From: donnilee@juno.com
Date: Tue, 20 Feb 2001 22:39:06 -0500
Subject: RE:  "S is for Suspense" by Donnilee
Source: direct

PART 5 (PG-13)
FOX MULDER'S HOUSE
GREENWICH, CONNECTICUT
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2001
9:00 AM

The sleep I got that night was sketchy at best.  I went over our
conversation a hundred times, reviewing every facial expression.  I
remembered every little touch, my thumbs on her collar bone, my lips
on her neck.  She hadn't pushed me away.

I taken the risk of the century telling her that I loved her, afraid
that I was moving too fast.  But the cat was out of the bag now and
there was nothing I could do about it.  I had meant to ease into
touching her more and talking to her more about what she meant to me,
what she did to me.  But one touch and I was lost, I wanted more.

How in the hell I managed to crawl off of her body after kissing her I
have no idea.  I could have pushed.  She would have kissed me again
I'm sure, but I didn't want her to regret anything later.  And she
hadn't really responded to my declaration of loving her, just
insinuating that she wasn't angry about the incident with Jodie.

Scully was still sleeping.  I had called Jodie a half an hour ago,
knowing she was an early riser and apologized for yelling at her again
and explained why I had flipped out on her.  She was amused at my mild
deception of letting her think that I was already romantically
involved with my partner.  All she said was, 'you always were a
dreamer.'

I was too.  For all my dark corners, I had a whimsical side too, that
allowed me to have an active imagination and very active fantasy life.
 The problem was most of my fantasies included Scully.  As time went
on, the fantasies weren't enough any more.  Now they definitely
weren't.  I strengthened my resolve to go back to my plan of wooing
her carefully, being gentle with my revealing of affection.  I loved
to touch, I always had.  I was starved for it.  Perhaps that was true
because of how little I was touched as a child.  I really didn't know
and didn't care.  But Scully wasn't so much of a tactile person.

But I wondered now if that wasn't a defense mechanism, removing
herself physically from temptation, she kept herself safe from the
tangling emotions that could ruin a career.  But she was softening, I
could tell by the touches she'd already allowed.  Being away from D.C.
was definitely a plus.  I wish we had a week here.  But Monday would
come quickly.  I had two more days to try and continuing the
'softening of Scully.'  I knew there was a soft, passionate woman
under all that gloss and professionalism.  I just had to be patient. 
I knew now that she was attracted to me.  That thrilled me to no end. 
But was there any more to it than that?

I had to believe there was.  Scully was not the type to have casual
relationships.  She wouldn't have kissed me just for a physical
thrill.  I know she wouldn't.  She would know it meant more to me than
that and wouldn't use me that way.  Of that I was sure.  I would be
dead from the waist down if I didn't find myself excited that she
liked my body or what I might be able to do for her physically.  But I
wanted her heart.  I knew now that I needed it.

Before now, I had been too afraid to try and go for the gold.  But
now, after last night, after that kiss, I felt confidence coming upon
me.  I felt hope.  That was something dismally lacking in my life
lately.  Yes, I felt hope and all that it could mean for a future for
me, for US.

I wandered downstairs and began preparing breakfast.  About 9:30 AM,
she wandered into the kitchen, looking adorable in an oversized plaid
flannel shirt and faded blue jeans.  She was wearing moccasins for
slippers with no socks.  She was wearing no make up and her freckles
sprayed across her nose and cheeks.  Her hair was tousled and wavy
from sleep.  She yawned behind her hand and then looked at me
sheepishly.  She almost looked like a little girl.  

Then she stretched up onto her toes, locking her hands together and
reaching for the ceiling.  She groaned with the delight of stretched
muscles and I couldn't take my eyes off her.  A slice of stomach skin
was exposed with her maneuver and my eyes riveted to her belly button.
 She lowered her arms and shook her head slightly as if to shake off
the sleep and looked up at me ... and froze.

I closed my eyes against the rush of blood below my belt and turned to
face the stove again, hoping to cover my arousal that was now obvious
in my sweats.  I should have put on jeans this morning.  They were
more uncomfortable when it came to erections, but they hid more.  I
cleared my throat.  "Good morning, sunshine.  Want some eggs?"  

I was a little alarmed at how low my voice was.  "Yes, please."

So polite.  Uh oh.  "The usual?"

"The usual?"

"Yeah, two eggs, over hard with hash browns, small orange juice and a
cup of coffee."

She chuckled.  "You really are paying attention, Mulder.  I'm
impressed."

"Did you think I was fibbing?"

"No, not really.  I forget how frightening your memory is sometimes. 
Makes me feel dumb as a stump sometimes."

I whirled my head around to look at her after flipping the eggs. 
"What do you mean?  You're easily as smart as I am, that's one of the
things I love about you.  You challenge the hell out of me."

She smiled.  "Maybe, maybe not.  But I don't have your memory and I
never will.  I wish I did."

"It's not all gravy, Scully.  Some things I'd give my eye teeth to
forget, believe me."

We lapsed into silence then and I finished cooking her eggs, spooning
up the hash browns from the other frying pan and placing the dish in
front of her with the small glass of orange juice.  My arousal was
under control now.  I poured her a cup of coffee, one sugar, and a
little cream and brought that over too and returned to cook my own.

"Thanks, Mulder, I'm hungry."

I smiled and finished cooking my own eggs, over easy.  I freshened up
my cup of coffee and joined her at the dinette table that sat off the
side of this enormous kitchen.  We ate in relative silence, except for
her saying that it tasted great.

When we were finished she asked, "So what's on the agenda for today?"

"I thought maybe we could go to Branford and Stony Point.  There are
some great houses out there with nautical themes.  I thought you might
like to see them.  We could go the Branford Crafts village.  There's a
great little restaurant there that serves gourmet lunches called
'Indulge'."

"Sounds great.  No hiking?"

"Let's save that for tomorrow."

"O.K.  What should I wear?"

"What you've got on is fine, but you might want some socks."  I winked
at her and she grinned.

"I'm not going out like this!"

"Why not, you look adorable in that oversized shirt."

Her mouth dropped open but then she closed it again, deciding not to
say anything.  She blushed instead and I smiled wider.  The next words
just slipped out of my mouth.  "God, Scully, I love being able to say
what's on my mind around you."

Both our smiles faded.  She looked at her plate but then raised her
head and looked at me again.  "I ... I like it too, Mulder.  Maybe
someday I'll be as brave as you are."

"You're not?"

"No, there are a lot of things that I think or that cross my mind but
don't come out of my mouth."

"Let them come out.  Your thoughts have always been a mystery to me. 
Not at work, or concerning work.  I can read you pretty good
concerning those things.  But, personally, what you think when you
look at me, I haven't a clue.  What you think about spending time with
me ... alone or outside of work, I haven't a clue, never have."

She was silent for a few moments and swallowed.  She licked her lips
and I smiled at her.  I could never get enough of just looking at her
face and now that I was 'allowed' to do it, I couldn't stop.  She
returned my smile.


"I feel a lot of things, Mulder, at different times.  I'm so used to
hiding, so used to ... presenting an image."

"I know you are.  But you do know by now that you don't need to do
that with me, don't you?  I won't hold it against you if you turn out
to be human."

"Hey!  What's that supposed to mean?"

I laughed.  She knew I was teasing.  "We all have emotions, Scully,
I've never quite figured out why you think yours are such a defect."

She sighed.  "You don't know what it's like to be a woman, Mulder."

I laughed then.  "No, I don't, thank God."

She chuckled a little.  "I mean a woman in a man's world, especially
in a man's working world."

"No, I don't, but I can understand it.  I've faced prejudgment, I've
faced prejudice and incredulity from my peers.  I've been ostracized
for no good reason, simply because I was different.  And ... I know
what it feels like to have people be threatened by your intellect."

"Yeah, I guess you can empathize, if not relate," she said.

"I know it's not the same, but they are shades of the same thing. 
They produce the same feelings, I would think."

"Probably."

"But you're right, as a man, there are things that I don't have to
worry about."

"Well, you do have to worry about being taken seriously."

I grinned.  "Not with you. Scully."

She smiled.  "Never with me, Mulder."


"That door swings both ways, Scully.  You don't have to worry about
showing yourself to me."

She grinned then.  "Oh, I'm sure I have to worry about showing myself
to you.  I trust you, Mulder, but I'm not quite sure I'm ready to face
consequences if I SHOWED myself to you!"

I burst out laughing.  She was actually flirting with me, turning my
words around and making them innuendo.  I couldn't believe it ... and
I loved it!

"Would you like to find out what those consequences would be, my
lady?"

She grinned.  "Not just yet."  She looked away from me.

"Not just yet, huh?"

"No, not yet."

I was careful to keep my voice teasing.  "Scully?  Does that mean that
you will show yourself to me someday?  Just ... not yet?"


She looked at me, struggling to keep the corners of her mouth from
turning up.  She blushed again and I couldn't get over how wonderful
it made me feel to know I was one making her blush.

She stood up abruptly and headed for the door.  She looked over her
shoulder and said, "Sooner than someday, Mulder, just ... not YET."

I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs as she gave me a saucy look over
her shoulder and bounced out of the room.   I sat there for several
minutes, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. 
'Sooner than someday ... sooner than someday.'  Oh God.  WHEN?!

XXXXXXXXXX
STONY CREEK, CT

I was having a ball.  Mulder had taken me on a tour of the peninsula
on the sound, a tiny Borough known as Stony Creek.  Houses with port
holes for windows and elaborate eves were the norm.  It was so ...
quaint.  

He wanted to take me to Branford for lunch, so we just got coffee at
the America's Cup Restaurant on the peer overlooking the water.  We
sat on the dock and watched the waves.  He pointed out the 'Thimble
Islands', and gave me the history.  There was actually a mansion on
one of those little islands, owned by someone lock, stock and barrel. 
It took up the whole island.  I was enchanted by this area, never
having known that the shore here was so rich in history and culture. 

XXXXXXXXXX
BRANFORD CRAFT'S VILLAGE
BRANFORD, CT

We made our way to Branford and cruised through several strip malls
before ending up in the Crafts village.  He bought me a little clock
made out of sea shells, with the figurine of dolphin over the face. 
At 1:00 PM, we finally went to lunch at the restaurant he'd told me
about.  

I burst out laughing when I saw the sign.  It was an oval wooden sign
with a large hog painted on it.  It hung over the door from the iron
trellis.  The tag line on it was, 'Those who Indulge, Bulge!'

We went in and feasted on broccoli strudel with flaky pastry crusts
and chocolate covered brownies for dessert.  I was moaning and holding
my stomach again as we walked out, much to Mulder's delighted teasing
and laughter.  I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun,
just relaxing, shopping and cruising around aimlessly.

I stopped by the car and turned to him, "God, Mulder, I'm having so
much fun!"  

He grinned and pressed his lips together to suppress a smile.  "I'm
glad, Scully."

"Why are you biting your lip?" I asked teasingly.

"Because my cheeks hurt."

"Your cheeks hurt?"

"Yeah, from smiling and laughing so much."

I giggled, a sound I rarely heard from my mouth anymore.  "Oh Mulder,
that's a sure sign that you don't smile enough.  Did you know that it
takes about 7 or 8 muscles to smile and 17 muscles to frown?"

"No, Dr. Scully," he said in a perfectly straight voice, "that medical
tidbit has escaped my encyclopedic knowledge of the anatomy of the
human face."

I giggled again as I slid into the car.  He slid behind the wheel and
turned to me.  "What now?  Anyplace you want to go?"


"You know the area."

"Feel up to another half hour drive to Waterford?"

"What's in Waterford?"

"Harkness Park, The Eugene O'Neill Theater, Crystal Mall, the largest
mall in New England, 3 square miles under roof, Scully!  A shopper's
dream.  You can shop till you drop there!"

I shook my head at him.  "I think I've spent enough money today," I
said, eyeing my packages in the back seat.  I'd bought shirts and
simple jewelry.  I'd picked up a candle in the shape of an owl for my
mother, and some children's books for my nephews."

He smiled.  "I'll buy you anything you want, Scully.  We could even
hit the Burlington Coat Factory, which is only about 20 minutes from
Waterford in New London."

"Whoa, whoa, since when do you offer to buy me things?"

"If I thought you'd accept them, I would have been buying you gifts a
long time ago."  He was perfectly serious now.

"Mulder, I don't want you to do that."

"I figured you'd say that, Scully.  I love you, kid, but you're not
very gracious at accepting gifts, you know that."

He was right.  I had made a fuss and argued with him about that stupid
clock for 20 minutes before giving in.  "Mulder, I just don't want you
spending your money on frivolous things, especially for me."

"Why not?  What else do I have to spend it on?"

"Mulder, come on, you don't make that much higher of a salary than me,
and I know you spend half of it on Armani suits and silk dress shirts.
 If I could only get you to spend it on some presentable ties, I'd be
in heaven."


He laughed.  Then he sobered as I watched him, not knowing what else
to say.  "I have money, Scully."  Simple, just a statement.  I wasn't
sure what he was getting at.


"What do you mean?  You save all your paychecks cause you never have
any fun?"

He shook his head, as though slightly exasperated.  "Scully, ... I'm
... uh, well off.  I don't work for the money."

I stared at him as the implications of what he was saying sunk in.  I
opened my mouth to ask another question, but then shut it, not really
knowing what I wanted to ask. 

He smiled, rather self consciously.  "Ask, Scully.  I know you want to
ask me something."

I took a deep breath.  "What are you trying to tell me, Mulder?"

"I'm trying to tell you that I'm ... wealthy, independently ...
wealthy."

I just stared at him.  "How wealthy?"

I felt like a jerk as soon as the words slipped out of my mouth.  He
smiled, amused by stunned reaction, I'm sure.  "I have enough money to
buy you pretty much whatever you wanted."

"Like what?"

"Anything, clothes, jewelry, cars, whatever."

"Cars!"

He smiled.   "Let's go to the mall, Scully.  Scratch the park, we'll
go hiking and have a picnic tomorrow.  Today, we go super normal and
hit the mall!"

I grinned at his enthusiasm as he put the car in gear and backed out
of our parking space, nearly squealing the tires as he peeled out of
the parking lot.  Now big malls, I'd seen, but I wasn't sure I'd ever
seen one quite this big.  He found a parking spot only about a quarter
mile from the entrance and we chuckled as we got out.  He made me
laugh when he put his hand to his forehead like a visor and scanned
the area as though looking at the horizon.  I wasn't used to Mulder in
a good mood.  I wasn't used to Mulder being playful and I was finding
that it was a huge turn on.

XXXXXXXXXX
CRYSTAL MALL
WATERFORD, CT

I took off at a trot for the door and he bolted after me, easily
catching me around the waist and lifting me off my feet.  I squealed
in mock horror and he swung me around in a circle, setting me back
down on my feet.  I turned to him, a huge smile on my face.  I should
have expected it, but I was totally taken off guard when he lowered
his head and laid his mouth over mine.  He pulled me to his chest and
kissed me deeply, his tongue poking my teeth, asking for entrance.  I
opened my mouth to lodge a protest about kissing in public.

His tongue slid inside and swirled around my tongue and I was caught
up in the tingling sensation that spread through me.  This was really
only the second time he'd kissed me for real and we were in the middle
of a mall parking lot.  Anyone could see us.  I feebly pushed on his
chest but then gave in, just not caring and kissed him back. He moaned
into my mouth and broke the kiss.

"Whew!" he exclaimed playfully.  "That was a mistake."

I looked at him with what must have been a befuddled look on my face,
because his smile faded and he said, "What?  Did I cross an invisible
line?"  He dropped his arms.

I couldn't think of an answer.  I didn't know what the hell I was
feeling, except that I was shocked by his boldness.  He muttered,
"Sorry, Scully.  I shouldn't have ... sorry, I didn't think ..."

I shook my head, deciding I wasn't going to make a major deal out of
it.  I had enjoyed the kiss, I'd just been totally taken off guard by
it.  "It's O.K., Mulder, you just ... shocked me was all.  I didn't
expect it."

He smiled tentatively.  "I'll be more careful."  

I nodded and his eyes darted away from me.  No, no, this wouldn't do
at all. I was not going to let this little things ruin the day.  I
reached up and palmed his cheek, turning him to look at me.  "It's
O.K., Mulder, really.  Come on.  Let's go shopping.  First, I want to
find a coffee shop.  I'm dying for a good cappuccino."   

He grinned and started to step away from me.  Impulsively, I grabbed
his hand and laced my fingers between his.  His large warm hand
engulfed mine.  He stared at our entwined hands and looked up at me
and back at our hands several times, as if he couldn't believe I'd
done that.   A slow smile crept across his face.  I was telling him
that I really wasn't upset, not just saying that to make him feel
better.  He nodded, almost imperceptibly and we headed into the mall,
hand in hand.

I was surprised at how much this simple thing brought me so much ...
happiness.  I liked being away from D.C. and not working.  We knew
nobody here.  And although it was always a possibility that we were
being watched, it was unlikely.  I couldn't remember the last time I'd
been able to just simply hold a man's hand and revel in the feeling of
being so comfortable with myself and with another person.

He was obviously delighted by the gesture and periodically squeezed my
hand gently as if to remind himself that we were really holding hands.
 

We walked, window shopping.  He never let go of my hand, he used the
free one to point at things.  He bought a new pair of Ray Bans and
modeled them for me, strutting around until I was breathless giggling.
 Then we went on and he stopped dead suddenly and turned to me with a
mischievous grin.

"What, Mulder?  I don't like that smile.  What are you up to?"

He grinned wider and pointed ahead of us a couple of stores up. 
'Victoria's Secret.'  I looked at the store and back to him.  He was
biting his lip and he looked so damn cute I just wanted to hug him. 
His eyes sparkled with anticipation.  "Mulder, I don't wear that
stuff!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's not ... me!"

He leaned over to whisper in my ear.  "Or is it just that you haven't
had anyone to wear it for lately."

I shivered.  "I don't ... I don't know.  I'd feel silly."

He straightened up to look in my face.  "I want to buy something for
you."

"NO, Mulder!"

"Yes, Scully."

"Even if I won't wear it?"

He paused.  "Even then, but I bet you'll wear it, you won't be able to
resist.  Even if you won't wear it for me, some quiet night, you'll
see it sitting there in your drawer and you won't be able to resist
putting it on."

"Why would I do that?"  I wouldn't admit it, but the idea of modeling
lingerie for Mulder was more than a little titillating.  I knew the
kinds of movies he watched and was a little frightened about what he
might pick out for me.  

"So you could feel sexy."

"I'm not like that."

"Not like what?"

"I'm not like ... I'm not a ... sexy type of woman."

He laughed and looked at me like I had two heads.  "You're incredible,
you know that?  You're the sexiest woman I've ever known and you have
absolutely no clue what you look like to other people, do you?"

I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. I was just NOT used to
hearing these kinds of things from ANY man, let alone Mulder and it
was throwing me completely off my beam.  I had no prepared responses
to comments like this.  I didn't know how to react.  He shook his
head, "Come on."

He pulled my hand and I followed him helplessly down the corridor and
into Victoria's secret.  He was very thorough, going through the
racks, and the shelves, holding things up and discarding them.  
Despite my earlier reticence, I found myself, looking at some teddies
with matching panties.  They were more like camisoles.  I could even
wear them under a blouse if I wanted to.  That would be interesting to
wear something that silky and sexy under a staid wool suit to work.  

I heard him make a sound akin to 'Ah, ha!' I turned around and he was
holding up a royal blue teddy with adjustable spaghetti straps and
matching silky pants that looked almost like running shorts.  Only,
they were short, shorts!  The neck line was low cut with matching lace
trimming the bodice. He laid them against his chest and eyed me,
waggling his eyebrows and I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head. 
"You're incorrigible, Mulder!"

He stepped over to me and held it up against me.  "It'll fit perfect,"
he declared.  "And it will make your eyes glow so blue."

I couldn't get over the compliments he was showering on me and his
romantic little statements.  I guess I knew all along that he had it
in him.  But he'd never thought he could get away with it, now he
thought he could and I was being overwhelmed at being treated this
way, by Mulder, especially.  I wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

I stuttered out, "How?  How do you know ... it'll fit perfect?"  

He grinned and looked at the tag,  "Size 6, 36C cup, panties are
elastic waist.  Perfect."

My mouth dropped open.  "How the hell did you know my bra size?"  He
really grinned then.  

"You don't really want me to answer that question, do you?" he
quipped.

I shook my head.  "No, I guess I don't."

He laughed and turned on his heel, heading for the register.  Well, at
least he hadn't bought anything too outrageous.  He waved me over and
I stood next to him, trying to avoid eye contact with the sales clerk.
 He said, "Go grab those coffees, there's a coffee kiosk right down
the hall here.  I'll be there in a minute."

I nodded, grateful for the chance to escape.  I was suddenly
embarrassed to be standing there having Mulder buy me 'unmentionables.
'  I realized this was no time for my Catholic sensitivities to rear
their ugly head, but sometimes I couldn't help it.  And it wasn't as
if I knew the sales clerk or would ever see her again.  She was a
young girl wearing too much make up and lip stick, chewing gum like a
cow and batting her eyelashes at Mulder.  She was one girl I wasn't
worried about competing with and I turned and headed for the coffee
bar.

I had ordered, waited and received our coffees and was sitting at a
small table with stools bolted to the floor nearby by the time he
emerged and came toward me carrying a shopping bag with handles.  He
smiled and slid onto the stool, taking his coffee.  "Hey Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to ask you something and I don't want you to freak out on me,
O.K.?"

I looked at him sternly.  "Mulder, just because I let you buy that
teddy for me doesn't mean that I want you to suddenly go wild."

He gave me his wide eyed innocent look and I struggled to maintain my
stern countenance.  "I want to get you something else, just because I
want to, and I don't want you to ... read anything into it."

"Uh oh, you're scaring me now, Mulder."

He grinned.  "I want to take you into ... Kay's Jewelers and buy you a
ring."

I gasped.  "Mulder!"

"Not that kind of ring," he said quickly.  "Just a ring, any ring you
want.  Maybe something with your birthstone, a dinner ring, or
something.  Something fancy, frivolous that you wouldn't buy for
yourself."

I was shaking my head.  This was getting out of hand.  "No, Mulder! 
Absolutely not.  You are not going to do this!"  His face fell and he
looked away from me.

"Damn it, Mulder!"  I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. 
"It's not that I don't appreciate it, what you're trying to do, but
... but ... it's too much!  And I'd feel funny. And nothing is just
'frivolous' between us.  Everything with you means something else, and
I ..."

He turned to look at me and I was stunned at how hurt he look.  Why? 
His voice was tight and slightly forced and I winced hearing it.  "I'm
glad you think that nothing is 'frivolous' between us, Scully. 
Really, I do.  But everything with me DOES NOT mean something else. 
I've always been honest with you and I'm ... being honest now.  It's
just something I want to do ... just because I CAN, and I want to do
something nice for you."

"Oh, I know Mulder, but jewelry is so ... personal."


He looked almost stricken and then my heart sunk as I saw his blank
mask fall into place.  His voice was the calm monotone he used to
cover his hurt, "Gee, Scully, I'm sorry.  Lord knows, we wouldn't want
to get too personal."

"Mulder, damn it!  Why do you always have to take things the wrong
way?  Why are you so damn sensitive?  Nothing I've said here was said
to wound you or make you feel ... bad.  It's me, Mulder.  ME!  I'm not
good at ... accepting gifts like that."

He stared at me for a few seconds.  Despite his hurt, he would not
look away.  Then he said, "Why?"

I shook my head, trying to think of a way to say  what I felt.  I was
not very good at this.  "I don't know.  I've always felt that ... when
someone gave me something ... really nice, that I owed them something.
 Or at least in the past, that's what always happened.  The men in my
life would try to buy my affection.  They would bring me to dinner,
buy me gifts and then be pissed off when I wouldn't jump in the sack
with them.  It's not that I'm frigid or anything.  I just wasn't the
kind of girl to jump that deeply into a relationship quickly."


I looked up and if it was possible, he looked even more stricken than
before.  What did I say now?  His voice was a hoarse whisper.  "You
put me in that category, Scully?  You think I'm trying to buy your
affection?  You think I'm going to expect something in return? 
Because if you do, then you don't know me at all."

I shook my head 'No.'  "That's not it, Mulder.  My reaction is a ...
Pavlovian response.  It's automatic, it's what I'm used to.  I just
responded the way I always have, based on my past experience, not even
thinking about the fact that ... I know you're different, Mulder. 
Please, you have to believe that I know that.  And I wasn't
insinuating that you were like them.  But I ... "

"Didn't think," he finished for me.

I nodded.  "Whenever somebody offers to buy or buys me something nice,
it's like this automatic defense reflex flares inside me.  I don't
know why I didn't seem to make a distinction with you.  I'm sorry. " 
I hung my head, looking intently at my coffee cup.

He was silent for several moments and then said, "We're both wrong,
Scully.  You're wrong because I'm your best friend and you should know
that I would never be so shallow with you.  And I'm ... well, I'm way
too damn sensitive.  You're right about that.  My problem is that ...
"

I looked up.  "What?  Go on."

He took a deep breath through his nose, pressing his lips together. 
His voice dropped to just above a whisper again.  He was looking at
the table as though if he couldn't see my face it would be easier to
speak.  I knew the feeling.

"I want so much ... for you to ... believe in me."  I opened my mouth
to protest and he glanced up, placing two fingers over my lips after
reaching across the table.  I closed my mouth and nodded, indicating
that I would be quiet, for the moment.

"It never mattered to me before you came along whether or not anyone
believed in me or not.  It never even mattered to me whether anyone
liked me or not.  I couldn't have cared less.  But then you came
along, Scully, and you ... crawled under my skin.  I would catch
myself acting like a little kid that wants approval from a parent." 
He paused.  He flashed me a grin.  "Even though my feelings toward you
were anything but parental."

I grinned back.  He continued.  "But ... the more I ... fell for you,
the more I wanted to be a better ... person.  I wanted to be the
person that you believed me to be, even though I knew in my heart you
were operating under this illusion that I was noble or ... a good
man."

I opened my mouth again but he shook his head to indicate that I
couldn't speak yet.  This was getting frustrating.  "I'm not a good
man, Scully.  I haven't been a good man in long time.  I've lived my
life entirely for selfish purposes.  I've used people, the Bureau's
resources, whatever anyone would give me to further my cause.  Even
you, Scully.  I even used you."

Now I couldn't stay quiet.  "Mulder, no!  You are the most honorable
man I know.  At least you're honest about your goals and your purposes
and your feelings.  You never hid your agenda from me!  And you didn't
use me, I was sent to you.  And I wanted to be there and I wanted to
stay.  Asking me to do my job is not using me, Mulder."

He smiled a self-deprecating smile then.  "I've asked you to do a lot
more than your job, Scully, and you know it."

I looked him in the eye.  "And I've asked the same of you, Mulder. 
But that's because we became friends, more ... than just work partners
... a long time ago.  And that's what friends do, they are there for
each other.  You've easily been there for me as much as I've ever been
there for you."

He shook his head.  "I don't want to argue the fine points right now,
Scully.  I'm getting off track.  The point of this conversation is
that I've been trying to be better.  I've been trying to be the kind
of man you could be ... proud to be with, proud to work with.  When
I'm with you, it matters to me that you trust me, like me and know
that I would never hurt you.  I would never intentionally use you or
... be shallow with you.  You've done so much for me, and I don't mean
just the work.  I mean that I like who I am when I'm with you.  I like
the person I want to be when I'm with you."

He paused again, looking over my shoulder but then brought his eyes
back to mine.  "I feel indebted to you for that.  I don't mean I OWE
you, " he continued as I shook my head.  "I mean I feel like you've
given me something priceless.  You gave me, ... ME ... Scully.  You
helped me figure out who I am and who I want to be outside of my
obsessions.  And I can never really repay you for that.  But when I
have the opportunity to do something nice for you, I want to do it. 
Not because I want to buy your affection ... or whatever.  But just
because it pleases me to PLEASE YOU."  He paused again.  "I wait all
day sometimes just to see one of your smiles.  And if I haven't seen
it by the end of the day, I start making stupid jokes just to see if I
can provoke one."  

His voice trailed off over the last sentence.  I felt the tears sting
my eyes.  God, had he ever said anything sweeter?  Had he ever made me
feel so adored?  My lord, he really did adore me.  He loved me yes,
and he loved me not just as a friend.  I knew that now.  But he also
adored me."

"Mulder ... you scare the shit out of me."

He looked amused for a second.  "Now that I can believe."

We both chuckled.  "I mean, it scares me that you put me on such a
pedestal.  I'm not perfect, Mulder.  And someday I'll fall off ... and
disappoint you.  God, I never want to disappoint you, Mulder."

He grinned.  "Not logistically possible, Scully.  You're incapable of
disappointing me."

"Don't be too sure about that."

"Oh, you're capable of hurting me.  You hurt me constantly,
unintentionally.  But there's nothing you could do that would let me
down or disappoint me.  I have faith that you will always be YOU.  You
stick to your beliefs and you don't let others sway you.  I can count
on that.  I know you.  None of us is perfect, Scully.  But some of us,
like you, are a lot more perfect than the rest of us."

I laughed now.  "You're good for my ego, Mulder."  He smiled.  My
smile faded as I latched on to the other part of what he had said. 
"How do I hurt you, Mulder?  I don't mean to ever hurt you."

He hesitated.  "I know.  But you can't help it.  It's who you are and
I love you for that too."

"You didn't answer my question."

He sighed.  "Every time you won't let me comfort you, hold you when
you're upset, you hurt me.  Every time you are in pain and won't let
me take care of you or help you, you hurt me.  I know you don't mean
it this way, but it's like you don't trust me to take care of you. 
It's like you think I'm going to hold it against you for being human,
like every other asshole you've ever let into your life."

"It has nothing to do with my trust in you, Mulder."

"I know, but that doesn't make it easier.  It's like you don't want to
be vulnerable in front of anyone and I can understand that.  I love
your strength.  But I also need to feel mine sometimes.  And nothing
makes me feel better, more worthwhile, than knowing Dana Scully trusts
me enough to be vulnerable in front of me.  I was so ... grateful ...
that you broke down with me last night."


I didn't know what to say.  "Don't misunderstand me.  I don't enjoy
your pain.  Never.  I feel your pain and constantly wish I could take
it away from you.  But I also felt worthwhile.  I felt like you were
finally letting me help you.  You were finally trusting me to be
completely open and vulnerable and trust that I would never hurt you
with that knowledge you were giving me."

I just stared at him, never having realized how significant my crying
about Emily had been to him.  I couldn't manage to talk very loud, but
I did manage to talk above a whisper.  "When you were holding me ... I
felt safe, Mulder.  I felt like I could let go and you would catch me,
no matter how far I fell down into the pit of despair.  God, it hurts
so much to think about Emily and what might have been.  But you were
right.  I grieved but in a destructive manner.  I didn't let anyone
share it with me.  I think maybe I thought I deserved to be punished,
like I was responsible for not saving her somehow, like there had to
be something I could have done."

"There wasn't Scully, and none of that was ever your fault."

"I know that intellectually.  I guess that I want someone to blame and
blaming myself is the easiest thing to do."

"Blame the men that took you.  Blame me for letting them take you, but
never blame yourself, Scully."

"Oh no, if I'm not allowed to blame myself, then neither are you.  I
won't have it."  He smiled at my no nonsense voice.

I continued.  "The point was that I do trust you, Mulder.  I do know
that you would never hurt me intentionally or use my weaknesses
against me.  But old habits die hard."

"I know.  I have a few bad ones to break myself, self-flagellation
apparently being one of them."

I grinned.  "Maybe we can work on them together."

"Hmmm, together, yeah, that sounds good, Scully.  And by the way, your
feelings are NOT weaknesses, Scully.  My first order of business
should be to help you realize that feeling things and showing those
feelings only means one thing."

"What's that?"

"That you are human like the rest of us, and ... that you care. It
means you care, Scully, and there's nothing wrong or weak about that."
 

I stood up and slid out off my stool, pivoting around the little
table.  He raised his eyebrows in question and spun on the stool.  I
stepped neatly between his legs and wrapped my arms around him.  His
went around my shoulders and pulled me against his chest.  He sighed. 
"God, I love being able to do this, public or no."

I chuckled.  "It will have to stop when we get back to D.C."

"I know, no PDAs in D.C., but let me enjoy it for a while, huh?"

I hummed in the back of my throat and lifted up on my toes to reach
his neck, placing a soft kiss on his jugular.  I didn't miss the
shiver that ran down his spine.  He looked down at me, a soft smile on
his lips.  "I love you, Scully."

I felt the tears again and blinked furiously to hold them back. 
"Mulder, I ... please, when you say that ... I "

"Feel like you should respond?" he finished for me.  I nodded. 
"Don't.  I don't expect you to respond.  Just accept it, O.K.  Now
that I CAN say it, I WANT to say it.  And I don't want you to ever say
anything you don't mean."

I nodded.  "I won't.  You know I won't."

He gave me a quick, tight squeeze and slid off his stool with me in
his arms.  He draped his arm over my shoulder and picked up the
shopping bag with his free hand.  "Let's get out of here."

"Yeah, I've had enough fun for one day."  He chuckled and began
ushering me through the crowd.


PART 6 (NC-17)
FOX MULDER'S HOUSE
GREENWICH, CONNECTICUT
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2001
6:00 PM

God, what a day.  My emotions had been in turmoil all day.  I'd had
such a good time and I felt funny about that.  I don't know why
exactly, except to say that I wasn't used to being with Mulder outside
of work.  Even then, we talked about work.  Yesterday and today, we'd
talked very little about it.  We'd just been two normal people, out
shopping and seeing the sights.  It was a pathetically normal thing to
do and it had been exhilarating.  

It also made me a little sad.  We didn't do this enough.  It also
reminded me of what I was missing by pursuing a career in the X-Files.
 I wanted more weekends like this to recharge my batteries and not
worry about being spied on and global governmental conspiracies.  And
I was hard pressed not to do something about my attraction to my
partner.

I think despite my jealousy of all the other woman that had come and
gone in his life, somewhere in the back of my head, I knew he loved
me.  And not just as a friend.  But knowing for sure and hearing the
words had an almost magical effect on me.  It was as though all my
fears and objections were melting away.  I knew I loved him, but
somehow I couldn't summon the courage to tell him.  I thought about
how unbelievably brave it was for him to tell me, knowing that I
probably wouldn't return the sentiment.

Of course, he'd had the added incentive of fearing Jodie would blurt
it out in front of me.  But still, he could have skirted the issue
easily enough.  I was never one to push him emotionally and he knew
it. Then again, we could have flown up here Sunday night or Monday
morning, but he'd invited me to spend the weekend here instead.  Maybe
he'd been planning this all along.  No, he'd said he just wanted us to
relax and be away from the city.  And I was relaxing, despite the
roller coaster my emotions seemed to be on. 

We skipped cooking and ordered a pizza.  He ran out to get it and
returned shortly.  We ate in the living room again.  I was full and
mellow.  He lit a fire in the fireplace and then returned to recline
on the couch again.  I turned and studied his face as he slouched
there, his eyes on the ceiling, seemingly looking at nothing.  We were
not uncomfortable with the silence.  My eyes were drawn first to his
long eye lashes and the lock of hair falling across his forehead. 
Then I looked at his lips and remembered the feel of them, warm and
soft, moving across mine and shivered.  I'd turned to mush on this
couch last night.  And if he'd kept going, I can't say that I would
have been able to stop him.

But he had stopped.  I wasn't really sure why.  Maybe he was waiting
for me, some sign from me.  I was clueless what that might be.  Not
that I wasn't glad that he had pulled away.  Or was I?  I watched his
Adam's apple bob slowly as he swallowed and closed his eyes, sighing
gently.  I remembered the taste of his salty skin on my lips, and the
rapid beat of his pulse on my tongue.  God, how that had excited me,
knowing his heart was racing just as fast as mine.  The feel of his
weight on my body had been warm and delicious.  I wanted to feel it
again.

The longer I sat there staring, the more I wanted to touch him, feel
his skin under my hands, explore the planes of his chest and the
tendons in his neck.  Unbeknownst to me, I must have moaned quietly,
because his head snapped to the side, catching my eyes in one silent
heartbeat.  I watched as his lips parted, just a sliver of those white
teeth showing.  His eye lids grew heavy as his breathing increased and
his pupils dilated in the firelight that was dancing shadows across
his handsome face.

He didn't take his eyes off my face, but they did wander to my lips
and back up to my eyes.  Asking.  He was asking with his eyes, without
saying a word.  I marveled again, how open he was being.  He was
making no attempt to hide and I was suddenly humbled by the bravery of
that gesture.  It was the ultimate gesture of trust, he was right.  He
allowed himself to be vulnerable with me often.  I rarely let myself
be the same with him.

I wanted to be.  Did I trust him that much?  Yes, I did.  I truly did
believe that habit was the only thing that kept me reacting to him the
same way I did to the past men in my life.  But that was extremely
unfair.  Not only was Mulder UNLIKE anyone in my life before or since,
he was an anomaly in a category all by himself.  He was brilliant,
kooky, intense, sexy, giving, generous.  And he could be mine if I
wanted him.

And oh I wanted him.  Could I be as brave?  I smiled suddenly as I had
the thought that I didn't want to be outdone in this, or less brave
than he.  True, this situation was completely different than chasing
mutants and killers.  But I'd spent the last seven years trying to
prove myself, and I think I'd done a pretty good job.


This man was in love with me.  He adored me.  I could see desire
shining out of his eyes at this very moment and the intensity of his
regard was overwhelming.  I felt my breathing speed up to match his as
my chest grew warm.


His voice was like sand paper when he finally spoke and broke the long
silence between us.  "Do you have any idea ... how much I want you?"

I gasped slightly, feeling my nipples harden below the plain white bra
I was wearing.  Could I say it?  What was I feeling right now? 
Simple.  Just say it, I told myself.

"Probably about as much as I want you," I whispered.  His eyes closed
and he gulped.  His eyes fluttered open again and focused on my face.

"Do you?" he asked tentatively, as if he was amazed to hear those
words coming out of my mouth.  I know I was!

There was no way I could deny it now, no way I could lie.  "Yes." 
Anyone else would have pounced.

Oddly, neither of us moved.  We just sat there staring at each other
for a few minutes, soaking up the feeling of being able to say these
things aloud.  Silent communication was wonderful, but there was
something about hearing the words that made the feelings real and
right out there in front of your face.  You couldn't turn away once
you'd said the words.  I hadn't said I loved him.  But I'd told him I
wanted him.  That was a step in the right direction.


But unlike times past, when we merrily ignored the signs and
admissions that we made to each other, this time, I wanted action.  No
more denial.  No more pretending it wasn't there.  I stood slowly and
his eyes followed me. I had a wicked idea and suddenly found it
irresistible.

"Stay here," I murmured.  He nodded and I heard him moan softly as I
left the room as his head hit the back of the couch again.  I grinned
to myself, scooping up the bag in the kitchen and bolting for the
bathroom.

I gasped when I upended the bag onto the counter in the bathroom.  Not
only was the teddy and panties in there, but he had purchased a garter
and navy blue silk stockings to go with it.  No wonder he sent me
ahead for coffee, the sneak.  I shook my head in wonder.  God, could I
really wear this?

What would his face look like if he saw me in it?  My hands shook as I
shucked off my sweater and bra, then my jeans and sneakers.  I put the
garter on first and cursed as my hands continued to shake as I slid
the exquisite silk over my legs and captured the top in the tiny
plastic clasps.  I put the panties on over it.  They hung lose like
running shorts over the stockings.  I felt slightly silly, standing
there with just that on and quickly pulled the teddy over my head,
adjusting the straps.

I turned to look in the mirror.  Color was high in my cheeks and my
eyes looked glassy.  My nipples were hard and tingling from the feel
of the silk rubbing lightly against the tortured peaks.  Shoes, I
needed shoes.  Damn!  They were upstairs.  I stowed my clothes in the
hamper in the corner and bolted out of the bathroom nearly slipping
onto my ass as I hit the hard wood floor in the foyer and bolting
around the corner and up the stairs.  I quick glance showed him still
in the position I had left him, head tipped back, eyes closed.  Phew! 
He didn't see me.

I went to my room and retrieved the 3" black pumps I had packed for
Monday when I donned my G-woman suit to start this investigation.  I
slipped them on, feeling deliciously wicked.  I had a stab of Catholic
guilt and fear.  Good girls weren't supposed to intentionally turn men
on.  I'd always harbored the heretical thought that men in the church
made up that rule just because they weren't getting any and didn't
want the temptation.  I shook my head to relieve it of all thoughts in
that vein.  That way lay madness.  No more second guessing.

I was still trembling slightly as I made my way carefully back
downstairs, clinging to the railing until my knuckles turned white.  I
walked on my toes, careful not to let my heels touch the wood floor
and make noise.  I nearly sighed when I reached the deep pile shag
carpet of the living room and let my heels rest a second.  My legs
were trembling and I took a silent deep breath and a couple of careful
steps until I was standing about a foot from the coffee table.  He had
put his stocking feet up on it and I took a moment to admire the way
his jeans hugged his thighs, muscular from running.  He had taken off
his sweater when he got home and his snug tee shirt molded to the
muscles in his chest.  

I felt a moment of panic as I looked down at myself, feeling goose
flesh in spite of the fire and silly all of a sudden.  Clamping down
once again on my fear I said his name very quietly.  "Mulder."

His eyes slipped open slowly.  One beat of silence and they popped
open, his legs crashing into the coffee table as he slid them to the
floor.  He gasped loudly and his mouth fell open. He grabbed the edge
of the coffee table, as if for support and stared. 

And stared.

And stared some more.  The only noticeable activity was a marked
increase in his breathing tempo, and a pink flush to his neck and
cheeks. Finally he licked his lips, his eyes traveling down to my feet
and back up to my face for about the tenth time.  I felt my amused
smile creep across my face watching his reaction with not a little
fascination.  I was amazed that he was so struck by my appearance. 
And I felt a rush of elation.  He stood up, not even trying to hide
his arousal, and placed a palm over the bulge in his crotch, groaning
loudly, never taking his eyes off me.  

I felt the scarlet flush rush up my chest, through my neck and spread
over my face like wild fire.  This was better than I could have hoped.
 He was so turned on!  I was embarrassed but excited at the same time
and felt my breasts grow heavy as he took a step towards me.  He
whispered, "Scully, you look too beautiful to be real."

He reached for me and buried his fingers gently in my hair, moving in
slow motion.  I could feel the heat rolling off his body in waves and
shuddered under the assault of sensation.  "Does this mean what I
think it means, Scully?"

I found my mouth suddenly didn't have a speck of saliva.  I hastily
licked my lips and looked up to find his eyes riveted on my mouth.  I
nearly swooned from the look of the desire on his face.  He was so
sexy.  I know I'd never met anyone that could affect me this way, with
just a look.  Knowing he wanted me like this was an aphrodisiac all by
itself.  I swallowed and still couldn't talk, a small squeak escaping
the back of my throat. 

I finally gave up and just nodded in the affirmative.  A breath I
didn't realize he was holding whooshed out and his head began to fall
toward mine.  He captured my bottom lip between his and ran his tongue
over the inside and then suckled it back into his mouth.  I moaned as
arousal flushed through my body and pooled below my navel.  I swayed
and he stepped into me, wrapping one strong arm around my back to
support me.  Good thing, or I probably would have toppled right off
these stupid heels.

His kiss was slow but became more insistent and soon our tongues were
dueling for supremacy of the kiss.  I decided, much to my surprise,
that I rather liked Mulder taking the lead here.  I'd started it but
now I wasn't sure how to proceed.  It didn't feel like I was going to
have to do much steering.  Especially if I gave him the green light. 
This way he could do what he wanted and I could learn.

I'd always harbored a secret fear that I wouldn't admit to anyone.  I
never thought my body would stack up to the long legged, big breasted
woman that always seemed to turn men heads.  I was short, red headed
and although proportional, I wasn't overly busty.

The moment our chests made contact, I felt his heat wash over me
again.  I pulled at his tee shirt and he whipped it over his head.  He
pulled back and stood panting, looking at me.  "Slow, we have to go
slow.  I want to remember every second of this."

I smiled, waiting.  He reached for me again but then stopped, arms
mid-air.  "Scully, what do you want?"

I grinned.  "Same thing you want."

He chuckled.  "Could you be more specific?"  I laughed out loud then. 

"Mulder?"

"What?"

"It may be different later, but tonight ..."

"Tonight?"

"You're in the driver's seat.  I want you to drive this train."

His eyes closed and opened again, his breath whooshing out again, a
tug playing with the corners of his mouth.  "Are you sure?"

I looked him straight in the eyes.  "Positive."

He hummed in the back of his throat and stepped towards me bending
down.  Before I could discern his purpose, he scooped me up, one arm
behind my back, the other under my knees.  I whooped loudly and then
laughed as he hefted me easily and walked towards the stairs.  "If I'm
going to make love to the woman of my dreams, I'm damn well not going
to do it on a couch," he quipped.

"Aw, Mulder, the couch has a certain charm," I teased. 

He grinned.  "Lots of pieces of furniture can have charm and I'd be
glad to show you just how charming they can be.  But this time, the
first time, I want to do it right."

I leaned my head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent.  He easily
bounced up the stairs, not even the slightest bit winded when he
reached the top.  I forgot how strong he was sometimes.  He kicked
open the door to the master bedroom and strode to the bed, setting me
down gently.  He looked at me for a second, and then turned and
switched on the bedside lamp.  The room filled with a soft glow, muted
by the blue of the light shade.  The bed was a replica of an antique
brass bed, with the knobs on the posters and the fence like head and
foot boards.  He stood up and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.  He
slowly slid them down his legs and bent to pull the denim over first
one leg and then the other.  He ripped off his socks and stood before
me in his silk boxer briefs.

My God, the man was gorgeous.  The angles of his chest were set in
relief by the shadows cast from the soft light of the lamp.  My palms
itched to feel his skin.  His thighs were muscular as was his abdomen.
 His wide shoulders tapered down to a narrow waist.  I couldn't see it
yet, but I knew his ass was tight and beautiful and exquisitely
rounded and muscular.  God knows I'd sneaked enough peeks at that over
the years.  He smiled softly and hooked his thumb in his boxers,
pushing them down and letting them fall to the floor.  He kicked them
away and stood, letting me look at him.

I devoured him with my eyes.  His erection stood proud, bobbing
gently, pulsing with blood.  The head glistened with drops of pre-cum
.  Wow.

Just WOW!  The man was hung and he was very aroused.  I felt another
rush of arousal as I scanned his body again and then laid back.  I
whispered, "What do you want me to do?"

He came forward and knelt on the bed.  He carefully removed my shoes,
dropping them with a soft thud to the floor.  His hands skimmed up my
stockings, barely touching, making me shiver with the tickle of it. 
He smiled again, his thumbs reaching the top and teasing the bare skin
there.  I gasped.  He bit his lip and then looked up at me.  "God,
Scully, your skin is like silk.  It's softer than this silk.  I can't
believe it."

I smiled, saying nothing.  He slowly grasped the panty shorts and
pulled them slowly over the garters and off.  Now my sex was exposed
to the cool air and I blushed, feeling strange to be dressed only on
the top.  He crawled between my legs and lowered his face to shower
the inside of my thigh with little feathery kisses as he coaxed my
legs apart.  He lifted one leg and then the next, to set them, foot
flat on the bed.  I looked down and gasped at the sight of his head
between my legs.  He grinned and then descended between my legs. 

I yelped at the first contact, nearly breaking his jaw when I bucked
up suddenly.  He chuckled, saying, "Whoa, girl."  He grinned and
pinned my hips down with his hands as I blushed with embarrassment. 
He licked me again and I sighed.

He sucked on my labia and I moaned.

He stuck his long, talented tongue inside, swirling it around and I
groaned low, struggling to keep my hips still.  

He lifted his head and I whimpered in protest.  Oh lord, I'd never
liked having this done.  I was always too self-conscious.  I looked
down again and saw the awe and amazement and love on his face and knew
I'd never known a man make me feel so WANTED.   Oh God, I was so in
love with him.

I felt a small wave of dizziness as he pressed two fingers inside and
gently teased the front wall of my tunnel.  I cringed with a delicious
jolt when he found my G-spot and felt moisture gush between my legs
and my nether lips swell to nearly bursting, starting up a slow
pulsing ache in my crotch.

I moaned again as he continued his assault.  Then he lowered that
beautiful mouth to me again, and sucked my clit into his mouth,
dragging the flat of his tongue over it as it lay pinned between his
lips.  The rough texture of his tongue on my sensitive bud nearly sent
me through the roof as I shrieked, feeling the unexpected orgasm rip
through me like a lightening bolt.  He licked again and brought
another wave of rippling muscle spasms.  "Muullddeerr!  Oh God,
Mulder, YES!  Oh I love your mouth.  Love your mouth."

He pushed hard on the wall of my vagina and sucked hard on my bundle
of nerves again and I groaned, "Ooohhh, Gooooooddd!"

I felt completely boneless as he retreated and slowly made his way up
on all fours and straddled me, staring at my face.  I could do nothing
but close my eyes and pant for a minute or so.  I felt his hands busy
on my shoulders, but couldn't summon the energy just yet to open my
eyes and figure out what he was doing.

Finally, I forced my eyes open, my neck struggling to operate my head.
 He had loosened both adjustable shoulder straps.  Without removing
the teddy, he slid the silk over my breasts and down until the neck
line was framing my chest.  He slid one strap and then the other down
as I wriggled my arm backwards and out of the strap.  I went to pull
it down and off, but he stopped me, pinning my hands on the pillow
beside my head and leaning down to kiss me tenderly.  He broke the
kiss and said, "This blue silk makes your eyes so blue."

His hot, hardness was poking me in the thigh and I couldn't wait to
have him inside.  I'd waited so long to act on my impulses and now, to
wait anymore was unbearable.  I broke the kiss and nearly sobbed with
frustration, "For God sakes, Mulder, you're driving me crazy.  The
suspense is killing me!"

He chuckled low in his throat and lowered his head to capture my taut
nipple in his mouth and lap it firmly, swirling his wet tongue around
my areola and then sucking me into his mouth.  I arched up off the bed
and shouted an inarticulate sound.  He treated the other breast to the
same, taking his own sweet time.  Bolts of tingling arousal shot to my
womb with every suck and made it cringe with anticipation.

I couldn't believe that I was so aroused again, having just came
minutes before.  But I was nearly frenzied by then, whimpering and
clutching at his strong shoulders with my arms, trying to coax him
toward me.  I choked out, "Closer, Mulder,  ... skin, need to feel
you."

He sank down onto me still supporting most of his weight on his elbows
and I sighed in relief but it wasn't nearly enough.  "Pleeeaaassseee,
Mulder!"

He kissed me again quickly and harshly and rasped out, "Please,
what?"

I shouted, half choking, half crying, and definitely out of my mind
with lust and love, "I can't take it anymore.  Jesus, Mulder!  Get
inside, NOW!  I need you!  Oh, please!  Take me now!"

He gasped and positioned himself at my entrance, a look of
astonishment on his face.  I'm quite sure he never expected to hear me
beg him for it.   I could see the shock and excitement my pleading had
provoked.  I was totally out of control, a rare event for me and even
rarer that I let anyone witness it.  But I couldn't help it.

He slid slowly into me, pushing my tense walls wide as he eased his
throbbing sex inside me.  I groaned low and then sighed in relief when
he was embedded fully.  "Oh, yyeeaahh."  

I then merely sank into one continuous moan that rose and fell in
volume as he stroked into me slowly with long, deep strokes.  My
volume was directly related to how much oxygen I had at any given
moment.  The feel of him, hot and hard, sliding in and out, massaging
my aching core walls made my head spin.

He stopped after a few strokes and lay still.  My closed eyes snapped
open to see if something was wrong.  He looked at me, joy and awe
written in every line of his face.  And love, yes, there was so much
love there too.  His eyes were black and glassy.  He murmured, "I
think I've died and gone to heaven."

XXXXXXXXXX

This was beyond my wildest dreams.  There I was, wondering if I'd get
to make out with her again before the weekend was over.  My hopes had
been dashed when she left the room, telling me to stay.  I figured she
needed a few minutes alone after making her confession.

Scully wants me!  That thought, those words had my groin standing
instantly at attention.  It had taken every bit of will power I
possessed not to make a grab for her when she said, ' Probably about
as much as I want you,'.  I thought I was going to pass out from the
shock.

But then she appears before me like a vision of Venus risen swathed in
blue silk.  I nearly injured myself trying to lower my legs to the
floor and stand up.  I couldn't at first.  I didn't trust my legs to
hold me.  I was trembling from head to toe at the vision presented
before me.  She looked even lovelier than I'd imagined when I bought
it for her.

For a short person, Dana Scully has the most incredible legs I've ever
seen.  Despite her height, they are muscular and perfectly
proportioned to the rest of her body.  Seeing those garter belt straps
peeking out from below the shorts panties nearly did me in. 

I thought that was going to kill me until I raised my eyes and locked
in on her aroused, tight nipples poking through the silk.  But the
best was her face, flushed with arousal.  I could sense her
nervousness.  It hit me like a brick that she was afraid of my
reaction and I nearly laughed out loud at her insecurity.  But I
managed to tamp it down, stand and walk to her.  From there on out
it's a blur of pictures, snapshots forever etched on the canvas of my
brain.  Dana Scully standing there in blue silk, wearing 3" fuck me
pumps.  It's a wonder I could walk at all, let alone carry her up the
stairs, but I managed.  I hope she didn't feel me shaking. 

It was finally going to happen.  But I guess I had my doubts right up
until this moment.  Until this moment, the exquisite moment of the
first push into a woman you've never been with before, a guy is never
sure if it will happen.  Women have the option of backing out at any
time.  But she didn't, much to my delight. I kept waiting for her to
panic and stop me.

I had to play with her perfect breasts for a while first, and had
delighted in her unreserved, passionate response to my touch.  It had
kicked my arousal up another touch.  I was tingling with the suspense
of it, starting to shake inside with anticipation, just when she
uttered those very words, that the suspense was killing her.  Yeah,
honey, I've stored up seven years worth of suspense.

I wanted her to want me as badly as I wanted her.  I'd almost given up
accomplishing that goal and said, 'screw it', no pun intended and dove
into her when it happened.  Dana Scully begged me to take her.  Her
words were still tumbling around in my head making me dizzy.  'I can't
take it anymore.  Jesus, Mulder!  Get inside, NOW!  I need you!  Oh,
please!  Take me now!'

Her groan of relief and then later an infinitely satisfied sigh when I
was finally sheathed in her hot, tightness, was nearly my undoing.  I
couldn't believe that I, ME, Fox Mulder, had made her feel this way. 
Ice Queen my ass, more like the Flame Queen!

Her hot, snug walls, clutched at my aching cock, muscles fluttering
with tension as I slowly drew in and out, biting my lip to keep myself
anchored in reality.  It had been a while for her and I didn't want to
make her sore.  I had to stop or this was going to be over too soon.
She was unbelievably tight.  I was too overwhelmed with the feeling of
being inside her.  My heart was slamming against my ribs and I had
already broken out with a fine sheen of sweat all over my body.  I
stopped and remained still for a few moments, willing my heart to slow
down.  We had time.  No need to rush.

I groaned out, "I think I've died and gone to heaven."  A lazy smile
appeared on her face, the corners of her mouth twitching madly.  I
lowered my head and devoured her mouth as I began moving again,
feeling a bit more under control.  

I stopped several times to calm down when the sensations threatened to
overwhelm me.  She didn't seem to object.  Her legs were wrapped
around my waist, her ankles hooked together just above my ass.  The
feeling of the silk stockings sliding over my skin with every thrust
was exquisite.  Her teddy was bunched around her waist and I took a
moment to feel the chagrin of not having taken it off.  She saw me
look at it and grinned.  "Stop a second," she muttered.  I did and she
reached down and ripped the scrap of silk up and over her head, making
her hair fan out on the pillow underneath her. 

I grinned and stuck an arm under her lower back, lifting her slightly
so that I could slide my stomach over hers with every thrust.  I could
feel the lace of her garter belt scraping my stomach lightly.  I was
making love to Dana Scully while she wore garters and stockings.  It
was a dream, literally, come true out of one of my most lurid
fantasies.  I still couldn't wrap my mind around it.

I couldn't get close enough.  I concentrated on her and bringing her
the edge several times.  She didn't know it but I'd jerked off in the
bathroom when we got home from the mall.  I knew I'd never make it if
I didn't.  I'd been in a state of semi-arousal all day.  I was
starting to get the brain fuzzies from unrelieved arousal.  

I was glad I did now, or I never would have been able to hold out as
long as I did.  She was meeting my thrusts as I sped up, hitting her
hard now and squishing her into the mattress with every thrust.  She
grunted and moaned, her chest flushed.  Her eyes were closed and her
head swung back and forth, her tiny hands gripping my biceps in a
death grip.  I was beyond coherent speech or thought at this moment
and just went on auto pilot.  My brain was in a total testosterone fog
as I pounded in and out of her.  I felt her tunnel grip me tightly and
then spasm around me.  She shouted my name as she had her orgasm, a
good one too, I think.  My name had never sounded sweeter.  "Ohhh,
Mmuullddeerr, Yes!  Right there, oh God, yes!  Muullddeerr!"

I managed to hold on and lowered my mouth to kiss her again as I
continued to stroke into her.  I stopped again, now because I was
tired, as well as ready to come any second now.  She blinked slowly
and mumbled, "Oh God, Mulder, it's never been this good."

I was overwhelmed hearing those words.  I reveled for a second or two
in the knowledge that I was making her feel things no one else ever
had.  

MINE.  She was all mine now. My voice was raw and gravelly as I asked,
"Can you roll over?"

She flashed me a smile and nodded.  We both groaned as I pulled out. 
The cool air hit my soaking cock and I hissed at the slight
freeze/burn sensation that caused.  She rolled over and I grabbed a
pillow, stuffing it under her hips.  I was about to lower myself to
her when she raised up on all fours and turned her head to look at me
over her shoulder.

She was smiling from ear to ear.  Her hair was sticking out in twenty
different directions.  Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were
glinting in the soft lamp light.  I sucked in my breath at the impact
of that smile, the way she looked right now, literally offering
herself to me.  I moaned as I slipped up behind her and grasped her
hips firmly.  I knew I would be able to penetrate deeply this way,
despite her tiny size.  She had taken me in before in stride, so wet
and ready for me, it made my head spin.

She moaned as I slid home and began pushing back into me as I began to
stroke.  In no time, I was slamming into her, our sweaty skin smacking
together as we bounced together and away again.  I was pressing in so
deep.  Her shapely little ass stuck up pertly in the air.  I could see
her sphincter muscle winking at me with every push.  I reached down
and wet my thumb in her juices and returned to ply at her back door
gently.  The squeak of surprise from her quickly turned into the
lowest, sexiest groan I'd ever heard.  I slid my thumb into her
gently, and slowly until it was all the way in.  I began pulling it in
and out as I kept pumping my cock into her hot wetness.  This slowed
me down some but that was O.K.

I watched in amazement as she went totally wild, her hips thrashing,
slamming back into me, her sounds escalating.  I was glad we weren't
in her apartment or mine or we'd both be waking all our neighbors.  My
whole body spasmed suddenly in response to her wild groaning.  It
caused me to push into her a little more harshly than I intended with
my thumb and my cock.  I gasped, expecting her to make a sound
revealing pain.  Instead, she shattered into another orgasm,
screaming, "Aaaaahhhhh, Muuullldddeeerrr!  Jesus!  So deep.  Yes!  Oh
fuck, you're making me come aggaaiinnn!"

She shrieked again as her walls trembled tightly, messaging my cock,
and it was too much for me.  I ripped my thumb out of her ass and
began pumping into her like a madman. I was completely possessed and
knew nothing but the small area where our bodies were joined.  I
watched myself slam in and out of her, gripping her hips, still blown
away that I was doing this with her.  She shouted, "Yes, Mulder, come
for me, that's it, do it hard.  Come for me."

That's all I needed to hear.  I felt my spine tingle and my balls
coil.  My cock became so rigid it hurt for about two seconds and then
I was screaming as I let go of my own release and filled her with my
sperm.  "Scully!  Oh shit!  Oh God!  Oh Yeah!  Ooohhh!"  

I couldn't ever remember making a deposit quite that big.  We both
collapsed and I summoned the energy to roll off her.  She rolled to
her side to face and me and curled up against my side as we spent the
next few minutes recovering.  I looked down at her and she had the
most languid, sated look on her face.


I put that there.  I couldn't help the grin that invaded my face.  My
cheeks still hurt from all the smiling and laughing I'd done today. 
That was a sad statement, told how much I laughed and smiled
regularly.  I thought that just might change now.

She placed a few butterfly kisses on my chest and side and then
sighed.  "You, O.K., Scully?"

She raised her head to look at me, smiling softly.  "I've never been
this O.K., Mulder.  That was ... fabulous.  Oh God, I can't even put
it into words.  You're an amazing lover."  Her head flopped back down
and I grinned like an idiot again.  Thank goodness I'd gone into the
bathroom earlier for a little tune up.

She sighed and rolled away from me and I whimpered in protest,
reaching for her.  She said, "I'll be back soon, but I really have to
get these things off.  She unhooked her stockings and garter, removing
them and tossing them off the side of the bed.  She immediately
crawled back to snuggle into me, her head on my chest.  I hummed my
contentment and held her tight against me.

"What do we do now, Scully?"


"Hmmm," she murmured.  "I think we need to spend all day tomorrow in
bed."  She said this as if she was saying, 'Isn't it nice outside
today?'

I laughed.  "No arguments from me. But ..."

"I know that's not what you meant."  She paused.  "I would like to
spend one more day in seclusion, just the two of us, pretending the
rest of the world doesn't exist.  Monday will come soon enough and
maybe tomorrow night we can have the serious talk and iron out the
details."

"Details?"

"Of conduct, on the job, in public, etc."

I swallowed.  "So this is going to ... keep going?"  I asked
hesitantly, unsure if she would be insulted by that question.

She wasn't.  She frowned but then smiled and took it in the spirit of
why it was being asked.  She saw my insecurity and knew instinctively,
like she always did, that I needed her courage and reassurance.

"Oh Mulder, what am I going to do with you?" she asked playfully.

She rolled up and straddled my hips.  She was a sight, all sated, pink
and smiling with mussed hair, her eyes twinkling with amusement.  Her
smile faded.  She looked me right in the eye and said, "Damn, I am so
in love with you, Mulder."

I felt the bed spin momentarily.  I blinked and focused on her again,
my mouth hanging open in surprise.  She smiled again and sunk down to
plunge her tongue into my open mouth.  I responded in kind and we
kissed each other breathless.  Finally we broke and I returned the
sentiment.  "Love doesn't even cover what I feel for  you, Scully. 
But I do love you, so much."

We hugged each other tight.  I felt her lips smile against my chest. 
"Now, back to the plan for tomorrow.  We're going to need portable
food and drinks."

"Dana Scully!  Don't tell me YOU are going to eat in BED!"  She
giggled.

"I am," she stated firmly.  "And I'm going to show you every trick in
the book that I know and see if I can drive you crazy.  You up for the
challenge, G-Man?"

I laughed and squeezed her tight.  "Yeess," I hissed.  "What tricks,
Scully?  Doctor tricks?  Womanly tricks?  G-Woman tricks?"

She giggled.  "You'll just have to wait and see."

I mock groaned in agony.  "Oh man!  Not even a hint?" I whined.

She shook her head in the negative her eyes twinkling mischievously. 
I sighed, "Oh God, the suspense is going to kill me."

THE END.

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