggling with his anger once again. "I see you recreated a bit before you found your way home." "I was seeking advice from Master Yidah," I tell him honestly. A laugh of disbelief and a plea skyward is the reaction I receive. "Jesus! Didn't I get through to you at all today? After what the son of a bitch did to you, you'd go running back to him for advice?" He grabs both my arms and grips them hard, his fingers digging into me. "I want you to stay away from him, Scully, do you hear me? He fills your head with lies! I don't want him anywhere near you!" "Mulder, please... you're hurting me." He looks down at his hands as if he doesn't even realize what he's doing, then relaxes his hold and gently massages away his brutality. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... Sorry." "It's okay." I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest, listening to his rapidly beating heart. After the briefest hesitation, he welcomes me, enfolding me in his embrace and kissing the top of my head. "You know I love you, don't you, Mulder?" "Yeah," he whispers into my hair. I can feel his body starting to relax. A fraction of the day's tension slipping away as I hold him close. "And I believe that you really love me. I do... But believing and knowing are two different things." He tries to push back from me, but I refuse to let go. "What the hell does that mean? You want me to prove myself to you?" "A covenant. A commitment, Mulder. That's what I'm asking." Looking up at him I can see the confusion shadowing his handsome face. "Are you talking about marriage, Scully? If that's what you want..." "No." I cut him off quickly, afraid to hear what he was about to say. "I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear, am I?" "I'll do anything to prove my love to you." Oh, I hope so. I really do. "Then take the path to enlightenment with me. Commit yourself completely to the Tantra. Give up your material possessions and explore the spiritual realm with me. We will find our Nirvana, Mulder... together, me and you." He winces. "Scully... baby, that's not you talking. Christ, it's frightening what he's done to you. How quickly he's taken over your mind. It's scaring the shit out of me, seeing you like this. I've got to get you away from here, away from HIM, before it's too late." "You won't stay with me? You won't make the commitment I've asked of you?" There is pain cutting into the outline of his face, even the soft glow of torchlight can't disguise it. "I can't." The quickness of his denial is disheartening, but my determination is resolute. "Please, Mulder... for me?" And as I plead with him, my hands slip beneath his robe and I run my fingers over his lean hips, feeling the muscles twitch in his thighs as I gently tease him, bringing my hands near, but never touching the erection that's been announcing itself quite prominently against my belly since he first took me into his arms. "Oh, God..." He hisses, shuddering at the contact. "I promise you, if you stay here with me... if you make the commitment as I have, you won't regret for one minute your decision. I'll make it worth it, Mulder. I swear to you." And then I slowly sink to my knees, opening his robe as I go down, coming to worship him as the Kama Sutra instructs. My hands slide together around the Lingam of my Lord Shiva and I take him into my mouth, a Goddess offering pleasure to her God, performing the rite of Auparishtaka... determined to give Mulder a blow job so fucking incredible, he won't even remember how to say no. ~~~~~~ End of Episode 3, Part 7 of 18 From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 3, Part 8 of 18) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com ~~~~~~ My hands are twisted in her hair and hanging on for dear life. Every muscle in my body is tight, as if someone has strung me on a rack and just keeps cranking the wheel... I throw my head back and fight for every gasping breath... Jesus, it's my dream all over again - the dream that turned out to be reality; only this time I'm awake and Scully is kneeling in front of me, her small hands holding my ass tightly and her mouth... God, what her mouth is doing to me has to be against the law in at least twenty states. I'm in so deep, deeper than she has ever taken me - deeper than anyone has ever taken me. I don't understand how she can take me so... Oh, Christ! Is she... yeah, she is, God help me... she's swallowing my burning length inch by slow inch; I don't fucking believe this. I can feel her throat working as I slide in; can hear her breathing carefully through her nose, easing me down past her teeth, past her tonsils. I am all the way in; all ten inches and she's still swallowing me down; there's nothing left of me to take in except for my - Oh. My. Freakin'. Christ. My balls... they're in her mouth. I can't comprehend this; it's not possible. I stare down at her bright head in utter shock, unable to breathe; can't move; frozen in time and place as she gently rolls my balls around in her cheeks. There is no blood left in my head; all of it has flown south for the duration of the most astounding blow job I have ever received in this life and any past lives. And I remember the orgy we witnessed just a few days ago; how one of Yidah's women did this to him, as we watched; how we both got so hot watching it happen, how I couldn't help wondering how something like that would feel. And now I know... Now I know. Jesus, I know. Her throat ripples up and down the length of my cock, and her tongue strokes along the sensitive underside as she works me. My balls are on absolute fire; I can't possibly hold on for much longer; nothing I have ever felt could have prepared me for the searing good of this; nothing could ever feel better than this... ...Until I feel her slip an index finger inside me, crook it just a little, and begin to rub at me. And that tiny move does it for me; that small wiggle does me in, as my knees lock and my breathing stops and my entire body clenches tight and my eyes once again roll back in my head... and my cock bursts into living flame inside her dainty throat. She won't release me; she holds me tightly within her wet warmth as I gasp and groan and shudder my cry of release into the damp air; as she finally lets me slip from her mouth, I sink to my knees before her in a heap of rubbery arms and legs. I lay there, dazed and just about unconscious; unable to do any more than take in huge gulps of oxygen. After a minute, I feel her curl against me, and I raise a still-swimming head up enough to see her looking at me with heavy-lidded eyes, lips impossibly swollen and ruby red, still glistening - stunning... she looks stunning. And she smiles at me, and presses small wet kisses over my chest, and whispers to me softly - and as her words register in my fuddled brain, I realize two things simultaneously: Scully hasn't given up the ghost, not one bit - and I've been very thoroughly had... "All for you, Mulder... so much I can do for you, to you - all you have to do is promise me you'll stay here with me, and make a serious effort to learn from Master Yidah. That's all, my love... that's not so hard to do, is it? When the rewards are so great?" She holds my shocked stare with hers, eyes pleading, dark with residual passion - dilated with residual tea. "Mulder, please... stay here with me. Stay with me and Master Yidah..." Oh, God. I somehow find the strength to wiggle out from under her, to scramble away from this sensuous, seductive stranger with Scully's hair and Scully's beautiful body... but not her eyes, Jesus save me... and not her voice. Not her... not my Scully. I don't know this woman - I am beginning to wonder if I ever did. "Where did you learn how to do that, Scully? Better yet... who taught you?" I'm falling into a deep abyss, I can feel it - but I hang onto just enough of my sanity to ask questions to which the answers may very well kill me. Several feet away from where I am sitting, Scully is still on her knees on the mat, rounded eyes registering the impact of my words, mouth still swollen from her little 'workout'. It's taking every ounce of strength left in my body not to go to her, wind myself around her and vow never to leave again - but I can't. I won't - this isn't the woman I love beyond all reason. She's in there somewhere, hiding behind the Tagara and the tea and Guru Asshole's latest poisoning session... and she's screaming to get out, I swear I can hear her. I have got to break through even if it means I break Scully's heart first. I steel myself to do just that as I ask the question again. "Tell me, goddammit! Where did you learn that little swallowing trick!" "Does it matter?" That soft, reasonable little voice - it slices along my nerve endings and makes a beeline for my heart. Shit. I look at her - and suddenly all I see is the woman who ceased to be identifiable as Scully, ever since we hit this damn island - and who is now just "Dana". And I am beside myself; beyond the pale and sane, as I stare at her. "Hell yes, it matters!! I want to know, 'Dana' - I want to know just how far this groupie routine has taken you - I want to know just how deep that asshole has his claws into you. I want to know if there's anything left in there, of the Scully who told me she loved me beyond life itself, just ten short days ago, on Abaco. That Scully - the one who wasn't stoned out of her gills on green shit tea and stoked to the max on fucking Tagara smoke. The one who held me and kissed me and told me she'd never let anyone or anything come between us... who took me places I've never dreamed of going and who re-affirmed her commitment to me with every moan she sent into my heart when I was deep inside her, deep in the night. "I want to see her, Dana - I want to see Scully. Why don't you let her come out and play? Let Scully come out and face me and tell me everything's 'fine'? That all she wants is for me to remain on this damned island and sign away all my earthly possessions and drink lots of tea and let Guru Jerkwad do anything to us he damn well pleases!" I find myself crawling on my hands and knees as I speak; crawling toward this familiar stranger - and her eyes are huge now, and she's the one scrambling away from me, body skittering across the mat, unable to get a decent foothold as I catch one of her feet and tug hard on it, pulling her to me. "Scully, baby, you in there? It's Mulder... you know, Mulder; the one you 'Goddamn-to-hell' love... you better get out here, Dana's about to put an end to your existence as we both know it - all she needs is one more sip of shit tea and another 'hands-on' oil session with Guru 'Fuck-me'!" As those words leave my mouth, she lets out a howl of rage, and kicks at my hand until I let go of her foot; her little hand flies up and slaps my face, hard. I feel my head snap back as the pain of her palm connects with more than my cheek; and I rock back on my heels, hurt and stunned, as she hisses at me. "THAT'S ENOUGH, MULDER! How DARE you! Who do you think you're talking to? Whatever you may be thinking about this situation, I don't deserve this from you! We made promises to each other; I remember them well! Deep in that 'night' as you put it... I remember! We promised to explore our feelings and embrace the Tantra that night; we promised to open up our hearts and our minds to extreme possibilities - maybe we didn't exactly say the words to each other but that's what our bodies were saying... you promised to try; hell, I knew you were skeptical! But you promised... and as far as I am concerned you broke it big-time. You've resisted Master Yidah from Day one; calling him 'Yoda' and 'Yodel'; not taking the lessons seriously; not taking anything seriously! Dammit, Mulder, this is our future I'm talking about - and all you can worry about is how many times the Master has touched me; how he might have put a hand in an inappropriate spot on my body." "Well, let me tell you something, 'Baby'... at this point I think I'd rather feel his tender touch than your condemnation and derision! Your utter disregard for my need to take our relationship to another plane has me convinced that this was doomed from the start. I wanted us to find Nirvana together, Mulder - and if you take me only as a possession, and not as your Goddess Radah, we will not be able to attain Nirvana. Samadhi cannot be found within a spiritual union that lacks love. We cannot unite with the universe if our energies do not flow together..." My God. The words I am hearing - she's channeling that bastard! I cannot believe this. I scramble to my feet while she's still yammering on about jealousy and oneness and Awakening; her voice peters out as she finally notices that I'm standing over her with blazing eyes and clenched fists. She shrinks back a bit; this Scully is scared. Good. She ought to be. "I've HAD it, 'Dana' - I'm outta here. If I stay one more second and hear one more word out of your mouth that I know came straight from your goddamn guru, I won't be able to control myself. I am NOT taking this shit any further - and I am NOT signing over a damned thing. Get that straight in your head now - report it back to your 'teacher' as well, if you feel the need." "I'm going to meet with Madhu and find out what she has for me." And at the mention of Madhu's name, Dana's momentary fright-paralysis dissipates and she's on her feet facing me - and through her flaming anger and snapping blue eyes I see my Scully begging to come out and it almost weakens me and sends me to my knees in front of her... almost. But the words she spits at me reek of tea... and that cements my feet to the ground and keeps my legs from buckling under me. "Madhu, huh? I knew it! No surprise there, I guess - master Yidah was right! Yes, you go on, Mulder - go to your precious Madhu! Now that I've taken the edge off your lust, go ahead and go to her! I'm sure she can handle what little I've left behind... I'm sure she'll like it JUST FINE!!" She screams the last few words into my face, then turns and runs off in the direction of the wet beach. And I am too weary, and heartsick, to wonder at this moment why this Scully is suddenly so jealous of Madhu - or to wonder who got her that way. I yank on my robe and pull the sash tight, then go over to the main hut to demand some of my clothes, before I head to the lagoon, to meet Madhu in the darkening dusk. If I have to wear this robe one more day, I(tm)m gonna lose it even more than I have already. ~~~~~~ End of Episode 3, part 8 of 18 From: TBishop27@aol.com Tantric (Episode 3, Part 9 of 18) By Char Chaffin and T Bishop Category: MSR, X-File Rated: NC-17 Disclaimer: as stated in Part 1 Feedback: We'd love it! Char Char@chaffin.com Teresa TBishop27@mindspring.com CHAPTER 20 Wind once more driving the rain, the temperature having cooled considerably. My soaked robe is plastered to my body, clinging like a second skin as I fight to take each step, chilled and shivering, wandering aimlessly along the sands in the face of the tropical storm. Alone... I am completely alone. On the beach, just as in life, with no one to ease the pain that's threatening to swallow me up just like the surging tide. I've been walking the shoreline for what must be the better part of an hour, barely able to see through the darkness of this tempestuous night. Contemplating the thought of flinging myself into the raging surf, ending this endless waking nightmare that I call my life. But it's an exercise in futility. I couldn't... wouldn't ever do such a selfish thing. Mulder would be devastated to find my body washed up limp and lifeless on the sand, or if I went missing, he'd be left to wonder for the rest of his life... I couldn't do that to him, I couldn't... no matter how cruelly he's treated me. But in this moment of self-pity, I allow myself to wallow in the belief that there's a way out of it all. An escape from the pain that is tearing at my heart. I fantasize my end, looking into the black and foamy ocean, wondering at the peacefulness just below the surface. Picturing myself sinking deep into the comforting bosom of the sea, never to return. I've lost him. I am as sure of that as I have ever been of anything in my sad, pathetic excuse for a life. The way he looked at me, with such complete and utter disdain. Like he was sickened by the sight of me. It's as Master Yidah said, Mulder's jealousy has destroyed the bond that once existed between us. He has turned from me, to the arms of another woman, to prove himself. He cannot accept my love because he cannot return it. Having possessed me, he is all too soon ready to cast me aside. Master Yidah said I had to let him go if I couldn't win a commitment from him. And Mulder made it abundantly clear that he has no intention of continuing on this path with me. He stated, in no uncertain terms, that he would not sign away his material life for a spiritual one with me. My choices are few if not simple. I can leave Mohona, return to... to nothing... no money, no possessions, no career most likely after Agent Mulder turns me in for a psych evaluation... a lonely life without my best friend and partner at my side. Or I can stay here, where my needs are tended to, where my only responsibility is to seek the truth within myself, where I will be guided and nurtured by a wise and kindhearted guru to achieve Awakening with the universe and find my inner peace... where I can hide from everyone and everything, including myself. Either way, Mulder won't be a part of my life anymore. I have accepted that. It's really not much of a decision. Mohona is all I have left. And so I put my back to the bitter wind, determined to return and face the cold reality of Mulder's rejection and my new life as one of the disciples of Master Yidah. Just as I come back into the warm light of our makeshift village, I see Mulder exiting the main hut. He's no longer wearing the clothing given to us by the church. He's wearing his own jeans and button front shirt, looking like a tourist in a foreign land. He spots me immediately and rushes over to me, breathing hard, an anxious frown worrying his face. "Jesus, Scully, there you are! I was looking all over for you." He tries to embrace me, but I put out a hand to stop him. "Scully, let's get you into some dry clothes, then we need to talk. We've got trouble." "What?" The apathy with which I ask the question is plainly clear to both of us. He pulls me out of the rain, over by one of the storage huts. "Scully, Madhu never showed. She was supposed to meet me by the lagoon tonight. Jesus, you're freezing..." He brushes away the wet strands of hair that cling to my cheeks, a tender gesture that at one time would have touched me deeply, but now only fills me with sorrow. "I'm sorry your girlfriend stood you up, Mulder. But I don't see as that's my problem, so if you don't mind... " I pull away from him, intending to go to the main hut and meditate by the warmth of the fire, drink a little tea, lose myself in the Tagara for a while. But he has a vice grip on my arm. "Scully! She's gone! Don't you understand?" He stops himself and then continues in hushed urgency. "She was supposed to meet me and give me information that would implicate Masterbaetmi in the disappearances of the five remaining cult members. And now she's gone. I checked all over the camp, as much as I could around the lagoon... as soon as the damn storm lets up I'm going to search the rest of the island. I think your Guru-man may have done something to her." "ENOUGH!!! I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO ANOTHER WORD OF THIS!" I scream at him, covering my ears like a child. "Damn it, Scully, I need you with me on this. I need you, Scully... please." "Leave me alone, Mulder! If you want to leave Mohona, then go! I'm not stopping you! Just leave me alone! I'm no longer a part of your 'investigation'. You dropped me from the case if you recall. But since we're here, let's take this one step further, shall we? Agent Mulder, you can consider this my resignation from the Bureau. As of this moment, I am no longer an employee of the FBI. Our partnership is over, Agent Mulder. You'll have to find someone else to live in your shadow!" And with those cutting words, I break free of his hold on me and make a run for the main hut. He calls after me, "If it's the last thing I do, Scully, I'm going to prove to you that I'm right on this one!" ~~~~~~ End of Episode 3, Part 9 of 18 From: TBishop27@aol.com