From: Donna Honeycutt Date: Mon, 01 May 2000 12:27:46 -0400 Subject: New Story - "Remember Me" Source: direct Title - Remember Me Author - Donna Email address - donnah@pop.uky.edu URL - www.geocities.com/Area51/Quadrant/4571/ Rating - PG13 Category - MSR Spoilers - Series through 6th season Keywords - angst Summary - They've taken her away from him, for real this time Feedback - Please Archive - Anywhere, just please keep my name and let me know! Disclaimer - Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunman and Skinner all belong to Chris, 10-13 and Fox - Bless them for it!! No infringement intended. Remember Me "Scully, open your eyes. Come on." She could hear the voice again and it didn't sound as far away as it had before. Whoever it was had their hand on her face now. It felt good, so tender. Maybe she should open her eyes, but it just seemed like so much effort. "Scully, listen to me. I'm right here and I need you to look at me. Please Scully." Well they weren't going to go away. She stirred, now trying harder to comply with the instructions. She was so tired. She managed to open her eyes a crack. It was a man leaning over her, caressing her face. There was so much concern in his eyes. But as she watched him they began to lighten up. Something was making him happy. "Scully. I knew you could do it. Are you in any pain?" Pain? Now that he mentioned it she did have a headache somewhere in the background threatening to come closer. "Head." She managed to croak out and he nodded as though he understood her even though she had barely managed to speak. He turned away and spoke to someone else in the room. She'd thought they were alone but didn't have the strength to look around. She felt something move near her arm and realized she was on an IV. They were giving her pain medication. What had happened? Where was she? He obviously read that from her as well. "You're going to be okay. They only had you a couple of days. I was able to find you and do them a hell of a lot of damage. I think they'll be leaving us alone for a while." Find me? Damage? What was going on? "Dana? Are you awake?" There was a disturbance on the other side of the room and his face was replaced by that of her mother's. Mom looked tired; how long had she been here? "Mom?" She managed to get out. "Yes baby. Just relax, they're taking very good care of you here. Fox and I are right here with you." Fox? It didn't matter and sleep was taking her over anyway. She let her eyes close and drifted away again. ***** The next time she woke the lights were low. Must be night, she was able to turn her head this time and look around the room a little. He was here again, asleep in the chair. It didn't look very comfortable, why was he still here? And where was Mom? And Dad, was he out on maneuvers? No, he'd retired; maybe he'd been by while she was asleep. The man jerked awake, startling her. "Scully? Hi, you need anything?" He had hold of her hand now, fondling it. She didn't have the strength to resist and hell, it felt good. "Is my Dad here?" Well, her voice was stronger at least. His eyes grew wide for an instant before his face went carefully blank. "Your Dad? Uh, no Scully. Are you . . . should I get your Mom?" "Thanks." He let go of her hand, reluctantly it seemed, and left the room. He seemed to be gone for a while before the door reopened and her mother walked in. She was smiling, but her eyes seemed concerned. "Dana, how are you feeling?" "Weak, tired. Is Ahab here?" There seemed to be a long pause before her mother answered. "No Honey, he's not. But Fox and I are, so if you need anything . . . " "Fox? You said that before didn't you? What fox? I don't understand." She saw the look of fright pass over her mother's face before she could hide it. "Mom?" Her mother took what looked like a steadying breath, then said, "Fox is the man that's been here with you. You know, Mulder?" Scully shook her head slightly; "He's not one of the doctors?" "No Honey, he's your partner, your best friend." "What are you talking about? The man that was in here? The one that went to get you? I never saw him before." "Dana, you've been very sick. You might be a little confused. Don't worry about it now. You just get your strength back and don't think about anything but getting well right now." "What's wrong with me?" "I don't really know. When you're more yourself the doctors will have to explain it to you. You'll understand better than I would anyway." She smiled and patted her daughter's hand. "Go on back to sleep Dana, don't fight it. I'll be close by when you wake up." Scully nodded, giving in to the overwhelming fatigue the conversation had caused and allowed her eyes to close. When Mrs. Scully was certain she was asleep she stepped out into the hall. Mulder straightened up when he saw her come out of the room and approached her. "Is she okay?" "She's getting stronger, but she still has a long way to go." "Did she not remember that her father . . . " "No and I didn't want to tell her now, not as weak as she is." Mulder nodded in agreement. "Fox," she took his hand, "besides her father, well . . . she didn't know you. Now I want you to stay calm about it. She's been unconscious for days and has to be confused. I don't want you to get upset. When she's back on her feet I'm sure everything will be back to normal." Mulder didn't respond, he wasn't even sure he was able to. Didn't know him? She'd known him last time. What had been done to her? What did she remember? "Fox?" She touched his shoulder bringing him back to the present. "I'm, I'm okay. Really." He added when her expression gave her away. "Do you think it would be all right to go back in?" "Of course it would. The more she sees you the better. Why don't I get us a snack?" "I'm not hungry Mrs. Scully. You get what you want. I'll . . . I'll stay with her." She squeezed the shoulder she was still touching and turned away, suddenly as concerned for him as she was for Dana. ***** Being home was strange. Some things were so familiar and others were completely different. She knew now that Ahab and Melissa were dead, but she hadn't really assimilated the information. She didn't know how to grieve; it just didn't seem real. This man Mulder was so attentive. She might not remember him, but he obviously knew her, cared about her. He'd been to the hospital every day and had even come to drive she and her mother home. She'd finally convinced them that she was strong enough to leave the hospital, but not that she could live alone. She knew he was reluctant to leave her, even with her mother. In the life she couldn't remember he seemed to feel as though he should be her protector or else responsible for what had happened to her. No one had given her a straight story on that yet, she was weak and, though she would only admit it when she was alone, more than a little afraid. She'd become an FBI agent; she'd left medicine. No one wanted to talk about that either. They kept saying her memory could return at any time. She wanted it sooner rather than later. It could have been worse, at least she remembered her mother, this house, and thank goodness, her medical training. It was as though a six-year slice had been taken from her life and the two ends merged. "You should rest now Scully." He'd helped her up the stairs and to her room. "I need you to get your strength back so you can keep me in line at work." He grinned at her. He'd refused to listen to any possibility that she might not return to the FBI or him. She nodded, "Thanks again for driving us - " "I wanted to do it, Scully. Whatever you need. Listen, if you don't mind I'll stop by tomorrow. Just to check . . . just to see if you need anything." She tried to hide her smile, she wouldn't mind seeing him. He was certainly easy to look at and he did seem to be the key to her memories. "It would be nice to see you tomorrow." Well, she'd said the right thing. ***** She was still asleep when her mother tapped on her door the next morning. "You've got company, Dana." Scully roused herself. No! She didn't want Mulder to see her looking like this; it was bad enough at the hospital. But it wasn't Mulder that came in the door. "Bill!" "Hi Dana." He sat beside her on the bed and put his arms around her. "You look like you're doing okay." "I am. I'm stronger every day. Just a little memory lapse to get over." "But you know me?" "Of course I do. You don't forget someone who torments you for pleasure for years." "I thought you had forgotten Mulder." "Bill!" Her mother's voice was sharp and he ignored her. Scully looked over at her mother questioningly. Bill moved on smoothly, changing the subject. "You didn't spring yourself too quick did you Dana? I know doctors make the worst patients." "I'm feeling fine, maybe a little weak in the knees from being in the bed too much. What's going on with you, what are you doing in DC?" "Mom called to tell me of your latest - " He looked at their mother and hesitated, "anyway I had a trip to DC coming up so I just moved it forward so I could check on you. Tara and the baby send their love." "Who?" "Tara. Dana, I'm married now, I have a little boy, Matthew." "Oh." She said it in a very small voice and he found himself wishing he'd taken the time to find out exactly what she did remember from Mom. "I'm sorry Dana. What has that damn bastard done to you now?" "What?" Bill glanced over at the door, Mom had left but still . . . "Nevermind, Dana. I'm just glad you're safe now." After a couple of minutes she asked Bill to help her to her feet and she went to freshen up, then returned and sat in the chair beside the bed visiting with her brother. She heard his footsteps and had already begun to smile, missing whatever Bill had said last. "The door was unlocked, may I come in?" Mulder stuck his head in the door and smiled to see her out of bed. "What the fuck are you doing in my mother's house!" Bill was on his feet. Mulder hadn't spotted him; Scully sat stunned, mouth open and eyes wide. "You're not welcome here! Haven't you hurt her enough? You've ruined her life in every way possible! The only reason she's tolerating you now is that she can't remember what a hell you've made of her life." "Bill!" Scully had made it to her feet now and had clutched his arm. "Stop it! What's going on, what are you talking about?" Mulder's face was white and hard but he didn't respond or try to defend himself in any way. Maggie, hearing the commotion, ran upstairs to the room and stood in front of Bill as though to protect Mulder from him. "Bill, I want you to come with me." Maggie's voice didn't allow for arguments; the fact that Bill towered over her not diminishing her status as his mother. Bill's mouth clamped shut and he followed her from the room, shooting one last killing glance at Mulder. After an awkward silence Mulder turned to her, "Well, I guess I better get out of here. I'm sorry about . . . I didn't know Bill had come in." "Mulder, why does Bill hate you so?" She was still reeling from her brother's unprovoked attack. He sighed, "That's a long story Scully." "Six years long?" She asked gently, he was obviously as shaken as she was. He looked up and gave her a sad sort of smile. "Yeah. About that." "I need to hear it." Now he was searching her eyes again, standing too close. Why didn't it bother her? "You know Scully, now that I think about it, you're probably better off not remembering. You take care of yourself." He turned and without another word left the house. In a few minutes her mother returned to the room. "Where's Fox?" "He left." "I'm sorry Bill acted that way. Maybe I should give Fox a call. Or is he coming back later?" "I don't think he's coming back." "Dana?" Her mother looked at her closely. "He seems to think I'm better off not remembering him." Mrs. Scully kept silent waiting for Dana to continue. She finally looked up at her mother and tried to smile, "Is he right?" "I don't think so Dana, but I understand why he feels that way. Give yourself a little time, Honey. Him too. Your memory could return in an hour, a couple of days, we don't know." "And it could be never, Mom." She took a deep breath. "I'm kind of tired. Do you mind?" "Of course not. Call me if you need anything." Dana nodded and made herself more comfortable in the bed, turning away from her mother. Mrs. Scully watched her for another moment, then let herself out of the room. ***** She waited three days. That was enough, more than enough. "Fox? It's Mrs. Scully." "Hi." No more, no less. He waited for her to continue. "How long are you planning to avoid her Fox?" He winced at that. "I'm not avoiding her Mrs. Scully." "What would you call it?" There was silence on his end. "She needs you Fox." "I doubt that Mrs. Scully." "Do you doubt that you need her?" If she had to play dirty she would, for Dana. "No." Again he fell silent. "Well at least you're honest there." "How is she?" He couldn't help himself; he'd been dying piece by piece since he'd seen her. "Terrible." "What?" That came out harshly and he started to apologize but she cut him off. "She feels abandoned Fox. You just walk away and expect her to get along without you?" "She doesn't know who I am and that's a good thing. The farther she stays from me the less chance of this happening to her again. Isn't that what we all want?" "No, it's not what she wants. Fox, she may not remember you like we all think we remember people, but inside she knows you belong close by. She won't come out of her room and is barely speaking any more. She needs you, whatever you think." She sighed, this might have gone better in person but she was too worried about Dana to leave her alone right now. Dana herself had asked Bill to leave after refusing to listen to anything else he had to say. "I only cause her pain. Bill was right." Wouldn't leave her room? Not speaking? Scully? God, this was worse than he'd ever imagined. Scully never would react this way, not if she were herself. But he couldn't . . . "Bill was not right!" Maggie spoke urgently now, "Bill was Bill, he has no idea what the relationship is between you and Dana. And it's none of his business anyway. Please Fox, couldn't you stop by to see her today?" Did this woman even know what she was asking? Could she ever know? It had taken everything in him not to go over there, Bill or no Bill. Now he was being asked over? Because she needed him? How was he supposed to get over her this way - not that it was a possibility in this lifetime, but he was trying. "Fox please. I'm worried about her." He closed his eyes, not a good idea. What if she did remember? She'd be in danger again and she'd know what he'd done to her. He'd damaged the bastards, though he didn't for a minute believe they wouldn't be back. But could he refuse Mrs. Scully? She wanted him to come? Mrs. Scully heard him sigh and knew she'd won. "Come for dinner Fox, maybe we can persuade her to come down to the table. You'll help her with the stairs, won't you?" "Sure." God, she wanted him to come over and touch her? She was trying to kill him, Mrs. Scully had probably joined the consortium while he wasn't looking and this was their latest scheme to get him out of their hair - kill him outright. Well, it was a better plan than harming her to get rid of him. "What time?" "Now, the sooner the better. Fox, you haven't seen her." "You're scaring me Mrs. Scully." "I'm trying to and trying to prepare you. Please hurry." "I'm on my way." He hung up without saying goodbye. He couldn't talk to her anymore. He sat for a moment before rising from the desk. How could you want something and not want something this much at the same time? Mrs. Scully met him at the door and hugged him tightly. "I forgot to tell you, Bill went home. You don't have to worry about seeing him." He nodded and returned her hug. "Thanks." "I'm finishing dinner, why don't you go on up. Try to talk her into coming downstairs. She needs to come out of her room." "Why doesn't she want to?" "Talk to her Fox. I'll be in the kitchen." She turned and left him in the foyer, knowing he would find Dana wherever she was. He hesitated just outside her door. He shouldn't be here. She was better off without him. He leaned his head against the door and closed his eyes. He had to see her though, Mrs. Scully said she wasn't doing well. If he was honest with himself neither was he. Oh hell. He tapped on the door and opened it, not waiting for a response. She was lying in the bed but even there he could tell she had lost weight and there was so little color in her face. She looked up as he entered the room and couldn't quite hide the pleasure the sight of him caused her. "How you doing Scully?" He was proud of himself, his voice was steady. "I didn't expect to see you. My mother forced you to come, didn't she?" "Forced? She's just worried about you Scully. We all are. Why are you staying up here? Wouldn't you be more comfortable downstairs?" "It's too hard downstairs. Too many things remind me of Ahab and Melissa. I don't remember grieving for them and I have to do it again. I'm not ready for that." He nodded; it had been hard enough on her the first time. "I've been invited for dinner. Do you think you could eat with us, maybe in the kitchen, then you could come right back upstairs." Don't push her Mulder. She suddenly looked very tired and more than a little frightened. "I'm not sure I could walk that far." "I could carry you." Carry her? He'd meant to say help you. Too late now, she nodded and reached for her robe. He had to steady her as she stood; it seemed as though she hadn't even been out of bed since he'd seen her. She started for the door, prepared to walk to the top of the stairs, but he took her arm, turning her and scooped her into his arms. She stiffened for an instant, then relaxed against him. He couldn't stop his arms from tightening around her and she cuddled in a little, making herself comfortable. This was so far beyond a bad idea he couldn't believe it. They entered the kitchen and if Mrs. Scully was surprised she hid it well. He gently let her feet touch the floor and helped her into her chair. Mrs. Scully kept the conversation going and they were able to persuade her to eat a little. When dinner was through Mrs. Scully stood to clear the table. "Let me help you with that." "No, Fox. Why don't you help Dana out to the living room and I'll bring the coffee and dessert." Mulder looked over at Scully, he'd promised she could go right back upstairs. But to his surprise she nodded, so he helped her to her feet and she walked the few steps to the other room. They sat silently, though not awkwardly, waiting for her mother. He had a quick memory of one of his first dates, sitting on a sofa not unlike the one they were on now, waiting for the girl's father to come in so that they could be introduced. He looked over at Scully and realized she was having a similar memory and was smiling a little at him. He shrugged and they both relaxed back against the seat. Mrs. Scully came in almost immediately, placing a tray on the low table in front of them and pouring them both a cup of coffee. "Don't worry, I just gave you a very small piece of cake, Dana. Eat some of it, okay?" Scully nodded, smiling slightly and took the plate from her. It was more comfortable being down here than at any other time that she had tried it. She glanced over at Mulder, was it his presence? What was his role in her life? Why did just being near him make her feel better? She didn't remember him; she had no memories at all of this man before waking in the hospital. It made no sense. Mrs. Scully rose and picked up the tray. "Mrs. Scully, I should help with the clean up, that dinner was the best I've had in a long time." "I don't need any help in the kitchen. You just sit here and keep Dana company for a little while." And she was gone. That first date feeling came over him again. What did you talk about to a woman who should know everything there was to know about you? "I, uh, I promised I'd take you back up as soon as we ate. Are you . . . " "It's okay. Would you like to watch some TV?" At his nod they both reached for the remote, brushing hands. They both drew back quickly as though they had done something illicit. After a moment she turned to him, her mind made up. "May I ask you a question?" "Sure, anything." "Were we lovers?" The way his eyes dilated, the question had shocked him, why? "Uh, no, no we weren't lovers." "Because of our jobs?" This was so weird; she'd never had to ask this kind of question before. "Well, that was part of it." "Part of it?" He was so uncomfortable talking about this, she shouldn't have asked. Look at him Dana, he obviously has all the women he wants. She looked away, embarrassed that she'd brought up the subject. "I don't aspire that high." Her head jerked around to look at him again. What? What had he said? He gave her that dumb little half grin and shrugged. She looked away again, knowing that the redhead in her was blushing like mad. This was one hell of a confusing man; her own feelings weren't helping any. "Maybe I better go on up." His face immediately showed his concern. "We didn't keep you up too long did we? Are you okay?" "I had a very good time, I'm just a little tired. This is the most I've done for a while." He nodded, satisfied with that answer and rose. He had her in his arms before she could protest. He kept his hand on her as she took off her robe, making her feel like some kind of precious delicate glass, then helped her into the bed. She sighed at the comfort of reclining again and then smiled at him. "Will it be weeks before I see you again?" "No." No way, he wasn't that strong. He wanted to be, but how in all hell could he fight her, her mother and himself. He leaned over her and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her goodnight. Instead his lips gently brushed her brow. "Good night." "Night Mulder." She rolled away from him, afraid for him to see her face. He knew her too well, better than she knew herself right now and she didn't know what her eyes would reveal to him. He let himself out of the room and closed the door gently behind him, then just stood there trying not to think. He heard Mrs. Scully coming up the stairs and straightened up. "She's resting. I better go." "Can I count on you for dinner tomorrow?" Mrs. Scully was watching him closely, reading him like her daughter always had. "Mrs. Scully . . . " "Let's make it Maggie and be here by seven." He didn't have a chance with these women. Monty Props had been easier to figure out. After a very slight hesitation he nodded. "Good. We'll see you then. Can you let yourself out? You're practically family anyway and I want to check on her." "Sure. Good night Mrs. . . . Maggie." Practically family? ***** They fell into a routine. He'd never eaten better in his life and even Scully had finally gained a little weight. It was on his third night that she insisted on attempting the stairs on her own. He had hold of her arm, which she semi-grudgingly allowed. "Are you doing okay?" "I'm fine Mulder." She felt him stiffen beside her and turned to look at him. "What? What did I say? Mulder?" "Nothing. It's okay." "Tell me, please." "That's a phrase that I've heard from you a lot. It usually meant `leave me alone' or `this is none of your business'." "Are you sure that's what I meant?" She asked gently. "Yeah, I'm sure. You're a very independent woman Scully, you don't appreciate my hovering over you." "Why did you feel the need to hover?" He shook his head, he didn't want to get into this now - her abduction, her cancer, and oh god, Emily. "Later." He managed to say and to his surprise she accepted that, nodding once and continuing down the stairs. He looked up to see Mrs. Scully at the foot of the stairs watching them and smiling. Scully smiled back at her. "See? I am getting better, I told you." "It can't happen too soon for me." "Wanting to throw me out?" "Not exactly, though I do want it to be an option." Scully looked over at Mulder, "How wanted can you be?" He didn't respond. This wasn't the way his family had interacted and having her thrown out of here might cut down on the amount of time he'd get to see her. "You'd take me in, wouldn't you?" He nearly fell down the rest of the steps himself. She actually had to catch him when he missed the next step. "Well I guess that was a no." She grinned at him, a little pleased at his discomfort. "That was a yes, Scully. Anytime, any place." He realized immediately that her mother was listening to everything they said and clammed up. Maggie had retreated from the area as soon as she saw that Dana had instinctively moved to protect him in spite of her own limitations. Besides, her smile could be easily misinterpreted. ***** A couple of evenings later while they were all relaxing in the living room over coffee, something Mulder had never done prior to this interlude in his life, Maggie put her cup down and turned to the two of them sitting on the sofa. "I've missed my church group twice now and I'd like to go tomorrow night. Why don't the two of you go somewhere to eat? You haven't been out of the house yet and I think it's time." "Mom!" Good grief did the woman have nothing else to do but think up activities for she and Mulder? "What, I think it's a wonderful idea? What do you think Fox?" "Don't answer that." Scully turned back to her mother. "Mom, you've already roped him into coming over here every night, you don't have to force him to take me out. I'm perfectly capable -" "So why haven't you left the house Dana?" Scully looked away; truly uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking. "Scully, I think it would be fun." He quietly responded. "Sure, take her side." But she wouldn't look at him. "Does your mother go around fixing you up with women." Mulder had to chuckle at that. "You really don't remember my mother, do you Scully? Besides, you really should get out of the house." He was close enough to see the look of fear flit across her face. "Scully?" "What is it Dana?" Her mother leaned forward. Scully sighed; no way these two would let it go. "What if I see someone I'm supposed to know and don't . . . " "Fox will be there with you, Dana. He'll help you." It was as though their hands found each other without conscious thought. She suppressed her smile; did they even notice that they were holding hands? "Well, think about it. I won't be here tomorrow night and I think you could have a good time going somewhere." At that she stood and took the tray back into the kitchen. "Do you not feel up to it Scully?" His thumb was making circles on the back of her hand. "I don't want to push you." She took a deep breath. "It's not that, I don't feel like going hiking yet, but . . . I think I'm scared and I hate that." He was a little surprised that she would admit that, she seemed to trust him. Was that a good thing? He'd never hurt her, not if it was humanly possible not to, but he'd caused so much pain for her. Now she was squeezing his hand. "You look as scared as I feel. Do you think I'm not ready?" "No! God, no. You're more ready than I am to handle just about anything. I was thinking about . . . something else." She took a deep breath, "Let's do this Mulder. Please?" As always she was the stronger of the two of them. He nodded. "Any place special you want to go?" That stopped her, "Do I have a favorite?" "Well, I usually drag you to some greasy spoon and force french fries down you. We could go some place nice for a change. I can pretty much guarantee we won't run into anyone we know at a place like that." She laughed and he was mesmerized. "I don't know what to wear." "The blue dress with the cummerbund. It makes your eyes even bluer." He spoke promptly, then realized what he'd given away and his face took on more color. "Is it here?" "I'll bring it by in the morning on my way to work." "Do you want my key?" "I have my own." She looked startled at that. He had a key, he knew her wardrobe, but he assured her they hadn't been lovers. Okay, if she didn't remember why soon she'd have to confront him. He arrived the next night just as Maggie was leaving. She commanded them to have a good time and she'd see him tomorrow and was gone. He finally got a chance to appreciate how Scully looked. She had lost a little weight but she looked beautiful in the dress. "Mulder, I have to ask, is this the lowest cut dress I own?" He grinned, "Yep." "I thought so." She shook her head but smiled at him. "Ready?" "I made reservations downtown, I hope you like it." ***** "May I take your drink order?" The waiter leaned just a little too close in for Mulder's taste. "Scully?" "Ice tea please." "Two ice teas." The waiter nodded and left. "Mulder, I can't drink because of the medication, but if you'd like wine or a beer, I don't mind." "I don't drink much Scully." At her look he continued, "My father enjoyed his drinks just a little too much. I don't want that." She nodded, "You don't talk much about your family." "Mine wasn't like yours. There's not much to talk about." "Are your parents still alive?" He was startled by the question. "Sometimes I forget that . . . My father's dead, my mother had a stroke a couple of years ago, but she recovered." He stopped there and she could feel his discomfort at the topic. Since she wasn't sure why it bothered him, she dropped it for later. She wanted to enjoy tonight. The food was wonderful and while the service was a little too conscientious in his opinion, it was still an idyllic evening. "Mulder, I've been meaning to ask and I keep putting it off, but . . . " "Ask me anything Scully." "You've spent so much time with me, first in the hospital and now every night, is there some woman out there who's going to come after me?" "Are you asking if I'm seeing anyone?" She nodded. "No, no there's no one else in the picture." "Promise me if someone comes into the picture you'll tell me and take the time you need for yourself." "I'm where I want to be Scully. Don't worry about it." She looked in his eyes and saw the truth, so she dropped it. "How are you Scully?" An obvious change in subject. "Are you getting tired?" "Actually I feel energized. This is a lot better than I'd hoped. Do you have any plans?" "Plans?" "I mean, do you have to take me home now?" "Of course not. What would you like to do?" "See your apartment." "My . . . my apartment? Not yours?" "You're the person I'm trying desperately to remember. Maybe seeing your place will trigger something. Unless . . . if you don't want me - " "No, that's not it. I'm trying to remember the last time I put clothes in the laundry basket instead of on the floor." She laughed lightly and he drank it in. "Is that an unusual occurrence?" "No." He admitted sheepishly. "Then that's the way I need to see it, looking normal. I have been there before, haven't I?" "Oh yeah. You have a key to my place too." "How cozy." "It'd be even cozier if you'd pick up my dirty clothes sometime." "Dream on Mulder." "I was afraid of that. You ready?" At her nod he rose and held her chair. This had felt damn close to a date tonight, but he wasn't going to dwell on it. ***** He opened the door and bowed her in. She grinned and shook her head at him. Just inside the door she paused, no, as far as she knew she'd never been here. He was watching her closely and she turned to give him a sad smile. It would be okay. She ventured on into the living room and picked up a video that was lying on the table before he could get in front of her. Scully glanced at the title and looked up at him. "It's not mine, someone must have left it here." "Right." She responded dryly and walked to his TV. There she opened the cabinet underneath and saw more of the collection. She turned back to him, her eyebrow high. Rather than comment he turned away. "Would you like some coffee?" "Uh, sure." She let him off the hook and saw the deep breath he took. She turned to look around the room. Leather couch, coffee table, TV and VCR, fish tank but she didn't see any fish in it, and the computer. It was almost Spartan, like he didn't spend much time here, or what he did wasn't all that happy. A rush of compassion came over her and she felt less guilty about the amount of time he was spending at her mother's. She walked to the computer and saw a photograph of a little girl. She resembled him. Scully picked up the picture and was looking at it when he returned. "Mulder, do you have children?" She looked up at him. The comment stopped him in his tracks. She turned the frame so that he could see what she had. "That's Samantha." At her blank look he continued, "My sister." "How old is she Mulder?" "She would be a year younger than you." "Would be?" She saw the look of pain on his face. "Mulder, I'm sorry. I didn't . . ." He shook his head and took the picture from her, placing it back on the desk. "She's the reason . . . nevermind. Your coffee's ready." "Mulder? I'm sorry." She moved closer to him, what would have been within his arms if he would only make the move. She'd touched some deep pain. Her hand went to his face automatically, pulling him closer to her and without making a conscious decision brought his lips down to hers. For the briefest moment their lips mated, then he jerked back away from her. "No. No, Scully. We can't." She was breathing deeply; he couldn't stop himself from glancing down at her breasts. Hell, he'd chosen the damn dress. He closed his eyes and stepped away from her. What had she opened up here? Why wouldn't anyone tell her about her relationship with this man? Other than knowing that somehow he was her best friend, and that they had apparently worked together for years nobody considered her `strong enough' to handle the knowledge. Well she was strong enough! "No. Mulder, I want to know what's going on. I want you to tell me what everyone's afraid for me to remember." "Scully, I - " "Tell me or I'll find someone who will. I'm tired of being treated like an invalid or a freak. I can't recall six years of my life! I can feel how important you are to me, but I can't remember it. Nothing makes any sense. Who `took' me? Why was this done to me? What, you think I can't hear as well as remember? Talk to me Mulder." "Now isn't a good time." "When is a good time! Damn it Mulder. Forget it, just forget it." She turned and headed for the door. "Scully." He took hold of her arm, stopping her. "Let go of me." "I'll take you home." He sounded defeated but she pushed that aside. "I haven't forgotten the way to my mother's house." "You're not leaving alone." "Watch me Mulder." She was too angry now to be near him. "Scully." He was clearly begging. The look in her eyes gave no quarter. She shook his arm off and continued to the door. "I think you should make other plans for dinner for a while Mulder." And she was out the door. ***** "Hello?" "Mrs. Scully - " "Not Maggie?" There was a lilt in her voice this morning he didn't understand. "I want to apologize about last night." "Well, I appreciate that Fox, but you're both adults - " "May I speak to her?" He had to hear her voice, surely she'd calmed down by now. "What?" "She was upset and I need her to know - " "Fox, she never came home last night. I assumed she had stayed with you." "What?" It was more breath than word. "Have they taken her again? Fox?" "I'll be right there." The phone went dead in her ear and she sank into the nearest chair. Now what? When the phone rang it was still in her hand and she nearly dropped it. "Dana?" "Mom, its Bill. Dana's here. She flew in and she's dead on her feet. She had no luggage or even enough money for the cab out here. What's going on?" "I don't know. Let me speak to her." "She's asleep. Did her memory come back? Is that why she ran?" His tone was moderating into hostile. "I don't know Bill. I'll be there as soon as I can." "Take your time Mom. I'll keep an eye on her. Try not to worry." After quick good-byes Maggie tried Mulder's phone. When there was no answer she hurried upstairs to pack a bag for herself and Dana. In an amazingly short amount of time Mulder was at her door. She hurried down and flung the door open for him. He looked terrible - as though he'd aged ten years overnight. "She's safe Fox. She's in California. Bill just called." She put her arms around him, not sure if she'd have to support him physically, "Come on in here." She led him to the living room and he sank into his regular seat. "Fox, what happened last night?" She didn't sound accusing and her hand was lightly rubbing his shoulder. "She . . . she wanted to know things I wasn't ready to tell her. She accused me of treating her like an invalid, like she wasn't strong enough to hear . . . Mrs. Scully, I'm the one that's not strong enough to relive it." He looked into this wise woman's compassionate eyes. "Isn't she better off not knowing?" "Fox, these things made her strong, made her the woman you love." He looked up startled and saw the smile in her eyes. "If nothing else, she has to remember Emily. It will be painful, but she's incomplete without it." "She's with Bill?" Maggie nodded. "She said if I wouldn't tell her, she'd find someone who would." "Do you want her to only hear this from Bill's point of view?" "No! I mean - " He stopped, the man was her son. "I know what you mean. I think we should get out there." "I'll go." She started to protest but stopped herself. These two needed to work things out, they didn't need her and Dana was okay, physically. Finally she nodded. "Call me when you get there. Let me know how she is, really." "Promise. I better get going." ***** If he believed in such things he'd say the gods were conspiring against him. He had taken the first available flight out of DC, but after a four-hour delay in Chicago he was ready to hijack a plane himself. He'd been in contact with Maggie, but not Scully or Bill. Why warn them and have her go into hiding? But he cringed at what Bill must be telling her. When he finally arrived Tara opened the door, but before he could speak Bill had yanked the door open and motioned for Tara to leave. "What the hell are you doing here?" "I need to see Scully. I need to make sure she's okay." "A little late for that, don't you think?" He didn't try to hide his contempt. "Just let me talk to her." "She doesn't want to have anything to do with you." Bill started to close the door, but Mulder held it open, moving to stop him. "You want me to call the police?" "Just ask her if she'll see me. Please." "Bill." Scully was at the top of the stairs. "You don't have to do this Dana." But she wasn't listening to him anymore. She was looking at Mulder. He looked . . . anguished. She'd never used that description for anyone, that she could remember she amended, but it was the only word that fit. He was drinking in the sight of her, believing for the first time that she was truly alive and well. "Scully please." She nodded, "Bill." He made a disgusted sound but left the room. "Come on in Mulder." "I'm not welcome here Scully. Could we go somewhere?" She gestured to the robe she was wearing. It was obviously Tara's and too big for her. "Oh, I have a bag for you. Your mom sent it." "She's not with you?" "No, but she'll come if you need her." "She thought I'd only need you?" He didn't look away, looking her straight in the eye. She was the one that finally broke the contact. "I'll get your things." When he returned to the door she motioned for him to enter. "I think it would be better to wait in the car." She hesitated, then agreed and turned from him. He almost turned her back, but managed to stop himself. He retreated to the car and sat with his hands crossed on the steering wheel and his head bowed upon them. He sensed her near and looked up. He reached for the door handle but she waved him to stop and let herself in. He drove to a small hotel near the base and she finally broke the silence. "You staying here?" "I am now. I'll be right back." He let her into the room and sat on the bed looking up at her, giving her the position of power. After a moment she spoke. "Why couldn't you tell me?" "Are you better off knowing?" In spite of Mrs. Scully, he wasn't sure how to handle this. "It's who I am. Tell me about . . . about Emily." Her voice quavered over the name. "Was she really mine?" He nodded, "Biologically she was. You didn't carry her; there was a surrogate. You weren't aware of her until a couple of weeks before her death." "Was she yours?" He looked startled at that, then shook his head. "Will you take me to her grave?" "She's not there Scully. Bill and your mom don't know . . . they stole her body. They couldn't leave us that kind of evidence. We don't know where . . . " It was the final straw. He saw it in her eyes as she crumbled. She felt his arms around her as the blackness pulled her under. ***** She became aware of a cool cloth against her face. "Scully? Can you hear me?" She opened her eyes and saw him gazing down at her. "Are you in love with me?" For some reason the question didn't even surprise him, the whole thing seemed to be inevitable. "Yes I am." "Are you sure?" "What?" "Are you sure it's love and not pity?" She sounded so matter of fact. "Pity? Wha - " "I mean, I have cancer that could reoccur at anytime, no one knows for sure what was done to me when I was taken and I'm barren. It seems more likely that you'd grow to pity me, not to love me." "It's love Scully." "How can you be sure?" "Because I fell in love with you before any of that happened." "What?" He sat beside her on the bed. "It was one of our first cases, a serial killer named Eugene Victor Tooms. The case was brought to our attention by an agent that was attracted to you. I thought it bugged me so much because we were becoming good partners, you listened to me even when you didn't believe. I was acting damn territorial and you called me on it. Then I found evidence that Tooms had chosen you for his next victim. I thought I'd die trying to get to you, he'd screwed with your phone, and I couldn't reach you to warn you. That's the first time I broke down your door." There was a slight smile on his face at that. "Six years ago?" "About that." "And you never said anything?" "I told you, I don't aspire that high." He said it lightly but she saw the pain in his eyes. "I'm beginning to understand what happened to me, but now I need to know what happened to you. What caused you to be you? It started with your sister, didn't it?" She was unprepared for the moisture that pooled in his eyes. She sat up then and pulled him into her arms. He tried to pull away but she tightened her grip. "Scully." And then he was crying. She pulled him down beside her and held him. He seemed as lost as she was. But he was in love with her and she didn't feel real unless he was with her. He woke with her in his arms. They were both fully clothed, nothing had happened between them. No, that wasn't true, nothing physical had happened between them. But they were together like never before. He'd take her to see Dr. Neaman. He'd help her recover her memories, as horrible as some of them might be. And she'd remember him.